All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s08e08_bad_company

I'm Murphy Brown. You must be my new
secretary.

I'm Murphy Brown. You must be my new
secretary.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Do you have a problem? A problem?

I have a Ph .D. in molecular biology,
and I'm stuck behind a secretary's desk,

and you ask me if I have a problem.

Sorry. I promised I wouldn't bring my
frustrations to work.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, do you think you could file this
for me?

File this for me?

Good morning, Miss Brown.

Andrew, what are you doing here?

I'm waiting to talk to you. I hope you
don't mind. Mind? Um, well, actually,

Andrew, I do. It's nothing personal.
It's just that bad things seem to happen

when you're around.

Was it fish all we did?

Hello, Miles.

Oh, Andrew.

So, what brings our Vice President of
Current Affairs down to FYI?

On a Monday morning.

With no prior notice.

I realized I've been so busy with my
other duties here, I've been neglecting

you. Neglecting?

No.

FYI, he's like a cactus.

Sit us on a shelf and forget about us.
Come back months later, we're still

there, healthy as ever. In fact, get too
close, we'll prick you.

Actually, I had an idea for a story.
Just an inkling. The merest whisper of

inkling. But it was calling your name.

Miss Brow.

Miss Brow.

Gee, Andrew, I'd like to help you with
your inkling, but right now I'm hot on

the trail of a vague notion.

I understand your reluctance, Miss
Brown, and you are under no pressure to

my idea. In fact, you should feel free
to say no. Free? Hell, I'm eager.

How would you feel about doing a profile
on the CEO of Palomino Software,

Richard Cooper?

Are you sure? I really think this could
be the kind of show everyone would like

to see. It's the kind of show everyone
has seen. There isn't a new show on

television that hasn't done a profile on
him. And they're all the same.

Cooper's a fantastic guy with a
fantastic company who's fantastic to

mean, even the local Spanish station
called him El Gringo Fantástico.

Well, what if he's not so fantastic?

What if he's done something scandalous?

What if he's... divorced?

So what? Half the people in this country
are divorced. I'm divorced.

You are?

I didn't know that.

Look, Andrew, I appreciate your
interest, but my instincts tell me

story here.

I hate to disagree with you, Miss Brown,
but my instincts tell me there is. Just

a funny feeling I have in my gut.

Gee, my instincts are based on two
decades of award -winning journalism,

your instincts could be cured with some
antacids and a hearty belt.

What do you think, Miles?

Me?

Well, a profile on Cooper could be
interesting. Interesting? But if Murphy

doesn't want to do the story, then we
won't do it because journalists decide

themselves what stories they want to do.
Really? I didn't know that.

Yes, it's one of journalism's most time
-honored traditions, right, Murphy? Oh,

absolutely. Dates back to the 12th
century when wandering news minstrels

sing about current events in exchange
for a leg of mutton.

As I said, it was merely an idea. I'm
just grateful the two of you took the

to listen to my humble thoughts.

Good day.

Don't be drinking alone at the I Believe
in News Minstrels Club.

What is he thinking?

A profile on Richard Cooper.

A profile on Richard Cooper. Huh.

Thanks, Andrew. I'll look into that.

Now, hold on, Frank. You can't do a
Cooper story. I need you on that

weapons piece.

But, Miles, didn't you just say
journalists should decide for themselves

stories they want to do?

How else will Frank earn his money?

Well, I'm not sure those are the exact
words.

were the exact words.

Good. Then it's settled.

Although, all this reporters deciding
for themselves what stories they want to

do does make me wonder why we need an
executive producer at all.

Frank,

are you out of your mind? A profile on
Richard Cooper? There's no story there.

know that. But Andrew has always hated
me. And this is the way to get on his

good side. See, I'll act like I'm really
working on the story. Then I'll tell

him I couldn't find anything. He'll be
flattered. I even tried. In a few days,

the whole thing will just disappear.

Well, if you ask me, Andrew shouldn't be
meddling in FYI. He should just stick

to what he does best.

Lurking in the shadows, writing in pig's
blood, and reciting the Lord's Prayer

backwards.

You guys will laugh. I know what I'm
doing.

Hey, hold that elevator.

