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I am Murphy Brown. You must be my...
You're a new secretary, Lila Mays.
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You're a busy woman, Miss Brown, so
let's not waste time getting acquainted.
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I'm a firm believer that efficiency is
the keystone to any successful business
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operation.
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I couldn't agree with you more.
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So, well, let me just give you these
research files, and I'd like you to...
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them and highlight any useful
information.
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No. Photocopy and distribute them.
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File them. They go in the file drawer
that's... In your desk.
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In my desk.
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On another floor. In a different
building.
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Over there. Just out of curiosity, what
was your last job? I was a simultaneous
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translator at the United Nations.
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Hi, Corky.
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Doris, hi. What are you doing here?
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I was just over at the upholsterer, and
I thought I'd run a few of these
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swatches by Jim. They're for that
antique mahogany footstool in his study.
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I'm torn between the green chintz and
the more durable canvas.
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What do you think?
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Gee, Doris, I'm afraid I don't have
time. See, I have to get this to my
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producer. Oh, oh, by all means.
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Let's go. I love what you've done with
your hair.
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Really? I've worn it this way since the
Carter administration.
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Oh, you.
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Hi, Doris.
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What are you doing here?
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Oh, hello, Frank. I just popped in to
see Jim. We're reupholstering his
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footstool. Oh, great, great. Look, I
hate to be rude, but I am this close to
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breaking a major Defense Department
scandal. Oh, say no more, Frank. I'm a
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newsman's wife. The news waits for no
one. Right, right. Well, let's all get
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together for dinner sometime soon. Oh,
yes, that would be really nice.
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Doris, hi.
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Ooh, fancy napkins.
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Actually, they're swatches. I'm holding
that thought. Doris, Lila, we need to
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return to... It saves the editing.
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Books in the library.
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Clothes that didn't fit.
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Phone calls.
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I'm working on a follow -up to my Iran
-Contra story, so let's start with
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Wyoming.
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Yes, get me Casper Wyoming. Ask them if
they're upset that Cheyenne got to be
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the state capital, and when you're
finished, get me Casper Weinberger on
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phone.
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Looks like you got your hands full
today.
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You should have seen me yesterday,
editing a story, wolfing down a salad,
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doing a phone interview with Boris
Yeltsin all at the same time. Then the
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nanny calls on the other line, frantic
because she's mistakenly fed the last
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bottle of breast milk to the cat next
door.
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At one point, things got so crazy, I
wished the nanny luck with the Russian
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economy and told Yeltsin I didn't have
big enough breasts to nurse a Siamese.
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Goodness, I guess I didn't realize how
much more demanding your job would be
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with the baby. You and me both. I guess
I'm just one of those people who doesn't
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feel alive unless they're challenged.
Well, enough about me. What have you
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up to? Oh, the usual.
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Garden club, church choir.
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In a couple of hours, I'll be defrosting
a lamb shank.
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I'll tell you, Jim, I think you should
call me. All right. What are you doing
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here?
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That seems to be the question of the
day.
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I brought the swatches for the
footstool. I've narrowed it down to two
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Jim, if you'd like to make the final
decision. Oh, well, now isn't really the
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best time. Why don't we go over them
tonight after dinner?
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That's when I do the dishes.
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After the dishes?
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It's Thursday. After I do the dishes, I
have to haul the trash cans out to the
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curb.
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You've only had to do that on the
occasional Thursday when I haven't been
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Why don't we discuss it tonight?
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You want to discuss it tonight? We'll
discuss it tonight.
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In the meantime, I'll be at home trying
to think up new and exciting ways to
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keep the dog from drinking out of the
toilet.
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On the other hand, um, let's see, these,
um... Ah, this blue fabric is handsome.
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Blue clashes with the wallpaper I spent
three weeks of my life picking out. Or
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red, then. It's hard to visualize.
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Oh, well, why don't I get down on all
fours? We'll put the fabric on my back
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see how that looks. Miles, pull that
chair over here behind me and we'll
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I don't want to.
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Fine. Then I'll just take my little
swatches and get out of everyone's way.
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Here I go. A 49 -year -old woman with
nothing better to do than chauffeur
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around town.
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Did you hear that?
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49 years old.
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A lot of spunk for 49.
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I think I'll go tell her that.
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So, what looks good?
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Jim, if you decide you want to talk
later, hombre de hombre.
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I'm here.
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Great. Just what he needs. Advice from
Zorro.
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Thank you, Murphy.
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And while I'm at it, let me add my
heartfelt gratitude to you for telling
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she has a meaningless life. What? I
never said that to Doris. I'd never tell
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anyone their life was meaningless.
