All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s02e02 I Am Curious Cooper

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day And suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it With each glance and every

movement you show it Love is all around,
no need to waste it You can never

tell, why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

And so the state legislature passed a
bill to bolster Minnesota's slacking

tourist trade.

The governor is expected to sign the
bill just as soon as he returns from his

fishing vacation in Canada.

Now let's hear the latest ball scores
from Wally Arnold and the sports. Point

Wally. No.

No. Don't say point to Wally.

Point to Wally.

to work in any business during that
business trip, did you?

Oh, no, not too much. Things are pretty
slow around here.

Oh, yeah? Does anyone happen to remember
this morning's memo about personal

phone calls during business hours?

Murray? Well, how could we forget?

It isn't often you see the words don't,
no, not, never, and forbid in the same

sentence. It's one of my favorites.

As a matter of fact, I saved it.

My boss is standing here staring at me.

Yes, sir. I was just wondering if you'd
mind stepping into my office for a

minute. Oh, yes, sir. When you're
finished with your call, of course.

I'm finished.

It's for you.

It's your friend, Mike Cooper. He can't
remember where the card game is tonight.

I'd better take that in my office.

He'll be right with you.

No, I never met him. What's he like?

Well, I don't know.

Well, I do, but I don't.

But, well, it's hard to explain.

No, it isn't. You do, but you don't, but
you do. I understand.

Oh, Murray, come on, really. What I
mean, I just, I've never met him in

I've only met his voice.

Well, what's his voice like?

Interesting.

Be prepared to be disappointed.

When I first came to the station, there
was a guy that sounded great on the

phone. But when I met him, he turned out
to be a complete and utter dud.

Who was that?

Hi, guys.

Speak of the dog.

Say, Mayor, you know that rating graph
that you've been working on, the one

shows how well we're doing against the
competition?

Ah, yes, Ted, I have it. Yeah, here it
is. The red line is us.

Hey, we're on top.

No, uh, Ted.

Who believes in those dumb ratings
anyway?

The people on the top.

I happen to know Mr. Grant's friend, uh,
Mr. Cooper.

Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.

Three Coopers and you're out, Ted.

Wait a minute, that's Lou's friend,
isn't it?

Uh, yeah.

What's he look like?

Well, I don't know. That's, uh, why I'm
asking you. Well, Mary, you're gonna

have to give me a better hint than that.

Mike, I don't know if she's over 5 '5".
I don't pay attention to stuff like

that.

Yeah, you bet she's attractive.

Stuff like that I pay attention to.

Listen.

We got a little rule around here.

We never indulge in personal phone calls
during business hours.

So can we get this conversation back to
business?

Good.

Now, the poker game tonight is at
Walden's.

8 .30.

And it's your turn to bring the dip.

Yes, sir. There was something I wanted
to see you about. What was it?

That I shouldn't make a...

Personal phone calls. Oh, yeah, that's
right.

Was there something else I wanted to see
you about? Oh, well, no.

Um, yes.

I was curious.

Uh, Mike Cooper. Oh, no, you don't. I'm
not fixing you up with Mike Cooper.

I didn't say that I wanted to be fixed
up with him. What's wrong with Mike

Cooper?

Yeah, he's... Everyone's crazy about
him. He's a big lawyer.

He makes $50 ,000 a year.

Mary, you quit pumping me.

I'm not pumping you. I just always
thought that he sounded very nice on the

phone. Well, let's keep it that way.

Well, sure.

Let's keep it that way. Okay.

Okay.

I'll tell you why, and then you'll know
why I don't fix people up.

When I was in college, I had a best
friend named Warren Tucker.

Tucker and I were this close.

Then I fixed him up with a girl I knew.
I figured they'd hit it off real good.

But it didn't work out.

They got married.

Just say that it... It was a rotten
marriage.

If I hadn't meddled and gotten those two
together, Warren Tucker might be a

happy man today.

Mary, I can't run the risk of messing up
Mike Cooper's life by introducing him

to you.

It's me.

Hi, Mary.

You know the best thing about going on a
diet? Going off a diet.

This will be the first food I have had
in two weeks that is not green and

Now just hang in there, kid. When the
buzzer goes off, the lobster is ready.

