All language subtitles for movieddl.me_W1A.S02E05.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-WELP_track3_[eng]

Stand by, two.
Mix through and cue on two.

The BBC
has announced the appointment

of ex-head of Olympic
Deliverance Ian Fletcher

as its new Head of Values.

Time now for
the shipping forecast.

Superimposed.

A new morning at
New Broadcasting House...

But for the BBC's
Head of Values, Ian Fletcher,

this isn't just any old
new morning.

Today is a whole
different bike.

Morning, Will.

Oh, hey. Yeah, cool.
How are you?

Yeah, I'm good, yeah.

In nice and early again.

Yeah, no worries, yeah.
Izzy's not in yet.

Right.
I don't know where she is.

No. Did you manage...

Whoa. New bike. Did...

Uh, what? Yes, yes. Cool.

Yeah, no, I thought it was...
That's like the titanium one.

Uh, yes, it is actually, yes. Whoa.

No, I just thought
it was time to...

Can I hold it?

Uh, well, yes, if you want to.

Whoa, that's just,
like, mental.

Yeah, it's good, isn't it?

Yes, so anyway... Yeah.

Uh, did you manage to
book Frankie Howerd for
this afternoon in the end?

Yeah, no... Say again?

Cos I have to say,
I just gave up eventually.

Yeah, no, crap. Yeah,
I booked it on SyncopatiSpace.

What?

The BBC has
recently introduced

a fully-integrated,
cloud-based

room booking system
in its public commitment

to make the technology
in Broadcasting House

more intelligent than
the people who work there.

Yeah, so, in the end,
what I did was I had to, like,

re-set all my
Omnisync permissions.

Well, I mean,
I don't understand that,

but if it works, that's great,
Will. Well done.

Yeah, no worries. Yeah, cool.

OK. Well... Cool.

Can I have my bike back now?

Yeah, cool, yeah.
I mean, if you've
finished with it.

Yeah, no worries, yeah, cool. Great.

Actually, Will...
Yeah, hi.

Uh, this may not...
It might not be of
any interest to you but...

The other bike, my old one... Yeah.

I mean it's just sitting there
in the spare room...

Doing nothing now. Cool.

I mean, if you
wanted to borrow it.

You know,
use it for a while...

You know, just see
how you get on with it.

I could bring it in one
morning and leave it here?

OK, cool.

Meanwhile,
it's already the afternoon

and Ian is on his way
to chair a meeting

of the Way Ahead Task Force.

Hi.
Yes, hi, yes.

You all set for this?
Yes, no. I don't know.

I hope so.
You'll be fine.

Today he's asked
newly-created
Head of Inclusivity,

Lucy Freeman, along
to give them a heads-up

on the important issue
of BBC inclusivity targets.

I didn't actually sleep
brilliantly last night.

Oh, just remember,
nobody knows anything.
Yes. Right.

I mean, that's true
just generally...

But it's particularly
true in this case. Right.

In the meantime,
the Way Ahead Task Force

itself is gathering
outside Frankie Howerd.

...and really by the morning
the last of that cloud
blowing itself off

into the North Sea,
where nobody can see it,

and, certainly by lunchtime,
most of us should
find ourselves

outside enjoying
a really rather pleasant day
for the time of year.

Az.
Great.

Thanks very much, Sadiq.

I knew we'd be able to count
on you for some
good news at least.

Well, I do my best, Az.

Although really it's not me,
it's the weather.

And you can find more of that
on the website, of course.

Thanks, Sadiq.
That's great.

Well, that's just
about it for us.

We'll be back
again after the...

I'm not being funny
or anything, but did
he actually just say

the cloud was going
to be blowing itself off?

Don't know. Wasn't listening.
Wouldn't surprise me.

Crazy beard.
Yes, no, very good.

I mean, we love beards.
Cool guy.

Hi.
Hurrah!

What's happening?
We can't get in, sir.

We don't know what to do.

Oh, of course, sorry.

And I've asked Lucy
to join us for this. Yes.

Hurrah!
Hi.

No, brilliant,
brilliant, Lucy.

