All language subtitles for movieddl.me_W1A.S01E01.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-WELP_track3_[eng]

Standby, two.
Mix through. Cue on two.

The BBC has
announced the appointment

of ex-head of Olympic
Deliverance, Ian Fletcher,

as its new Head of Values.

Time now
for the Shipping Forecast.

Superimpose.

It's a Monday morning

and one-time Head
of London Olympic Deliverance,

Ian Fletcher, is arriving
in central London.

He's about to start
a new chapter in his life.

It's a big change
for me, obviously.
It's a big job.

A huge challenge. A bit like
the first day at big school.

I've splashed out on
a new bike though,
just in case.

So that's all good.

He's come to
New Broadcasting House
in Upper Regent Street,

to take up his position as
Head of Values at the BBC,

a key and very senior
new post,

specifically created
in the light of recent

learning opportunities
at the corporation.

Hi, Izzy. It's Ian. Hi.

So, I'm Ian Fletcher. Yes, hi.

So, I'm actually in reception
and... Oh, right. Okay.

Well, not so far. I mean,
I've been here five minutes.

No, no. That's fine.
Could you?
That would be great.

Okay. No, don't worry.
That's fine.
Okay, thanks. Bye.

There's something
about the place as
soon as you come in.

You're aware that you're
at the centre of something
genuinely important,

and the really exciting
thing is to think that
part of my job

is going to be trying to
establish where that centre is

and also exactly
what it's in the middle of.

Y'ello. Yeah. Hi, Izzy.
Hi. How are you? Yeah, I am.

No, I mean, not.
No, I haven't, not actually.
Oh, right, cool.

Okay, cool. Yeah, good idea...
Say again?

Yeah, yeah.
No worries. I've got it.
You sent it to me.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Cool.
Okay. Bye-bye. Bye.

Hello?
Yeah. Hi, is that
Ian Fletcher?

Yes, it is, yes.
Cool. Yeah, so, I'm Will.

I'm like, I'm meeting you?
Yes.

So, like, where actually
are you? 'Cause I'm, like,
I'm basically here.

Yes.
So, I'm talking on the phone,
uh, I'm looking round.

Still talking.
I'm looking. Looking...

Hi.
No way.

Hello. Ian Fletcher.

Yeah, hi. I'm Will.
Except I've actually
been here all the time.

Yes, so have I.
That's just, like...

That's just, like, mental. Yes.

Yeah, 'cause I'm actually,
like, an intern. Yeah.
Oh, right. I see.

What does that
involve exactly?
Yeah. Say again?

You want to end up working
in this area eventually?

Well, do you mean, like,
like, as a job?
Well, yes.

Well. Yeah. Cool. Yes.

Sixth floor.

What I'm doing is,
I have to take you to Izzy.

Right. And who's Izzy?

What? She's, yeah, she's...
I mean, it's not like...

A-ha!
Oh, hi. Yes. Simon.

All hail the mighty Fletcher.
Well, no.

Welcome to the madhouse. Yes.

Simon Harwood
is the BBC's Director
of Strategic Governance

and underneath it all
is probably one of

the corporation's
most strategic directors.

It's a good bike, by the way.
Yes, thanks.

Yeah, cool. So, yeah,
we're going to see Izzy.

Oh, no, that's okay.
No, but I have to
take him to Izzy.

Oh, no, that's fine.
I think Izzy was bringing
him to me anyway.

Oh. Okay.

That's great, Will.
I'll take it from here.
Yeah, cool. No worries.

So...
Yes.

What do you
think of it so far?
Good. Yes.

You know, early days,
but so far, so good.

Are you okay with
that like that?
Yes, no. That's fine.

I've got one.
They're brilliant,
aren't they?

Yes, no, they're great, yes.
So I'm looking forward

to getting started, you know,
and just generally...

No, I'm sorry. I can't.
That's just not.
I can't just...

Well, no, no, no.
I mean it's...

It's probably better
to start again.
Well, no, you...

Really, it's very easy.
It's just a knack.

Yes.

Let me just take that.
Thank you.