10 ,000 calories.

Screaming to get out and eat to my body.

There has got to be a better way to
celebrate losing weight than stuffing

yourself.

middle of dinner or anything.

Um, no.

Dinner is served.

Well, not in the middle.

Uh,

Rhoda, you know Mr. Grant.

Oh, sure. Hiya, Lou.

Uh,

would you like something to eat?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Got any scotch?

Uh, sure.

Uh,

you sure you don't want anything to go
with it?

Yeah, maybe I'd better.

Put a little ice in it.

Well, this is certainly an unexpected
pleasure.

What brings you here tonight?

I wanted to talk to you, Mary, before I
went to my poker game tonight.

What are you doing?

Making a drink.

That's not how you make a drink.

Give me that.

Here's how you make a drink.

started thinking on the way to my card
game tonight.

Well, I said a very foolish thing in the
office today.

Oh, what foolish thing was that, Mr.
Grant?

I was full -headed, selfish,
insensitive. You know how I am. Oh, yes.

Mary, I'm going to break my rule for
you.

Which rule?

By not fixing people up with Mike Cooper
rule.

Mike Cooper is probably the most
eligible bachelor in the Twin Cities.

He's a big lawyer, he's available, and
Mary's had her eye on him for a long

time, and that's why I'm going to break
my rule.

Mr. Grant, you don't have to break your
rule. Hey, hey, I didn't do all this

thinking and come all the way over here
to break my rule just so you can tell me

not to break my rule. I came here to
break my rule, and I'm going to break my

rule.

Look, both you and Mike are a couple of
my favorite people.

And, uh...

Well, it just feels right.

Like me being single.

Look, you, me, and Mike will have lunch
together tomorrow just to get

acquainted. Okay?

Okay.

Thanks for the meal.

Don't get up.

Bye -bye, girls.

Goodbye, Mr. Graham. So long, Lou.

Mary!

You know.

Don't you think it's a little, uh...
Right.

Mary Cooper.

Oh, come on, Rhoda. Just another blind
date. Probably nothing will come of it.

Really?

Rhoda Cooper.

Lunchtime.

Anyone want to join me for teriyaki,
Mayor?

Oh. Thanks, Ted. I'd love to, but I've
got a date for lunch.

Oh. How about you, Murray?

You want to root for a little
teriyakarini for lunch today?

Ted, there aren't any Japanese
restaurants around here.

Well, I know that.

Chef Leroy made some beef teriyaki on
his show today. Can't you smell it? It's

in all the halls.

Oh, gee, Ted, I'd love to join you, but
I brought my lunch today.

Oh. Oh, that's okay. That means it'll
just be more for me.

Well, I think I'll take my lunch break.

I'll be at Bill's Big Burger if anyone
wants me.

I thought you said you brought your
lunch. Oh, no.

I always keep a dummy lunch for when Ted
asks.

I'll see you, ma 'am.

What's that big stink in the hall?

Beef teriyaki.

Chef Leroy put it on his shelf today.

Boy, that Leroy.

One time he made corned beef and cabbage
and he had to evacuate the whole

building.

Mary? Yes, sir.

You're not wearing my purple dress.

Oh, yes, I know. It's in the cleaners.
But, uh, well, isn't this one okay?

Yeah, but it just isn't a purple one.
That's all.

Newsroom?

Yes.

Yes, I will. I'll have him call.

Not at all.

That was Mr. Cooper's office. They want
him to call as soon as he gets here. And

why are you straightening my desk?

Huh? Oh, well, when Mike gets here, I
don't want him to think you're sloppy.

Oh, Mr. Cooper.

Lunch. There's no need to...

Bite!

Well,

here she is.

Mary Richards.

Mary, this is Mike Cooper. Mike Cooper,
this is Mary Richards.

Hi. Hi. Oh, Mr. Cooper, your office
called. They'd like you to call them

away. You can use my phone. Right in
here, Mike.

Right in here, pal.

Well, how do you like him so far?

Well, he's very... Oh, you're darn right
he is.

Now, by the way, may you call him Mr.
Cooper?

Mike. Right.

The client was busy. I'll call him
later.

Later means from his car.

