All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s05e06_night_of_living_news

Well, I see your point, Mr. Baldwin, and
I have to say... Miles, please.

I may be a network BP, but I think we
can drop this Mr. Baldwin business. And

here on in, why don't we do this on a
first -name basis?

Well, thank you.

It means a lot to know you think of me
as equal.

Mitch.

It's Mitchell.

Of course.

Mitchell. What was I thinking?

You're not a Mitch. I went to school
with a Mitch. He was a short, fat Jewish

kid.

You're tall.

and thin and probably not Jewish.

All right, everybody, listen up. When I
left last night, Babar was holding a big

fuzzy peanut in his trunk. It was a gift
from Rosalind Carter to my son,

Franklin Delano Brown.

Now, I'm going to put him on this desk,
and if Babar isn't sucking on that shell

by 5 o 'clock tonight, somebody better
be prepared to kiss their goobers

goodbye.

Uh, Murphy, if I can tear you away from
this major investigation?

Sure, Mitchell. What's up? You called
him Mitchell? Oh, yeah. What else am I

going to call him? Mitch?

Morning, guys. Hi, Mitchell.

Morning,

Mitchell.

Frank, you should hear this, too.

As you may know, I'm overseeing the
network's new overnight news show. We

very excited about this. We want to get
the public excited as well. That's why I

want your help.

Miles, I could use your input here.

Really? My input?

Of course.

Now, here's the concept. Starting at 2 a
.m., we're going to have three hours of

in -depth features, weather, sports, and
a viewer call -in segment.

Now, the challenge is, how do we get our
show to stand out from the competition?

It seems... Got it.

We push the fact that the show
originates in Washington.

News from the news capital.

It's an interesting thought, Miles, but
I don't think so.

Anyway... Okay, okay. How about we go
casual? Really hit that late -night

feeling? Loose tie, rolled -up sleeves.

Intriguing. But no.

What I've been considering is using star
power to kick off the first week. A

different team with well -known anchors
each night. Well, Mitchell, that's one

way of going, but... Actually, that is
the way we're going.

But I like the fact that you kept
swinging. Remember, it only takes one

every three at -bats to make it to the
Hall of Fame.

That's right, Miles, and as of now,
you're 0 for 2. And there's talk of

you to the Cubs for a producer to be
named later.

So can we just move things along here?

Absolutely. We've lined up some of our
best people, but for our first show, I

want our 18.

Murphy Brown, Frank Fontana. Me?

You want me to be an anchor?

That's very flattering, Mitchell, but
I'm still playing catch -up from my

maternity leave, so I'm going to have to
pass.

He wants me to be an anchor.

And there's nothing I can do to change
your mind.

Change my mind?

You know, that's a concept I never
really grasped. Now, if you'll excuse

Laura and I have work to do.

Well, this is a disappointment.

Yeah, it won't be the same without her.
Do I get my own desk?

Actually, Frank, I'm afraid the concept
was for a team. Oh, well, that's okay. I

can work with anyone.

Well, all right.

Not anyone. I draw the line at Gene
Shallott. I hear he clipped his nails

commercial breaks. Katie Corrick told me
she almost lost an eye.

Well, I'm sorry, Frank.

Looks like they have to do a major
rethink. Miles, I'm going to need your

on this one. Oh, God. Excuse me?

I said, oh, good.

Really, it sounded like, oh, God.

It was.

Oh, God is good.

It's part of an old Hebrew prayer.

Oh, God is good. God is great.

Thanks for this food that's on my plate.

Hey, Murph.

Did you believe Baldwin?

Trying to make us his opening night
shills. I'm not doing it, Frank. Oh,

on, Murph. I need this.

It's important to me. It's my chance to
show the network I have what it takes to

carry a whole show.

Besides, you and me together, it'll be
fun.

You want fun?

Send Dan Quayle a Where's Waldo book,
then stand back and watch his head

explode.

It's just one night. Is that so much to
ask after 16 incredibly close years of

friendship?

You know, you and I are almost the same
size. If you ever need a lung or a

kidney, I'm willing to sign something
for you right now.

Boy, a little more snow in here, we
could go tobogganing.

All right, all right. I understand.

I don't want to ask you to do something
you're just not up to anymore.

