All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s05e08_midnight_plane_to_paris.eng

Look at this. Happy Le Pew in a dress.

Miles, four days in Paris. How come she
always gets the great trips? It's not

fair. Oh, what are you talking about,
Frank? I'm the one who hasn't been out

town since before the baby was born.

And if I'm not mistaken, you got one of
my overseas assignments when I was out

on maternity leave. Yeah, right.

Sewer crisis in Calcutta. Thanks a lot.

Jeez, Frank, one little cobra bite and
you go all to peace.

Now stop complaining. We should all be
thrilled that Murphy's bringing her

special brand of journalism back to the
world stage.

Thank you, Miles.

Oh, please. The only reason he's happy
to see you go is for the next four days

you won't have to wear his bike guard
when he goes to sleep.

I told you I'm wearing a bike guard.

We have the same dentist, remember?

He told me you're just as tight as the
tin man in The Wizard of Oz.

That's dental information.

It's supposed to be confidential.

Oil can!

Oil can!

You want to go back to Calcutta, Frank,
do you? Keep it up. Oil can!

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to miss this a lot.

But Paris awaits me. Yes, Paris. A city
where the people are so rude, I'm

considered a gracious guest.

And all the arrangements have been made
right? Everything's set?

Absolutely. It's the final proof that
I've successfully integrated my baby and

my career.

Everything's all taken care of. Right
down to the Parisian nanny. So while I'm

working, little Winston can be at Euro
Disneyland watching a French Snow White

walk around with hairy legs.

You're not serious.

Murph, you're naming your kid Winston
after Winston Churchill?

No, Frank. I'm naming him after a
cigarette.

I wanted to name him after a bad habit
I've given up, and Ernest and Julio

wouldn't fit on an ID card.

Murphy, the baby is four and a half
months old. Don't you think it's time

stop playing musical names and finally
commit to one? It's not that simple,

Miles. I want to make sure the name
fits, and I can't do that until he

more of a person. Right now, he just
eats, sleeps, and whines.

Why don't you name him Frank?

Enjoy your root canal on the 21st.

Oh, Murphy, there you are.

I want you to do a favor for me while
you're in Paris.

It's very important, so you might want
to write this down.

Although, I'm sure you'll remember.

I want you to go to the Trésor Lee
Boutique in Saint -Germain and return

scarf for me.

And get cash, Murphy.

Don't you let them talk you into store
credit.

Murphy, I'm going to be interviewing
foreign ministers.

heads of state and at least one reigning
monarch. Plus, I'm going to have my kid

with me. Now, if I take this box, what
do you think I'm going to do with it?

Anybody want to buy a scarf?

Murphy, what time is your flight
leaving?

7 a .m. tomorrow.

Can you believe it? I'm now one of those
annoying we -get -to -board -first

-because -we -have -children people.

Yes!

Okay. Let's see now. Get new passport.

Done. Confirm reservations.

Done. Check airline for bankruptcy. You
can't be too careful.

Keep thinking there's something I've
forgotten.

I got rhythm, I got music.

I got my gal who could ask for anything
more.

Oh, here's the file you wanted, Miss
Brown. I'm taking my break now.

if I can save that for when I get back.

Ah, Slugger.

I have a little going -away gift for
you.

Really, Jim? A present for me?

Where? Just a token to welcome you back
to the road. A symbol of the ties that

bind those of us who toil in the
vineyards of journalism.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me that.

Ooh, look what I got. An electronic
translator.

You type a phrase in English and read it
back in any of five different

languages. French, Spanish, Russian,
Japanese, or Yiddish.

Get your damn beret out of my face.

Hey,

it works, Jim. Thank you very much.

Well, if there are no other presents,
and apparently there aren't, I have a

other things to do.

Let's see. Get a traveler's check. Take
a baby to the pediatrician for checkup.

Talk to cable company about getting
credit for the four days I'm out of

Thanks, Courtney, but I won't be needing
any luck. I've got everything covered.

I've got my gal who could ask for
anything more.

Who could ask for anything more?

See? I'm ahead of schedule already.

Where have you been?

Do you realize you were supposed to be
back from the doctor one hour ago?

Well, I'm sorry, Ellen. You could have
called me in the car. I told you I don't

believe in car phones.

You know, next thing you know, they're
putting bathtubs in cars.

Then you'll see some accidents.

Well, I'm sorry, Eldon. We had to stop
off at the drugstore for a prescription.

What? Well, wait a minute.

What prescription? This was just
supposed to be a checkup. Oh, my God.

What's wrong?

Eldon, it's okay. He has a slight ear
infection.