Hey. What floor do you want? Could you
press three, please?

Did you press three, please? How about
nine?

I mean, I might just press them all,
huh?

Hello, FYI.

Oh, gee, Frank, it's your little
partner, Andrew.

Hey, Frankie, how's it going, buddy?

I just checked in to see how our story
was going.

Oh, yeah, that Cooper piece. How is that
going, Frank?

Oh, well, you know... Andrew, I have
done a lot of digging over the last

mean, I made calls.

I looked in lots of books.

I even contacted all the sources in my
elaborate network of underground

informants. Really, Frank? All of them?
Even Squinty, the one -eyed madman who

lives in the sewers of London?

Yes, Murph. Even Squinty.

The point is, there is just no dirt out
there on Richard Cooper.

Oh, gee, that's too bad.

Well, of course you didn't find
anything, Frank. Cooper's a great guy.

His company put out this adorable
children's video game. I played it with

nephew. Cuddly Bunny Goes to Joyland.

So you hop around sharing carrots with
all your little squirrel friends. Then

level six, they give you a flamethrower
you can use to torch some old people.

But they deserve it, because they don't
know how to share.

Well, I am so sorry, Andrew. I just wish
there was something more that I could

do. Really, Frank? Do you really? Oh,
yes, yes, but what?

I did a little research of my own. Would
you mind taking a look -see?

Oh, um, sure.

It's probably nothing.

I really appreciate this, Frank. I'll
expect a full report by 10 a .m.

Oh, Andrew, I was just thinking about...

Thanks, pal.

Look at all this stuff.

Oh, the story's gonna just disappear,
eh, Frank?

Look, Murph, I'm not in the mood to hear
you gloat right now. Fair enough.

Told you so, told you so, told you so.

Here, lay it at your leisure.

Interesting.

Did you know that there was a cover -up
about an investigation into labor

practices at Cooper's Baby Food Factory?
Oh, Corky, if there was some kind of

cover -up, I think I would have heard
about it. Yeah, I'm sure Squinty would

have found some way to get word to Frank
by now.

Well, according to this, there was a
cover -up.

Oh, please, Corky, just because
something's written on a piece of paper

mean it's true.

Trust me, you can't believe every
officially notarized sealed deposition

the California 9th District Court of
Appeals?

Uh -huh, uh -huh. I understand.

No, don't worry. I can promise you
complete confidentiality.

Thank you very much.

So what'd you find out? You're not going
to believe this. You know how Cooper is

always supposed to be this great family
man? Well, he ought to be. He's got

three of them.

Still hard at work, I see.

Oh, Jim, there's some great stuff here.
Price gouging, insider trading. Not to

mention, the guy is a ruthless takeover
artist. You would not believe the size

of his empire.

That's typical of corporations these
days. They're trying to get into

everything. Public education, mail
delivery, even prisons.

For all we know, in ten years, our penal
system will be run by Disney.

I don't care what crime you've
committed, the last thing you see before

shuffle off this mortal coil shouldn't
be Donald Duck in an executioner's hood.

Good night, everybody.

Andrew really came through on this one,
didn't he, Murph? And to think, in some

parallel universe, you've got this
story, and I feel like an idiot.

Yeah, it's pretty funny. I guess the
joke's on me.

Listen, Frank, there's too much here for
one person to do by Wednesday. What do

you think we share the story with? What?
No way.

We've known each other a long, long
enough to know how this is going to turn

out. I'll use logic, trickery, and if
that doesn't work, a campaign of

unrelenting earboxing. But you'll get
it. Oh, yeah, you will. So why don't you

just spare yourself the hassle and the
mess and the hospital bills, and let's

agree to share the story now, okay?

Oh, all right. Great. Now, I'll cover
Cooper's shady business dealings. No

I want to cover the shady business
dealings.

that we couldn't shut down that plant,
an entire town would be devastated.

Cooper just smiled and said, towns are
expendable, profits are not.

Well, not exactly the squeaky clean
image America's leading businessman

have us believe, is it? Jim?

Thank you, Murphy.

When we return, FYI's investigation of
Richard Cooper continues as Frank

uncovers shocking reports on employee
mistreatment.

And we're into commercial.

Yeah.