Oh, come on. The man has a phone in his
car. How many guys do you know who can

make a call from their car?

My cousin can.

He's probably a big lawyer, too. No,
he's a big cop.

Well, what would you kids like to have
for lunch?

Oh, well, I'll leave that up to you. All
right, you decide, Mike. Come on.

You know, it's the strangest thing. Ever
since I got off the elevator, I've had

this craving for beef teriyaki.

I'll have a sukiyaki.

Okay.

What?

I'll have beef teriyaki.

Your English is much better.

Thank you.

I was trying to impress you. How am I
doing?

Sounded very good to me.

Halfway through, I realized I'd never be
able to order the whole meal in

Japanese, but it was too late to turn
back.

What a guy.

Gee, this is a fun place to eat.

Bet you didn't even think I could find a
Japanese restaurant. I think the long

drive was worth it.

What town are we in, anyway?

Yokohama.

on display or something. Why don't we
change the subject? Let's talk about

Then you can say, what a girl.

What a guy.

So, Mike, what do you think?

Is he even nicer than you pictured her
on the phone?

No. But I pictured her pretty good.

Well, you see her in a purple dress.

Mary, what do you think of Mike?

You can see this isn't going to be an
easy one. I think you may be right.

Something wrong? What is it? What's
wrong? Lou, everything is fine if you

relax.

You're absolutely right. Okay.

I'll relax and I won't say anything.

What do you mean you won't say anything?

We don't want you to just sit there and
not say anything.

Mr. Grant, we want you to say something.

No, no, no. I've been doing all the
talking.

I want you two to talk.

That must be fascinating.

Yeah, it really is. I love it.

Courtroom drama is so interesting.

Yeah, it must be. I haven't been in a
courtroom in three years.

Last time I was in a courtroom, I was
fighting my own speeding ticket.

I lost.

Anybody at this table have black folder
or sedan in parking lot license MRV291?

It's me.

Your car is ringing.

Is Mike picking you up?

Oh, I don't know. About ten minutes, I
guess.

Mary, I'm depressed because I don't have
a date. You're depressed because you

do. Is there any hope for us?

I'm not really depressed. I'm just not
really excited.

Oh, it's one of those, huh?

Yeah. And it's really too bad. You know,
he's such a nice guy.

He's charming. He's witty. It's just,
there's nothing between us. Not even a

wall, huh?

Nothing.

part of it is that all day long at the
office, Mr. Grant is giving me little

winks and smiles like he knows
something's happening.

And the only thing that's happening is
nothing's happening.

I think your problem is Mr. Grant.

I think you're right. Every time Mike
and I are out, the conversation always

works its way around to Mike saying,
gee, Lou sure is a great guy and I

counter with, he sure is.

And we end up spending the rest of the
evening talking about Mr. Grant.

Mary, what happened at just one?

You and Mike didn't even talk about Mr.
Grant.

Or mention his name. Or think about him
at all.

That might be a little difficult.

Why? Because we're having dinner at Mr.

Grant's.

Well,

Lou sure is a great guy, isn't he? Oh,
he sure is.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Yeah, that's fine.

You know, you've really fixed this place
up nice, Mary. Oh, thank you.

Hey, Lou's fixed his place up nice,
hasn't he? Yeah, he sure is a great guy.

Yeah, he sure is.

Mary, um... Lou's taken quite an
interest in us, hasn't he?

Oh, yes.

Sometimes I think that, uh...

He's taken more of an interest in us
than we have in each other.

How are we going to tell him?

Tell him what?

That you have no more interest in me
than... Oh, no.

I wouldn't... Wait a minute. I haven't
finished.

Than I have in you.

Oh. Now, don't get me wrong. You're a
pretty, attractive, intelligent girl.

But you're not...

my type.

Well,

what do you know?

It's kind of a relief, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Hey, Mike?

Yeah? Why aren't I your type?

I'm like kind of an older woman, more
seasoned, more meat and potatoes, you

what I mean?

You're more like, you're like dessert,
see?

Fluffy dessert.

I'm not fluffy.

You are in your purple dress.

Hey, you know, this is the longest
conversation we've had since I've known

where we didn't mention Lou Grant.

Yeah, he sure is. He sure is.

Mary,

we've got two options.

