Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:03,830
Okay, Mario, I'm all packed.
2
00:00:06,470 --> 00:00:07,510
Packed yourself, huh?
3
00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:10,270
Hey, hey, Rome sticker.
4
00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:12,270
When did you get to Rome?
5
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:15,110
I didn't. I went to Chicago. My bag went
to Rome.
6
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,830
I hope you and your bag make it to
Hollywood.
7
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:22,970
It wouldn't look good for a movie star
to be without clothes. What movie star?
8
00:00:22,970 --> 00:00:26,310
Now, I'm only doing a cameo role. A few
lines. They went authentically.
9
00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:27,790
Sportswriters that play themselves.
10
00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:31,110
Dan Jenkins, the famous sportswriter,
he's playing himself, too. Oh, yeah.
11
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,160
You forgot to pack handkerchiefs. No, I
packed one.
12
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,040
He's taking one hanky to Hollywood.
13
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,640
I'm only taking one nose.
14
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,820
You see the way he packed?
15
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,080
Look at that bag.
16
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,040
Did you try to fold your clothes?
17
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,000
Yeah. Yeah, I forgot my ticket.
18
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:55,100
Better check your room, see if there's
anything else you forgot before I have
19
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,600
board it up. When Crazy Roderick gets
here, tell him I'll be right back, okay?
20
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,580
He's going to Hollywood with crazy Rhoda
Zimmerman?
21
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,880
Studios sent him two tickets. So he's
picking her as his private secretary.
22
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:14,300
You think you'll ever get to Hollywood,
Felix? Hollywood. It's the last place I
23
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,139
want to go.
24
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:19,420
Land of sham, pretense, plastic people.
25
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:22,940
Yes?
26
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,100
I'm Rhoda Zimmerman's sister.
27
00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:28,000
And she ain't going no place, no time
with nobody.
28
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,400
She's at home, chained to the radiator.
29
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,360
You want to have some fun? Don't count
on the Zimmermans.
30
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,100
Oh.
31
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,440
That crazy Rhoda, she always does
something like this at the last minute
32
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,440
every trip.
33
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:46,820
I guess you just stuck with an extra
ticket, Oscar. Yeah, but I don't want to
34
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:48,120
alone. I wonder who I should take.
35
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:49,820
I'd go with you.
36
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,780
I'm a policeman, and I can't shirk my
duties. My place is here on the streets
37
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:55,780
New York.
38
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:57,460
Protecting the... Who asked you?
39
00:01:58,140 --> 00:01:59,140
Think of a girl.
40
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,820
Trouble is all the girls I think of.
You've got to give at least an hour's
41
00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:03,820
notice.
42
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:07,460
Maybe I'll meet somebody nice on
standby, okay? You go get the car. Okay.
43
00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:08,980
So long, buddy.
44
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:10,460
Bye, Oscar.
45
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,300
Have a nice trip.
46
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:15,820
I know you'll be wonderful.
47
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,820
Oh, please take me with you. Please.
48
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:22,320
My life is so boring here. I'm crazy
about Hollywood. I'm dying to meet Rona
49
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,860
Barrett. Oh, please, please, please take
me with you.
50
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:26,960
Why didn't you say something before?
51
00:02:27,870 --> 00:02:28,910
I have my pride.
52
00:04:21,419 --> 00:04:25,100
Look at that.
53
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,620
My feet are the same size as my hands.
54
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,520
Oh, there's his profile.
55
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,860
Put my picture with my face in it.
56
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,720
People think you're in New York. Why
not? Will you get up? Come on.
57
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,360
Is my face in there? Yes.
58
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,180
Is my nose in his nose?
59
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,880
Yes. Is my hair in his hair?
60
00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:45,300
Yes. Good.
61
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:46,940
Take it.
62
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,500
You've got your hat in front of it.
63
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:52,760
Okay. Now, you get down. I'll take your
picture.
64
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,280
I'm not going to put my face down there.
65
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,220
You're no fun on the trip.
66
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,340
Map to the stars.
67
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,040
Map to the stars.
68
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,660
Hey, we'll take two.
69
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,500
Who buys these mostly?
70
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,120
Bergler.
