All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s01e23 Smokey The Bear Wants You

How will you make it on your own?

This world is awfully big. Girl, this
time you're all alone.

But it's time you started living.

It's time you let someone else do some
giving.

Love is all around, no need to waste it.
You can have it down, why don't you

take it?

You might just make it after long You

might just make it

Chuck, it was really nice meeting you.
We have to do it again sometime.

Yes, I'd like that. Well, I'll see you
again.

Bye -bye.

Is it too soon to be again?

No, of course not. Come on in. We don't
mind. If your wife doesn't.

What makes you think I'm married?

Anybody who looks like you has got to be
married.

Really? How do I look?

Great. What do you think, man?

I think that I don't know why we're
talking about whether or not he's

Even though he hasn't told us whether or
not he is.

Well, I'm not.

Sit down, Chuck.

Thank you again for the lift.

I really thought we were going to spend
the night in the gas station waiting for

her car to be fixed. I don't know what
I'm going to do about that car, ma 'am.

Three new batteries in two weeks.

I'm getting sick of driving into gas
stations and saying, a gallon of

and a new battery, please.

Well, I'll tell you, your car may not be
much, but you've certainly fixed your

apartment up great. Thank you.

We like it.

How long you lived here?

About eight months.

You see, Chuck, I moved in first.

Now, that's beautiful.

Yeah, we like it. You can see almost the
entire skyline of downtown Minneapolis.

Oh, yeah, I didn't notice that.

was looking at maple tree out there oh
yes every morning we go out there on a

little balcony and get a fresh maple
syrup for our pancakes but i guess

really interested in simple old
-fashioned girls anymore uh listen uh

of pancakes would anyone like a cup of
coffee we grinded ourselves no thanks

really i've got to get going i'm a
little late for a meeting now would uh

you like to have dinner with me saturday
night

I realize it's short notice. Oh, no, no.
Short notice is when he asks me Sunday

morning for Saturday night.

Chuck, I would love to have dinner with
you.

Well, great. How's 8 o 'clock?

It's a nice hour.

Well, it's nice meeting you, Mary.

Nice meeting you. And thank you again
for the ride. My pleasure.

I'll see you Saturday night, huh? Yeah,
Saturday, Chuck. Bye.

Mary, did you notice what just happened
here?

Well, let's see.

You mean you accepted a date?

An extremely attractive person had a
choice of asking two women out, you and

And he chose me.

That doesn't happen too often.

Well, I guess he just prefers the old
-fashioned type.

And this apartment, why did you tell him
it was ours?

Mary, a guy like that walks in here and
admires the place. You want me to tell

him it's not mine?

Rhoda, that's not exactly honest.

What do you mean, not exactly honest?
It's a lie.

I'm kidding for a minute because I'd
like to say something. What?

No, I wouldn't.

Because if I do say something about
whether or not you should go out with

I know that you're going to think that
I'm... Jealous.

No, not at all.

But honestly, Rhoda, how much do you
know about him?

Look, it's not like it was a pickup in a
bar.

Okay, so we met him at a gas station.

It wasn't just any gas station. They
still name brand gasoline there.

Okay, forget it. I'm sorry I mentioned
it.

You know, though, Mayor, there is one
little thing I'd like to know about

What's that?

His religion.

Makes a difference to you? You bet it
does.

I have to convert by Saturday night.

Okay, people, cut to work. I got an
announcement to make.

I just found out we're going to be
preempted tonight.

And the first guy that says no news is
good news is fired.

What happened, Lou?

Well, the parade we're carrying is
running late.

Last count, there were still 12 floats,
22 celebrity convertibles, and five high

school bands to go.

Why is it running so late?

They made the mistake of putting the
senior citizens band in front.

Preempted by a crummy parade.

Don't worry about being preempted, Ted.
It's not me I'm worried about, it's my

poor TV viewers.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were kidding.

What's happening with Rhoda and that
guy? Are they still dating?

Oh, you mean Chuck?

Yeah. Yeah. Are they still going to
those expensive places for lunch and

Well, Murray, I'm sure Mr. Grant isn't
interested in all this.

Don't worry about me. I'm not even
listening.

Do you know that she still hasn't told
him that we're not roommates?

Last night I... I had to go to a movie I
didn't want to see just because he was

coming over for dinner. No kidding?
What's the movie?

That's not the point, Ted.

What is the point?

The point is that she is very interested
in him and I would be delighted for her

except that one thing bothers me. What's
that, Mary?

Well, he keeps spending all this money
on her and he doesn't seem to do

for a living.

