All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s09e17_blind_date

FYI, I'd like you to meet my new lady
friend, Amber, star of the upcoming

-to -video release, Dungeon of Blood 3.

I get to play a guy with a rake.

So, Sam, what can we do for you?

Amber has her very own, very special,
and very important charity.

What the hell is the name of the
charity?

The International Center for the Support
of Alternative Dance.

Well, alternative dance. That sounds
like a worthy cause.

Yeah, she thought it sounded a little
better than home for all strippers.

And because I know most of the gals,
they are proclaiming me the man of the

at a swanky dinner Saturday night.

What's the dress code, Stan? Would that
be a black tie or tassel?

No sexist pig.

Apologize to her.

Okay, Stan, what else can we do for you?

I have to have one of you wordsmiths
introduce me. You know, say what a great

humanitarian I am and how I devoted
years and years of my life for hookers

everywhere. Whatever.

That sounds great, Stan, and I agree
with you. I think Kay would be an

choice. Wait a minute. I don't know
anything about stripping, and I'm no

public speaking.

Oh, come on. Kay, I'll bet you're a
great public speaker, and I'm sure if

spent a couple of minutes with Amber,
she would tell you everything she knows.

Maybe you don't even take that long.

Oh, Murphy, you are so transparent.

Don't you think I see this is part of
that petty little feud you're having

Kay? Yeah, well... Still, it's a heck of
an idea. Kay, you're my worst friend.

I'll have you fill in the details. Let's
go.

Kay,

she just gives and gives and gives.

Well, since we have a lot of work to do,
let's get to it.

Our first order of business should be
this memo about our operating budget.

I believe I speak for all of us when I
say... John!

Jim's having a stroke!

I knew this day would come!

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Isn't that the raven
-haired receptionist from the fourth

floor? I didn't notice. Anyway, to
answer your question, Kay, yes. Kay

here, Jim. Good. Well, that certainly
gives all of us a lot to think about.

sirree -ba.

Oh, it's just a crash!

That is so adorable!

Oh, please, Corky, a crutch. I assure
you, I believe it is the sacred cause of

journalists everywhere to protect the
people of this great nation.

Well, hello.

What brings you to our floor? I mean,
besides the elevator.

Actually, I'm just filling in for a few
days, so it looks like we'll be working

side by side for a while.

Really? Well, then, see you around the
bullpen.

Besides the elevator, I just got it.
That's so funny.

Now, that's enough.

Yeah, now, come on. Jim's right. Let's
get back to work. Now, if I remember

correctly, Jim had just made the point
of... If you're all finished, perhaps we

can go on with the story meeting? No.

I believe it's my opinion. All right,
Don Juan. She signed for the package,

I'll be on your way.

Go on.

Shoot. Shoot.

I have a good mind to call security on
you. Jim, can I see you in my office for

a second?

Okay, Jim, look, it's pretty obvious you
have a thing for the raven -haired

receptionist. I most certainly do not.

Well, I admit she has a certain... She's
rather... That is to say...

Oh, nerds, I think she's the bee's
knees.

So, um, are you going to ask her out?

Murphy, I'm a married man.

Oh. Sure, Doris and I are separated, and
I understand that she has been dating

for the past few months, and we've
agreed that there's absolutely no chance

whatsoever of us ever reconciling, but
still... Oh, come on, Jim. Just ask the

woman out. Oh, it's not that easy,
slugger.

Truth is, I haven't been on a date with
anyone but Doris for the last 40 years.

I don't know how the game is played
anymore.

Well, let's just say the bases are still
where they used to be.

I'm sorry, but I just can't.

I find that...

things need to take their own course in
life.

Perhaps one day, we'll both be waiting
for the elevator and we'll strike up a

conversation. Then perhaps on another
day, we'll both find ourselves in the

coffee shop and we'll talk some more.

Then perhaps we'll be suggested that we
have lunch someday.

Perhaps over that lunch, another lunch
will be suggested.

And after that... After that, you'll
both be dead, Jim!

If you don't want to do it... I'll ask
her for you. You'll do no such thing.