We are going to have to tell him as soon
as possible that we are not interested

in each other.

or we're going to have to get married
just to keep from hurting his feet.

Boy,

it's going to be really hard to tell
him.

I think the earlier we do it, the easier
it'll be. Oh, yeah, it has to be right

away. How about, uh, first thing
tomorrow morning?

Perfect. I can't be there.

I have to go to court.

I thought you said you never went to
court.

Got another speeding ticket.

Morning, Murray.

Morning, Mayor.

Mr. Grand in yet?

No. I can tell because my feet are up on
my desk.

Good morning.

Now he's in.

Get home okay?

Uh, yes.

Good. Mr.

Grant. Huh?

Could I see you for a minute?

Sure. Well, no, uh, in there.

Sure.

You know, Mary, Edie thought you and
Mike looked perfect together.

And believe me, she knows.

She knows.

Hey, what are you two doing tonight?

Nothing. Good.

Why don't the two of you join us? The
reason we're doing nothing is that Mr.

Cooper and I... Mike! No!

Mr. Cooper.

You aren't having your first fight, are
you? No, Mr. Grant. It's nothing as

serious as all that.

Good. We're just not seeing each other
anymore.

What? Mr. Grant, it just didn't work out
between us. There was no magic.

Magic. What do you want him to do?

Pull a rabbit out of a hat?

No, Mr. Grant.

Do snappy card tricks?

No, Mr. Grant.

Make your little heart go pity pat?

Mr.

Grant, what I'm trying to say is that
when I'm out with Mr. Cooper on a date,

it's like being out with you.

Something wrong with that?

Let me put it another way. I think
that...

One of the reasons that you like Mr.
Cooper so much is that he's so much like

you, which is why I like him so much.
But I just don't feel any attraction for

him, just like I don't feel any
attraction for... Let me put that

Now, you put it enough ways.

Mary, you don't seem to understand.

I don't do this.

I broke the rule for you.

I went out on a limb.

for you two.

At least you could give that limb a
chance to grow and to blossom before you

up there and hack it off.

I didn't hack it off. I gave it a
chance.

Giving it a chance takes time, Mary.

Mrs. Grant and I have been giving it a
chance for 26 years.

We know that one of these days it's
going to work out.

You wouldn't get so excited. Of course
I'm excited. You just said my best

isn't good enough for you. You don't...

What does he know? Get him on the phone.

Get him.

Oh, hello. I said on the phone.

But you had to be in court.

I pleaded guilty. It's quicker.

Well, did Mary... We took it bad.

Just tell me one thing.

What's wrong with her?

Just one thing.

She's too fat, Lou. Huh?

Lou, look, we appreciate your concern,
but take my word for it. As a friend and

a lawyer, it just didn't work out.

Was it something I did?

Oh, no, Mr. Grant, you did everything
you could.

More. I did too much, didn't I? It's my
fault.

Lou, will you stop whipping yourself?
It's over. It's all over.

Are you sure you two kids know what
you're doing?

Have you thought it over?

This is a big decision you're making.

They're grown -ups.

Then you're not mad at me or anything,
huh?

Oh, Mr. Grant, no. We thought it was
very sweet of you to... Sweet?

That's right, Lou. Don't fight it. You
are sweet.

Oh, cut it out.

I, uh... I guess you won't be able to
use these then, huh?

Oh, two tickets to the hockey game.

Isn't that... Sweet.

Well, I get a couple of free passes. Now
what am I going to do with him? Hey,

Mike. You want to go with me?

Sure. We can go out and get a few belts
before the game.

As a matter of fact, we don't even have
to go out before the game. I've got

belts right here in my office.

We don't even have to go to the game at
all. Hey, that's a great idea.

Listen, I've got to go to work.

Well, I'll be talking to you.

I'll be looking forward to it.

Here, Mary, you take these.

You were supposed to go in the first
place.

Alone?

Call my wife. She's probably not doing
anything.

Newsroom?

Well, hiya, stranger.

I haven't heard from you in a long time.

How you been?

Oh, not too much. Things are pretty slow
around here.

Come on, come on, come on. Let me talk
to her.

Just a second. There's someone here
wants to talk to you.

It's my father.