Yes.

OK, so what's...

One of
the most intelligent
qualities of the new

SyncopatiSpace booking system

is that, as a fail-safe to
prevent anything going wrong,

the door to any meeting room
opens automatically

as soon as the person who's
booked it comes within range

with their pass, whereas,
if they haven't, it doesn't.

Right, OK. Where's Will?

Why does everything
got to be so bloody
intelligent all the time?

Intelligent?
Not Will, obviously.

Gah, no. Bad luck.

Meanwhile,
elsewhere in the building,

Izzy Gould is at
a different level altogether.

Oh. Hi, David.
Oh, hi there, lovely Izzy.

So this is where you are now?

Yes.
Look at you on
the seventh floor.

Yes, no, it's just useful
to be a bit nearer
Matt Taverner, just so...

Oh, no, Always.
Tell me about it.

Having recently
applied for a new post
in Development,

she's now in an environment
where you can never predict

where the next challenge
will come from

or in exactly what
shape it will arrive.

Oh, you look great.
I don't know where
you got that skirt.

What, this?
No, this is just...

Yes, cos I'm actually having a
meeting with Matt on Thursday.

Oh, right. Are you?
Yes...

Newly-promoted
David Wilkes

has got a meeting with
newly-promoted Matt Taverner

to bring him
up to speed with progress

on the nearly-developed
project One Big Family.

He's asked for
a series treatment.

Yeah, I think he just
wants to know how it's
going to work, basically.

Right.
You know, like, who'll be
in it and stuff. That's all.

OK. But so...
It's good up here, isn't it?

Yes, it is.
But I mean, this...

It's three paragraphs.

I know. And can I just say?

Do not be confined
by what's there.

Well, no, that's... Confined?

Just think of it as
a blank page.

I mean, it practically is
a blank page.

I know. I mean,
it's exciting, isn't it?

Well... Yes.
Do you know what?

I'm excited and
I'm not even doing it.

No.

This is a really complex
area to talk about
in just a few minutes,

obviously, so I was
thinking perhaps

BAME and LGBT
would be two areas

it might be good
to focus on here.

Right, yes.
Hurrah!

Eventually,
there's a lucky break
for the Way Ahead Team.

It turns out that
the shared innovation space
on the fourth floor

is free this afternoon
as it just so happens

there isn't any sharing or
innovation taking place today.

Lucy, just to check
everybody's OK
with BAME and LGBT?

Yes, exactly.
No, sure.

Brilliant.
Uh-huh.

Yup.
Yes.

More or less.
I think so, Ian, yes.

No, I'm totally
good with that.

The world of
inclusivity is a world
full of acronyms

and both BAME,
which stands for Black,
Asian and Minority Ethnic,

and LGBT, which stands
for something else altogether,

are almost perfect examples
of how they can work.

Can I just check, Lucy?
Not being funny or anything

but with LGBT,
is it transvestite or...

No, transgender.
Right, yes.

Transgender, yes.
I knew it was one of them.

Yes. I can tell the difference
in real life, obviously.

Right.
I don't mind saying I'm
normally pretty good at that.

OK. Good.
The fact is this is an area
where we need to be better.

Well, of course, Anna, yes.

Although, I have to say,

inclusivity is an area
where we have actually

made some real progress.

Cool.
Have we?

Yes.
You so have.

You've got the dude
with the crazy beard

doing the weather for a start.

Well, hang on,
it's not a crazy beard.

It's like, "Hey, guys,
suck on that!"

Brilliant.
I mean, Lucy,
would it be worth

thinking about trying to
put some numbers

on our aspirations
in those areas?

I mean, if you look
at the research on this.

I mean, I've got some
figures here. I don't know...

With just
over a year now

until the BBC's
Royal Charter is due

either for renewal
or some other thing,

Lucy's first big task

in her new post has been
to look at ways of setting

new BBC inclusivity targets

that are more challenging
than the old ones.

Cos there
is an argument.

If you look at
the proportion of BAME

and LGBT people out there

in the wider population,

and then use those as
the basis for your targets...