What's that supposed to mean? Oh, it's
okay, Murph, really. Motherhood.

can take a lot out of a person. So
you've lost a step or two that is

you to be ashamed of. Don't do this to
me, Frank. And I want you to know that I

don't think any less of you. Just
because the old Murph would have done it

doesn't mean... I hate you, Frank. So
you'll do it? Yes. But you owe me. You

me big. Yeah, sure. Anything you want.
Listen, I gotta get to Bolton before we

find somebody else.

I mean it, Frank.

And I'm not waiting until I get sick. I
want that kidney in my fridge tonight.

I think we should start off with a
report from Sarajevo, then we go

the Economic Summit report.

What do you think?

Frank, it's 1 .57 in the morning. At
this hour, I don't think. I either sleep

change diapers. So unless you've had a
little accident, I don't want to hear

about it.

Murph, would you show a little energy
here? We're anchoring the premiere of a

new show. This is exciting.

Excuse me, guys.

I just want to say how proud we are to
be part of a team. I know you all feel

the same way.

So let's get out there tonight and have
a killer show. Yeah. Get off my cable.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, great show tonight, guys.

Oh, God.

They hit me already.

Okay, people.

Three minutes to air.

Buzz Ramsey, the director. Frank
Fontana, the anchor.

This is pretty exciting, isn't it? The
kickoff episode of what could become

television history.

I'm here. I'm awake.

Don't push it.

And don't talk to me about television
history.

I used to be at the top of this
business.

Chet Huntley's golden boy, they called
me.

Remember goodnight, David? Goodnight,
Chet. That was mine.

Now, look at me. I'm on opposite Talmud
Talk with Rabbi Dave on public access.

But, hey, this could be the start of
something really big for you. Look at

Nightline. You're a very chippy young
man.

Give it a rest.

Let's get this thing over with. We got
three hours to kill.

Breaking stories at the top of the hour,
yada, yada, yada, yada.

Features, yada, yada, yada, yada. You
take some phone calls.

Who's doing the weather report? You? Oh,
yeah, right.

And then I'm going to demonstrate how to
make wreaths out of common garden

succulent.

No, no problem. I'll do the weather.

Well, I'm gratified.

Sports updates once an hour.

I can do that. A local station breaks
every 15 minutes. I'll introduce them.

Aren't you the busy beeper?

If that's all settled, I'd just like to
double check something on the freedom of

speech piece right there. I have two
different tapes. The longer one runs in

first hour. Will you remember that? Gee,
after 40 years in this business, I hope

I don't get mixed up.

I'm going to walk to the booth now.

Okay?

Left foot, right foot, left foot.

Music in 5, 4, 3, 2... Good morning, I'm
Murphy Brown. And I'm Frank Fontana.

Welcome to the first edition of
Overnight News.

And though the question remains, at what
point does the right to free expression

collide with one's obligation to be
socially responsible?

Frank? Thanks, Murphy.

And in our next hour, we'll be taking
your calls to discuss the issue of free

speech, as well as recapping the top
stories. Stay with us.

We're clear.

This is really going well. Don't you
think, Murph? I'm telling you, it's like

whole new world for me. Being out in
front, running things. I love it. I

really love it.

Frank, pace yourself, will you? We've
got two hours to go, and you're pumping

enough adrenaline to give a gazelle
cardiac arrest.

Welcome back in five, four, three.

Welcome back. We're about to take off.

Freedom of speech.

How far is too far?

And our first call is from Dayton, Ohio.

You're on the air.

Yes, I believe that free speech is being
hurt by an unfair judicial system.

I myself get called for jury duty at
least once every six months.

And then they never pick me.

And on top of which, the parking is just
terrible.

Well, that's very thought -provoking.
Tonight we're discussing freedom of

speech. Oh, I know. I'm using my freedom
of speech to talk about jury duty.

And you just did.

Massachusetts. You're on the air.

Yeah, I'd like to comment on the
proposed seven -day waiting period to

handgun. What's the point?

After seven days, I'm not mad anymore.

Look, maybe I didn't make myself clear.

The topic tonight is freedom of speech.

Not jury duty, not gun control. Freedom
of speech. I don't want to have to say

this again.

Uh, I don't mean to...

push you, sir, but would you mind
getting to your question?

Yes, of course. I'm sorry.

Anyway, what would happen if you were on
a plane that was about to crash and

just before it hit the ground, you
jumped up as hard as you could?

