All language subtitles for The Odd Couple s04e08

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,449 --> 00:00:07,449 Thank you. 2 00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:14,230 Take me, Morgan, ladies and gentlemen. 3 00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:20,670 Hi, come on in. Miss Morgan will be here in a minute. Thank you. 4 00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:22,110 Come on. Look. 5 00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:25,170 Isn't this beautiful? Stars dressing room. Wow. 6 00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:30,650 Boy, I'm really impressed with you, boy. 7 00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,250 A date with J .P. Morgan? 8 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:36,290 Wow. It's a giant step up from Crazy Rhoda Zimmerman, I'll tell you that. 9 00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:39,010 Now, if you wanted to meet her, I'm going to introduce you, then you're 10 00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:40,890 take a giant step out of here, right? Right. Okay. 11 00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:42,870 Well, bold him again. 12 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,690 Oh, you sang great tonight. 13 00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:47,910 Thank you. You know my manager, Bernie Morty, don't you? 14 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:51,910 Delighted. Oh, I'd like you to meet Miriam Welby, J .P. Morgan. Oh, I loved 15 00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:56,790 show. Felix, I'm J .P. Morgan. Miss Morgan, you were just, just marvelous. 16 00:00:56,790 --> 00:01:00,710 absolutely marvelous. A flawless performance. You're a total pro. Just... 17 00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:03,250 Oh, you were disappointed, weren't you? 18 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,390 He doesn't understand your kind of humor. 19 00:01:06,590 --> 00:01:07,970 Oh, I'm sorry. I was just kidding. 20 00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:11,470 Now, make yourselves at home. I'm going to change, okay? Thank you. Thank you. 21 00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:16,370 How are you doing? You did make yourself at home? 22 00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:20,890 Here's a cap of this. Here it is. Now, leave everything alone, will you? Just 23 00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:21,890 straighten yourself. 24 00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:22,950 Oh, 25 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,350 look at the albums over there on the table. Oh, boy. 26 00:01:26,810 --> 00:01:27,810 Yeah. 27 00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:29,330 Hey, excuse me, sweetheart. 28 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:31,920 Well, it's how I got along, honey. 29 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,259 Good show. 30 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,300 Thanks. Listen, I'll see you later. By the way, is everything set for Vegas? 31 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,540 Yeah. Say, but what do you say we add one more up to? 32 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,680 Something we've never done before. Something fresh, huh? Okay. 33 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,080 Delighted. 34 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,760 Thank him for it. 35 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,119 Did you hear that? 36 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,120 What? 37 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:52,280 What Mr. Morty said. 38 00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:54,540 Delighted. 39 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:56,700 What he said before that. 40 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:57,878 Oh, what did he say? 41 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,600 He said you should add an up to. 42 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,240 So? How does a big singer like that find new tunes? 43 00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:06,640 I guess where she finds the old tunes, from a professional songwriter. 44 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,880 New kid just can't get a break. 45 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,200 The Odd Couple was filmed in front of a live audience. 46 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,320 You're not a new kid. 47 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:45,560 You're old enough to be a professional, but you're not. Now, forget it, Felix. I 48 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:50,160 wasn't talking about me. I wrote that hit song in the army. Oh, not the army 49 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,160 song. 50 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:54,840 It's up. 51 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,860 It's up, boy. It's an up tune. It's up. 52 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,020 Would you mind handing me my beige shoes, please? Okay. 53 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:02,870 Good choice. 54 00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:09,630 Let's hit Hitler where he lives. 55 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:15,310 And America never forgets. I wrote this song in the army. I won the silver 56 00:04:15,310 --> 00:04:16,310 canteen for it. 57 00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:19,829 Let's force him to surrender. 58 00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:22,910 The gold canteen was won by interferers' face. 59 00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,270 In incendiary slander. 60 00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:29,050 Let's hit Hitler where he lives. 61 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,280 It's called To a Sauerkraut. 62 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,880 Felix, Germany isn't our enemy anymore. 63 00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:38,480 What a waste of a good song. 64 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,320 I just wanted to show you a tune. 65 00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:44,100 And now, Felix, we're going to leave. Yeah, yeah. Felix, it was wonderful 66 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:47,120 meeting you. I hope I see you again soon. Thank you. And keep writing those 67 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,520 tunes. I will. I won't let you down. I promise you. We're going to be a smash 68 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,520 Vegas. 