So, basically, it's just
the back wheels.
Forward and under.

Right, yes.
And then you've got your
front wheel. There you go.

It's out and round.
Yes. Round. Yes.

Just drop the saddle down.
Yes, exactly.

And there. Yes.

Brilliant, aren't they?
Yes, they are. Yes. Thanks.

Listen, once you've got
your bearings and everything,

be good to have a coffee.
Right, yes.

I mean, if you can be arsed.
No, absolutely.

Come and find me.
I'm just past Norman Wisdom
on the right.

Right. I'll just get
myself sorted out first.
Oh, yes. Sure.

Probably should find
my office and everything.

Yeah.

So, the question
we asked ourselves is,

how would it be
if things didn't have to be

the way we know
they actually are, yes?

What would a world look like
if it was different?

New Broadcasting House
was designed

and built virtually
from the ground upwards,

and there are regular
digital handshake sessions
for new staff.

Today's run by Senior
Technical Services
Choreographer, Adam Brady.

The whole point
about intuitive technology,

as opposed to intelligent
technology, which is basically

just lights going on
and off in toilets, yes?

The whole point about
intuitive technology,

being that it comes
pre-loaded into
the building itself, okay?

Welcome to your virtual PA.

One unified system
that changes the game,
integrates your world,

synchs you with everything
and everyone around you,

without you doing anything.

Synchs you to the BBC itself,

in real-time, wirelessly,
continuously and in real-time.

Eleven years in development,

guys and everyone,
I give you Syncopatico.

Fucking hell!

And of course the angle
they're going with is,

if Paxman
can fall asleep on air,

what's it like
for the viewers?

Yeah, of course they are.
And we're saying
he wasn't asleep?

No. We're saying he was
concentrating on the answer
he was being given.

Right, and who was
he interviewing again?
Alex Salmond.

Ah, okay. Yes.

I know, but that's
what we're saying, okay.

Right. Okay, good. All righty.

Meanwhile,
in Tommy Cooper,

the daily Senior Team
Damage Limitation Meeting,

chaired by Director
of Strategic Governance,
Simon Harwood,

is already underway.

Ah, right. Good.
Ah. Thank God.

Apologies, everybody.
The great man.

First of all, the meeting
wasn't in my Syncopatical,
for some reason.

No, no, of course.
And then when
Will came to find me,

we ended up on the wrong
floor. Didn't we, Will?
Yeah, totally, yes.

Yes. Anyway, many apologies.
No, no, no, come on in.

Actually, Will, would you
just take that for me?

Yeah. Sure, no worries.

Cool.

So, I mean, what...
No, just take it.

Okay. Cool. Thanks.

Brilliant. I don't know
whether you know everyone.

On the Damage Limitation Team,
Ian will be joining

Head of Output Anna Rampton,
recruited last year
from her role

as Head of Daytime Factuality
at ITV,

current Controller of News
and Current Affairs Neil Reid,

Senior BBC Communications
Officer Tracey Pritchard,

who as well as having been
with the corporation

for nearly 20 years
is also Welsh,

and two other people.

So we've had
The Independent

and then The Telegraph
has dug up his guy

from Mebyon Kernow
from somewhere.

Yes, I saw that.
From Cornwall, presumably.

Now, I'm not being funny
or anything,

but this guy is
in all probability
a total nutcase, okay?

But his thing is there aren't
enough Cornish
voices and faces

on the BBC and that
Cornish issues in general
are under-represented.

Yeah, bollocks. Brilliant.

Now, I don't know
what's going on
in the rest of his life,

but that's what
he goes around thinking.

Anyone? Any thoughts?
Two words. Rick Stein.

Okay, so what he's
saying about Rick Stein is,

he's saying we sent him off
round China or I don't know,

wherever we've actually
sent him now.
Is it China?

Uh... Yeah.
Okay, well, wherever.

India.
Oh, yes, India. Yes.

Anyway, his point is,
we should have
kept him in Cornwall,

where he belongs,
with his little dog

and his Land Rover
and whatever.

We gave China to
Caroline Quentin last year
at ITV, if you remember.

