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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,577 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,112 - YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT. 3 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,580 YOU'RE NOT ANYTHING. AND IF YOU EVER COME BACK HERE, 4 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:13,881 THEN I WILL TELL EVERYBODY THE TRUTH. 5 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,116 - I FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW WE ENDED THINGS. 6 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,817 - HE SAID I WAS A GOOD PERSON. 7 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,519 - THAT SON OF A BITCH. 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,588 - JENNA, I'M SORRY FOR NOT TRUSTING YOU. 9 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,259 - NEW YEAR'S EVE-- 10 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,560 A NIGHT FOR SAYING GOOD-BYE TO THE OLD 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,595 AND HELLO TO THE NEW. 12 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,962 "THE OLD" BEING PSYCHO EVA 13 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,598 WHO ALMOST DESTROYED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH MATTY 14 00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,766 WHILE SABOTAGING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE. 15 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,035 YET, IT WAS HIGH TIME TO USHER IN THE NEW 16 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,370 WITH A QUIET NIGHT AT HOME. 17 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,240 JUST ME, MATTY, AND A BOTTLE OF CHEAP CHAMPAGNE. 18 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,508 - ARE YOU HAVING SOME ROMANTIC RENDEZVOUS 19 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,775 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT? 20 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,211 I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST YOU AND MATTY. 21 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,412 - IT IS. 22 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,180 - OH. - IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. 23 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,348 WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. 24 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,649 MATTY ASKED TO COME OVER TONIGHT 25 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,184 AND I THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT SPECIAL 26 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,353 SINCE THIS IS OUR LAST NEW YEAR'S EVE TOGETHER. 27 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,921 - WAIT, IF IT'S JUST YOU AND MATTY, 28 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,090 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO AT MIDNIGHT? 29 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,858 ARE YOU GONNA KISS? - NO. 30 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,560 THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 31 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,628 - ALL I'M SAYING IS YOU'RE BOTH SINGLE 32 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,163 AND ON THE REBOUND. 33 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,031 HE MAY HAVE A DIFFERENT IDEA OF WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 34 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,366 [phone chimes] 35 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,301 YOUR FATHER KEEPS DRUNK-DIALING ME. 36 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,736 HE SHOULD'VE JUST GONE 37 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,338 TO ALLY'S PARTY WITH ME INSTEAD OF BRO-ING OUT 38 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,374 AT SOME STUPID FOOTBALL GAME. 39 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:14,875 HI, HON. 40 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:18,746 I KNOW I'M HOTTER THAN THOSE CHEERLEADERS! 41 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,315 - WOULD MATTY REALLY EXPECT A KISS AT MIDNIGHT? 42 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,016 IS THAT WHY HE INVITED HIMSELF OVER? 43 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,486 I HIGHLY DOUBTED IT, BUT WHEN IT CAME TO MATTY, 44 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,854 I'D BEEN WRONG BEFORE. 45 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,822 [phone buzzes] 46 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,224 HAPPY NEW YEAR. 47 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,892 - "HAPPY"? HAPPY? 48 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,494 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR 49 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,862 WHEN YOU'VE ABANDONED ME LIKE A BABY 50 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,230 IN A DUMPSTER OUTSIDE OF PROM? 51 00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,365 - I'M SORRY. 52 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,966 MATTY WANTED A QUIET NIGHT IN. 53 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,368 I DON'T THINK HE'S READY TO DEAL 54 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,002 WITH PEOPLE ASKING HIM ABOUT EVA. 55 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,037 - MAYBE HE CAN CHOOSE ANOTHER NIGHT TO PLAY J.D. SALINGER? 56 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,773 ONE THAT WON'T MAKE MY NEW YEAR'S AULD LANG SUCK. 57 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,241 - IT'S NOT JUST HIM. 58 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,377 I THOUGHT I'D BE SPENDING TONIGHT WITH LUKE. 59 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,779 JUST NOT UP TO PARTYING RIGHT NOW. 60 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,815 - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, ROLL SOLO TO YOGURTLAND? 