You know, I have examined myself, very
honestly, trying to figure out whether I

am suspicious because I'm genuinely
concerned or, you know, a little

Well, why don't you talk to Rhoda about
it? I can't do that. I mean, she already

thinks that I'm a little jealous, but
I'm not. I just honestly don't want to

her get hurt.

Okay.

Okay.

Some of this I couldn't help
overhearing.

Why? Because I am the father of three
daughters.

And once in a while, one of them would
bring home a boy I felt sure was up to

good. Used to drive me crazy wondering
what was going on. Just drove me right

the wall.

But I learned three things.

I learned that you have to let people
make their own mistakes.

I learned that I was wrong about almost
every suspicion I had.

I learned how to follow somebody in a
car without being spotted.

not to be living here when he shows up.

Hey, Rhoda, how much longer is this
going to go on being our place?

Listen, Mira, I'm going to tell him
soon. I'm waiting for the right moment.

Do you have any turpentine at your
apartment?

What do you mean, up at my apartment?
This is my apartment.

Do you have any turpentine? Sure. I use
it to take my makeup off.

Why do I have turpentine? I don't know.
I just need it. Well, why don't you call

an online turpentine store? Maybe
they'll deliver.

Mary, look, before Chuck gets here, I've
got to ask you something.

Do you ever take gifts from the guys
you're dating?

Well, it depends. You know, like what?

Like a... Well, like a... Like a car.

A car?

He gave you a car?

No, he didn't give me a car.

He offered me a car.

A used car.

His car.

Used?

It's worth three other cars new.

Look, it's not as wild as it sounds. He
had a reason.

What reason could he have for offering
you his car?

I said I liked it.

Rhoda, look, I hope you don't think that
I'm being overly concerned, but I think

that offering you a car is not normal.

That's what I thought, Mayor. And there
have been some other things I've been

worried about, too. Like what?

Well, like he asked me, does it make any
difference what he does for a living?

I said, of course not, lying through my
teeth.

The way I figure it, any man who says,
does it make any difference what I do

a living, is probably not a United
States senator.

All right, well, let's try to figure it
out. Now, who has lots of money and

plenty of free time and can't even
mention what his work is? Mary, I have

up with that one all night long, and I
can only come up with two occupations,

spying and organized crime.

Okay. All right. I know he's not a spy.

I'm as sure of that as I am that he is
in organized crime.

Oh, no. Think about it, Mia.

He drives a foreign car.

Black.

He's spending a lot of money.

A lot.

And he never seems to work.

Besides that, he's always going off to
meetings somewhere.

Well, now, that's something.

Organized criminals do meet a lot, don't
they? To plan and everything.

Right. My feeling. No, I can't be.

I don't know what I'm being so picky
about. Back home in New York, anybody

on bail was considered to be a
professional man.

Hi. Sorry I'm a little late.

Hi, Mary. How are you? Good. Fine,
thanks. And you?

Good. Fine, thanks.

You don't have any turpentine with you,
do you?

Just ran out.

You were painting that?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's wood.

Wood is so beautiful. I mean, it
probably took about 100 years for it to

that way.

You're just going to slop gunk all over
it? Uh -uh. No, I won't. I won't do

that. Well, I mean, you can.

No, no, I won't.

It's just my... You should put a little
natural stain on it. Natural stain. I'll

do that.

Oh, listen, Rhoda, I promised somebody
I'd stop by and say hello tonight.

Besides, I'd like you two to meet each
other. Okay. Who is it? My Uncle Frank.

Well, he's not really my uncle, but he's
an old friend of the family.

My godfather.

Your godfather.

You don't mind, do you? Oh, no, no, of
course not. It should be interesting.

I don't think we'd be back too late,
Mary.

Bye, kid.

Bye. See ya.

Mary?

Oh, she always seems to be here.

Yeah, that's the trouble with having
roommates.

You want a drink?

Boy, you got any scotch? I'll check.

Okay. Would you like some music?

Yeah, music.

How do you turn this thing on?

I don't know.

You don't know how to turn on your own
record player?

Oh, well, see, Mary does that.

Sure, we divide up the work around here.
I do the vacuuming and laundry. She

turns on the record player.

Did you say scotch? Well, whatever.

Her liquor?

Oh, well, yeah.

See, we each have our own supply, and
I'm out.

Well, it doesn't matter. I mean, I
didn't really want anything anyway.

Your godfather is really nice.

Yeah, he liked you too, I could tell.
How could you tell? Well, he talked

his work so much. He never does that.

That sort of runs in your family.

Okay, I guess I've been keeping it from
you long enough.

