All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s05e12_i_m_dreaming_of_a_brown_christmas

You know, Corky, we were all a little
worried about how you'd react to your

separation from Will.

But I've got to admit, you seem to be
doing great.

Miles, my parents always taught us to
turn life's misfortunes into something

positive. Breaking up with Will was
painful, but I truly believe it's going

make me a bigger and better person. I'll
have a double cheeseburger, two orders

of fries, a large bag of onion rings,
and a slice of apple pie.

With ice cream.

Well, I don't know about the better
part, but you're definitely going to be

bigger.

Button it up, Frank.

There's nothing wrong with a hearty
appetite.

Especially a week before Christmas in
the middle of a recession where Phyllis

putting a Neiman Marcus catalog on my
damn pillow every night open to the

jewelry section.

You know what I love about Christmas?

It's such a happy time.

Have you noticed the city sidewalks are
busy sidewalks dressed in holiday style?

In the air, there's, I don't know, a
feeling of Christmas.

talking about? You hate Christmas.

All right, I admit I have been at
Scrooge in the past, but that was before

Avery. It's his first Christmas and I
want it to be the real old -fashioned

traditional kind, not the yuletide
massacres I grew up with. Oh, Slugger,

exaggerating. It couldn't have been that
bad.

You're right, Jim. I'm sure most family
Christmases end with mother stoking the

fire with dad's golf clubs and dad out
in the backyard shooting skeet with

Perry Como record.

They're my Christmas memories, and
that's why it's going to be different

kid. Now, who's going to help me get the
ball rolling by telling me what goes

into the traditional Christmas dinner?

Oh, that's easy, Murphy.

It's turkey with stuffing and mashed
potatoes and gravy.

Can we get some rolls here?

Excuse me, but the traditional Christmas
dinner is ham with cherry glaze,

parsley potatoes, and peas.

Excuse me, but I think you're all
forgetting that Avery's half Jewish.

Technically, you should be celebrating
Hanukkah as well, and that means boiled

chicken and potato pancakes.

I got one vote for turkey, one vote for
ham, and running a distant third, Yentl,

the kosher chicken boy.

So, Frank, you're the tiebreaker. What
did your family serve?

Latanya.

Murphy, it doesn't really matter what
kind of food you serve.

The important thing to remember is that
Christmas is about family.

Ah, yes, family. I was getting to that.
Now, with mother gone and dad in Chicago

with his new family, I was thinking...

Corky and Will have split up, so she's
alone.

Audrey went home to England for the
holidays, so Miles is alone. And, of

Frank is always alone. Maybe they'd like
to spend the holidays with me. What do

you think?

Okay, Merv, how can I say no to such a
lovely invitation?

Sure, why not?

Bill, I'm gonna want another piece of
pie with that.

That's my girl.

All right, I'll come, but I'm bringing a
menorah. You know, I wouldn't mind

helping Avery experience his first Noel.

Really, Jim? Don't you and Doris have
plans?

Well, normally we do, but... Doris is
playing Mrs. Cratchit in a production of

Christmas Carol at the Hillcrest
Retirement Home.

It's a charming show, but I find it
somewhat disconcerting when the ghost of

Christmas past appears in an oxygen
tank.

Well, that's great.

Now, listen, guys, would you mind
bringing just a few things? Sure. All

let's see. I'll need salad, vegetables,
potatoes, cranberry mold, the main

course, and something to put it on.

That's it? You sure you don't want us to
come over early and help you decorate?

No, no, no, that's okay. I'll just get a
tree, maybe a wreath. I'll keep it

simple. Monica, simple. Eight candles,
chicken, take a picture.

Oh, don't worry, Eldon. If the store
didn't want us to buy the stuff, they

wouldn't put it in the window.

Elf people were laughing at us when we
left the building. A security guard

stopped me, accused me of elf napping.

You are completely out of control.

Oh, you just ignore him, Avery. We're
not out of control. We're just having a

simple little Christmas.

Oh, I bet that's the ice company
delivering the half ton of snow we

Oh, my God.

Murphy, darling.

And my beautiful little Avery. Ciao,
bambino. I'm your Auntie Brooke.

And look.

Oh, he's crying.

Well, don't... Don't worry, sweetheart.

You're not the first man I've reduced to
tears.

Aunt Brooke, this is such a surprise.

What are you doing here?

It's Christmas Eve. Where else would I
be but with my family?

My only family.

I was sitting in my villa in Tuscany
last week, listening to Pavarotti

his way through the little drummer boy.

