All language subtitles for movieddl.me_Awkward.S05E13.Im.the.Kind.of.Girl.Who.Found.Her.Voice.in.College.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

- Previously on "Awkward"...

I'’d come a long way
from sophomore year,

from being
a random suicide girl

to just a random girl again.

Already I was feeling the core
emotional drama of senior year,

the sadness of doing something
for the last time ever.

We'’ve been through
so much together,

and we should graduate
together.

- I was thinking about
maybe taking a gap year.

- All I want to do
is love you,

and you fight me
every step of the way.

- I was class president, Jake.

What if I'’m never president
of anything else ever?

- You have a whole new life
ahead of you.

- It was so much less
complicated

when I didn'’t know
I was in love with you.

- Right back at you.

- Matty and I still had
a lot to figure out.

We'’d jumped through
too many hoops

to let a little thing
like distance come between us,

because deep down, we knew
that love would conquer all.

Of course,
that'’s not quite what happened.

[indistinct chatter]

[pensive music]

♪

- What are you doing here?

You missed the final.

- What?
I didn'’t miss the final.

I graduated.
Here'’s my diploma.

Thank God the nightmare
of being trapped

in high school forever
turned out to be just that...

[phone ringing]
A nightmare.

Hey.

Yeah, of course
I'’ll pick you up.

Yep, meet you at the curb.

Hey, you want
to spend the night?

Yay!
Okay, can'’t wait.

I love you too.

- ♪ I just want you to know

- My first year of college
had been fantastic.

Even better than expected.

I was becoming the person
I was always meant to be,

and I was really liking
that person.

- Oh, I just miss
my little girl so much

when I don'’t see her.

- Well, the wait is over,
I'’m back!

[baby cries]

- Oh.

- Oh, it'’s okay.
She'’s just not used to you.

- Uh...Lissa, what are you
doing here?

- I'’m the nanny.
Duh.

I didn'’t know Jenna
was coming back today.

- Uh, not today.
Last night.

Very late, which I guess
is why no one waited up.

- I'’m sorry, sweetie,
we'’ve just been so crazed.

- And it was so late.

- So...what?

So you forgot?

I knew I'’d undergone
a dramatic transformation

during my year away at college,

but was surprised that
everyone else had too.

Suddenly I was a stranger
in my own home.

Mom, did you get my hemp milk?
I'’m non-dairy now.

- Really? You weren'’t joking?

Ugh, sorry to be so rushed,

but I have to register for
summer school--I couldn'’t

carry a full course load
last semester.

- Are you non-dairy now
'’cause it makes you break out?

I think you'’ve got
a little blackhead.

- What?
No, that'’s my nose piercing.

Are you always here this early?

- Oh, no, usually
I just stay the night.

- Uh, Liss, Morgan needs
to go down soon,

and, Kev, I'’ll be back
for dinner.

- Not sure I will.
- Okay.

- Oh, uh, let me know if you
want me to order something in.

- Okay.
- Bye.

- I don'’t like to cook.

- So my triumphant return
hadn'’t been as triumphant

as I had hoped.

But the best part of the day
was yet to come.

I could unload to the one
person who knew

better than anyone
how to cheer me up.

Oh, God,
Matty,

the one person I hoped I'’d
never have to see ever again.

And after what happened,
I didn'’t think I would.

- How are you?
- You look good, I'’m good.

loudspeaker: Is for immediate
loading and unloading

of passengers only.

- Oh, my God, T!
You look amazing!

- Hey, Babe.
It'’s so good to see you.

Ugh, the flight from NYC
was brute.

I cannot fly coach anymore.
So not chic.

So I'’m just waiting
for one more bag.

This ho-bag!

- Who are you calling a ho,
you slore?

Aww, is Jenna an Uber driver
for the summer?

How traj.

Careful when you'’re loadingmy bags.

They'’re heavy.

- Uh, so not loading your bags.

- Don'’t give my attitude,
Hamiltrench,

I know what you did to Matty.

- Okay, I cannot stand not
knowing--WTF happened?

- It'’s complicated.
- Sades, what'’s the big ish?

- Matty swore me to secrecy

because it'’s disgusting
and humiliating.

- Okay, then can we please stop
talking about it?

My best friend had befriended
my worst enemy?

How did that even happen?

But I needed to stop worrying
about my old friends

and look to my future.

