All language subtitles for movieddl.me_W1A.S03E05.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-WELP_track3_[eng]

Stand by, two.

Mix through, cue on two.

The BBC's announced the appointment

of ex Head of Olympic Delivery,
Ian Fletcher,

as its new Head of Values.

Time now
for the shipping forecast.

Superimpose.

Sure, OK, no, I get that.
No, I still get it, no, shut up.

Monday morning
at the BBC's London headquarters,

New Broadcasting House,
and already things are happening.

What we do here, OK, no, shut up,
we go straight to Tamsin at IBS.

OK, Tasmin, yeah, whatever.

She's the only one who knows
what's happening.

The others are are gap-year hair, whatever.

So potentially serious are
things that head of BBC Brand,

Siobhan Sharpe,
from communications giant Fun Media,

is on her way in physically and at speed.

Yeah, OK, so what she does is she gets
Claudia to tweet a denial.

Like, now, OK, like, strictly as my life, whatever.

And we retweet the shit out of it, totally
take out social media from the air.

OK, no, shut up, I got her.

I got Tamsin coming at me.
Yeah, Tasmin, yeah, whatever.

OK, yeah, I gotta go.
I gotta go. OK. Bye.

Yeah. Hey, Tasmin, how are you?
Good, yeah, I'm good, thanks.

So, according to
the BBC News App...

- And don't blame me, OK?
- I'm not, I'm just saying,

apparently they're offering her
a deal worth

... million pounds over two years.

- No, I'm sorry.
- ... million pounds?

- The fact is, that cannot happen.
- That's what it says here.

No, I'm sorry.

- Right, we're stuffed, then.
- Well, hang...

Meanwhile, upstairs, what was
supposed to be a renewal meeting

mainly about something
called "distinctivity"

has spontaneously turned into
an emergency damage limitation meeting

mostly about disaster.

Apparently, it's a circus-based show
they're talking about.

- Circus-based?
- Apparently they're rebooting

the Cirque de Celebrity format.

- No, sure.
- Right.

- Honestly.
- No, I'm sorry.

I mean, what is it with shows
in fucking tents?

Well, yes.

Rumours have surfaced
on Twitter

that one of the BBC's biggest faces

and co-host of Strictly Come Dancing,
Claudia Winkleman,

could be on the point of leaving the BBC

after being approached
by rival broadcaster ...

to host a rival show of their own.

- So, I'm on the Mail online here, OK?
- Right.

- Blimey.
- I know.

Anyway, apparently, a source
close to Tess Daly is saying

that if Claudia leaves Strictly,
then Tess will go too, out of loyalty.

- Right.
- OK, no.

- OK.
- I'm sorry.

Loyalty to what, Lucy?

- That can't happen.
- I don't know, it doesn't say.

- Brilliant.
- I'm not being negative or anything,

but we are in a very dark place here, guys.

- Brilliant.
- No, I'm sorry, no.

With charter renewal pending,
this is the worst possible time

to be facing the prospect of a BBC
devoid of competitive celebrity dancing

of any kind.

OK, the key thing is
that everybody remains calm--

- OK, so, hey, guys.
- Right, Siobhan.

- Let's do this, OK?
- Yes.

Let's nail this beaver to the tree.

Chronologically, Siobhan may
have arrived late to the meeting,

but in other ways she's already ahead
of both herself and everybody else.

- OK, so, I spoke with Claudia's agent.
- Right.

- Brilliant.
- So here's the thing with this.

Here's what it is, OK, Claudia loves
Strictly, she loves the BBC, whatever.

- Hurrah.
- Yes, exactly.

But the thing with Claudia is that
she wants like a change of direction

at this point in her blah-de-blah,
whatever.

- Right.
- A change of--

- No, it's still me.
- Right, yes.

So, Claudia's like,
"I want to do like serious shit."

You know, like people dying, whatever.

And ... I'm, like, you know,
"That's cool, that's, like,

you can totally do that as well,
like, you can do whatever you want,

plus we'll pay you a ... load
of money at the same time."

- So, when--
- So she's like, "I need head space here.

Like, I need to be in Cornwall, whatever."

- Right.
- Brilliant.

So the headline is, "Claudia's in Cornwall
at the moment thinking it over."

- Excuse me?
- Right, OK.

