All language subtitles for movieddl.me_W1A.S02E01.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-WELP_track3_[eng]

Standby, two.
Mix through. Cue on two.

The BBC has
announced the appointment

of ex-head of Olympic
Deliverance, Ian Fletcher,

as its new Head of Values.

Time now
for the Shipping Forecast.

Superimpose.

I mean, obviously,
a royal visit at any time
would be a big thing for us,

but coming now...
It's Monday

at the BBC's
Central London Headquarters,

New Broadcasting House
in Central London,

and Head of Values,
Ian Fletcher,

is chairing an
important meeting

of the Way Ahead taskforce.

Anyway, the point is the
relationship between the BBC
and the royal family

is a very delicate and
important issue in
all kinds of ways.

But in the context of
charter renewal in 2016,

and, let's face it,

this is a royal charter we're
talking about renewing here...

Yay.
Suddenly an occasion
like this starts to look like

a really significant
opportunity for us to,
you know, to...

Yeah, basically, it's a huge
opportunity to not fuck it up.

Well, I mean...
Yes. Yes. Cool!

Yes, no, brilliant. Brilliant.

In his role as
patron and future heir to
the environment,

Prince Charles is due to visit
New Broadcasting House

to present an award
for the BBC as

the world's first zero-energy
broadcaster.

Can I just say, Ian, that we
have been in regular contact

with the comms people
at Clarence House?

Right, well, this is good,
cos it's important

to get the fine detail
of this thing right,
right from the start.

Apparently, the key thing is,
whatever you do,

you absolutely must
not touch him.

No, sure. Yes.

Unless he
touches you first.

The fact is that's true.
No, sure, I'm totally good
with that.

Right, good.

Also, we have to lock down
a special toilet

for three days in advance
before he actually arrives.

Right.
Christ.

I was thinking more,
I mean, that's
very fine detail.

Yes, it is, exactly, Ian.

Also, something
else that came up,

he doesn't do
sweetcorn at all.

Right.
No.

Cool.
Brilliant.

Meanwhile,
downstairs,

intern Will Humphries
is arriving as usual,

keen to get into the building
and begin some sort of day.

Er, yeah, hi.
Hi, can I help?

Yeah, it's, like,
my pass doesn't work?

Okay.
Yeah, I don't know,
it's, like, it's not working.

Okay, let me try.

Okay.
Yeah, cos I've got, like,
a coffee for Ian Fletcher?

Okay, you will
have to sign in.

No, but I work here?
You work here.

I'm kind of like an intern.

Okay, but, I mean, your
pass doesn't work,

so you will have to sign in.

Hi, Will.

Oh, yeah, hi, Izzy.
Yeah, hi.

How are you?
Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

Good.
Yeah, so, like,
I'm in reception,

but, like,
my pass isn't working?

Oh, okay.
Like, I'm supposed
to sign in,

but it's like I have to be
visiting someone?

Right, yes.

Yeah, so, like, would it
be okay if I visited you?

Yeah, sure, okay.
Okay, cool.

Cos I've got, like,
a coffee for Ian Fletcher?

I think I have to come
down and get you, though.

What? Yeah,
I know, yeah, crap.

Okay, stay there and I'll
come down in a minute.

Okay, cool, yeah,
I'll stay here.

Okay.
Okay, cool.

I mean, I am quite busy at
the moment, David.
Oh, I know...

I have got quite a lot on.
I know, tell me about it.

Meanwhile, after a
more than usually complicated
start to the day

with her daughter at home,

senior producer
Lucy Freeman has arrived,

with just enough time to
snatch a quick breakfast
on her own,

but, nevertheless,
entertainment format
executive David Wilkes

is keen to ask her advice
about an idea he's been
asked to have.

I mean, what was the remit
she gave you?

The remit?
Yeah.

No, sorry, you've lost me
already there, Lucy.

Following a mixed reception for
Britain's Top Village,

with Gary Lineker and
Holly Willoughby last year,

he's been invited to come
up with something
even better than that

by Head of Output
Anna Rampton.

I don't know what it is!
Whether she's like
done something to her hair...

Do you know what I mean?
Mmm.

I can't quite put
my finger on it.
So, what ideas

have you got so far?

