Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,369 --> 00:00:06,450
Hello, New York Herald?
2
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,090
Oscar Madison, please.
3
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:09,930
He's not in.
4
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:13,270
Well, let it ring, operator. Sometimes
he can't find the phone under the
5
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,490
Hello? Sports Department?
6
00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:19,650
Is Oscar Madison there, please?
7
00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:21,710
What?
8
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,110
He's out on an interview?
9
00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:26,550
Well, doesn't he know he's over an hour
late for dinner? That I've got a
10
00:00:26,550 --> 00:00:28,510
meatloaf in the oven that's slowly
turning into a footrest?
11
00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:31,550
Why doesn't he tell me before he goes
out on these things?
12
00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:33,730
No, this is not his father.
13
00:00:35,519 --> 00:00:37,980
No, no message. I'm sure he'll come home
in his own good time.
14
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,340
Well, Oscar, old buddy, you got any more
questions you want to ask me about my
15
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:44,580
football team? No, no, no. I got enough
material for my column. Now, this is the
16
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:48,420
way a man should work, see? Ten
questions and a winning hand. I bet him.
17
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,420
Sam, you still contemplating? Boy, we're
only in New York for the weekend, you
18
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:54,240
know. Don't rush me. I got five cards
with only two eyes.
19
00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:59,350
Listen, Oscar, I'm giving this to your
charity by Saturday night, and I'd be
20
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:03,450
mighty pleased if you and the filly of
your choice would consent to come.
21
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:04,468
Thanks, I'll be there.
22
00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:08,630
Yes, you'd be quite a hoedown. I got a
top -notch band, boy. I'm flying Ma Gump
23
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,270
and her tumbleweeds in from El Paso.
24
00:01:11,850 --> 00:01:16,970
Ma Gump? The kindest, sweetest, most toe
-tapping lady you ever saw.
25
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:21,770
58 years old and tobacco -spitting champ
of Dawson County.
26
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:23,090
No kidding.
27
00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:25,540
Well, I got... Four red cards, one
black.
28
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:26,738
I'm yellow.
29
00:01:26,740 --> 00:01:27,740
I quit.
30
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,080
Well, it looks like it's just you and
me, Oscar.
31
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,460
Yeah, Billy Joe cost you $100 this
evening. I hope that's not going to
32
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,460
you.
33
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,100
Gee, I tipped the cab driving more than
that yesterday.
34
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:43,180
Okay, buddy, here's your $100, and I'll
raise you $500.
35
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,140
You'll raise me $500?
36
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,640
Listen, I got your beep, and I'm all
tapped out.
37
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,630
Well, let's not hassle over a few measly
dollars. I'll trust you for it. You
38
00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:55,070
will? That's what I love, a gentleman's
game. I got a full house, three kings,
39
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:56,330
two queens. Sorry about that.
40
00:01:57,230 --> 00:01:58,670
I'm afraid I got you whooped, Oscar.
41
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:00,509
Two pair.
42
00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:03,930
As well as two pair beat a full house.
When they're two pair aces.
43
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:07,890
Four aces?
44
00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:09,430
That's all they're on.
45
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:14,790
Well, you're a little short, buddy, but
500 bucks, that ain't much.
46
00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:16,250
No, that ain't much.
47
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,130
Huge. I tipped my doorman more than that
yesterday.
48
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,580
Billy Joe, I got bad news for you. It
looks like Ma Gump ain't gonna be able
49
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:25,540
make it up from El Paso this week for
the dance.
50
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,060
She's in a family way.
51
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,520
Thought she said she was 58 years old.
52
00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:32,600
Well, now, she's a right pretty girl
when she's got her teeth in.
53
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,340
Now, look, Dick, buddy, you're gonna
have to get me a real country band
54
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:39,140
boy. That ain't gonna be easy, Billy
Joe. All the good bands are down in
55
00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:41,660
Nashville this week for that country
music round. Now, listen, buddy.
56
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,920
You are my business manager.
57
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,420
Now, come Saturday, I want to hear a
band, not excuses.
58
00:02:47,740 --> 00:02:49,000
I'll get right on it, Billy Joe.
59
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,320
Oh, Oscar.
60
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,800
About that $500 you owe Billy Joe?
61
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,120
He'll take your check.
62
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,660
Well, that's no good, you see.
63
00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:59,580
This month's service charge wiped me
out.