OK, the headline, OK, is
"Claudia Winkleman leaves Strictly," OK?

You pretty much crashed the BBC.

- No, I'm sorry.
- That's one way of looking at it.

- It totally is.
- OK, but--

- You're going to say something brilliant.
- Yes.

- No.
- You are. I feel it in my bones.

No, but before we get locked into the idea
of this being some kind of problem,

is it worth stepping back and looking
at the positives

- for a moment?
- Really?

- The positives?
- Yes.

- I knew it.
- Blimey.

I mean, for one thing, it looks as though
this might not actually be about money.

- That's handy, we haven't got any money.
- Exactly. That's a good fit straightaway.

As Head of Values
and chair of the renewal group,

the ability to think the sort of thoughts
under pressure

that no one else would even think
of thinking

is one of Ian Fletcher's
distinguishing characteristics.

And we know she's at a point where
she's looking for a change of direction,

maybe perhaps to be taken
a bit more seriously.

- Sure.
- But if you think about what we

were supposed to be
talking about this morning...

- Right.
- Yes.

- No, sure.
- Brilliant.

- Yeah, just remind me.
- The distinctivity audit.

Oh, yeah, great.

As part of the charter renewal
process, the BBC has been invited

to spend time conducting a special
"distinctivity audit"

of all the ways its output is different
from anything else you've ever seen.

It's a question of identifying anything
we might have in development

that's uniquely BBC,

which is why I asked Matt to join us here
for this as Head of Output.

- Yeah, no, sure, hey, guys.
- Yeah.

But what if what Claudia wants

and what we're looking for
turn out to be exactly the same thing?

- Blimey.
- Sure.

OK, no, I get that. That could work.

'Cause if we are looking at a solution
and not a problem here,

we could be looking at
a solution of truly epic proportions.

Ian, please don't take this the wrong way,
but this is where we all wanna hug you.

- Sure.
- Well, uh...

- No.
- You the man.

- Yes, exactly.
- No, really.

- Just to say you're safe with me, OK?
- Yes, good.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the
building, development executive Izzy Gould

is busy thinking about ideas.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi. How are you?

- So, have you seen this?
- No, what?

No, I thought not.

But although she may not know
it yet, she's about to realize that

she may well be involved in enough
developments already for the moment.

- Jesus, no.
- Yeah.

- When did this--
- I don't know, just right now.

- No.
- It's already trending.

- Oh, shit.
- It's not good news.

After Hugh Grant was asked for a selfie

on a recent visit
to New Broadcasting House,

his people have decided to become incensed
that he was misled

into endorsing an online campaign
for a BBC product

when he thought he was
just giving a selfie

to a slightly unusual
but apparently harmless intern.

OK, first of all, it's nothing to do
with me, OK?

- What?
- Like it wasn't my idea.

- No, I know it wasn't.
- But also...

- It was mine. It was my idea.
- No.

No, I knew you'd say that.
That's why I came up here.

In the circumstances,
they're demanding not only

that his image be immediately removed
from the campaign,

but that the BBC
make a charitable donation

of £1,475,000
to the Worldwide Wildlife Fund,

a pound for every YouTube hit so far.

- OK, OK.
- This is really serious, OK?

- I know.
- Like it's really serious.

- I know it is.
- OK, but it isn't your fault.

- What do you mean it wasn't my fault?
- Look...

- Of course it's my fault.
- OK, you're panicking.

- I'm not panicking.
- Look...

Of course I'm panicking.

Whose idea was it to ask Hugh Grant
for a selfie?

- OK, no.
- Was it your idea?

- No, I'm not doing that.
- You absolutely have to.

I'm not, I can't. I can't do that.

Basically, what we're talking about
the sort of programs

you wouldn't see
other broadcasters making.

- Yeah.
- Exactly.

- Brilliant.
- The sort of thing no one's gonna watch.

- The sort of thing only the BBC can do.
- That's what I just said, isn't it?

Yes, no, very good.

Back in renewal,
it's becoming clear

that coming up with a list
of distinctively BBC projects

currently in development might not be
as easy as it sounds.

- Sorry, what's this?
- Right, OK.

- Simon, do you wanna--
- Oh, yes, no.

Sorry, Lucy, sorry, Ian, brilliant.
It's just a card for Ben and Jerry.

Right.

- A leaving card?
- Yes.