71
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:19,200
This is Toluca Lake, so he's got to be
around here. Look, it's got Helen, 12
72
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,920
Threes, Wallace, Beer. How old is this?
No, no, you look for a street.
73
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,260
You never would find it. Look, there he
is. Where? There he is.
74
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:28,580
There's Bob Hope.
75
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:29,920
Right there.
76
00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:33,200
Excuse me. What are you doing? Mr. Hope.
Mr. Hope.
77
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,420
Hi.
78
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,980
We just got here from New York.
79
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,360
Relative? No, we're tourists.
80
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:40,490
Hope we're not regular tourists.
81
00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:43,930
My name is Felix Unger. This is Oscar
Madison. I couldn't find you on the map.
82
00:05:44,170 --> 00:05:45,170
Good, good.
83
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:49,030
You take out your own garbage, Mr.
Holmes? Well, I usually have a gift
84
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,830
Isn't that marvelous?
85
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:54,590
You have a funny joke ready for every
situation, haven't you? I have large
86
00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:55,590
garbage piles.
87
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,450
Could I have a piece of your garbage as
a souvenir?
88
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:00,330
Would you like the name for us first?
89
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:04,490
No, just an... Oh, an orange peel. That
would just be perfect. Thank you so very
90
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,490
much. Well, Crosby just squeezed those.
91
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:10,930
If you find autographing it, people will
never believe, they'll never believe in
92
00:06:10,930 --> 00:06:12,670
a million years that I got this from
you. Yeah.
93
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,930
Isn't that wonderful? It's just like
ordinary people.
94
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:20,570
Oh, thank you so very, very much. Sorry,
would you mind taking a picture with
95
00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:22,630
us? Not at all. I don't have my camera.
Do you have a camera?
96
00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:26,770
Next time.
97
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:30,450
I gotta get a dog.
98
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,650
Garbage! But the garbage!
99
00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:36,370
Dog!
100
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:37,920
Wow.
101
00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:40,040
Okay, imagine. Bob Hope.
102
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,259
Who's next?
103
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,560
Me. I want to go back to the hotel where
I can look at the pretty girls around
104
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,179
the pool.
105
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:46,039
All right.
106
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,040
I'll go shopping.
107
00:07:05,070 --> 00:07:08,730
in a million years guess whom I just saw
in the lobby of this hotel standing not
108
00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:09,870
two feet from me. Who?
109
00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:11,650
Cuffee Crab.
110
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:16,970
Who? Buster Crab's son, Cuffee. He was
standing right there.
111
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,270
I couldn't have touched him. He was
buying shampoo just like a regular
112
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:24,670
son. I got his autograph anyway. Oh,
Oscar, I'll never be able to thank you
113
00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:26,810
enough for bringing me here. It's the
most... Guess!
114
00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:31,330
Guess what's going to happen right
outside our balcony in 30 minutes.
115
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:32,750
Cuffee's going to wash his hair.
116
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:39,130
stay walks her dog. Felix, you've got to
stop being so crazy and starstruck
117
00:07:39,130 --> 00:07:42,190
buying maps of movie stars' homes. I'm
here on business, remember?
118
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:43,369
Ah, ah.
119
00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:44,730
I've got to talk to you about that.
What?
120
00:07:45,270 --> 00:07:50,690
I also found out that when Dan Jenkins
was here for his cameo, the studio got
121
00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:53,190
him a bungalow with a sauna and a bar.
122
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,450
That's great for them.
123
00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:55,570
Well, of course it's great.
124
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,610
You've just got an ordinary room.
125
00:07:57,830 --> 00:08:01,570
Well, nice. Well, look, I'm sure it's
only an oversight. Look, I'm not a
126
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:04,660
troublemaker. But if the studio knew
about it... No, no, no, no, no. Don't
127
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:08,100
call the studio. I'm very happy with
what I got. Please, one little call. I
128
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:09,100
a good view of the diagram.
129
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,500
You don't understand.
130
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:11,759
J .B.
131
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,360
Hofstetter, the head of the studio, just
called me, see?
132
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,100
Everything is terrific. I told him I'm
very happy with what I got. J .B.
