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1
00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:03,742
- Previously on Awkward...
2
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,135
- You'’re, like,
the ultimate townie.
3
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,354
- Lesley Ann Miller,
will you marry me?
4
00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,355
- Yes!
5
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,704
You dropped out of school.
6
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,011
If you want to be
a Palos Hills mom,
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00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,925
this is what it takes.
8
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,231
- Okay.
[baby crying]
9
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,972
- Matty, thanks again,
for everything.
10
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,282
- It was
a sweet Saturday morning
11
00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:23,066
with my adorable boyfriend.
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00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,894
I should have been loving it,
but I had to admit
13
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:27,505
that ever since
Matty and I babysat Morgan,
14
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,724
I'’d been a little...
15
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,160
distracted.
16
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,075
- Do I want
such a heavy course load?
17
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,511
- Like right now.
18
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,252
Why was Matty
holding my baby sister
19
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,906
in Luke'’s living room?
20
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,169
Oh, my God. Did this mean
I wanted a baby?
21
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,215
That'’s insane.
I'’m 19.
22
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,478
It'’s probably just PMS.
23
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,175
Oh, my God.
It was worse.
24
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,742
I didn'’t want a baby.
25
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:48,439
I wanted a M--
- Matty?
26
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,050
- What did you say?
27
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,616
- I said,
"You'’re not very chatty."
28
00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:52,661
What are you thinking?
29
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,141
- What was I thinking?
30
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,403
I already had a great guy.
31
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,882
Jeopardizing that for Matty
32
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,275
was something
I would have done--
33
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,235
okay--had done
in the past.
34
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:03,150
But Luke was a guy
I wanted to be with
35
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,977
for the foreseeable future,
36
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:08,068
a guy to whom I could seriously
see myself saying--
37
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,852
Let'’s move in together.
38
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,723
I said that last part
out loud, huh?
39
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:15,466
[keys clacking, loud thud]
40
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,860
- I'’m sorry.
41
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,688
Did you just
invite yourself
42
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,907
to move in
to my studio apartment?
43
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,257
- I can'’t believe
I just said that.
44
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,780
- Because I [bleep] love
that idea.
45
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,347
- Really?
You'’re not freaked out?
46
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:27,348
- It'’s not like we'’re
moving in together
47
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,045
moving in together.
48
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,742
It'’s just for a few weeks
until you go back to Wyckoff.
49
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:33,876
And, honestly, I want to spend
as much time as possible
50
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,312
with you until then.
51
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:36,966
- [giggles]
52
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,663
- Here'’s my only question--
do you think your parents
53
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:40,143
will be cool with it?
54
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,927
- It'’ll take a little bit
of coaxing,
55
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,147
but if I make my case, maybe.
56
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:46,454
- Well, you work on them,
and I'’ll work on making
57
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,760
this place a little more...
58
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,806
girl friendly.
59
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:54,375
- Okay, let me paint you
a picture with my words.
60
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,986
You, this dress,
brunch at Bagatelle,
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00:01:56,986 --> 00:02:00,120
shopping in Soho,
vodka at Pravda.
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00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:00,859
- Done and done-er.
63
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,383
[cell phone chimes]
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00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,993
- Does this say more
"off-duty model
65
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,343
on Leonardo DiCaprio'’s yacht"
or "'’Bachelor'’ contestant
66
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,779
at a rose ceremony"?
67
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:09,216
- Will you accept this "no"?
68
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,000
[cell phone chimes]
69
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,263
I should take this.
It'’s probably Patrick.
70
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:15,309
Sometimes he calls
from an international number--
71
00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:17,049
so hot.
72
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:19,269
- Miss Kaplan, this is Pam
from Visa.
73
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:22,751
- Oh, P!
How are you, sweetie?
74
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,100
- Miss Kaplan,
you haven'’t made a payment
75
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,319
on your balance,
and we'’re going to
76
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,320
have to stop--
77
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,408
- No, you stop!
78
00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:28,974
I miss you.
79
00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:31,499
- Miss Kaplan,
this is your final notice--
80
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:34,154
- Oh, my God,
you are so bad!
81
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,503
- Yes, this is a bad--
82
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,679
- Got to go!
Ta-ta, my love.
83
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,420
- You and Patrick
are gross.