- Right.
- Christ.

- I know.
- Who knew they weren't here?

- Brilliant.
- Who?

Obviously, I have no idea
how these things work, but...

In the meantime, it seems that
after interviewing both Ben and Jerry

for a new single post, it's been decided
that in the spirit of "More of Less,"

the new post itself is to be reimagined
as not existing going forward.

...as not existing going forward.

- Reimagined as not existing?
- Exactly.

- It's terribly bad luck.
- If it's any help, Lucy,

I didn't know what to put so I put,
"Best of luck, guys."

- I don't know if that helps.
- I'm not sure.

- No, probably not.
- Right, OK, well.

- Yeah, so, anyway...
- Yes, exactly, yes.

"More of Less" issues aside,
Ian's challenge now

is to marshal his remaining troops
towards an outcome

that could just solve
the BBC's distinctivity issues

and its Claudia Winkleman problem
in one giant solution

to end all solutions.

So, yes, have we actually got
anything in development?

- Sure.
- Yes, exactly, have we got anything?

No, sure, that's great,
so something to think about here,

at this point, I mean...
I may be wrong about this... is genre.

- Right.
- Brilliant.

- Genre?
- I'm just putting it out there.

Yes.

I guess what I'm asking, is it worth
thinking what area are we in here:

- drama, factual, scripted?
- Yes.

- Also, just in terms of reach, is it--
- OK, I'm so bored of this.

- Right.
- Bored?

- Like #FaceDownInMySoup.
- Well--

Here's the thing with this, OK?
This is not a safety drill, OK?

- The engines are totally on fire here.
- Brilliant.

- No, I'm sorry.
- Yes.

- The cabin just filled with smoke.
- No, not that.

OK, so what you need to do is get into
a BBC taxi to Cornwall, like now,

and you need
to love-bomb Claudia to death.

- Well, that's--
- A BBC taxi to Cornwall?

Sure. Or else you guys are flying
a stone turkey one-way to Oblivionsville.

- Right.
- Yes, no, brilliant. Very clear.

It's March

and light returns to the High Arctic,

sweeping away four months of darkness.

A polar bear stirs.

She has been in her den the whole winter.

Her emergence marks
the beginning of spring.

After months
of confinement underground,

she toboggans down the slope,

perhaps to clean her fur,

perhaps for sheer joy.

Whoa.

Will.

Her cubs gaze out
at their bright new world...

Will. - ...for the very first time.

- Oh, hey, Izzy. Yeah, hey, how are you?
- I'm good, thanks. No, I'm good.

Cool. Yeah, so I'm watching this
for Ian Fletcher.

- Yes.
- Yeah, pretty cool.

- Yes.
- David Attenborough's such a cool guy.

Yes, he is, yes.
I don't wanna bother you--

No worries, yeah, cool.

But I just...
with the whole Super Selfie thing...

- I know you're mental.
- Well, no.

A million hits, I didn't even know
who he was.

No, but when you spoke to him,
when you actually asked him to say "me"...

Yeah.

...did you tell him what it was for?

I don't know.

- So--
- I definitely told him it was for you.

- For me.
- Yeah.

- OK, that's great, Will, thanks.
- OK, cool.

Yeah, so, people think polar bears
can't smell underwater.

It's like, no, they totally can.

- Yes.
- Yeah, like there's this bit--

- Actually, Will, I better get off.
- OK.

- But thanks, it's been very helpful.
- No worries.

Yeah, no worries, yeah.
No worries, yeah, cool.

OK, well, what about--

and stay with me on this, OK, guys--

what about Claudia Winkleman's
History of the Elephant?

Right. - History of the Elephant?

I know what you're thinking,
a bit left field.

That is what I was thinking.

Meanwhile, it's tomorrow
morning and Head of Output Matt Tavener

has gathered together
some of his finest brains

for an important meeting.

But also it's like a dead-serious
subject for Claudia,

- Sure.
- 'cause they have their own funerals

- and everything.
- Yeah, I know, sure.

That's great. I get where you're coming
from with the "history of" thing.

Uh, but I guess what I'm asking...
I guess, part of my job is to...

Their mission is to come up
with program ideas that might address

Claudia Winkleman's need
to be taken more seriously,

whilst also addressing the BBC's
distinctivity and charter renewal issues

in one fell swoop.

