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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:25,192 SONG: # Cue the pulse to begin 2 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,569 SONG: # Cue the pulse to begin 3 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:36,453 # Cue the pulse to begin 4 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,705 # Cue the pulse to begin 5 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:40,541 # Cue the pulse to begin 6 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,292 # Cue the pulse to begin 7 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:43,836 # Cue the pulse to begin. # 8 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,713 # Cue the pulse to begin. # 9 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:49,258 (Men grunt with exertion) CUTLERY CLATTERS 10 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:52,302 (Men grunt with exertion) CUTLERY CLATTERS 11 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:56,181 (Both grunt with exertion) 12 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,268 (Both grunt with exertion) 13 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:03,730 Oh, yeah. Fuck. 14 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,232 Oh, yeah. Fuck. 15 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:09,111 Oh, yeah. Come here. 16 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,196 Oh, yeah. Come here. 17 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:11,238 Come here, come here, come here. 18 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,699 Come here, come here, come here. 19 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:13,740 Yeah...yeah, come here. Yeah. 20 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,703 Yeah...yeah, come here. Yeah. 21 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:17,744 (Grunts with exertion) 22 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,329 (Grunts with exertion) 23 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:20,455 Yeah. Oh, that feel... 24 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,957 Yeah. Oh, that feel... 25 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:21,999 That feel good, baby? 26 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,542 That feel good, baby? 27 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:23,584 Yeah. That's it. Right there. Don't stop. 28 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,794 Yeah. That's it. Right there. Don't stop. 29 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:25,836 DOORBELL RINGS 30 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,546 DOORBELL RINGS 31 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:27,588 Right there. Don't stop. Just...don't stop. 32 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,007 Right there. Don't stop. Just...don't stop. 33 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:30,048 Just... Arggh! 34 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,550 Just... Arggh! 35 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:31,592 Keep going. I'm coming. Arggh! Yeah! 36 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,343 Keep going. I'm coming. Arggh! Yeah! 37 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:33,385 Oh! Oh, fuck! DOORBELL RINGS IMPATIENTLY 38 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:36,263 Oh! Oh, fuck! DOORBELL RINGS IMPATIENTLY 39 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:36,305 Oh...I'm coming. 40 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,890 Oh...I'm coming. 41 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:37,931 (Yells to the door) I'm coming! 42 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,725 (Yells to the door) I'm coming! 43 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:39,766 That's it. Come on. Oh, yeah. Come on! 44 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,312 That's it. Come on. Oh, yeah. Come on! 45 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:43,353 Oh...oh...OH! 46 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,231 Oh...oh...OH! 47 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:48,233 Hello, sir. 48 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,776 Hello, sir. 49 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:49,818 I'm Charlotte and this is Amanda, 50 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,528 I'm Charlotte and this is Amanda, 51 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:51,570 and we're here to talk to you about Proposition 14. 52 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,072 and we're here to talk to you about Proposition 14. 53 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:54,114 Are you aware of it? Yes, I'm aware of it. 54 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,658 Are you aware of it? Yes, I'm aware of it. 55 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:56,700 Good, then we needn't tell you how important it these days 56 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,494 Good, then we needn't tell you how important it these days 57 00:01:59,494 --> 00:01:59,536 to protect the holy bonds of matrimony and the American family. 58 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,623 to protect the holy bonds of matrimony and the American family. 59 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:02,664 Isn't that the God's honest truth? 60 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,833 Isn't that the God's honest truth? 61 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:04,875 Are you married? I most certainly am. 62 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,710 Are you married? I most certainly am. 63 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:06,752 In that case, we would love to speak with you and your wife. 64 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:10,088 In that case, we would love to speak with you and your wife. 65 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:10,130 Honey, there are some very sweet ladies here 66 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,008 Honey, there are some very sweet ladies here 67 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:13,050 urging us to support Proposition 14. 68 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,260 urging us to support Proposition 14. 69 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:16,386 Do you have children? A son and a daughter. 70 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,889 Do you have children? A son and a daughter. 71 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:18,931 Oh, that's wonderful. (Laughs) 72 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,682 Oh, that's wonderful. (Laughs) 73 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:20,724 (Laughs) Good afternoon, ladies. 74 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,351 (Laughs) Good afternoon, ladies. 75 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:22,392 This is my lawfully wedded husband. 76 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,019 This is my lawfully wedded husband. 77 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:24,061 And this is MY lawfully wedded husband. 78 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,104 And this is MY lawfully wedded husband. 79 00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:27,272 And we are going to do everything in our power 80 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,566 And we are going to do everything in our power 81 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:29,608 to defeat Proposition 14. 82 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,110 to defeat Proposition 14. 83 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:32,152 I see. (Clears throat) OK. 84 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,862 I see. (Clears throat) OK. 85 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:33,904 Well. Good afternoon, then. 86 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,447 Well. Good afternoon, then. 87 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:35,489 Hey, thanks for stopping by. We'll be sure to vote. 88 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,741 Hey, thanks for stopping by. We'll be sure to vote. 89 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:37,783 Bye-bye. 90 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,660 Bye-bye. 91 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:47,417 I caught that. 92 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,419 I caught that. 93 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:49,461 Caught what? 94 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,046 Caught what? 95 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:51,088 That subtle exchange of smiles that can indicate only one thing. 96 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:54,091 That subtle exchange of smiles that can indicate only one thing. 97 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:54,132 "Is your ass is as sore as mine?" 98 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,760 "Is your ass is as sore as mine?" 99 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:56,802 BRIAN: Fucking Christ, Theodore, 100 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,470 BRIAN: Fucking Christ, Theodore, 101 00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:58,512 is there anyone in this burg you haven't boned 102 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,305 is there anyone in this burg you haven't boned 103 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:00,347 since your extreme makeover? 104 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,974 since your extreme makeover? 105 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:02,057 Well, let's just say that if they don't get a fresh supply in soon, 106 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:05,644 Well, let's just say that if they don't get a fresh supply in soon, 107 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:05,686 I'll be forced to move to Philadelphia. 108 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,396 I'll be forced to move to Philadelphia. 109 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:09,439 You know, I always used to wonder what it would be like 110 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,984 You know, I always used to wonder what it would be like 111 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:12,025 to have any guy I wanted - now I know. 112 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,403 to have any guy I wanted - now I know. 113 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:14,444 And? 114 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,946 And? 115 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:15,988 And, it's, um...great. 116 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:20,284 And, it's, um...great. 117 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:20,325 Hey, look who it is! Michael! 118 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,077 Hey, look who it is! Michael! 119 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:23,787 Hey, Teddy. 120 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,414 Hey, Teddy. 121 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:25,497 Hey, Em. Hi, sweetie. 122 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,207 Hey, Em. Hi, sweetie. 123 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:28,584 Well, if you boys will excuse me, I have to get back to work. 124 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:31,795 Well, if you boys will excuse me, I have to get back to work. 125 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:35,757 Yeah...I've got to get back to the store. 126 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,926 Yeah...I've got to get back to the store. 127 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:41,471 Busy day? 128 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,098 Busy day? 129 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:43,140 Yeah, this comic book collection that I bought off eBay just arrived. 130 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,101 Yeah, this comic book collection that I bought off eBay just arrived. 131 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:46,143 It's going to take me weeks to inspect and grade them. 132 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,770 It's going to take me weeks to inspect and grade them. 133 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:48,812 Well, better have something to eat. What'll it be? 134 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,815 Well, better have something to eat. What'll it be? 135 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:51,857 I think I'll have... 136 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,817 I think I'll have... 137 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:53,859 Are you and Brian ever going to talk to each other again? 138 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,361 Are you and Brian ever going to talk to each other again? 139 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:56,403 Ma... Michael! 140 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,905 Ma... Michael! 141 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:57,946 You've been friends - brothers - since you were kids. 142 00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,991 You've been friends - brothers - since you were kids. 143 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:01,033 You love each other. 144 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,492 You love each other. 145 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:03,619 You're going to let a lifetime of fucking history go down the drain 146 00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:07,748 You're going to let a lifetime of fucking history go down the drain 147 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:07,789 'cause of some childish disagreement? 148 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,458 'cause of some childish disagreement? 149 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:09,499 And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. 150 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,002 And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. 151 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:12,044 It's not childish, and it's not just a disagreement. 152 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:15,589 It's not childish, and it's not just a disagreement. 153 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:15,631 He disrespects every choice I have made. 154 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,091 He disrespects every choice I have made. 155 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:18,133 He mocks me for wanting a family and home. 156 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:21,053 He mocks me for wanting a family and home. 157 00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:21,094 He calls me a defector. 158 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,638 He calls me a defector. 159 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:22,679 He even blames me for his and Justin's break-up. 160 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,932 He even blames me for his and Justin's break-up. 161 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:24,973 He says I infected him. 162 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,391 He says I infected him. 163 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:27,559 Well, he can think whatever he wants and call me whatever he pleases. 164 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:31,021 Well, he can think whatever he wants and call me whatever he pleases. 165 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:31,063 It really doesn't matter anymore. 166 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,606 It really doesn't matter anymore. 167 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:33,774 I'll have the tuna fish on whole-wheat with a lemon bar. 168 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,444 I'll have the tuna fish on whole-wheat with a lemon bar. 169 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:37,486 Hold the remarks. 170 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,154 Hold the remarks. 171 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:41,990 We're going door-to-door today to try and get people to listen. 172 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,451 We're going door-to-door today to try and get people to listen. 