Come on, I'm just going to go in and
talk. No, you won't.

That's the last I want to hear about it.

All right.

Slugger, you are not going over to her
as soon as I leave the room.

She'll leave a little credit.

Really?

Who is... Oh, I think I know who you
mean.

I'm not sure he's my type.

Why not?

First of all, he's crazy about you.
Plus, he's handsome, charming, very

intelligent. Really?

a charity dinner this Saturday night and
he'd really like to take you. So what

do you say?

Well, great. He'll be thrilled.

Look, I know.

So I would love to go with you Saturday
night.

How about pick me up around six o
'clock?

Uh, sure.

Talk to the raven -haired receptionist
about you. You what? I don't believe it.

I specifically told you not to.

Okay, but she sounded interested.

Really? What did she say?

Well, it seems she's agreed to be
escorted to Lansing's dinner this

night by a certain FYI anchorman.

Oh, Murphy, I don't know how to thank
you.

Oh, please, Jim, you don't know how to
thank me. You don't have to worry about

that. I'll just pick something out and
bill you.

Oh, hi, Jim.

So, Lansing's dinner party.

Yes. I'm really looking forward to it.
As am I.

Great. Well, I'll see you there, then.

Oh, wouldn't you like me to pick you up?

Oh, no, that's okay. I have a ride, Jim.

What? Oh, yes.

I see. The 90s and all.

Well, then, I'll see you there.

Sure. I'll see you there.

Chicago Hope.

Stan and Amber, hello. Where are you
going, Elizondo? Well, I have an early

call tomorrow morning, so I'm heading
home. You don't mind, do you?

No, I don't mind. You go. In fact, you
could go all the way to Chicago and hope

I don't cancel your show.

All right.

Oh, I don't know, Corky. I'm so nervous
about making this speech. Oh, then

I'll... Don't worry about it. Everyone
gets hurt.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

I'm so nervous that their mouth dries up
and their lips stick to their gum.

See? So nervous that they drive their
moped onto the ice -covered Potomac in

desperate hope that they'll fall
through. And after they do, they punch

the Good Samaritan who's pulling them to
safety and screaming in his ear, I

can't live this speech. Please let me
die. Please.

Why don't I go get you a drink to calm
your nerves? Oh, no, no, no, thanks. I'm

not that kind of pathetic sap who thinks
that you get confidence from a bottle.

You get confidence from a pill.

What's that?

An herbal extract. I got these from this
old kind of hunchback crazy shaman with

a watery eye and a plate in his head.

You want one?

Maybe later.

Oh, there you are, slugger. Thank God I
found you. Well, well, well, look at

you. How's my tie? Is it straight? And
is my tuxedo jacket punching at the

bottom? And what about my hair? Do you
think I should have parted it on the

other side?

Oh, I knew I should have parted it on
the other side.

My nose is huge.

Oh, come on, Jimmy. You're not too fine.

I'm sorry, Slugger. It's just that I'm
so excited about this evening.

And none of it would have come about if
it weren't for you. Oh, Jim, come on.

That's... That's true.

That's very, very true. Next time you
tell me, I shouldn't interfere.

Absolutely. Hey, Corky.

Great party, huh?

Yeah? What's so great about it? Bad
food, tacky decorations, boring guests.

You know what's even worse? All anybody
wants to talk about is Miles.

Where's Miles?

What's Miles doing?

Hi,

Corky. Hey, say hi to Miles, huh? Boy,
we sure miss that guy.

Come on, will you just relax now? Enjoy
being with yourself.

I mean, look at me.

Fane is out of town, I'm here alone, and
I am perfectly content.

In fact, I am no longer embarrassed to
be seen by myself.

Uh -huh. This from a guy who used to buy
a lady's speed stick so the cashier

would think he had a live -in
girlfriend.

It goes on drier.

The point is, you know, I used to come
to these things and just pray that women

would find me attractive. But you know
what?

Now that I'm in a committed
relationship, I'm not even interested in

women. Ah.

Hi. I'm Jenna.

