All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s01e06 Support Your Local Mother
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1
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:12,720
How will you make it on your own?
2
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:22,600
This world is awfully big Girl, this
time you're all alone
3
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:29,460
But it's time you started living It's
time you let someone else do
4
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:36,080
some giving Love is all around, no need
to waste it You can have it down, why
5
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,900
don't you take it?
6
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:45,440
You might just make it after long You
7
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,980
might just make it
8
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:20,450
covering the riot at the prison, and I
can't locate the other one. The biggest
9
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:22,930
story of the week breaks and we're doing
a prison riot?
10
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,250
What's the story? There's a major
traffic jam.
11
00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:27,870
A major traffic... Mr.
12
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:31,790
Grant, why is a traffic jam more
important than the prison riot?
13
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,490
You are so lucky.
14
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:37,110
I am going to tell you everything I know
about news.
15
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:38,810
It's worth taking notes.
16
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,450
Oh. Don't take notes.
17
00:01:42,390 --> 00:01:45,850
Why is a traffic jam more important than
a prison riot?
18
00:01:48,010 --> 00:01:49,570
How many people would you say are in a
prison riot?
19
00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:51,730
Offhand? How many?
20
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,030
Fifty. How many in a traffic jam?
21
00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:55,470
Oh, I see.
22
00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:56,650
No, you don't.
23
00:01:57,390 --> 00:02:00,350
A lot of those people in that traffic
jam are going to go home and watch the
24
00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:01,128
news, right?
25
00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:03,890
Right. Those guys in the prison riot
aren't going to be watching the news.
26
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,530
They're either going to be over the wall
or in solitary.
27
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,630
Did you learn something? I'll find that
other crew.
28
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Is this Mr. Grant's office?
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Yes.
30
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:22,470
My name's Frank Corelli. I'll be with
you in just a minute, Mr. Corelli.
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00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:26,530
Frank. Prison, would you give me the
warden's office, please?
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00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:28,350
Yes,
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00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:31,270
can you tell me where the riot is today?
34
00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:40,230
Oh, well, as you were taking over the
office, did you happen to notice a W .J.
35
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,400
This situation has arisen. I'm sure Mr.
Grant won't be too much longer.
36
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:50,660
I got a solve for you, Lou.
37
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:55,720
How? I dug up this film of a 1952
traffic jam. All traffic jams look
38
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,300
That solution could cost us our license,
Murray.
39
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,600
We can't pull off a 1952 traffic jam as
the one we're having today. The FCC
40
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,520
takes a very dim view of that.
41
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,760
Read my lead.
42
00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:15,540
Today's traffic...
43
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was the worst since 1952.
44
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:23,230
Which, you'll all remember, looked like
this.
45
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:28,670
Murray, I love you. Get it to Ted.
46
00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,730
Mr. Grant, Mr.
47
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Corelli is here to see you.
48
00:03:34,570 --> 00:03:35,570
Frank!
49
00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:41,150
How goes it? Long time, no see. Yeah, I
didn't know you'd recognize me after all
50
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,690
these years. Are you kidding?
51
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:52,590
that ever played pro ball.
52
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:54,510
Thanks, but I was only second string.
53
00:03:55,450 --> 00:04:00,190
Hey, listen, I'd like to stay around and
chew the fat with you, but you caught
54
00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:01,690
me at a very bad time.
55
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:06,030
Why don't you tell the guys what it felt
like to play on a championship team?
56
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:07,250
Go on!
57
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,790
Well, I really don't know. You see, they
won the championship the year after I
58
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:16,170
retired. I guess it felt great.
59
00:04:16,510 --> 00:04:17,990
Well, what are you doing now, Frank?
60
00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:19,230
I'm in insurance.
61
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:27,060
I guess it's just been one of those
days.
62
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:30,320
Yeah, I guess so. Hey, I don't suppose
you'd be interested in buying some
63
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,820
insurance? Well, I don't think so, no.
64
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:38,060
Of course, you know, we could talk about
it sometime. Yeah, when?