Good job, Murphy. Really gave Cooper a
beating out there.

Thanks. There was a point where I
started to feel bad about running that

of him strangling a peacock, but then I
thought, he strangled a peacock!

We just got word Cooper pulled off
another corporate takeover.

Really? That's perfect!

We used it to close the show. Who did he
take over?

The network.

No, the Psychic Friends Network.

Yes.

Oh, God, what are we going to do? I need
to think. John, buy me some time. And

we're back in five, four, three, two...
Welcome back.

What you have heard about Richard Cooper
so far is, I'm afraid, just the

beginning. For more on this FYI
exclusive, here is investigative

Fontana.

Thank you, Jim.

To the public!

Richard Cooper is a benign businessman
and a kind -hearted philanthropist.

But to those who have suffered under his
cold -blooded corporate rule, he is

something quite different.

That is why he has been dubbed the
world's worst

boss.

A man who has shattered the lives of
every employee who has ever done the

slightest thing to displease him.

Although it's never too late for a
person to change.

Hey, Frank, we tell the police Andrew
was dead when we got here. As far as we

can tell, he tripped and choked on his
own state work. I still don't get it.

would Andrew set us up like that? What
does he hope to accomplish?

I don't know. He's Andrew. Maybe he has
some deal where every time he does

something evil, he gets frequent flyer
miles.

Good idea, Miss Brown. A suicide pact.
Here, rip out my throat.

What are you talking about?

Just do it!

What's going on, Andrew?

Didn't you hear?

Cooper wants to see the three of us at
his New York headquarters first thing

tomorrow. I just know he's going to hold
me responsible for that story we did on

him. You are responsible for that story
we did on him. Oh, really, Frank? Well,

then tell me, why is it that your
signature is here on this authorization

That's not my signature.

How about that?

You demented little hobgoblin. You set
us up, and now you're going to take

responsibility. Set you up? How did I
set you up? Oh, come on. You offered

Murphy this story knowing she'd turn it
down and that I'd run with it. So then

Murphy would con me into letting her
back on the story. And then the two of

would go on the air together just as
Cooper bought our network.

You're right, Frank. Only you left out
one very important detail.

You're insane!

Google Mooney!

idea this takeover was in the works?

Miss Brown, three acres of rainforest
gave its life for the paper trail I

You think that would have happened if
I'd known this was coming?

So if you didn't set us up with Cooper,
why'd you put us on the story to begin

with? I assure you, Miss Brown, my
motives were the purest possible.

I was a mere lad at the bottom rung of
the corporate ladder when the incident

happened.

And on that day...

I swore I would have my revenge.

So you arranged for us to do a story on
one of the most vindictive men in

corporate America who just happens to be
our new boss because 15 years ago you

didn't think to get out of the way of a
door?

Yes. And in all that time, he never once
bothered to apologize.

Andrew, did you ever stop to think that
maybe he forgot about it? How could he,

Frank? I didn't forget.

I never forget.

Well, remember this, elephant boy. Next
time in the future you're out wreaking

vengeance on a kid in third grade who
didn't offer you gum, leave us the hell

out of it!

Well, Frank, I swear to you, I didn't
mean to involve you in any of this. My

God, what have I done?

Gee,

Murph, you made her cry.

Oh, please, Frank. He's not really
crying. He probably doesn't even have

ducts.

Okay, he does.

Oh, my.

Why? Why must everything I touch turn
ugly?

My mother was right.

I am evil.

Your mother said you were evil?

At my fifth birthday party, instead of a
clown, she hired an exorcist.

think others were to blame but it's me
me well

it's time for a change tomorrow when we
go into

cooper's office i'll take full
responsibility for that story you're

will

Can I get you anything?

How about a cyanide capsule?

Frank, what is with you?

What's with me? We're about to get
fired.

That's what's with me, Murph. Oh,
please. We were journalists doing our

He's not going to fire us. Oh, right. He
has a doctor over -medicate his

diabetic ex -wife so she'd be agreeable
for the divorce settlement, but he's

going to draw the line with firing us.

Okay, worst -case scenario, we get
fired. So what? Any network would love

have us. Oh. Oh, yeah, they are just
lining up to hire people who've stabbed

their bosses in the back.