Yes, right. Brilliant.

So what you're committing
to is the idea

of a fair reflection
of society as it actually is.

Hang on. Um, I'm sorry, Lucy.
I'm sorry, Ian.

I might be being
a bit stupid here,

but how's this going to work?

How will it work?

Well, yeah, because
if you add the proportion
of Asian or Asian British,

black or black British,
and mixed multiple together,

uh, then you get what 11.9,
say 12%, Lucy, right?

Uh, that's... Yes, that's
the current BAME figure, yes.

Cool.
So I've just done
a quick back

of the fag packet thing here

and, according to this,
in news, I'd have to sack

four black, Asian,
or mixed multiple presenters
straight away.

No, no.
And, I'm sorry,

but with the greatest respect
to everyone involved,

I'm not going to
bloody do that.

No, that's not actually
how it works.

No, no.
No. Coz in that case, Neil...

You'd be ahead of the target
already, which is great,

so you wouldn't actually have
to do anything.

Right. OK.

Hurrah!
No, no, the point here, Neil

surely is we're committed
to driving up

the, let's face it, woefully
small BAME and LGBT figures

out there in
the real population

wherever we possibly can.

What?
Uh, well...

Are we?
Yes, exactly, yes.

Cool.
I mean, I think
that's a different...

You mean,
out there in the real world?

Oh, no. Hang on...

We love BAME.
Yes, no, wait a minute.

The fact is this is
about being better.

Hang on, this has
got to be right...

Coz now we're driving things
up all over the place.

I thought we were
reflecting things.

Brilliant.
Hang on...
Just give a minute.

Yes, cos I'm not
being funny or anything, guys,

but in the last five years,
in the press office,

I don't think we've had
any lesbians at all.

Right. Well, that's...
Bummer.

Meanwhile,
Will is up on
the seventh floor.

In his relatively new role as
personal assistant,

he's still getting used to
where everything is

in New Broadcasting House.

Hi.
Oh, hi.

How are you?
Yeah, I'm OK, yeah. Busy.

Yeah, it's tough
at the top, isn't it?
Yes, it is.

Yeah. Is anyone here?
Nope.

Right.
There was some guy,
but he left.

Yeah, well,
that's his mistake.

Can I?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, if you...

I've just been in
the inspiration zone.
And it didn't work.

Haven't had any.
I am working, though.

Sure. You know, that's cool.
As long as you...

I'm just going to sit here
and look at you.
Right. What?

I wish.

I've got so much stuff to do.

Yeah. Me too. Yeah.

Overall, then, if you're
wanting to get out and about

over the weekend,
it looks like Saturday's
the day for that.

Sunday perhaps more
of a case of curling
your toes up on the sofa

with a good book and perhaps
your favourite mug of coffee.

Az.
Thanks very much, Sadiq.

I think I'll be taking
your advice and
joining you on the sofa

with that book on Sunday.

Yes, no, well, excellent.

More on all that on
the website, of course.

Lovely. Sadiq, thanks.

Well, that's just about it...

Yes, OK. Thank you, Siobhan.
I think we've...

Yes, I see, terribly good,
isn't he?

I'm just saying here.
Let's not...

I mean, he's so babe,

it's practically coming
out of his ears.

By early evening,
it's two hours later,

but in the shared
innovation space,

the Way Ahead Task Force
is still searching

for the way ahead in
its mission to set

some new and better
BBC inclusivity targets.

I mean, just thinking
laterally for a moment...

Yes, very good.

Oh, right. OK.
Is it worth coming at this
thing the other way round?

Ian is particularly
keen to resolve

the matter by the end
of the meeting,

because, as BBC
Head of Values,

he's been invited
to speak at a meeting

of the Cross Parliamentary
Cultural Inclusion Action
Watch Dog Group

at the Palace of Westminster
in 10 days' time.

I mean, is there a way of
committing to the idea

of reducing the number of
non-BAME and LGBT people

by a percentage figure?

Ah, brilliant.
So, that gradually over time,
you'd increase the proportion.