I'm just going to put him in his
bassinet.

A ear infection?

Oh, no.

No, that's because of that draft in the
nursery, isn't it?

I knew I should have put extra weather
stripping on that window frame.

But no, I had to finish that mural of
world leaders as nursery rhyme

All that time wasted painting little
short pants on Humpty Yeltsin.

Stupid, stupid.

Eldon, will you relax?

Dr. Coulter said ear infections are
common in babies his age. He's not in

pain, and with a little medication, he
should be over in a few days.

The only trouble is, the doctor said he
can't fly.

Well, of course he can't fly. A
rudimentary knowledge of physics would

that. I meant on the plane.

I'm supposed to go to Paris tomorrow,
and my kid can't go.

Which means I've either got to give up
one of the biggest international stories

of the year, or leave him with the nanny
for four days. And as far as that

nanny's concerned... I know, I know. I
shouldn't worry. Mrs. Moline is

She's incredibly confident. She's
trustworthy. And technically no longer

employ.

Excuse me?

That girlfriend friend of yours stopped
over this afternoon. You know, the one

with the long hair, the big smile.

Maria Shriver? That's the one.

That's the one.

Now, I told her, I said, look, she's not
home, but she just pushes her way in

here and she's just talking to Mrs.
Molina. Yaggity, yaggity, yaggity. And

thing I know, well, she hired her.

Wait a minute.

Maria Shriver stole my nanny?

Well, then, I left a note on the
referral.

Oh, Ms. Brown.

I left you a note on the... Refer...
Yeah, I heard.

I can explain.

Oh, I'll bet you can.

So, this is how you repay me, huh? After
all I've done for you, didn't I say you

could help yourself to anything in the
refrigerator?

There's never anything in the
refrigerator. Just answer the question.

Brown, I'm sorry. It's just that Maria
told me that I could... Oh, it's Maria

now, is it? Well, that's quite a switch
from what the last nanny had to call

her, the queen.

Tell me, Mrs. Molina, have you ever felt
the sharp sting of a writing prop

against your flanks? Well, you will, my
friend, the first time you spill talcum

powder on her carpet. Whack!

She told me that you would say something
like that. Okay, okay, what did she

offer you? Let's hear it. Well, there's
a $100 raise.

I'll double it. A four -week paid
vacation. Okay.

A free loaner car.

Does she need a painter?

Eldon.

Okay, I'll give you all that stuff. And
a dental plan with a $50 deductible.

What, is she out of her mind? Has she
seen your mouth? You've got more bridge

work than the river.

Oh, that's Maria now. I really have to
go.

Okay, okay. I'll match the devil plan.

Oh, that's very generous. But in all
honesty, I'd say I'd prefer to look

Maria's kids. Why? What do her kids have
that mine doesn't? A different mother.

Okay, fine. Leave.

You'll be sorry.

What are you laughing at, Shriver?

You... You nanny napper.

Well, that's it.

No way I can go to Paris now.

Can you believe it?

I've got a story to cover and I can't
go.

Well, that's the first time I ever heard
myself say that.

I can't go.

That sounds weird.

See what it looks like in Yiddish.

Oy.

Look, before you break into selections,
we'll fiddle around the roof.

May I suggest that... May I suggest that
if this is that important to you,

Hey, I could watch the little fella.

You? Well, sure.

Sure, why not? It's only for four days.

Gee, I never even considered you, Eldon.

But it does make sense.

You know him as well as anybody.

And he's not breastfeeding anymore, so
that wouldn't be a problem.

Eldon, are you sure you want to do this?

Well, the only problem I see is I think
that maybe I have a slightly more

developed feminine side than you do, and
that might confuse him.

Other than that, no sweat.

Well, isn't what I planned.

But at least I won't worry if he's with
you.

And I will be able to cover my story.

So that's it, then.

Right.

That's it.

I'll go to Paris and you'll stay here
with... With... Damn.

What is it this week?

Jacques Cousteau -Brahman.

No, no, no. That was last week. Oh,
yeah, right. The night we had fish.

I gotta settle on a name.

Hi, guys.

Murphy, what are you doing here?

It's okay.

Everything's fine.

I'll have a burger, Phil.

You got it. Murphy, why are you ordering
a burger? You're supposed to be on a

plane to Paris. I know that, Miles.
There's been a change in plan.

The baby has a slight ear infection.

Oh, is he all right? No, no, no. He's
okay, really.

It's just that he can't fly. So Eldon's
going to stay with him while I'm gone.

Don't worry, Miles. I can still go out
on the Concorde tonight and be in Paris

in time for my first interview tomorrow.