173 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:44,493 A lot of them may not want to, 174 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,286 A lot of them may not want to, 175 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:46,328 so don't be discouraged if you get doors slammed in your face. 176 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:49,456 so don't be discouraged if you get doors slammed in your face. 177 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:49,498 Just be courteous, make your point succinctly, 178 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:52,251 Just be courteous, make your point succinctly, 179 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:52,292 and whatever you do, do not engage. 180 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,962 and whatever you do, do not engage. 181 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:55,003 That means don't lose your fucking temper and shoot off your big mouth. 182 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,006 That means don't lose your fucking temper and shoot off your big mouth. 183 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:58,048 CHUCKLING Heh...exactly. Good luck. 184 00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,467 CHUCKLING Heh...exactly. Good luck. 185 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:01,635 Ready? Yeah. 186 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,136 Ready? Yeah. 187 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:03,178 I hope they don't come out swinging - 188 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,264 I hope they don't come out swinging - 189 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:05,305 not with the fortune I just spent on my face. 190 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,391 not with the fortune I just spent on my face. 191 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:07,432 What a lovely face it is too. You must get lots of compliments. 192 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,894 What a lovely face it is too. You must get lots of compliments. 193 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:10,936 I've been getting more than that. (Chuckles lasciviously) 194 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,272 I've been getting more than that. (Chuckles lasciviously) 195 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:14,773 To tell you the truth... something's missing. 196 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:18,110 To tell you the truth... something's missing. 197 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:18,151 Love? Commitment? 198 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,028 Love? Commitment? 199 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:20,070 Yeah, something like that. What you need is a husband. 200 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,489 Yeah, something like that. What you need is a husband. 201 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:22,531 Yeah! (Scoffs) First I need a boyfriend. 202 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:25,742 Yeah! (Scoffs) First I need a boyfriend. 203 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:25,784 But that won't be easy. 204 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,036 But that won't be easy. 205 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:28,078 My standards are ridiculously high. 206 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,581 My standards are ridiculously high. 207 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:30,622 I want someone who's financially secure, with a face like Brad Pitt, 208 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:34,793 I want someone who's financially secure, with a face like Brad Pitt, 209 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:34,835 a body like Brad Pitt, and hung like... 210 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,629 a body like Brad Pitt, and hung like... 211 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:37,671 ..well, just hung. 212 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,256 ..well, just hung. 213 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:39,298 That's not so ridiculous. It's absurd. 214 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,966 That's not so ridiculous. It's absurd. 215 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:41,008 Listen, if you really want to get hitched, you need a Jewish guy. 216 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,844 Listen, if you really want to get hitched, you need a Jewish guy. 217 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:43,886 They make the best marriage material. 218 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,554 They make the best marriage material. 219 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:45,596 They do? Yeah. 220 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,097 They do? Yeah. 221 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:47,139 Provided you can get past the incestuous relationship 222 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,057 Provided you can get past the incestuous relationship 223 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:49,099 they have with their mothers that lasts beyond the grave. 224 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,393 they have with their mothers that lasts beyond the grave. 225 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:53,395 Good afternoon, sir. We're here to talk to you about Proposition 14. 226 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:56,273 Good afternoon, sir. We're here to talk to you about Proposition 14. 227 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:56,315 We'll only take a minute of your time. 228 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,275 We'll only take a minute of your time. 229 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:58,317 Or less. 230 00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,818 Or less. 231 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:01,612 Well. 232 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,905 Well. 233 00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:02,946 It may not be easy, but at least it gets you out of the house. 234 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:06,158 It may not be easy, but at least it gets you out of the house. 235 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:06,200 That's what Michael said. 236 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,619 That's what Michael said. 237 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:08,660 Keeping busy would take my mind off Hunter. 238 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,829 Keeping busy would take my mind off Hunter. 239 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:10,871 So far it hasn't helped. Give it time. 240 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,665 So far it hasn't helped. Give it time. 241 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:13,707 How much time? A lifetime? 242 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,293 How much time? A lifetime? 243 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:16,335 'Cause that's how long it'll take for me to forget about him. 244 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:19,129 'Cause that's how long it'll take for me to forget about him. 245 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:23,008 Oh, hi. What can I do for you folks? 246 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,969 Oh, hi. What can I do for you folks? 247 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:26,011 We'd like to talk to you about Proposition 14. 248 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,305 We'd like to talk to you about Proposition 14. 249 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:28,347 It's very important that you vote no. 250 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,057 It's very important that you vote no. 251 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:30,098 Oh, why is that, son? 252 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,767 Oh, why is that, son? 253 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:31,808 If it passes, gay men and women will lose the same rights 254 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,853 If it passes, gay men and women will lose the same rights 255 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:34,895 that other Americans have. 256 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,396 that other Americans have. 257 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:36,438 And who's to say what's next? 258 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,023 And who's to say what's next? 259 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:38,065 The elderly could lose their social security. 260 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,067 The elderly could lose their social security. 261 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:40,108 Women could lose their right to have an abortion. 262 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,653 Women could lose their right to have an abortion. 263 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:42,694 I see your point. You've got my vote. 264 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:46,198 I see your point. You've got my vote. 265 00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:46,240 WOMAN: Dad, who's at the door? 266 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,159 WOMAN: Dad, who's at the door? 267 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:49,201 Hello. 268 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,744 Hello. 269 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:50,786 We were just talking to your father about voting no for Proposition 14. 270 00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:55,082 We were just talking to your father about voting no for Proposition 14. 271 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:55,123 My father hasn't voted in 10 years. 272 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,252 My father hasn't voted in 10 years. 273 00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:58,293 He has Alzheimer's. 274 00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,878 He has Alzheimer's. 275 00:06:59,878 --> 00:06:59,920 Come on, Dad. 276 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,380 Come on, Dad. 277 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:04,216 Trust me, Jim. 278 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,093 Trust me, Jim. 279 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:08,804 Look, why don't we have lunch tomorrow? 280 00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:10,597 Look, why don't we have lunch tomorrow? 281 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:10,639 I'll ply you with martinis 282 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,182 I'll ply you with martinis 283 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:12,224 and I guarantee you will see things my way. 284 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:16,019 and I guarantee you will see things my way. 285 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:16,061 Oh. 286 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,604 Oh. 287 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:20,148 Feldon's losing his hard-on for the new Home Station ad. 288 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,402 Feldon's losing his hard-on for the new Home Station ad. 289 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:23,443 Well, you have to admit, it's a bit suggestive. 290 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,363 Well, you have to admit, it's a bit suggestive. 291 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:26,405 You also have to admit it's genius. 292 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:31,159 You also have to admit it's genius. 293 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:31,201 Listen, how about coming with me to Beth Emanuel's mixer? 294 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,996 Listen, how about coming with me to Beth Emanuel's mixer? 295 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:34,037 Who's she? 296 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,914 Who's she? 297 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:35,956 It's a temple. 298 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,875 It's a temple. 299 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:37,916 They're having their monthly gay get-together at Woody's, 300 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,377 They're having their monthly gay get-together at Woody's, 301 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:40,419 and I want to meet a mensch. 302 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,421 and I want to meet a mensch. 303 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:42,462 Settle down. 304 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,964 Settle down. 305 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:44,006 Christ! 306 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,299 Christ! 307 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:45,340 Am I the only fag who doesn't want to put a trousseau together 308 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:48,427 Am I the only fag who doesn't want to put a trousseau together 309 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:48,468 and walk down the aisle? 310 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,220 and walk down the aisle? 311 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:50,262 Listen, I'm not getting any younger. 312 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:53,599 Listen, I'm not getting any younger. 313 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:53,640 I'll be 35 this... 9. 314 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,058 I'll be 35 this... 9. 315 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:56,643 What? 39. 316 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,353 What? 39. 317 00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:58,395 Uh... 318 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,897 Uh... 319 00:07:59,897 --> 00:07:59,938 I'm your employer. 320 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,982 I'm your employer. 321 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:02,024 There's a paper trail. 322 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,567 There's a paper trail. 323 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:03,609 Why don't you ask Justin? 324 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:06,111 Why don't you ask Justin? 325 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:06,153 Rumour has it he's hot for a hubby. 326 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,488 Rumour has it he's hot for a hubby. 327 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:08,530 Just thought I'd ask. 328 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,199 Just thought I'd ask. 329 00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:10,240 There are many uncertainties in this life, Theodore, 330 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,993 There are many uncertainties in this life, Theodore, 331 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:13,035 many...mysteries beyond our comprehension. 332 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,871 many...mysteries beyond our comprehension. 333 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:15,913 But one thing I know for a fact - 334 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,831 But one thing I know for a fact - 335 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:17,873 I will never be Mrs Seymour Goldfarb. 336 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,958 I will never be Mrs Seymour Goldfarb. 337 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:25,923 I wish we'd been able to convince more people. 338 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,217 I wish we'd been able to convince more people. 339 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:28,258 Well, the important thing is we keep on trying, huh? 340 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,928 Well, the important thing is we keep on trying, huh? 341 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:30,969 Oh...uh... 342 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:34,139 Oh...uh... 343 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:35,766 Am I late? 344 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,309 Am I late? 345 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:37,351 No. We just got here ourselves. 346 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,604 No. We just got here ourselves. 347 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:40,646 Who's he? 348 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,314 Who's he? 349 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:42,356 We'll talk later. Wha...? 350 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,900 We'll talk later. Wha...? 351 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:46,443 Hi. Hi. 352 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,445 Hi. Hi. 353 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:55,619 Keep up the good work, honey! 