Okay, so the direction
I'm going in,

like the way my
mind is working,

I was thinking maybe something
like Uptown Downtown.

What?

I'm still working on
the title, obviously. Yes.

So, basically, celebrities
have like a town, okay?

So, maybe Myleene Klass
was born in...

Well, I don't know, she must
come from somewhere.

Yes.
And they compete
against each other.

You have, like, judges,
like Kirstie Allsopp,

to convince
you that theirs is the
best town in Britain.

Right, okay.

So, almost exactly like
Britain's Top Village then.

Okay, so, with
Town it's, like,

what you've done is you've
taken Village, okay?

And what you've done is you've
gone up a gear straightaway.

Right. Any others?

Oh, what?
Any other ideas?

Just in case that
one doesn't fly, yes.

Look at you, you're
so healthy, Lucy.

Do you know what?
Excuse me.

I'm putting this back.

I'm going for
fruit salad instead.

Do you know what?
I'm going to have both.

Sorry, think I'll have both.

Honestly, what am I like?

And then finally
the other thing

I just wanted to touch
on this morning

is this issue around Wimbledon
that's come up.

Ah, okay.
Yeah, bollocks.

Brilliant.

Meanwhile,
back up in Frankie Howerd,

Ian is literally setting
the agenda in the
Way Ahead Meeting.

Can I just say I was actually
going to raise this in
Damage Limitation, Ian.

Right.
It doesn't matter
what meeting it is,

it's the BBC,
it's damage limitation, okay?

Well, I mean...
Just saves time.

In the past few
weeks, there have been
rumours that the BBC

could be in danger of losing
its exclusive contract
to broadcast

the Wimbledon Tennis Championships
to a rival broadcaster,

in this case, S...

The fact is I've made
my views clear on this.

Cannot happen, okay?

Well, exactly.
Absolutely cannot happen.

I mean, for Christ's sake.
I'm sorry, but here we go,
we're panicking already.

This is just a bit of...
I mean,

I don't know where this story
came from for a start.

Well, I can't speak
for anyone else, Neil,

but I got it
from BBC News.

Yeah, okay.
Yes, me too, Neil, yes.

Yes.
Right. Fuck.

The BBC has
broadcast Wimbledon in one
form or another

unremittingly for
over 90 years.

If it was to lose it now,

it would be a major blow
to its very BBCness.

Worse still, the ensuing
debate has thrown
up suggestions

in some quarters that its
coverage of the Championships

is, in certain respects,
too white.

Guys, I don't want to be
dramatic about this,

and, I mean,
we all love Sue Barker,

but I got to say we are
looking at a situation here

and not in a good way. Brilliant.

I mean, brilliant.
Too white?

Bummer.
I don't think it's about
Sue Barker specifically.

Apart from anything else,
it's factually inaccurate.

Right, well...
The fact is Sue Barker was
originally blonde.

Right, yes...

As I say, I don't...

Yes, Will, come in.

No, come in, come in.
Come in!

Thanks, Will, that's great.
Yeah, hi, sorry.

No, that's great, thanks.
Er, we missed
each other earlier.

Yeah, I know, it's like
my pass isn't working?

Oh, bad luck.
Yeah, crap.

Right, well...
Yeah, so, like,
Izzy came down to get me.

Oh, right, did she?
Yeah.

Oh, well, that's nice. Yeah.

Okay. Well, thanks,
anyway, Will.

Yeah, no worries,
yeah, cool.

Right. Good.

Yes, no, I mean,
I think we're in danger

of being drawn into detail
too early again here.

I mean, Wimbledon is obviously
a cornerstone of the...

Okay, okay, okay, erm,

here's the thing with this,
erm, it's a no-brainer.

What it is is, okay, so, now
we've got two things, okay?

We've got like Wimbledon,
which is like tennis, okay?

And we've got BBC,
which is like,

erm, I don't know...

Sue Parker, okay?
Sue Barker.

Sure, and what you want is,
erm, you want one thing...

One thing?
Sure.

So, what you're looking
at here is a brand mashup.

Right...
Oh, right.
Here we go.

A "brand mashup"?

Sure. You want to say more
about how that could work?

Well, erm...
No, sure.

