All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s09e07_thats_the_way_the_corky_cumbles

Hey, guys, check out this email I just
got from Miles.

My dearest sweetheart, I cannot wait to
feel my hot naked flesh pressing against

yours. Oh, wow.

I bet he meant to send it to Corky.

Oh, didn't you know? Miles and I have
been stripping each other for the past

eight years.

What's he meant to send it to Corky? So
this is what technology has wrought. A

world where a man's most intimate
thoughts can whiz willy -nilly through

cyberspace to become the object of
humiliating, childish ridicule.

So what else does it say?

Tonight, I will gaze into your eyes as
we share a moment of ecstasy that the

gods themselves can only dream of. Like
that time we did it on the glass table

at work.

Geez, I wonder if Pokey's seen this yet.

Move it, Pokey. I've got a plane to
catch.

Sherry, run this tape to the archives,
please.

Patrick, make sure Tucker gets these
editing notes.

Gee, Gorky, you seem a little impatient.

As if you had something of great
importance to do. Something the gods

could only... Yeah, yeah, I'm going to
New York to hit the sheets with Miles.

that what you're getting at?

Well, yeah, but I was sort of hoping to
make her squirm a little first.

Listen, Gorky, this night with Miles is
very important to me. He's leaving for

Europe tomorrow, and it's going to be a
long time until we're together again.

Wait a minute, weren't you and Miles
together last weekend?

Well, yeah, we were together.

We just weren't together.

See? Miles gave Nana Silverberg a key to
his apartment in case of emergencies.

Of course, she took that to mean she
could just barge in on us any time she

wants. Believe me, once Miles'
concentration is broken, it's just

Ah, good morning, my little worker ants.

That's just a figure of speech. I would
never compare you to insects.

At least not after that sensitivity
seminar those maggots at the network

me to attend.

We have a lot to discuss today, so let's
get started.

Jim, care to join us at the table?

I'd rather not.

Murphy, here is your expense report.

Ka -ching. I mean, thank you.

All right, Kate, see you tomorrow
morning.

Tomorrow morning?

Uh -huh. I'm going to New York,
remember?

Oh, of course. This is your big night
with Miles.

You can't go.

What? Hey.

supposed to mean? It's very simple,
Murphy. If an item is highlighted in

that means I rejected it. If an item is
highlighted in blue, that means I ran

out of red.

But, Kay, you said I could go. We talked
about it last week.

Oh, I think I see the problem here. And
that is? That you're totally unqualified

for this job. This is expensive.

Kay, this isn't fair.

You can't just force me to stay in town.

Now, Corky, I'm not forcing you to stay
in town. I'm forcing everyone to stay in

town. What? Are you serious?

I don't know. I'm not doing this for my
own sadistic pleasure.

Well, not only for my own sadistic
pleasure.

You see, the Supreme Court is about to
hand down a decision on affirmative

action, and I want you all to be here
when they do. Oh, come on. They just

started deliberating on that last week.
Yes, and anybody with an ounce of news

experience knows that news story's not
going to break in the next few days.

Yeah, and that's not just because I want
to have sex.

I see.

I suppose you agree with them, Jim?

Yes. Yes, I do.

So I guess it's one, two, three, four
opinions I don't care about.

I'm sorry, you're just all going to have
to deal with it.

Just like Murphy is going to have to
deal with the fact that she no longer

an expense account.

You're canceling my expense account? You
can't do that. I'm sorry, Murphy.

You're just going to have to find some
other way to pay for Frank's birthday

gift.

Hey, does it make that talking toilet
paper dispenser any less enjoyable?

Hey, how's business?

Well, you know, not too good. I mean,
I'm trying to run the bar the way Pop

would, but I don't know how I made any
money with this whole free food for

senators policy.

Free food for senators? Your dad never
did that. That's what I was thinking.

All right, Mr. D 'Amato, party's over.

I can't believe Kay.

Who does she think she is, pushing
people around like that?

Oh, geez, are you still on that? If you
want a few miles, just get on a plane to

New York.

Oh, I can't do that.

I'm not like you, Murphy.

I'm not good at defying authority.

I mean, even when I was a little girl
back in Louisiana.

Let me see if I can guess how this goes.

A relative of yours ignored some
hillbilly superstition and was

killed by a swamp -dwelling creature.

No.

It was my next -door neighbor, Rhonda
Betty.

She disobeyed her parents one night by
crawling through a bedroom window to go

see a movie. And all they ever found was
their half -eaten straw hat on a stump.

Ever since then, I haven't been able to
defy authority or wear a straw hat.

