All language subtitles for movieddl.me_W1A.S02E04.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-WELP_track3_[eng]

Standby, two.
Mix through. Cue on two.

The BBC has
announced the appointment

of ex-head of Olympic
Deliverance, Ian Fletcher,

as its new Head of Values.

Time now for
the Shipping Forecast.

Superimpose.

A new week
at the BBC's central nervous
centre in central London,

but already
it hasn't started well

for Head of Values,
Ian Fletcher.

With just a mile left to cover
on his journey to work,

he's had a puncture
in the Marylebone Road.

But the advantage
of a bike that you can
simply fold up and carry

is that you can simply
fold it up and carry it
for the rest of the way.

Will.
Oh, yeah, hi, yeah, hi.
How are you?

I'm in a bit of a hurry,
actually, I'm a bit late. Okay.

I was wondering, if you
have any time today...
Yeah, sure.

...you know,
between other things. Yeah.

I had a puncture
on my way in this morning.
Okay, cool.

And I was wondering...
Yeah, no worries.

Yeah, 'cause I could take
it to this really cool
bike shop I used to work in.

Right.
I know exactly where it is.

Yes, so if... You used to
work at a bike shop?

Yeah, for, like, three days.
Right. Well...

Yeah, 'cause like, then like,
if I get it mended,

does that mean I could,
like, ride it back?

Yes, I mean... Cool.

Obviously,
that'll be up to you.
Yeah, up to me, cool.

That'd be really great,
Will, thanks.

You can take my helmet
if you want to.

Okay, cool, yeah, no worries.

Yeah, 'cause, it's like,
you don't want to get killed.

No.
Cool.

So the other exciting news to
get out there this morning... Yay.

Shut up.
And I've been talking
to Siobhan about this.

Oh, right?
You so have.

And the feeling is,
and for what it's worth,

I know Tony's
pretty spunky about this.

Spunky?
He's totally amped.

What?
Hi.

Oh, thank God!
Sorry.

No, Captain Values,
come on in.

A few transport issues
this morning.
Gah, no, bad luck.

With the creation of the new
Directorship of Betterness

at an extremely senior level,

the question now is how best
to announce that idea

to a so-far
unsuspecting public.

Okay, so here's the thing
with this. Here's what it is.

BBC Better
is such a cool idea.

It's like a game changer,
okay? That's a no-brainer.
Brilliant.

But you want buy-in to
the idea of, like, major shit.

I mean, you've got to pre-sell
the movie rights first.

What?

But luckily
for the BBC,

pre-selling the movie rights
to major shit

is one of PR company
Perfect Curve's
key areas of strength.

The fact is, this would be
some kind of event, would it?

Some kind of event?
Yes.

Yes, 'cause what we have done
in the past,

which I've got to say
works quite well,

we have used the Radio Theatre
for things like this.

Excuse me?
It's convenient, obviously.

The Radio Theatre?
Yes.

We're talking, like,
majorly iconic venues here.

It's becoming
clear that Siobhan has

ambitious plans for launching
the idea of BBC Better.

I mean, just to
introduce a note of caution
for a moment, Siobhan.

Yes, exactly, Ian.
It is a BBC-sponsored event
we're talking about here.

Sure.
We're a publicly
funded organisation.

After all, it's not
the Brit Awards.
No, it is not.

Okay. So what's
your point here?

Well, we may need
to be a bit careful
about tone, that's all.

Yes, exactly.

We don't want to get
ahead of ourselves.
Excuse me.

Well, I just...
So, where else do
you want to be?

I mean, do you want
to be behind yourself?

I mean, you could
not have just said that.

Can I just say,
speaking personally
on this, guys,

I still think
the Radio Theatre
has a lot of...

Well, let's not get...

Okay, two words you don't want
to hear anywhere near
event management,

radio and theatre.

I'm guessing you haven't
actually been in there,
Siobhan, 'cause it's...

Okay.
You can actually adjust
the lighting in there.

Here are some words
you do want to hear
in event management

in, like, the 20th century...

Twenty-first century.
Okay, sure, whatever.

Just a detail.
Like, now, okay?

Well, exactly, yes, right.
Okay, so like, "groovy"
and, like, "function".

Brilliant.
Like, "champagne"
and like, "reception".

Yes, very good.
"Cool" and, like,
"brainy-dudes".

Like, "major"
and, like, "auditorium".

Like, "Laura" and "Mvula".