354 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,496 Keep up the good work, honey! 355 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:19,643 Have you seen a letter signed by Judge Salzman? 356 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,479 Have you seen a letter signed by Judge Salzman? 357 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:23,897 Hmm... 358 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,149 Hmm... 359 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:30,237 I wonder how it got into my pile. 360 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,030 I wonder how it got into my pile. 361 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:32,072 Beats me. 362 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,532 Beats me. 363 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:36,034 You didn't happen to see an invoice 364 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,995 You didn't happen to see an invoice 365 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:38,036 from the Resnick Gallery in New York, did you? 366 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,539 from the Resnick Gallery in New York, did you? 367 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:40,581 Oh. It's right here. 368 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,333 Oh. It's right here. 369 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:43,375 Must've gotten mixed up with my stuff by mistake. 370 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:46,503 Must've gotten mixed up with my stuff by mistake. 371 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:48,422 What's this? 372 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,424 What's this? 373 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:50,465 Oh, that's a piece Justin has in the art show. 374 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,593 Oh, that's a piece Justin has in the art show. 375 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:52,634 Wait till you see it. 376 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,136 Wait till you see it. 377 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:56,138 You are coming to the opening, aren't you? 378 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,432 You are coming to the opening, aren't you? 379 00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:58,473 Actually, I'm supposed to go out with, uh... 380 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,018 Actually, I'm supposed to go out with, uh... 381 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:01,059 Corinne. 382 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,644 Corinne. 383 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:04,354 Mel, you don't have to hide it. 384 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,273 Mel, you don't have to hide it. 385 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:06,315 That's our arrangement - you have your life, I have mine. 386 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:09,318 That's our arrangement - you have your life, I have mine. 387 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:09,359 I know, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. It's your show. 388 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:12,279 I know, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. It's your show. 389 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:12,321 That's right, it's my show, and I'm inviting you. 390 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,073 That's right, it's my show, and I'm inviting you. 391 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:16,283 And Corinne. 392 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,285 And Corinne. 393 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:18,327 Are you sure? I'm fine with it. Really. 394 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:22,039 Are you sure? I'm fine with it. Really. 395 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:28,670 (Sighs) Now, what have I done with Untitled I and II? 396 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:33,467 (Sighs) Now, what have I done with Untitled I and II? 397 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:35,886 It's right here under Newcombe v. Budge. 398 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,931 It's right here under Newcombe v. Budge. 399 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:42,184 DOG BARKS, EXCITED HUBBUB 400 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:45,270 DOG BARKS, EXCITED HUBBUB 401 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:50,025 What do you think? 402 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,069 What do you think? 403 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:52,110 Oh, a giraffe! Isn't that cute, huh? 404 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,279 Oh, a giraffe! Isn't that cute, huh? 405 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:54,321 It's a swan. 406 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,156 It's a swan. 407 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:56,198 Oh. I can see that...kinda. 408 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:59,785 Oh. I can see that...kinda. 409 00:10:59,785 --> 00:10:59,826 It's for my next segment. They want something cute. 410 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:03,038 It's for my next segment. They want something cute. 411 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:03,080 There are a couple of reporters camped out the front. 412 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,999 There are a couple of reporters camped out the front. 413 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:06,041 Shit! 414 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,793 Shit! 415 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:07,835 Look at this - they took an old photograph of me 416 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:10,712 Look at this - they took an old photograph of me 417 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:10,754 and made it look like I'm in Babylon. 418 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,548 and made it look like I'm in Babylon. 419 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:12,589 I've never even been to Babylon. 420 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,174 I've never even been to Babylon. 421 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:14,216 You know, last week they put poor Liza's head 422 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,426 You know, last week they put poor Liza's head 423 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:16,468 on the body of a 400lb woman. 424 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,428 on the body of a 400lb woman. 425 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:18,470 They said she was too fat to get out of bed. 426 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,848 They said she was too fat to get out of bed. 427 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:20,889 You can't let that trash get to you. 428 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,308 You can't let that trash get to you. 429 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:23,350 Besides, it'll all stop once you come out. 430 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,394 Besides, it'll all stop once you come out. 431 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:26,812 You're going to come out? 432 00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:28,313 You're going to come out? 433 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:29,731 When?! Huh? When, honey? 434 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,943 When?! Huh? When, honey? 435 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:32,985 I haven't decided yet. 436 00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,486 I haven't decided yet. 437 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:35,571 Well, I say Larry King. 438 00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,698 Well, I say Larry King. 439 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:37,739 I mean, if it was me, I'd definitely come out to Larry. 440 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,285 I mean, if it was me, I'd definitely come out to Larry. 441 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:41,326 I mean, you know, of course, 442 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,911 I mean, you know, of course, 443 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:42,953 however you decide to do it, it has to be your way. 444 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,414 however you decide to do it, it has to be your way. 445 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:45,455 Yeah, Deb's right - you got to do it on your own terms. 446 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,916 Yeah, Deb's right - you got to do it on your own terms. 447 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:47,958 Oh. You got some sauce on your chin, baby. 448 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:52,546 Oh. You got some sauce on your chin, baby. 449 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:52,588 That was my swan. 450 00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:54,131 That was my swan. 451 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:54,173 It was a giraffe, honey. (Chuckles) Try again. 452 00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:57,050 It was a giraffe, honey. (Chuckles) Try again. 453 00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:01,180 You know, I've got one hell of a nerve. 454 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,348 You know, I've got one hell of a nerve. 455 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:03,390 I'm sitting here like some fucking eunuch, 456 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,851 I'm sitting here like some fucking eunuch, 457 00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:05,893 making animals out of napkins 458 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,811 making animals out of napkins 459 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:07,853 to delight the guests at your next dinner party, 460 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,980 to delight the guests at your next dinner party, 461 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:10,022 and I'm telling YOU how to be out and proud. 462 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,983 and I'm telling YOU how to be out and proud. 463 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:19,323 It's a funny story how we met. (Laughs) 464 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:22,117 It's a funny story how we met. (Laughs) 465 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:22,159 I'm always up for a laugh. 466 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,827 I'm always up for a laugh. 467 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:23,869 Well, I-I was dropping Molly off at school, 468 00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:26,580 Well, I-I was dropping Molly off at school, 469 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:26,622 when, wouldn't you know, I get a flat. 470 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:29,124 when, wouldn't you know, I get a flat. 471 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:29,166 Just then, this motorcycle comes roaring up 472 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:32,753 Just then, this motorcycle comes roaring up 473 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:32,794 and this guy dressed all in black asks me if I want help. 474 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:37,716 and this guy dressed all in black asks me if I want help. 475 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:37,758 Well, I had taken that night class in car maintenance 476 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,010 Well, I had taken that night class in car maintenance 477 00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:40,052 after your father left, 478 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:41,595 after your father left, 479 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:41,637 but I...I was on my way to an open house. 480 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:44,473 but I...I was on my way to an open house. 481 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:44,515 I didn't want to show up looking like a...grease monkey... (Laughs) 482 00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:48,185 I didn't want to show up looking like a...grease monkey... (Laughs) 483 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:49,311 ..so I said yes, and it turned out to be Tuck. 484 00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:53,148 ..so I said yes, and it turned out to be Tuck. 485 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:54,399 'Tuck'? It's short for 'Tucker'. 486 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,903 'Tuck'? It's short for 'Tucker'. 487 00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:57,945 He teaches eighth-grade science at Molly's school. (Chuckles) 488 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,948 He teaches eighth-grade science at Molly's school. (Chuckles) 489 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:00,989 Wow. My sides are splitting. 490 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:04,034 Wow. My sides are splitting. 491 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:06,078 So...we got to chatting. 492 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:09,957 So...we got to chatting. 493 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:09,998 He asked me if I wanted to go out some night for a coffee... 494 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:13,168 He asked me if I wanted to go out some night for a coffee... 495 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:13,210 Coffee? Aren't his parents afraid it might stunt his growth? 496 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:16,338 Coffee? Aren't his parents afraid it might stunt his growth? 497 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:17,881 Do you want to hear this or not? 498 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,758 Do you want to hear this or not? 499 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:19,800 (Clears throat) 500 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,385 (Clears throat) 501 00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:21,426 Well, I figured, what the hell? 502 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:25,013 Well, I figured, what the hell? 503 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:25,055 It beats sitting at home, reading 'How to Survive a Divorce', 504 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:29,059 It beats sitting at home, reading 'How to Survive a Divorce', 505 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:29,101 so I said yes. 506 00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:30,936 so I said yes. 507 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:30,978 And...the rest is history. 508 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:34,439 And...the rest is history. 509 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:34,481 For him, modern. For you, ancient. 510 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,109 For him, modern. For you, ancient. 511 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:38,402 I take it you don't approve. 512 00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:39,987 I take it you don't approve. 513 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:40,028 I suppose a woman of your age is allowed to have a little fling... 514 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:43,407 I suppose a woman of your age is allowed to have a little fling... 515 00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:43,448 ..provided it's discreet. 516 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,992 ..provided it's discreet. 517 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:46,952 Well, actually, it's... it's more than a little fling. 518 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:51,915 Well, actually, it's... it's more than a little fling. 519 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:51,957 We've been seeing each other for six months. 520 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,709 We've been seeing each other for six months. 521 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:55,460 For six months? And you never said anything? 522 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,880 For six months? And you never said anything? 