He suddenly came over me. I shouted,
Stop singing, Luciano! I'm going to

to be with my niece, Murphy.

And my sister Avery's little namesake.
Luciano Pavarotti was singing in your

living room?

No, dear, he was in the shower.

Mmm, lovely ambiance you created here.

Makes me wish I bought a thousand more
shares of Washington Gas and Electric.

I'll be staying three days.

Oh, oh, that's great. It's always
wonderful seeing you. And so unexpected,

unannounced, out of the blue, without
warning.

part of the fun of me, isn't it?

Uh -huh. Well, I'll just put Avery down
for his nap, and then we'll come back

and have a little visit.

Wonderful, darling. Take your time.

You can look all you want.

and I'll get none of this sandwich.

That's all right. I've already eaten.

Whoa.

For a minute there, I thought I was
having a Disney Christmas.

It's you, isn't it?

The painter.

I'd have known you anywhere. You're
Elvis.

Actually, I'm a... Yes, yes, the beard
and the overalls and those incredibly

soulful eyes.

You're exactly as Avery described you.

Avery? Oh, you knew that wonderful
woman? She was my sister.

I'm Brooke.

Brooke Torrance Hastings Shinebound
Moore.

You've been busy, huh?

Or extremely unlucky.

Oh, contraire. I've had a marvelous
time. And each of my four husbands would

tell you the same thing if they'd
survived.

Unfortunately, I tend to choose men with
weak hearts.

And I'm a very active woman.

And, Brooke, I see you've met Elvis.
Elvis, yes. And he's everything Avery

he was. Look at those eyes. There's
genius in them. I like her.

Well, of course you do, dear. Everyone
does.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go and
bathe.

Or I'll die.

Look at this room, Eldon. Don't you
think it just screams Christmas Eve?

I can't argue with you about that.

You know, Ellen, when Aunt Brooke
arrived, I was a little concerned, but I

everything's going to be just fine. Oh,
you know, I admit she takes a little

getting used to, but she is family.
Plus, she already commissioned me to do

sketch of her.

The only problem is she suggested that
it be done in the nude, and, well, I'm

not sure if she means her or me.

Eldon. Oh, Eldon, listen to that. It's
Kendall Burns singing an old -fashioned

Christmas song. I want... Are you ready
to hear that? Yeah. Go get it, Nolan.

Go, go.

And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing. And heaven
and nature sing. And heaven and nature

sing. And heaven and nature sing. And
heaven and nature sing. And heaven and

nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing. And heaven
and nature sing. And heaven and nature

sing. And heaven and nature sing. And
heaven and nature sing. And heaven and

nature sing. And heaven and nature sing.
And heaven and nature sing. And heaven

and nature sing. And heaven and nature
sing. And heaven and nature sing. And

heaven and nature sing. And heaven and
nature sing. And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing. And heaven
and nature sing. And heaven and nature

sing. And heaven and nature sing. And
heaven and nature sing. And heaven and

nature sing. And heaven and nature sing.
And heaven and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing. And heaven
and nature sing.

And heaven and nature sing.

And Can't a father come up here to spend
Christmas with his favorite daughter

and his brand -new grandson, huh?

Well, not when he's got a wife and child
in Chicago.

What's going on? What's with the cane?

She threw me out.

Right out on the street. I was so damn
mad, I kicked over some kid's snowman.

The little brat had built it around a
fire hydrant. I think I booked a ticket.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I see why all
the lights in the Capitol Dome are

flickering.

Dad, forget the lights and tell me what
happened. Why'd Karen throw you out? She

claimed that I'd forgotten our
anniversary. Hell, I hadn't forgotten

Well, I was playing poker with a bunch
of the boys down at my magazine.

But I was 500 bucks ahead. I mean, I
couldn't walk out. It would have been

So at 6 .30 this day, I showed up at the
house with a magnificent platter of

cold cuts.

And she started yelling, saying that
she'd had it with me.

That I wasn't enough of a 19th husband
for her. Now, what the hell? What the

hell does that mean?

I have no idea, but all she'd have to do
is wait a few years. You should be 90

by then.

Oh, my God, it's babbling Brooke.

What the hell is she doing here?

Did you kill another husband?

Dad, Dad, Dad, Brooke, now, listen, it's
Christmas Eve. Remember, tidings of

comfort and joy.

At least my husband's died from natural
causes. My marriage has been dead from

divorce. Oh, what an accomplishment.

Yeah, the poor guys probably wanted out
so badly they were willing to die.