And "Twitter" and, like,
"total meltdown" okay?
Brilliant.

Now, that's an event. Okay?
Right.

No, yes, no.
Yes, too joyous.

Then Anna Rampton walks out
on that stage on her own

and she totally,
seriously kills. Brilliant.

Bollocks.
Go, Anna.

Yes, no, the fact is,
I... Yes.

Hi, Will.
Oh, yeah. Hey, Izzy.
Yeah, cool.

You all right? You look like
you're off somewhere.

Yeah, yeah.
With Ian Fletcher's bike.

Yeah, I know, yeah,
pretty cool. I'm taking it
to get it mended?

Okay.
Yeah, it's got,
like, a puncture.

Right, well, have fun.

Yeah, no worries, yeah,
this is his helmet.
Yes, right.

Yeah, so I'll
probably ride it back.

Okay, well, thanks for,
you know, bringing me
up to speed with all that.

Yeah, no, no worries,
yeah, cool.

Yes?
So, like, where's Jack?

Oh, no, Jack's gone. Yes.
He's gone?

No, he's moved on.
So what, like, left?

No, with Anna's new job,
he's got this new thing
with her now.

With Anna.

Off in Development, yes.
Yeah, Development, yeah.

Yes.

Okay, cool.

Elsewhere in the building, long-serving
Producer Lucy Freeman

has been thinking hard
about her future at the BBC

and has decided to
make herself a cup of coffee.

Oh, David.
Hi, Lucy. How are you today?

Yes, fine, yes.
I didn't see you there.

No, I know. I'm just
getting my slow release.

Yes, so I see.

Can I just ask you,
have you lost weight?
Me?

Yes.
No, I...

Have you not?
No, I don't think so. Why?

I don't know.
Do you know what?
Maybe it's just those jeans.

Honestly, you're
so lucky, Lucy.

What exactly do you want,
David, 'cause I'm
finding this a bit...

No, no, nothing, Lucy,
I don't want anything.

Anyway, I'm not supposed
to tell anyone anyway, so... Right.

You know.

Tell them what?
So, I had a meeting
with Anna last night,

and she asked to see me.

Apparently, when she first
mentioned One Big Family
in the interview...

Oh, my God, that's such
a genius title, Lucy.

Honestly, when she talked
about it, they were like,
"Oh, my God,

"we haven't even got enough
boxes for that to tick."

Good. Well, I'm really
pleased for her.
I know, lovely Anna.

Anyway, then she's like,

"Right, first of all,
that show is going
to be massive, okay.

"And you're going to
exec produce it."
Well, no, hang on...

Me, I mean.
Oh, right.

Honestly. It was
like I was being
enunciated or something.

Is that the right word?
No, it isn't.

No, it doesn't matter though,
does it? It sounds right. Yes.

And anyway, then she's like,

"This is absolutely top secret
and you're not
to tell anybody at all."

No.

"There's going to be
lots of changes.

"And there's going to be,
like, this new job,

"like, Senior Executive,
Primetime Factuality."
Right.

"And basically, I mean,
they're going to have
to interview for that,

"how they're gonna do
that I do not know,

"but basically they'd
like it to be you."

You mean you.
Me, yes. No, yes.
Yes, no. Me.

Well, that's great, David,
I mean, that's really great.
I know.

I mean, I'm not sure
what else to say.

Couldn't believe it.
No, it is truly astonishing.

I went straight over into
All Bar One afterwards

and the three flaming
volcanoes straight off. Really.

Didn't know
what else to do. No.

That's not centred.
No, I'm just doing it.

Yes.

You didn't like the idea
of Steve Coogan?
No.

I just thought that
might be, like...
No, I don't want him.

Meanwhile,
Anna is acclimatising
quickly to her even more

elevated role as the BBC's
first ever Director of Better.

And with Lord Reith?
Yes.

'Cause apparently he was
like the first ever...
Yes, no, I saw the pictures.

No, the fact is,
he's too frightening.
Right, sure, yes.

But with great power
comes great responsibility,

and her first task has been to
launch a thorough review of
the back wall of her office.

Okay, right. Well, that's...
Yes. Good.

Oh, yeah, great news
about the Better launch. Yes.

Like, I've never actually been
to Pinewood,

but it sounds like Siobhan's
really pulling out all the...

Yes. Exactly, yes.

Yeah, so I bumped into
Alice in the coffee queue.
Alice?