523 00:13:59,798 --> 00:13:59,840 What was the point until I was sure it was serious? 524 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,593 What was the point until I was sure it was serious? 525 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:02,634 Serious? 526 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,386 Serious? 527 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:04,428 You are NOT serious. He's one-third your age. 528 00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,181 You are NOT serious. He's one-third your age. 529 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:07,222 Half. Fine. Half. He's half your age. 530 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:10,684 Half. Fine. Half. He's half your age. 531 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:10,726 He's still young enough to be your s... 532 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:13,020 He's still young enough to be your s... 533 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:13,061 I don't even want to say it. 534 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,980 I don't even want to say it. 535 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:15,022 And I don't want to hear it. 536 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,732 And I don't want to hear it. 537 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:18,025 Especially from you. 538 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,735 Especially from you. 539 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:27,159 JAZZ PLAYS 540 00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:30,120 JAZZ PLAYS 541 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:30,162 KNOCK AT DOOR 542 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,997 KNOCK AT DOOR 543 00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:45,677 You alone? 544 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,179 You alone? 545 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:48,597 One of those rare unexpected moments. 546 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,016 One of those rare unexpected moments. 547 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:51,058 Ah. 548 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,809 Ah. 549 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:54,186 So much...for the moment. 550 00:14:54,186 --> 00:14:56,813 So much...for the moment. 551 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:56,855 That Thelonious? 552 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,357 That Thelonious? 553 00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:00,817 That, er...tuna macaroni casserole? 554 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:04,238 That, er...tuna macaroni casserole? 555 00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:04,279 You got it. 556 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,156 You got it. 557 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:06,198 I don't want it. 558 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,158 I don't want it. 559 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:08,200 Tuna casserole means that we're going to get stoned 560 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,827 Tuna casserole means that we're going to get stoned 561 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:10,869 and have a very meaningful conversation. 562 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,829 and have a very meaningful conversation. 563 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:13,956 Unfortunately, I just finished my last joint. 564 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,917 Unfortunately, I just finished my last joint. 565 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:16,959 Well, fortunately... (Chuckles) 566 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,127 Well, fortunately... (Chuckles) 567 00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:20,879 ..I brought one with me. 568 00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,756 ..I brought one with me. 569 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:39,231 Does Detective Horvath know that his blushing bride is a pothead? 570 00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:42,943 Does Detective Horvath know that his blushing bride is a pothead? 571 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:45,362 Nothing kills a good relationship faster than full disclosure. 572 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:48,699 Nothing kills a good relationship faster than full disclosure. 573 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:50,492 Give me some of that. 574 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,994 Give me some of that. 575 00:15:58,750 --> 00:15:58,792 I don't like the way you've been treating Michael. 576 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,295 I don't like the way you've been treating Michael. 577 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:02,963 Butt the fuck out. 578 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,548 Butt the fuck out. 579 00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:08,635 You've been on his case 580 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,345 You've been on his case 581 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:10,387 ever since he and Ben bought that house together. 582 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,598 ever since he and Ben bought that house together. 583 00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:12,639 He didn't just buy a house. 584 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,558 He didn't just buy a house. 585 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:16,435 He bought the slicer and the dicer... 586 00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:19,396 He bought the slicer and the dicer... 587 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:19,438 ..the Ginsu knives, the abs roller, the juicer. 588 00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:24,193 ..the Ginsu knives, the abs roller, the juicer. 589 00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:24,234 The 'Top 100 Hits of the '60s' - not available at any store. 590 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:28,280 The 'Top 100 Hits of the '60s' - not available at any store. 591 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:29,865 In short, every lie, every con... 592 00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:33,744 In short, every lie, every con... 593 00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:33,785 ..every...colour, shape and size of bullshit 594 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:38,874 ..every...colour, shape and size of bullshit 595 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:38,916 the straight world has to offer. 596 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,709 the straight world has to offer. 597 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:42,044 He fell in love. 598 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,629 He fell in love. 599 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:45,047 He got married. 600 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,548 He got married. 601 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:49,760 He got a family. 602 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,929 He got a family. 603 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:51,970 You know - 604 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,514 You know - 605 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:53,555 everything he's ever wanted since he was a kid. 606 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:56,099 everything he's ever wanted since he was a kid. 607 00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:57,559 A normal home. (Laughs) 608 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,854 A normal home. (Laughs) 609 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:00,896 What? (Laughs) 610 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,856 What? (Laughs) 611 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:04,483 Why do you have such a problem with that? 612 00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,652 Why do you have such a problem with that? 613 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:09,905 I'll tell you why. 614 00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,449 I'll tell you why. 615 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:12,491 You don't. 616 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,284 You don't. 617 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:18,705 Your problem is... 618 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,499 Your problem is... 619 00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:23,377 ..he left you. 620 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,003 ..he left you. 621 00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:28,715 He left you and he moved on. 622 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,801 He left you and he moved on. 623 00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:34,972 Only he didn't. 624 00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:36,473 Only he didn't. 625 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:39,601 You and he just made different choices, that's all. 626 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,104 You and he just made different choices, that's all. 627 00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:43,689 Doesn't mean that you don't still love each other. 628 00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:46,275 Doesn't mean that you don't still love each other. 629 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:49,778 He won't talk to me. 630 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,363 He won't talk to me. 631 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:53,031 Then you talk to him. 632 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,700 Then you talk to him. 633 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:02,165 The money behind it is unbelievable. 634 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,459 The money behind it is unbelievable. 635 00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:04,501 Not just wealthy conservatives, but big corporations. 636 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:08,046 Not just wealthy conservatives, but big corporations. 637 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:08,088 Ben says we should boycott them. 638 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,007 Ben says we should boycott them. 639 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:10,048 Yeah, before they take that right away from us too. 640 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,384 Yeah, before they take that right away from us too. 641 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:12,426 Sorry to sound like such an alarmist, 642 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,803 Sorry to sound like such an alarmist, 643 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:14,887 but these days I feel like I'm living in Nazi Germany. 644 00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:17,222 but these days I feel like I'm living in Nazi Germany. 645 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:17,264 Like we're the new Jews. Oh, come on, Mel. 646 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:19,099 Like we're the new Jews. Oh, come on, Mel. 647 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:19,141 Don't you think that's going a bit far? 648 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,726 Don't you think that's going a bit far? 649 00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:20,767 Listen, my seide - my grandfather - 650 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,519 Listen, my seide - my grandfather - 651 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:22,561 used to tell me everybody thought he was nuts for leaving Germany. 652 00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:25,147 used to tell me everybody thought he was nuts for leaving Germany. 653 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:25,189 (Yiddish accent) "You're making too much of it. 654 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,982 (Yiddish accent) "You're making too much of it. 655 00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:27,024 "It'll pass. That'll never happen here." 656 00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:28,692 "It'll pass. That'll never happen here." 657 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:28,734 He died at the age of 87. 658 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:31,111 He died at the age of 87. 659 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:31,153 The rest of his family died in camps. 660 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,947 The rest of his family died in camps. 661 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:33,989 Well, what are we supposed to do - pack up and move to Paris? 662 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,825 Well, what are we supposed to do - pack up and move to Paris? 663 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:36,867 Well, last time I heard, they had a gay mayor. 664 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:39,161 Well, last time I heard, they had a gay mayor. 665 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:39,203 Listen, I'm going to grab this cab. 666 00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:41,288 Listen, I'm going to grab this cab. 667 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:41,330 OK. Oh! (Laughs) 668 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,916 OK. Oh! (Laughs) 669 00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:43,957 Aw! 'Bye, sweetheart. Oh, Mel! 670 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,585 Aw! 'Bye, sweetheart. Oh, Mel! 671 00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:46,627 I meant her. You too! 672 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,295 I meant her. You too! 673 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:51,215 Can you take me to, er... 674 00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,258 Can you take me to, er... 675 00:18:58,347 --> 00:18:58,388 ALARM RINGS 676 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:01,475 ALARM RINGS 677 00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:49,898 Nothing was stolen? 678 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,900 Nothing was stolen? 679 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:51,942 Not that I can tell. 680 00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:53,527 Not that I can tell. 681 00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:53,569 All I can say is thank God no-one was hurt. 682 00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:56,196 All I can say is thank God no-one was hurt. 683 00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:57,364 I'll need you to file a report. 684 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,324 I'll need you to file a report. 685 00:19:59,324 --> 00:19:59,366 Then what? We'll investigate. 686 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,368 Then what? We'll investigate. 687 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:01,410 But with this kind of vandalism, 688 00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:03,161 But with this kind of vandalism, 689 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:03,203 it's usually pretty difficult to come up with anything. 690 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,247 it's usually pretty difficult to come up with anything. 691 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:05,289 That's all you think it was - vandalism? 692 00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:07,457 That's all you think it was - vandalism? 693 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:07,499 Well, what else? Probably just some kid trying to steal a comic book. 694 00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:10,544 Well, what else? Probably just some kid trying to steal a comic book. 695 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:10,586 What if it wasn't? 696 00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,337 What if it wasn't? 697 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:12,379 What if they were trying to destroy that - 698 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,423 What if they were trying to destroy that - 699 00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:14,464 two gay superheroes getting married? 700 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:17,301 two gay superheroes getting married? 701 00:20:17,301 --> 00:20:17,342 Look, I know what you're suggesting, 702 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,261 Look, I know what you're suggesting, 703 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:19,303 but there's no evidence of any hate crime. 