Hang on. Now we're sacking
white guys as well?

Well...
At this rate, there's gonna
be nobody bloody left.

Bummer.
I know this is difficult...

But can I just remind
everybody what a serious
undertaking this is?

OK, OK, OK.

So, guys,
here's the thing with this,

we've been going for, like,
three hours here, right?

We're nailing jelly to
the hothouse wall.

What?
So, what you do here...

Is you viralise the weather
dude with the beard...

Suddenly it's like none
of this other shit matters.

Right, no.
Viralise him?

Brilliant.
I think we've had enough
about him already, Siobhan.

You so have not had enough
about him already.

It's a no-brainer.

He's your only hope here.

I'm sorry, Siobhan. It's a BBC
London weather forecaster

you're talking about here.
He's not Martin Luther King.

I mean, I think that's
probably a bit melodramatic.

It totally is mega-dramatic.

That's what we're
looking for here, right?

Well, no...
Cos otherwise,
I'm telling you...

With shit like inclusivity
you open your mouth

at this Crossed Parliamentary
Action Dog whatever,

you pretty much bought
a one-way ticket to
Yawnsville right there.

Brilliant.
I mean, am I right
or am I right?

Well, that's...
I'm right, OK?

No, very good.
Yes, no, very strong.

Another week and
personal assistant
Will Humphries

is arriving for work
early as usual.

Another busy day of
assisting ahead of him.

Ah, yes. Will Humphries.

Oh, yeah. Hey, yeah,
no worries, yeah, cool.

Yes, very good.
Obviously going places.

Yeah, no, I've just arrived.

So you've finally
joined the club.

Uh, yeah, no, this is, like,
Ian Fetcher's bike?

Oh, right.
Yeah, I didn't take it.

He said I could.
No, brilliant,
Will, brilliant.

Yeah, cos he's got like
this titanium one now?

Right.
Yeah, I know, mental.

Brilliant.
It's pretty cool.

Yes, no, jolly good.

People think
you just stand there and
wave your arms about.

Right. Really?
I've heard people say
it must be fun.

Meanwhile, BBC
London weather
forecaster Sadiq Iqbal

has come to see Lucy in her
role as Head of Inclusivity.

So, I mean, yes,
you've got satellites,

computer modelling,
whatever, all of that,

you've got the whole
of the Met Office
resources behind you.

Yes.
But in the end...

It's about you and
the weather.

You have to confront
that every day.

That's never going to change. No.

As a serious forecaster

committed to the idea
of serious weather,

he's not happy about
having been viralised

or about his rapidly-growing
cult status,

even though the BBC now
has plans to promote him

to the national weather
forecast as a result.

I was on the Tube yesterday.
I saw this girl,

my face on her T-shirt.

"Today will be brighter
than yesterday."

Right.
When she turned around,
on the back...

"Hashtag beardy weather."

Yes, no, that's not...
That's really...

I mean, one thing to say.

It is in fact a separate
PR company that's responsible

for Brand BBC, but...

Then this morning, on YouTube.

Thanks very much, Sadiq.

I think I'll be taking
your advice and

joining you on the sofa
with that book on Sunday.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes!
Joining you on the sofa

Joining you on the sofa...
Yes!

Joining you on the sofa
Lovely Sadiq, l love...

Curling your toes up.

We-we-we-we!

Curling your toes up
on the sofa...

Joining you on the sofa
with that book...
Yes, yes, yes...

210,000 hits so far.

Yes. Really, that's... Yes.

This is not just about me.

Well, no, it's about a whole,
I mean, it's about
anyone who with...

Anyone who's ever...

There are two
of us in that studio.

Right.
What we do isn't easy.

No, of course.
We're both professionals...

But Azia is a serious woman.

Well, yes, absolutely.

What people don't know about
her, underneath all the hair,

she studied Asian and Middle
Eastern studies at Cambridge.

Right.
Combining it with a modern
European language.

In this case French.
Really?

Yes. We might make
it look easy,

I certainly try to anyway...

Yes, no, you do. I mean,
not easy, but...