69 00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:54,400 I really like him. He's cute. 70 00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:13,610 new song for J .P. Morgan, but that great old tune of mine is so catchy, it 71 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,690 keeps going through my mind. 72 00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:20,890 Maybe I could modernize it. 73 00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:23,450 Let's kiss Kissinger where he lives. 74 00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:29,890 Can't you kiss Kissinger some other place some other time? 75 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:32,670 I'll just have to work this out for myself. I'm not going to bother you. I'm 76 00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:33,670 going to work softly. 77 00:05:33,970 --> 00:05:36,110 You can help me by fighting softly. 78 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,640 is J .P. Moore. 79 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:45,840 Happy and peppy. 80 00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:47,860 Now write a happy and peppy song. 81 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:51,240 Now what word suggests happy and peppy? 82 00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:53,300 Happy and peppy. 83 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,280 Happy and peppy what? 84 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,480 Bernstein. 85 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,480 Happy and peppy Bernstein. 86 00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:07,140 No, no. It's got nothing to do with you. He's the manager of the fighter I'm 87 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:08,160 writing about. What's the fighter's name? 88 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:09,480 Jojo Luft. 89 00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:17,730 And bursting with love. 90 00:06:18,370 --> 00:06:19,630 That's going to work. 91 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,830 That's going to work. 92 00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:27,150 Happy and happy and bursting with love. 93 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,360 That's fresh. 94 00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:59,720 from both nostrils at the sound of the bell. 95 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,900 Can you use that, Mozart? 96 00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:04,679 The bell? 97 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:05,860 I can use the bell. 98 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,160 I'm gonna answer when I hear the bell. 99 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,700 Happy, precocious, and swell. 100 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,320 I finished the song all by myself, and you helped. 101 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,200 You want your name on it? No, no, you can keep all the glory. I only write 102 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,200 as a hobby. 103 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,279 J .P. Moore. 104 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,280 Here we go again. 105 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:41,960 Quiet in the studio, please. Quiet, quiet, quiet. 106 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,360 Tape is rolling. 107 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,960 To be or not to be. 108 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,800 That is the question. 109 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:49,840 Testing. Testing. 110 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,640 Good. Where's Oscar? 111 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,240 Oscar! 112 00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,940 Oscar! Pilot to tower. Pilot to tower. 113 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:04,280 You should know this was your idea. 114 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,120 It was my idea to turn my living room into a cocktail lounge? 115 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,640 I'm acting like a professional. We're making a professional demo tape. 116 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,740 When you hear it, you'll take it with pride, J .P. Morgan, and say, here is a 117 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:16,740 professional song. 118 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,460 This is a professional rock group? 119 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,960 What's their names? The No Dimensions? 120 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:24,360 Don't kid around. These are very accomplished people. 121 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,360 Miriam studied bass as an adult. 122 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,220 You've heard Murray on guitar. 123 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,800 Luciano. 124 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,880 On piano, we've got me. 125 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,380 And you're my tambourine man. 126 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:49,940 Come on. I don't know how to play this thing. It's okay, 127 00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:52,000 Oscar. I'm faking it. I just know how to spin it. 128 00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,980 Yeah, it'll be a gas gigging with you, Oscar. 129 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:59,060 What did you say about Lingo? Oh, we busted a rock group last week. 130 00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:05,350 You just follow me. You're the percussion section. 131 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:07,570 You feel it. You feel it. Now, is everybody set? 132 00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,650 Quiet in the studio, please. 133 00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:15,290 Take. Take is rolling. 134 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:22,070 Happy and Peppy and Bursting with Love by Felix Unger. Take one. 135 00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:42,450 You put in accents and not the whole thing. Mishmash. I don't have accents. 136 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,210 Happy. Like that. 137 00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:47,110 You want me to hit it? You underline the word. Quiet the studio, please. 