133
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:21,520
Hofstetter called you? He wanted to make
sure that I had the script and I told
134
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:22,780
him I did have it. Then it's official.
135
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,860
Yeah. You're in flick. That's right,
buddy.
136
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,800
You're on your way. Let me see. When do
we go to the studio?
137
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,020
No, we don't go to the studio.
138
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,439
Why? Why?
139
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,440
We're going on location.
140
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:37,700
Oh, that's much better. That's authentic
then. I like that. Let me see the...
141
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,480
Home run killer. Home run killer. Isn't
that good?
142
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:43,240
Yes. Wait, wait till you see the part.
Let me see the part.
143
00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:48,600
Here it is. See, I go in and I say, tell
us about your career, slugger. Yeah,
144
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,400
yeah. And then, oh, there it is.
145
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,760
Thanks for the interview.
146
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,080
That's it?
147
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,120
They can't treat you this way.
148
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,680
You're a New York actor.
149
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:04,900
Felix, I'm a New York sports columnist.
I don't care how many lines they give
150
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,060
me. This whole thing is a lark.
151
00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:07,340
Oscar, baby.
152
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,880
Don't let these showbiz heavies push you
around. If you're scared, you're going
153
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,700
to be washed up in the business. I'm not
scared.
154
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:16,879
You're not? No.
155
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,920
Okay, tell me your part. Do it for me.
Oh, come on. Do it for me. I want to
156
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:20,599
rehearse you.
157
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,600
See what you've got now.
158
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:26,880
How are you going to do it? Tell us
about your career, slugger. No, wait.
159
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,240
I'll do it better.
160
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,290
Tell us about your career, Slugger.
161
00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:34,270
Tell us about your career, Slugger.
162
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,330
Hey, Slugger, tell us about your career.
163
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:42,470
Hey, Slugger, you better tell us about
your career. You understand, Slugger?
164
00:09:42,570 --> 00:09:45,170
They're going to weigh talent like that.
165
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:03,850
The locker room clean was kind of
choppy, so I padded the part of the New
166
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:04,789
sports writer.
167
00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:05,950
I gave him another two pages.
168
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:09,690
That's going to mean an extra day's
shooting. We'll have to give Madison
169
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:11,890
money. Yeah, what do you think we should
give him? What?
170
00:10:14,770 --> 00:10:15,770
Yeah?
171
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:17,310
Who?
172
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,270
Felix Unger?
173
00:10:20,910 --> 00:10:22,830
I don't know any Felix Unger. What does
he do?
174
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:26,910
Oh, Oscar Madison's agent. Good.
175
00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:31,060
Well... Settle this matter right now.
Send him in, Pam.
176
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,040
Madison's got an agent?
177
00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:35,820
Not funny.
178
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,160
I know. He's going to want $1 ,000 more.
179
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,200
I'll try to get it for $500.
180
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:46,720
All right.
181
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:50,340
J .B.
182
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:54,980
J .B.
183
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,400
My client is not happy.
184
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:02,440
Now, person to person.
185
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,840
Man to man.
186
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,540
Agent to mogul.
187
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:06,860
Captain?
188
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:38,740
David, what?
189
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:42,480
Felix, don't tell me that after what I
said to you, you had the nerve, the
190
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,500
audacity to go down to that studio and
embarrass me. Don't tell me that you
191
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,620
down and what did you do?
192
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,880
You got me two extra pages of dialogue?
193
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,540
Not only that, I conned them into giving
you more money.
194
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,120
I got another $50 out of it.
195
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:35,900
This is the location they wanted.
196
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,720
They're going to shoot here. Let's not
gripe. When Dan Jenkins went on his
197
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,070
location, the studio sent him in an air
-conditioned limousine. They did? You're
198
00:12:42,070 --> 00:12:45,070
darn right they did. Are you sure? Of
course I'm sure.
199
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:46,730
It's just plain unfair.
200
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:50,130
Oh, cut it out. Look, all right, Felix,
you got me some extra money, you got me
201
00:12:50,130 --> 00:12:52,750
a few extra lines, let's not press the
lock. I just don't like it. I'm happy
202
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:53,669
with what I'm doing.