Witch! Oh, there's a verse of joy to the
world I don't think we're familiar

with. There he is. There's the big guy.
He came all the way up here to see you.

Thank you very much. It's good to see
you, too.

Why is he still here?

Dad, Eldon's my nanny.

Actually, I'm his nanny, although at
times the line does tend to blur a bit.

You're leaving my grandson in the hands
of this genius?

Elvis is a far better role model than
you ever were.

All right, you two, listen up.

Now, you're both unexpected guests, but
in the spirit of the season, I'm willing

to make room at the inn.

But this is my son's first Christmas,
and it's going to be a happy one, or

you're both going to be out on the
street looking for a manger to sleep in.

make myself clear?

Oh, yeah, well, that's fine with me. I
just wanted to spend Christmas with my

family. Well, so did I, and I was here
first.

I'm a father. I outrank you.

Did you say father or failure?

Crone. Philanderer.

I must have been a very bad girl this
year.

Oh,

boy, am I glad to see you.

Where's Corky?

She was a little late preparing the
turkey.

Mine certainly is festive in here.

No kidding. Which way to the slot
machines?

Never mind that. Just get your coats off
and get into the living room. I need

reinforcements. Hey, children.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good
night.

What are you talking about? Where are
you going?

What? I don't have a life. It's
Christmas Eve, and I'm going to help

Tots deliver some presents around H
Street.

But, Giselle, that's a pretty rough
area.

Compared to that living room? I think
not.

What did he mean, compared to that
living room?

You little maniac!

Harrigan!

You'll find out.

Oh.

You know my father. Yes, Mr. Brownlee.
Very nice to see you. And where's your

lovely wife? She threw me out.

Torrance Hastingshinebaum Moore.

I'm Murphy's aunt. If you're wondering
why I'm alone, all my husbands are dead.

This is Jim. I know, dear. I know, Mr.
Dial and Mr. Fontana. I have a satellite

dish in my villa in Tuscany and I rarely
miss one of your shows.

However, I don't believe I'm familiar
with this young man.

Miles Silverberg. I'm the executive
producer.

Oh, good for you.

Your husband was Jewish, Milton
Scheinbaum.

Your people make wonderful spouses.

You rarely drink.

You're considerate lovers, and when you
die, you usually leave your widows well

taken care of.

Thank you.

Hors d 'oeuvres, anyone?

Italians, on the other hand, are more
passionate.

They're not necessarily good husbands,
but they're excellent lovers.

Do you get to Tuscany often, Mr.
Fontana?

Run for your life!

She's on the prowl.

Oh, I'll get that.

Meantime, Miles, this would be a good
time to tell everyone the story of the

miracle of Hanukkah.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, yeah, right.

I hope you cooked enough for two extra
guests.

Hey, half the turkey's gone.

There was a long light on Constitution
Avenue.

Sue me.

Just give me the platter and get inside
and spread some holiday cheer.

Get that piece of turkey skin off your
lip.

But the Maccabees had enough oil to
light the lamp for everyone. Merry

Christmas, everyone.

This is my father, you know, and then
this is Aunt Brooke.

Hello, Mr. Brown. What a surprise.

Where's that pretty wife of yours? She
threw me out.

Uh -huh.

Hello.

Yes, I know, dear.

I read about your separation, and I just
want to tell you there are plenty of

men out there for attractive girls like
us.

And I should know. I've been married
four times.

Uh -huh.

time I see him, he gets to be more and
more like me.

Wonderful. But it's only a question of
time before he dumps his wife of 25

and marries someone half her age.

This from a woman whose second husband
was so young, they had to get married

during a recess.

Go on, ask her how old he was.

Go on.

Hey, hey, here's a fun Christmas idea.
While we're...

basking in the warm, digestive glow of
this lovely holiday meal, why doesn't

each of us recount a fond memory of
Christmas past? That way, Avery can have

firm foundation of happy holiday
memories. Jim, you start.

Do I have to? Yes.

1948,

your very first Christmas.

Yes, it was the first year she came to
stay with us.

It was a nightmare.

Misogynist.

Hold it.

Nobody clears anything.

The next person who tries to leave this
room gets decked in the hall.

I know this

evening's been a disaster.

Why shouldn't it be? It's a typical
Brown family Christmas.

People screaming, children crying, and a
blonde girl stuffing her face in

misery.

The only difference is it used to be me.

Well, I'm telling you both, it's over.

My child is not going to be a victim of
the past.

The Brown family destiny changes
tonight.