Oh, that's right, yes.
You so did.

Forgive me, but honestly,
what the fuck
are Cornish issues?

I'm sorry, guys. I'm not being
funny or anything,

but this is like finding
a spot on your whatsit. Brilliant.

Better to deal with it now

than ignore it
and see what happens.

I mean, I don't know.
Is this something
you'd want to be

across in terms
of values, Ian?

Yes. No, absolutely.
I'm just thinking...

'Cause if anything,
it's probably more
a values issue,

you know, rather than
anything else.

Yes, no, I mean,
yes, absolutely.
Good. Good.

So I should probably
just mention that to
Tony this afternoon.

Uh-huh.

Okay, great. Good-oh.
This is all going
terribly well.

With a gap
before his next meeting,
there's time at last for Ian

to explore some
of the possibilities offered

by the open plan
work environment
in New Broadcasting House.

No, I know exactly
what you mean.

Well, I mean, you say that

but the fact is,
a few years ago,
Alan Titchmarsh was voted

the world's second sexiest man
after George Clooney.

No. I'm not, really.
You can look it up.

Okay, look forward to
hearing from you, Annabelle.

Okay, bye. Bye.

Hi. Sorry, I don't want
to disturb you. I was just...

I wouldn't, if I were you. Right.

Oh, right.
They've been there
for four days.

Right.
I think he's in Drama.

Oh. Okay. Well...
Yes, he is. Drama. Yes.

Right, well, okay.
Well, thanks anyway.

Right.

You can use this one for
a while, if you're desperate.
Oh, well...

I shouldn't really.
I mean, are you sure?

I knew I wouldn't be able
to keep it up. Typical.

Oh, right. Well, thanks.
Thank you.

Sorry, I won't disturb
you any more.
That's okay.

But I have to ask... Sure.

...that thing about
Alan Titchmarsh...
Right, yes.

That's not
actually true, is it?

Yes.
No, it's not.

It is, yes.
But I mean...

What, you more
of a Clooney man?
What? No, well, but that's...

It was a survey.

Well, who the hell was voting?

I don't know.
Maybe it was out of two.

Producer Lucy Freeman has been
with the BBC for eight years,

and as such is both
an experienced producer
and still there.

Following an unforeseen
rationalisation within
her department,

she's recently been
invited to work on
the sorts of programmes

she never dreamed
she'd be invited to work on
when she originally joined.

I think we're
almost there with Alan now,
aren't we, David?

Yeah.
Which is good, obviously.

Lovely Alan.

Britain's Tastiest Village has
been theoretically devised by

Entertainment Format Producer
David Wilkes,

and is to be theoretically
hosted by the dream team

of Alan Titchmarsh
and Clare Balding.

It's been commissioned by
Head of Output Anna Rampton,

and she's asked David and Lucy
into her orbit for an update.

We've done the deal.

David?
Pretty much, yeah.

We haven't done the deal.
Yeah, pretty much.

I left a message
with his agents earlier.
All right. Cool.

The fact is we need
Alan locked in by now. Yes.

Yeah, no, it's fine.
It's like Alan's just totally
cool about everything.

Yes, but...
I think he's a lot happier
in his life now, basically.

Shit, can you tell Danny
I can't do Friday?
Sure. Yep.

Okay. What about Clare?

Right.
Lovely Clare.

Yes, so where are we up to
with Clare now, David?

Okay, so, with Clare,
it's just a bit more,
it's like...

A bit more what?
Okay, can I just say, okay,
this is so not our fault.

But there's bad news.

The dates of
How Big Is Your Dog?,
a major new ITV show,

to which Clare Balding
is already committed,

have changed at
the last minute,
due to genuinely bad luck.

So you're telling me what?

Well, basically,
we love Clare.

And I said to her
on the phone,
"If I had my way, Clare,

"you would
literally be Queen."

Mind you, she pretty much
already is and she was like,
"Oh, shut up."

Tuesday's gone away now,
right? Good. Okay.
Yep, gone.

You're telling me
we've lost Clare Balding.

Uh, well, we...