84
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,073
- I know.
85
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,814
You know what else is gross?
86
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:47,515
This dress is way more Midtown
than Meatpacking.
87
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,169
- Supplicant squats!
88
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:53,173
Feel the burn of your sin
melting away.
89
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,958
Praise the Lord!
90
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,786
Genuflect.
91
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,004
Kick the Devil away.
92
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,876
Um...
93
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:06,142
Okay, everyone
go to the pool
94
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,883
for your biceptismals.
95
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,625
Wash away your sin.
Melt away your fat. Yay!
96
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,844
[cheers and applause]
97
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,411
Jakey.
98
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,458
Why are you sad?
- No reason.
99
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,895
- Jake, we'’ve dated, twice.
100
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,679
I think I know
your pouty face.
101
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,028
- I just read
Ophelia'’s interview
102
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,595
with me on Idea Bin.
103
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,336
- Ophelia?
That "slunty" [bleep]?
104
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,816
- This is why
I didn'’t want to say anything.
105
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,339
You get insane
when you'’re mad.
106
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:32,037
The article'’s
not even that bad.
107
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,388
She said I seem happy.
- That'’s not so bad.
108
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,651
- She didn'’t make it sound
like I'’m genuinely happy,
109
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,697
more like I'’m happy
because I'’m too dumb
110
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,438
to know better.
111
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:44,398
I just feel
like a dumb townie.
112
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,443
- And you said
she works at Idea Bin?
113
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,315
- Lissa,
don'’t do anything crazy.
114
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,664
- [scoffs]Jakey...
115
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,970
[giggles]
I'’m very sensible.
116
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,625
Have a great day.
117
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:57,237
- So what do you guys think?
118
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,934
I knew it would be hard
to convince my parents
119
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,284
to let me move in with Luke,
but I was praying
120
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,634
they'’d say yes,
eventually, at least.
121
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,810
- Jenna...
122
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,291
this is such great news!
123
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,727
- For real?
- Yes!
124
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:12,121
This is going to make everything
so much simpler.
125
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,645
- This house
is way too full right now.
126
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:17,039
- There will be one fewer person
showering here every day.
127
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,737
- I think
this deserves a toast.
128
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:22,000
- I could have been offended
at how excited my parents were
129
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,872
to get me out of the house,
130
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,004
but I chose instead to focus
on the fact
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00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,268
that I was totally getting away
with something.
132
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,530
- To...
133
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,314
Jenna and Luke.
- Hello?
134
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,098
[glasses clink]
135
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,535
- Ooh, sorry.
I knocked, but I didn'’t--
136
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,927
I didn'’t think anybody heard.
137
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,320
- Oh, I forgot
you were coming over
138
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,191
to practice
our German presentation!
139
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,150
- Keine Sorge.
"No worries" in German.
140
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,978
So what
are you guys celebrating?
141
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:46,286
- I am moving in with Luke
for the rest of the summer.
142
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,026
- That'’s a big step.
Congrats.
143
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,289
God, you guys are so cool.
144
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,942
That would never fly
with my parents.
145
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:52,814
- Oh, I don'’t know
that we'’re cool.
146
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,816
It just makes sense.
147
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:57,297
JK. We'’re so cool.
148
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,342
- In the past,
I would have been spinning out
149
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,996
about Matty not caring
about my cohabitation,
150
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,389
but now that Luke and I
had taken things
151
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,086
to the next level,
152
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,914
I didn'’t care
that he didn'’t care.
153
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:08,177
My brief blip
of hormonal hallucinations
154
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,048
this morning
were just that--
155
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,049
a blip.
156
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:13,008
- [giggles]
Patty cakes,
157
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,445
I can'’t wait until we'’re back
in New York together either.
158
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,881
- Tamara Judith Kaplan!
159
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:18,100
- Babe, got to run.
160
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,232
[door opens]
161
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,322
- Do you know
why I'’m so angry?
162
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,540
- The change of life?
163
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,150
I'’m just being real.
164
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,022
You'’ve had the A/C
cranked way up all summer.
165
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:29,546
- No, Tamara.
It'’s not menopause.
166
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,156
Do you know
that you have run up
167
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,941
$12,000 in debt?
168
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,203
- I had an inkling.