Well, Roy from Pittsburgh, your head
would probably rip through the roof with

such force that whatever brain cells you
may have had would be picked up with

the stray luggage.

I see it's time for both our next
commercial and your medication.

We'll be back after this.

Claire. What are you doing? You can't
talk like that on the air. Why not?

it, Frank, it's 3 a .m. The only people
watching us are just killing time till

the next commercial where that guy cuts
his kid's hair with a vacuum cleaner.

Okay, okay, so we've had a few
crackpots, but it's not like all the

that weird. Frank, do you really think
we had a conversation with the Queen of

England?

Well... You've got to admit, his accent
was pretty convincing.

Oh, man, listen to me. You were right,
Murph. This is a nightmare.

My big chance to be an anchor. What the
hell was I thinking?

I'm sorry I dragged you into this. Oh,
Frank, it's not that bad.

After all, it's not every day we get to
talk to a man who claims to have the

only Baskin -Robbins franchise on the
lost continent of Atlantis.

I'm really excited out. Don't get me
started. I'm punchy enough already.

back with weather in 15 seconds. All
right, all right. Let's just get through

the rest of the show and try to escape
with as much dignity as we can.

Oh, wow.

Look how big I am.

staying up with us on the Overnight
News.

I'm Frank Fontana. It is 3 .28 a .m.,
and if you're just joining us, well,

the heck are you doing up at this hour?

Let's have another look at the weather.
The Midwest is still, there it is,

feeling the effects of a record cold
front.

Fergus Falls, Minnesota, had a record
low of 5 degrees.

And I'll tell you, I bet in that kind of
cold, when Fergus falls, he has a hard

time getting up.

Let's get back to the weather here.

Murphy, could you step over here and
help me out with something? What? Just

on over here.

Just stand here like this.

Ladies and gentlemen, hands across
America.

using peach slices for his little beak
and blueberries for his eyes. Now, I

that the baby can't eat them, but
they're visually stimulating.

Although, you know, now that I think
about it, oh, gee, I hope he's not

traumatized watching us wolf down
America's most beloved cartoon, Birdie.

Eldon, I worked till five this morning.
I've only had 90 minutes sleep, so I

know you'll understand when I tell you I
worked till five this morning!

Zero to cranky in 3 .2 seconds.

Why are you making breakfast?

Don't tell me we lost another nanny.

She called this morning.

From Las Vegas.

Now, apparently she's found employment
in something called Nudes on Ice.

And speaking as someone who once
accidentally walked into the kitchen

was rehearsing, I predict a very quiet
box office.

We dine in ten minutes.

And put on a robe.

Hi,

Frank. We're having canaries for
breakfast.

Interested?

I just watched the tape of last night's
show and I think we might have gone a

little bit too far.

I can't believe we actually called the
White House at four in the morning and

told them we were the Clintons'
decorators and could we come over and

measurements?

I wasn't the one using the cheesy
Italian accent, Mr.

Fabrizio of Georgetown.

Man, this was my one chance to show the
network I had what it takes to be an

anchor.

Baldwin gave me a shot. I made a fool of
myself.

Oh, come on, Frank. You don't have
anything to prove to the network. They

you're an important part of FYI. Oh,
yeah, yeah, part of the team.

You know, it's just like in high school
when I went out for track.

I wanted to be a sprinter in the 100
-yard dash.

Everybody always watched the sprinters.

But Coach Jaworski put me in the two
-mile relay.

I was the second man in a four -man
race.

I didn't start. I didn't finish. I
handed the baton to the guy who handed

baton to the guy who finished.

While I was running, most people went
off to the snack bar.

Now, we thought, just once, I would like
to be the guy in front. The one that

everybody watches.

You probably think this is really silly,
don't you?

I don't think it's silly, Frank.

I think it's pathetic.

You have an exciting job you love. You
won a Humboldt Award. You earned a ton

money. But you can't get past being the
human tortoise 25 years ago. Okay, fine.

Let's just drop the whole thing. No, no,
no, no, no. I just want to understand

this. So, because you weren't a
sprinter, you want to be an anchor now.

You want to stop doing the brilliant
field reporting you love and spend the

of your career stuck behind a desk
saying things like, thanks for that

Bob. Is that what you're saying? No,
that's what you're saying. What I'm

is... Oh, look, never mind. It doesn't
matter. After what happened last night,

they're never going to give me another
chance to anchor anyway.