If we get Ted Turner indicted, he'll ask
us to host Crossfire.

Calm down.

Andrew's taking the fall for us,
remember?

Oh, right.

Andrew, do you see him here?

No. Well, you know, I don't, and do you
know why? Because that lying weasel

probably skipped the country. I will bet
you he is in Switzerland right now

sipping piña coladas.

They sell them there.

We'll see you now.

Oh, man.

Are we screwed?

Relax, Frank. We're not screwed.

Murphy Brown, Frank Fontana.

This is a thrill.

I'm Rick Cooper. Of course you know
Andrew Lansing.

Hello.

Okay, now we're screwed.

Andrew, I thought we were going to meet
you outside.

Oh, were we?

We're all here now. Please sit down.

I've got to tell you, I'm a big fan of
the show. A big fan.

I thought that story you did where you
ripped apart Pat Buchanan was terrific.

And Frank, I loved that piece you did on
corruption in the New Orleans Police

Department. You did?

Thanks. I thought it was pretty good
myself.

Good? It was fan -freaking -tastic.

You know, I want FYI to keep hitting
hard.

Because there's nothing I admire more
than somebody who'll step up and take a

swing at the big guys.

Uh, really?

Hell, yes. You know, some people with
that kind of gumption are gonna go far

my company.

You know what I'm talking about, don't
you, Andy?

Indeed I do, Coop.

Which brings me back to what you and I
were discussing earlier, that story that

FYI did on you.

I take full responsibility.

Frank and Murphy had nothing to do with
it. Nothing to do with it?

Do not listen to him, Mr. Cooper. That
story, me and Murphy all the way.

Mr. Cooper, I assure you that Frank...
Who are you going to believe? Him or us?

We nearly killed ourselves putting that
story together. And to think I handed

you a tissue.

Are you saying that the two of you are
responsible for that story? That's

You got it. A story that single
-handedly shattered an image that I've

painstakingly crafting my entire adult
life.

Oh, you mean the story about you.

I was talking about a story on someone
else.

I'm sorry, Andrew. Andy,

thanks for coming by. I'm sure you have
business to take care of down in

Washington. Sit down, Frank.

Indeed, sir. Thanks.

And I'll tell my uncle you said hello.

It wasn't us. It was Andrew. He hates
you.

You slammed the door in his face.
Packages.

Frank?

Murphy?

I have a reputation for being fair.

But as you learned while doing that
story, that reputation is totally

basis. So what are you going to do, fire
us?

No, no, I'm not going to fire you.
You're too valuable for that.

Everybody knows the only thing this
network has besides you is the nanny.

And that woman reminds me of one of my
ex -wives.

Not to mention two of the current ones.

No, your situation's gonna require some
craft, which is why I'm slashing your

research budget in half.

What? And as to expense accounts, that's
a thing of the past. Oh, man.

Okay, congratulations. You proved your
point. You're big and powerful.

Can we go now? No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. Now is the fun part.

This is where I whittle away at your
will to live.

For example, I like carrot cake.

Do you like carrot cake, Frank?

Your commissary will never serve carrot
cake again.

But, Murphy, from now on, the toilet
paper in the ladies' room of FYI will be

the rough and scratchy kind.

You know what?

I think that's enough.

I think I can put all this behind me now
and we can build a good working

relationship. Maybe even be friends.

Friends? Are you nuts?

Oh, now, darn it. That's a step
backwards.

I don't believe I'm going to be able to
validate your parking.

Fine, but before we do, maybe I should
clear this with you. My next story is on

wasting the government.

You don't own that, do you?

Not this one.

Not yet.

What are you doing here, Andrew? I
thought you'd be out feasting on the

the living.

Oh, he certainly won't be feasting on
carrot cake.

Why didn't the two of you believe me? I
was taking the fall for you in there.

Oh, yeah, right. Come on, Frank, let's
go.

Frank, wait.

You believe me, don't you?

Yeah, right.

But, Frank, I've turned over a new leaf.

Redneck. Tune in for the Jeff Foxworthy
show and find out. Damn straight.

The show premieres next Saturday with a
two -hour block of four episodes,

starting at 10, only on Nick at Night.