Really?
Er, so it's, like,

I don't know,
it's like okay, okay, okay...

Okay. So, it's like I say,
erm, like the word
"Peanut", okay?

What are you thinking?
Peanut?

No, I said that.

That's the word I just said.
Yes, no, I...

What are you thinking?
Erm...

Okay, I'll say it again, okay?
But don't think,
just say stuff.

Peanut.

Monkey.
Yes, very good.

Butter.
"Butter"?

Peanut butter, okay?
Brilliant.

Duh.
Well, I'm sorry, Siobhan,

but I think of monkey.

Okay, there's no such thing as
peanut monkey, okay?

What?
I mean, that's like,

I don't even know
where to start.

So, like peanut and butter,
two things.

Peanut butter, one thing.

Yes...
Yes, no, very strong.

BBC and Wimbledon,
two things.

BB-Swimbledon, one thing.

Yes, no,
I think we've got that.

No, sure, it's, like,
what's not to get?

And this is an area where you
could have some ideas?

Well, hang on...
Where we could have ideas?

Yes.
Like there are
areas we don't?

Right...
Okay, good.

Shall we just have a think
about exactly how we
want to play this?

The fact is this is important.

Yes.
I've already made that clear.

Yes, no, brilliant.
But, Siobhan,

I don't want to spoil this
party we're all having now,

but you can actually have
other kinds of butter.

Excuse me?
I don't believe this.

You can have, like,
brandy butter or
just ordinary butter.

It doesn't have to be peanut.

There's no such thing
as monkey butter, okay?

What?
Brilliant.

Get over it. Brilliant.

Very strong.

Cos, sometimes,
I mean, it's her hair, obviously,

but sometimes, she has it
done really straight,

and, to be honest,
I just don't think it does
her any favours.

Mmm...
Do you know what
I mean, though?

Meanwhile,
down in the Syncopaticafe,

it's becoming increasingly
clear to Lucy

that she's having breakfast
with David.

So, why the sudden
urgency from Anna,
all of a sudden, anyway?

Mmm, I know.

Do you know what, Lucy?

I think it's to do
with this new job.

What new job?
Oh, okay.

Well, apparently, no one's
supposed to know anything yet,

but they created this new
like Director of Better or...

"Director of Better"?
Apparently, yeah.

Better what?
I mean, basically,

I think what it is is...

Yeah, you know what?
I don't care.
No? Okay.

Anyway, all it is is she needs
something really good

to have up her
sleeve if she applies.

Right. So, all you need to
do now is think of
something really good?

Oh, I know, tell me about it.

I mean, this is so
not my area, David...

No, I know.
But if you want
my honest opinion...

Yes, please, Lucy, I do.

I'd be tempted to go in a
different direction, I think.

All right.
If I was you.

Maybe surprise her with
something original.

Okay.

That's interesting.

That's brilliant, Lucy.
That's really great.
Thank you.

So, when you say
"different direction", Lucy...

As I say, I'm really not...

No, no, just an example of
what you mean, I mean.

I mean, I don't know, if all
the celebrities in the world

swapped pets with
each other for a week or...
Oh, my God!

I mean, not that, obviously...

Kylie has a
Rhodesian ridgeback.

Yes, well, that's...
And then it's, like,

"Will they miss
their old pets?

"Or will they fall in love
with the new one?"

No, David...
Do you think a week
would be enough?

Okay, so, how it works is
you guys go either end

and I'm like umpire
or judge or whatever.

Cool.
Groovy.

Over at
Perfect Curve,
it's a different day

and Siobhan is preparing
her creative team

to play mashup tennis.

So, then you guys have,
like, ideas,

okay, so, like, you have
an idea, okay?

Yeah, so, like...
So, no shut up, still me.

Yeah.
So, like, you hit
the idea ball...

Cool.
And if your idea
isn't better than your idea,

then you lose
the point, okay?
Okay.

Okay, cool. Yeah.

With other broadcasters,
such as S...

Making moves to poach the
iconic event from the BBC,

leaving it with no live sports
that people understand,

their mission to both mashup

and pimp the
BBC Wimbledon brand

at the same time,
which isn't easy.

So, it's, like,
serious shit.