If they thought that way during the
Civil Rights Movement, their theme song

wouldn't have been We Shall Overcome. It
would have been We Shall Just Sit Here

in the Back of the Bus and Be Thankful
We Have Any Drinking Fountains at All.

I know what you're trying to say. Look,
I tell you what. You feel uncomfortable?

I'll go to New York with you.

You can see Miles, and I'll do some
shopping.

You still have your expense account,
right?

But what if we get caught?

Get caught, please.

You ever notice when we work late, I'll
go into my office and a few minutes

later, Jake the janitor will come out?

Yeah. But you never see him go in, do
you?

Wait, you're Jake?

You guys wave, I wave back. Good night,
see you tomorrow.

So what do you say? Are we going to New
York?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, yeah, you're right. I mean, what
would you really be missing anyway?

A passionate embrace with the man you
love?

Sensuous rustle of silk as he
seductively removes his Brooks Brothers

Moonlight reflecting off his hairless
alabaster legs.

Okay, I'll do it!

Thank God, I was making myself nauseous.

Ms. Proud, thanks for straightening me
out on that whole free food for senators

thing. Oh, that's okay. I'm glad I could
help. Yeah, I mean, you don't even know

what I was thinking, you know? Popping a
lost money hand over fist with that and

the whole free food for cabinet members
policy.

More pasta, Ms. Reno?

Murph? Have you seen Murphy?

Does it look like I've seen Murphy?

Um, are you going to get that?

Does it look like I'm going to get that?

Murphy Brown's office.

Oh, hey, Murph.

Your new secretary?

Yeah, she just got here.

Well, I know it's the middle of the day.

Get used to it, Jack.

Yeah, hold on.

She'd like to talk to you. Oh, for
crying out loud.

What the hell do you want?

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

So where are you?

Oh, I'm not really feeling very good, so
I'm taking the afternoon off.

be sick too. I guess there must be
something going around.

What was that?

Oh, I'm just listening to a book on
tape. Hey, you're Murphy Brown.

That I'm a character in.

Wait a minute.

You're on a plane. I don't believe this.
Frank, would you relax?

Oh man, when Kate finds out you skipped
town, she's going to take it out on all

of us. Relax, Frank. She's not going to
find out.

Has anyone seen Murphy?

She's here.

We've got to come up with an airtight
alibi.

Forget it, Frank. You're just going to
blow it anyway.

Put Kay on. I'll tell her myself.

Frank, do you know where Murphy is?

No.

Well, you know, actually, now that you
mention it, I think I saw Murphy down at

editing.

What do you mean? I think I remember my
best friend. I would know about it,

wouldn't I? Oh, for Pete's sake. Why
don't we go on down there to editing

she is? Oh, hello, Slugger. Wait a
minute. Is that Murphy?

Murphy? Yeah.

heard you say Slugger. I did, but I call
everyone Slugger. Hello, Slugger.

Good to see you, Slugger. Hi, what a
pretty dress, Slugger.

You know, actually, now that I think of
it, I think Murphy is in her office.

Is she, Frank? Is she really in her
office?

It's worth a shot.

What in blazes is going on? Murphy, get
down. She's on a plane to New York.

Lord, and I covered for her.

She wasn't in her office. You knew she
wasn't in her office, didn't you, Frank?

You caught us.

Actually, Murphy's... She's stuck in
traffic. She took a late lunch. Didn't

you to find out. Isn't that right, Jim?

Yes, yes. I agree, slugger.

Hello. Oh, hello, Murphy. Now, now,
don't bother lying to Kay. She forced us

tell her about your late lunch and how
you're stuck in traffic here in

Washington.

Hello, Murphy.

Hi, Kay. Guess where I'm calling from.

Oh, I don't know. The island of I Don't
Give a Rat's Ass?

I need you back here right away. I just
found out the Chinese dissident Li Shu

is returning to his homeland to face
treason charges.

Oh, jeez. He's going home now? I've been
trying to reach that guy for months.

Don't worry. You're going to get the
story. I just arranged a phone

but we have to hurry. His plane leaves
New York in an hour and a half.

Wait a minute. Did you just say New
York? Oh, you've heard of it.

You know, Kay, the story sounds great,
but your idea to interview Lee Hsu over

the phone, well, it doesn't sound so
much like riveting television as it does

like crappy radio.

What are you suggesting, Murphy, that we
actually get the interview on camera?

Oh, if only it were physically possible.

Oh, curse you laws of time and space.

KKKKK. This is exactly the difference
between you and me. You look at a glass

and see it as half empty, whereas I look
at a glass and see it as half full.

Are you telling me that you can get to
New York in time?

