All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s04e19_murphy_buys_the_farm

Excuse me. Could you remove your hands,
please?

Buddha's getting off.

Unbelievable. People are constantly
touching me. I feel like an exhibit at

Children's Museum.

You know what it is? We live in an
overcrowded city where there's no escape

any nutcase who comes along.

Good morning, everyone.

What else is wrong with living in this
city? I'm sure you'll tell us. Dirt,

crime, traffic, noise. How long have you
heard me complaining about it? Murphy,

you do a lot of complaining. I don't
think any of us have had the time to

it down by subject heading.

Well, you've heard the last of my
complaints because I'm finally doing

about it. Oh, boy, here it comes. The
farm speech.

She's fed up with the city. She's going
back to the land. And on her farm,

she'll grow some food. E -I -E -I -O.

I understand that you're bitter, Miles.
I was bitter, too, when I was a pasty

-faced, smog -sucking city dweller. But
that was... It was before yesterday, the

day I bought a farm.

You're out of here. I did. It's on five
acres in Virginia with a rambling old

farmhouse and a red rooster weather
vane. I drove up to see it yesterday and

fell in love.

I can't believe it. You actually bought
a farm just like that?

It takes me three weeks to buy a comb.

Well, I haven't bought it yet
technically, Frank. The broker said I

and spend a few days getting the feel of
the place before I make up my mind, so

I'm going to go up on the weekend.

What a wonderful thing for you and the
baby, Murphy.

You know, growing up on a farm is very
educational.

I learned a lot about life.

Although, if you're too young the first
time you see sheep, mate, it can cause

flashbacks during your honeymoon.

Wow. A weekend alone in the country?

No stress.

No deadlines.

Forget it, Frank. I'm not taking you.

Oh, come on, Murph. I need to get away.

The guy in the next apartment just
bought a stereo and he keeps playing

Herb Alpert records. If I hear The
Lonely Bull one more time... You think

need a trip to the country?

I'm the one who's stressed out. Look
what it's doing to my gums. If they

anymore, I'll be flossing my skull.

All right. you can all come. Bring your
families, bring your dog, put Granny in

a rocking chair and tie her to the roof
of the car for all I care.

But after this weekend, if you feel like
country, you can just hang out in the

Ralph Lauren department at Minkley.

So, guys, what did I tell you?

Is this rustic or what?

But I want your honest opinion. Do you
think it's really worth the money?

Uh, hard to tell, Murphy.

Did you have to pay extra for that
toilet on the front lawn?

You're all sick.

Now, there's an interesting word.

It always sounds so charming until you
realize it means how you had your

shot.

Good Lord, look at the gingham.

It's like Dorothy from Kansas exploded
in here.

They're wimps. This is the way life was
meant to be lived.

In harmony with nature, getting by with
nothing but your hands and your wits.

That's nice, Frank. Will you be driving
back with me on Sunday, or will you be

riding Babe, your blue ox?

No doubt still pawing each other in the
backseat of my car.

Oh, Jim, you know, this is their first
weekend together in quite a while, so I

find their open display of affection to
be quite refreshing.

That's because you didn't have to watch
it for two hours in the rearview mirror.

All that juvenile giggling and lip
-smacking felt like a limo driver on

night.

Howdy. Howdy. Now, is upstairs patching
a couple of holes in that room with the

bunk beds?

It's a family of squirrels living in
there.

Howdy, Ellen. Ellen came up yesterday to
see if this was a place he could work

with. So, Ellen, what's the verdict?

It's got possibilities, although I'm a
little stumped on which way to go with a

mural. You know, I'm not known for my
farm themes.

Although, I once painted a cow to
represent the working class with Ronald

milking it dry.

You are. No, you are.

No, Bunny Buster, you're the cutest.

Oh, for the love of Mike.

great place. Murphy, where do we put our
stuff?

Oh, wherever you want, as long as I get
the room closest to the bathroom.

There's a queen -size bed in one
bedroom, and then there's two twins in

across the hall, and then at the far end
there's some bunk beds. Well, Frank and

Miles should probably take those.