65
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,460
When? How about tomorrow night?
Tomorrow. What's your address?
66
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:44,780
119 North... I don't have a pencil.
67
00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:51,760
119 North Weatherly. North Weatherly.
Right. Great. I shall see you tomorrow.
68
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:13,540
you'll never look better. Very funny.
69
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:19,080
Mary, I'd like to give you a chance to
atone for hanging up on me today and do
70
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:23,120
service for mankind at the same time.
She already did a service for mankind by
71
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,120
hanging up on you.
72
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:29,020
How would you... How would you both like
to help abolish capital punishment?
73
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,720
Uh, Phyllis, there's no capital
punishment in this state.
74
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:32,940
Well, that was easy.
75
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,720
Well, we can't give up the fight just
because we've won.
76
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,120
All right.
77
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,550
dinner dance next month.
78
00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:46,550
You have a dance to abolish capital
punishment?
79
00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:53,610
Well, it's not all frivolous. We do have
an electric chair on display.
80
00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,150
How do you feel if you're dancing and
the lights flicker?
81
00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:04,990
Ouch! That's all right. Get about it. I
understand.
82
00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:07,550
It's because the subject makes you
nervous.
83
00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:11,710
Even we pros have a tendency to joke
about it.
84
00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:16,870
Why, only this afternoon, a girl told us
a joke that broke us up. You'll
85
00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:18,210
appreciate this, Rhoda.
86
00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:23,130
You know what the definition of a
guillotine operator is? I'm afraid to
87
00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:30,670
A guillotine operator is a man who can
keep his head when all others around him
88
00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:31,730
are losing theirs.
89
00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:51,200
picked up the trusty old briefcase, and
here I am.
90
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:53,500
Ladies, hope I'm not late.
91
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:56,600
Well, actually, you're about 23 hours
early.
92
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,820
You mean it was supposed to be tomorrow?
93
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,040
Right. Oh, boy, am I dumb.
94
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:07,840
Well, listen, as long as you're here,
Phyllis, Rhoda, I'd like you to meet
95
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,040
Corelli. He's going to show me some life
insurance plans.
96
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:13,400
Why don't you sit down, Frank, and I'll
get you some coffee. Oh, could I have
97
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,400
some milk instead?
98
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,440
Milk, sure.
99
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:16,680
Life insurance, huh?
100
00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:18,160
Well, that leaves me out.
101
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,140
I still haven't met a beneficiary.
102
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:28,460
My husband and I are into cryonetics,
so, of course, we don't need any
103
00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:29,740
insurance. What's that?
104
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:35,220
Well, when Lars and I go, we will be
frozen.
105
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:40,460
Then, of course, when they discover a
cure for whatever it is that made us go,
106
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,360
we will be defrosted.
107
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:49,750
I think we could work out a plan where
you wouldn't have to pay the premiums
108
00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:50,750
while you're on ice.
109
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:53,850
Good thinking.
110
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:59,770
Frank, how would you like to serve
humanity by stopping capital punishment
111
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:02,430
all you have to do is buy a chance?
Yeah, a chance, sure.
112
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,370
You can win a genuine antique
guillotine.
113
00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:08,990
Just what you've always wanted, right,
Frank? For that war you never know what
114
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:09,949
to do with.
115
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,230
Oh, that'll be $10.
116
00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:12,790
$10?
117
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,030
Oh.
118
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:17,800
Well, here you go. Two fives. Oh, thank
you, Frank.
119
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,620
Oh, I must run, Mary. Here, pin this on
his snowsuit.
120
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,740
It shows he gave.
121
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:30,100
It looks like a little man with a noose
around his neck.
122
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,700
It is. When you move it, his little
tongue and eyes pop out.
123
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,039
I gotta go.
124
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,620
Don't rise. Let me give you some advice,
Frank.
125
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,159
Don't wear that if you want to sell much
life insurance.
126
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,000
Thanks for the hair set, Mary. You're
welcome.
127
00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:52,460
I'd better show you one of our whole
life plans, huh?