64
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,900
Will he take an IOU?
65
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:06,880
Well, last fellow tried to give Billy
Joe an IOU. Got about as far as the O.
66
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:08,280
As far as the O?
67
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:12,340
Yeah. They found him a couple days later
coughing up the ace of spades.
68
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,820
Won't he give me some time to pay him
back?
69
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,100
Well, how much time you gonna need?
70
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,560
Well, let's see. There's the back
alimony, the bookie, the food.
71
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,499
There's the rent.
72
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,800
See, but I could stall the food and the
rent about 11 months.
73
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,720
Billy Joe allows only 24 hours.
74
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,040
Oh, okay.
75
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,200
I'll get it for my roommate.
76
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,820
As long as you get the $500 up by 7 o
'clock tomorrow night.
77
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,160
Well, don't worry. He's my best friend.
When I tell him I'm in trouble, he'll
78
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,159
give me the money like that.
79
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,880
I'll tell him what happened. I had a
full house. A guy built four races. He
80
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,100
understands about things like that.
81
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:46,900
I'll trick him into it.
82
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,180
The Odd Couple was filmed in front of a
live audience.
83
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,640
Hi, buddy.
84
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,100
Don't ask me about my arm. I don't want
to upset you.
85
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:34,140
Oh, boy, what a pleasure it is to come
home. Look how you set a nice table, you
86
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:37,260
know? No matter what kind of a jungle it
is out there, it's always so nice to
87
00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:38,260
come here.
88
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:40,780
flowers, everything's so nice. All
right, Phoenix, what's the matter?
89
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,400
Something's wrong. I can tell by your
conversation.
90
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:45,960
You're late.
91
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,040
I'm sorry.
92
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,080
You're over an hour and a half late.
93
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,860
I'm sorry. Come on, let's see. We'll
talk about my soram later. Come on,
94
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:53,860
see. We'll talk about it later.
95
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,440
What am I supposed to do? Go and get
your food for you?
96
00:05:58,740 --> 00:05:59,840
What am I, your slave?
97
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,660
From now on, you're going to get your
own food. Do you hear that?
98
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,580
What I'm doing now, I'm never going to
do this again.
99
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:09,900
Well, this is the next to my sore arm
that hurts.
100
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,740
It's your ex -meatloaf.
101
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,320
Rest in peace.
102
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,040
Not bad. Just need some ketchup, that's
all.
103
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:19,800
See if I can open it.
104
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:26,940
I don't know why I cook for
105
00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:30,180
you. Because people like you don't even
appreciate an instant meal. That's why
106
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,180
they have TV dinners.
107
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,220
I said I was sorry.
108
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,480
That covers it, huh?
109
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,260
No way.
110
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:42,720
I want your solemn promise that this
will never happen again.
111
00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:45,600
Do I have your promise? Yeah, I promise.
I promise.
112
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,480
I've got a closet full of your promises.
113
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,100
What's the matter with your arm?
114
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:55,539
You noticed.
115
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:59,780
I didn't want you to notice me upset you
like that. What is it? What's the
116
00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:00,780
matter? No, no, you told me.
117
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,680
I was on the subway. 40 seconds for you.
The guy got on. He must have been
118
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,500
drunk. His head got caught right in the
doors. I went over. I rushed. I opened
119
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,780
the doors. Nobody got his head out.
120
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:12,960
Oh, but you saved that. It hurts, huh?
121
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,720
It's all right. I can live with it.
122
00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:16,140
I'm going to get a beer.
123
00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:18,900
You're coming with me? I'm taking you
straight to the doctor. I've already
124
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,640
to a doctor. Now I can do without the
operation.
125
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,100
What operation?
126
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,560
I told you, if I get the operation, I
can't afford it anyway.
127
00:07:26,289 --> 00:07:29,670
Don't die with your teeth. Let me do
this for you.
128
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,950
Thank you.
129
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:35,510
How much is the operation?
130
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:37,930
$500.
131
00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:44,330
Still, $500 is not so much for an
operation. It is to me.
132
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,370
Houston, I'm going to loan you the
money. Oh, no, I can't ask you to do
133
00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:50,490
don't want to hear another word out of
you.
134
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,060
We're friends, aren't we? You do the
same for me. You owe me $500.