203
00:12:53,670 --> 00:12:56,830
Hey, everyone, we ship this sequence
tomorrow. Let's get the rehearsal going.
204
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:58,910
Have you got the sports register?
205
00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,210
Here you are, Mr. Lennox.
206
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:01,570
Oh, yeah, Madison.
207
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,810
Madison! Right here.
208
00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:07,070
Are you Madison?
209
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:09,650
No, I'm Felix Unger. I'm Oscar Madison's
agent.
210
00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:14,810
I'm Oscar Madison. How are you? You look
like a sports writer. Thank you. Griff,
211
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:16,750
I want you to meet our star.
212
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:20,030
Yes. Griff Lockwood. This is Oscar
Madison.
213
00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:22,750
He's the one who does the interviews.
214
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:24,210
Very nice to meet you.
215
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,370
Nice to meet you, Oscar.
216
00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:30,590
I'm a big fan of yours. And I'm a big
fan of yours.
217
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,610
Griff Lockwood.
218
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:33,970
Oh, look.
219
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:37,570
I saw you in Hotel Romp.
220
00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:39,970
That's the one he made with Ron DeBisk.
221
00:13:40,430 --> 00:13:43,830
Tell me, when you were shooting that,
was there something between you and
222
00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:44,830
Rhonda?
223
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,270
Are you in the picture?
224
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:48,590
No. Good.
225
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,350
Call when you're ready.
226
00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:52,890
Fred, Fred, you're a married man.
227
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:56,490
Bad enough you read every gossip column
in the world, do you have to believe
228
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,090
them? Where there's smoke, there's fire.
229
00:13:58,330 --> 00:14:01,030
So suppose you had a little thing going
with Rhonda, will you forget it?
230
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:04,690
Sure, we can forget it, but Kenneth's
wife, lovely Helen Lockwood, driven to
231
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:07,850
drink by the uncaring extramarital
antics of Hollywood's most famous star?
232
00:14:08,370 --> 00:14:11,020
Will you cut it out? That was Rona's
biggest scoop.
233
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,000
Okay, let's go over the line. Get
Griff's standard.
234
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,280
Get Griff's standard.
235
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,280
Excuse me just a moment, Oscar.
236
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:18,660
Talk to me now.
237
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,700
Look, if you're going to use Griff's
standard, don't you think you ought to
238
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,380
Oscar's? He doesn't have a standard.
239
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:28,660
Oh, he doesn't have a standard.
240
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:32,600
What time does Mr. Madison have to be at
work tomorrow?
241
00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:34,820
Six o 'clock.
242
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:36,640
In the morning?
243
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:48,080
Oh, no, I don't like that. Look, I'm
perfectly willing to work these things
244
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,520
reasonably with you people, but don't
push Oscar Madison, the man, to lunatic.
245
00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:53,240
One word and he goes like that.
246
00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:54,760
He's a walking volcano.
247
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,380
The man slapped Fellini. What can I tell
you?
248
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,660
He slapped Fellini.
249
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,040
Well, Mr. Unger, I think I understand.
250
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,080
I knew I could talk to you. Just let me
make one telephone call to take care of
251
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,080
the whole thing.
252
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:12,220
While you're at it, it might be a good
idea.
253
00:15:12,990 --> 00:15:15,450
You get him a trailer. I think he'd like
that. A trailer? Yeah.
254
00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:16,770
Something nice.
255
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:21,070
Also, a golf cart. Take him to and from.
I think that would be the right thing.
256
00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:22,090
A golf cart.
257
00:15:22,230 --> 00:15:25,050
Susan, get me that sports writer from
Chicago.
258
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:26,650
I'm firing Madison.
259
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,210
You tell him.
260
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:37,390
Look, this is what they want me to wear.
Tell them what you think.
261
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:39,630
What's the matter?
262
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,200
What's the matter? What is it?
263
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:51,340
Why am I fired? Oscar, you don't know
this town.
264
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,820
Parole? Hollywood, the whole business.
265
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,240
I asked for a stand -in for you. I asked
for a dressing room. I suggest that you
266
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,060
don't have to get up so early in the
morning. I didn't care about those
267
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:02,860
Now you tell me!
268
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,520
The joke's really on that studio, isn't
it?