Alice, Tony Hall's...
Yes, the... Alice, yes, her.

Yeah, so with
the BBC Better launch... Yes.

She was talking about
the idea of releasing, like,

bits of your speech
to the press beforehand.

Before it.
Apparently that's,
like, standard.

Mmm.
Also she thought Tony
would probably want to have

a quick look at a draft before
you actually finalise it.

Yes, so I... Yes.

I said we'd send
something over.

Yes.

It was fine, first thing.
I mean, obviously,

anything to with
Syncopatico's always a bit... Yeah.

But at some point during
the morning, I seem to have

got all your events
in my Syncopatical.
Yeah, no, crap.

Meanwhile,
in his new official capacity

as assistant
to the Head of Values,

Will is already making
a big difference
to Ian's working life.

In the meantime, I don't know
where my events have gone. Yeah.

They've disappeared completely.
Yeah, no, they're all here.

What?
Yeah, no, it does that.

Keen to learn,
he's passed the first half

of the crucial
Syncopatishare module

of his ongoing BBC
Syncopatico induction course
with flying colours.

But until he's done
the second half,

he's unable to stop
his new Syncopatipad

shaking hands automatically
with other devices that
may stray into its sights.

I mean, I know it's
not your fault, Will. Yeah.

Although, actually,
now I think about it,

I'm not sure
I am sure about that.

Yeah, I know, crap.

But this is really...
Yeah, no, cool.

Yeah, no worries.
Like why don't
you just have mine?

What?
I'll have yours, just till,
like, something happens.

Right, but...
I've only just
thought of that.

Yes, I know, I can tell.

But even though
he's still new to

some of the responsibilities
of a personal assistant,

Will is not afraid
of having big ideas.

No, I don't think...
I mean, what if this
starts shaking hands

with other tablets
all over the place?
Yeah.

Oh, now, hang on,
what the hell's this?
What?

You've got some of
Simon Harwood's stuff as well. Yeah.

Look, no, I'm sorry.
Will, I can't...
I mean this is really...

'Cause, like, I had to go
into Simon Harwood's
office earlier.

I was looking for Izzy
and, like, it shook
hands with him too.

Yes.
And then it stopped
again when I went.

Mmm.
Yeah, I don't know,
yeah, mental.

No.

Like, it's actually
really annoying.

So does this...
I mean, could I?

If I wanted to, I mean,
would I be able
to print this out?

Yeah, no worries, yeah, cool.
So, what? I just...

Yeah, no, 'cause we did
Syncopatiprint last week.

You sure about this, Will?

Yeah, no, 'cause, like,
you can print to any printer

anywhere in the building,

like it doesn't matter
where you are.

'Cause I wouldn't necessarily
want anyone else to...
Yeah, no, cool. Yeah.

Okay, done. Cool. Great.

Yeah, no worries.

So where's it printing?
Yeah, no, 'cause...
Say again?

Which printer's
it printing at?

Yeah, no,
it doesn't tell you that.

It doesn't tell you?
Like, it could be literally

any printer anywhere
in the building.

Right.
Yeah, no, it's pretty cool.

Yes.

Sorry, Anna. Jack.

Lucy's here if you're ready.
Yes, no, she can come in.

Here she is.
Right, yes. Hi, Anna.

Yes, you can sit down.

Meanwhile,
Lucy Freeman has
made a big decision

and has come
to have a conversation

with new Director of Better,
Anna Rampton,

no matter how difficult
that's going to be.

So, you're probably wondering
why I wanted to see you.

Yes, I mean, well,
it was me that asked
to see you, actually.

Okay, well...
Oh, congratulations,
by the way.

Yes.
Very exciting.

Yes, exactly. Yes.

Yes, no, I thought I'd better
come and see you, really, now.

I mean, before things...

'Cause I know you were
keen for me help David with...

Anna has asked her
to work alongside David Wilkes

on One Big Family,

but Lucy has decided
that it might be a better idea

for her to leave
the BBC instead.

I've been doing some thinking,

quite a lot
of thinking, actually,

and what I've... It's a
big thing, but I've...
Okay, no.

No, sorry, Anna, I haven't...
No, that's not what I want
to talk to you about.

No, I wanted to talk to you.

Well, but the fact remains
it's not what I want
to talk about.

The fact is, I wanted to
ask you something.
Yes, but...

I don't know how much
you know about the idea
behind BBC Better.