61 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,049 [doorbell rings] 62 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,385 - OKAY, HEY, I GOTTA GO. 63 00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:59,052 MATTY'S HERE, BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR, 64 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,355 AND I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. 65 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,358 [dreamy music] 66 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,593 * 67 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,728 [both mumbling, laughing] 68 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,864 both: HEY! - HAPPY NEW YEAR! 69 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,636 - ARE WE EARLY? WERE YOU GUYS HAVING DINNER? 70 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,639 - NOPE. TAMARA'S ON HER WAY. 71 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,210 AND THE TABLE IS FOR MY PARENTS. 72 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,611 - HI, MATTY. 73 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,646 DO YOU LIKE THE TABLE JENNA SET UP FOR YOU TWO? 74 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,016 SHE SPENT ALL DAY COOKING. 75 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,524 - MY SOLO NIGHT WITH MATTY 76 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,091 HAD TURNED INTO A GROUP AFFAIR. 77 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,661 SO MUCH FOR ANY CHANCE OF A MIDNIGHT KISS, 78 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,363 BUT IT WAS NICE TO HAVE MY CLOSEST FRIENDS 79 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,731 BACK TOGETHER, DRAMA-FREE. 80 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:45,333 - "I RESOLVE TO SHAVE." 81 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,602 THIS IS OBVIOUSLY FOR JAKE TO GET RID OF HIS 2:00 SHADOW. 82 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,971 - NOPE, I WROTE THAT ONE FOR YOU TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS. 83 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,673 [laughter] 84 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,542 - FUN RESOLUTION GAME, JENNA. 85 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,876 THANKS FOR INVITING ME 86 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,511 TO YOUR EXCLUSIVE PARTY AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE. 87 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,646 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 88 00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:01,048 MATTY, YOUR TURN. 89 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,450 - [clears throat] 90 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,918 "I RESOLVE TO STOP DATING PSYCHOS 91 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,987 WHO FAKE THEIR PREGNANCY." 92 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,456 - YOU GUYS, WHO WROTE THAT? 93 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,658 NOT COOL. - EVERYONE, RELAX. 94 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,593 I WROTE IT FOR MYSELF. IT'S A JOKE. 95 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,928 - YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? - YEAH. 96 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,129 WE CAN JOKE ABOUT THINGS. 97 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,031 PLEASE, IT MAKES ME FEEL NORMAL. 98 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,334 - "NORMAL." WHAT A WONDERFUL WORD. 99 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,536 AND MATTY AND I WERE ON THE PATH BACK TO NORMALCY. 100 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,472 BUT WHAT WAS NORMAL FOR US? 101 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,874 FRIENDS? OR SOMETHING MORE? 102 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,480 - PASS THESE. - HI, TY TY. 103 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,014 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 104 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,549 THAT'S LISSA'S FAKE BROTHER, NOT A WAITER. 105 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,418 - OH, MY BAD. 106 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:40,621 - AND THAT'S MY FRIEND, SERGIO, YOU RACIST. 107 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,290 NO ONE HERE IS THE HELP. 108 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,691 - UH, YEAH. YOU ARE. 109 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,892 WHY DO YOU THINK I TOLD 110 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,294 YOU AND BLONDIE TO WEAR BLACK AND WHITE 111 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,328 AND INVITE YOUR FRIENDS? 112 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,362 [doorbell rings] OOH. 113 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,497 THAT MUST BE MY PI PHI DELTS. 114 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:53,634 HOLD ON TO YOUR BRAS, BITCHES. 115 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,136 WHAT UP, SLUTS? 116 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,137 [all cheering] 117 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,506 - HAPPY NEW YEAR! 118 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,709 - HI. HI. 119 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,650 - OH, COULD YOU HOLD BRONSON? 