169
00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:36,814
- Because I cosigned
for that first card,
170
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,468
my credit is affected.
171
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,557
- I'’m sorry. I didn'’t--
- Oh, you save it.
172
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:43,473
- If you don'’t have a plan--
a concrete plan--
173
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:46,520
to get this debt taken care of
by the end of the summer,
174
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,086
you'’re not going back
to NYU.
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00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,001
- ♪ Hey
176
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,481
♪ Hey
177
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,178
♪
178
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:02,013
- ♪ By the pond
when we first kissed ♪
179
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,668
♪ I think my heart
just skipped a beat ♪
180
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:07,932
♪ The old familiar path
we took ♪
181
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:11,196
♪ The broken swings
where we would meet ♪
182
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:15,679
♪ I look around,
it all feels new ♪
183
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:18,160
♪ I always think of you
184
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,118
- ♪ Ah
185
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,381
- ♪ I think of you
186
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,600
- ♪ Ah
187
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,516
- ♪ Whoo-hoo
- ♪ Ah
188
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,953
- Okay, I'’ll go in first.
189
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,564
You should probably give it
two minutes.
190
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,130
- Do we really
have to keep doing this?
191
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,610
I mean,
we live together now.
192
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,220
- I thought this was
what you wanted,
193
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,048
so you'’d be taken seriously
around here--
194
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,311
you know, not be the fellow
who slept with the guy
195
00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,008
who recommended her.
196
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:42,097
- Okay.
197
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,664
- Jenna!
198
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,318
- Lissa.
What are you doing here?
199
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,016
- Great to see you.
200
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,974
I have some
important business inside.
201
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,628
Can you let me in?
202
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:58,505
- ♪ Sir, can I help?
Would you like another pint? ♪
203
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:02,247
♪ Of course I'’m okay,
it'’s my job to be all right ♪
204
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,945
- Lissa?
Are you looking for Jenna?
205
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,860
'’Cause I--I don'’t think
she'’s here yet.
206
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,252
- Oh, I know.
She'’s right outside the door.
207
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,993
I'’m looking for Ophelia.
208
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,908
- ♪ Just to witness
your cirrhosis ♪
209
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:14,608
♪ I just do my very best
to keep it all together ♪
210
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:15,913
- Hi.
I'’m Lissa.
211
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,525
And you'’ve made me
very angry.
212
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,614
- Who are you?
Is this a dream?
213
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,529
- No, it'’s
your worst nightmare.
214
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,574
You need
to "atonercise,"
215
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,402
and not just because
you need to atone.
216
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,578
You'’re a real big B-word
for sleeping with my friend
217
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,058
and then being rude to him.
218
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:32,800
- This is about Jake?
- Of course it is.
219
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,018
How many other sad,
ambitionless townies
220
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,629
have you slept with
this month?
221
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,369
- Hey, I never used those words
about Jake.
222
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,762
That was all you.
223
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,155
- I'’m allowed
to say those things.
224
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,462
I'’m Jake'’s friend
and ex-girlfriend.
225
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,202
- Why did you break up?
226
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,423
- Well, first he dumped me
for Jenna.
227
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,773
- That is shocking.
- I know, right?
228
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,209
But more recently,
I broke up with him because
229
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,124
he couldn'’t provide me with
the Palos Hills mom lifestyle.
230
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,691
- For real?
231
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,345
- It'’s what
I'’ve always wanted.
232
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,565
Well, until my mommy got engaged
to a toilet seat cover man
233
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,480
who'’s fat and has a pager,
234
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,656
and his son has a VIP membership
at Lucky Chuck'’s Pong and Pucks,
235
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:03,700
and I don'’t want that!
236
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,397
- Okay, it'’s okay.
237
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,399
I'’ve got something for you.
238
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,840
You do not need a "P"
to be a Palos Hills mom.
239
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,670
You can be
your own rich husband.
240
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:20,238
- ♪ I want to waste
my day today ♪
241
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:22,414
- Eine Bratwurst.
242
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:24,547
- Eine Bratwurst!
243
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,854
Dude, you are killing it.
244
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,029
In fact,
I think we'’re gonna need
245
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,596
to make the studying
a little harder.
246
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,945
I'’m getting bored as [bleep].
247
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,294
- [German accent]
Uh, what'’s that for?