But it's not. No.

Actually, it's a very
delicate thing.

Yes. Right. Yes.

Meanwhile,
Ian has been working late

drafting his speech for
the Cross Parliamentary

Cultural Inclusion
Action Watchdog,

or so called
C-P-C-I-A-W-D-G Group,

at Westminster next week.

Ah. Hi, Anna.
Yes, exactly, yes.

Are you...
I'm just on my way out.

Yes.
Right.

Yes, exactly, yes.

I've been thinking
about your thing.

Ye... My what?
The C-P-C-I...

Oh, right. Yes, well, me too.

The fact is this is exactly
the sort of occasion

where we should be
talking about better.

Talking about better?
Exactly, yes.

Right.
The fact of the matter
is the whole idea...

Of setting ourselves targets
for inclusivity... Right.

The fact is this is
all about betterness.

Betterness.
Exactly.

Right, what so you want me
to say something about it...

I've asked Jack to
e-mail you something.

Right.
A paragraph.

I thought you might
want to look at it first.

Yes, well, that's very...
I mean...

Thank you, Anna. I will. Yes.

Also, I think I should
come with you.

Come with me?
To the thing, yes.

Right.
If you're going to be
talking about better...

Then the fact is
I should be there.

What? So they can see
what better looks like?

That's not...
Here are the lifts.

Just so you know,
I've asked Lucy Freeman
to come along too.

You've asked Lucy Freeman?

Yes, cos inclusivity's
such a part of this whole... Yes.

I just thought it'd be good
for her to actually... Yes.

You know, just to... Yes.
Yes. Yes.

Ground floor.

Morning, Will.
Oh, yeah. Hey, yeah, cool.

A different morning
at New Broadcasting House

as both the Head of Values

and the personal assistant
to the Head of Values

find themselves arriving
almost literally in tandem.

Morning.

Ah, morning, Simon.
Oh, yeah. Hey, yeah, hi.

Ah, yes, we three.

But it turns out
they're not the only ones
who are going places.

So is that like
the carbon fibre one?
What?

Oh, yes,
the carbon fibre, yes.

Whoa.
Right.

I mean, they
do it deliberately.

Every time you go in there,
suddenly your old bike's
out of date.

Carbon fibre?
Yeah, they make, like,
stealth bombers out of it.

Oh, it's just
a gimmick, really.

Stealth bombers?

Yeah, like, they're so light,
you can't actually see them?

Bloody annoying, I tell you.
I only went in there
to buy a pump.

Upstairs,
newly-promoted Izzy Gould

is already in early,

preparing herself
for further development.

Will, hi.
Oh, yeah. Hey, yeah.

How long have you been there?
What? I don't know.

You OK?
Yeah, I'm good, yeah.

I'm just going back
to my desk. Cool.

Quite a lot on today, so...
Yeah, no worries, yeah.

I just came up here.

Right. OK, well...
Yeah, cos I've had,
like, an idea.

You've had an idea?
Yeah, I know, yeah,
mental, yeah.

What do you mean an idea?
What kind of idea?

Yeah, cos you know you're,
like, developing?

Ah, right, OK.

Yes, so what I...
Will, I'm really sorry,
I'm so busy at the moment.

Cool, yeah.
No worries, yeah, cool.
Maybe when I've got time...

Yeah, no, cool. No, crap!
Or put it in an e-mail. Yes.

Cos then I can get
back to you.
Yeah. Cool.

OK, great. Thanks, Will.
Better get back.

Yeah, OK, yeah.
No worries, yeah, cool.

Actually, sorry.
Yeah?

That wasn't very...
No, that's cool, yeah.
I don't mind.

It's OK. Um, I can drink
my coffee. Tell me your idea.

OK, cool, yeah.

Yeah cos, like, my sister,
like, knows Boris Johnson?

Right. Does she really?
Yeah, I know.

OK.
Yeah, so it's like,
"On Your Bike."

On Your Bike?
Yeah, like, you ride around
London with Boris Johnson.

Like, he talks and rides
at the same time. Right.