269
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:24,660
They bring us all the way out here to
California, all expenses paid, and then
270
00:16:24,660 --> 00:16:25,880
they don't use us in the picture.
271
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,480
Look, there'll be other opportunities.
272
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,920
Why should we have regrets?
273
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,420
Look at the 12 new clothes I got.
274
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,180
Saw Doris Day's dog.
275
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,220
What would you be doing in New York now?
276
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,390
unchaining crazy Rhoda Zimmerman.
277
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:55,170
Look, I... I sense that you're a little
down about this.
278
00:16:57,130 --> 00:17:00,450
I can understand that. You're the kind
of fellow who's easily depressed, but
279
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:02,030
don't let things bother you.
280
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:03,549
Bounce back.
281
00:17:03,550 --> 00:17:04,550
Shrug them off. I do.
282
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:06,930
Come on, let's see a smile.
283
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:08,690
A grin.
284
00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:10,349
A smirk.
285
00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:19,490
Desperate times call for desperate
measures.
286
00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:25,210
Time I go down to that studio and force
their hand.
287
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:31,370
When I get through with them, you're not
only going to have your part back, but
288
00:17:31,370 --> 00:17:33,110
you're going to have another raise.
289
00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:34,830
Fair enough?
290
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:36,770
Shake.
291
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:40,650
You got a deal.
292
00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:06,270
A sports writer from Chicago was so glad
he got the party dropped dead.
293
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:13,070
I gotta have Madison back. I got no
choice.
294
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:17,910
Pam, send in Unger.
295
00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:29,330
Now listen to me, J .B., and listen
good.
296
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:31,450
Okay, Madison's back in the picture.
297
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:51,030
constructive criticism, J .B.? You need
more backbone. You're a... You're pretty
298
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,130
much of a marshmallow, fella.
299
00:18:55,370 --> 00:18:56,950
Let me roll all over you then.
300
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,650
I can tell you now, I was ready to
squirm five more minutes and you'd have
301
00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:02,650
me on my knees.
302
00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:05,870
You've got a tough enough guy or people
will walk all over you.
303
00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:07,170
Will you get out of here?
304
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:19,350
I'll show them how it's done.
305
00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:20,610
Places, everybody.
306
00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:21,810
Great delay.
307
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,390
Grip, good luck in the sea.
308
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:26,450
Home wrecker.
309
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:31,970
Do you mind if I have my chair? If I do
anything wrong, please let me know,
310
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,850
okay? Because it's all new to me. Oscar,
you're going to be sensational.
311
00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:36,970
We're ready for the mayor. Your Honor?
312
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:38,570
The mayor?
313
00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:40,550
Yeah, the mayor of Perron.
314
00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:44,510
He wouldn't give us a shooting permit,
so I'll let him join the crew.
315
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:47,350
Your Honor?
316
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,720
Roll camera.
317
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,640
Muppet.
318
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,640
And action.
319
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,520
Tell us about your career, partner.
320
00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:08,560
Now, Oscar, don't rush the line.
321
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,679
Take your time.
322
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,220
Start from the beginning. We're still
rolling.
323
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:12,780
Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous.
324
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:13,980
Take it easy.
325
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,780
Tell us about your career, Felix.
326
00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:17,620
See, it's your fault. From the
beginning.
327
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,540
Tell us about your career, slugger.
328
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:24,020
Well, it all started when I... Ow!
329
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,199
Oh, stop!
330
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:25,979
I'm sorry.
331
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:29,600
I didn't mean to step on it. I stepped
on it. I'm sorry. He tripped you? All
332
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:30,860
right, I... No trip.
333
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,640
Art the Preacher did that to Shirley
Temple.
334
00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:37,760
Gentlemen, if we can, from the top,
we're still rolling.
335
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,640
Tell us about your career, slugger.
336
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:43,140
Well, it all started when I tried out
for the minor league team.
337
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:44,980
The Fort Worth Blues.
338
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,940
How old were you then?
339
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,400
I was 17.
340
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:49,940
And how old are you now?
341
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:51,760
22.
342
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:58,360
Well, I was very green then, but I
finally made the team. I made the team,
343
00:20:58,640 --> 00:20:59,640
It must have been quite a struggle.