I mean, if what David's saying
is true,

and I'm hearing
it for the first time now,

then it does look
as if we might have
lost Clare, doesn't it?

Right.
I know. It's not words
you ever want to hear.

Apparently, okay, the most
common last word the pilots
say before they crash,

right, is "Shit".
Can he shut up?

Yes. Can you please
shut up, David?
Yes, all right.

Come on in. Excuse the mess. Thanks.

So there is such a thing
as an office, then?

No, sadly not. No door.

Well, it looks pretty
much like an office to me.

What it is, technically,
as an interactive space.

Right, is it?
If anyone's interested.

Right. Well, I suppose
we'd better do some
interacting quick then.

Absolutely.
Oh, well, have a seat,
if you can be bothered.

You know Ben and Jerry,
don't you?
The...

Hi.

I know. Real names.
What are the chances?

Director of Strategic Governance
Simon Harwood has invited Ian

into his interactive space
for an informal chinwag.

...just to get a sense of how
you wanted to play things

and what all our lives
are going to be like
in the Fletcher era.

Yes. Well, I mean,
with Way Ahead... Yep.

I've done some
thinking obviously.
Great. See?

A key part of Ian's
new role as Head of Values

is to establish a new
Way Ahead Task Force,

with a remit
to think big thoughts

and to clarify the purpose
of the BBC in a digital age.

I mean, I don't know whether
you had a chance to look

at the Pathfinding document.

The...
Ah, okay.
You haven't seen that.

Have we seen that?
Nope.

Apparently, I haven't
seen it. Sorry.

'Cause I did put it in
the "Shared Priorities" folder
in Syncopatico.

Oh, right. Okay.
At least I think I did.

You haven't got
anything on paper.
Paper?

Yep.
Oh, no, it's in
my personal folder,

so there must be a way of...

Oh, I tell you what
happens now. This is
where Izzy comes in.

She does something brilliant
and everything's lovely again. Okay.

With the renewal
of the BBC's Royal Charter
on which the future

of the corporation depends,
due in 2016,

finding an answer
to the question

"What Is the BBC For?"
before then could
potentially be important.

Thank you, Izzy.

You okay for coffee?
Yeah, fine, thanks.

Maybe later. Okay.

Right, good. So, no, yes,
it's obviously very much big
picture stuff at this stage...

Brilliant.

But as well
as thinking about
what the BBC is for,

it's clear that Simon is also
keen to think some
big thoughts about Cornwall.

So what I thought was...

No, brilliant. And when
it comes to this
bloody Trescott guy...

Right, okay. I mean,
that's a different, uh...

Yeah, what are
your thoughts on that?

What do you think
we should do?

Right. I suppose
my thinking is, with that,

sometimes it's a good idea

to reach out to these people,
rather than...

Brilliant.
...you know, to make them
feel they've been listened to

and they generally...
You think you
should meet him.

Yes, I mean...
Get him up from Cornwall
and get him in here.

Well, I mean, obviously
that's something I've...
God. That is amazing.

Have you been talking
to Tony about this?
Tony...

Tony. Director General guy.
Yes, no, of course.
No, I haven't, but in fact...

'Cause Tony is the king
of the personal approach,
isn't he?

Uh-huh.
Because one thing
I have been thinking,

it would be good to sit down
and have a coffee

with Tony myself
at some point.

Yes. Absolutely.
I mean, if that's possible.

No, I think that's
a great idea, Ian. Right.

No, we should definitely
think about that.
Mmm-hmm.

Carol, this is Anna Rampton,
Head of Output.

Yes. Hello. Hello.

And David Wilkes, Producer
and Format Originator.

Hi.
I know we haven't started
yet, but can I just say,

I never want
this lunch to end.

Meanwhile,
elsewhere, it's a different
day altogether

and somewhere in central
London, Anna Rampton,
David Wilkes and Lucy Freeman

are meeting
Carol Vorderman for salad.

I mean, I suppose basically,
in a nutshell, I suppose
you could say...

I mean, David, do you
want to talk about...
No, that's cool. Go for it.