Or, is there something out there
that might give us distinctive

and serious and, I don't know, quirky
and hinterland in one hit?

- Yes.
- Where the idea of BBCness is a cold open

and a leave-behind at the same time.

- Right.
- Yes.

Yes. Do you know what,
that's really interesting, Matt.

What about, is there something, okay:
Claudia Winkleman's History of Water.

- OK.
- Water?

It's like it's more BBC somehow.

- Sure.
- Do you think it's a bit dry for Claudia?

- Dry?
- Sure.

- She's so gorgeous.
- The history of water?

- I see what you're saying, Jack.
- OK, so--

Claudia Winkleman's History of Fruit.

- Yeah.
- No. Okay.

Maybe we should go past
the "history of" thing.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

OK, well, if it's BBCness
we're talking about,

then what about On Your Bike, then?

- Ooh, now.
- OK.

- On Your Bike?
- Yes.

- You're joking.
- In its original format.

Sure.

As a serious, like a proper chat show
for Claudia but just on wheels.

- No, sure.
- 'Cause the thing about that was,

like I kept trying to say, was...

- it is so BBC.
- Uh-huh.

- Genius.
- I don't believe this.

- Really, interesting.
- Oh, my God, Izzy.

Sure, Izzy, that's great.

It's the end of the day,

and a number of people are already
gathering in the shared experience space

for a special ceremony to celebrate
the end

of Ben and Jerry's time at the BBC.

I'm not being funny or anything,
but I can't be doing with goodbyes.

- No.
- No.

Maybe it's my childhood,
but they always end up

- getting to me in the end.
- Yes, no, very good, Tracey.

They've been with the BBC
from their arrival

as junior research executives
all the way through

to their departure as people
whose jobs no longer exist.

So it's appropriate that a block
of an entire hour has been booked out

on the Syncopatispace booking system
in order to speed them on their way.

- Is someone going to say something?
- Yes, no, sorry, Ian, about what?

- Well, about Ben and Jerry.
- Yes, of course, no, that's brilliant.

- Well, no--
- You know how you want to deal with this.

- Yes, exactly.
- But the good news is,

we've got them these as a surprise.

Right, what are they?

It's interesting, isn't it?

We don't even know what we've got them?

I've no idea how these things work,
but that's part of the surprise?

- Yes, probably.
- Genius.

Ben and Jerry's unexpected
departure may herald

the dawn of a new "More of Less" era
for the BBC,

even though no one really knows
what that means.

But if there's a new feeling
of uncertainty in the air,

it seems Lucy has decided that she
might as well apply for the new post

of Head of Empowerment,
even though no one really knows

what that means, either.

- I don't get it, obviously.
- It's really good.

Is it? I don't know. I probably shouldn't
be asking you, but is Anna on the panel?

- Anna?
- It's fine if you don't want to...

No, it's fine. I don't think she is, no.

- Right.
- Nobody tells me anything, obviously,

- but as far as I'm aware, she's not, no.
- Right.

- You're not on it?
- Me?

- 'Cause I mean--
- No. Thank God.

If I was, I'd have to declare an interest,
wouldn't I?

- Right.
- I mean, I just--

- Yes, no, yes.
- Yes.

OK. OK, thank you.

Uh, thank you.

Brilliant. Yes, no, very good.

Uh, who was it who said that life
is a series of letting go?

Anyway.

Do you know what, Simon?
I want to say Elton John.

- Brilliant.
- Elton John?

Anyway, what do I know,
but a moment to say

a few words about why we're all here,
and not just any old words, either.

Ladies and gentlemen,
current Head of Values

and all-round Captain Renewal himself,
Ian Fletcher.

Whoo!

Right, yes, I mean, thanks, Simon.

Hurrah.

So, yes.

As Simon very much says, here we are.

Hurrah.

So, what to say about Ben and Jerry
that hasn't been said before?

I might as well be honest and confess
that when I first arrived,

a bit like with Ant and Dec,

I wasn't completely confident
about which one was which.

Brilliant.

But it didn't take me long to realize

that, just like with Ant and Dec,
it doesn't actually matter.

- Hurrah.
- In the end, that's not the point.

The point is they both share the ability
to make whatever it is they do

look genuinely easy,
whilst at the same time

making everyone around them look better
than they would have done otherwise.