344
00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:00,679
Oh, it was.
345
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,020
It was a real struggle.
346
00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:03,720
Hand me my shirt, will you, please?
347
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:28,610
You saved that scene. The scene needed a
laugh.
348
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:33,910
You added three feet. Three moves. You
go rest, baby. You loosen up and rest.
349
00:21:33,970 --> 00:21:34,970
I've talked to the biggies.
350
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:36,290
What are we going to do?
351
00:21:36,610 --> 00:21:38,030
J .B., this is impossible.
352
00:21:38,270 --> 00:21:40,750
No, no, no. He'll get the hang of it.
Did you get somebody else?
353
00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:45,310
No, don't do that. I don't want to
postpone the scene. We're all fed up
354
00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:48,510
you replace him, it has to be here and
now. No, don't. Please. I beg of you.
355
00:21:48,550 --> 00:21:51,970
He'll get good. We've got an hour to get
another actor up here from L .A.
356
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:56,430
But, gee, I wish we had somebody here
who could... Step in who knew the lines.
357
00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:57,630
I do.
358
00:21:58,810 --> 00:22:00,250
What? I know all the lines.
359
00:22:00,910 --> 00:22:02,810
You can try it. Okay. Try it.
360
00:22:04,110 --> 00:22:05,110
Oscar!
361
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:06,450
Yeah?
362
00:22:07,670 --> 00:22:10,630
Baby, you're out of the flick.
363
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:12,830
What happened?
364
00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:14,250
They're going for a younger man.
365
00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:19,810
I fought like a banshee for you, but
they wouldn't listen to me.
366
00:22:20,230 --> 00:22:21,550
Who'd they get to replace me?
367
00:22:22,070 --> 00:22:24,090
Give me your hat and your pad and wish
me luck.
368
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,840
Tell me about your career, Slugger.
369
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:42,080
Well, it all started when I tried out
for this team, the minor league team,
370
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,019
Worth Blues.
371
00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:43,899
Fort Worth?
372
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,440
Yeah. That's in Texas.
373
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,480
Hot wind.
374
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,400
Bleeding sun.
375
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,860
How old were you then?
376
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,620
I was 17.
377
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:56,700
A boy in a man's game.
378
00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:11,230
It was a struggle, yeah. You grew up in
a grimy little cabin in the middle of
379
00:23:11,230 --> 00:23:12,590
the Texas panhandle.
380
00:23:13,710 --> 00:23:15,130
No heat, no food.
381
00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:18,370
For breakfast, you had to suck on a
piece of cactus.
382
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:23,870
You never had a toy to play with. You
never had a pair of brown and white
383
00:23:24,030 --> 00:23:26,030
You never even took violin lessons.
384
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:30,070
But you knew that you wanted to play
baseball.
385
00:23:30,290 --> 00:23:31,830
You couldn't afford any equipment.
386
00:23:32,190 --> 00:23:35,650
So you made a catcher's mitt out of a
satin pillow reed.
387
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,980
Greetings from Yellowstone Post.
388
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,380
acting I've ever seen in my entire life,
and I appreciate it. But it worked. I
389
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:18,000
told you Unger had a plan. I killed the
hour. Now they've got to use you. You
390
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,000
know, I can't figure you out.
391
00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:22,440
One minute you're driving me up the
wall, the next minute you do a crazy,
392
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,540
beautiful thing like this. You're a
worse pimp than Crazy Rhoda.
393
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,800
Well, don't spread it around that I'm a
nice guy. It'll kill me in the business.
394
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:33,800
Here you go, baby.
395
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,019
All yours.
396
00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:36,020
Take a break.
397
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,020
Madison? Yeah? Out of the way, please.
398
00:24:40,110 --> 00:24:41,110
Who's going to play the reporter?
399
00:24:41,510 --> 00:24:42,510
None of your business.
400
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:15,020
I dreamed the movie came out and you
were such a smash in it. They put your
401
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:19,840
handprint in Grauman's Chinese. I never
got in the picture, remember? I know, I
402
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,560
know, but I won't rest until I see your
handprint.
29758
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.