138 00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:49,110 Tape. Tape is rolling. 139 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,850 Happy and Peppy. 140 00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:51,890 Take two. 141 00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:55,710 Happy and Peppy. 142 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:57,990 I'm doing it again. 143 00:10:58,310 --> 00:10:59,310 I hit it. 144 00:10:59,430 --> 00:11:02,690 You told me to hit it and I hit it. You hit it after Happy. You didn't hit it 145 00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:05,690 after Peppy. You didn't tell me to hit it after Peppy. Happy and Peppy and 146 00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:08,230 bursting with love. You went too after love. Tell me. 147 00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,430 This is a demo, boy. This is professional. 148 00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:18,810 This is the only thing she's going to hear. It's got to be perfect. 149 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:22,650 Yeah, this could mean a lot of money to us, Oscar. You know how much our rock 150 00:11:22,650 --> 00:11:24,690 group that we busted made on just one song? 151 00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:26,049 How much? 152 00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:28,010 A quarter of a million dollars. 153 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:29,890 Just four guys who met in jail. 154 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:35,970 A quarter of a million dollars? Yeah, it happens all the time. Overnight 155 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:39,510 millionaires. I turned down the biggest bribe of my career. 156 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,060 Felix Unger and Oscar Madison. 157 00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:42,460 Wolfman Jack is the biggest disc jockey in the country, and he's a friend. 158 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,680 I want his professional opinion. If he likes it, I'll bring it to Jay. And let 159 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,060 me do the talking. If you need any help, give me a cue. 160 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,680 Yeah, if you see me drop my pants and do the funky chicken, that's your cue. 161 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,900 I appreciate you taking the trouble to listen to our song. Oh, it's the Wolfman 162 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:14,580 Good Vibes Offensive. You understand? 163 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:17,620 He's my partner, Felix. I know he's got the music with him. Give it to him, 164 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:18,680 Felix. 165 00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:19,740 Give it to him. 166 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,500 Get down. It's your bad son. 167 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,440 Good. 168 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:31,800 He's your partner. 169 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,680 Mr. Wolfe, we know you're busy, so we'll just leave the music, okay? Well, 170 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,860 listen, I dig the table. I will definitely listen to the tapes. And your 171 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:43,200 leisure, of course. Definitely, definitely. We just want you to know 172 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,700 cognizant of your position as arbiter of taste for the younger generation. 173 00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,820 Most appreciative, sir. 174 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,080 What's he talking about? 175 00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:53,320 What's he talking about? Just leave the tapes, Felix. 176 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:56,540 Have you got a machine here? Are you going to take it into another room and 177 00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:57,540 listen in privacy? 178 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,400 I'll dig the tape, Mike. I'll dig the tape. 179 00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:03,420 Here's the sheet music in case you want to call along. Give me the tape. Give me 180 00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:04,420 the tape, yes. 181 00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:06,260 Wait, wait. Thank you. 182 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:19,020 Now, if you stand real close to your radio, the Wolfman is gonna inject a 183 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,060 boogie right into your ever -loving soul. 184 00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:25,680 Now, let's all ride the elephant of happiness through the jungle of love. 185 00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:30,120 Mama. If he read it like that, he would be unemployed. You gotta give it 186 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,400 feeling. You gotta move it. You gotta do the whole... Let me see. 187 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,380 Now, if you stand real close to the radio... 188 00:14:57,710 --> 00:14:58,710 I dig noises. 189 00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,150 Rasps. 190 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,290 Scratches. 191 00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:03,670 Screams in the night. You understand? 192 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:10,170 I mean, I dig noise, man. But there's something else. You brought me down. 193 00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:15,030 I mean, I haven't been this down since 1957. 194 00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:17,630 Later. 195 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:22,730 Right now, let's get rid of all the weird vibrations out in the... 196 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:31,960 Wolfman Cubs. 197 00:16:21,329 --> 00:16:22,550 Come on, please. 198 00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:25,910 J .P. Morgan's gonna be right in this room in a few minutes. Just show her the 199 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:26,910 song. No. 200 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,900 Oh, she's going to be here because I made a social date with her. I don't 201 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:31,540 the words music, records mentioned. 