128
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,080
Is this a picture of you, Frank? Huh?
129
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,420
Oh, gee, I must have grabbed that by a
mistake.
130
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,540
Yeah, you see, that's sort of my
scrapbook.
131
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,160
You know, one thing's for sure. You're
never going to get a hernia lifting my
132
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,160
scrapbook.
133
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,780
You know, that's one of our old locker
room jokes.
134
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,420
No offense, madman.
135
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:20,740
No, there's nothing quite like an old
locker room.
136
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,880
Gee, this is a nice picture of you.
Thanks, that's my bubblegum card.
137
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,800
Hey, I don't think I've ever met anyone
who was on a bubblegum card before.
138
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,900
Yeah, there's some information about me
on the back.
139
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:37,640
Look at all the places you've played.
Los Angeles, Dallas, Minnesota.
140
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,040
You know, if I'd been on the first
string of the Vikings, I could have
141
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,100
restaurant when I retired.
142
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,620
Is that what you really wanted to do?
Well, it sure beats hustling insurance.
143
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,100
Yeah, owning a restaurant's a good
career.
144
00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:55,700
Or Colts 21, Lions 14, San Francisco 0,
Chicago 22.
145
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:57,880
How was I?
146
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,680
Uh, I don't know. It depends on what you
were doing.
147
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,620
Sportcasting! I'll be honest with you,
Mary. That's what I really wanted to
148
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:05,620
to Lou Grant about.
149
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,440
I heard that there was a job for a
sportscaster that was opening.
150
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:10,100
Uh, yeah, I think there is.
151
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,320
Well, how about it? Do you think you can
get me a crack at it? Well, you don't
152
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,120
need me. Mr. Grant's going to have open
auditions for the job. Yeah, well, it
153
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,410
never hurts. to have contacts these
days, Mary. Yeah, but in this case... In
154
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:23,110
fact, you gotta have a contact to get
anywhere these days. Yeah, but I don't
155
00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:24,210
think... Hey, will you be my contact?
156
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:28,110
But I... Will you be my contact? I'll be
your contact.
157
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:33,510
Uh, Mr. Grant, has the sportscaster's
job been filled yet?
158
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:38,230
Nope, but it won't be open for long.
Everybody in the state wants that job.
159
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,169
why not?
160
00:10:39,170 --> 00:10:43,430
All you have to do is stand in front of
a camera, read the scores for two and a
161
00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:46,730
half minutes, and collect 20 grand a
year.
162
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,120
I'm trying to figure out a way I can
throw the job to my wife.
163
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,360
Do you think that Frank Corelli might be
any good?
164
00:10:55,580 --> 00:11:01,240
No. But what if he came in an audition
and, I mean, just really knocked it
165
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,720
out? I mean, what if he was terrific?
166
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,080
You know, that's not a bad idea.
167
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,540
You mean seeing Frank Corelli? No, my
wife.
168
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:14,160
If I put her in a sports jacket, pull
her hair back.
169
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,260
Tell Frank he can audition.
170
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,760
Yeah?
171
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,200
Hi! What?
172
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,440
I thought you didn't expect to see me
today.
173
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:30,740
No, I didn't. What are you doing down
here? Let me hit my tape recorder.
174
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,400
Oh!
175
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:36,420
Are you all right? Oh, yeah, it's been
hit a lot harder.
176
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,980
Hey, you want to hear my book?
177
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:43,080
Hear your book? Yeah, it's something I
started my last year in training camp.
178
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,180
A lot of the fellas are doing it. Sort
of a diary on tape.
179
00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,980
And then they get some author to come in
and turn it into a book.
180
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,740
I never finish mine, though.
181
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,660
Well, it shouldn't be a total loss. At
least you can get to hear my speaking
182
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,640
style. Oh, by the way, I spoke to Mr.
Grant, and he said you can audition.
183
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:57,920
Oh, that's terrific.
184
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,160
Thanks. You see what a contact can do?
185
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,900
Okay, now listen to this.
186
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,460
Testing. One, two, three, testing.