248
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,948
- Let'’s take a study spike.
249
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,602
This is the only thing
that got me through finals,
250
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,778
and I got
a 4.0 this semester.
251
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,170
- [normal voice]
All right, hit me.
252
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,564
- That'’s my boo!
253
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,653
Warum so viele Wuerste?
254
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:47,004
- Ich habe ein Wurstfest.
255
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,092
- Nailed it!
256
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:50,617
- Ugh.
257
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,053
- Now that Luke and I were back
258
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:54,403
in our cocoon
of domestic bliss,
259
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,666
having to keep us a secret
at work didn'’t seem so serious.
260
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,189
This was our real life,
261
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,757
and real life
was pretty damn good.
262
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,586
- Babe, that sauce
smells amazing.
263
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,284
- Babe, I can'’t wait
to try your salad.
264
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,246
I can'’t believe
we'’re going to be back at school
265
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:12,813
in a few weeks.
266
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,162
Hey, have you bought
your ticket?
267
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,120
I was thinking maybe we could
fly back east together.
268
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,948
I have to stop
through New York anyway.
269
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:21,386
- Why worry about that
when I come bearing
270
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,084
a housewarming gift?
271
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,999
I know you'’ve always liked
the scent,
272
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,653
and it'’s been
a slow few weeks.
273
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,264
- Oh, T.
I love it.
274
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,483
Babe, look, it'’s our first gift
as a couple.
275
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,529
- That is so sweet.
276
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,009
Babe, did you get the onions?
277
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,314
- Babe, I forgot
to get the onions.
278
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,620
I'’m so sorry.
279
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,361
- Babe, don'’t even worry
about it.
280
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,102
It'’s just another dollar
we can put in the fun budget.
281
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,886
- I'’m sorry, T.
What did you want to talk about?
282
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,235
Something about your mom?
283
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,455
- I don'’t even remember
what it was.
284
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:48,805
Brain fart-y of one
over here.
285
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:51,982
I actually have to go,
but enjoy the candle.
286
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,244
Bye.
287
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,811
- Mmm.
288
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,944
[beep]
- Matty, hi, again.
289
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,772
Entschuldigung
for all the messages,
290
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,165
but where the hell are you?
291
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,254
Frau Hoetzinger'’s letting us
go last, but...
292
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,778
[class applauds]
293
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:07,041
- Last is right now, Matty.
294
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,130
If you get here
and you see me speaking German,
295
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:12,133
for God'’s sake,
hop right in!
296
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,136
[upbeat music]
297
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,313
♪
298
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:21,969
- ♪ Maybe I found
299
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,231
- Now that I was living
with Luke,
300
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:25,625
the days at Idea Bin
dragged endlessly.
301
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,235
I just wanted them
to be over
302
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:30,238
so I could get back
to our blissful nights.
303
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,848
So I have been researching
304
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:34,155
rotisserie-chicken recipesall day
305
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,548
and thought maybe we could
do that, a little wine...
306
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,246
- I have plans with Lizzy.
307
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,682
She wants me to come with her
to this book party.
308
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,075
- As her date?
309
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,598
- Of course not.
I'’m just her plus-one.
310
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:44,165
- So I can'’t come.
311
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,167
- I wish,
but it'’s not a plus-two, babe.
312
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,256
Besides, if you were there,
our cover would be blown,
313
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:50,650
because I wouldn'’t be able
to keep my hands off you.
314
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,607
- How am I supposed
to get home?
315
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,478
- Luke, are you ready?
316
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,698
I want to get there early enough
to really maximize
317
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,221
that open bar.
318
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,223
- Good to go.
319
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:00,747
[mouths words]
320
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,096
- Moving in with Luke
321
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,315
was supposed to be
an adult move.
322
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:07,928
But suddenly, it was feeling
like the wrong move.
323
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,674
- "The service on this flight
was outrageous.
324
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,980
"No blankets
and no ice?
325
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:20,549
"I was too cold,
and my drink was too warm.
326
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,985
"I expect a voucher
327
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:25,423
for at least three to five
free flights."
328
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,729
[knock at door]
329
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,252
Ally, stop interrupting me
330
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,819
while I'’m writing
my complaint letters!
331
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,473
You know this is my Zen time.
332
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:32,648
- It'’s me.
