All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s09e14_the_big_thaw

Morning, guys. How about that snow out
there?

Guys?

Guys? Okay, joke's over. You can come
out now.

Or have you forgotten the last time
someone organized this cute little let's

hide from Murphy prank?

Remember Vicki in accounting?

Remember how for a while there she was
Vicki in intensive care?

Guys?

Hello? Murph, you made it in? It's a
blizzard out there.

What'd you do, drive through the subway
tunnels?

Oh, man, you didn't drive through the
subway tunnel.

That's not important now, Frank. The
point is that I'm here for Kay's early

meeting. When the hell are you going to
get here?

Look, I don't know. Right after I picked
up Jim and Corky, I hit an ice patch

and the car slammed into a snowbank. We
actually had to kick out the back window

just to escape. I'll tell you, we're
lucky we got out of there alive.

Uh -huh, so what, like five, ten
minutes?

I don't know, Murph. The guy said it's
going to take at least a couple of hours

to get a tow truck to us.

A couple of hours, huh?

Well, you know what? No one else is
going to be here, so it's not worth

your lives over. Don't even bother
coming in, Frank.

Good morning.

Get your ass in here now.

Hey, where is everyone?

Oh, well, their car went off the road
and they were almost killed by some

bastards. I guess it's just you and me
then.

Actually, it's just you. Bye. Oh, wait a
minute, Murphy. Maybe we should look on

this as an opportunity.

A chance to use the time for something
productive.

Like a little job evaluation.

Forget it. If you think I'm going to
listen to you criticize my interviewing

skills or comment on my wardrobe or ask
me to explain how Morley Safer happened

to wake up on that garbage barge wearing
makeup and one of my Donna Karan

pantsuits... Actually, I was talking
about you evaluating me.

What? Well, I've been on this job for a
while now, and I'd really like to get

your honest opinion about how you think
I'm doing.

Oh. Well, okay.

You stink.

No,

I'm... serious. I'd really like to hear
what you have to say.

For example, if I were evaluating
myself, I might say that I was a little

Abrasive?

Nice. I was going to say nice.

Well, you are abrasive. And if you ask
me, which you did, I think you need to

warmer.

You know, more of a people person.

Well, more like me.

Like you.

You're serious.

Well, absolutely.

I mean, take how I am with my friends
and colleagues. They know that no matter

what happens, I am always there to
support them. And that's why they love

She always has to have her own way.

Murphy likes the thermostat set at 64
degrees, so the rest of us just have to

bring sweaters.

When she goes to get water at the water
cooler, does she ever get any for anyone

else? No. Look, I don't see what water
has to do with us getting water.

Well, I'll be sitting at the table. She
goes to get herself some water, but does

she ever say, Corky, I'm getting water.
Would you like some?

Geez, Corky, you've got a mouth. If you
want water, speak up. I don't want

water, Murphy. I want to be asked.

At least I don't announce in that
chipper little voice that I'm getting

then ask everyone if they want some.

Jim, do you want water? Corky, are you
thirsty?

Miles, do you want water? I mean, how
annoying is that?

flash for you, Corky. Nobody wants your
water. Just like nobody wants those

homemade lemon bars that come with those
cute little tins we all have to return

to you. Where's my tin? Did you bring
back my tin?

You didn't forget my tin.

I want my tin back.

Well, if you're so obsessed with your
stupid tins, why do you put the cookies

there in the first place?

All right, what's this about?

I want to know where the hell you get
off telling Frank I'm the cause of all

problems. Is that what you told her,
Frank? No. What?

Okay. Okay.

I may have allowed her to assume certain
things.

Frank, why did you lie to Murphy? I
don't know.

Murphy? Well, I'm not all that
knowledgeable about therapy, but maybe

because he's a rotten, stinking liar.

Real constructive. That's nice. My best
friend behind me every step of the way.

You know, Frank, that is your problem.
You always want someone behind you every

step of the way. Should I ask her out?
Should I get the chicken or the fish? Do

you like these socks? Oh, like you're
perfect?

Like you're some kind of pope or head
nun or something perfect? An orange or

something?

An orange?

That second kiss said it all. Tell me
you didn't feel it, too.

I don't know how I feel.

My head is spinning.

It's probably so repulsed it's trying to
twist itself off your body.

Corky, we have to talk.

What's there to talk about? She's
married and you're an idiot.

Is corporate downsizing good or bad in
the long run? Eleanor Clift. I say

Oh,

I see what you're getting at, Jim. But
you're wrong. This isn't about taking.

This is about sharing. Exactly. Oh,
that's such rubbish. Jim makes a very

point. Although I'm not so sure about
that agent part.

am sure, and I have been for the past 25
years, but is that taken into

consideration? Oh, not for a nanosecond.

Of course it was taken into
consideration, although how a breakfast

that important to anyone. Issue 5, what
in blazes are Jim and Murphy talking

about?