704 00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:21,388 but there's no evidence of any hate crime. 705 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:21,430 Hate crime? 706 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:22,931 Hate crime? 707 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:22,973 I appreciate your concern, 708 00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,600 I appreciate your concern, 709 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:24,641 but in all honesty, I think you're getting a bit carried away. 710 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:28,729 but in all honesty, I think you're getting a bit carried away. 711 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:28,770 That's funny. 712 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,397 That's funny. 713 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:30,439 I just accused Mel of the same thing. 714 00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:32,608 I just accused Mel of the same thing. 715 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:36,111 Remember, men, a smartly folded napkin 716 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:39,072 Remember, men, a smartly folded napkin 717 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:39,114 will add a touch of class to your table setting 718 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:41,158 will add a touch of class to your table setting 719 00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:41,200 and be certain to charm your lady friend. 720 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,827 and be certain to charm your lady friend. 721 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:43,869 And who knows? 722 00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:45,412 And who knows? 723 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:45,454 After dinner she might even... let you... 724 00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:48,248 After dinner she might even... let you... 725 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:48,290 ..show her how to make one of these. 726 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,501 ..show her how to make one of these. 727 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:50,542 I'm Emmett Honeycutt, your Queer Guy, here to make your life more fabulous. 728 00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:55,088 I'm Emmett Honeycutt, your Queer Guy, here to make your life more fabulous. 729 00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:56,507 Thanks, Queer Guy, and that's the news. 730 00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:58,509 Thanks, Queer Guy, and that's the news. 731 00:20:58,509 --> 00:20:58,550 We'll see you tomorrow at six. 732 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,427 We'll see you tomorrow at six. 733 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:00,469 Until then, hope all your news is good news. 734 00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:03,555 Until then, hope all your news is good news. 735 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:04,848 MAN: And we're out. 736 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,642 MAN: And we're out. 737 00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:08,936 Cute segment, Emmett. 738 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:10,521 Cute segment, Emmett. 739 00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:10,562 By the way, I've got some good news for you. 740 00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,606 By the way, I've got some good news for you. 741 00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:12,648 Management is thinking about doing a Queer Guy special. 742 00:21:12,648 --> 00:21:15,776 Management is thinking about doing a Queer Guy special. 743 00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:15,817 Now, here's the concept. 744 00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:17,319 Now, here's the concept. 745 00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:17,361 You prepare and serve a gourmet dinner to a hot straight couple. 746 00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:21,406 You prepare and serve a gourmet dinner to a hot straight couple. 747 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:21,448 Oh...perfect. 748 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,408 Oh...perfect. 749 00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:23,450 And after, they can fuck while I do the dishes. 750 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,994 And after, they can fuck while I do the dishes. 751 00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:26,036 (Laughs) 752 00:21:26,036 --> 00:21:27,663 (Laughs) 753 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:27,704 Hey, Don? You wouldn't believe who I just spoke to. 754 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:30,207 Hey, Don? You wouldn't believe who I just spoke to. 755 00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:30,249 Who? Drew Boyd. 756 00:21:30,249 --> 00:21:31,792 Who? Drew Boyd. 757 00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:31,834 He wants to give me an exclusive interview 758 00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:33,752 He wants to give me an exclusive interview 759 00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:33,794 about the allegations that he's a fag. 760 00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,629 about the allegations that he's a fag. 761 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:35,671 Jesus Christ! Our ratings are going to go through the roof. 762 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,923 Jesus Christ! Our ratings are going to go through the roof. 763 00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:37,965 Watch out, Channel Seven! Man, they'll be yesterday's news. 764 00:21:37,965 --> 00:21:41,218 Watch out, Channel Seven! Man, they'll be yesterday's news. 765 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:02,406 Can I get a cranberry juice and sparkling water? 766 00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:04,575 Can I get a cranberry juice and sparkling water? 767 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:11,957 Oh! Oh, sorry. It's OK. 768 00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:14,501 Oh! Oh, sorry. It's OK. 769 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:14,543 I'll have your sweater cleaned. 770 00:22:14,543 --> 00:22:16,503 I'll have your sweater cleaned. 771 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:16,545 Don't worry about the sweater. 772 00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:18,005 Don't worry about the sweater. 773 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:19,798 I'll have another drink, though. 774 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:21,383 I'll have another drink, though. 775 00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:21,425 Yeah, yeah. Of course, of course. Er...what were you...? 776 00:22:21,425 --> 00:22:23,260 Yeah, yeah. Of course, of course. Er...what were you...? 777 00:22:23,260 --> 00:22:23,302 Diet Pepsi. 778 00:22:23,302 --> 00:22:24,803 Diet Pepsi. 779 00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:24,845 You don't drink? 780 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:26,513 You don't drink? 781 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:26,555 Maybe a glass of wine on occasion - holidays - but that's about it. 782 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:30,642 Maybe a glass of wine on occasion - holidays - but that's about it. 783 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:32,394 Uh...Ted Schmidt. Shalom. 784 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,646 Uh...Ted Schmidt. Shalom. 785 00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:34,688 Adam Bernstein. Shalom. 786 00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:37,191 Adam Bernstein. Shalom. 787 00:22:37,191 --> 00:22:37,232 And, uh...nice to meet you too. 788 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:39,193 And, uh...nice to meet you too. 789 00:22:40,944 --> 00:22:40,986 So, what do you do for a living? 790 00:22:40,986 --> 00:22:42,905 So, what do you do for a living? 791 00:22:42,905 --> 00:22:42,946 Well, I work at this ad agency. 792 00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:45,240 Well, I work at this ad agency. 793 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:45,282 I do a lot of things, but mostly I'm an accountant. 794 00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:47,618 I do a lot of things, but mostly I'm an accountant. 795 00:22:47,618 --> 00:22:47,659 An accountant? My brother's an accountant. 796 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,204 An accountant? My brother's an accountant. 797 00:22:50,204 --> 00:22:50,245 Maybe you've heard of him. Mark Bernstein. 798 00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:53,248 Maybe you've heard of him. Mark Bernstein. 799 00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:53,290 Yeah, I think I know several. (Chuckles) 800 00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:56,376 Yeah, I think I know several. (Chuckles) 801 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:56,418 What about you? Neurologist. 802 00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:58,712 What about you? Neurologist. 803 00:22:58,712 --> 00:22:58,754 A doctor! 804 00:22:58,754 --> 00:23:00,339 A doctor! 805 00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:00,380 Well. My mother would be thrilled. 806 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,466 Well. My mother would be thrilled. 807 00:23:04,635 --> 00:23:04,676 So, uh...what else do you do? 808 00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:06,845 So, uh...what else do you do? 809 00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:06,887 I mean, besides examining guy's prostates? 810 00:23:06,887 --> 00:23:09,306 I mean, besides examining guy's prostates? 811 00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:11,600 I'm a tennis freak. I mean, I got a hell of a backhand. 812 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,895 I'm a tennis freak. I mean, I got a hell of a backhand. 813 00:23:14,895 --> 00:23:14,937 I'll bet you do. 814 00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:16,438 I'll bet you do. 815 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:16,480 Do you like opera? 816 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,398 Do you like opera? 817 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:18,440 I hate it. 818 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,442 I hate it. 819 00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:20,484 But I love ballet. 820 00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:23,070 But I love ballet. 821 00:23:23,070 --> 00:23:23,111 Men in tights - how can you go wrong, right? 822 00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:25,822 Men in tights - how can you go wrong, right? 823 00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:25,864 Right. I got season's tickets. 824 00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:29,326 Right. I got season's tickets. 825 00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:29,368 What do you say we go sometime? 826 00:23:29,368 --> 00:23:31,161 What do you say we go sometime? 827 00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:31,203 You mean a pas de deux? I'd love to. 828 00:23:31,203 --> 00:23:34,289 You mean a pas de deux? I'd love to. 829 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:35,415 But then...why wait until 'Giselle' rolls into town? 830 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:38,627 But then...why wait until 'Giselle' rolls into town? 831 00:23:40,254 --> 00:23:40,295 Huh? 832 00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:41,839 Huh? 833 00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:46,760 Hey, I just put one of those on the front lawn. 834 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,304 Hey, I just put one of those on the front lawn. 835 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:49,346 Yeah, and I just took it out. 836 00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:51,473 Yeah, and I just took it out. 837 00:23:52,683 --> 00:23:52,724 What? 838 00:23:52,724 --> 00:23:54,309 What? 839 00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:54,351 Aren't we doing enough? Canvassing and volunteering? 840 00:23:54,351 --> 00:23:58,063 Aren't we doing enough? Canvassing and volunteering? 841 00:23:58,063 --> 00:23:58,105 Do we really need this too? 842 00:23:58,105 --> 00:23:59,731 Do we really need this too? 843 00:23:59,731 --> 00:23:59,773 It's a sign of solidarity. Support. 844 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:03,110 It's a sign of solidarity. Support. 845 00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:03,151 Besides, practically everyone's house on the block has one, 846 00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:05,153 Besides, practically everyone's house on the block has one, 847 00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:05,195 including the Iamontes. 848 00:24:05,195 --> 00:24:06,989 including the Iamontes. 849 00:24:06,989 --> 00:24:07,030 Good for them. They can also wear pink triangles on their sleeves. 850 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:10,534 Good for them. They can also wear pink triangles on their sleeves. 851 00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:10,576 No reason to get yourself so worked up. 852 00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:13,203 No reason to get yourself so worked up. 853 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:13,245 Actually, there is. I've already been a target. 854 00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:15,497 Actually, there is. I've already been a target. 855 00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:15,539 Carl said there's no evidence of that. 856 00:24:15,539 --> 00:24:17,541 Carl said there's no evidence of that. 857 00:24:18,709 --> 00:24:18,750 Look, I know what happened at the shop was upsetting, 858 00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:22,796 Look, I know what happened at the shop was upsetting, 859 00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:22,838 but let's try and stay level-headed. 860 00:24:22,838 --> 00:24:25,007 but let's try and stay level-headed. 861 00:24:25,007 --> 00:24:25,048 Well, fine. 862 00:24:25,048 --> 00:24:27,092 Well, fine. 863 00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:27,134 We'll see how level-headed you feel 864 00:24:27,134 --> 00:24:28,802 We'll see how level-headed you feel 865 00:24:28,802 --> 00:24:28,844 when they round us all up and take us off to the camps. 866 00:24:28,844 --> 00:24:31,471 when they round us all up and take us off to the camps. 867 00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:31,513 Oh, right. 868 00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,056 Oh, right. 869 00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:33,098 If you don't want it on the front lawn, 870 00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:34,892 If you don't want it on the front lawn, 871 00:24:34,892 --> 00:24:34,933 we won't put it on the front lawn. 872 00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,768 we won't put it on the front lawn. 873 00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:42,399 Look, I know you think I'm being ridiculous, 874 00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:45,235 Look, I know you think I'm being ridiculous, 875 00:24:45,235 --> 00:24:45,277 but...I would hate for something terrible to happen 876 00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:49,156 but...I would hate for something terrible to happen 877 00:24:49,156 --> 00:24:49,198 just because we didn't pay attention to the warnings. 878 00:24:49,198 --> 00:24:51,491 just because we didn't pay attention to the warnings. 879 00:24:53,869 --> 00:24:53,911 We'll have more scores at 11:00, 880 00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:55,996 We'll have more scores at 11:00, 881 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:56,038 but right now we've got a special guest in the studio with us. 882 00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:59,082 but right now we've got a special guest in the studio with us. 883 00:24:59,082 --> 00:24:59,124 Star quarterback for the Ironmen and two-time MVP Drew Boyd. 884 00:24:59,124 --> 00:25:04,171 Star quarterback for the Ironmen and two-time MVP Drew Boyd. 885 00:25:04,171 --> 00:25:04,213 Great to have you here, Drew. Thanks, Bud. 886 00:25:04,213 --> 00:25:06,256 Great to have you here, Drew. Thanks, Bud. 887 00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:06,298 Well, Drew, you'd have to be living on the moon 888 00:25:06,298 --> 00:25:08,342 Well, Drew, you'd have to be living on the moon 889 00:25:08,342 --> 00:25:08,383 not to know what's been happening with you these days. 890 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:10,802 not to know what's been happening with you these days. 891 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:10,844 I'm talking about these sex allegations - "Boyd likes boys." 892 00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:16,058 I'm talking about these sex allegations - "Boyd likes boys." 893 00:25:16,058 --> 00:25:16,099 Its been a very difficult time for me, Bud, as you can imagine. 