187
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:09,220
It gets better.
188
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,560
My life on the gridiron by Frank
Carelli.
189
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:12,920
This book is dead.
190
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:20,100
to my wonderful teammates, the 65 Rams,
the 66 Cowboys, and the 67
191
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:23,860
Vikings. Very interesting, Fred. Wait a
minute. I'm just rolling now. Listen.
192
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,870
Look, I like you anyway, but you're
definitely the type that was a
193
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:19,130
in high school. I was not a cheerleader.
No kidding.
194
00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:20,850
I was a pom -pom girl.
195
00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:23,650
I was on the drum and bugle call.
196
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,520
but I'm an expert on bad.
197
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,660
you're thinking but you can't help
everybody
198
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,440
It's been so nice to me. I thought I'd
come over here as a surprise and cook
199
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:30,620
all dinner. You cook?
200
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:31,960
Do I cook?
201
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:36,460
I'm Italian, aren't I? Hey, that's
great. I love Italian food. What are you
202
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:37,460
cooking? Steaks.
203
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,800
Steaks?
204
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,360
Uh -huh.
205
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,540
Uh -huh what?
206
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,060
A man's got to be pretty serious when he
starts cooking dinner.
207
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:49,240
Oh, well, that's... I'm not kidding,
Mary. This isn't just gratitude. He's
208
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,240
one of us.
209
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,860
lady like you be doing with a meat
pounder.
210
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:07,260
Where are you going?
211
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,760
Upstairs to get my meat pounder.
212
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,160
Can I help?
213
00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:14,860
Huh? Oh, no, you relax. You work today.
214
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:15,979
Oh, so did you.
215
00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:16,980
No, I didn't.
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00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:20,280
Every time I go out to sell insurance,
my stomach gets all upset and I think
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00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,340
that I'm bothering people.
218
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:25,020
You know, that's why a sports casting
career would be a very good thing.
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00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:26,780
Besides, I get to hang around you all
day.
220
00:16:36,810 --> 00:16:37,810
Just wanted to know.
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00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:43,830
Oh, I see what you're getting at. The
male animal has certain needs, right?
222
00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:47,950
No. Well, no offense, but you're a
little bit too skinny for me.
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00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:51,890
I... Yeah, I mean, I like big broads,
you know?
224
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:55,350
Zofty. So, uh, don't sweat it.
225
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:57,650
Okay, I won't sweat it.
226
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:00,670
Here's our passports of good eating.
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00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:04,130
This is Frank Corelli with the sports.
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00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:15,980
frank you gotta do it my way am i
getting through to you frank frank i
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00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:18,960
help you so i have to know if i'm
getting through to you am i getting
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00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:19,960
you frank
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00:17:20,329 --> 00:17:21,329
One more to go before your audition.
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00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:24,690
Mary, I can't do a thing with this man.
He won't listen to me. How can I help
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00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:26,069
but listen to you the way you're
screaming?
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00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:29,750
I'm only screaming at you because I want
to help you. Well, stop screaming if
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00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,350
you want to help me. All right, now,
both of you, please stop this. What
236
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:35,370
to be the problem here? Well, I wrote
that special copy for him like you
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00:17:35,490 --> 00:17:38,650
but he insists on reading his copy. Go
ahead, read your copy. Let Mary judge.
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00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:41,650
She'll say it's rotten and I can help
you because I want to help you, Frank.
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00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:47,470
Good evening, Frank Correlli here.
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00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,000
world of sports. In the world of
baseball today, it was Baltimore 7, New
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00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:53,960
the White Sox 8, Oakland 0.
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00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:56,520
Cincinnati and Philadelphia rained out.
243
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:59,920
I thought that rained out added a real
nice touch of realism.
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00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:05,840
You see what I mean? Listen, Frank,
maybe if you tried smiling.
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00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:13,620
On the other hand, maybe serious is
better.
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00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,180
Well, better get in there.
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00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:26,190
psyching myself up like I used to before
every game.
248
00:18:27,530 --> 00:18:28,950
He's going to invite a cameraman.