Well, Murphy, are you sure you want to
go? I mean, I could send someone else to

cover this helmet. It's pretty short
notice, but it could be done.

Absolutely. Don't worry about this
story, Murph. I can handle it. Oh,

You think Helmut Kohl's going to want to
talk German nationalism with you after

that Colonel Klink impression you did at
the Berlin Wall celebration?

It was Sergeant Schultz.

And you think with a name like Helmut,
the guy could take a joke.

Miles, I'm the only one who can do this.
No one else has the access to get the

interviews I've set up.

Murphy, if you're sure. Who's at
anything about being sure? I was up all

over this, and the baby was no help at
all. At 3 a .m., he smiled like a sign

that I should go. At 4 .30, he cried
like he was asking me to stay.

Smile, cry, smile, cry.

It was like an evening with Liza
Minnelli.

Don't you see what's happening here?

You're a mother now, and you're feeling
maternal ties.

No, I'm not.

It's all right to admit it. No mother
wants to leave her baby when he's sick.

He's not sick. It's just this little ear
thing.

The pediatrician said I could go, and I
just appreciated if you would all stop

giving me such a hard time. Murphy,
nobody's giving you a hard time. Oh,

Harass me some more. You know, this
wouldn't even be an issue if I were a

No one thinks twice when fathers leave
their kids to go on business trips.

Jim, if you were in my shoes, you'd go,
wouldn't you?

Well, Murphy, that's hard to say. As you
know, Doris and I never had children.

However, there was that time I was
scheduled to speak in San Francisco and

dog, Trickster, ran into the sliding
glass door and screamed his name.

I was ready to leave and there he was,
looking at me with those soulful eyes,

wearing his cervical collar.

An unhappy little circus dog.

There you go, Murphy.

Hope it didn't take too long.

But you know how it is right after an
election.

The winners are still celebrating. The
losers are drowning their sorrows.

Bar business is up 90%. I love this
country.

Bill, you're a father. How do you decide
the right balance between work and

family?

Well, I'll tell you, Murphy.

I never heard of anybody lying on their
deathbed wishing they had spent more

time at work.

On the other hand, I got eight kids.

That means eight potty trainings, eight
cases of the measles.

Eight Halloween costumes every year.

Well, there was that one time when we
put one sheet over all of them and sent

them out as cash for the real fat ghost.

Truth is, there's days when coming in
here to sweat over a deep fryer is like

Bermuda vacation.

Bill.

Looks like Hillary and Tipper need
another pitcher of margaritas.

Well, it's obvious none of you can help
me.

Clearly, there's only one way to make a
decision that's difficult.

So, one potato, two potato, three
potato, four. Murphy.

Murphy, I understand what a painful
decision this must be.

However, I might point out that in
approximately 16 hours, a very expensive

French film crew will be at the La
Parisienne Hotel looking for a blonde

American anchor person.

Now, that could be you, or it could be
Frank in a wig. I could live with that.

You're right, Miles.

I have to make this decision myself.

Okay.

If I get to my car without stepping on a
crack, I go.

Oh, God.

Whatever you decide is okay.

She'll go.

No, she won't.

Oh, yeah?

If she doesn't go, I buy everybody lunch
tomorrow.

It's a bet. Don't take a piece of that.
Anybody want to bet on how long before a

blood vessel birthed in my brain?

So, what I'm saying is... If I did go to
Paris, I'd only be gone for four days.

You barely note it.

A baby's brain doesn't even recognize
time has passed.

You're kind of like the Beach Boys that
way.

Don't get me wrong.

It's very important for me to be a good
mother.

I'm just not exactly sure what that
means.

You know, my mother wouldn't even have
had this conversation.

Yep. Your Grandma Avery always did
exactly what she wanted.

Very strong -willed, which,
incidentally, seems to run in the

And I have a feeling that wherever she
is right now, she's getting a big kick

out of what you're putting me through.
Yeah.

So you think that's funny, too, huh?

Oh, great.

Just what I need. Another Avery in my
life.

Avery.

Avery Brown.

Oh, jeez, I don't know.

How do you do that to a little boy?

Still, you've got to admit, there is
something about it that feels kind of

right.

What do you think?

Okay, you got it.

I just hope for your sake that wasn't a
gas bubble.

I think your cab's here.

Either that or it's that Shriver lady
coming to pick up your stereo setup.

So, are you going to go or not?

Just give me a second, okay, Eldon?

Okay.

Here's the deal.