894 00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:18,727 Its been a very difficult time for me, Bud, as you can imagine. 895 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:20,020 But I feel as though the sooner that I address this issue, 896 00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,731 But I feel as though the sooner that I address this issue, 897 00:25:22,731 --> 00:25:22,773 the sooner I can get on with my life. 898 00:25:22,773 --> 00:25:24,608 the sooner I can get on with my life. 899 00:25:24,608 --> 00:25:24,650 Let me just say that we've known each other 900 00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:26,652 Let me just say that we've known each other 901 00:25:26,652 --> 00:25:26,693 for how long now - 15 years? 902 00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:28,237 for how long now - 15 years? 903 00:25:28,237 --> 00:25:28,278 Mmm. 904 00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:29,238 Mmm. 905 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:29,279 We started out playing ball together, 906 00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:30,864 We started out playing ball together, 907 00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:30,906 I have always thought of you not only as an outstanding athlete 908 00:25:30,906 --> 00:25:33,700 I have always thought of you not only as an outstanding athlete 909 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:33,742 but as a man's man. 910 00:25:33,742 --> 00:25:36,245 but as a man's man. 911 00:25:36,245 --> 00:25:36,286 So...why don't we put all these rumours to rest right now? 912 00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:39,540 So...why don't we put all these rumours to rest right now? 913 00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:39,581 First of all, I would like to say that most of those stories 914 00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:42,501 First of all, I would like to say that most of those stories 915 00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:42,543 are out-and-out lies - total exaggerations. 916 00:25:42,543 --> 00:25:45,254 are out-and-out lies - total exaggerations. 917 00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:45,295 I'm sure that's a relief for your millions of fans. 918 00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:48,590 I'm sure that's a relief for your millions of fans. 919 00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:48,632 But if you're asking me if I'm gay... 920 00:25:48,632 --> 00:25:51,635 But if you're asking me if I'm gay... 921 00:25:51,635 --> 00:25:51,677 ..the answer is yes. 922 00:25:51,677 --> 00:25:53,387 ..the answer is yes. 923 00:26:01,895 --> 00:26:01,937 (Chuckles) I don't believe it! 924 00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:05,691 (Chuckles) I don't believe it! 925 00:26:05,691 --> 00:26:05,732 You're saying a guy like you...? 926 00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:07,234 You're saying a guy like you...? 927 00:26:07,234 --> 00:26:07,276 Yeah. A guy like me. 928 00:26:07,276 --> 00:26:09,486 Yeah. A guy like me. 929 00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:10,946 I can't even picture you kissing another guy - not like him. 930 00:26:10,946 --> 00:26:15,158 I can't even picture you kissing another guy - not like him. 931 00:26:16,368 --> 00:26:16,410 Excuse me?! 932 00:26:16,410 --> 00:26:18,078 Excuse me?! 933 00:26:18,078 --> 00:26:18,120 Actually, Bud, it was your Queer Guy, Emmett Honeycutt, 934 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:22,374 Actually, Bud, it was your Queer Guy, Emmett Honeycutt, 935 00:26:22,374 --> 00:26:22,416 who helped me to find the courage not just to be "a man's man"... 936 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:27,254 who helped me to find the courage not just to be "a man's man"... 937 00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:27,296 ..but to be my own man. 938 00:26:27,296 --> 00:26:28,964 ..but to be my own man. 939 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:30,424 And I'd like to thank him. 940 00:26:30,424 --> 00:26:32,092 And I'd like to thank him. 941 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:48,275 We'll be back in a minute. 942 00:26:48,275 --> 00:26:49,860 We'll be back in a minute. 943 00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:49,902 MAN: And we're out. 944 00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:51,403 MAN: And we're out. 945 00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:51,445 EXCITED HUBBUB 946 00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:54,531 EXCITED HUBBUB 947 00:27:00,746 --> 00:27:00,787 Justin, I'd like you to meet Simon Caswell. 948 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:03,123 Justin, I'd like you to meet Simon Caswell. 949 00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:03,165 He's the critic from the 'Art Forum' magazine. 950 00:27:03,165 --> 00:27:04,917 He's the critic from the 'Art Forum' magazine. 951 00:27:04,917 --> 00:27:04,958 Hello. 952 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,502 Hello. 953 00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:06,543 Lindsay is always trying to convince me to come to Pittsburgh. 954 00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:09,379 Lindsay is always trying to convince me to come to Pittsburgh. 955 00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:09,421 I tell her Warhol's it, but this time I could be wrong. 956 00:27:09,421 --> 00:27:14,510 I tell her Warhol's it, but this time I could be wrong. 957 00:27:18,347 --> 00:27:18,388 Your work has a surprising intensity to it. 958 00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:21,683 Your work has a surprising intensity to it. 959 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:21,725 Especially for someone so young. 960 00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:23,393 Especially for someone so young. 961 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:23,435 What made you want to be an artist? 962 00:27:23,435 --> 00:27:25,312 What made you want to be an artist? 963 00:27:25,312 --> 00:27:25,354 It was that or be a mass murderer. 964 00:27:25,354 --> 00:27:27,272 It was that or be a mass murderer. 965 00:27:27,272 --> 00:27:27,314 (Laughs) That's very amusing. 966 00:27:27,314 --> 00:27:30,275 (Laughs) That's very amusing. 967 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:31,652 I'll be in touch. 968 00:27:31,652 --> 00:27:33,320 I'll be in touch. 969 00:27:35,239 --> 00:27:35,280 Did you hear what he said? 970 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,199 Did you hear what he said? 971 00:27:37,199 --> 00:27:37,241 Remember this moment. 972 00:27:37,241 --> 00:27:38,951 Remember this moment. 973 00:27:38,951 --> 00:27:38,992 What for? He's a cunt. 974 00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:40,911 What for? He's a cunt. 975 00:27:40,911 --> 00:27:40,953 A very influential cunt. A cunt's a cunt. 976 00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:43,330 A very influential cunt. A cunt's a cunt. 977 00:27:44,790 --> 00:27:44,831 From the way everyone's talking, 978 00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:46,416 From the way everyone's talking, 979 00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:46,458 this might as well be a one-man show. 980 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:48,252 this might as well be a one-man show. 981 00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:48,293 I had no idea you were so talented. 982 00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:50,128 I had no idea you were so talented. 983 00:27:50,128 --> 00:27:50,170 Thank you. 984 00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:51,672 Thank you. 985 00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:51,713 Corinne, you remember... Lindsay. 986 00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:53,173 Corinne, you remember... Lindsay. 987 00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:53,215 I'm really enjoying the show. 988 00:27:53,215 --> 00:27:54,925 I'm really enjoying the show. 989 00:27:54,925 --> 00:27:54,967 I'm delighted you could come. 990 00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:56,510 I'm delighted you could come. 991 00:27:56,510 --> 00:27:56,552 I need a refill. Catch you later. 'Bye. 992 00:27:56,552 --> 00:27:59,888 I need a refill. Catch you later. 'Bye. 993 00:28:02,224 --> 00:28:02,266 Are you sure you're OK with all of this? 994 00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:04,142 Are you sure you're OK with all of this? 995 00:28:04,142 --> 00:28:04,184 Well, what other choice do I have? My other career choice. 996 00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:06,979 Well, what other choice do I have? My other career choice. 997 00:28:09,982 --> 00:28:10,023 Art openings are always such gay occasions. 998 00:28:10,023 --> 00:28:13,777 Art openings are always such gay occasions. 999 00:28:13,777 --> 00:28:13,819 Mmm. Especially now that you're here. 1000 00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:15,946 Mmm. Especially now that you're here. 1001 00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:18,240 I wasn't sure you'd come. Neither was I. 1002 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,284 I wasn't sure you'd come. Neither was I. 1003 00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:22,369 That it? Do you like it? 1004 00:28:22,369 --> 00:28:24,997 That it? Do you like it? 1005 00:28:24,997 --> 00:28:25,038 If I did, would that make it good? 1006 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:27,499 If I did, would that make it good? 1007 00:28:27,499 --> 00:28:27,541 No. 1008 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:28,667 No. 1009 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:28,709 Would it make you like it more or less? 1010 00:28:28,709 --> 00:28:31,253 Would it make you like it more or less? 1011 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:31,295 No. Would it make you rich? 1012 00:28:31,295 --> 00:28:33,046 No. Would it make you rich? 1013 00:28:33,046 --> 00:28:33,088 No. 1014 00:28:33,088 --> 00:28:34,298 No. 1015 00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:34,339 Then why do you give a shit what I think? 1016 00:28:34,339 --> 00:28:36,425 Then why do you give a shit what I think? 1017 00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:39,803 I think it's exquisite. 1018 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:41,305 I think it's exquisite. 1019 00:28:43,307 --> 00:28:43,348 You should be very proud. 1020 00:28:43,348 --> 00:28:45,058 You should be very proud. 1021 00:28:49,146 --> 00:28:49,188 It's been a long time since I fucked an artsy type. 1022 00:28:49,188 --> 00:28:51,690 It's been a long time since I fucked an artsy type. 1023 00:29:03,619 --> 00:29:03,660 Let me guess. 1024 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,913 Let me guess. 1025 00:29:05,913 --> 00:29:05,954 You don't know art, but you know what you like? 1026 00:29:05,954 --> 00:29:08,415 You don't know art, but you know what you like? 1027 00:29:10,292 --> 00:29:10,334 I like Magritte, Cezanne and Johns. 1028 00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:13,795 I like Magritte, Cezanne and Johns. 1029 00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:13,837 Hmm. 1030 00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:15,881 Hmm. 1031 00:29:15,881 --> 00:29:15,923 I did go to college. 1032 00:29:15,923 --> 00:29:17,716 I did go to college. 1033 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:19,301 And I also like your stuff. 1034 00:29:19,301 --> 00:29:20,844 And I also like your stuff. 1035 00:29:20,844 --> 00:29:20,886 You also like my mother. 1036 00:29:20,886 --> 00:29:23,222 You also like my mother. 1037 00:29:23,222 --> 00:29:23,263 Yes, I do. 1038 00:29:23,263 --> 00:29:25,140 Yes, I do. 1039 00:29:25,140 --> 00:29:25,182 Don't you have one of your own? 1040 00:29:25,182 --> 00:29:26,850 Don't you have one of your own? 1041 00:29:29,603 --> 00:29:29,645 That's not why I like her. 1042 00:29:29,645 --> 00:29:31,396 That's not why I like her. 1043 00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:31,438 I like her because she's... 1044 00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:34,483 I like her because she's... 1045 00:29:34,483 --> 00:29:34,525 ..beautiful... (Sighs) 1046 00:29:34,525 --> 00:29:36,485 ..beautiful... (Sighs) 1047 00:29:36,485 --> 00:29:36,527 ..intelligent, sexy. 1048 00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:38,445 ..intelligent, sexy. 1049 00:29:38,445 --> 00:29:38,487 Have you fucked her? 1050 00:29:38,487 --> 00:29:39,947 Have you fucked her? 1051 00:29:41,532 --> 00:29:41,573 I don't think that concerns you. 1052 00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,575 I don't think that concerns you. 1053 00:29:43,575 --> 00:29:43,617 As they say, 25 goes into 50 a lot more than 50 goes into 25. 1054 00:29:43,617 --> 00:29:47,246 As they say, 25 goes into 50 a lot more than 50 goes into 25. 1055 00:29:47,246 --> 00:29:47,287 Except in your case. 1056 00:29:47,287 --> 00:29:49,122 Except in your case. 1057 00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:49,164 (Chuckles) 1058 00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:50,958 (Chuckles) 1059 00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:50,999 Although to be fair, he's not quite that old, is he? 1060 00:29:50,999 --> 00:29:53,418 Although to be fair, he's not quite that old, is he? 1061 00:29:59,049 --> 00:29:59,091 She's an adult. So am I. 1062 00:29:59,091 --> 00:30:00,926 She's an adult. So am I. 1063 00:30:00,926 --> 00:30:00,968 She's free to love whoever she pleases 1064 00:30:00,968 --> 00:30:03,011 She's free to love whoever she pleases 1065 00:30:03,011 --> 00:30:03,053 without her child's approval. 1066 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:04,638 without her child's approval. 1067 00:30:04,638 --> 00:30:04,680 I'm her son. And I'm an adult. 1068 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:08,100 I'm her son. And I'm an adult. 1069 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:08,141 OK. Then act like one. 1070 00:30:08,141 --> 00:30:10,102 OK. Then act like one. 1071 00:30:15,649 --> 00:30:15,691 Who knew there were so many hot Jewish men in the world? 1072 00:30:15,691 --> 00:30:18,193 Who knew there were so many hot Jewish men in the world? 1073 00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:18,235 Jesus Christ! You already sound like Yentl. 1074 00:30:18,235 --> 00:30:20,988 Jesus Christ! You already sound like Yentl. 1075 00:30:20,988 --> 00:30:21,029 Dr and Mrs Adam Bernstein. How's that sound? 1076 00:30:21,029 --> 00:30:25,075 Dr and Mrs Adam Bernstein. How's that sound? 1077 00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:25,117 Mazel tov. 1078 00:30:25,117 --> 00:30:27,077 Mazel tov. 1079 00:30:27,077 --> 00:30:27,119 Can I borrow you for a moment? 1080 00:30:27,119 --> 00:30:28,871 Can I borrow you for a moment? 1081 00:30:28,871 --> 00:30:28,912 I was in the middle of a conversation. 1082 00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,539 I was in the middle of a conversation. 1083 00:30:30,539 --> 00:30:30,581 Yeah, well, Theodore can regale you with his tales of the yeshiva later. 1084 00:30:30,581 --> 00:30:34,585 Yeah, well, Theodore can regale you with his tales of the yeshiva later. 1085 00:30:38,589 --> 00:30:38,630 Well, what is it? 1086 00:30:38,630 --> 00:30:40,257 Well, what is it? 1087 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:41,842 I just wanted you to know 1088 00:30:41,842 --> 00:30:43,427 I just wanted you to know 1089 00:30:43,427 --> 00:30:43,468 that if it makes you happy being a Stepford fag, 1090 00:30:43,468 --> 00:30:47,472 that if it makes you happy being a Stepford fag, 1091 00:30:47,472 --> 00:30:47,514 then I say...go for it. 1092 00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:49,892 then I say...go for it. 1093 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:52,102 Be the biggest Stepford fag in the world. It's fine with me. 1094 00:30:52,102 --> 00:30:54,897 Be the biggest Stepford fag in the world. It's fine with me. 1095 00:30:58,734 --> 00:30:58,775 What's that supposed to be, an apology? 1096 00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,777 What's that supposed to be, an apology? 