Yeah, cos someone's
riding next to him.
I don't know who that is.

OK.
Yeah, then, next week,
it's not Boris Johnson,

it's someone else who's got
a bike, riding somewhere else,

like round where they live,
and talking about that.

Yeah, cos it's like you'd
have, like, different bikes.

I mean, that's great,
isn't it?
Yes, uh...

Nice plug for Sadiq's
promotion to the national
forecast, so that's...

But if you look at what
she actually said, it's not...
It's much more...

Meanwhile,
on the night of Ian's
big inclusivity presentation,

the Evening Standard
has asked BBC London
News presenter Azia Zamani

about her views on the new
beardy weather phenomenon.

"I'm not sure I'm really
a beard woman,

"but I think it's fantastic
what's happening to Sadiq

"and of course I wish him
well with whatever he does
in the future."

I mean, that's OK, isn't it?
That's all good.

Yes, it's just the headline
that's just a bit...

Azia, "I'm not
a beard woman."

Right. I mean, it's...

Surely, that's just a bit of,
you know...

Yes.
...bit of harmless fun.

Yes, no, it's not
a religion thing.

It's about Sadiq.

I mean, Sadiq and Azia.
Sadiq and Azia?

Yes.
What do you mean,
"Sadiq and Azia"?

Anna.
Yes, exactly.

Hi, Anna.
Exactly, yes.

Can I...
Yes. The fact is
I need to know...

What time you ought to
be there this evening.

Uh, well, yes,
it's 6:30 for 7, isn't it?

I wouldn't mind getting there
a bit earlier myself,

just to make
sure everything's...

Yes, exactly.
I've booked a car.

Right. OK. Well, that's...

I've said 6.
Jack move it earlier.

I mean, Lucy, how were
you thinking of...
No, no. That's fine.

Yes.
Well but...

No, I've got an Oyster
card. I'll go on the Tube. Yes.

Oh, I mean that seems...
No, really.

It's probably better for you
and Anna to go together,

so you can, you know,
if you want...

Yes. Yes, exactly, yes.
Well, if...

Yes. Yes. Right.

So you'd have, like,
a regular presenter...

Cool. Yeah, I don't know.
Someone who's
mad on cycling.

Cos what this is, it'd be like
a chat show on a bike.

Whoa, cool. Such a cool idea.

Well, it's yours.
Yeah, I know. What?

It's your idea.
Whoa, that's...

That's just, like, mental.
Yes, I know.

Meanwhile,
Izzy is taking Will

through the full enormity of
the idea he's apparently had.

One week, you'd have someone
like Bradley Wiggins, say.

Cool!
Who's obviously like
an amazing cyclist,

but then the next week,
someone completely different,
like not...

Yeah, like not
Bradley Wiggins.

They just really like cycling.
Like I don't know.
I thought maybe Tracey Emin...

Cool, yeah. I don't
know who that is.

You know,
cycling around Margate.

Yeah, cool, yeah. Why not?

Or have someone like Gilbert
and George on a tandem.

Cool, yeah, I don't know
who that is either.

Well, they're...
Actually, it doesn't matter.

Cool, yeah. Doesn't really
matter. Yeah, cool.

Will, I can't tell you...
You're an absolute genius.

I love you.

Yeah.

Yeah, hey, yeah. Yeah, hi.

Oh, right, OK.

What? Yeah, I don't know. Right.

This thing will be over
by 9:30. Yes. Yes.

Or 10 o'clock at the latest
anyway, I should think.

Yes, exactly, yes. Good.

Why, do you need
to be somewhere?

No, I don't. Why?
Right. What?

Do you?
Do I what?

Do you need to be somewhere?

Me?
Yes.

Well, no. I mean... No.

I mean, not really, no.
Yes, exactly, yes. Good.

But what I would say
is not only that we're
committed to the idea

of committing to firm and
binding BAME and LGBT targets

wherever we can possibly
find them going forward,

but also,
we're going to commit,

and we're absolutely
committed to this,

we're going to commit
to exceeding those targets

by a minimum of 10%
across the board

as soon as we know
what they are.