202 00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:32,900 In fact, I don't even want you here. 203 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,640 Can I meet the company at least? No, you can't. Please. No. 204 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,060 hors d 'oeuvres for you. It's not frozen. Made it myself. 205 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,560 Here. Excellent. 206 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,900 Liver pâté on potato chip egg. 207 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,040 No, thanks. I'll eat later. Oh, I'll even have you. How about you just help 208 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:23,858 yourself, okay? 209 00:17:23,859 --> 00:17:24,859 I'll put on some music. 210 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:42,910 Thursday. 211 00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:50,250 Comes this rare vintage wine from the jolly green French winery. 212 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:51,850 What do we drink to? 213 00:17:52,390 --> 00:17:53,850 A new record collection. 214 00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:58,270 I usually allow my guests to smell the cork. 215 00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:01,210 Well, I'll taste it. Most of it's in my glass anyway. 216 00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:17,880 That's where all the joke is. 217 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,560 Wait, 218 00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:29,420 wait a second. 219 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,720 Strange is coming out this year. Something else is coming out this year. 220 00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:38,660 Now shut off this year. No, no, no. It's kind of catchy. 221 00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:39,980 I like it. 222 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,660 at the words and the lyrics. 223 00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:49,980 Oh! 224 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,480 Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were here. 225 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,120 Sorry to interrupt. I was just rewinding a tape of Happy and Peppy and Bursting 226 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,960 with Love, that new hit song that's sweeping the country. 227 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:04,940 Buster told me he just wrote it. What? Is that a copy? Let me look at it. You 228 00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:07,320 see, Mr. Hammerstein? 229 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,700 This song is going to be big coin, Buster! 230 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:11,839 What's he doing? 231 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,000 I think he's putting his name on it. 232 00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:16,710 Well, if you want to hear it, it's right here on the cassette I've got to run 233 00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:19,190 along with. There it is, for your listening pleasure. You know how to work 234 00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:21,890 don't you? Just push the start button. That's right. Then you can push the stop 235 00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,970 button. We'll do it again. Okay, I'll leave you love, love, love. 236 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,170 Bye -bye. Bye -bye. 237 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,570 What a helpful little fellow. 238 00:19:27,930 --> 00:19:29,090 I trained him right, too. 239 00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:31,710 Get the music back on. 240 00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:35,450 Listen, I'm glad you like the music, but we'll talk about that later. 241 00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:36,650 Now, where were we? 242 00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,310 I think we were just going to dip. 243 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:39,790 Let's go, baby, and dip. 244 00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:12,590 One day a man could be a commercial photographer. 245 00:20:12,870 --> 00:20:13,870 Portraits especially. 246 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,630 Portraits especially. 247 00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:19,670 Or a sports writer. And the next day they could be the writer of a big hit 248 00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:21,730 Well, that's happened. 249 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:27,310 A sports writer and a commercial photographer collaborated on a song. 250 00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:30,050 they're here tonight. And if it doesn't embarrass you guys, stand up and take a 251 00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:31,050 bow. 252 00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:41,970 great star who took a chance on a couple of relative unknowns. 253 00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:44,250 It was my pleasure, really. It was her pleasure. Do you know that? 254 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:48,150 What other star would say that? Kate Smith, maybe. 255 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:54,210 Right now, I'd like to give you my rendition of their wonderful song called 256 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:56,970 Happy and Peppy and Bursting with Love. 257 00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:15,410 With love. 258 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:16,570 With love. 259 00:21:16,590 --> 00:21:17,670 With love. With love. With love. 260 00:21:18,050 --> 00:21:21,610 With love. With love. 261 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,170 With love. 262 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,460 Kate Smith interprets God Bless America? 263 00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,580 I wrote the song, we had a totally different concept. 264 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,200 After all, it's called Happy and Peppy, but you seem to love it, so I guess 265 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,280 that's the right way to do it. 266 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:22,960 and to surrender. 267 00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:28,300 An incendiary splendor. An incendiary splendor. 268 00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:35,360 Let's hit Hitler where he lives. 269 00:24:35,980 --> 00:24:37,640 Sketchy. Sketchy tune. 20155

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