1097 00:31:02,362 --> 00:31:02,404 I mean it. 1098 00:31:02,404 --> 00:31:03,989 I mean it. 1099 00:31:03,989 --> 00:31:04,031 Aren't you afraid I'm going to infect you? 1100 00:31:04,031 --> 00:31:05,657 Aren't you afraid I'm going to infect you? 1101 00:31:09,161 --> 00:31:09,203 Look, just because we've been friends our whole lives 1102 00:31:09,203 --> 00:31:11,622 Look, just because we've been friends our whole lives 1103 00:31:11,622 --> 00:31:11,663 doesn't mean we have to stay friends. 1104 00:31:11,663 --> 00:31:13,207 doesn't mean we have to stay friends. 1105 00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:16,585 Especially since we no longer have anything in common. 1106 00:31:16,585 --> 00:31:20,422 Especially since we no longer have anything in common. 1107 00:31:22,216 --> 00:31:22,257 So, why don't we just admit that the Brian and Mikey Show is over 1108 00:31:22,257 --> 00:31:26,345 So, why don't we just admit that the Brian and Mikey Show is over 1109 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:26,386 and get on with our lives? 1110 00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:28,096 and get on with our lives? 1111 00:31:42,569 --> 00:31:42,611 Scotch? 1112 00:31:42,611 --> 00:31:44,738 Scotch? 1113 00:31:44,738 --> 00:31:44,780 Well, I don't usually like my drinks straight, but... 1114 00:31:44,780 --> 00:31:47,658 Well, I don't usually like my drinks straight, but... 1115 00:31:49,785 --> 00:31:49,826 Sorry I got you fired. 1116 00:31:49,826 --> 00:31:51,495 Sorry I got you fired. 1117 00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:51,537 Hmm...I may have lost my job, 1118 00:31:51,537 --> 00:31:54,289 Hmm...I may have lost my job, 1119 00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:54,331 but after our screen kiss, 1120 00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:56,667 but after our screen kiss, 1121 00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:56,708 at least no-one can say I'm sexless. 1122 00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:58,669 at least no-one can say I'm sexless. 1123 00:31:58,669 --> 00:31:58,710 (Chuckles) Thanks to me. 1124 00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:01,588 (Chuckles) Thanks to me. 1125 00:32:01,588 --> 00:32:01,630 Yeah! Whatever possessed you? 1126 00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:04,550 Yeah! Whatever possessed you? 1127 00:32:07,094 --> 00:32:07,135 It's the first rule of the game. 1128 00:32:07,135 --> 00:32:08,887 It's the first rule of the game. 1129 00:32:08,887 --> 00:32:08,929 Always protect your team-mates. 1130 00:32:08,929 --> 00:32:11,473 Always protect your team-mates. 1131 00:32:11,473 --> 00:32:11,515 And since we now play for the same team, 1132 00:32:11,515 --> 00:32:13,809 And since we now play for the same team, 1133 00:32:13,809 --> 00:32:13,851 I was covering your ass. 1134 00:32:13,851 --> 00:32:15,686 I was covering your ass. 1135 00:32:16,937 --> 00:32:16,979 And paying back Raymond Oswald. 1136 00:32:16,979 --> 00:32:18,939 And paying back Raymond Oswald. 1137 00:32:21,316 --> 00:32:21,358 He was this kid in high school. 1138 00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:23,026 He was this kid in high school. 1139 00:32:23,026 --> 00:32:23,068 Effeminate. Total fag. 1140 00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:24,945 Effeminate. Total fag. 1141 00:32:24,945 --> 00:32:24,987 I know the type. (Chuckles) 1142 00:32:24,987 --> 00:32:26,738 I know the type. (Chuckles) 1143 00:32:28,198 --> 00:32:28,240 My buddies and I made his life miserable. 1144 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,577 My buddies and I made his life miserable. 1145 00:32:31,577 --> 00:32:31,618 Taunted him. Beat him until he cried. 1146 00:32:31,618 --> 00:32:35,664 Taunted him. Beat him until he cried. 1147 00:32:36,999 --> 00:32:37,040 He finally transferred to another school. 1148 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,876 He finally transferred to another school. 1149 00:32:40,002 --> 00:32:40,043 I always felt... 1150 00:32:40,043 --> 00:32:41,712 I always felt... 1151 00:32:41,712 --> 00:32:41,753 ..awful... 1152 00:32:41,753 --> 00:32:44,715 ..awful... 1153 00:32:44,715 --> 00:32:44,756 ..for what I did to him. 1154 00:32:44,756 --> 00:32:47,676 ..for what I did to him. 1155 00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:47,718 Because secretly I knew, 1156 00:32:47,718 --> 00:32:49,928 Because secretly I knew, 1157 00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:49,970 even though he and I may have been different on the outside, 1158 00:32:49,970 --> 00:32:53,307 even though he and I may have been different on the outside, 1159 00:32:53,307 --> 00:32:53,348 on the inside, we were the same. 1160 00:32:53,348 --> 00:32:55,392 on the inside, we were the same. 1161 00:32:57,811 --> 00:32:57,853 So I guess you could say you're my atonement 1162 00:32:57,853 --> 00:33:01,148 So I guess you could say you're my atonement 1163 00:33:01,148 --> 00:33:01,190 for what I did to Raymond Oswald. 1164 00:33:01,190 --> 00:33:02,941 for what I did to Raymond Oswald. 1165 00:33:07,946 --> 00:33:07,988 My hero. 1166 00:33:07,988 --> 00:33:09,615 My hero. 1167 00:33:14,036 --> 00:33:14,077 So, now that you're finally out, how do you feel? 1168 00:33:14,077 --> 00:33:17,289 So, now that you're finally out, how do you feel? 1169 00:33:22,503 --> 00:33:22,544 Horny. 1170 00:33:22,544 --> 00:33:24,046 Horny. 1171 00:33:30,427 --> 00:33:30,469 Oh! 1172 00:33:30,469 --> 00:33:32,137 Oh! 1173 00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:44,608 (Emmett laughs) 1174 00:33:44,608 --> 00:33:46,485 (Emmett laughs) 1175 00:33:50,906 --> 00:33:50,948 I love football! 1176 00:33:50,948 --> 00:33:52,866 I love football! 1177 00:34:11,051 --> 00:34:11,093 (Gasps) SHIT! 1178 00:34:11,093 --> 00:34:13,595 (Gasps) SHIT! 1179 00:34:13,595 --> 00:34:13,637 You want to wake the children? 1180 00:34:13,637 --> 00:34:15,556 You want to wake the children? 1181 00:34:15,556 --> 00:34:15,597 (Laughs) I'm sure I woke the dead. 1182 00:34:15,597 --> 00:34:17,474 (Laughs) I'm sure I woke the dead. 1183 00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:17,516 You scared the fucking crap out of me! 1184 00:34:17,516 --> 00:34:20,519 You scared the fucking crap out of me! 1185 00:34:20,519 --> 00:34:20,561 Sorry. 1186 00:34:20,561 --> 00:34:22,187 Sorry. 1187 00:34:22,187 --> 00:34:22,229 What are you, uh, sitting in the dark for? 1188 00:34:22,229 --> 00:34:25,566 What are you, uh, sitting in the dark for? 1189 00:34:25,566 --> 00:34:25,607 I felt like it. 1190 00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:27,234 I felt like it. 1191 00:34:46,420 --> 00:34:46,461 Any more cocoa? I just made enough for me. 1192 00:34:46,461 --> 00:34:48,922 Any more cocoa? I just made enough for me. 1193 00:34:50,382 --> 00:34:50,424 It's after 3:00. 1194 00:34:50,424 --> 00:34:52,134 It's after 3:00. 1195 00:34:52,134 --> 00:34:52,176 Yeah, I got tied up. 1196 00:34:52,176 --> 00:34:54,094 Yeah, I got tied up. 1197 00:34:54,094 --> 00:34:54,136 Oh. Satin or leather? 1198 00:34:54,136 --> 00:34:55,929 Oh. Satin or leather? 1199 00:34:55,929 --> 00:34:55,971 Talking. 1200 00:34:55,971 --> 00:34:57,639 Talking. 1201 00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:00,184 I don't need to explain, make excuses or apologise. 1202 00:35:00,184 --> 00:35:03,228 I don't need to explain, make excuses or apologise. 1203 00:35:03,228 --> 00:35:03,270 Those are the rules. 1204 00:35:03,270 --> 00:35:04,897 Those are the rules. 1205 00:35:04,897 --> 00:35:04,938 That we both agreed to. Did you forget you had a family? 1206 00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:07,566 That we both agreed to. Did you forget you had a family? 1207 00:35:07,566 --> 00:35:07,608 Well...you're here. 1208 00:35:07,608 --> 00:35:09,776 Well...you're here. 1209 00:35:09,776 --> 00:35:09,818 I came home right after the show. 1210 00:35:09,818 --> 00:35:11,653 I came home right after the show. 1211 00:35:11,653 --> 00:35:11,695 Which was great, by the way. We both enjoyed it. 1212 00:35:11,695 --> 00:35:14,489 Which was great, by the way. We both enjoyed it. 1213 00:35:15,657 --> 00:35:15,699 I'm so glad. 1214 00:35:15,699 --> 00:35:18,160 I'm so glad. 1215 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:18,202 Listen, next time I promise I'll call, OK? 1216 00:35:18,202 --> 00:35:20,829 Listen, next time I promise I'll call, OK? 1217 00:35:22,998 --> 00:35:23,040 I wouldn't worry about next time. 1218 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,000 I wouldn't worry about next time. 1219 00:35:26,168 --> 00:35:26,210 This whole in-house separation isn't working. At least, not for me. 1220 00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:29,796 This whole in-house separation isn't working. At least, not for me. 1221 00:35:29,796 --> 00:35:29,838 It's for people who are obviously more sophisticated - 1222 00:35:29,838 --> 00:35:32,966 It's for people who are obviously more sophisticated - 1223 00:35:32,966 --> 00:35:33,008 or heartless - than I am. 1224 00:35:33,008 --> 00:35:34,635 or heartless - than I am. 1225 00:35:36,178 --> 00:35:36,220 So, what do you suggest? 1226 00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:38,222 So, what do you suggest? 1227 00:35:40,974 --> 00:35:41,016 That we sell the house. 1228 00:35:41,016 --> 00:35:42,768 That we sell the house. 1229 00:35:42,768 --> 00:35:42,809 Get two separate places. 1230 00:35:42,809 --> 00:35:44,686 Get two separate places. 1231 00:35:44,686 --> 00:35:44,728 Sell the house? 1232 00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:46,271 Sell the house? 1233 00:35:46,271 --> 00:35:46,313 Why should you live here while I'm in some crummy apartment? 1234 00:35:46,313 --> 00:35:48,774 Why should you live here while I'm in some crummy apartment? 1235 00:35:48,774 --> 00:35:48,815 We're not selling the house. Then YOU move out. 1236 00:35:48,815 --> 00:35:52,486 We're not selling the house. Then YOU move out. 1237 00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:54,696 Fine. You want to sell the house? 1238 00:35:54,696 --> 00:35:56,782 Fine. You want to sell the house? 1239 00:35:56,782 --> 00:35:56,823 Divide everything up fifty-fifty? 1240 00:35:56,823 --> 00:35:58,408 Divide everything up fifty-fifty? 1241 00:36:00,244 --> 00:36:00,285 What about this vase? Don't make fun of me. 1242 00:36:00,285 --> 00:36:03,038 What about this vase? Don't make fun of me. 1243 00:36:03,038 --> 00:36:03,080 Who was making fun? It's yours. 1244 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,499 Who was making fun? It's yours. 1245 00:36:05,499 --> 00:36:05,541 You sure? I gave it to you. 1246 00:36:05,541 --> 00:36:08,001 You sure? I gave it to you. 1247 00:36:08,001 --> 00:36:08,043 Remember? For one of our anniversaries? 1248 00:36:08,043 --> 00:36:10,879 Remember? For one of our anniversaries? 1249 00:36:10,879 --> 00:36:10,921 Well, I don't want it. 1250 00:36:10,921 --> 00:36:12,548 Well, I don't want it. 1251 00:36:12,548 --> 00:36:12,589 Yeah? Neither do I. 1252 00:36:12,589 --> 00:36:14,216 Yeah? Neither do I. 1253 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:17,761 Why did you do that? One less thing to wrap and move. 1254 00:36:17,761 --> 00:36:20,764 Why did you do that? One less thing to wrap and move. 1255 00:36:22,266 --> 00:36:22,307 Then why don't we get rid of...this? 1256 00:36:22,307 --> 00:36:26,061 Then why don't we get rid of...this? 1257 00:36:26,061 --> 00:36:26,103 That's my mother's Depressionware candy dish. 1258 00:36:26,103 --> 00:36:28,105 That's my mother's Depressionware candy dish. 1259 00:36:28,105 --> 00:36:28,146 It's about to get more depressed. 1260 00:36:28,146 --> 00:36:30,148 It's about to get more depressed. 1261 00:36:30,148 --> 00:36:30,190 You... Give it to me! 1262 00:36:30,190 --> 00:36:31,859 You... Give it to me! 1263 00:36:31,859 --> 00:36:31,900 Hands off me! 1264 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,735 Hands off me! 1265 00:36:33,735 --> 00:36:33,777 SMASH! 1266 00:36:33,777 --> 00:36:35,571 SMASH! 1267 00:36:35,571 --> 00:36:35,612 Goddamn you! Goddamn you! 1268 00:36:35,612 --> 00:36:38,031 Goddamn you! Goddamn you! 1269 00:36:38,031 --> 00:36:38,073 (Both grunt) 1270 00:36:38,073 --> 00:36:40,075 (Both grunt) 1271 00:36:49,418 --> 00:36:49,459 You bitch! 1272 00:36:49,459 --> 00:36:51,920 You bitch! 1273 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:51,962 Oh! Arggh! 1274 00:36:51,962 --> 00:36:53,547 Oh! Arggh! 1275 00:36:53,547 --> 00:36:53,589 (Both grunt) 1276 00:36:53,589 --> 00:36:55,549 (Both grunt) 1277 00:37:11,356 --> 00:37:11,398 Oh...oh! Oh! 1278 00:37:11,398 --> 00:37:14,526 Oh...oh! Oh! 1279 00:37:14,526 --> 00:37:14,568 Oh...oh! (Breathes heavily) 1280 00:37:14,568 --> 00:37:17,571 Oh...oh! (Breathes heavily) 1281 00:37:23,410 --> 00:37:23,452 (Both moan ecstatically) 1282 00:37:23,452 --> 00:37:26,538 (Both moan ecstatically) 1283 00:37:31,710 --> 00:37:31,752 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 1284 00:37:31,752 --> 00:37:34,838 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 1285 00:37:34,838 --> 00:37:34,880 (Both grunt with exertion) 1286 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,925 (Both grunt with exertion) 1287 00:37:42,888 --> 00:37:42,930 (Breathes heavily) (Moans) 1288 00:37:42,930 --> 00:37:45,974 (Breathes heavily) (Moans) 1289 00:37:52,481 --> 00:37:52,523 I don't care if you're the next Picasso. 1290 00:37:52,523 --> 00:37:54,858 I don't care if you're the next Picasso. 1291 00:37:54,858 --> 00:37:54,900 That does not give you the right to be rude. 1292 00:37:54,900 --> 00:37:57,319 That does not give you the right to be rude. 1293 00:37:57,319 --> 00:37:57,361 How was I rude? 1294 00:37:57,361 --> 00:37:59,363 How was I rude? 1295 00:37:59,363 --> 00:37:59,404 I only asked him a few questions. 1296 00:37:59,404 --> 00:38:01,740 I only asked him a few questions. 1297 00:38:01,740 --> 00:38:01,782 Like if he's fucking me?! 1298 00:38:01,782 --> 00:38:03,617 Like if he's fucking me?! 1299 00:38:03,617 --> 00:38:03,659 More coffee? No, thank you. 1300 00:38:03,659 --> 00:38:05,369 More coffee? No, thank you. 1301 00:38:05,369 --> 00:38:05,410 I'll have some. 1302 00:38:05,410 --> 00:38:06,870 I'll have some. 1303 00:38:08,622 --> 00:38:08,664 Thank you. 1304 00:38:08,664 --> 00:38:10,207 Thank you. 1305 00:38:10,207 --> 00:38:10,249 What kind of a question was that? 1306 00:38:10,249 --> 00:38:12,876 What kind of a question was that? 1307 00:38:12,876 --> 00:38:12,918 I was merely looking out for your best interests. 1308 00:38:12,918 --> 00:38:15,003 I was merely looking out for your best interests. 1309 00:38:16,839 --> 00:38:16,880 You don't think that maybe you were feeling threatened 1310 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,551 You don't think that maybe you were feeling threatened 1311 00:38:20,551 --> 00:38:20,592 because there's another man in my life? 1312 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,469 because there's another man in my life? 1313 00:38:22,469 --> 00:38:22,511 I was not feeling threatened. 1314 00:38:22,511 --> 00:38:24,096 I was not feeling threatened. 1315 00:38:24,096 --> 00:38:24,137 Honey, Tucker is the first man I've gone out with 1316 00:38:24,137 --> 00:38:27,891 Honey, Tucker is the first man I've gone out with 1317 00:38:27,891 --> 00:38:27,933 since your father left me. 1318 00:38:27,933 --> 00:38:29,434 since your father left me. 1319 00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:29,476 That's a long time. 1320 00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:31,311 That's a long time. 1321 00:38:32,396 --> 00:38:32,437 Don't you think I'm entitled to be with someone? 1322 00:38:32,437 --> 00:38:34,690 Don't you think I'm entitled to be with someone? 1323 00:38:34,690 --> 00:38:34,731 Someone appropriate. 1324 00:38:34,731 --> 00:38:36,233 Someone appropriate. 1325 00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:36,275 Someone your own age. 1326 00:38:36,275 --> 00:38:37,818 Someone your own age. 1327 00:38:37,818 --> 00:38:37,860 Oh! That's really funny, coming from you. 1328 00:38:37,860 --> 00:38:41,822 Oh! That's really funny, coming from you. 1329 00:38:41,822 --> 00:38:41,864 Mom, I was 17. 1330 00:38:41,864 --> 00:38:44,157 Mom, I was 17. 1331 00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:44,199 You're... 1332 00:38:44,199 --> 00:38:46,076 You're... 1333 00:38:46,076 --> 00:38:46,118 You're my mother. You should know better. 1334 00:38:46,118 --> 00:38:48,287 You're my mother. You should know better. 1335 00:38:51,123 --> 00:38:51,164 You know, when you first started seeing Brian, 1336 00:38:51,164 --> 00:38:54,918 You know, when you first started seeing Brian, 1337 00:38:54,918 --> 00:38:54,960 I admit I had trouble - a lot of trouble. 1338 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,671 I admit I had trouble - a lot of trouble. 1339 00:38:58,922 --> 00:38:58,964 But eventually I realised 1340 00:38:58,964 --> 00:39:01,008 But eventually I realised 1341 00:39:01,008 --> 00:39:01,049 that if he made you happy, was good to you, 1342 00:39:01,049 --> 00:39:04,511 that if he made you happy, was good to you, 1343 00:39:04,511 --> 00:39:04,553 that's all that really mattered. 