By 7:15, Ian has hit
his stride in his presentation

to the Cross Parliamentary
Cultural Inclusion Action
Watch Dog Group

at Westminster.

But I think it also helps
to look at more
personal stories

that can sometimes

tell us more about where
we are at the BBC...

But at the same
time, Lucy has got a call

from Tracey Pritchard
back at New Broadcasting House

and, as is often the case with
calls from Tracey Pritchard,

it's not good news.

And to do that,

I'm afraid I'm going to have
to talk to you
about the weather.

Yes? Yes. Yes, no, I know.
I'm doing it now.

I was just on my way out.
I got a call from Neil

to say he hasn't turned up,
so I went on Twitter and
looked at his account...

Breakthrough BBC
weather forecaster

Sadiq Iqbal has gone missing

and posted a worrying message
on Twitter about his beard.

Right. Bloody hell.

It's a journey
that has taken him

all the way to the BBC One
national forecast

for the first time tonight...

Uh, 10:35, incidentally,

in case anyone's
interested in watching.

So, of course,
I know there'll be
periods of unsettled weather,

we expect that and,
in the BBC,
we come dressed for that.

But overall,
I'd like to suggest that,

with a lot of hard work and
commitment from us,

and with continued
support from you,

the outlook for the BBC could
and should be mostly bright,

maybe even with
the occasional sunny,

not to say Sunni spell.

Thank you.

Well, I thought that
went OK, didn't it?

Yes, uh...
Yes, good.

Better than expected.
Yes, exactly. So we're done.

What?

Yes, what?

Oh, my God.
That's terrible, Tracey.

Yes.
And you're saying
he's just shaved it off?

We've Tomasz Schafernaker
coming on his motorbike
just in case.

Oh, yes, right. Lovely Tomasz.

If you're BBC
Senior Communications Officer,

the possibility that the BBC's
most culturally-inclusive

weather forecaster may have
shaved his beard off

on the night of his promotion
to the national forecast

is potentially
a nightmare scenario,

and not in a good way.

I don't mean to be negative,
or anything
but I have actually

got a very bad feeling
about this.

Oh, I know, it's a nightmare.

Anyway, look, Tracey,
I'm actually on my way
off to a Rufus Wain...

That's him.
What?

I'm sure. Isn't it?
I don't know. It might be.

I mean, it's hard to tell.
OK, well,
don't stand there.

What? No, no, no, no.

That guy is not going anywhere
near that weather map

until we know exactly
what we're dealing with here.

Oh, my God!

Siobhan, hi.
OK, so I'm on it.

I'm totally on it, OK?

What do you mean you're on it?
Where are you?

OK, if that guy goes
on air tonight without
some kind of beard,

you are looking at a weapons
grade shit storm here, OK?

Yeah, I know we are but...

Wait a minute. What do you
mean some kind of beard?

If he doesn't appear now,
after everything we've done

with hashtag beardy weather,

you are totally going
to crash the Internet.

OK Siobhan, wherever
you are, whatever
you're doing, this is...

I order you to stop.

OK, what you've got to know
here is I'm super good
at this kind of shit.

Exactly, yes. That's why
I'm ordering you not to do it.

We're in extremely delicate
territory here. Sure.

This isn't just any old beard
we're talking about.

Na-uh, hashtag
beardy weather, duh.

There's somewhere around
1.6 billion people worldwide

we're in real danger of
offending if we
get this wrong.

The BBC may have many faults,
but one thing
we are absolutely...

And I cannot emphasise this...
Hello?

Right, OK, fuck.
Can we step on it, please?

I'm already
stepping on it.

I don't care. Well,
step on something else.

Back at
New Broadcasting House,

David Wilkes has managed
to track troubled
weather forecaster

Sadiq Iqbal down
to the BBC Weather Office.

His mission for the moment
is to keep him there

until they can
establish for certain

exactly how beardy tonight's
weather is going to be.

Basically what it is, Sadiq,
is it's prime time

Saturday night family viewing,

with a bit of The One Show
thrown in just in case, obviously,

and what we were thinking...