But that doesn't
mean they can't have fun.

It doesn't mean we can't
have fun here, right?

Okay, you serve.
Sure, whatever.

Go!
Okay.

No, hang on,
what's going on?

Okay, no, that's too slow,
you're out.

No, but it's like
it's singles, otherwise
it doesn't work.

Yeah, singles, yeah,
whatever. Go.
Okay?

So, I could be, like, down
the other end?

No.
Yeah.

Well, how's
that going to help?

He could be, like, ball boy.

Yeah, cool, yeah,
ball boy, yeah, cool.

Okay?
Yeah.

Okay. Right. Ready?

Yeah. Go!

So, you have BBC newsreaders
or like David Thingy

actually umpiring the matches.

Cool.
Shit.

David who?
This is good.

Erm, old guy, grey hair,
does, like,

political stuff
with politicians.

Attenborough.
Yeah,
David Attenborough.

Yeah, cool, yeah.
Okay, cool idea, Barney.

15-love.

Coco, your... Fault.

Excuse me?
What?

Yeah, because what
if David Attenborough

doesn't know the rules of
tennis or like how to score?

In this idea,
he does know the rules.

Well, he might not,
it's not as easy as it looks.

You're a ball boy, okay?
Yeah.

Okay, cool.
So, I could be
like net cord judge?

What?
Okay, 30-15.

Coco.
Okay, so...

With, like, the finger,
it's pretty cool.

Yeah, so, like,
with the umpires,

like, with David Attenborough
or maybe, like, Alan Sugar?

Yeah, yeah, cool, yeah,
Alan Sugar, yeah.

Like, so now all they do
is, like, say the score,

but they could be
more like judges.

Cool.
So, like, at the
end of the rally,

they'd be like
"15-love. Nice footwork."

Yeah, yeah, cool.
Or if it's just out,

they're like "Love-15.
Cool shot, but no cigar."

Yeah, cool, yeah.
Okay, I love this,
this is epic.

Okay, so, erm, like,
30-30, whatever.

Barney?
Okay.

So, we have Graham Norton
up in the Players' Box?

Excuse me?
Cool.

Yeah, so he's, like,
up there with, like,
the players' girlfriends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No way!

Yeah. Cos when, like,
the players swap
ends and sit down,

normally that's when
you go to adverts,

but, with the BBC,
they don't have adverts, Bummer.

Yeah, so instead you've
just got two guys, like,
sitting there eating bananas.

Well, sometimes it's like
they take their shirts off.

Yeah, but...
Yeah, sometimes.

But with Graham
up there with, like,

Andy Murray's
girlfriend...
Kim?

Yeah, Kim, yeah.

We love Kim,
she's gorgeous.

Yeah.
And big sunglasses.

Yeah, and Graham's like,
"How are you feeling?"

Or "Oh, my God, we're
so loving that dress, Kim."

God, I love this, this is
just, like, the best thing
ever, okay?

Erm, 30-40.
No, it's...

Okay, okay. 40... 30-30?
40, deuce, whatever. Go!

Hi, Izzy. Hi.

Have you got a moment?
Back at
New Broadcasting House,

Ian has had an issue on his
mind, and it hasn't gone away.

I don't want to disturb you,
I know you're busy enough.

That's okay.
But I wonder if it
would be possible?

Will's pass isn't working,
for some reason.

Yes, no, I know.
Oh, yes, thanks for letting
him in again today.

I had a quick look
on Syncopatico...

Yes.
But as usual,
I couldn't make...

You know, it kept telling me
I wasn't discoverable,

or my network settings were in
conflict with, you know,
my, God knows.

Yes.
So, basically I fell at the
first hurdle.

Yes, no, I had a
look earlier, too.

Oh, right. And?
His pass has
actually run out.

Well, I mean yes,
that's the...
No, I mean, it's...

What?

I think Will's internship
has expired.

Oh, God.
I know.

No.
Yeah.

I haven't said
anything to him.
No, no, of course.

I don't really know
what to say.
I mean, are you sure?

So, the standard period is
normally, like, eight weeks.

Eight weeks?
I know.

But, I mean, that's,
how long?

11 months.
11 months?

Yeah.

Well, how can that happen?