333
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,389
- Ew.
You look like [bleep].
334
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,173
- That'’s because
I'’m in deep [bleep].
335
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,741
I'’m in $12,000 worth
of credit card debt,
336
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,177
and my mom won'’t let me
go back to NYU
337
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,309
until I deal with it.
338
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,964
- That sucks.
339
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,922
- That'’s all you have to say?
340
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,663
Sadie, this is kind of
your fault.
341
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,578
- Did you just say
this was my fault?
342
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,014
- I didn'’t even have
a credit card
343
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,407
until you showed me
how to get one.
344
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,800
- Listen, you go to NYU,
345
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,453
which implies you'’re not
a total idiot.
346
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,194
I assumed that I didn'’t have
to explain to you
347
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,935
that you actually have
to pay your bills.
348
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:01,111
- I thought I could pay them
after I graduate.
349
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,678
How am I supposed
to pay them now?
350
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,462
I'’m a poor student
living in the dorms.
351
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,203
- Get a job?
352
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:08,336
I worked 15 hours a week
in the Columbia dining hall.
353
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,991
That, on top of my scholarship,
and the money I get
354
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,080
from my guilt-ridden "slunt"
of a mother got me through.
355
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,690
- I got a job this summer,
356
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:18,563
and I spent a bunch of money
I made on your birthday.
357
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:19,782
- Get another job.
358
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,958
- Sadie, I am desperado.
359
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,830
I need you to loan me
some money.
360
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,440
- No.
- I can pay you back.
361
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,833
- Demonstrably untrue.
362
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:27,877
No.
363
00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:29,444
- Sadie, I'’m your friend.
364
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,924
- You'’re not a charity.
365
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,447
Figure something out.
366
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:33,970
- You know what?
367
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:36,407
I don'’t even know
why I expected you to help me.
368
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,975
You are the same rude ass[bleep]
you were in high school.
369
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,847
- And you'’re the same
annoying dumbass
370
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,501
under all those desperate
designer ensembles.
371
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,766
News flash, Tamara--
you'’re not fooling anyone.
372
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,811
- [bleep] you, Sadie.
373
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,379
[door slams]
374
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,990
- The long bus ride home
gave me time to think.
375
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:56,166
In the past, I would have
totally overreacted
376
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,907
to Luke'’s night
with Lizzy,
377
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,822
but being in our home
reminded me
378
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,258
how committed we were.
379
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,347
My mood was nothing
a bowl of ice cream
380
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:04,696
couldn'’t take care of.
381
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,524
Rocky road, take me away.
382
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:13,314
Okay, it'’s nothing a hot shower
couldn'’t fix.
383
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:16,317
[upbeat music]
384
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:22,497
♪
385
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,498
Ugh.
386
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,760
Mm-mm.
387
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,763
[solemn music]
388
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:30,505
♪
389
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:31,723
- [bleep].
390
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:37,207
♪
391
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:39,340
Hi.
This is Tamara Kaplan.
392
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,996
I'’m calling you back
about your offer.
393
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:46,303
How much did you say
you'’re willing to pay me?
394
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:49,916
And that'’s for one night
or the whole weekend?
395
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,396
Okay.
What hotel?
396
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,008
What should I wear?
397
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,705
No, it'’s fine.
398
00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:59,969
You'’re paying me.
I'’ll do whatever you want.
399
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:04,060
♪
400
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,240
- I want to teach Atonercise
at the club.
401
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,634
- Cool. You realize you'’ve been
doing that all summer, right?
402
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:15,332
- Yes, but before,
I was doing it for Jesus,
403
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,900
and now I'’m doing it for Jesus
and myself,
404
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,598
and that means I want signage,
I want more classes,
405
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:23,514
and I want to be paid
equally to that of a man.
406
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,212
- We don'’t have any
male Atonercise teachers,
407
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,692
but okay.
408
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,651
- You'’re officially put
on notice, Jake Rosati.
409
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,654
- What are you doing?
- I'’m leaning in!
410
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,699
[giggles]
411
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,661
- [sighs]
412
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,184
You didn'’t have to wait up.
413
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,230
I had no idea this thing
was gonna run this late.
414
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:45,841
[cell phone chimes, vibrates]
- Mm.
415
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,625
What'’s that?