If you want to keep it from me a little
longer, that's all right. No, no, no. If

you don't want to see me anymore after
I've told you, I'll understand.

Chuck, it would have to be pretty bad.

Sit down.

Okay.

Well, you see, now, for the last ten
years, I worked for and I was finally

a vice president of the Hercules
Lawnmower and Snowblower Company.

You should have been honest with me in
the beginning. I would have broken it

right then.

You know, I must admit it occurred to
me. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle

the night. It would hit me.

Maybe he's a vice president of a
lawnmower snowblower corporation.

That's big no -go to put it out of your
mind. It can't be. Not that.

Are you finished?

Yeah, I'm finished.

May I continue?

Mm -hmm. Would you sit down?

Now, one night a couple of months ago, I
noticed that sales of our number 62

combined mower blowers were down 1%. And
I was upset. I mean, I was really

upset. I was taking my fourth antacid
pill when it hit me.

I mean, what's the difference how many
Hercules mower blowers are sold in

Minneapolis? Offhand, I can't answer
that question.

Well, I can't either. That's why I quit.
Quit?

A job that had to pay, what, $20 ,000?
$30 ,000?

Yeah. I quit a couple of months ago, and
now my vacation is almost over because

I've got just about enough money left to
do what I've always wanted to do since

I was a kid.

Buy out a candy store. Don't do it. I
did it last week. It's not all it's

up to be.

Okay, I won't interrupt you again,
Chuck. I promise.

I'm going to go back to college.

All right.

For two years.

Okay. Because I want to get another
degree.

Terrific.

So that I can become a forest ranger.

Rhoda?

Eucalyptus.

Well, you think I'm crazy for doing
this, don't you? No, I don't think

crazy. As long as forest rangers make
$30 ,000 a year. No, it's more like $9

,000. You're crazy.

Look, I don't want to spend the rest of
my life worrying about how to turn a 4 %

profit into a 6 % profit.

I can understand how you feel, Chuck. I
really can.

You can?

What I can understand is why you feel
you have to do something about it.

Well, why don't you try it before you
put it down?

you try a thing like that? Well, look,
I'm going on a camping trip this

Come with me. Oh, gee, Chuck. Oh, come
on. It's just one weekend in the woods.

Uh, listen, I can, uh, I can come back
later.

Oh, no, no, Mary. Look, uh, as a matter
of fact, why don't you come with us,

too? A bunch of us are going on a
camping trip this weekend.

Hey, see, that sounds like fun.

I haven't gone camping in years.

You mean you did that one time? Oh,
sure.

Well, I'd better go now.

Look, Rhoda, I'll call you tomorrow
about the hike, huh? Yeah, about the

Paul. Good night, Mary. Good night.

Come, you'll enjoy it. Okay. Good night,
Chuck.

Goodbye, Chuck.

I should have known.

Rhoda Pellegrini. Just doesn't sound
right.

Okay, what'd you find out? What does he
do? What?

He's a forest freak, that's what.

Just because he asked you to go on a
hike? No.

Because he just gave up a vice
presidency of a big company to go back

to study to become, get this, a forest
ranger.

A forest ranger?

Why?

He had some stupid idea about being
happy.

Why? Why could I have met him five years
ago? By now I could have had him so far

in debt he couldn't even think about
being a forest ranger.

I stand around in towers and look
through, you know, for forest fires.

Yeah. That's it?

I don't know.

Can you imagine me living up in a tree
house with a guy in a boy scout hat?

Think of the exciting evenings where
Chuck is there pressing leaves into a

Or when we have Smokey the Bear over for
dinner.

Hey, Rhoda, this is really a guy you
like, right?

Oh, yeah.

Good point.

Okay, kid. I'm going to try it. The
hike.

Maybe he's on to something good for you.

Oh, Mary.

What? All that fresh air. My lungs have
been raised on exhaust fumes and

industrial waste. I'm not sure they can
take the shock.

Tonight, this reporter will be at the
Twin Cities German -American Society to

serve as a judge in the annual potato
pancake contest.

This is Ted Baxter wishing you out there
in television land a wonderful weekend.

And to all my German friends, auf
Wiedersehen.

Oh, boy.

Now that he's demolished English, he's
branching out.

Oh, Mary, Marie wanted me to ask you
over for Sunday brunch.

Oh, gee, Marie, I'd love to, but I
can't. I'm going on an overnight hike.

Hey, not bad for making up a quick
excuse.

Oh, it's not an excuse. I really am
going hiking.

And who are you going hiking with?

With Rhoda and Chuck and some of his
friends.