- Yes.
- And that's a very rare quality to have.

- Yes, it is.
- And with that in mind,

we've got you these, just as a token
really of everything we feel

and have felt about you in the past
and will continue to feel in the future,

as you seek out different challenges
in new places

with very different outcomes.

- Brilliant.
- Yes, no, very good.

So I'd ask us all to join me
in raising a toast to Ben and Jerry.

- Ben and Jerry.
- And to moving onwards.

Moving onwards.

- Brilliant.
- So that's all good.

It's another day
at New Broadcasting House,

but not just any other day.

- Claudia!
- Oh, hi.

Today is Winkleman day.

Claudia, Claudia, what can I say?
Welcome to the Pleasure Dome.

After wide-ranging discussions
between her agent and the BBC,

Claudia Winkleman has agreed to come in
and talk about On Your Bike

as a potential vehicle for her,
and Simon Harwood himself

is on hand in reception in order
to take her as seriously as possible.

I'm so sorry,
I'm really embarrassed about this,

but I don't actually know your name.

- Ah, no, God.
- Sorry.

No, of course, why would you?
I wouldn't bother with it myself

if it wasn't for doctors and so on. Simon.

- Simon.
- Simon Harwood.

Director of, I don't know, Strategic
Governance or something like that.

- OK, this is Tasmin, my agent.
- Hi.

Yes, of course, welcome, Tasmin.

I know we haven't met, but I wanna
thank you for making our lives

that much brighter with,
you know...

Yes, thanks, so shall we go up?

Yes, of course, yes, no, very good.
So, I better get you guys signed in.

- So, we're signed in.
- Right, brilliant.

- Yes.
- I've done that.

- We were waiting to be collected.
- Ah, fabulous!

I'll tell you what, she's not your agent
for nothing, Claudia, is she?

No.

Shall we go through?
Straight through the doors.

- Buckle up, guys, Claudia inbound.
- Right, where is everybody?

- Who?
- She's coming at us.

- Where's Matt?
- Matt?

- Yes.
- Yes, no, I don't know.

Meanwhile upstairs,
preparations for the crucial meeting

are taking some kind of shape.

It's to be chaired by Head of Output
Matt Tavener, who isn't here,

- Oh, my God.
- Right, OK.

- What?
- Have you not heard?

- Heard what?
- He's gone.

- Who has?
- No, shut up, David.

Gone where?

- Oh, my God.
- I don't know.

With the winds of change
blowing through the BBC,

it looks as if one of the really big trees
might have been blown over completely.

So, guys, Matt Tavener is not going to be
coming to the meeting, I'm afraid.

- Right.
- He's gone.

- Yes.
- Bummer.

- What do you mean?
- I don't know.

- He's gone to Netflix.
- He's gone to Netflix, yes.

- No way!
- He's gone to Netflix? For a meeting?

- No, he's gone.
- Right, OK.

- Matt Tavener's gone to Netflix.
- Cool.

We're announcing it
later this morning.

- It's, like, oh, my God.
- We love Netflix.

- We've been given a statement to put out.
- Do you know about this, Anna?

- No, this? When? No?
- Yes. What?

- OK, where's Simon?
- I don't know.

No, right.

You're mad. You're actually mad.

- It wasn't his fault.
- What?

- It was mine.
- What is it with him?

Elsewhere in the building,
Jack Patterson and Izzy Gould

have taken some time out
to have an argument.

It was my fault for not bringing him
up to speed with all the...

- all the issues beforehand.
- There's no speed

slow enough for that guy
to be brought up to.

With the BBC facing a demand
that it makes a £1.5 million charitable

donation to the Worldwide Wildlife Fund

following its misuse of the film star
Hugh Grant's image,

Izzy has been asked to write
a formal report on the incident

for urgent submission to
BBC Director General Tony Hall's office.

OK, I'm gonna tell them if you won't.

- No.
- I'm not gonna let you do this.

- This has nothing to do with you.
- It has nothing to do with you, either.

It's too important, it's all wrong.

But meanwhile at the same time,
unbeknown to Izzy, Jack, or anyone else,

Will Humphries is out on the streets
of London

on a secret mission of his own.

Using virtually all of his initiative,

he's come to a small recording studio
in Soho,

in pursuit of the kind of solution
to the Hugh Grant crisis

that only he could have thought of.