You mean the squirrel room?

Okay, Miles, Chip and Dale have checked
out. It's not like they have to sleep in

their nutty sheets.

All right, but I want the top bunk,
Frank. Makes no difference to me. I'm

sleeping outside.

Oh.

Are you sure Frankie gets down into the
20s here at night? Hey, you guys can

leave the cushy life if you want, but
I'm spending my weekend in the arms of

Mother Nature.

I'm going to put my bag upstairs.

If it's all right with Jim and Doris,
Will and I will take the queen -size

Oh, unless you'd rather have it, Jim.

Well, I... Will and I don't have to have
it, but he did just get back from Los

Angeles, and this is our chance to
finally be together.

Kind of a second honeymoon, really.

What if you and Doris had your heart set
on it? Oh, no, no. I only wanted it

because I'm tall and my feet hang over
the edge of a twin.

Thanks, dear.

I didn't mean it like that, Doris. It's
just that... Oh, Lord, there goes the

weekend.

You take the queen, Corky. The twin beds
will be just perfect for us. Just

perfect.

Come on, Ronnie.

Who's the happiest married person in the
whole state of Virginia?

I am. No, I...

Okay, all set for the nature hike. Ha,
fine idea.

Corky, Will, don't unpack yet. We're
going on a hike.

You know, in my college botany class, I
could identify over 473 varieties of

flora.

473, you say? My, Doris, didn't you take
botany in college?

No.

Come on, guys, we're waiting.

Geez, maybe I better go up and drag them
down.

Or we could just go off on our own.

I tell you, Murph, eating off the land
is the best.

When you know what you're doing, walking
through a wide open field is the same

thing as going up and down the aisles of
Food World.

Oak bark?

No thanks, Frank. I'm still full from
that tree stump I had for lunch.

He was beating us back. I hope he didn't
get lost.

No, no. It's the 473 varieties of flora.
I told him to stick close.

Maybe he's upstairs already.

Miles!

Uh,

excuse me, but I feel I should tell you
I found this bone under the house.

It's either from a cow...

Or a teamster.

Should be a pilgrim. This place is full
of history.

Yeah, well, let me tell you, if I find
any more history around here, my rates

are going up.

It's now tea time.

Where do I put those scones?

Is there anything I can do to help,
Doris?

No, dear.

If you had held my hand as I asked while
we crossed those slippery rocks in that

stream,

Might have helped. It's just that my
hands were full of pine cones at the

Yes, you keep saying that.

You know, Jim, there was a time when I
couldn't get you to stop holding my

Yes, well, I had these pine cones.

Why don't we go get some wood to build
you a nice toasty fire?

You do that.

I'll be upstairs freeing a trout from my
brassiere.

Oh, hi, Doris.

How was your afternoon?

Splendid. As you can see, I had my hair
done.

How was your afternoon?

Oh, fine.

Why am I starved? There's just something
about being in the country that gives

me an appetite.

Here, feel these if you have the
strength.

You know, I'll be growing my own carrots
someday soon. Not puny little ones like

these. Big ones. Farm carrots. Big
enough to choke a bunny.

There'll be frost on the pumpkin
tonight.

Good thing you've got Jim Dial, master
fire builder.

You know, most people think that
kindling is the secret to a good fire,

they're wrong.

Log placement, that's the key.

Where's the gas jet?

There isn't none, Jim. You have to do it
the old -fashioned way.

Oh, of course.

No problem.

It didn't start.

Thanks.

and was ditched and left to rot in the
wild. Wild?

We didn't ditch you. You shouldn't have
wandered off. Thanks for the tip, Reich.

Your compassion is truly overwhelming.

I hope one day I can return the favor.

I'm over here.

That's your problem.

The highlight of my afternoon was being
chased by a crazed heifer, losing my

glasses and tumbling down a steep hill,
only to land face down in a thick patch

of zygadenus, more commonly known as
Death Lily.

Thank God I have my binoculars.