Oh. I think I can manage, although it's
going to be awfully expensive.

And I don't have any way to pay for it.

And, you know, it's not like I have my
expense account. Look, if you can get

this story for me, you can have your
expense account back.

Really? You'd do that?

Just get to New York. It's like I'm
there already.

Have a New York camera for me at the
airport.

Flight attendants, prepare for arrival.

What was that?

Oh, I got my Porsche during that whole
talking car craze. Gotta go.

You know, Corky, I know we're being bad,
but it feels so good.

You're telling me. I just stole four of
those little airplanes, so, yep, we are

bad.

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, hey, Corky. Well, you look like
you're feeling better. Indeed. It

the time you spent in bed did you a
world of good. Oh, it did.

It really, really did.

Joy to the world.

All the boys and girls now.

Hey, everybody.

I'm back with an award -winning story
and presents for everyone.

All thanks to my reinstated expense
account and the good people at Hanukkah

Schlemmer.

Patrick, here's an ultrasonic mop
propeller you've been talking about.

Sherry, here's a gel -filled eye
massager with your name on it.

Okay, Mer, here's your alibi.

The traffic was tough, but you managed
to make it onto United Flight 72.

They sat down next to a fat guy named
Him.

who spilled his drink on you. Now, he's
agreed to back up my service. Keep next

Friday night open. He'll be calling.

Anyway, when the train landed... Yeah,
right, whatever.

Listen, Frank, here, have a leg hair
removal system.

Now, what have I got for good old Jim?

Why, it's a 20 -compartment folding
toiletries.

Don't try to bribe me. Your behavior
yesterday was inexcusable.

In fact, you could learn a thing or two
from Corky here.

So sick yesterday, she could barely lift
up the phone to call, and yet today she

drags herself in here like the trooper
that she is.

Okay, who wants Jim's toiletry bag?

She's in the deep blue sea.

Joy.

I need to talk to you. Hey, Courtney,
we're bad.

Murphy, this one feels sort of funny
about what we did yesterday.

Corky, how many times do I have to tell
you if the airlines didn't want you to

take those little soaps, they'd bolt
them to the sink.

It's not everything.

It's everything.

I lied to my boss. I deceived my
friends.

Once last night, I faked it with my
husband.

It was all so easy.

Kay got a fantastic story. I got my
expense account back. And Missy and

Resources got a bagel slicer with a
blade that never needs sharpening.

Well, I'm not like you, Murphy. It just
doesn't feel right to me.

In fact, I think I'd feel better if I
just went up to Kay right now and told

everything. Now, you listen to me,
girlie.

I'm not going to have you blow this for
me.

Anyway, this is all Kay's fault.

It is? Well, of course. If she hadn't
given us that stupid order not to leave

town, you wouldn't have had to do this
in the first place.

Yeah, I guess.

What, I guess? Come on, we're bad.

Yeah, we're bad.

All right, now say it like you mean it.

We're bad.

Oh, yes, we are.

Thanks, Murphy. You're right. I don't
know what I was thinking. Yeah, well, I

tell you what. I'm going to go to my
office right now and pick you out

special from Hammock or Slumber.

I'm bad.

Oh, Murphy.

To speed your recovery, I whipped you up
a nice steaming mug of herbal tea with

lemon and honey.

Corky?

Oh, Jim, I don't deserve your sympathy.
I'm a lying, lust -graced soap stealer,

and I'll be sipping herbal tea in a
pound.

Corky, how do you think you'd look with
an authentic Navajo knife strapped to

your side?

Jim, what happened to Corky? Oh,
suddenly you care about your co

if you must know, she wailed something
about soap and eternal damnation and ran

for the elevator.

Jeez, that little goody two -shoes gonna
rat me out.

Okay, so what you're saying is it is
odorless and colorless, but I'd need a

license if I were gonna conceal it and
say a ring.

I'm gonna have to get back to you.

Hi, Corky.

How are you feeling?

Sort of.

Anyway, listen, about yesterday... No,
no, it's cold in here. You better sit

down. And you know what always helps me
when I'm a little sick?

Acupuncture.

Let me just get my needles.

It's been a while since I've done this.

That's all right.

Okay, listen, about yesterday, the truth
is... Hi!

How's it going?

Fine, Murphy, and you?

I was just, whew, passing by.

Well, you look busy. We'll just get out
of your way. Come on, Corky, let's go.

Stop it, Murphy.

I have something I want to tell Kay.

Now, Kay. Oh, will you look at that
view.

Yes, sir. You can just see for miles,
long and lonely miles.

Miles you won't ever get to see again,
ever.