Right, well...

I mean, I'm aware
of it, obviously.

I've heard about it,

but beyond that
I'm not really...

No. One of the things
I'm passionate about

is the idea of inclusivity
as a core value

right across the BBC.

Right. Are you?
Yes.

You may know that already.
No, I didn't.

As you say,
it's very exciting.
Well, I mean, that's...

I made it clear that
I'm committed to the idea

of creating a new
Head of Inclusivity.

Right, are you?

Yes, and I wanted to ask
you how you'd feel about
applying for that post.

Me?
Yes, exactly, yes.

Right.
Yes.

Take your time.

Uh...

Meanwhile,
Ian is one of many people
in New Broadcasting House

who have been brought
closer together by
the BBC's cutting edge

new Syncopatiprint technology.

Neil, hi.

Right.

When?

We're talking live here.
Yes, no, I know.

Yeah, live, yeah.

No, brilliant, Neil.
Let's do the show right here.

Media reaction
to the announcement
of Newsnight anchor

Evan Davis's forthcoming role
in Strictly Come Dancing

has been both extensive
and universally negative.

And with the BBC's
unparalleled reputation
for impartiality to maintain,

it's crucial that
coverage of the story

on its own news channels
is more negative
than anyone else's.

I mean, do we really
have to do this?
Yeah, we do, yeah.

I know.
Welcome to my world.

With that in mind,
Ian has been put forward to be
interviewed about the issue

live on tonight's
6:00 news bulletin.

No, look, I mean,
I'll do this if absolutely
no one else will.

Brilliant.
But really, I have to say,
I'm not really sure why me.

Listen, you guys all know
how you want to play this,

but people actually like
the idea of the BBC
having values.

Yeah, bollocks, Simon. Brilliant.

Also, like Tony says, if you
sign Cristiano Ronaldo,

you don't leave him
on the bench, you get him
out on the pitch.

Right.
Yeah, plus no one
else will do it.

No.
Yes, no, brilliant, guys.
Brilliant, brilliant.

With the decision made,

for Ian, by far
the most significant aspect

of being on the 6:00 news
is that it's now
nine minutes to six.

Oh, Ian, yes, hi.
Anna, hi.

I wanted to talk to you.
Yes, actually I'm just on
my way down to do...

The fact is, I'm going to say
something about values
at the Better launch.

Oh, okay, great.
As I say, I'm just...
The fact is, it's important.

Yes, no, fine by me, Anna,
we should talk about it.
Yes, exactly.

Yeah, no, the thing is
this is live, so...

I need to know
what you had in mind.

What? What I had in mind?
Yes.

Yes. The fact is,
you're Head of Values.

Anna, I can't really...
Okay, fine.

If you want to e-mail
something to Jack by tomorrow,
I'll see what I can do.

Right. Anna,
I've really got to go.
Yes, okay, good.

By 6:00,
it's time for the 6:00 news.

The BBC is facing
mounting criticism tonight

after it announced
that Evan Davis,
the presenter of Newsnight,

is to appear as a contestant
in the next series

of the BBC One entertainment
show, Strictly Come Dancing.

Ian, hi. Hi.

Ben.
Yes, hello, yes.

Thanks very much
for doing this.
No, it's my pleasure.

Are you warm enough?
Yes, no.

'Cause we've got
another coat here...
No, I'm fine, thanks.

Okay. 90 seconds tops,
so it should be pretty straightforward.

Yes, good. Great.

Our Media Correspondent,
Benedict Cartwright

is outside New Broadcasting
House for us now.

Ben, this is news that
the BBC could presumably
do without right now?

Sophie, it is, Sophie, yes.

The issues for the BBC
around this

are many and complex
of course,

but the main area of
controversy seems to be
around whether the presenter

of its most high profile
current affairs programme

has any business appearing
in what's often described
as a famously naff,

if popular,
light entertainment show,
and if so...

If a live interview
is an unexpected
challenge for Ian,

for newly-promoted
Will Humphries,

it's a chance to become
personal assistant to
someone on television.

With me now is Ian Fletcher,
the BBC's so-called
Head of Values,

whose job it is,
one imagines anyway,

to keep a watching brief
on standards

right across
this vast, sprawling

and, some might say,
deeply troubled organisation.
Yes, hello.

Ian Fletcher, this is a bit of
an own goal for you, isn't it?