Right, I suppose
you could say it's a sort of
Countryfile meets Bake Off.

Okay.

Yeah, with a bit of
The One Show thrown in,
just in case.

Absolutely, yes.
We're like, no one's ever
actually done this before.

No, I'm not...
I'm not surprised.

With Anna due
to formally announce Britain's
Tastiest Village next week,

they know that after
the unavoidable loss
of Clare Balding,

this is their chance
to save the show

and change the face
of Sunday evening television,
for either better or worse.

And then it's like,
well, which is better?

Your school kids'
sandwiches in Sandwich... Yes.

Or Alan's old people's
Eccles cakes in Eccles?
Yes.

But Sandwich is a town.
It isn't a village.

Yeah, but for us,
it's sort of a village.

Obviously... Thanks.

Obviously, David's
still finalising the details.
Yes, obviously.

But we just thought,
we know it's a long shot,

but this is
a big show for us.
No, I don't want this.

Oh. But... Okay.
I don't want it.

So, yes, so we just
found ourselves thinking,
"I wonder if there's any way

"in the world we might
be able to get
Carol Vorderman interested."

Yeah.
Okay.

You know, 'cause to have
Carol Vorderman on the BBC,

in prime-time, finally,
that would...

The fact is we'd love you
to do this show, Carol.

I mean, I'm not going
to let myself think
about it. I can't...

We also think it would be
really great for you.
Mmm, yes.

I mean, for me, it's like,
me, in a restaurant,
with Carol Vorderman.

I'm like, "Guys, please,
whatever happens,
it's enough. It's enough."

Nigel. Hi.

Meanwhile,
back in W1A,

Mebyon Kernow bigwig
and Cornish eminence grise

Nigel Trescott has arrived
at New Broadcasting House

in order to be
taken seriously.

You name me one Cornish
newsreader or presenter
or whatever...

In his time
with Mebyon Kernow,
Nigel has tasted defeat

in no less than seven separate
Cornish by-elections,

so if anyone knows what
he's talking about, it's him.

...hardly turn on your TV
nowadays without some bloody
Scottish person yacking on.

Yes.
Usually women.

If Ian's job
is to make him feel
he's being listened to,

the initial challenge
is to find somewhere
in the building

where fewer people
can hear him.

...big hairy Geordies. Yes.

You got gays in just
about every conceivable
position imaginable,

you don't know where to look.
Well, hang on a minute.

Ah, no, that's perfectly fine,
Ian, absolutely fine.

Well, I'm sorry,
I'm going to have to...

I got at least one son
who's a gay already,

and the other one
is thinking about it.

Well, I mean, just see
what happens in here.

Right, no, that...
That's something else.

First of all,
I'm not stupid, okay?
Yeah. Well, exactly.

I've been in the industry
a long time.

Obviously, yes.
Oh, yeah, ages.

Meanwhile,
in the restaurant
with Carol Vorderman,

things have now moved beyond
salad to the nitty-gritty
phase of the lunch.

Someone's dropped out,
haven't they?

I'm guessing
it's Clare Balding.

It usually is, at the moment.
Well, that's...

That's okay. But before
we go any further...

Right, yes.
Alan Titchmarsh...

Yes.
He's actually attached?

Well, he... It's...
Pretty much, yeah.

Well, though
I think what we...
I'm not drinking this coffee,

it's vile.

Is he attached or not?

Well, he... Yes, he is.
Yes. Basically.

He is?
Yes.

Pretty much. Yeah.

Right. Okay.

I have to tell you,
Alan's very excited
about working with you.

He's excited.
The two of you together.

I mean, hot.
It's downright dangerous.

Actually, could he shut up?

Yes, could you shut up,
please, David?
Absolutely. Yeah.

Yes.

I think the first thing
to say is, I'm so glad

you've taken the trouble
to come in to see us today.

No, you're not.
Don't be stupid.

Well, no...
I'm a pain in the ass,
I know I am.

Well, it's very much my arse
that... You know, I mean
you've come to the right...

I've come to the right ass?

Back at
New Broadcasting House,
Ian has finally taken up

a position
with Nigel Trescott.