My new job at Idea Bin,
the website where I'’d scored

a competitive
summer fellowship.

Idea Bin blended journalism
and personal essays

with listicles and quizzes,
and had quickly

gotten both a lot of traffic
and a reputation

as an incubator
for hot young writers.

- Welcome, summer fellow.

Which one are you?

- Jenna Hamilton.
- Hi, I'’m Ethan.

I'’m the Associate Editor here,

and I supervise
you fellowship peeps.

- Hi, Jenna? I'’m Max.

- Max here, clearly
a glutton for punishment,

is back for his second summer
as an unpaid fellow,

as is Mia!

- Hi.

- Last summer, Mia got a piece
up her second week here.

She'’ll probably get a book deal
by the time the summer'’s over.

Bitch!
JK.

This is a safe, nurturing space
where we encourage

both types of LOLing:

laughing out loud
and living out loud.

- Hey, I'’m Ophelia,
also a first-timer.

This is intimidating, right?

- No, hon, don'’t be intimidated.

Jenna, what'’s your
Twitter handle?

- Oh, I haven'’t really been
tweeting that much.

- Is this you?
IAmJennaHam?

It'’s very Theodore Geisel.
I like it.

- Dr. Seuss'’s real name!
Genius, Jenna!

- Wait, 40 followers?

IAmJennaHam last tweeted
in October.

- I kind of backed off social
media when I was in Maine.

- "My boo is coming to visit?"
My boo?

Jenna, go to jail.
That was retired in 2005.

Oaf here has
11,000 Twitter followers.

- I totally respect
your social media boycott.

I wish I could wean myself, but
I just suck at weaning.

I was breastfed till I was six.
Before it was chic.

- Chickens, to be a writer
you need a brand.

And we establish and cultivate
that brand how?

On social media, that is how
the clickbait gets clicked.

That is how your sickness
is gonna go viral.

- I'’m happy to help you.

I spend way too much time
frittering with my twittering.

- Thanks.
- Don'’t worry, hon.

You'’ll catch up.

[jolly music]

♪

- Palos Hills Country Club
is a fun work environment,

but we do demand a commitment
to the highest level

of service and professionalism.

- Oh, of course, Jakey.

You are, like, so serious now.

- This is my job.
- Yeah, dude.

I got your back.

This is gonna be a blast.

I wasn'’t too excited about
coming back home for the summer,

but now, you know, I am.

- So are you gonna tell me
what went down with Jenna?

- [clears throat]Jenna...

Jenna who?

- Okay, I have everyone'’s
assignment except...

Jenna'’s.

- Here it is.

Paper?

What, did you write it
with a quill by candlelight?

Why don'’t you just fax it to me
while you'’re at it, huh?

- Maybe the fax
will make a comeback.

- Yeah, and pagers.
- Tiddlywinks.

- I can see your first byline
now, Jenna.

"Making Backwards Forwards."
It'’s so...Etsy.

Just to be clear, hon,
that is a joke.

Don'’t--don'’t actually do that.

- How had I already managed
to become

the office laughing stock.

No, I wasn'’t gonna get
down on myself.

I wasn'’t gonna let anything
shake my confidence.

- Hey, what'’d I miss?

- [bleep].

- Guys, this is Luke,
also a second-year fellow.

- Jenna. Good to see you.

Luke,
the perfect guy,

the one who got away,

the one who reminded me of what
an immature mess

I'’d been in high school.

Yup, cool, confident Jenna had
just left the building.

- Oh--incoming!

- Lizzy Raines, the
Editor-in-Chief of Idea Bin,

was one of my idols.

Her work was smart
and incisive,

yet emotional and textured.

- Hi.

- I am way too angry
to be mad right now.

Treacherous publisher
thinks that "Perishables"

is a bad title for a novel.

- Lizzy, the new fellows
are all here.

- Hello. Welcome.

I'’d like you all to think
of Idea Bin

as a creative space,
where you can develop your craft

and find your voices.

I'’m always available to you,

except when I'’m in my office
with the door closed,

which is where I'’m headed now.

- Once you get to know her,
she'’s a total pushover.

- So crazy that we'’re both
working here.

- Not that crazy.

Remember, we both discovered
Idea Bin

when we saw that Shira Munroe
piece on shy exhibitionists?

You look great.