I don't think
anyone's noticed. No.

No, okay. Well, at least
that's something positive,
I suppose.

Yes.
Yeah.

Okay, so, like, on court,

you have, like, BBC theme
tunes for both players.

Okay, so, I don't get that.

Yeah, okay...
I don't get it.

Yeah, so, like, say
Andy Murray is going to play
Novak Djokovic, okay?

Okay, so, I don't even know
what that is.

He's, like, world number
one or something.

Okay, sure, whatever.
Yeah, but, like, at tennis.

So, like, Novak,
he'd be like Doctor Who,

because he's, like, a bit...
Sure, whatever.

Yeah, he's kind
of like an alien.

Yeah, but...
Yeah, like his hair.

Yeah, but, Andy,
he'd be, like, Strictly.

We love Strictly.

Yeah, so, like, if Novak wins
a rally and then it's like...

Okay, no, I get that.
Yeah, but then, like,

the whole crowd joins in,
so it's like...

Yeah, I still get it.
Do Strictly.

Then, if, like, Andy wins
a rally, then it's like...

Ho!

Holy shit.
Yeah, cos then it's, like,

suddenly it's, like,
party time.

Do it again.
Ho!

Somebody tie this girl down.
Yeah, it's like...

Ho!

Good job, guys,
we did good here.

We totally nailed this coyote.

It's like ho!
We just BBCed Wimbledon.

Well played, good match. Cool.

Yeah. Ho...

Back over at
New Broadcasting House,

it's a completely
different day.

And as Ian arrives for work,

the first issue of the morning
presents itself

even before he's made it
inside the building.

Oh, hi, Will.
Yeah, hey, yeah, cool.

There you go.

Right, thanks. I mean, that's
really good of you, Will...

No worries.
No, I mean, really,
I'm perfectly capable,

I should get used to carrying
my own bike and getting
my own coffee.

Yeah, no, no worries.
That's cool.

No, but...
It's like a system.

Right, yes.

Yeah, so my pass
still isn't working?
Right, no.

I asked Simon Harwood
when he came through
if I could visit him,

but he said it's probably
better if I visit you?

Oh, right yes, did he?
Yeah.

I prefer visiting you anyway,
it's better.

I mean, we really need to
sort this out at some point.

Yeah, I know, crap. Yes.

Yeah, with the pass,

I was thinking maybe it's like
the photo's, like,
just too weird.

I mean, someone's going to
have to tell him, aren't they?

Yes.

I'll tell him.
This is awful.

I know.
I'll tell him.
Really, I don't mind.

I don't think there is,
like, a formal system.

But he seems to
be closest to you.

Well, that's...
Yeah,
like you've adopted him.

Me?
Well, or Will's adopted you.

I mean, maybe if his pass just
keeps not working,

I suppose there's a chance
he might just work it
out for himself eventually.

Yes.

Right, okay, no. Great.

Meanwhile,
producer Lucy Freeman

is with potentially
new writer Dan Shepherd.

After working towards
developing a new drama,

Home Truth,
with him for over two years,

the project is finally nearing
another meeting.

I have to say, I don't know
what Matt's going to say

Right. But he asked for the
meeting so... Yeah.

I mean, I'm always cautious,
but, really, after everything,

with everything you've been
through, you have to think,

what else can it be
but something good?

Yeah. So, do you, like,
actually work here every day?

Yes, I do, yes.
Right, okay.

Every day.

Dan.
Hi.

You remember Matt?
How are we?

Yeah, good, yeah.

Thanks so much for coming
all the way down.
How's Whitby?

Wetherby.
Wetherby, yes,
Wetherby, of course.

Yeah, no, it's okay, thanks. Great.

It's still pretty
much the same.

Great, have a seat
or something.
Yeah. Oh...

Generic Head of
Comedy and/or
Drama Matt Taverner

has asked to
meet Lucy and Dan

to talk about what happens
next with Home Truth,

a love story set and told
very much in the context

of the Yorkshire seaside
town of Scarborough.

I mean, first of all,
I love what you've done
with these scripts.

Oh, right.
They're great,
aren't they?

I just think the characters
are really solid now.

Yeah.
Especially, I mean,
the main character, I just...