You hear that?

It's a sign from God. Now, we are going
to listen to the joyous sounds of

Christmas. We are going to eat this
delicious and extremely expensive

dessert in peace and harmony, and love
and joy will fill this house.

Oh, he started it. No, no, no. I don't
want my son to hear anything but the

sound of this music.

Oh, it's nothing, young man.

Nothing? I'll show you nothing.

Lovely. It's my second wedding day all
over again.

Good morning, darling. Would you like an
orange juice coffee?

Merry Christmas, darling. I hope you
like your egg scramble.

Wow. This is the most incredibly vivid
dream. I can even smell the coffee.

No, no, no, dear. It's not a dream. No.

You see, after you locked yourself in
your room last night, your aunt and I

a little meeting.

And we decided that you may have had a
point.

That we weren't acting as a family
should.

What was your first clue? The pie
throwing or the stabbing?

What can we say, dear? We fell into old
habits. We're not proud of ourselves.

But we want to make it up to you and to
Avery. Can't we start Christmas over

again?

No.

No, we can't. I want both of you out of
my house now.

You can't mess things up for 40 years
and then just make me scrambled eggs and

coffee and expect me to say it's all
okay.

It's not fair.

Really, dear, as my close friend Katie
Hepburn says, boy, boy, boy.

Get on with your life.

If we're willing to try not to be
victims of the past, then you have to

effort, too.

I don't blame you, darling, for not
trusting us.

But I promise you we're going to give it
the best try this year. And as a proof,

I'm going to give you a Christmas
present.

Brooke, I'm sorry that I shoved that pie
in your face.

And I apologize for poking you with a
fork.

Poking? All right, then stabbing.

Wow.

Two members of my own family apologizing
to each other without a policeman

present. I never thought I'd live to see
this.

To tell you the truth, dear, neither did
I.

But love makes you do strange things.

And I do love you. Yeah, so do I,
darling.

And I know that occasionally I turn into
a crotchety old fool.

But I do hope you know that I would do
anything in the world to make you happy.

Thank you.

Thank you both for finally giving me the
Christmas I always wanted.

Give it a hug.

You too, Aunt Brooke.

Yeah, why not?

You know, Bill.

For the first time in years, I see a
little bit of a man my sister fell in

with.

Good, thank you very much.

And when you're not spewing all of that
venom, well, you're not half bad

yourself. Oh, this is great. Isn't this
so great? And since we're confessing, I

might as well tell you that when we met,
I told Avery not to let you get away.

How about that, Dad?

Oh, no, you didn't. No, go on.

You certainly did, and I can still see
you the way you were as a young man. All

that Irish charm and vitality.

It was very attractive.

Well, speaking of vitality, there are
very few women in the world that could

match you on that level.

So, who'd like some eggs?

Did you always have those little flecks
of gold in your eyes?

Of course I did.

to look.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are
you doing?

I was wrong. This is unnatural.

You should be fighting. Aunt Brooke,
I'll get you a fork. And Dad, we're out

pie, but here's some marmalade. Nice and
sticky.

Don't worry, dear. It was just a...

Momentary aberration.

We're fine now, right, Bill? Yes, yes,
absolutely. That was a very strange

sensation. Yes, but I suppose it does
stand to reason if you try to shut up

those years of hostility so quickly, the
energy has to go somewhere.

Well, I want it to go somewhere else.

Oh, come on, Murphy, we're not crazy.

As a matter of fact, I want to get back
to Chicago as soon as I can to see if

that remarkable woman whom I married
will give me a second chance.

And I have to get back to Tuscany to
prepare my... annual New Year's Eve

Placido Domingo is coming. He's promised
to bring Mick Jagger with him. I hear

he may be divorcing again.

So, you're both really okay?

Oh, sure, yeah. Of course, dear, why
wouldn't we be? We're here with you and

your sweet child on Christmas Day.

So, what do you say we enjoy it?

Okay. But any more talk about vitality
or eye color, and it's Merry Christmas

all and to all a get out.

Whatever you want, dear.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Oh,
my God.

There she goes again.

You just simply can't resist, can you?
No, I can't. What are you going to do

about it?

Well, there's not much else I can do,
really, except join in.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Well, Avery, that's your family. We may
not be able to carry a tune, but at

least we go on singing.

It's the holiday season, and that means
one thing.

Party. Party. Party. Party now.

Yes, it's the French Prince year -end
jam.

Party with the Prince for four full
nights starting Monday, December 11th,

on Nick at Night.