How have you been?

- Great.

- Spill--how was
your first day at work.

- Unbelievable--
I actually ran into--

- [gasps] OMG!

I thought I left this at
some after-hours party

in the West Village.

I have to tell Sadie; she will
freak that I found this.

I thought I was out two hundy!

- Wow, you spend a lot of money
on clothes.

- You: Maine.
Me: New York.

Dress for success,
or wail and fail.

- I guess, but the thing
about being in a small town

is that you get less attached
to, you know, things,

and more into, just, being.

- Well, I'’m glad you'’ve been
peace-ing out in the woods,

if that'’s all you'’ve been doing
since you went dark.

- What?

- Your social media blackout did
not go unnoticed, Jenna.

It was aggressive,
like you hung up on the world.

- I had to, after what happened
with Matty, I just...

- Okay,
so what did happen with Matty?

I am dying to know.
Everyone is dying to know.

- It'’s hard to explain.
- That is a cop-out.

If you asked me about
my breakup with Adam,

I would tell you anything
you want to know.

- Was it friendly?

- It was hard.

TBH, if you hadn'’t gone all
M.I.A. "Paper Planes"

on social media, you would
already know that.

You feel me?

- Yeah, I feel you.

[electronic music]

♪

- Hey, Sadita,
college girl back in town.

Good to see you.
Next?

- So how are you?

- Super busy right now,

but let'’s catch up soon, okay?

- Soon sounds good.

Lates.

- Sadie says Sergio'’s food truck
is out of control.

Jump on it, bay-bay!

"Oh, he is dying to jump on me,
but he'’s too busy

"with his stupid
food truck right now.

Courtney Roy is throwing a party
in the Palisades."

Shut up!

- Who'’s Courtney Roy?

- Oh, some boring trustafarian
Sadie and I met in New York.

I hear her house is sick,
so I should go.

Can we rain check?

- So...no sleepover?

- I know, I suck, but this party
is going to be mayj.

But, you'’re more than
welcome to come

if you want.

- Why was it when people said
I was "more than welcome,"

I always felt less than?

Gee, T, you make it sound
so appealing,

but I think I'’ll pass.

I may not have been cool enough
for Tamara anymore,

but at least I could go home
to my parents.

Shockingly, I actually wanted
to hang out with them.

I'’d missed them a lot more
than I expected.

- Oh, hey, Jenna, we didn'’t know
you'’d be home for dinner.

- Change of plans.

- Well, we'’re going out
for a date night,

but, um...you'’re more than
welcome to join.

- Yeah.

- The dreaded
"more than welcome" again.

That'’s okay, you guys should go.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye-bye.

- You don'’t have to stay.
I am happy to take care of her.

- All right.
[baby cries]

- Oh.

Maybe you should stay.
- Oh.

Hmm, must'’ve been you, Jenna.

Weird.

- Even my baby sister
didn'’t want to have

anything to do with me.

Well, she wasn'’t
the only crabby baby

who felt like crying.

It was time to go to bed

and put this day
out of its misery

so I could start all over again
the next day

with a clear head
and a good attitude.

Good morning.
- Hey.

Guess we'’re gonna have to get
used to

seeing each other every day.

- Yeah, still can'’t get
over the coincidence.

- Okay, to be perfectly honest,

maybe not all that coincidental.

I might have seen
your application on the pile

and given it an extra push.

- Oh.

So it wasn'’t a fluke;
it was Luke?

I thought I had
gotten this internship

on my own merit,
but it was just

the helping hand
of someone from my past.

And it seemed like
the more I wanted

to put my past behind me,

the more it wanted to get
all up in my face.

I just got an invite to a little
high school gathering.

Same old Palos Hills.

- Still a little
Matty drama, huh?

- Oh, no,
I'’m not that girl anymore.

College has given me
a whole new perspective.

- Good.

Looks like we'’re starting up.

- I ask our new fellows
to write about

their worst experience ever
because I am a fan

of ritual humiliation.

JK!

I ask because it is hard
to be both confessional

and engaging.

So, Jenna, tell me,

why do you think
your essay is interesting?

- Well, it'’s about how
profoundly we can be affected

by others'’ misperceptions of us.

I broke my arm
in a freak accident,

but the story--the accepted
truth--was that

I tried to kill myself.