Do you have any idea what it's like to
be 500 yards away from someone's front

door and think you're knocking on it?

What is it about a meal cooked in the
country? Everything is so good.

The mashed potatoes, the chicken.

How are your weeds, Frank?

Delicious. Anybody want some?

Oh, sure.

I'm going to put into my mouth something
I pay my gardener 50 bucks a month to

haul away.

Jim,

why don't you forget the fire for a
while? Have your dinner. It's getting

I've almost got it, Murphy. I think I've
got an ember.

Damn it to hell.

Corky, come on. There's open food on the
table.

Come on, Murphy. We're just trying to
stay warm. It's freezing in here.

It is not.

It is, too.

You're only warm because you're
pregnant.

This is great. I can sit here blind and
freezing, or I can go up to my room

where a family of squirrels is waiting
to pick me apart.

Not enough.

I've got a zippy log in my car, and I
say we use it. Zippy log? What's that?

Oh, it's one of those pressed sawdust
logs they sell at the supermarket. I

have it in my fire.

You brought a log?

I was born in this city. I came prepared
for any emergency.

Well, you can just forget about it. The
farmers didn't use zippy logs, and

neither are we.

Well, I guess we'll just have to snuggle
a little bit.

Virginia. You are. No, you are. No, you
are. No, you are. No, you are. Go get

the stupid log.

Here, Miles, I'll get it.

You know, I could have gotten that fire
going if the wood wasn't so quite so

wet.

I've started many damp wood fires in my
time.

Remember some of those damp wood fires I
started, dear?

In there, those fires, no man can start.

Oh, no,

no, Corky, that log won't light unless
you crumple up some paper and you put it

under the grate, and then if you add
kindling... I'm going to bed.

No, you can't. It's only 6 .15.

Okay, how are we going to spend our
country evening? There's a million

can do.

Name one.

Well, we could read. Doris brought a
book.

Seven people are going to read one book?

Besides, I didn't come here to read. I
came here to have fun.

As I was just talking.

Wouldn't that be a nice change, dear?

Yes. The lost art of conversation.

That's what the farmers did.

That's how ideas and news were passed by
farmers telling farmers.

So, why don't we start with something of
general interest?

Frank, you start us off.

Well, uh... There's an economist at
Harvard who says that the Russian people

going to have to come up with 15 to 20
billion dollars this year alone to

stabilize their economy.

Well, good night, everybody.

See you in the morning.

So, is that right, Frank?

15 to 20 billion.

I sure don't envy Elson.

I heard that 20 people were hospitalized
for fighting over a loaf of bread.

You're mad, aren't you?

20 people?

Have some dinner. I fixed you a plate.
No, thank you. The next food I eat is

going to be handed to me through a drive
-up window.

When my work here is done, I'll talk to
you back in town.

No, I gotta go. You know, the way people
are looking at me, I'm starting to feel

like the weakest member at a Donner
party.

We never do When you're feeling your
oats Usually after watching an old John

Wayne movie I have to drop everything
And run to your beck and call

They're

eccentric

sleep great. Yeah, me too.

Come on, sleepyhead. There's nothing
like a sunrise to give you a sense of

purpose and make you appreciate just
being alive.

Beautiful, isn't it?

The wind creeps up over the meadow.

What peace.

What color.

Okay, that's it. Let's go.

Hey, where are you guys going?

Back to bed.

You can't go back to sleep.

We can chop wood and mend fences.

We can find a roadside stand and sample
the fresh produce from the neighboring

farms. We're in Virginia. What are we
going to buy, tobacco?

You don't like my idea? Suggest some of
your own.

I have a television in my car.

The Bullets -Lakers game is on at 11.

You want to bring a TV in here?

Why don't you just run a Chrysler
assembly line right through the living

No, no TV, no way, period.

And I say we take a vote.

It's what the farmers would have done.

All those for the bullets.

Oh.

So, this is what it's come down to.

Well, I guess it's up to you and me to
carry the torch, Frank.

To forsake technology and carve out a
brave new direction for the well -being

future generations.