Sarah.
I love that she's a woman.

I love that she's,
you know, she's strong.

I really feel I know
who, er, Sarah is now.

Yeah, I haven't really done
anything to her.

No. Well, maybe not,
but the way she reads now

in the architecture
of the whole...

Oh, right.
So, the work you've done
around her as a protagonist.

Yeah.
I mean, look,
what I'm basically saying

is congratulations.

Oh, right, okay. Terrific.

Yes. Thanks.
See?

So, I guess part of my job is

I think a lot at the moment

about what is a
BBC story today.

Oh, right.
Do you?

And also about who do we want
to be telling stories about.

And who do we
want to tell them to.

Right.

I don't know.
Who?

I don't know.
I may be wrong about this...

Er, but is there
just something about
Scarborough as a place,

as a precinct, if you like,

is it a bit, I don't know,

maybe a bit one-dimensional
in some ways?

"One dimensional"?
Yeah, it is.

What do you mean by?
What do you mean, one...
What do you mean, Matt?

Well, I guess I just mean
culturally, really.

Is it all just a bit the same?

Yeah, no, definitely. Well...

Yeah. Cos I mean that's
sort of like the point.

Yeah, no, sure,
that's great, Dan.
That's brilliant.

I mean, okay, would it help
us at all here if...

I'm just throwing
this out there.

...would it help us if
we thought about reimagining
it somewhere

a bit more like, I don't know,
Leicester or?

Leicester?
Oh, right.

You know,
or Wolverhampton
or, I don't know,

maybe even somewhere like
Walthamstow, perhaps or?

Yeah. I'm just...
Walthamstow?

Would that make it
culturally richer?

And, if so, would that be
a good thing?

No, but, Matt,
but that's Walthamstow.

I mean, that's the polar
opposite of Scarborough.

No, sure.
You might as well
just start again.

No, no, this has
such potential, Dan.

We all feel the
same about that.

I guess, my job is just
to ask the question,

could it be even better?

Okay. Right.
And if it could,

I guess what I'm asking Dan
just to think about is,

is there something we might
all gain from that?

Yeah.

That's all I'm
thinking about here.

Yes.
Great.

I'm sorry,
I've got this wrong.

I thought he'd
apologised already.

Yes. Oh, he has,
Neil, yes.

Meanwhile,
it's Thursday,

and time for the Thursday
Damage Limitation Meeting.

Since the making
of this documentary,

certain events have happened.

As a result of which,
for technical reasons,

we are unable to mention
certain individuals by name.

The fact is he's issued a
formal apology on Twitter.

Yeah, okay, so...
He says he's never
had anything

at all against tossers
he's worked with
them all his life.

Yes.
Yes, no, very good.

Tracey, do we know what
the legal situation is?

Okay, I have spoken to
them quite extensively.

Traditionally,
the first item
on the agenda is

the Jeremy item
and today is no exception.

And what they're saying is,
over the last four
series of the show,

if his use of the
word comes to less

than once an hour
of broadcast time,

or to put it more clearly 0.5
times every half hour,

This week, there
have been complaints about
his use of the word

"tosser" in the BBC Two
hit sitcom, Top Gear.

Whereas if his use of the
word is above that figure,

it counts as detrimental... Okay.

In which case,
I don't know what.

I mean, listen, this is so
not my area of thingy,

I don't know how the whole
thing works.

The fact is we need to be
better at this sort of thing.

Yes, very good. Right.

Yes.
Well, I mean,
leaving aside

the issue of
whose responsibility

this actually is
for a moment...

I've already
said what I think.

Surely the first thing is to
establish the answer to the
frequency of use question.

Brilliant.
Because that might
just clarify the whole thing.

Right, okay, fine. Brilliant.

Good-o!
So, hang on, wait a minute,

so someone's going to have to
watch four years' worth of
Top Gear back-to-back?

Well, I mean... Yes.

Jesus!
Exactly, Neil, yes.

Going to go bloody mad.
The fact is it's
basically Dave.

Yeah, they're going
to go bloody mad.

Okay. All righty, er,
Jeremy, tick.

Now onto frankly rather
more royal matters now.