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Oh, okay, that one time to Ed McMahon.
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Hey, Jim, before you order, we're out of
a couple of sets.
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Should have heard it. Murphy this,
Murphy that.
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What a lovely way to spend a morning.
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Standing in a parking garage while your
wife tells you she feels empty, unhappy,
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and unfulfilled. Maybe Doris needs a
little affection.
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Hey, Carl, to dinner.
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Oh, right.
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A nice piece of fish will make her
forget her world is crumbling.
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Is everything okay between you and
Doris?
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You know, in the boudoir?
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Please.
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Of course, things are fine.
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At least, I assume they are. I mean...
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Wouldn't I know if they were?
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Not always.
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For Pete's sake, aren't you amateurs?
Step aside before somebody gets hurt.
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Jim, it sounds to me like what the
missus needs is to find her own
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Yes, that's something Doris mentioned,
that she doesn't know who she is. What
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you know, Phil? What?
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Looking at it from her side, it can't be
easy. No career of her own. People only
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seeing her as Mrs. Jim Bob.
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In my opinion, she's in a rut and needs
a change.
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Ah, a rut. In other words, something
brought on by a long -term situation
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than a harmless comment by an innocent
friend.
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What kind of change are we talking
about, Phil? Hey, I only identify the
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problem.
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The answer is I'd be running one of
those fancy restaurants where the
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who come in leave more than a crummy 4 %
tip last night, Frank.
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I'm sorry, Phil. I was in a hurry. Yeah,
well, I'll try not to be in a hurry the
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next time I'm cooking you pork.
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This doesn't make any sense.
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When Doris and I got married, we had an
agreement.
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I'd work and she'd take care of our
home.
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I know that may sound old -fashioned,
but it worked for us. At least until
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Jim. Even though you accuse me unfairly,
I will break one of my most sacred
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rules and give you some advice.
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Now, it's pretty apparent Doris needs a
change in her life.
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You can fight that, or you can support
her in whatever it is she wants to do
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make it easy on yourself.
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Oh, hell's bells.
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Things have been fine with us for 30
years, and now this happened.
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Why does life have to be such a roller
coaster?
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It's a beautiful day in our nation's
capital.
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Oh, nice belt, Frank.
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Hi, Jim. Have a good weekend?
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Delightful. Now, I know last week the
situation with Doris had me a little on
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edge, but you'll be pleased to hear that
everything has turned out fine.
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What'd you do, Jim? Bury her in the
basement?
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Quite humorous, Miles.
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Actually, this past week, with my
encouragement, she's looked into part
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work, she's enrolled in a candle -making
class, and she's taken up topiary.
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Our front hedge is now cut in the shape
of two elk locked in mortal combat.
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This quest to fulfill herself is
bringing her such joy. Well, of course
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And let me just remind everyone it was
my suggestion for Jim to support her and
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stand behind her. And it's not just
Doris who's reaping the benefits.
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These new explorations of hers have
opened up fresh new discussion between
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new feelings.
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Look what I bought her in support of her
new identity.
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Engraved note cards.
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Very nice, Jim.
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but read what they say.
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Doris died.
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Not Mrs. Jim died.
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Doris died.
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I think she'll be pleased.
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Well, of course she will, because you
supported her, as I advised you to.
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I owe you a debt of gratitude, Slugger.
Your advice was well taken.
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Well, when you've lived life as fully as
I have, you've become somewhat of a
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guru of the human community. Oh, would
you give me a rest, Doris?
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Greetings, all.
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Hey, Doris.
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Doris, what a wonderful surprise. I have
something for you.
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And I have something for you. You know
how in my quest to expand my horizons,
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I've been looking for the perfect thing
that says I'm Doris Dial and this is
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what I'm all about?
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I've finally decided.
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Tuesday at the Cabernet Cabaret, Doris O
'Rourke.
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Doris O 'Rourke?
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Yes, it's my maiden name.
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This is a flyer for a performance I'm
putting together. I'm going to sing.
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Sing? What do you mean, sing?
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Words are going to come out of my mouth
while music's playing.
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There's this little cabaret on
Connecticut Avenue. Tuesday night, they
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local talent.
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This is so exciting. I didn't know you
were a singer, Doris. Well, never
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professionally. Although I once was
invited to audition for Johnny Mann's
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Up and Cheer.
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Unfortunately, it was the same week Jim
and I went on our honeymoon to historic
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Williamsburg. I guess there's always
been a part of me that's wondered what
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would have happened if I had taken that
road.
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Now, after a 30 -year detour, I'm going
to find out.