1344 00:39:04,553 --> 00:39:06,305 that's all that really mattered. 1345 00:39:08,098 --> 00:39:08,140 Well, now it's your turn. Hmm? 1346 00:39:08,140 --> 00:39:11,143 Well, now it's your turn. Hmm? 1347 00:39:16,106 --> 00:39:16,148 MAN: This is not a time for complacency or silence. 1348 00:39:16,148 --> 00:39:19,818 MAN: This is not a time for complacency or silence. 1349 00:39:19,818 --> 00:39:19,860 The battle lines have been drawn. 1350 00:39:19,860 --> 00:39:21,528 The battle lines have been drawn. 1351 00:39:21,528 --> 00:39:21,570 It's up to every American to declare which side they're on. 1352 00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:24,156 It's up to every American to declare which side they're on. 1353 00:39:24,156 --> 00:39:24,198 The side that recognises homosexuality 1354 00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:26,658 The side that recognises homosexuality 1355 00:39:26,658 --> 00:39:26,700 as an acceptable lifestyle 1356 00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,368 as an acceptable lifestyle 1357 00:39:28,368 --> 00:39:28,410 and wants to reward their deviant behaviour 1358 00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:31,205 and wants to reward their deviant behaviour 1359 00:39:31,205 --> 00:39:31,246 by giving them the most sacred right that a man and woman have - 1360 00:39:31,246 --> 00:39:33,916 by giving them the most sacred right that a man and woman have - 1361 00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:33,957 the right to marry... 1362 00:39:33,957 --> 00:39:35,417 the right to marry... 1363 00:39:35,417 --> 00:39:35,459 Do you hear what he's saying? 1364 00:39:35,459 --> 00:39:37,002 Do you hear what he's saying? 1365 00:39:37,002 --> 00:39:37,044 ..or the side that is determined to uphold the values 1366 00:39:37,044 --> 00:39:39,171 ..or the side that is determined to uphold the values 1367 00:39:39,171 --> 00:39:39,213 on which this great Christian country was founded... 1368 00:39:39,213 --> 00:39:41,215 on which this great Christian country was founded... 1369 00:39:41,215 --> 00:39:41,256 When did we become a Christian country? 1370 00:39:41,256 --> 00:39:42,758 When did we become a Christian country? 1371 00:39:42,758 --> 00:39:42,799 ..to defend the family and to protect our children. 1372 00:39:42,799 --> 00:39:44,635 ..to defend the family and to protect our children. 1373 00:39:44,635 --> 00:39:44,676 Why do they always make it on family and children? 1374 00:39:44,676 --> 00:39:46,720 Why do they always make it on family and children? 1375 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:46,762 Like, gay people don't have families and children, too?! 1376 00:39:46,762 --> 00:39:48,597 Like, gay people don't have families and children, too?! 1377 00:39:48,597 --> 00:39:48,639 Maybe we should punch his fucking lights out. 1378 00:39:48,639 --> 00:39:50,974 Maybe we should punch his fucking lights out. 1379 00:39:50,974 --> 00:39:51,016 That's not how we get our message across - by starting fights. 1380 00:39:51,016 --> 00:39:54,603 That's not how we get our message across - by starting fights. 1381 00:39:57,397 --> 00:39:57,439 WOMAN: Please vote for Proposition 14. 1382 00:39:57,439 --> 00:39:59,483 WOMAN: Please vote for Proposition 14. 1383 00:40:03,028 --> 00:40:03,070 I have this thing for Sichuan beef. 1384 00:40:03,070 --> 00:40:05,239 I have this thing for Sichuan beef. 1385 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:05,280 Oh, me too. Love it. 1386 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,033 Oh, me too. Love it. 1387 00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:08,075 Can't get enough of it. 1388 00:40:08,075 --> 00:40:09,952 Can't get enough of it. 1389 00:40:09,952 --> 00:40:09,993 What else can't you get enough of? 1390 00:40:09,993 --> 00:40:11,954 What else can't you get enough of? 1391 00:40:19,962 --> 00:40:20,003 That. 1392 00:40:20,003 --> 00:40:21,547 That. 1393 00:40:21,547 --> 00:40:21,588 You know, I never put too much stock in those mixers at Woody's. 1394 00:40:21,588 --> 00:40:25,217 You know, I never put too much stock in those mixers at Woody's. 1395 00:40:26,510 --> 00:40:26,552 I mainly went to confirm my conviction 1396 00:40:26,552 --> 00:40:28,178 I mainly went to confirm my conviction 1397 00:40:28,178 --> 00:40:28,220 that nothing would ever come of it. 1398 00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:30,222 that nothing would ever come of it. 1399 00:40:30,222 --> 00:40:30,264 That is so pessimistic. 1400 00:40:30,264 --> 00:40:33,308 That is so pessimistic. 1401 00:40:33,308 --> 00:40:33,350 It's not pessimistic, it's, uh... it's Jewish. 1402 00:40:33,350 --> 00:40:35,936 It's not pessimistic, it's, uh... it's Jewish. 1403 00:40:35,936 --> 00:40:35,978 Huh. 1404 00:40:35,978 --> 00:40:37,437 Huh. 1405 00:40:37,437 --> 00:40:37,479 But this time it worked out. 1406 00:40:37,479 --> 00:40:40,691 But this time it worked out. 1407 00:40:40,691 --> 00:40:40,732 For me too. 1408 00:40:40,732 --> 00:40:42,484 For me too. 1409 00:40:45,487 --> 00:40:45,529 Mind if I ask you a personal question? 1410 00:40:45,529 --> 00:40:47,489 Mind if I ask you a personal question? 1411 00:40:47,489 --> 00:40:47,531 Do I ever have sex on the first date? Mmm. How'd you guess? 1412 00:40:47,531 --> 00:40:50,659 Do I ever have sex on the first date? Mmm. How'd you guess? 1413 00:40:50,659 --> 00:40:50,701 Depends how it goes. 1414 00:40:50,701 --> 00:40:52,661 Depends how it goes. 1415 00:40:52,661 --> 00:40:52,703 How would you say this is going? 1416 00:40:52,703 --> 00:40:54,371 How would you say this is going? 1417 00:41:01,503 --> 00:41:01,545 Ah! 1418 00:41:01,545 --> 00:41:03,046 Ah! 1419 00:41:05,883 --> 00:41:05,924 (Breathes heavily) 1420 00:41:05,924 --> 00:41:09,011 (Breathes heavily) 1421 00:41:17,603 --> 00:41:17,644 Everything alright down there? 1422 00:41:17,644 --> 00:41:19,563 Everything alright down there? 1423 00:41:19,563 --> 00:41:19,605 Frankly, no. 1424 00:41:19,605 --> 00:41:21,106 Frankly, no. 1425 00:41:21,106 --> 00:41:21,148 What's wrong? 1426 00:41:21,148 --> 00:41:23,025 What's wrong? 1427 00:41:24,193 --> 00:41:24,234 You're not Jewish. 1428 00:41:24,234 --> 00:41:25,777 You're not Jewish. 1429 00:41:25,777 --> 00:41:25,819 I never said I was. 1430 00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:27,863 I never said I was. 1431 00:41:27,863 --> 00:41:27,905 But you were at the mixer. 1432 00:41:27,905 --> 00:41:29,698 But you were at the mixer. 1433 00:41:29,698 --> 00:41:29,740 I wanted to meet a nice Jewish guy. 1434 00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:31,909 I wanted to meet a nice Jewish guy. 1435 00:41:31,909 --> 00:41:31,950 So did I. 1436 00:41:31,950 --> 00:41:33,493 So did I. 1437 00:41:36,455 --> 00:41:36,496 Oh...well...look, I mean... 1438 00:41:36,496 --> 00:41:39,249 Oh...well...look, I mean... 1439 00:41:39,249 --> 00:41:39,291 Why let a little thing like my not being Jewish 1440 00:41:39,291 --> 00:41:42,586 Why let a little thing like my not being Jewish 1441 00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:42,628 ruin what could be a beautiful relationship? 1442 00:41:42,628 --> 00:41:45,964 ruin what could be a beautiful relationship? 1443 00:41:45,964 --> 00:41:46,006 Because I want a Jewish husband. 1444 00:41:46,006 --> 00:41:48,008 Because I want a Jewish husband. 1445 00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:48,050 I want to settle down, carry on traditions, heritage. 1446 00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:51,303 I want to settle down, carry on traditions, heritage. 1447 00:41:51,303 --> 00:41:51,345 Well, I-I'll have the surgery. Uh...more surgery. 1448 00:41:51,345 --> 00:41:55,015 Well, I-I'll have the surgery. Uh...more surgery. 1449 00:41:55,015 --> 00:41:55,057 Uh, I'll, uh...I'll convert. 1450 00:41:55,057 --> 00:41:57,684 Uh, I'll, uh...I'll convert. 1451 00:41:57,684 --> 00:41:57,726 Huh? Elizabeth Taylor did it. Marilyn Monroe. Sammy Davis Jr... 1452 00:41:57,726 --> 00:42:02,064 Huh? Elizabeth Taylor did it. Marilyn Monroe. Sammy Davis Jr... 1453 00:42:02,064 --> 00:42:02,105 Look. 1454 00:42:02,105 --> 00:42:03,649 Look. 1455 00:42:03,649 --> 00:42:03,690 You're a nice guy, Ted. 1456 00:42:03,690 --> 00:42:05,692 You're a nice guy, Ted. 1457 00:42:05,692 --> 00:42:05,734 You're just not a nice Jewish guy. 1458 00:42:05,734 --> 00:42:07,861 You're just not a nice Jewish guy. 1459 00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:12,241 Uh... 1460 00:42:12,241 --> 00:42:13,742 Uh... 1461 00:42:16,328 --> 00:42:16,370 Hey, Deb, listen to this. 1462 00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:18,413 Hey, Deb, listen to this. 1463 00:42:19,706 --> 00:42:19,748 "And then the unthinkable happened. 1464 00:42:19,748 --> 00:42:22,334 "And then the unthinkable happened. 1465 00:42:22,334 --> 00:42:22,376 "Drew Boyd, hero to millions of fans, 1466 00:42:22,376 --> 00:42:25,045 "Drew Boyd, hero to millions of fans, 1467 00:42:25,045 --> 00:42:25,087 "planted one on Channel Five's Queer Guy. 1468 00:42:25,087 --> 00:42:27,714 "planted one on Channel Five's Queer Guy. 1469 00:42:27,714 --> 00:42:27,756 "It was the kiss heard round the world. 1470 00:42:27,756 --> 00:42:30,509 "It was the kiss heard round the world. 1471 00:42:30,509 --> 00:42:30,551 "The question is, now what? 1472 00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:32,553 "The question is, now what? 1473 00:42:32,553 --> 00:42:32,594 "Will Mr Boyd still be called a hero, 1474 00:42:32,594 --> 00:42:34,263 "Will Mr Boyd still be called a hero, 1475 00:42:34,263 --> 00:42:34,304 "or will he be called a lot of less flattering things? 1476 00:42:34,304 --> 00:42:36,682 "or will he be called a lot of less flattering things? 1477 00:42:36,682 --> 00:42:36,723 "It doesn't really matter. 1478 00:42:36,723 --> 00:42:38,267 "It doesn't really matter. 1479 00:42:38,267 --> 00:42:38,308 "What matters is Drew Boyd has scored a touchdown 1480 00:42:38,308 --> 00:42:41,103 "What matters is Drew Boyd has scored a touchdown 1481 00:42:41,103 --> 00:42:41,144 "for personal courage and honesty." 1482 00:42:41,144 --> 00:42:43,647 "for personal courage and honesty." 1483 00:42:43,647 --> 00:42:43,689 Yes! 1484 00:42:43,689 --> 00:42:45,691 Yes! 1485 00:42:45,691 --> 00:42:45,732 REPORTERS CLAMOUR 1486 00:42:45,732 --> 00:42:48,777 REPORTERS CLAMOUR 1487 00:42:50,779 --> 00:42:50,821 CARL: Will you let the man in through?! 1488 00:42:50,821 --> 00:42:53,740 CARL: Will you let the man in through?! 1489 00:42:57,578 --> 00:42:57,619 I'm sorry about this. It's not your fault, honey. 1490 00:42:57,619 --> 00:42:59,872 I'm sorry about this. It's not your fault, honey. 1491 00:43:00,956 --> 00:43:00,998 Do they have to trample my fucking rose bed?! 1492 00:43:00,998 --> 00:43:03,917 Do they have to trample my fucking rose bed?! 1493 00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:03,959 Well, wait till you read this. 1494 00:43:03,959 --> 00:43:05,919 Well, wait till you read this. 1495 00:43:05,919 --> 00:43:05,961 You're going to be so proud. 1496 00:43:05,961 --> 00:43:08,046 You're going to be so proud. 1497 00:43:08,046 --> 00:43:08,088 I've been suspended. 1498 00:43:08,088 --> 00:43:10,465 I've been suspended. 1499 00:43:10,465 --> 00:43:10,507 What? 1500 00:43:10,507 --> 00:43:12,301 What? 1501 00:43:12,301 --> 00:43:12,342 Why?! 1502 00:43:12,342 --> 00:43:13,844 Why?! 1503 00:43:13,844 --> 00:43:13,886 You weren't driving drunk. 1504 00:43:13,886 --> 00:43:16,096 You weren't driving drunk. 1505 00:43:16,096 --> 00:43:16,138 You didn't rape anybody. You weren't making illegal bets. 1506 00:43:16,138 --> 00:43:18,640 You didn't rape anybody. You weren't making illegal bets. 1507 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:18,682 All you did was... Deb! 1508 00:43:18,682 --> 00:43:20,184 All you did was... Deb! 1509 00:43:20,184 --> 00:43:20,225 What? We know what he did. 1510 00:43:20,225 --> 00:43:22,352 What? We know what he did. 1511 00:43:27,274 --> 00:43:27,316 My coach says it's for my own good. 1512 00:43:27,316 --> 00:43:29,735 My coach says it's for my own good. 1513 00:43:31,195 --> 00:43:31,236 In case my team-mates try to injure me. 1514 00:43:31,236 --> 00:43:33,238 In case my team-mates try to injure me. 1515 00:43:34,823 --> 00:43:34,865 I thought you were supposed to look out for each other. 1516 00:43:34,865 --> 00:43:37,743 I thought you were supposed to look out for each other. 1517 00:43:40,287 --> 00:43:40,329 So did I. 1518 00:43:40,329 --> 00:43:42,080 So did I. 1519 00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:49,796 You're being awfully diligent. 1520 00:43:49,796 --> 00:43:52,007 You're being awfully diligent. 1521 00:43:52,007 --> 00:43:52,049 It's our home. 1522 00:43:52,049 --> 00:43:54,676 It's our home. 1523 00:43:54,676 --> 00:43:54,718 I want everything to be perfect. 1524 00:43:54,718 --> 00:43:57,763 I want everything to be perfect. 1525 00:43:57,763 --> 00:43:57,804 You're in it. That's perfect enough for me. 1526 00:43:57,804 --> 00:44:00,057 You're in it. That's perfect enough for me. 1527 00:44:01,433 --> 00:44:01,475 That is the most cloyingly sentimental remark 1528 00:44:01,475 --> 00:44:04,311 That is the most cloyingly sentimental remark 1529 00:44:04,311 --> 00:44:04,353 I have every heard. 1530 00:44:04,353 --> 00:44:05,896 I have every heard. 1531 00:44:05,896 --> 00:44:05,938 I'd throw up if I didn't love every word of it. 1532 00:44:05,938 --> 00:44:08,398 I'd throw up if I didn't love every word of it. 1533 00:44:11,276 --> 00:44:11,318 Aw. Come on in. It's cold. 1534 00:44:11,318 --> 00:44:13,445 Aw. Come on in. It's cold. 1535 00:44:13,445 --> 00:44:13,487 Wait. Hold on. 1536 00:44:13,487 --> 00:44:15,239 Wait. Hold on. 1537 00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:15,280 I've just got to do one last thing. 1538 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,949 I've just got to do one last thing. 1539 00:44:26,959 --> 00:44:27,000 There. 1540 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,794 There. 1541 00:46:08,852 --> 00:46:08,894 Surprised to see you here. 1542 00:46:08,894 --> 00:46:10,896 Surprised to see you here. 1543 00:46:11,939 --> 00:46:11,980 I wanted to ask you a question. 1544 00:46:11,980 --> 00:46:13,482 I wanted to ask you a question. 1545 00:46:16,026 --> 00:46:16,068 Why did you apologise? 1546 00:46:16,068 --> 00:46:18,654 Why did you apologise? 1547 00:46:18,654 --> 00:46:18,695 I guess I miss you. 1548 00:46:18,695 --> 00:46:20,822 I guess I miss you. 1549 00:46:25,869 --> 00:46:25,911 You still love me? 1550 00:46:25,911 --> 00:46:27,829 You still love me? 1551 00:46:29,414 --> 00:46:29,456 Always have. 1552 00:46:29,456 --> 00:46:30,958 Always have. 1553 00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:34,795 Always will. 1554 00:46:34,795 --> 00:46:36,296 Always will. 1555 00:46:38,715 --> 00:46:38,757 So do I. 1556 00:46:38,757 --> 00:46:40,467 So do I. 1557 00:46:43,595 --> 00:46:43,637 I said, you look like you need a friend to talk to. So do I. 1558 00:46:43,637 --> 00:46:46,682 I said, you look like you need a friend to talk to. So do I. 1559 00:46:48,934 --> 00:46:48,976 Is there a hotline for that? 1560 00:46:48,976 --> 00:46:50,727 Is there a hotline for that? 1561 00:46:52,396 --> 00:46:52,437 In a pinch, you'll do. 1562 00:46:52,437 --> 00:46:55,065 In a pinch, you'll do. 1563 00:46:55,065 --> 00:46:55,107 My date was a bust. 1564 00:46:55,107 --> 00:46:56,859 My date was a bust. 1565 00:47:00,153 --> 00:47:00,195 What went wrong? 1566 00:47:00,195 --> 00:47:01,989 What went wrong? 1567 00:47:03,907 --> 00:47:03,949 You could say I didn't make the cut. 1568 00:47:03,949 --> 00:47:05,993 You could say I didn't make the cut. 1569 00:47:08,412 --> 00:47:08,453 You'll live. 1570 00:47:08,453 --> 00:47:10,038 You'll live. 1571 00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:13,542 Gee, I don't know how you do it. 1572 00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:15,502 Gee, I don't know how you do it. 1573 00:47:15,502 --> 00:47:15,544 You always know the right thing to say. 1574 00:47:15,544 --> 00:47:17,504 You always know the right thing to say. 1575 00:47:23,135 --> 00:47:23,177 Get you a drink? 1576 00:47:23,177 --> 00:47:24,928 Get you a drink? 1577 00:47:24,928 --> 00:47:24,970 That's very thoughtful of you, Theodore. 1578 00:47:24,970 --> 00:47:27,055 That's very thoughtful of you, Theodore. 1579 00:47:27,055 --> 00:47:27,097 Don't mind if I do. 1580 00:47:27,097 --> 00:47:28,640 Don't mind if I do. 1581 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:28,682 Get yourself one of those girlie things you like so much. 1582 00:47:28,682 --> 00:47:32,895 Get yourself one of those girlie things you like so much. 1583 00:47:32,895 --> 00:47:32,936 On me. 1584 00:47:32,936 --> 00:47:34,855 On me. 1585 00:47:34,855 --> 00:47:34,897 Thanks, Bri. 1586 00:47:34,897 --> 00:47:36,815 Thanks, Bri. 1587 00:47:36,815 --> 00:47:36,857 Anything... 1588 00:47:36,857 --> 00:47:38,317 Anything... 1589 00:47:40,986 --> 00:47:41,028 ..for a friend. 1590 00:47:41,028 --> 00:47:42,529 ..for a friend. 1591 00:48:59,648 --> 00:48:59,731 1592 00:48:59,731 --> 00:49:04,820 117989