- It'’s a picture from tonight.
416
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,931
Lizzy sent it to me.
417
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,541
- How was the party?
418
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,848
What did you and Lizzy talk
about--how we'’re not dating?
419
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,763
- What'’s this about?
420
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,634
And why are you reading the
Farmer Carl'’s Grocery Gazette?
421
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,332
- There are a lot of good deals
on cookie batter in here,
422
00:14:58,332 --> 00:14:59,942
but what this is about
423
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,727
is that you just leave
your towels on the floor.
424
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,207
- What?
425
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,992
- Okay...
426
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,863
it'’s about the fact that
you went on a date with Lizzy.
427
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,734
But seriously,
who only has one towel
428
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,127
and just leaves it
on the floor?
429
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,694
- Told you, it'’s not a date.
430
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,261
- If a girl sends you cute pics
after your night out,
431
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,262
then it'’s a date.
432
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,872
- Take a look.
433
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,961
We make a pretty cute couple,
don'’t you think?
434
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,180
That'’s one of the authorsI met.
435
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,572
Lizzy introduced us.
436
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,792
You happy now?
437
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,489
- No...
438
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:28,188
but you shouldn'’t leave
empty ice cream containers
439
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,841
in the freezer.
440
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:32,279
- Lizzy'’s my boss,
and when your boss asks you
441
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,194
to go to a networking party,you go.
442
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,544
If Lizzy was a man,
you wouldn'’t care.
443
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,154
- That'’s fair.
444
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,722
- And by the way,
I was a little nervous to go.
445
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,290
You don'’t seem to realize this,
but I wasn'’t offered the e-book.
446
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,682
And I'’ve been there
longer than you,
447
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,206
and I want a job at Idea Bin
when I graduate,
448
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,816
and if that means hanging out
with Lizzy,
449
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,297
then, yeah,
that'’s what I'’m gonna do.
450
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:52,734
- What Luke was saying
made me feel guilty.
451
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:55,389
Here he was, laying
his vulnerability on the line.
452
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:58,305
I owed it to him
to do the same.
453
00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,568
I'’m sorry
for being paranoid.
454
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:02,265
I guess I just...
455
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,312
felt like it was a date
because we'’re a secret,
456
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,705
and...
457
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:11,405
it brought me back
to a bad time in my life.
458
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,365
- Okay.
459
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:18,107
I totally get it,
and I'’m sorry.
460
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,370
But, Jenna, I promise,
I'’m not Matty.
461
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,242
- Luke was right.
462
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:25,201
Matty had kept me a secret
to protect his own reputation.
463
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,334
Luke was only trying
to protect me.
464
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,989
It was totally different,
and I loved him for that.
465
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,642
Oh, my God,
I loved Luke,
466
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,035
and thank God
I didn'’t blurt that out
467
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,081
like the moving-in thing.
468
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:38,388
- I never want to make you feel
like I'’m hiding you, because...
469
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:41,652
'’cause I love you.
470
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,872
- I love you too.
471
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,312
- This as been hard
for me too.
472
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,053
Your name came up
a lot tonight.
473
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,968
Lizzy likes your writing.
She thinks you'’re ballsy.
474
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:54,535
And it'’s been torture
not to say,
475
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:58,017
"I know. That hot, ballsy writer
is my girlfriend."
476
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,020
But I want the world,
including Lizzy,
477
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,499
to know I love you.
478
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,763
[chuckles]
479
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,896
[knock at door]
480
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,207
- Oh, guten Abend,jerk.
481
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:17,036
- Lacey, I am so sorry
about the presentation.
482
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,212
My night with Sully
got a little out of hand.
483
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,648
I honestly did practice.
484
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,389
Come on,
I thought we were friends.
485
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,260
- Friends don'’t ruin friends'’
chances of getting an A.
486
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,957
What happened?
487
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:29,048
- Sully thought of this
drinking game for studying,
488
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,050
and the next thing I knew,
489
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,226
I woke up, and I missed it.
490
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:34,662
- Time for some real talk.
491
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:38,622
Sully sounds like
a whole lot of fun.
492
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,755
You know,
she actually reminds me
493
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:43,845
of a friend I had who helped
an ex study for the LSATs,
494
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:46,413
except he didn'’t wind up going
to law school.