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I would love it if you'd all be there
for me. No, Doris, these are all busy
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people. I'm sure they don't have time to
be there.
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Fabulous. And I was thinking, after we
could all get together for a little post
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00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:20,840
-theater party.
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00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:28,160
Doris, Doris, this singing in a public
place with public people, we should
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really talk about this.
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00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:32,500
But not now, dear. I have a mountain of
things to do. How about tonight when I
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00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,700
get home? I'm going to be late, so heat
up a lean cuisine.
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00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:37,740
Jim?
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00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:41,300
If it hadn't been for your support, I
don't know if I'd had the courage to do
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this.
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00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:45,640
Honey, wherever you found the strength
to be so understanding, I just love you
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for it.
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Come
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on,
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Jim. We've waited long enough for him.
We don't want to walk in late on Doris.
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You go ahead. I think I forgot to lock
my car. I think Jim's just a little
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nervous about seeing Doris perform.
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00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,500
Are you a little nervous, Jim?
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00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,620
Are you a little nervous about seeing
Doris Perthorne?
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00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,020
Yes, Jim.
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00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,420
That's an ugly color on you.
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I'm sorry I'm late. I had to feed the
baby and then I had to set up for
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00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,300
post -theater party.
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00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:27,320
And now, ladies and gentlemen, our next
act is a singer all of us
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here are very excited about.
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00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,600
And not because she lets us watch her
get dressed.
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00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:43,320
Kidding aside, let's have a nice Ward
Cabaret welcome for Miss Doris O
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Thank you.
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00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:59,160
Once I built a railroad, made it run.
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Once I built a railroad, now it's done.
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00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,980
Brother, can you spare a dime?
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00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:23,140
Once I built a tower to the sun, brick
and
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00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:25,020
mortar and lime.
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00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:30,480
Once I built a tower, now it's done.
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00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,740
Brother, can you...
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In khaki suits. Oh, gee, we look swell.
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Wearing that yankty doodly dum.
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Half a million boots.
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don't you remember?
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I'm your pal.
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00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,620
Oh, buddy.
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00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,540
Can you help me out here?
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00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:23,260
Wow. Doris Nile. Jim Doris.
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00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:27,000
Wow. I know. I had no idea she was so...
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00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,230
Next number is 3141 South Bedford
Avenue. Now, are you coming home with me
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00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,230
not?
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00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,630
My audience wants another number.
233
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He's pretty upset. I'd better go talk to
him.
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00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:58,150
And now I'm going to let loose and shake
things up a bit.
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00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,150
Right after this.
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00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:12,070
I'd have to say, to put it in the
performer's vernacular, I killed big
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00:15:12,430 --> 00:15:16,610
Although at first it seemed to me that
the audience seemed a bit tentative.
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00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:17,610
do you think, Frank?
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00:15:18,090 --> 00:15:23,050
Well, at first I was a little tentative.
I listened right up.
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00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,810
Approximately when during my performance
did that happen? Pretty much the same
241
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:27,810
time you did.
242
00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:30,290
And how about you, Miles?
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00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,830
Oh, well, it happened a little later for
me.
244
00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:36,430
I think it was when you did the split
during Ave Maria.
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00:15:42,669 --> 00:15:43,669
Totally spontaneous.
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00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:48,710
I was just consumed by the moment. So
you said earlier. And speaking of
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consumed, there's one last piece of
cake. I believe it's yours, Doris. Come
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00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:55,990
eat it and we'll call it a night. I am
much too exhilarated to eat.
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I suppose one trained in the workings of
the human psyche might say that I don't
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00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:04,330
want to eat the last piece because I
don't want this glorious evening to end.
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00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,280
When she sang Fever, oh.
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00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,900
But then she did that Is That All There
Is thing. Wow, what was that all about?
253
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,360
Because she started talking in the
middle of it.
254
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,000
You don't talk in the middle of your
songs, do you?
255
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,160
Excuse me, I've got to say goodnight to
the nanny. Can I say goodnight to her
256
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,260
tumor? Get your own nanny, Frank. This
is Arnold.
257
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,500
Thank you for everything. You've been so
good with the baby.
258
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,220
Oh, how could it be any other way with
such a sweet child?
259
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,520
I'm so lucky to have finally found
someone like you. Here, let me help you
260
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,980
with your coat. Oh, no, that's not
necessary.
261
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:50,300
See what you've done?
262
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,140
You've ruined the surprise.
263
00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:55,920
You see, I was just taking these out to
be redicked.
264
00:16:56,180 --> 00:17:00,440
Yeah, and I work part -time as a rodeo
clown. Okay, just give me the silverware
265
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,440
and get out, okay?