Stuart, you've got to go now.

No!

Murph, this is our big chance. We can
make FYI the show it was meant to be.

old chemistry, the old game.

It'll be great!

There's no such word as old.

It's all I know.

It wasn't the network. It was us. We
wanted you fired. My name's Murphy. Get

the stage!

You want to know what, Elle? You're too
abrasive.

You just said that.

Well, I know, but I feel that I just
can't stress this enough.

Now, take how I am when I'm dealing with
the public. I'm always thoughtful,

courteous, and demure.

Please.

I beg of you, you're my last chance to
get there. This is my son's first

birthday. Right now, he's sitting at
home in his party hat waiting for Mommy

walk through the front door.

One ticket, please.

You know, when I see you on TV, you
always come across like such a hard

But you're not.

You are obviously a very loving and
sensitive person. So you'll help me?

are you, deaf? It's so loud.

Nice club you've got here.

Hello, I'm Murphy Brown.

I'm new here.

I know.

I'm Bert Wilson, club chaplain. Ah, the
chaplain. Well, I never thought I'd see

the day when a woman would be accepted
in here.

Well, I guess there's time for
everything.

No, there isn't. I don't like it. It's a
dark day. You've desecrated our home

and ruined our lives.

isn't it, Murphy?

You don't get to sit in your cushy
little chair with your makeup and your

lighting. Down here in the pits, it's
every man for himself.

Oh, give me a break. I earn my stripes
just like everybody else. Don't blame me

just because you're a locks on camera.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I wasn't
looking. That's not fair. He distracted

me. He did that on purpose. You cheater.

Come on. It was my turn. Admit it. Let
me see that question you take.

You call that a question?

I was asking tougher stuff than this on
a high school paper.

Why don't you just ask him his favorite
color? No wonder you're still a prank

journalist. You have a lot of nerve.

And I suppose it was Q Downs that broke
Watergate. Oh, don't. It was a prank

journalist. You guys don't do half the
job with me. You don't help people who

watch my show. Good night.

Interviews? When was the last time you
were on a subway? The last time you were

out on the street, you were a prank
animal.

Looks like the only way we're going to
get out of here is let Murphy ask her

question. This better be good.

Yeah, I'd like to report a stolen car.
Oh, great.

Murphy Brown.

Just what I needed today to be part of
some get -the -cops expose.

And me without my donut.

Imagine my appearance.

I'm not here to do an expose.

I'm here because my car was stolen and
I'd like to get it back.

Hey, why don't you guys ever go after
the fireman, huh?

Everybody loves firemen. Oh, look,
there's a little kitten up in the tree.

call the big brave fireman.

Did you ever stop to think? Maybe it's
the firemen lobbing those cats up there

in the first place.

What are you doing on Channel 4,
Marshall?

I'm not a remote control, okay?

You're not a remote. You're not a maid.
You're not a waiter. Give me a break.

You're being held against my will.
Change the channel.

Keep going.

Keep going.

God, you call these pretzels? Who buys
pretzels made of oat bran?

You guys don't know how to shop.

Oh, lovely. A feminine hygiene
commercial.

Take it from me, fellas. Not once have I
played frisbee on the beach while

discussing freshness with my mother.

Get out!

What are you, blind? The door's wide
open!

We don't want you here!

Whether you go to jail, or drive back to
Oregon, or eat off the floor of a

nuclear reactor, if you would just go!

It's quite a picture, isn't it? Two long
-standing enemies coming together to

shake hands in the name of peace.

And to think it may never have come to
pass if not for... If not for Murphy

Brown?

I'm not saying I'm solely responsible
for peace in the Middle East, but I did

say, Menachem, give him a call. What
could it hurt?

My point is you have to be more
diplomatic.

Like you.

You who could engineer the Camp David
pizza cords, but can't split a pizza

Frank without someone ending up with
Italian sausage shoved up their nose.

You see, that's your problem right
there. You're too abrasive.

Well, yeah, but actually I was going to
say you're too rigid.

You see, you've got to learn to adapt to
new ideas and situations.

I do that all the time.

Rolling. Kelly Green.

Scene eight, take one.

Murphy Brown.

I got your letter of apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with
herring.

Perhaps you'd care to explain this to
me.

It's that letter you asked me to type. I
made a few changes.

Murphy, you do not punch up the lead on
a letter revoking someone's parole.

And look at these typos.

There, there, there.

You've been doing this for a week now.
You're still not getting it. What

is your problem?

Well, it's not so easy trying to type
something when someone is constantly

interrupting you with phone calls to be
made and pestering you for files she

could easily get herself.

Perhaps you'd rather spend the rest of
your time here gutting trout in the

kitchen.

For me.

I heard that.

You know, some people think a souffle is
hard, but it isn't really. Not as long

as you have the right utensils and you
time everything just right. So what's

next? While we're waiting for the milk
to boil, we need to separate four eggs.