- Right, but if
you didn'’t actually

try to kill yourself,
then what are the stakes?

- I just...

- Let me put it into
context for you, okay?

Ophelia wrote about
how she did commit suicide.

- I was dead for two minutes
before they revived me.

- So you see?
Ophelia was dead.

That'’s interesting.

- I don'’t want to die again,
though, I'’ll tell you that much.

You know, heaven seemed really
middle-of-the-road.

[indie rock music]

- Are you sure you don'’t
want to come?

- More than.

Hamilslag, there'’s a 30-foot
no-slunt zone

around Matty, '’kay?

- Sadie, really,
didn'’t you grow up at all

your entire year of college?

- You guys, I'’m really trying
to swing this

and be bi-friendsual,
but your girl-fighting

is making it muyhard.

- Go have fun with
the high school crowd, TK.

I'’m in the mood
for some good Mexican,

and you can'’t get that
in the city.

- Get on it, you slut.

both: Muah.
Muah.

- ♪ Hot day, summer nights

♪ Workin'’
till the weekend strikes ♪

- You see Matty?
- No.

Are you really okay?
Can you deal?

- Of course.
We'’re all adults now.

God knows we'’ve all had our fill
of Matty and Jenna drama.

- Yes, but, from another POV,

it'’s the gift
that keeps on giving.

- I thought this was just
supposed to be

Palos Hills peeps.

Who'’s that sloppy rando?

- My girlfriend.

- Matty, I love your friends.
I really like them.

- I'’d been back from college
less than a week,

but all my illusions
about being a new,

powerful, confident person
were crumbling.

I can'’t believe
that'’s Matty'’s girlfriend.

- She does seem kind of
gauche atrosh.

- And Matty seems like
such a frat boy.

- Thank God boys aren'’t
all fratted-out in the city.

Hey, babe, will you make me
a dirty martini?

- Babe, we got beer...
in red cups.

Welcome back to Palos Hills.

[funky dance music]

♪

- Hey, Sadita,
what are you doing here?

- Last night you said you wanted
to see me soon.

Well, now'’s soon.

- Oh, man, I didn'’t say
tonight, did I?

Been so crazy busy
I can'’t keep track.

- Yeah, and I can see
what you'’ve been busy with.

I bet that whore puts in
a lot of overtime!

- Sadie! That'’s my mom!
Respect!

- Uh-huh, now I know why
you don'’t want me

to meet this Sadie girl.

Maldita.

- I am so sorry, Mrs. Espinoza,

Sergio told me how young
and beautiful you are,

but I'’m sorry...

Okay, she can get over it.

So where do you want to go?

- Sadie, I didn'’t know
you were coming.

I have plans.

- With your mama?

- No, with his girlfriend.

Hi, I'’m Julia.

- Oh, hi.

We'’ll just have to do it
another time.

'’Kay?

Pal?

♪

- I'’m out!

Hey.
- Hi.

- What are you guys doing?

- Making out with tongue.

- So are you guys dating again?

- Yeah, for six months.

- Another thing
you would have known

if you were on social media.

- Yay, Sadie, you'’re here!

- Hey, cutie.

So good to see you too.
You look amaze.

Let'’s chat lates, '’kay?
I need to tell T something.

- OMG, Sades, WTF?
Tell me everything.

- Was it weird
when you got home?

- No, it'’s been super fun.

I have a baby, which is perfect,
since I'’ve always wanted

to be a Palos Hills mom.

And your parents are super cool
and let Jake

spend the night whenever I want.

- I mean, was he trying
to humiliate me?

Poor communication skills
are inexcusable.

- Me choir, keep preaching.

- Jake and I work well
as a couple.

Plus, between nannying
and Atonercising,

I don'’t even have time to look
for a different boyfriend.

- That'’s romantic.
- I know.

- The thing is, don'’t ambush me!

If you want to dip
your little chip

into some nasty guac
while I'’m away,

that'’s fine, but just tell me.

- It'’s not always easy
to communicate long distance.

- Not for emotionally
constipated slunts

like you, maybe.

- Sades, Jenna is still
my friend too.

- Thanks, T, but it'’s actually
reassuring to see

that someone hasn'’t
changed around here.

- Hey, dude, ball, please.

- This deep freeze
is burning my ass.

Can you at least be civ
to each other?

- Fine.