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00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,890
Oh, no.
250
00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:39,369
What's the matter?
251
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:43,590
Well, that's Timmy Brown over there. He
was all pro -halfback for three years.
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00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:46,950
He's good -looking, intelligent,
popular. Hey, Frank, how you been?
253
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,410
Hi, how are you, Timmy? Gee whiz, it's
good to see you again.
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00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:53,830
You know, the last time I saw you, you
were going right over me for a
255
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,770
Listen, I'll be ready for you in a
minute, Frank.
256
00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:58,650
I'll be hearing from you, Lou. All
right, nice going, Timmy.
257
00:18:58,870 --> 00:18:59,970
Good to see you, Frank. Yeah.
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00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:02,910
Listen, I want to warn you about
something.
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00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:07,550
It'll be luckier for you if you don't
get this job.
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00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:10,310
This is not such a hot place to work,
right?
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00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,550
I'll say.
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00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:12,930
Did I get through to you, Frank?
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00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:14,669
Oh, no.
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00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,290
Go in and get set up for your audition.
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00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:19,250
And stick around afterwards. We can talk
about some insurance.
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00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:30,130
have a chance, doesn't he? No.
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00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:32,070
Timmy was terrific.
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00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:35,870
And he had to be, because my wife wasn't
half bad.
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00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:41,450
This is Frank Carolli with the sports.
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00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:44,390
Today in the world of baseball, it
was...
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00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,200
I blew it.
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00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,020
Look, you girls have been a big help.
Thanks a lot.
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00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,300
Where are you going?
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00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,900
I don't know. I think I'll go take a
long walk.
275
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,200
Frank, it's ten degrees below zero out
there. I think I'll take a short walk. I
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00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:14,100
think you should just come right back
and sit down and we'll just all talk,
277
00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:15,940
okay? That's what friends are for.
278
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,520
Well, there goes my sport -casting
career, just like my car -selling career
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00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,440
my insurance -selling career. Why don't
you just get a job, Frank? What do you
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00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,900
need a career for? Because that's what
you're supposed to have.
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00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,520
Now, look at Frank Gifford. I'll bet he
makes close to... What's the difference
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00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,060
what Frank Gifford makes?
283
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,240
I mean, there are other jobs you can
have besides being a sportscaster.
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00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,360
Are all ex -pro ballplayers
sportscasters?
285
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,760
What else do they do? Besides owning
restaurants?
286
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,240
Yes. Because you've got to be on the
first string to own a restaurant. I know
287
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,460
that. Even if you were on a championship
team, then maybe you could own a bar or
288
00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:50,500
something. But the point is, you don't
own a restaurant. Yeah, because I never
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00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,500
made the first string.
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00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,760
All right. What else do they do?
291
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,660
Besides owning restaurants? Yes.
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00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,220
I don't know. Let me think.
293
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:01,060
Yeah. There was Whizzer White. Now, he
has a fantastic job.
294
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:05,380
He makes $60 ,000 a year, and besides,
they can't fire him. What does he do?
295
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,660
He's a Supreme Court judge.
296
00:21:06,940 --> 00:21:07,940
Oh.
297
00:21:08,330 --> 00:21:09,450
Well, talk about contact.
298
00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:12,050
Isn't there something just a little
simpler?
299
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,130
Yeah, Jim Brown's got a real simple job.
300
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:18,390
All he has to do is act with Raquel,
what's her name, and I bet he makes a
301
00:21:18,390 --> 00:21:19,390
hundred grand a picture.
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00:21:19,590 --> 00:21:23,450
Frank, if you could do anything in the
world, what would you do? Play ball.
303
00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:25,090
Besides that?
304
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,270
I don't know, hang around Mary.
305
00:21:26,490 --> 00:21:28,730
Oh, come on. So I haven't thought about
it.
306
00:21:29,930 --> 00:21:32,850
Yeah, one thing I know I'd do for sure.
307
00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:35,090
What? Go back to Florida.