Oh, why don't you do that while I grate
the orange peel?

Oh, okay.

Separate the eggs, huh?

Would you like me to do that, Murphy?
No, no, no. It's okay. I can handle it.

Here we go.

Whoops. Clean up on aisle six.

Why don't I do that, Murphy? You stir
the flour.

Now, there's an easy way to separate
eggs. It's all in the wrist.

Watch this.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Let me try that.

No, Murphy, stir the flour. No, no, I
can get this.

That's two out of three.

Now, see here, it's time for the milk,
and this girl's still not got the flour

mixed in.

Murphy, why don't you tell everybody
about the importance of keeping your

countertops tidy?

Here's a sponge.

Just one more egg. You girls settle down
now. We gotta beat the egg whites.

I'll beat the egg whites. No, I'll beat
the egg whites. I don't care who beats

the egg whites. Just beat them.

I got your letter of apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with
herring.

Got as far as the door.

Knew they'd ask me about it.

I have a real knack for comedy writing.

I mean, I look at this, and then I look
at the stuff on television. There's no

contest. Well, I am just excited I got
the part of President Clinton. Look,

got my facts. I am ready to rehearse. So
why don't you just give me a copy of

the script, and I'll start learning my
line.

Uh, yeah. Uh, I changed your plan.

What do you mean?

I think I need you to audition for me
again.

Again? But I nailed it. Well, I slept on
it, and I got to thinking. What if you

go on stage and start stinking up the
place? How is that going to make me

I want to audition again.

Well, have it your way, but Tom Brokaw
did let it slip that he played Conrad

Verde in high school.

All right.

Great. Let's take it from the top of
three. Now, you've been out jogging with

some advisors, and now you're at the
drive -thru speaker at McDonald's.

McDonald's? Murph, isn't that a little
tired?

Just read it, Frank.

Actors.

Same age. Take three.

Apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with
herring.

Cut. I missed my mark. I knew that. I
guess I was thinking so much about

punching the right word. You know, all
the times we've talked the last few

weeks, just think of this as just
another one of those conversations.

Great. I'll try that.

The woman is a redwood.

life experiences that have allowed me to
become the journalist that I am today.

Gosh, all the places I've been, all the
people I've met, the list is practically

endless.

I remember the time my good friend
Elizabeth Taylor dropped by the... Oh,

no, no, please, please, please, no, no,
please stop!

Oh, I... I've had all these fascinating
life experiences, and until you came to

FYI, all you've done is hop from one low
-rated crummy TV show to the next.

Excuse me, but some of those crummy TV
shows were highly rated crummy TV shows.

And that's not all I've done with my
life, you know. For a brief time during

70s, I managed an extremely popular rock
band.

Right. Who was it? Led Zeppelin, The
Stones, The Grateful Dead? Yes, well, in

that category.

Oh, that's the last time I eat before
one of their concerts.

Oh, my God.

Are they playing Afternoon Delight?

Of course they're playing Afternoon
Delight.

Why wouldn't they play Afternoon
Delight? Afternoon Delight is the only

theirs that anyone knows.

When they finish playing Afternoon
Delight, you know what they do? They

playing Afternoon Delight again.

Geez, lady.

That's the Bicentennial spirit.

Like, have a nice day.

Ah, sit on it.

Wait a minute.

Starland Vocal Band Bicentennial
Concert?

At the Beacon Theater?

Yeah, why?

God,

I can't take it anymore.

Hey, I'll give you something sharp, but
it has to be long enough to function my

eardrum. Or give me one of those pet
rocks over there and bash my blind dates

going with it.

I'll show him a bite.

Oh,

hey, hey, listen.

You think you've got it bad? I'm their
manager. I have to listen to that.

Every day.

Oh, why couldn't I have hooked up with a
good band?

A band that was going somewhere. A band
like the Bay City Rollers. Or Peaches in

the Room. If only I could stop that
noise.

Oh, but it would take a miracle.

Or a natural disaster.

Or someone.

Knowing exactly where the little red
switch is.

Behind the top panel.

The left of the stage.

Not the big red switch.

The little switch that says main power.

On, off.

Ah, but damn.

They need backstage pass.

Like this one.

I like the way you sing.

That was you? I can't believe it.

So how long were you with that band?

Well, not much longer, really. When they
went back into the studio to record

their follow -up single, Late Evening
Nookie, I knew that their creative

had pretty much run dry.

Hey, guys.

Sorry it's so late.

Is everything okay here?

Everything's fine. Jim Kay and I were
just having a little chat.

Yeah, it turns out we actually met
before at a bicentennial concert at the

Beacon Theater.

Did you just say the Beacon Theater?

Yeah.

July 4th, 1976?

That would be the bicentennial, Frank.

Hey there, foxy lady.

What's up for a little afternoon
delight?

Get lost.

Why you ask, Frank?

No reason.