No. I'm sorry, Siobhan,
we have got this thing
perfectly under control.

Meanwhile,
back up in reception,

Siobhan Sharpe has
arrived with a plan

and, with The Ten O'Clock News
now just half an hour away,

things are rapidly coming
to some sort of head.

No!
Jesus Christ,
it's fucking orange!

So we can dye it, OK?
It's television.

Hi.
Hello, Ian.

How's it going?
Fine.

Yeah. Welcome
to Apocalypse Now. Right.

By managing to get
Sadiq into a holding position,

they've bought themselves
some time.

But the worry now is that
they may have already used it.

First of all, everybody just
needs to keep calm, OK?

Yes, good.
I am actually calm.

Calm? You're bloody joking.

Yes. Can she shut up?

Well, first of all,
what is the situation
with the actual beard?

OK. So with the beard,
in my opinion,

we are in a very bad place
with this.

Yes, but has he actually
got one or not?

So, at the moment,
we are still awaiting
confirmation on that.

What do you mean we're
awaiting confirmation?

It's either there or
it's not there.

Exactly, Ian, yes.

We have issues around the hat
and scarf obviously,

but underneath that,
those are the two options
we are looking at here.

And, not only that, but with
the weather apparently,

there is actually a complex
low coming in off
the Atlantic tonight,

which is the last
thing we need.

Well, let's not get...

I'm not being funny or
anything, but this is
actually a perfect storm.

Can I just... Have you
got a second?
What, now?

But, under pressure
at the 11th hour,
Lucy has had a thought.

Hey, guys!
Hey Barn!

Great, even better.
So I did the best I could.

Cool.
This one I thought
was pretty close.

OK.
No!

Jesus Christ.
Uh, this one I'm not
so sure about.

OK, no, sure.

No, I don't want this.
Yeah, it's kind of
more left-field.

Just remind me.
Why am I doing this again?

I can't quite remember now,
and we haven't got
a lot of time,

but I know this is
a very good thing.

Yes. I'm really sorry.

Despite her new role
as Head of Inclusivity,

Lucy's idea has nothing to do
with either targets

or BBC charter renewal.

Can I just say by
the way, I love that hat.

Not everyone can
carry that off.

No, I was wondering...
Come in.

Hello, Sadiq.

Her thought
is that it might somehow
be a good thing

if Sadiq were able to have
a quiet moment alone
with Azia Zamani

at this point in
the proceedings.

For some of those involved in
it, for better or for worse,

this is turning into a night
that they're not
going to forget.

I mean, he's been
just across the studio
from her every day.

Right. Yes.
But in reality,
the truth is...

You know.
It's a long way.

Yes.
Oh, I know, a nightmare.

I'm sorry.
No, no...

I feel like a bloody stupid
16-year-old.

No.

Bought all this stuff,
walking round for hours.

No, I'm sorry, Sadiq. Really.

I don't know what
I was thinking of.

Of course I was never
going to do it.

It's so great everything
that's happening to you.

I used to dream
about the big map.

Everything's turning out fine.

You say that...
I mean it.

Have you seen the forecast?

There's a complex low
coming in off the Atlantic. Huh.

It's going to be pretty
wild for a time

through south-western England,
Wales and parts of
north west Scotland

as we go through tonight
into tomorrow.

Really?

First time I've
ever said that.

I love this. I so love my job.

Yeah, me too, yeah.
Bloody great.

In the end,
against all the odds,

after the
BBC Ten O'Clock News,

it's time for the BBC Weather

with both Sadiq Iqbal
and his beard.

I don't know about you,
but I think I could do
with a drink.

Right.
I mean, if you've got time.

And you're going
to find yourself very wet...

I'm just talking about half
an hour, really, that's all.
Right, yes.

Cos I've got to
get back for...

Hi.
Yes.

Anna.
Yes, exactly, hi.

You still here?
Yes, so the car's round
in Hallam Street.

The car?
The kitchen closes at 10:30.

But the fact is I've told
them to stay open.

Right.
Yes.

Right.