Well, no...
Another example of both
you and the BBC

being, frankly, a bit useless.

That's not something
I can accept, Ben,

and it's not a picture
of the BBC I recognise.

With the greatest
respect though,

why on earth should we trust
someone like you on this,

or indeed on anything at all?

No, look, at the heart of this
is something very important,

it's a fact that nobody
over the age of 40,

or above the weight
of 17.5 stone,

has ever won
Strictly Come Dancing.

And at a time
when body stereotyping

is such a big issue
for so many people,

we think that's something
worth reporting on.

We're not going to
apologise for that.

Well, Ian Fletcher, thank you.

Well, Sophie,
there you have it,

there we have
the official view,

the view, if you like, from
within the highly secretive,

some might say
frankly incomprehensible
building behind me.

Whether anyone will believe
a single word of it is
a different matter, of course.

Something the coming
days and weeks will
no doubt tell us. Sophie.

Ben, thank you.

And you can see more
on that story
in a special report

on Newsnight with Evan Davis
at 10:30 on BBC Two tonight.

Thanks, Ian, that was great.
Yes, thanks.

Hey.
Hi.

How's it going?

Good, yes, great. Good.

How's it going with you?
Oh, you know.
Pretty busy, really.

Yes.
You know we're doing this BBC
Better launch at Pinewood?

Yes, no, I know.

Looks like I'm basically
going to end up writing
Anna's speech for her, so...

Right, yes.

Kind of interesting
thing to do.

Ground floor.

Yes, mmm.
Doors opening.

No, 'cause it
did occur to me...
What did?

So, Anna wants
Lucy Freeman to do this
Head of Inclusivity thing.

Head of Inclusivity?
Yeah.

I didn't even know
there was a Head of...

Well, no, there is now,
or going to be, keep up.

She's desperate to announce
it at the Better launch.
Right. So?

So, it just occurred to me,
if Lucy ends up doing it,

there will probably be, like,
a development role

in entertainment
to fill, that's all.

Okay, I don't need
your bloody help, Jack, okay?

Right. Okay, Christ.
Thank you.

Fine. Cool, whatever.
I'm quite capable of running
my own life, thank you.

I won't mention anything
to Anna or anyone.
No. Please don't.

I won't.
Yes.

No, any time.
Thank you.

Great.

Hi, Lucy.
Hi. Are you busy?

No, come on in.

Actually, I'm just
on my way out, I think,

however you want to take that.

Have you got time
for a quick drink?

A drink?
It doesn't matter if not.

It's like, it's all so...
I went in there
to say I was leaving.

I actually couldn't
believe it. No.

It's like she just thought
I was going to decide.
Yes. Well...

Like she wanted me to say
yes there and then.

Next thing you know,
she'll be asking for 200 words

on inclusivity for her
speech at this...
She did, yes.

Right, did she really?
Yes, whether
I wanted it or not.

Right, well, I mean,
Anna's not stupid.

Isn't she? I can't tell.

No, one thing about people
like Anna is they're brilliant

at surrounding themselves
with good people,

and I suspect
she knows you're good.

So it's a question of what you
want to do about that, really.

The truth is,
the ridiculous thing,

I don't really know
what inclusivity actually is.

No. Well, this would be a hell
of a way of finding out.

Another day
at New Broadcasting House,
and after all the controversy,

Newsnight anchor Evan Davis
is discovering
that the transition

from current affairs
to light entertainment

might not be quite as
seamless as he thought.

Okay, this is kind of where
we are at the moment.

I mean, it's not bad,
but, I mean, frankly, I mean,

you guys will know
more about how you want
to see this than I do,

but, is it just me
or is it just a bit... Yes.

A bit tired, a bit top-down,

all a bit,
I don't know, a bit...

Yes.
Sure.

A bit last year, you know?
No, sure.

Yes, exactly, yes.

Meanwhile, inside,
Director of Strategic
Governance, Simon Harwood,

has convened an open meeting
to introduce the idea
of a new and better

BBC senior
management structure

to an audience of those who
don't already know about it.

Now, I mean, listen, you guys
will know how you want to
see this, but the thinking is,

if this isn't who we are,
then who are we?
What?

Don't know.
God knows. Give up.

Yes, no, brilliant.
Brilliant, Neil.

With so much change afoot,

Simon has been working hard
behind the scenes

to ensure that the outcome
is as strategic

as it possibly can be
for everyone around him.