I don't usually do this sort of thing,
but there is something about you.

Oh. Well, yeah, well, you know, I'm in a
committed relationship. Here's my

number. Call me.

Oh, look who's coming our way, Jim. It's
the Ravenhead receptionist. Hi,

Murphy. Hello, Jim.

Oh, well, I'm going to go now. I'm sure
you two must have a lot to talk about.

Have fun.

Well, I'm very glad to see you made it.

I wouldn't have missed it.

Oh, that's such a beautiful corsage. Oh,
you'll like it. It's for you.

What? Oh, no, Jim, I couldn't. Now, now,
please, I insist.

Well?

Hey, hey, hey, what the hell do you
think you're doing? You got it all at an

angle.

There. Thank you, Miller.

Anyway, would you like something to
drink?

Uh, maybe some white wine. But, Miller,
shouldn't you be getting that for me?

No, Jim can do it. He's not that old.

Bring me a gin and tonic, okay, pal?

You know, Kay, I am having the strangest
night. I've got to tell you, it's

strange. What's strange about it? I
haven't noticed anything strange. I'm

a really lovely time. I never felt
better.

What's strange about it?

Hey, there's Amber. Hey, Amber, when do
I go on? Will you tell me when I go on?

Sure. Good, because I'm really, really
ready. I wasn't ready before, but now

ready, ready, ready.

Have we met before?

Yeah, sure. I'm Frank Fontana.

Really? You're Frank?

Wow. I don't remember you being so
attractive.

Have you been working out?

No, that's not it.

Hey, what the hell do you think you're
doing, Fontana? Nothing, Stan. We were

just... Nothing, really. She just... She
came on to me.

Fontana, I'm going to punch out your
puppet.

No, Stan.

Stan, it's okay.

Go get a drink.

You're right. What was I thinking?

She came on to you.

That's ridiculous.

Yeah, ridiculous.

Hello, Romeo. How's it going?

Well, to be honest, not very well. We
don't seem to be communicating.

I tell you what. Why don't I go over
there and try to straighten it out?

Absolutely not.

Now, I appreciate all you've done,
Slugger, but I do not want you involving

yourself in this. Just... Let me handle
it myself.

Okay, fine, whatever you say.

I'm not going to talk to her.

Hey, Miller, get lost. I need to talk to
her.

So, I, uh, I gather the date's not going
too well.

No, it's not.

In fact, he's sort of a bore.

What? Oh, no, no, no. You just think
that because of those long, pointless

stories. But don't you think that you've
got yourself one good man there?

That's good to know.

Jane Seymour, TV's Dr.

Quinn.

Bet you it's hard to ride a horse in
that outfit.

So glad you showed up. So glad you did.
Oh, it's a pleasure, Stan. I'm having a

wonderful time.

Hector says we can't leave. Pause it on.

I talked to the raven -haired
receptionist. You what?

Murphy, I distinctly told you not to
interfere.

Okay, but I fixed it.

Really? What did you say?

I just told her the truth, that you are
the finest man I've ever known, and she

would be lucky to have you.

Thank you, Murphy. Oh, don't mention it,
Jim. And listen, after the build -up I

gave you, you've got nothing to worry
about.

Well, I'd best return then. No! No, I
mean... Oh, nice. This is nice. This is

really nice. This is very nice. Very
nice.

Listen, I'm in a committed relationship.

It's really best... Back off, Blondie!

All right, Miller, hold it.

Well, I don't really have much of a
choice now, do I?

Wait a minute.

What are you doing in the men's room?
This is the men's room, isn't it? Never

mind that. Just what the hell do you
think you're doing with the raven

receptionist? What are you talking
about?

Give me that. You're all over her.

Well, the way I figure it is... When a
woman asks Miller Redfield out on a

she better be ready for a little
kissing. What are you talking about? She

ask you out on a date. She asked... Oh,
my God.

She thought I was talking about you.

Damn me and my subtlety.

Listen, Murphy, do you think we should
move this along?

All right, Miller, here's the deal.