With this week's
strategy agreed,

Simon can move the meeting
onto the main item,

the increasingly forthcoming
visit of Prince Charles.

Erm, brilliant, so, Ian,
I had a quick decaf
with Tony earlier.

Right, did you?
Yes, I mean, he'll know
how you want to play this

better than I do, but, erm,
for what it's worth we got
really rather excited about

the idea of you doing a sort
head prefect number for
us on the day, Ian.

Yes.
You know, ushering
his HRH-ness

up to the headmaster's office,

chatting with some of the
brighter sixth formers
on the way.

Yes, no, I talked to Tony
about this last week.

Oh, okay, brilliant.
We both...

Brilliant.
We both agreed, though,

when it comes to the sequence
of events on the day itself,

it's key that we all know
what's going to happen

and we all know
what we're doing.

Yes.
Yes, very good.

No, I agree with that, Ian.

Yeah, also it'd be a first.

One thing I can say,
something they've
very clear about,

apparently he wants to
meet people from all
levels in the BBC.

Right.
Yes, no, very good.

Why?
No, I don't know why, Anna,

they don't tell you that.

But he doesn't just want
to meet the high-ups.
That's all good to know.

Another thing they want
to know in advance, Ian,

is exactly who is going to
be in the greeting party.

Right, yes. Yes.

You know, who's actually going
to be meeting him, personally.

Yes.

That is something
they will need to know
in advance, Ian.

No, I mean, I said to Tony
that this is obviously something

we'll need to think
about very carefully.

Yes.
Yes, exactly.

Yeah.
Yes.

Brilliant.
Yeah, good luck with that.

Cos, do you
know what, Anna?

I just think it would be great
to go in a different
direction from Village,

if you want my honest opinion.

Heavy petting?

Okay, so Kylie
swaps her Rhodesian ridgeback

for like one week with
Alan Carr's Maine Coon.

What?

I know, I hadn't heard
of them, either,
had to look them up.

It's later that day
and Head of Output
Anna Rampton

has asked David Wilkes to
come into her office
and talk about his ideas.

"The largest domesticated
breed of cat

"with a distinctive
physical appearance
and valuable hunting skills."

Yes.
"Also known for its intelligence,

"gentle personality,

"and health problems,
such as feline..."

Yes, all right.
It's just something

I've not seen on television,
that's all.

Yes, and the fact is that's
not going to change. No.

The fact is this is a critical
moment in the
history of the...

Aware that
this is a critical moment
in the BBC's history,

Anna knows she's
in a situation where
she needs something

that's not only different,
but, crucially, better
than different.

And, crucially,
better than different.
Yes, right.

For David, this
a moment to draw on
his experience

as a development executive,

whilst at the same time
thinking with his feet.

Imagine Britain's Got Talent
meets Family Fortunes.

Right.
With a bit of
The One Show thrown in

just in case, obviously.
Britain's Top Family?

But that's just
the working title.

I was thinking maybe
something like
Family Face-Off.

Or maybe just Family,
because one word's good.

Yes.
And it's, like,

do you know what?
This is about all of us.

It's just got everything,
it's very...

Yes, so how would it work?

Well, each week, you've got,
like, two different families,

so, you know, like,
one, like, really posh one,

one, like, total car crash,
and they compete
against each other.

They compete how?
Sorry, Anna?

They compete how?

Yes. Because it's like we've
all got something we can do.

So, one week Granddad plays,
like, tunes on his head
with a spoon.

Okay.
And the kids are doing, like,
handstands while doing

impressions of, like, different...

The fact is the future of the
BBC is not old people
playing spoons

on their head with tunes.

No.
The fact is that's
what ITV is for.

Sorry, Anna, excuse me.
Jack?

Afraid they didn't have any
white tea in the end,
but I...

Okay, no.
I did manage to get hold
of some oolong.

No, that's not going to work.
Right, sure.

Can I get you anything else?
I'll have water.

Sure.
Not from the...

No, sure.
Oh, yes...

Nothing for me, thanks,
Jack, I'm fine.

Another e-mail from
Carrie at BBC America.

Yes?
They really need to know now

if you can do that week
of the 27th in LA?

Right.
I've been stalling,

cos I know that's the week
of the Prince Charles thing.