I may not know a lot about this mother
business, but one thing I am sure of is

that if I can't be who I am,

I won't be much good to you.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...
I gotta go do my job.

Okay, Eldon.

Here you go.

Take good care of Avery.

Excuse me?

That's his name, Eldon.

Avery Brown.

Oh, I like it.

Oh, I like it a lot.

What's his middle name?

Middle name?

Yeah. Well, he's got to have a middle
name. How else is he going to know when

you're mad at him?

What's your middle name?

Radislav.

He'll know when I'm mad.

Eldon, I'll call you as soon as I get to
Paris.

Okay,

Avery.

Here are the rules.

No parties, no girls.

And no matter how much you cry, you
can't borrow the Porsche.

Bye.

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye, Mommy.

Bye. Bye -bye, Mommy.

Hey. Oh, yeah.

You're developing a very nice technique.
Do you know that? A real Picassoist

form.

This one. This one definitely deserves a
place on the Refrigerator Door Museum

of Art.

Hey, pal. Any cab driver in Paris would
be thrilled with a 5 % tip.

I'm home. So we gathered.

You're also a day early.

Well, so what's the big deal? I'm a day
early.

You've seen one European summit
conference. You've seen them all. Watch

make your finger paint. Hello, Avery.

You survived three days with your Uncle
Eldon.

Not to belabor a point.

It was supposed to be four days with
Uncle Eldon.

What sort of haste did you return?

Oh, I wonder.

Could it be that you actually might have
missed the little guy?

Oh, I missed a lot of things in Paris,
Eldon.

My own bed, American football, waiters
that don't smoke when they bring you

soup.

Hey, I got presents.

You want me to take them? No, no, no.
It's okay, I got it.

There it is.

Look at that, Avery. Something you can
really sink your little gums into.

Actually, Alden, this is for you.

It's a soft sculpture from the Louvre
Museum. I thought you'd like it. Oh.

Wow.

The French.

They are a funny race.

This is for Avery.

Gee.

Toes are so little, aren't they, Alden?

Really, really little.

I bet I could get his whole... foot in
my mouth.

Didn't they feed you on the plane?

You want to tell me again about what it
was you missed?

Okay. I missed him.

I wasn't planning on it, but I kept
getting reminded of him.

Yesterday I had lunch with Francois
Mitterrand. I sat there staring at his

balding head and pink cheeks. All of a
sudden I leaned across the table and

wiped onion soup off his chin.

What's happening to me?

Well, I believe that it's referred to In
psychological circles, that's the

bonding process.

Geez. I was hoping it was just jet lag.

You know, my whole life, I never had to
think of anyone but me.

Now, all of a sudden, I've got a
relationship with someone who's even

-centered than I am.

I have a feeling I'm not going to be
able to get my way as often as I used

You hear that, Evie?

You took out the chance.

Well, thanks for staying with him,
Eldon.

I'm going to call the nanny agency
tomorrow. You know, if I may just

there, Avery and I have something we'd
like to discuss with you along those

lines.

Avery, should I go first?

Okay. Well, you know, the thing is,
you've been going through a lot of

in the past few months, and, well,
metaphorically speaking, the streets of

Washington are strewn with nanny
carcasses.

Now, this being the case, and seeing
as... Well, I'm doing most of the work

anyway.

Well, it's... Holden, what is it you're
saying?

Are you saying you want to be the nanny?

You know, I really prefer maybe if we
could come up with a different term.

Maybe a juvenile mentor.

Physical, spiritual, and aesthetic
advisor.

Maybe just the big guy.

But why?

I seem to remember you turning down a
free goldfish once because you were

the responsibility would interfere with
your painting.

Oh, see?

As I see it, great artists, really great
artists, do their best work in the face

of a major obstacle.

Caravaggio was broke.

Van Gogh was nuts.

Michelangelo had the Pope hammering him
for a deadline.

So, thinking about it, I mean, maybe,
maybe I need an obstacle.

I mean, let's face it, a new baby makes
a pushy Pope seem like a cakewalk.

And that's the only reason you want to
do this, huh?

Hey, okay.

You know what?

The same reason you came home early,
that's the reason I want to do this.

Fair enough.

But just so I understand, how long are
we talking about here?

What? Hey, I'm an artist. I don't think
in linear concepts like time.

Tell me about it.

Look at this house.

Look at this house. Do you see any
unmitered corners? Do you see any

tape joint seams?

I don't think so.

Well, let me tell you.

I will do no less for this guy.

And I will stay right here until the
work is done.

Okay?

Okay.

Did you hear that, Avery?

We are now officially a threesome.

Yeah, that's just your typical American
family.