135
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:57,380
I told you, I don't want to hear another
one. I don't mean to do it. I swear I
136
00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:59,760
don't. Where's my checkbook? You usually
keep it in the middle drawer, right?
137
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:04,680
Huh?
138
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,840
You bunco artist.
139
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,020
Have you no shame?
140
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:13,460
No.
141
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:17,280
It's not enough that you come home late
for dinner, but you give me that sleazy
142
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,140
story about subways and arms.
143
00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:22,110
Well, I gave it a shot. Didn't work. I
gotta find something else. Thought you
144
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,990
could play on my sympathy, didn't you?
But I'm too smart for you.
145
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:27,670
That's $500.
146
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:28,850
I'm telling you this, mister.
147
00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:30,950
It's your mark for a trash masher.
148
00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:33,350
Why don't you give it to me? We'll live
with loose garbage.
149
00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:35,690
Now hear this, Madison.
150
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:40,090
New rules. I'm laying down the law. From
now on, no more late for dinner and no
151
00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:41,909
more crazy stories about the subway.
Comprende?
152
00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:45,890
Eat your meatloaf. It's good. Will you
stop nagging? I'll eat it already.
153
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:48,770
expecting me to dinner tomorrow night,
you better be on time because I'm having
154
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:49,790
the sofisticados here.
155
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:51,010
What are sofisticados?
156
00:08:51,370 --> 00:08:54,310
You know my band, the sofisticados.
Don't make any remarks. Come on.
157
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:55,830
How's it doing you back?
158
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:57,510
I told you, no smart remarks.
159
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,690
My band's doing all right.
160
00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:01,810
We need one good break, that's all.
161
00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:05,030
Yeah, like Ma Gump getting pregnant.
162
00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:10,430
Ma Gump is pregnant.
163
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,910
That's why you need the $500, isn't it?
164
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,760
This is the last time I'm getting your
dessert.
165
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,980
Hey, Oscar, you raised the money. You're
coming to pay off. Well, not exactly.
166
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:35,660
Boy, howdy. Wait a minute, will you?
Now, did Billy Joe get a band for the
167
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:39,300
party? No, he didn't, and he's all riled
up about it. Don't worry, I'm going to
168
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,300
rile him down.
169
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:44,720
Dad, burn it. I almost got Ma Gump's
sister Hoedown Harriet to play for us,
170
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,580
she won't work on Gabby Hay's birthday.
171
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,470
Uh, buddy, you come to pay up?
172
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,790
Well, listen, Billy Joe, I've been
thinking you're a rich man. Now, what
173
00:09:53,790 --> 00:09:54,790
money mean to you?
174
00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:56,110
Everything.
175
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,890
Well, I was thinking about paying you up
on something more important than money.
176
00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:00,110
Oh, you got oil?
177
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:03,390
Something more important than that. I
can get you a band for your party.
178
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:06,930
Don't play with me, buddy. I'm not
playing with you. Now, I can get you a
179
00:10:06,930 --> 00:10:09,390
It won't cost you a penny. I'll donate
it to your favorite charity.
180
00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:13,350
Hey, you know, now, that would really
pull me out of the well, buddy. You can
181
00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:17,770
get me a real country band. The
country... Well, you get me a country
182
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,570
I'll forget the $500 you owe me. Hey,
that's a deal.
183
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:22,510
Oh, good. Hey, wait a minute, old buddy.
184
00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:23,970
What name is your band?
185
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,450
Oh, uh, Felix Red River Unger and his
Saddlesores.
186
00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:31,550
Oh, and they play the country -est music
you ever heard in your life.
187
00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:32,850
Do I?
188
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:36,330
Felix Unger and the Sophisticados,
ladies and gentlemen.
189
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,060
If we're so good, how come we can't get
a gig?
190
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,680
We will, we will, Vern. It just takes a
little time. That's all.
191
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,760
Don't get down. Yeah, listen, I read
somewhere where it took Ishka Bibble a
192
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,000
six years before he made it big. There
you are, there you are. You said we'd
193
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,240
work, we'd be singing. We will. There's
a call for sophisticated music.
194
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,880
Hey, look, music's on. It's horrific out
in the hall. Play another one, will
195
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,960
you, fellas? Yeah, okay, come on, let's
go. Did I hear anyone say horns up?
196
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:21,040
What's your crazy story this time?
Making a baby shower for Ma Gump? I'm
197
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,360
Stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.