The point is, it's absolutely
there for you to be a pain in.

Right, so how do
we go on from here?

Well, no, I hear
what you're saying, Nigel.

I'm going to make it
my business to get
on top of this.

Yeah, you say that...

And I'm going to
come back to you with
some sort of response.

Yeah, you did the Olympics,
didn't you?

Well, I wouldn't say
I personally...

How many Cornish athletes
in the Olympics?

That's a rhetorical question.

How many?
Sorry, I thought
it was a rhetorical...

Four. Yes.
Four. Right.

They all lost. Ah.

Every single one
of the buggers.

Right, well,
that wasn't really my area.

Ah, course it isn't.
Cornwall never
bloody is, is it?

8:00
on another morning.

Ian has now been in his new
job for nearly two weeks.

Morning.
Hi.

Forward with Fletcher, eh?
Yes. Hi.

With his honeymoon
period at last behind him,
today is a big day.

This morning sees
the first ever meeting of
the Way Ahead Task Force

with Ian in the chair.

Glad I caught you, actually.
Oh, right?

For what it's worth, I think
you've put together a really
rather wonderful team.

Well, I hope so.
And on that subject...

I usually go saddle next,
for what it's worth.
Yes, thank you.

On that subject, I was going
to forward you an e-mail from
Tony, but then I thought,

"No, sod it. It's good news.
I'll tell him myself."

Good news?
Rather fabulous
news, actually.

Right.
You going up, eventually?

Yes.
Good-oh.

No, I think we're announcing
it at lunch time or something

but we may have to
find one more chair
around the Way Ahead table,

if that's all right with you.

One more chair?
That's if we can find a room
with any chairs at all.

We should be so lucky.
I've booked Frankie Howerd.

Oh, brilliant. Brilliant
One more chair?

Yes.

Sixth floor.

So, basically, you know
what Tony's like?
Well, still no, actually.

He has these very clear ideas
and he acts on them.
Right, yes.

And his current thinking
is "Brand BBC".
Yes. Is it?

Yep, so his thinking is,
we've already got the guy

who did the London
Olympics. Tick. Right.

And London 2012 was about
the most successful brand
in the history of brands.

Where is this going?

So why don't we find out
who did that and
let's get them too? Tick.

I'm sorry, sorry, Simon,
so what are you
actually telling me?

Oh, we've already
got Fred Astaire.
What do you do?

You get Ginger Rogers.

No, but okay, here's the thing
with BBC Four, okay...
No, shut up.

The thing with BBC Four
is it's like a Marmite
channel, okay?

And the thing with Marmite
is it's like no one
eats that shit, okay?

No, Fran. Okay, don't care.
Shut up. Got to go.
Okay, okay.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Ian, Hey!

You know Siobhan,
of course.

This is going to be so fun.

Brilliant.

For Ian, the first
ever Way Ahead meeting
is a key opportunity

to consolidate whatever
authority he might have
in his new job

as well to think
some big thoughts.

Will, can you do
something for me?
Yeah, sure. Yeah, cool.

If you've got a minute,
would you be able to go down
and get me a cappuccino?

Cool, yeah.
You know, a proper one
from downstairs?

Yeah, no, a latte.
No, a cappuccino.

Okay, yeah.
And then if you could bring
it in to me in the meeting...

Right. What, so...
No, it's fine,
just, you know,

just knock and walk in.
That's all. You don't
need to say anything.

Okay.
Thanks, Will.
That'd be really great.

Just come in?
Yes.

Cool.
I'll settle up with you
afterwards, obviously.

Yeah, no worries. Great.

A cappuccino. Yes.

Okay, cool.

Well, first of all,
welcome, everybody,

and welcome to the first ever
Way Ahead Task Force Group.

Yay.
I suppose I could say,
really, welcome to the future.

Amen.

Guys, we are
so going to kill here.

Of the many meetings
he's been to in his first
two weeks at the BBC,

this is one where Ian
finally has the chance to put

the value of Values
literally on the agenda.

There's one word
that I want us to take
with us on the journey

and to set the term
for everything we do,
that word is confidence.