Yeah, hi.

Yeah, hi, yes, Will Humphries.

Right.

I'm like personal assistant
to Ian Fletcher.

- Ian Fletcher?
- Yes, he's Head of Values at the BBC.

OK.

- Yeah, hi, yeah.
- Hey, yeah, how can I help?

Yeah. Can I speak to David Attenborough?

- David Attenborough?
- Yeah.

- Right.
- Like he's doing like,

I don't know, recording stuff
like Fragile Planet Earth.

- OK.
- Yeah, 'cause I found out.

OK. You want to take a seat?

OK, yeah, no worries, yeah, cool.

Here we go, here they are.

- The A-team.
- Right.

- So, guys. Look who I found in reception.
- Yes, exactly, hi.

Meanwhile, back at New
Broadcasting House, Simon has finally met

and greeted Claudia Winkleman,
all the way up to the sixth floor.

Have fun,
and remember, everything's possible

- in the best of all possible worlds.
- Yes, exactly.

- Genius.
- OK, right. Good-o.

- This is gonna be so fun,
- Yeah, Simon...

Yes?

With the introductions overdone,

it's time for the serious business
to begin,

but Ian is becoming aware
that the Claudia Winkleman issue

may not be the only BBC story
unfolding this morning.

- What's happening?
- Yes, in terms of...?

- Matt Tavener not here.
- Gor, yes, no.

- Apparently he's gone to Netflix.
- It's one of those mornings, isn't it?

How come everybody else knows
about this apart from me?

Yes, no, very good.
Pop by when you've got a minute

and maybe we can have
a bit of a general catch-up.

- Yes.
- Rightio.

Yes, good.

'Cause in the end...
This is just a thought I had, OK?

But basically imagine Carpool Karaoke,

but serious, with no singing,
and on a bike.

- Right.
- Yes.

- We love serious.
- Yes, exactly.

Genius.

At last, after all the
build-up,

Operation Winkleman is finally underway.

In many ways, it's a shame Izzy Gould
couldn't be with us this morning.

- Yes.
- She's the one who developed this.

Yes, how lovely is that?

In the unavoidable absence
of Head of Output Matt Tavener

to make the pitch for On Your Bike
as the perfect BBC vehicle for Claudia,

and no shortage of others
willing to step into his cleats

and run with the idea,
it's important that someone takes control

to steer the meeting onto solid ground.

I've always looked on this as almost
a classical BBC idea.

- Yes.
- Sure.

Going right back to informing, educating.

No, sure, that's cool.

That's when we had our Ulrika moment.

- Yes.
- Sorry?

Claudia would totally kill in like
a chat-show kind of vibe.

- OK.
- She's basically Michael Palin in heels.

- Michael Palin.
- Yes.

- Stop it!
- Do you mean Michael Parkinson?

- Yes.
- No, sure, whatever. It's a no-brainer.

Just to save time, Claudia
has actually read the treatment.

- Have you, Claudia?
- Yes, I have.

- Genius.
- Can we tell you what she likes about it

- and we can start from there?
- Yes, I think that's a really...

- Yes, exactly.
- No, sure, I'm good with that.

Meanwhile, across town,
Will's secret operation is still active.

- Hi.
- Oh, hey, yeah.

Hi. I'm Tony Dixon, producer
of Fragile Planet Earth.

I know Fragile Planet Earth.
The bonobos are just like mental.

- Yes.
- Yeah, cool.

- Yes, you're wanting to speak to David?
- Yeah, cool, yeah, so David, yeah, cool.

Yeah, can I ask is this something
he actually knows about?

- Sir David? No.
- Right.

No, that's why I need to see him.
It's really important.

- Yeah. I don't wanna disappoint you.
- No, me neither.

- But we're really busy today.
- Yeah, me too.

Really up against it,
so I don't think I can ask him

to come out of a session for something
unscheduled like this.

- I'm really sorry.
- That's OK.

You could try his agent's email,
maybe go down that route.

No, that's OK, I'll wait.

Yeah, I should say I've no idea what time
the session will actually finish.

- OK, cool.
- But one thing I know for certain

is that he's not coming out
for a very long time.

- OK.
- And I can't give you any assurance that

he'll speak to you when he does.

OK, cool, thanks.