Chuck? Isn't that the same guy you were
so suspicious about?

Yeah. It turns out he's an executive
who's dropped out and is going back to

college to become a forest ranger.

You have to admire him for that.

You know, if I didn't have a wife and
kids... Yeah?

I probably still wouldn't do it.

All right, guys.

Speaking of dropouts...

different with your life, you know,
anything at all, what would you do? Oh,

do a lot of things. I'd climb some of
the world's great peaks.

I'd build a little kind of raft and sell
it to Tahiti.

Wallpaper my rec room.

But when you're married, you learn to
compromise.

How about you, Mr. Grant?

Me?

I'm happy just doing what I'm doing.

I'm happy running this newsroom and I'm
happy telling people that this

conversation doesn't interest me.

Well, wait a minute. Don't I get a
chance?

Sure, Ted. What would you do?

You mean if I could be anything I wanted
to be? Right, anything.

I'd be Cary Grant.

That's a person. We are talking about a
way of life.

I understand.

What else is new?

Good night. See you on Monday.

Happy hiking.

We'll fight our scene, Mayor.

Now, look, Ted, just forget about a
specific person. Now, what would you

do if you dropped out?

You mean if I couldn't be Cary Grant?

Right. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't
given it much thought.

I guess I'd be a king.

off my clothes.

Oh, boy, Mary, I ache all over.

You want some help?

No, I think I can ache all by myself.

You know, you probably wouldn't be so
exhausted if you hadn't carried all that

extra junk with you. The makeup case,
all the extra clothes.

You're the only girl in the hike who
dressed for dinner.

It's true, but you'll never know the
thrill of having a raccoon watch you

change.

because I missed it.

Why do people hike?

You learned something about survival,
didn't you? I learned about survival in

the New York subway.

Okay, Rhoda, but a forest is a lot
prettier than a subway. It depends on

stuff.

Oh, Mary, let's face it. I just didn't
fit in with that group of Chuck's

friends. All those tall, Nordic, Amazon
girls with the long, blonde hair and

rosy cheeks.

Wait a minute.

My cheeks do get a little rosy, don't
they?

And your personality is definitely
blonde.

They know what you mean about Chuck's
friends, though. You know, I don't think

I've ever been in a group of eight where
three of the men were named Sven.

First last night around the campfire,
you gotta admit, that was kind of fun,

singing the old camp song.

Oh, yeah, sitting around a fire singing
a hundred bottles of beer on the wall.

Wouldn't have been so bad if when we'd
finally gotten down... and the one

of beer on the wall, one of those Sven's
haven't yelled, one more time!

I want wildlife.

I want wildlife, not wildlife.

Hi, Rhoda here.

Just barely.

Come on in. I was just leaving.

Rhoda, if you want me, I'll be upstairs
at...

Florence's. Who?

Florence's.

Oh, oh, yeah, Florence.

Uh, listen, uh, you didn't have so much
fun on the hike, huh?

What makes you say that?

Because you kept telling me how much you
hated it.

I was right.

Chances are, if we do it again, you
won't like it any better.

Actually, I think I'll like it worse.

And it's not... really terribly
appealing to a girl like you to be going

with a 35 -year -old student, is it?

Especially when that student's
determined to become a forest ranger.

We, uh, don't seem to have too much
going for us, do we?

I guess not.

Maybe I'd better just bow out of the
picture, then. I didn't say that. Did

hear me say that? I don't think a person
in this room heard me say that. I mean,

I don't want you to bow out. Is that
clear to you? I want you to bow out.

We have totally different values. Let's
not try to change one another.

Let's just accept each other as we are.
Huh? And see what happens.

See what happens?

Uh, Florence isn't home.

And, uh, I don't know where she keeps
her key.

Do you know where Florence keeps her
key? Yeah.

As a matter of fact, Mary, it's very
lucky I happen to have a duplicate.

Good. Her key. Right.

Bye.

Hey, Chuck.

Was it really all that bad being vice
president of the Hercules Lawnmower

Snowblower Company?

That don't answer me. I promise myself I
would never, ever ask you that

question.

But was it really that bad?

tree root rot?

No? No, I guess not.

What are you making faces?

There is nothing wrong with acquainting
oneself with the various parasites which

present our National Park Service with
one of its biggest problems.

Besides, it works two ways.

Uh, Rhoda, are you working on getting
Chuck to go back into lawnmowers?

No. I would never attempt to change his
interest in trees.

Just trying to redirect it a little.

Do you know how much money there is in
lumber?

I'm not kidding.

Or what? Also around something he loves.

Mellow the wood and everything?

Yeah.