I don't care. You know, Kay, there was
something I wondered if you could help

with. You mean your annoying habit of
interrupting other people's

I know this person didn't show up for
work one day because of some social

engagement.

What if this person worked for you, Kay?
What would you do?

You'd probably fire her, right?

Now, Murphy, what kind of monster do you
think I am?

Of course I wouldn't fire her.

Oh. I'd just make her life a living
hell.

Tell me more.

You know, drive her hard, load her up
with so much work that the next time she

had a chance to do anything social, the
earth would be ruled by intelligent

bees.

Intelligent bees? Wow.

That's a long time.

That's a long, long, long time.

What were you saying about yesterday,
Corky?

I just wanted to say that yesterday I...

Saw the young and the restless, and
someone on it looked just like you.

And you came up here to say that?

Yes. All right, thank you for the
update.

Great, let's go, Corky. Oh, Corky,
before you go, I just wanted to say that

feel really bad about not letting you
see Miles yesterday.

Well, live and learn, apology accepted.

I want to make this up to you. Now, I
know Miles is on his way to Europe. So

after the show tomorrow, why don't you
take a long weekend and go see him?

I'll even pay for your ticket.

You will?

And here, take my neck pillow.

I find this really relaxes me on those
long flights.

Hey, can look her slimmer. Come on,
let's go try it out in the bullpen.

I can't take your neck pillow, Kay, or
your ticket. I lied to you. I wasn't

sick. I went to New York.

You what?

After Kay specifically told you not to?

Oh, I see. Well, Corky, as you can
imagine, I am very disappointed.

I didn't expect this from you.

And I'm so sorry.

And, well, you should be.

And I can see that you honestly regret
it. You can?

Because I do. I really, really do.

I know. So what do you say we put this
whole ugly ordeal behind us?

In fact, why don't you take that long
weekend anyway?

Oh, thanks.

I don't think Corky will be trying that
again.

Okay, Murphy, I want the truth.

The truth?

How the heck did you pull this off?

I mean, here you are, stuck in traffic
in Washington.

The story's in New York.

It's like a miracle.

Well, you know, I can't give away all my
professional secrets.

No, come on. It's going to drive me
crazy. I really have to know.

Okay, well, if you have to know.

Um, there was this plane, United Flight
something.

Flight 72?

Because it would have to be Flight 72.
Yeah, that was the one. And there was

this fat guy, Tim or Tom.

Anyway, he spilled the drink on me, the
lummox. Oh, that's terrible.

A drink?

Yeah, a Bloody Mary. It was all over my
blouse. So anyway, then I landed and I

went straight to my interview. And,
well, there you have it. See you later.

Okay, thanks. There's just one little
thing bothering me.

It's probably nothing.

But if a Bloody Mary stained your blouse
and you ran right from the plane to the

interview, how come I didn't see your
stained blouse in the tape?

Well, because I always carry a spare
blouse.

Exactly like the one you were wearing.

Yeah, I... All right, you caught me.

Oh, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, what am I
going to do with you?

Give me a neck pillow and send me to
Europe?

We just can't go on this way.

You think I don't deserve any respect?

You think I don't have any good ideas?

You think I don't see your reflection in
the glass?

Look, you said yourself you were wrong
to make us stay in town. I just figured

it out first.

Are you going to penalize me for being
smarter than you?

No.

But I am the boss, or at least that's
what it says on my door, or would say if

some mysterious vandal wasn't swiping my
nameplates as fast as they can put them

up.

The point is, once I make a decision,
you have to abide by it.

Do you think you can do that, Murphy?

Well, you did get me a once -in -a
-lifetime interview, so I guess you're

totally useless.

Oh, now you're just sucking up.

So, now that we're riding this emotional
high, do you think I could keep my

expense account?

Absolutely. If you can promise me that
from now on, everything you charge will

be strictly work -related.

All right, all right.

Ooh, when you say work -related, that
would cover, oh, I don't know, gifts for

co -workers from a Hammock or Schlemmer
catalog, right?

What do you think?

All right, Patrick, fork over that moth
repeller.

All right, Frank, where's that leg hair?
Oh, man, you already used it? You

owe me $49 .99.

Hey, you with the electric socks, don't
you walk away from me.

I don't believe this.

I knew this was going to come back to
haunt us. We cover for Murphy and

Kay assigns us to a late -breaking story
that forces us to work through the

night. Yeah, well, we may not be having
any fun, but at least Murphy is in the

same boat we are.

Good night, Jake.

Yeah, Jake, we'll see you in the
morning.

Good night. See you tomorrow.

Thank you.