495
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,371
He went to rehab,
496
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,373
and you know who
that friend was?
497
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,028
Ally.
498
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:57,206
I love her to death,
but she is bad news,
499
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:59,034
and so is Sully.
500
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,298
I'’ll see you in class.
501
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:05,127
- I was so excited
that Luke said he loved me
502
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,130
that I decided to make
my own grand gesture.
503
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,045
I had proven myself
at Idea Bin,
504
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:12,830
and neither of us wanted
to hide the truth anymore.
505
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,182
And lucky me, I knew
just how to spread the word.
506
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,322
[tapping on glass]
507
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,240
- Sorry I'’m late.
508
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,112
I needed to prepare
for the marathon
509
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,374
that is about to happen,
510
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,245
and you'’re participating too.
511
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,508
Two bottomless mimosas, please.
512
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,119
Oh, the best part
about a mimosa-thon
513
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,294
is you can'’t lose.
514
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,686
Plus, you get
to drink your medal.
515
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,602
- I-I'’m fine with coffee.Thanks.
516
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,300
- If you drink
too much caffeine plus booze,
517
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,475
you'’ll pee all day, dude.
518
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:51,086
- I'’m not gonna have any booze.
519
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,479
Sully, we need to talk.
520
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,220
- Can we wait
until I get a breakfast burrito
521
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,786
up in this bish?
522
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,788
You know I can'’t do anything
on an empty stomach.
523
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,834
- I think we need to go
our separate ways.
524
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,879
I can'’t tell you how much
you mean to me.
525
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,620
I mean, you are the one
who picked me up
526
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,535
and helped me through
a dark time this year.
527
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,146
- You want to break up?
528
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,625
- You'’ve been amazing.
529
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,801
It'’s just--
I-I don'’t know.
530
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,629
Maybe, uh...
531
00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:15,023
maybe it'’s time to move on.
532
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:16,894
- That'’s cool.
533
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:19,027
- Uh, what?
534
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,247
- Dude, if that'’s what you want,
I think we should too.
535
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,988
You'’re definitely paying
for the mimosas, though.
536
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,252
- Um, I'’m sorry.
537
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,993
This is not how my breakups
usually go.
538
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:30,778
You'’re cool?
539
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,171
- Yeah, dude.
540
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,303
It'’s not that deep.
541
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,871
Hey, you'’re okay,
though, right?
542
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,916
- Yeah.
543
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,180
Thanks for checking.
544
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,834
- Of course.
[laughs]
545
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,488
Do you want some?
546
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,881
- I had learned
from my mistake.
547
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,100
The key
to a grown-up relationship
548
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:53,279
was being on the same page,
and I knew Luke and I were.
549
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,979
- ♪ Something inside of me
550
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,155
♪ Says that I should keep
it all to myself ♪
551
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,026
[cheers and applause]
552
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,463
- Front page, babe!
553
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:04,942
When you write about love,
554
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:07,162
you'’re Miley Cyrus
"Can'’t Be Tamed,"
555
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,859
and, Luke, you...
556
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:11,253
I mean, I never thought
you had it in you.
557
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:12,689
- What'’s he talking about?
558
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,474
- You said you wanted
the world to know.
559
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,437
- Not like this.
560
00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,265
It'’s one thing to say
we started dating.
561
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,136
It'’s another thing to admit
we'’ve been lying to the boss
562
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,225
for the past month.
563
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,488
- Luke, a moment.
564
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,708
- ♪ Something inside of me
565
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:34,189
♪ Is tormenting me
566
00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:37,236
- Looks like no matter
how much more grown-up I felt,
567
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,239
I couldn'’t help but repeat
the mistakes of the past.
568
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:47,158
- Next on Awkward...
- You'’re acting like a child.
569
00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,856
- I am not.Jerk!
570
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,814
- I know this is degrading,
and you don'’t belong
571
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,295
in some strange hotel room...
[sighs]
572
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,776
But you need the money,
so you'’re gonna suck it up
573
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:57,473
and close your eyes
if you need to.
574
00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:59,301
- Matty?
- Jenna?
575
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,172
I broke up with Sully
and figured, what the hell?
576
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:02,565
- You broke up with Sully.
577
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:03,958
- You want to do something
after this?
41966
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