Jim thinks he's out on a date with the
Ravenhead receptionist, and he really

likes her, so I want you to pretend
you're sick and tell her Jim is going to

drive her home. Got it?

No way. Forget it. Why should I? Because
it's the right thing to do.

Because it'll mean a lot to Jim. Yeah.

Because I'm not leaving here until you
agree.

Believe me, I can wait just as long as
you can.

Oh, yeah?

I guess we can just share this one.

This is nice, isn't it?

Two of us sitting here, talking.

It's nice.

It's very nice.

In fact, it sort of makes me wish I
hadn't come with Miller.

Miller. Oh, Miller drove you here.

Yes. Yes, he did.

I know that Miller and I are on a diet.

She and Miller are both on the same
diet.

In fact, speaking of Miller, he's about
to come any minute. So what do you say

we just sit here quietly and not say
anything until he returns? That'll be

Murphy, we have a conversation.

Now, what is it you were saying about
Miller?

A conversation, you say? About what?
Because I saw this PBS documentary on

Great War. It was 16 hours, but I think
I can summarize it for you. You see, the

Archduke Ferdinand... Murphy, do you
mind?

Hey, guys.

Listen, Jim.

I'm not feeling very well, and so... And
so you're going home?

That's right, that's it.

So, I'm going to go home, and I need for
you to give me a ride.

I guess you can feel it's that urgent.

No, Miller.

Didn't you mean to say that you were
going to go home, and Jim should give

someone else a ride?

No, I need Jim to give me a ride.

Yes, Murphy.

Remember, you told me to pretend that I
was sick and needed to go home because

Jim thinks he's out with my date.

So, I needed to go home and Jim needed
to drive... Oh, you know what?

You were right.

Your date?

She's your date? Uh, yeah, listen, don't
worry about it, though, big guy. It's

cool, okay?

Murphy told me how much you want to bop
her and, you know, make her stand in

your way, okay?

Listen, you've been out of the dating
scene for a while, so remember.

No glove, no love.

So anyway, the Archduke Ferdinand gets
assassinated and the Bobcats just go

crazy.

Excuse me.

Oh, Jim, wait, I can explain.

Look,

Jim. Oh, good God, woman, is there no
place on this earth where a man can be

safe from you? Oh, no, not really.

David Slugger, if there's anyone to
blame here, it's me.

What was I thinking?

A man of my years could believe that
romance could blossom for him again?

never been so humiliated in my entire
life. Oh, come on, Jim. It's not that

Really? Tell me what could possibly be
more embarrassing.

Oh, I can think of something.

Jim, are you in there? Oh, no. It's her.

Can I come in? Sure. Come on in.

Bring your friends.

I'm sorry, but...

Could somebody please tell me what is
going on? Oh, it's very simple. You see,

I... I'd better handle this.

Oh, yeah, I suppose you're right.

I'll leave you two alone.

Murphy!

All right.

Everyone who can't use one of these, get
out.

Good.

It's settled.

Here.

We're going to the ladies' room. Let's
see if they like it.

Good luck with the speech, Murphy. I'm
sure you'll do fine.

Yeah, right.

Now, I've got a lot to teach and we
don't have a lot of time. Number one,

demeaning to call it stripping. We
prefer exotic dancing.

But number two, pasties hurt.

You know, on the way over here, I
thought of a million or so things that

go wrong this evening.

None of them were half as bad as this.

Jim, tell me something.

Is it true what Miller said?

No, of course not.

Well, yes.

I mean, not so much the salacious parts,
but it's not that I

don't or that I wouldn't or that you're
not.

I feel the same way about you, Jim.

Really? I mean, you do?

Yes, but I never imagined you felt that
way, too.

Oh, my.

I... That is to say... Oh, just ask her
out already!

Would you mind accompanying me for a cup
of coffee?

That sounds like a nice place to start.

Friday night. Oh, my God, Sid. Oh, my
God. You'll never believe what happened.

See, I accidentally took one of Kay's
pills, and I'm talking really, really

fast. Can you hear? I'm talking really,
really fast. Oh,

all right. I'll do the speech.