198
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,100
Maybe not interested in the job.
199
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,839
What job?
200
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,580
For you and the band. That's why I'm
late.
201
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,720
Where? At the Ritz Towers. It's for some
football fans. They're here to see the
202
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:38,020
Jets game. The Ritz Towers? Fellas, I
told you we'd work. Oh, that's so great.
203
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:41,660
I'm sorry. I snapped at you, Oscar.
Stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.
204
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:42,940
Hey, that's a good one, Oscar.
205
00:11:46,570 --> 00:11:47,570
How much do we get paid?
206
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:48,830
Try nothing.
207
00:11:49,170 --> 00:11:50,250
Nothing? Yeah.
208
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:51,690
Nothing doing, buddy.
209
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:55,770
This is a charity. A band gets to be
heard by a lot of rich people. Who knows
210
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:56,770
what can happen?
211
00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:57,729
Charity? Yeah.
212
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:58,830
Do we have to dance with the singles?
213
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,090
No, no mixing.
214
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,870
What do you say? Rich Towers. Hey,
that's a very sophisticated room.
215
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:06,050
Let's do it, guys. What do you say?
Yeah, let's go.
216
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:11,530
Thank you. Let's do a song for Oscar.
Yeah, I like a folksy one. Number 23.
217
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,050
Okay. Folksy.
218
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:15,449
Golly gee.
219
00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:18,810
Jeepers, creepers. Where'd you get them?
Where'd you get those creepers?
220
00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:22,630
Jeepers, creepers. Where'd you get them?
Where'd you get those eyes? Where'd you
221
00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:23,630
get them?
222
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,050
Golly gee.
223
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:29,550
When you turn those heaters on.
224
00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:31,130
Woe is me.
225
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,610
Gotta put my cheaters on.
226
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:35,650
Jeepers, creepers.
227
00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:37,630
Where'd you get those creepers?
228
00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:41,230
Oh, those weakers. How they hypnotize.
229
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,330
Where'd you get those eyes? Eyes.
230
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,930
Where'd you get those thighs?
231
00:12:46,210 --> 00:12:46,510
You
232
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:57,190
don't
233
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:58,190
want to see this room, do you?
234
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:01,630
Of course I want to see it. I've got to
check the acoustics, the microphone. I
235
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:02,910
already checked them out on the
telephone.
236
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:04,970
You can't check them on the telephone.
237
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:08,470
What's this? What's what?
238
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:10,910
Straw on the floor.
239
00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:12,530
That's right, it looks like straw.
240
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:16,090
What's this stuff? What is it? Oh, this
is fertilizer.
241
00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:19,690
Yes, look at this. A nice microphone
goes up and down for a nice thing like
242
00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:20,730
this. What a mess.
243
00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:25,250
Look who I'm talking to about a mess.
The acoustics are pretty nice. You hit
244
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:26,510
straw, it comes right back to you.
245
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,910
Kids, I'll tell you that. It's real.
Why? It's a big operation.
246
00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:32,330
Scholars are a class act. We will not
perform in this ambiance.
247
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:35,310
It's a great ambiance. Maybe the other
guys will like this ambiance.
248
00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:36,590
Hey, Oscar.
249
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:37,890
Glad you're here, buddy.
250
00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:39,790
Oh, hi, Billy Joe. Nice to see you.
251
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,950
Billy Joe, I'd like to meet my roommate
and your conductor for tonight.
252
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,200
He came in to check the room.
253
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:46,900
Well, now, I'm mighty pleased to shake
your hand, Red River.
254
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,500
Red River, where are your saddle sores?
255
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,399
I want.
256
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,340
Come on, Red, let's go. So this good old
boy's going to make my people happy,
257
00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,680
huh? Well, I want to keep it moving,
buddy.
258
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,120
I want this place to shake like two
tomcats in a gunny sack.
259
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,540
I want Action Boy action. You're going
to have this place cleaned up, aren't
260
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,540
you? Clean?
261
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,980
I had these decorations flown in all the
way from Texas just for this here barn
262
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:10,980
dance.
263
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:12,299
Barn dance?
264
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,300
That's right.
265
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,840
Ribs done spit, beer in the keg,
grandpa's dancing on a wooden leg. He
266
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,940
spinning around and around till he
screwed himself right in the ground.
267
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:28,680
Can I talk to you for a
268
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:29,680
moment, Oscar?