I want to watch TV.

You do?

For all of you.

Plug in your appliances.

Pollute Nirvana with your
electromagnetic waves. I've had it with

You come in here talking the talk of
farmers, and now... Well, you'll just

to live with your shame.

The queen is dead!

Get the TV!

a problem with the weekend camera crew
it's up to you to work it out i only

to remind you about the budget well i'll
taste this i might be a touch heavy on

the paprika when you're finished with
the rough of the budget back to my

in the car yep you know the number it is
a little spicy i've always loved this

commercial it's so sweet the way the
husband puts those comfort insoles into

wife's shoes in the morning when she
isn't looking don't laugh but it sort of

reminds me of you and jim

Why? Is there an air of unspoken
resentment and recrimination between

It's the kind of thing you do for each
other.

Like how Jim always washes your car on
Sunday morning or driving up here the

you took the pickle off his cheeseburger
and he didn't even have to ask.

Those are things people who really know
each other and really care about each

other do.

Well, surely you and Will do those
things?

Not really.

I don't think it means we love each
other any less, but for some reason we

never think to do them.

You're lucky.

I hope someday Will and I have what you
two have.

Well, if it isn't mission control.

What time does the shuttle lift off?

Murph, you invited us here to have a
good time. We're having a good time.

But you're not having a country good
time. Like me.

Look what I made.

Butter. I found an old churn out in the
shed and I read how to do it. It took me

three hours to make about half a stick's
worth, but I did it and it was fun and

now you're all gonna eat the damn
butter.

Sit down.

It's one of those old -fashioned non
-electric doors you have to open by

You probably don't remember how that
works.

I'm Gary Abernathy, and this is my wife,
Ann. We live on the next spread over to

the east.

Oh, well, hello. Come on in, please.

We heard that you were thinking of
buying, and so we wanted to stop by and

welcome.

They're muffins.

Well, thank you. That's right,
neighborly.

I'm Murphy Brown, and these are my
friends, city folk.

It's nice to meet you. If you have any
questions about the area, we've lived

here longer than just about anybody, so
feel free to ask.

Did you hear that?

free. Now, that's country hospitality
for you.

So, tell me, how many years has the
Abernathy clan called these parts home?

Oh, Lord, it must be, what, two years
this August?

That's it, and best investment we ever
made, and we practically stole it from

the old couple who used to own it.

Look, I really wasn't thinking of it as
an investment.

I know.

I know. You want a little place to get
away to on weekends to relax, get back

basics.

Boy, we almost went crazy our first
couple trips down here. There was

do. I mean, nothing.

Nothing. Nothing.

I thought we'd kill each other.

Truth is, we're about to sell the place
until we heard about some of the

improvements they're starting to make
around here.

Improvements? Yes. They're going to tear
down that old yellow barn across the

road and put in a mall.

But that's a landmark. That's the oldest
barn in Virginia.

Not anymore.

Oh, Gary, don't gloat.

He bought the wood, and he already sold
it to an architect in Georgetown for

three times what it cost us.

I was going to pay for the new wine
cellar.

We're finally getting progress around
here, and with the new interstate coming

through, it'll even be better.

I guess that's why so many people like
us are looking to buy out this way.

Well, we should be going.

Bye now.

Bye.

I almost forgot.

I'm supposed to say hello from your
neighbor up the road, Sam Donaldson.

See ya.

Okay. That's it. I surrender.

I give up.

If you want to pack up, we can be back
to the city by dark.

What are you talking about?

You're kicking us out? I was just
starting to have a good time. Yeah, come

We'd like to stay, too.

Fine. You're having a good time. Go
ahead. I'm getting the hell out of here.

You're not going to buy this place?

Frank, I could tolerate them all. I
could learn to live with the interstate.

I'm not driving two hours to see Sam
Donaldson and Bibb overalls and a straw

trying to milk a horse.

Our bedroom door is stuck and we can't
get in. Must be jammed.

Wait a minute. Where's Jim and Doris?

Somebody help me?

Somebody

help

me?