'Cause it did occur to me,
not being stupid or anything
but I am going to ask this,

what's happening with
the Head of Output now?

Yes, no brilliant.
If Anna's Director of Better?

Brilliant.
It's exciting, isn't it?
Is it?

Yes, no,
good question, Tracey. Yes.

No, listen. Anyway, I guess
we'll have to wait and see
how that all pans out.

Right.

Hey, don't look at me.
Oh, right. Okay.

Brilliant.
All hail.

Shut up. Fine.

Sorry, am I too late, guys?

No.
Lovely.

No, I mean, if you're sure
you can be bothered with this.

Oh, no, I just thought,
you know, while I'm tackling
my crayfish and quinoa...

Fuck's sake. Brilliant.

All righty.
So that's the bad old days.

So, everyone,
get an eyeful of this.

Yes?

Yep.

Right.
Oh, right.

Great.

Anyone spot the difference?
No, sure.

Yeah, this one
doesn't make sense.

As well as
being conceived horizontally

rather than vertically,

the new
senior management structure

puts the new
Director of Better

very much
at the centre of things,

freeing up other posts
around it

to play radically
more independent roles.

Of course, this whole
sort of top-down thing, gone.

Yes.
At a stroke.

No, sure. Hurrah.

And if there's one thing
we know about Tony,

it's just how much of
a lateral kind of a guy he is.

Yes.
Yeah, no, sure.

Yes.
Although, at the risk

of upsetting anyone's sense
of balance, Simon,

if you turn this on its side,

it's almost exactly
the same as it was
when it was top-down.

Really?
I've got to say
I thought that too.

Really? Genius.
Yeah.

I mean, I know how hard
you've worked on this, Simon.

Oh, now, pish.
Together with
Ben and Jerry...

Tish.
Tosh.

And I know for a fact
how grateful Tony is too. Right.

But when we finally sat down
to go through it all,

we did end up wondering
whether there might not be

a way of reimagining
this whole thing altogether.

Brilliant.
Yes, 'cause I'm not being
funny or anything, Ian,

but I've got to say,
speaking personally,

I am struggling with this.

I mean, I don't know
if you want to look at
this now, Simon, or if...

Oh, yes, no, of course,
brilliant, yes. No.

'Cause, for my sins,
I said I'd have a go at it

and this is just one
that he did seem to
be quite keen on.

Do you want...
No, it's fine, actually,

Will's just done his
Syncopatipoint module,

and he set this
thing up for me.

You can unplug all your leads.

So...

Okay.
Blimey.

Oh, right, no,
hang on that's...

Right, okay.
Oh, my God.

Okay, no.

So we ended up
calling this one the
Creative Network Model

but you could call it
whatever you like.

So, what? This would
be more of a circle,
Ian, would it?

Well, for what it's worth,
what Tony liked about this

is the idea of everyone
feeding in equally

around a common purpose.

No, I'm sorry.
Guys, I've got to say,
I prefer this.

Ideas fizzing in all
directions, into the centre,

out again, around
a sort of creative hub. Brilliant.

It reminds me of
Television Centre before
we knocked it down

or whatever we've done now.

Yes, I mean,
it's interesting, isn't it?

His thing was, and I hadn't
really thought about this,

but, in a way,
it does feel more like a BBC
sort of thing somehow,

and, maybe, it just might be
more liberating for all of us.

No, brilliant, Ian. Genius.

Yeah, no, sure.

Yeah,
it's bloody brilliant.

Meanwhile,
it's a number of weeks later

and the concept of BBC Better
is finally launching itself

at the majorly iconic venue
of Britain's Pinewood Studios,

home of Pinewood Studios.

No, back. No, go back.

This is a big night
for the BBC and in the famous
John Barry screening room,

every last detail
has got to be checked
with nothing left to chance.

So we've got
Janet Street-Porter
next to Justin Welby.

Sure.
Is that right?

No, sure.
No, back, further back.

Janet loves the Kaiser Chiefs.

Justin Welby's
the Archbishop of Canterbury. Sure.

Yes, so is that right?

No, sure, so you've got
all the big enchiladas

right here in the front row.
Right, okay, fine.

Jack?
Yeah.

This is wrong,
I don't recognise this.
What?

No, sure.
This is not
what I wrote.

Is it?

No. No. No, it's not.

Okay, so we should maybe
talk about this.

This is... Where's all
this crap come from?