The, yes.
I wasn't sure if you were
going to be involved in that.

I can't do LA. Okay.

They can move it.
No, sure.

Okay, cool. Yes.

Wow.
Yes?

You're meeting Prince Charles
when he comes, Anna?

The fact is we've met before.
Lucky you.

Talk about
Britain's Top Family.
Hmm, yes.

Get him involved, then you
really have got a show.

I mean, when you first
came here, to the BBC, I mean,

what did they
actually tell you?

Yeah, they just said, like,
"Wait in reception."

Right. But did they say
anything about
how long it was for?

Yeah, it was like
most of the morning.

Then Izzy came down.

Right...
Yeah, I know.

Meanwhile,
Ian has invited Will
into Frankie Howerd

to talk about
things generally.

I don't really know
how to say this,

but internships are normally
for a limited amount of time.

Yeah.
They don't normally
last forever.

Yeah.
So, we need to
talk about that.

Yeah, no worries. It's not my
pass that's expired, it's me.

Well, no, that's not quite...
Yeah, no, that's cool.

It's like with school.
Well, yes...

It's sometimes you've
just got to leave right
in the middle of the morning.

Yes, I mean, really?

Yeah, my sister just turned
up in my mother's car. Right.

But, as well as
things generally, Ian also
knows that at some point

someone is going to
have to talk to Will

about things specifically
and that, for better, or,
more accurately, for worse,

he is that person
and this is that moment.

Anyway, as I say,
I think things have probably
come to the point where we...

I mean, I don't know
if you've had any thoughts

about the sort of thing you
might want to do next?

Yeah, I have, yeah.
Because I mean...

You have?
Yeah.

Oh, well, that's really...
That's great, Will.

Yeah, I know, yeah.
It's pretty cool.

So, what sort of thing are
you thinking of going for?

Cos I was going to
ask you about it.

Well, of course. Obviously,
I'd love to help, if I can.

Yeah, cool, yeah.

Cos, you know, like,
Izzy is, like, a PA to
Simon Harwood?

Yes, right.
Like, she feeds his fish
for him and stuff.

Yes, I mean... She what?

Yeah, so, like,
I was thinking...
His fish?

So, I was thinking, like, I do
your coffee and, like,
your bike and stuff.

Right...
So...

I mean, could I,
like, be PA to you?

PA to me?
Yeah, I mean, like,
a real one. Like, a real job.

Like, I could do
other stuff, too.

Cos that would be, like...
That would be so cool.

Right, okay...
Yeah, okay, no.

Well, no, Will...
Yeah, no worries.

Yeah, you know, yeah, crap.
No, it's just, as I say,

I'd like to help...
Yeah, me too.

But it's just, I mean,
for that to happen...

Okay, for a start,

I'd have to work out a formal
job description of some kind.

Yeah, cool, yeah.
No, but.

No, but you'd have to
apply for it, formally.

Okay.
I'd probably have to
give you a reference... Cool.

Which would be,
well, I'd have to think
about how to do that.

Yeah.
This whole thing

would have to go through
the BBC HR department...

Whoa!
And ultimately, you'd need to
be able to put together

a really top-quality,
impressive CV.

Okay.
What?

Let's go for it.
Well, no...

It's, like, sometimes you
have to believe in yourself,

because no one
else does, either.

The, what?
Yeah, cool,
yeah, let's do it.

Right, okay. Good.

Just to say, guys,
the royal convoy has left
Clarence House.

Great to have you around. Yeah.

And, you know,
good luck with,
Yeah, no.

Good luck.
We've got
a suspicious object

in the plaza.
What?

The world is
full of rucksacks with
Sue Barker's face on them.

No, it isn't!
That's a ridiculous
thing to say.

We know who that is.
Gonna have to...

I think he's
actually arrived.

But where actually are you?

I really do need to get out.

Okay, I know what I did there.

Where does this go?
What the hell's
going on in there?

The others
are just grouping up.

Grouping up? What are
they, the bloody red arrows?

The fact is, Prince Charles
is here to be met, and
somebody's got to meet him.

Sorry, how do we get back
to New Broadcasting House?

He's here. Okay?
He's outside now.
He's arrived.

Oh, God.