269
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:32,460
And
270
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:40,420
that's
271
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,240
what Oscar wanted us to lower ourselves
to.
272
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,379
Country music.
273
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,960
What's that difference? What kind of
music do you play? A band's a band,
274
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,700
That from a man who had a jukebox at his
wedding.
275
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,600
All right, fellas. All together.
276
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:52,940
No dice.
277
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:53,960
Oscar. And.
278
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:59,980
Come on. And.
279
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:02,920
You mean you guys will play?
280
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,360
Maybe we should, Felix. Look, I mean,
I'm a policeman.
281
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,720
Ellen's an interior decorator. Bob's a
butcher. And Vern's a gynecologist.
282
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:13,930
I mean, we're just a bunch of guys
playing for fun.
283
00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:16,890
Degradation is not fun.
284
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,130
It could be.
285
00:15:20,410 --> 00:15:23,310
It will be fun. Bob's a great country
fiddle player.
286
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:25,150
Yeah, Oscar could play the washboard.
287
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:28,150
He's never even been near a washboard.
288
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,470
Fellas, I'm warning you, count me out.
289
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,090
You're out.
290
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:37,870
Who'll lead the band?
291
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,970
I'll lead the band. Oh, that's a hot
one.
292
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,279
Ho, ho, ho!
293
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,080
Come on, you always make a big deal, and
I could do it. It's easy.
294
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,560
What do you say, fellas?
295
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:50,440
Yeah, let's play, huh? Thanks a lot,
fellas. Just remember, without Felix
296
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,260
you're not a band. You're just a mob.
297
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,980
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have bigger
fish to fry.
298
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,400
I think he's a little peeved on. How is
this all losing?
299
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,060
What do we do now? We play a song.
300
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:01,680
Which one?
301
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:02,760
Billy Joe. You know what he likes?
302
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,040
Uh, Coming Around the Mountain. Okay.
All right, but you better lead us,
303
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,700
we don't know this one too good. What do
you want?
304
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,040
Get it with the baton. Oh, it'll be my
pleasure. Well, it's easy. Here we go.
305
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,740
What are you doing, fellas?
306
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:20,460
Come on, play it. Where are you playing
it from?
307
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,140
Let's go.
308
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,480
In the middle. Play it in the middle.
309
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,200
Why don't you play it fast and you play
it slow? What is it? In the middle.
310
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,480
Well, you were leading us.
311
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,120
You mean you watched the guy with the
baton?
312
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,660
It looks so easy.
313
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:37,880
Let's do something we all know, like I
got spurs that jingle jangle. Okay,
314
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:38,900
anything. Come on.
315
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,440
Wait,
316
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,840
wait, wait. Vern, you're playing in the
wrong key.
317
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,500
Me? You guys are off.
318
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,760
All right. Oscar, who was playing in the
wrong key? Yeah.
319
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,140
Sounded great to me.
320
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,160
Felix would know who's off.
321
00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,960
Oh, I sure miss Felix.
322
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:00,300
All right, we'll get him back.
323
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,260
How? Oh, play that.
324
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,720
Thunder the Pioneer song. The tumbling
weeds. What a tumbling tumbling weed.
325
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:06,780
Play that.
326
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,940
There they go rumbling down.
327
00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:18,220
Black angel off to the ground.
328
00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:23,220
There they go singing that song.
329
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:35,880
I'm sorry, Felix.
330
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:41,600
And... I'm sorry, Felix. Very good. You
were on the wrong key before, Bert. Yes.
331
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:42,820
All right.
332
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,980
That detestable mountain thing. Horns
up.
333
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:47,000
Con molto spirito.
334
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,020
She'll be coming round the mountain when
she comes. Yahoo!
335
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:56,120
She'll be coming round the mountain when
she comes. Yeah, yeah, go!
336
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,460
She'll be coming round the mountain.
She'll be coming round the mountain.
337
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,520
She'll be coming round the mountain when
she comes.
338
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:02,800
Woo!
339
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,320
Tumbling, tumbling, tumbling, tumbling.
340
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:31,820
Tumbling.
341
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,460
Red River Underground is tattled to us,
ladies and gentlemen.
342
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:37,740
You are.
343
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:39,860
Ah -ha!
344
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,040
Hey!
345
00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:46,040
Big fuzz, men.
346
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:47,660
Don't make one.