266
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,040
Well, I guess if I'm not taking the
silverware...
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00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,260
chosen to express myself through music.
Or, as the poet Andrew Marvell called
268
00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:16,420
it, the mosaic of the air.
269
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:19,380
All day!
270
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,960
Oh, the nanny just mentioned how late it
is. 11 .20, can you believe it?
271
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,119
All good things have to come to an end.
272
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,840
You know what I've always wondered
about?
273
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:33,860
Why is it you never see more guys
playing the harp? Oh, well, Elton, for
274
00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:35,860
most part... Can I talk to you for a
second?
275
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,740
What are you doing, Ellen? I've been
trying to break up this party for the
276
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,660
hour. Now you're just throwing logs on
the Doris fire. Now just go.
277
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,000
Shoo, now.
278
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:51,240
You know, why is it whenever you want to
get rid of a room full of people, I'm
279
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,140
the only one you have no problem being
rude to?
280
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,780
It just shows how comfortable I feel
with you.
281
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,980
Well, let's hope we never lose that.
282
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:02,720
Ellen. Hello.
283
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,400
Whatever you do, don't ask the redhead
anything.
284
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:12,250
Eldon sends his apologies. He'll call
you about that pressing harp question.
285
00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:15,890
Well, being as the party is breaking
up... Jim?
286
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:17,530
Doris?
287
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:18,730
Well,
288
00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:26,410
you two probably have a lot to talk
about, so don't feel you have to stay to
289
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:28,010
help me clean up. You can just go.
290
00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:31,170
What is it you've come for, Jim? You've
already missed the party.
291
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:37,270
Well, I've been driving around town
thinking, and I've decided to forget all
292
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:40,950
about... tonight's unfortunate incident
and we'll just put it behind us.
293
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:45,670
Which unfortunate incident would that
be, Jim? The discovery that your wife
294
00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:48,930
a mind of her own or that you are a self
-centered, boorish oaf?
295
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:53,210
Well, better get some water on this, you
know, Kate.
296
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:57,950
What you did on that stage tonight was
inexcusable. Everyone was embarrassed
297
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,430
you. Weren't you, Murphy? Is that true,
Murphy? Were you embarrassed?
298
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,760
Oh, gee, Doris, you know, I'm not much
of a judge of what's embarrassing.
299
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,740
Don't forget, I'm the one who asked
Yasser Arafat if his head rep was Ralph
300
00:19:08,740 --> 00:19:09,800
Lauren or Wamsuda.
301
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,300
Oh, boy, look at this dry frosting. You
can see what I'm up against.
302
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,060
You want to hear me say I'm sorry, don't
you, Jim?
303
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:26,440
Well, I am sorry, but not for what I did
tonight. I am proud that I got up there
304
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,540
and fulfilled my lifelong dream.
305
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:30,930
This is like cement.
306
00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:32,670
Sorry about the noise.
307
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,750
Must make it pretty hard to talk in
here.
308
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:37,010
Might be quieter out in the car, don't
you think?
309
00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:42,250
What I am sorry about is that after 30
years of totally supporting you, I found
310
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,830
that you couldn't even give me one night
of my own.
311
00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:48,510
I'll be back for the glasses.
312
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:54,650
What is it that's bothering you, Jim?
What are you afraid of?
313
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:56,410
It's just that...
314
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:04,860
You've changed so much lately that I...
I guess I'm afraid you won't want
315
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:05,900
me or need me anymore.
316
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:13,520
Jim, don't you know how happy you've
made me this past week by standing
317
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,860
me and encouraging me?
318
00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:19,020
When I'm happy, I only love you more.
319
00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:27,240
Tell me, is this...
320
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:30,250
performing something you plan to do
again?
321
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,470
I don't know. I might.
322
00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:36,410
Was it really that difficult for you?
323
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:40,450
Wasn't there anything about my
performance that you liked?
324
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:46,210
Well, I suppose if pressed, I could find
a thing or two.
325
00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:50,730
I'm pressing.
326
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:55,990
Once I built a railroad, made it run.
327
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,080
Made it race against time.
328
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:04,660
I found your neck to look quite
appealing.
329
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:07,760
My neck?
330
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,040
Anything else?
331
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,380
Once I built a railroad.
332
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:19,540
I enjoyed your shoes.
333
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:25,960
I found them to be quite attractive on
your shapely alabaster legs.
334
00:21:28,780 --> 00:21:31,860
Brother, can you spare a dime?
335
00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:34,960
May I take you home, Miss O 'Rourke?
28947
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