Oh, stop wallowing, Frank. It wasn't
that bad.

Oh, yeah? Well, um, maybe you didn't
notice, but at about a quarter to five,

when you were doing your report on the
Prime Minister of Australia, I hopped

across the set holding your purse in
front of me like a pouch.

Yeah, right.

Really?

You mean you didn't watch?

Evans, no. I can't stay up that late.

You think I'm going to come to work with
my face all puffy and bags under my

eyes looking like something a cat
dragged in?

Sorry, Murphy.

I tried to tape it, but Doris gave me
one of those automatic VCR programmers

our anniversary, and I must have pushed
the wrong button because I ended up with

some show about impotence hosted by Lyle
Waggoner.

Frank, I'll view it tonight. What?

Oh, I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't get a
chance to tape it. Oh, sure, Frank.

If he doesn't want us to see it, it
probably means something really bad

happened. Tim, go get a copy of the
overnight newsroom video.

Everyone, screening in my office in ten
minutes.

I'm doomed.

I see.

That's an interesting concept, Miles.

Murphy, Frank, I thought you'd be
catching up on your sleep after last

Well, you know us. Always on the job.

I guess you didn't see the show last
night. Oh, I saw it. All three hours,

beginning to end.

Start to finish.

Did you see it, Miles?

Well, as a matter of fact, I did catch
the first hour.

Good. What'd you think? I like your
input.

My input?

Well, I could try to guess what you want
to hear.

50 -50 chance of being right.

But I'm not going to do that.

I'm going to tell you what I actually
thought, no matter what.

I thought it was good.

I agree.

You do?

The first hour was very good. I just
wish you'd seen the rest of it. Well, I

didn't, which means I couldn't possibly
have an opinion on it, which means I'm

walking away a winner!

He's a good man, but high -strung.

Like a dog that's been beaten by a
previous owner.

About those last two hours.

Mitchell, what happened on the air last
night was mostly my fault.

It was late. I got punchy. So if there
are any repercussions, I should be the

one to deal with them. No, wait, Murph.
I can't let you take all the blame.

I probably should have tried harder to
stop her.

As I was saying, the first hour was very
good.

And the rest of it...

Got a terrific audience response.

You're kidding. What?

We made a mistake. We went in with the
show that was too serious for that time

slot. You showed us that people want a
little irreverence and unpredictability

at that time of night.

So you liked it? Me? No.

I've never been a big fan of kangaroo
imitations, Frank.

But you can't argue with ratings, so
we're going to revamp the format of the

show and try to incorporate more of that
unstructured freewheeling spirit that

you so deftly brought to the screen.

Oh, great, just what this country needs,
more wacky news. You're interrupting,

Murph. You were talking about my
freewheeling spirit?

Well, simply put, you have exactly the
quality we wanted in the anchor for the

new overnight news.

Oh, wow.

Did you hear that, Murph?

Exactly the quality.

I've waited to hear something like that,
and I always thought I'd know exactly

how I'd respond.

But now... I love my work.

And I'm proud of it, and I don't think
I'd ever really be happy doing anything

else.

I guess the important thing was having
it offered to me, but I'm afraid I'm

going to have to say no.

Well, that's a courageous decision,
Frank. And you can't imagine how

disappointed I would be if I were
actually offering you the job.

What?

I wasn't offering you the job, Frank.

You weren't offering me the job?

You already have a job on FYI. I just
have to find a Frank Fontana type.

Someone a little cheaper.

Probably a little younger.

Well... How about that, Murph?

I just turned down a job I wasn't even
offered.

The final kick -me sign on the butt that
is my life.

Point is, you turned it down.

The old Frank would have jumped at that
job.

You turned it down because you're happy
with who you are. That's a real sign of

growth, Frank.

You're right.

Maybe I've got more self -esteem than I
thought.

Maybe I don't need constant validation
to feel good about myself anymore.

Maybe I am finally at the point in my
life where I don't care what other

think. Hey, everybody.

I've got the tape. Oh, my God.

Tim. Tim, give me the tape.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'll give you $50, Tim.

We're live with the Bindle Beats.
Catherine, what makes this season of

fatherhood new?

Then I said a bunny kitty. Then I went
for a walk. Stop!

Fatherhood, the new season, starting
this Tuesday night at 9 .30. Only on

at Night.