No, sure, we just
um... Tweaked it a bit.
Okay, no.

You tweaked it?
I don't want this.

I punched it up a little.
Okay, I'm sorry, no.

You punched it up?
Sure.

I don't want it.
So, hang on, what else
have you done to it?

Excuse me?
I don't want this.

So, how many
other changes are there?
No, sure, okay.

Like, we just went
through it, that's all. No.

I've been...
I don't want this.

We've been working on
this speech for, like, weeks.

Okay, and now you've finally
got something, okay?
What?

You are so going
to kill here, girl.

Not... No, I don't want this.

I don't want it.

Meanwhile,
outside the screening room,

the great and the good
are gathering in force,

ready and waiting
to have their opinions formed.

For Lucy Freeman,
this is a chance to try
to get used to the idea

of being the BBC's new
Head of Inclusivity.

Whilst for Tracey Pritchard,
it's a chance to meet

TV's go-to classical-talking
woman, Professor Mary Beard,
in the flesh.

I'm not a classical scholar
or anything, obviously,

although I have actually
been to Greece
a number of times,

but speaking personally as
a woman, I've got to say this,

I am a big admirer
of your work.

Because, before you,
I mean, let's be honest
about this,

it was all either men
or Simon Schama.

Brilliant.
Right, well...

'Cause the way I see it,
not being funny or anything,

but the truth is, we can't
all be Lucy Worsley, can we?

Yes, would you...
Lovely Lucy.

Can I get you another...

Very sorry to interrupt.
Izzy. No, that's fine.

It's just, well,
Anna has locked
herself in the toilet.

God, no.
All right, okay.

In the toilet?

Yes, and she won't come out.
Right, okay.

Oh, bloody great.

I think, to begin with,
she went in there
for just a moment.

Right.
You know, just to
have a bit of a think.

But, now
she's dropped her contact lens
down the sink

and she's refusing
to come out.
Oh, right.

Oh, my God!

I mean, what the hell
I'm supposed to do about this,
God knows.

I had to tell someone.
Oh, great!

You're really good
at this stuff, Ian.
Yes, you are, Ian, yes.

What? Talking Anna Rampton
out of toilets?

Anyway, I didn't know
what else to do.

Plus, we can make
the Autocue, like, really big. Yes.

In the context of
the launch of BBC Better,

and with the audience
ready to go in,

it's clearly
not such a great thing

that the new
Director of Better has
locked herself in the toilet.

Anna?

Yes, hello, Anna?

We're all here now.

Ian's here,
it's lovely out here.

Look, just say something,
you stupid bitch!

Okay, could everyone
just shut up a minute?
This isn't helping.

Okay, so I know
what's happened.

She does have her glasses
with her, she has them
wherever she goes

but she won't ever wear them,
'cause you know... Right.

Especially not
at a thing like this.

She won't?
No, sure, I totally get that.

I know, nightmare.
I'm like, "Duh."

You've tried everything else,
you could think of?

Honestly, trust me,
I know her, she is never
coming out of there now.

Right, okay, well...
Good luck.

Yes, thanks.

Anna, it's Ian.

Just to say,
if you need anything,

if there's anything
I can help you with...

'Cause I'm not sure
quite what I mean by this,

but I'm sure
it's all basically okay.

Right. Okay.

Hi.

How are you?

The fact is, I can't do this.

Well, I'm sure you can.

No one knows about this
in there, by the way.

They're all fine with
their wine and olive thingies.

You know, is it tapenade?

Anyway, they're
perfectly happy
braying at each other

about God knows what,
so it's all...

We've got time,
you can just...

You know, if you want to talk
or just catch your breath,
it's fine.

'Cause I think
they're basically across
the Autocue thing now, so...

As far as
I can gather, anyway.

I mean, the other thing
to say, and I probably
shouldn't say this,

so, don't take it
the wrong way.

I mean, here we are,
we all get very...

But in the end,
in the big scheme of things,

none of this really
matters that much.

I mean, not really, does it?

I don't mean... I just...
I sometimes find that helps.

Helps me, anyway, when...

Yes, so...

The other thing,
and for God's sake,

don't take this
the wrong way either

is as far as the whole
glasses thing goes,

I have to say, I mean,
they certainly do it for me.

But, as I say, that's not...

Ah, right.

Sorry, lip gloss,
otherwise I'd do it properly.

Right. Right. Yes.

Right, good, okay!