Confidence.
Brilliant.

Sure.
Christ.

There are going to
be challenges ahead,
of course there are,

but we are fortunate enough
to be sitting at the centre

of the greatest broadcasting organisation,

arguably one of the greatest
ideas in the world.

BBC, BBC...
Yes, exactly.

And... And as we embark
on this journey,

I feel it's a good time
to remind ourselves of that.

Fuck!
Okay, good.

And in the spirit of...

And in the spirit of
thinking big thoughts,

I just wanted to outline

in broad strokes what
I think are some of the...

Ah. Okay.
Yes, just some of the key...

Ah, righty-ho.
Right, some of the...

Sorry, Ian.
We've got to do this. Right.

Brilliant.
Okay, here we go.

BBC's nightly
regional news programme,
Spotlight South West,

since the mid '90s,
but despite repeated attempts,

Sally Wingate has never
made the step up
to national bulletins.

I'll be back on
Monday with Nick,

and hopefully more on how
those badgers are getting on.

Now she says she
believes that could be down
to the corporation's

institutional anti-West Country bias.

What?
Bollocks.

I mean, nothing's ever said
but it's almost as if
the accent alone is enough,

which when you think about it
is doubly unfair because

I've never had a West Country
accent and I'm not
actually from Cornwall.

So do you feel you've
been discriminated against?

Yes. I suppose
I do feel that. Yes.

Mebyon Kernow's
Nigel Trescott
says there's nothing

about Sally Wingate's story
that surprises him.

There's nothing wrong
with being Cornish. It's not
something to be ashamed of.

Oh, right. Here we go.
Alistair, what the fuck?

...there's nothing wrong
being a woman either.

Fact is, if you're a woman,
from Cornwall,

and you work for the BBC...

Yeah, okay.
Thank you. Shut up.

...you might as well pack up
and go home.

No, bollocks, Alistair.
I'm coming down. Right.

This is our own.
This is the BBC News Channel,
for fuck's sake.

Not Kamikaze fucking Corner.

Right. Okay. Bummer.

So, that's happened. Brilliant.

Hi, Will.
Oh, yeah, hey, yeah.

You okay?
Yeah, cool. So, yeah...

I'm just going down to that
cafe on the ground floor. Okay.

I was thinking,
if you wanted anything...
Oh, right.

I'm going to get
Ian Fletcher a cappuccino.

No, I don't think so,
really. No.

Okay.
I'm good, thank you.

Okay, cool.
But thank you.

Yeah, no worries. Cool.

Actually, do you know what?
Yeah, hi.

I will have a skinny latte.
Cool. Yeah. Cappuccino.

No, a latte.
Yeah, cool, yeah.

If you're sure.
Yeah, cool. Yeah. A latte.
Yeah, cool.

So, guys,
so here's the thing with this.

So what you're looking
at here is a major
brand message dropout.

What?
Yes, okay. Thanks, Siobhan.

No, all I'm just saying
is you don't triage
this thing now,

you're so going to be
up to your ass
in alligators here.

Yes, thank you.

Meanwhile,
back in Frankie Howerd,

such is the gravity of the
situation that they've now
been joined by Head of Output

Anna Rampton, which
means things have got
very serious indeed.

There's already been an e-mail
from BBC Director
General Lord Tony Hall

asking for clarification
on the corporation's handling
of the Sally Wingate issue.

What we need here
is a strategy.
Yes, exactly, yes.

Brilliant. So, Ian,
what's your thinking?

Well...
Where's your gut on this?

I mean, with strategy,
I suppose I'm mindful that

that's actually
your area, Simon.

Oh, now, pish.
Don't want to
tread on anyone's...

No, nonsense.
Tell us what to do.

I mean, Anna, obviously,
Programmes isn't my area.

No.
Will, yes. So forgive me,

I just want to put this
out there for discussion. Yes.

Yes, Will, it's fine. Come in.

Thanks, Will. That's great.

It's cappuccino.
Yes, great.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Thanks.

No, it's cool. Crap.