- Here'’s your girlfriend'’s
ball, Matty.

- Thank you, uh,

can you take some
of the stink off of it?

- Oh, it came with that on it.
Dude.

- Sully'’s just playing.

- Playing--
is that what you call it?

- Yeah, I do.
What do you call it?

- Rudeness.

But, whatever, Matty,
this is just so

not what I expected
out of you.

- Yeah, well, this pretentious
bull[bleep] you'’re putting on

is exactly what I expected
of you.

- Pretentious?

Why, because I don'’t like
throwing balls at people'’s heads

and playing stupid
drinking games?

- Pretentious because
you'’ve turned into some

self-righteous hippie chick
thinking you'’re

better than everyone
while standing there

with some stupid thing
stuck in your nose.

- And this is why we can'’t just
be civ with each other.

- I was mad at myself for being
stupid enough

to think Matty and I could
ever be okay again.

But I was even madder at Matty
for all those hurtful things

he said
that made me want to scream--

[baby cries]

- Just rock her a little.

She needs to get
used to her big sister.

- Yeah, she wasn'’t prepared...

- I know you'’ve had a little bit
of a rough landing,

and I'’m really sorry.

- How do you know?

It'’s not like
you'’ve been paying attention.

- Well, am I right?

- Yes.
Everyone'’s changed.

Lissa has taken over our house,

Tamara and Sadie
are best friends,

Luke got me my job
without telling me,

and Matty has turned
into a complete jerk.

- Okay, okay.
Let'’s put her back in her crib.

When everyone stops trying
so hard to be adults,

they'’ll stop acting
like such children.

Trust me, they'’re
still the same people.

- But I'’ve changed.

- Mm-hmm, you'’re more confident;
you'’re even smarter...

but don'’t stop being that sweet,
sensitive girl

I know
and love, okay?

Hey, I got you some santizing
wipes for your...

- Thanks, but...

I think I'’m actually going
to take it out.

It'’s getting a little infected.

- I noticed.

I'’m sorry Morgan'’s in your room,

and you don'’t have space
to do your writing...

- I actually do have
some space...

I was caught in a perfect storm
of emotions:

angry, happy,
defeated, hopeful.

I knew I had to seize
the moment and work...

So I went to Idea Bin.

- ♪ I'’m gonna see you,
see you ♪

♪ And now it'’s happened ♪

♪ And that'’s--
we'’re never, ever going ♪

♪ When you look into my heart

- "I'’m The Kind of Person Who
Found Her Voice In College."

I thought this piece
could say a lot

about heartbreak and growth--

sort of like a care-frontation
letter to myself.

I'’d post it and tweet it
everywhere and anywhere.

- Hey.

What are you doing here
so early?

- I'’ve actually been here
all night,

trying to write something
Ethan won'’t hate.

- Listen, if he pushes you,
it'’s because he sees potential.

- Or he sees a girl whose
ex-boyfriend got her the job.

- Jenna, I wouldn'’t have pushed
your name on the top of the pile

if I didn'’t think you were
really talented.

- Then, why didn'’t you just tell
me up front

before I started here?

- I'’m sorry, Jenna.

It didn'’t even occur to me that
you might be insecure about it.

Because I wasn'’t at all.

I mean, you'’re gonna make me
look good.

- Well, I'’m no Ophelia.

- I didn'’t like her essay
all that much.

And, FYI,
Ophelia got the internship

because her dad'’s tight
with Lizzy.

- Really?
- Yes.

And I got the job because
I was in Lizzy'’s class,

and she likes me.

There'’s not too much happens
that'’s completely blind.

Knowing someonehelps.

- I feel so naive.

- Well, I don'’t want
to disillusion you...

- You can'’t.

- You are not the same girl
you were last year.

- Sorry to disappoint you.

- I'’m not disappointed.

You keep getting better
and better...

- ♪ We'’re never, ever
going back ♪

♪

♪ It'’s finally alive ♪

- Next on "Awkward"...
- He is your ex.

- Not even friends or people who
even speak to each other.

- What happened?

- I'’ve never been more in love
with Matty.

Why are you so pissed?
- I'’m not pissed.

- Now Jenna'’s MIA a.m. to p.m.,

living like some 24-hour
party person.

- Let her go.

- I have decided I want
to make some changes.

I'’m transferring to Wyckoff.