Right.

OK.

So, Claudia gets the show

and we all get the fit with Claudia
so I put those two in the positive column.

- Yes, exactly.
- Cool.

- Yep.
- Tick.

- I've done celebrity, I've done fluffing.
- Right, yes.

Oh, no, tell me about it.

Back at New Broadcasting House,
it appears things might be going

better than anyone expected
on a difficult morning for the BBC.

So you probably know

Claudia's being asked to look
at a lot of stuff at the moment.

- Of course, yes.
- Exactly.

Sure.

But appearances
can be deceptive.

One of the things about this for Claudia

is there's nothing else like it
out there at the moment.

- Well, yes.
- No way.

- Exactly.
- It's being sold to us

- as a stand-alone proposition.
- Sure.

- Yes, exactly, yes.
- So I think this is an opportunity

for you to be up front with us
about that.

Right.

I'm sorry, I think you're gonna have to
help us with that, Tasmin.

Claudia has heard
that the BBC is developing

a very similar idea to On Your Bike
for its daytime schedules

with Amanda Holden as presenter.

- Amanda Holden?
- Yes.

- OK, no, I'm sorry.
- Lovely Amanda.

- The fact is, no, I'm sorry.
- Feel free to correct me, anyone,

but I'm pretty sure I can say with some
confidence that that's not true.

- Yes, exactly.
- OK.

Yay.

Just out of interest, Claudia,
where did you hear that?

Uh, from Amanda.

- Right.
- The Amanda.

- Yes.
- OK.

It's starting to look as
if either

Claudia's apparent intelligence is fake,

or someone within the BBC has been quietly
developing an almost identical show

to On Your Bike without telling anyone.

Amanda Holden's Cycling Shorts
or something.

- Amanda Holden's Cycling Shorts?
- OK, no, I'm sorry.

- Right, yes.
- No way.

- I love Amanda, we get on well, but...
- Do you know what, can I just say,

- that's really interesting, Tasmin.
- Right, OK.

Bummer.

Hey.

- Hi, yeah.
- How can I help?

Yeah, 'cause, I was wondering if you know

how much longer Sir David Attenborough
will be?

- Right.
- It's cool, I don't mind waiting.

- You might have missed him, I'm afraid.
- Missed him?

- Yeah, 'cause the session's actually over.
- No, but I've been here all the time.

- I know.
- I haven't been to the toilet.

- Yeah, there's like a back entrance.
- Right.

I'm guessing they went out that way.

- OK.
- I'm sorry.

OK, cool.

Back at New Broadcasting House,
it's the end of a day

which has left Head of Values Ian Fletcher
with some things he'd like

to talk to Head of Strategic Governance
Simon Harwood about,

- such as what the hell is going on.
- Ah, yes, brilliant.

- Is this a good time?
- Yes, no, brilliant, come in.

Luckily, Simon himself
is still in his office,

busy putting a positive gloss on things.

I don't what it is, but five minutes with
your saddle at the end of the day...

- Yes.
- ...just clears the pipes somehow.

- Yes.
- Jolly good. Shall we sit soft?

- No, thanks.
- Oh, okay.

I'm happy standing hard.

Jolly good. Wanna take that?

- No.
- No? OK, fine.

Well, no, listen, I mean,
I've no idea

how this "More of Less" stuff works
and how you feel about it...

It seems that the BBC is
shortly to announce

a major senior management simplification,

which follows the pattern of encouraging
more staff to apply for fewer jobs

by abolishing
the ones they've already got.

In this case, the existing post
of Head of Output, Director of Better,

and Head of Values are to be abolished
and replaced by a single new post

of Director of Purpose going forward.

- ...Director of Purpose going forward.
- Director of Purpose?

- Essentially, it's a pretty simple idea.
- Is it?

- I guess it would be with simplification.
- Right, OK.

Do you know, I'm gonna put these down.
I feel a bit of a fool like this.

How long have you known about this,
Simon?

No, I know, brilliant.

Frankly, it's a full-time job keeping up
with things these days, isn't it?

- Does Anna know?
- Ah, yes, now, with Anna--

- Obviously Matt knew.
- Listen, I have no idea how Anna works.

No. And what happens
if I don't apply for it?

- Ah, no, I can't hear that, Ian.
- What?

I can't hear it, say you will.