Great, so, yes.
No, Anna, I was just thinking,
is there something

we might be able to
find for Sally Wingate
that might actually...

Right, yes. Good.
Flog It!

No.
Snog Marry Avoid?

Well, yes, or...
I so love that show.

Yes, or I don't know,
some sort of Bake Off...

Yes, good, very strong. Springwatch.

Well, now... Good.

Badgers in Cornwall.
There's all your problems
solved in one go.

Okay, okay, okay, Loose Women.

Yes, so that's an ITV show. Perfect.

I mean, Anna, might it be
worth thinking about
Britain's Tastiest Village?

No. I'm sorry.
Now you're talking.

Well, I just mean,
if it's a new show we've got
coming through anyway...

The fact is, Village is
appointment-to-view
television.

But I mean, might it be worth
considering for a moment?
No.

No, okay, right.
No, it's not.

Okay, so we can be confident
about that and take that

straight off the list
of possible solutions
to worry about.

Yes.
So that's all good.

Cool.
And so we move on.

Brilliant.

Okay, so...
Now back to preferences.

Okay.

Uh, no, preferences.

Oh, okay.

Keyboard.

Yep.

Uh, shortcuts. Yeah.

Now, services. Right.

And there you go,
capture full screen.

Cool.
Yeah, and you can just
assign whatever you like.

Oh, right. No, okay, I see.

That is so neat.

Yeah.

I mean, this is
such bad luck for you,
this, honestly.

Well, I mean... For me?

You must be thinking,
"I've barely got my feet
under my desk."

I mean, I haven't got a desk
to put any feet under yet.

No, I know. Yes, brilliant!
Outrageous.

But broadcasting
is a world lived in real-time.

And whatever that means,
by the end of the day,

events have already been
overtaken by other events.

Yes, right, 'cause I'm not
being funny or anything,

but it's genocide
in the Press Office
and not in a good way.

There's now
been an e-mail from
Lord Chris Patten,

Chair of the BBC Trust,
asking for an urgent response

to Director General
Lord Tony Hall's
earlier e-mail

seeking clarification
on the BBC's treatment
of Sally Wingate.

And she's come up with this
frankly rather brilliant idea.

I don't know about brilliant,
but I don't mind saying
I'm quite pleased with it.

Hold on to your hat.
Woman's Hour.

Woman's Hour?
I know.

Right.
It's joyous.

I've got you on tomorrow,
with Jenni Murray.
Got me on?

Tony actually sent me
a smiley face.
Did he?

'Cause when you think
about this, it is actually
the perfect forum.

Yes, now, hang on.
Wait a minute...

I took a bit of
a flier with it.
Well, yes.

I know Helen, the producer.
I know some people find
her a bit frightening,

but I personally don't take
any nonsense from her

and I can't speak for her, obviously,

but I think
she respects me for that. Brilliant.

What about
asking me though?
Asking you?

Yes.
No, they don't need to, Ian.

I said yes on your behalf.
Right. I see.

I hope that's all right.
Yes. No, that's fine.

But what am I actually saying?

Right, yes. Very good.

I'm not being
funny or anything, Ian,
but this is serious.

I know it is.
We're dealing with
what's in front of us.

This is in front of me.
We are in emergency
mode here.

I've got you Jenni Murray.

You'll have time to think
about what you want to
say on the train up

and I'll be there
to help with that.
The train up where?

All you need to do right now
is decide whether you want
to go up tonight,

or catch the early
train in the morning.

Manchester?
No, bad luck.

Ian, welcome to Woman's Hour.

It's very good to be here,
Jenni. Thank you.

So I'm standing there
and I'm getting, like, a text

and I look down
and it's, like, Clare Balding.

So, that's Dame
Clare Balding, okay.

Carol's in this morning.
I know. It's a nightmare.

I'm sorry, Siobhan,
you can't do this.
De nada.

No, do you know what? I don't
want a bloody coffee, thanks.

No, she doesn't want that. No.

Enjoy the, you know,
enjoy your water.

I'm not being
funny or anything,
but I think we might have

a bit of a situation
on our hands here.