308
00:21:35,710 --> 00:21:38,770
Oh, the people here are terrific, but
that weather out there, that's for polar
309
00:21:38,770 --> 00:21:42,030
bears. Well, then why are you living
here? Well, I mean, I last played ball
310
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:45,310
here, and this is where all my contacts
are. I couldn't even get a job selling
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00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:46,350
insurance in Miami.
312
00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:48,850
But, Frank, you don't want a job selling
insurance.
313
00:21:49,310 --> 00:21:53,750
Hey, maybe if my contacts here knew some
contacts down in Florida... Well, you
314
00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:57,930
just forget about the contacts for a
minute and just think about what you
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00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:02,130
want. I got enough money for airfare and
maybe one or two weeks down there.
316
00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:04,990
Frank, Frank, you're healthy. You won't
starve to death.
317
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,880
Do you girls know what it is like down
in Florida right now?
318
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:13,660
Tomorrow, the sun will be shining. I bet
it's going to be 80 degrees, and I'm
319
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:14,379
going to do it.
320
00:22:14,380 --> 00:22:16,620
Yeah, before I change my mind, I'm going
to do it.
321
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:19,240
And you know what I'm going to do the
first thing when I get off the airplane?
322
00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:23,080
I'm going to throw away this dumb
overcoat, and I'm going to run down to
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00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,820
beach, and I'm going to go diving into
the water, and while I'm floating on my
324
00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:31,020
back, I'll be thinking about you two
girls and wondering what I'm doing
325
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,300
in the water with my clothes on.
326
00:22:34,310 --> 00:22:35,330
Goodbye. Goodbye.
327
00:22:35,790 --> 00:22:37,610
Goodbye. Bye. Hey, Frank.
328
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:41,130
Oh, thanks. Gee, I should leave more
often.
329
00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:43,430
Oh, you missed.
330
00:23:14,030 --> 00:23:15,330
Maybe it's obscene. Oh.
331
00:23:16,950 --> 00:23:21,610
Hey, wait a minute. They do send things
in plain, unmarked brown wrappers, don't
332
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:22,610
they? Right.
333
00:23:23,350 --> 00:23:24,350
Better open it.
334
00:23:26,390 --> 00:23:27,950
Never heard of an obscene tape.
335
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,130
They're constantly innovating.
336
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:36,070
Okay, let's play it and see what we got
here. Mary, maybe it's a collection. The
337
00:23:36,070 --> 00:23:37,850
all -time great obscene phone calls.
338
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,160
And you too, Rhoda.
339
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,700
This is Frank Corelli with the sports.
340
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,320
I'm just kidding.
341
00:23:53,940 --> 00:23:57,280
Look, I'm sorry I took so long to write,
but you know how it is. I'm talking to
342
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,280
you from sunny Florida.
343
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,200
For a while, it looked like nobody
wanted an ex -guard down here.
344
00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:03,780
Frank, can you fix this?
345
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:09,860
Oh, sure, kid. You just gotta... There
you go.
346
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,200
Thanks.
347
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,460
I even thought about coming back to
Minneapolis.
348
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:15,900
But I didn't even have the fare.
349
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,100
Frank, come on, the game's starting.
350
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,380
Okay, you know, throw the ball around,
warm up.
351
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,700
So I saw this job advertised for a
playground director.
352
00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:27,820
And I work in a real pretty park all
day, and the kids around here think I'm
353
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:28,820
some kind of a hero.
354
00:24:29,060 --> 00:24:30,360
Because I play pro ball.
355
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,840
So I try and teach them how to play, but
not guard.
356
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,000
Quarterback, or running back, or...
Okay, be right there.
357
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,080
I'm sorry, ladies, I gotta go now.
358
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:42,880
I promise to write real soon.
359
00:24:44,379 --> 00:24:46,580
Sincerely yours, Frank Corelli.
360
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,580
Ah, did you hear that? He's teaching all
those little kids to be quarterbacks.
361
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:53,880
Isn't that beautiful?
362
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,060
He wants them all to own restaurants
someday.
29087
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