347
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,660
Oscar? Oscar.
348
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:55,520
Oscar. Hey, you're a big hit here, Red
River. I am in love with country music.
349
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:56,199
love it.
350
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,500
What? This coming from the leader of the
sophisticated?
351
00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:01,960
I love it. What can I tell you? Hey,
Billy Joe, having a good time? Hi there,
352
00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:04,100
partner. Pull up barrel and set spell.
353
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:06,860
Think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?
Not if it's in the can, it won't.
354
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:08,780
Oscar,
355
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:12,840
I got a hand of you, old boy. That band
is sharper than a cackle. Oh, it ain't
356
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,840
nothing.
357
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,880
Well, thank you, buddy. You really know
how to pay off on a poker debt.
358
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,520
What poker debt?
359
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,780
I think I'll mosey on down.
360
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:26,860
I told it right here. What poker day?
361
00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:30,460
Felix, why don't you play Tumbling
Tumbleweeds again? I love the way you do
362
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,040
and they go crazy. Dang the message.
363
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:32,919
What message?
364
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,080
You got into a great big poker game with
Billy Joe Grissom, didn't you? Yeah,
365
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,200
well, I went down there. Yeah, and you
lost your shirt, didn't you? Well, I
366
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,240
wasn't. Then you had the bright idea of
paying off with my band, right? What was
367
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,360
I going to do? I owed them $500.
368
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:48,500
You sold out the sophisticatos for $500
measly dollars? How low can you get?
369
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,380
Hey, Red River, I'm going to cool it
off, boy. Let's have a square dance.
370
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:56,070
Why don't you call the square dancer?
You could yell at me later, yeah?
371
00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,310
You call it. What?
372
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:02,590
You call it. It's your mess. You clean
it up for it. You clean it up for it.
373
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:03,569
clean it up for it. You clean it up for
it.
374
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,570
You clean it up for it. You clean it up
for it. You clean it up for it.
375
00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:25,560
Touch your toe. Shuffle up the buffalo.
376
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,740
Grab your bun and wrap your socks.
377
00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:30,720
A dozen bagels upon the lot. Save an
haircut.
378
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,080
Stupid.
379
00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:38,380
Hold it.
380
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:39,820
Hold it.
381
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,880
Now, what in thunder was that? I almost
choked on my garters on that last line,
382
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,580
boy. I'm sorry, Billy. You know, I think
it ought to take about $500 out of your
383
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,580
high.
384
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:57,340
That's crazy old and his bunkhouse
boomer. Let's hear it for him.
385
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,380
Okay, now we'll have the real bar dance.
You ready, fellas?
386
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,080
Thanks, Bill. Nothing to it, partner.
387
00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:06,460
Bow to your partners, coroners, all.
Wave to the pretty gal. Cross the hall.
388
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,060
Alleman, left with your left hand. Back
to your partner, right, left, right.
389
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:42,730
circle south. Let a little sunshine in
your mouth. Drop your hands and single
390
00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:44,950
file. Go back home Indian style.
391
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,690
One, two, three, four.
392
00:21:48,410 --> 00:21:50,290
When you get there, swing and whirl.
393
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,290
Swing and swing, that pretty little
girl.
394
00:21:59,470 --> 00:22:03,030
Okay, Oscar, show your style. Come on up
and dance a while.
395
00:22:03,290 --> 00:22:06,730
No, thank you. I'll stay right here. You
have fun. I'll drink my beer.
396
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,300
I know that you refuse to do -si -do.
397
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:13,260
Don't you squeal, I'll do my debts.
That's better than having...
398
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,500
Felix Red River hunger and his saddle
soars from high atop the beautiful Ritz
399
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:17,380
Towers overlooking Gotham by the sea,
asking the musical question, good night.
400
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:21,840
Now au revoir, a bit of a tweet tweet, a
bit of a toodle doodle, bon cheerio.
401
00:23:41,550 --> 00:23:45,110
I should be angry at you, but I had so
much fun, I can't be. Look, there's just
402
00:23:45,110 --> 00:23:46,049
one more thing.
403
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,310
Don't let the band pack up. Billy Joe
wants to sing one song.
404
00:23:49,070 --> 00:23:50,090
Is there no end?
405
00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:53,370
Is there no end? How long does it take
to sing one of those songs? Everything
406
00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:54,370
will be all right. Come on.
31762
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.