120 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,885 - [baby spits] - [gasps] 121 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,455 - OH, I'M SO SORRY. 122 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:17,057 HABLAS INGLES? 123 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,895 - ALLY WANTS A PARTY? I'LL GIVE HER A PARTY. 124 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,964 THIS THING IS GOING WIDE. 125 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,334 "COME TO 16 LAS RICAS PLACE 126 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,969 "FOR THE BIGGEST NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH EVER. 127 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,740 TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS." 128 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,344 [phones ring, chime, honk] 129 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,811 - SADIE'S HAVING A PARTY AT HER AUNT'S HOUSE. 130 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,014 WE SHOULD GO, NOT THAT THIS ISN'T FUN. 131 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,584 - MY MOM'S THERE. WHO WOULD WANT TO GO TO THAT? 132 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,353 - UH, A LOT OF PEOPLE. 133 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,854 - LET'S GO. 134 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,356 - I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO HAVE A QUIET NIGHT. 135 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,123 - OH, THAT'S WHY THIS IS SO LAME. 136 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,625 - NO, THIS HAS BEEN GREAT, 137 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,727 BUT SADIE'S COULD BE FUN TOO. 138 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:54,962 - I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE 139 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,097 YOU'D WANT TO TALK OR-- - ENOUGH. 140 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,767 ARE YOU TWO PLAYING FOR GOLD IN THE OLYMPIC LAMES? 141 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,370 JENNA, MATTY, STOP MOPING. 142 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,371 MOVE ON. 143 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,438 [bleep] IT! 144 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,107 - YEAH. WHAT SHE SAID. [bleep] IT. 145 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,809 - YOU KNOW WHAT? WE SHOULD MAKE A [bleep] IT LIST. 146 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,243 EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT WE COULDN'T DO, 147 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,713 'CAUSE WE WERE TOO SAD OR TOO SCARED, 148 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,114 WE SHOULD JUST CARPE DO IT! 149 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,984 Y.O.G.O.-- YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE. 150 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,587 SO SKIP CLASS AND HOOK UP WITH A RANDO, 151 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,721 AND GO TO SADIE'S RAGER. 152 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,390 - HELL YEAH. 153 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,091 [clears throat] - WHOO. 154 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,660 ONLY PROBLEM IS I DON'T WANT TO HOOK UP WITH A RANDO. 155 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,928 - YEAH, ME EITHER. 156 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,197 HEY, I HAVE A RESOLUTION FOR US. 157 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,965 EH, IT'S MORE OF A PACT. 158 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,301 - OKAY. - NEITHER OF US HOOKS UP. 159 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,703 IF WE SEE THE OTHER FLIRTING, 160 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,405 THEN WE SWOOP IN AND STOP IT LIKE A-- 161 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,607 - REVERSE WINGMAN. - SO CAN WE GO? 162 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,142 - WHY DID MATTY MAKE THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT? 163 00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,077 WAS IT FOR FUN OR DID HE WANT TO MAKE SURE 164 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,479 WE WERE TOGETHER AT MIDNIGHT? 165 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,881 MAYBE THERE REALLY WAS A KISS IN OUR FUTURE. 166 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:51,485 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. 167 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,887 - WHY DID ALLY INVITE BARBARA MCKIBBEN? 168 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,955 SHE HATES ME. 169 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,457 - SHE INVITED THE ENTIRE P.T.A. 170 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,959 ODDS ARE SHE WAS DRUNK AT THE TIME. 171 00:05:58,959 --> 00:05:59,960 - MMM. 172 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,161 - KAMIKAZE, DADDY? 173 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,596 MOMMY? - MMM. THANKS, HONEY. 174 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,932 - YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK HARD ALCOHOL, MISSY. 175 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,700 - BUT THERE'S THAT BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER. 176 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,235 - IT'S TOUGH ON STAINS. 177 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,472 TYLER, I'LL TAKE WHATEVER YOU HAVE. 178 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,441 THANK YOU. 179 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,442 - MMM. 180 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,576 MMM. - SHOT? 181 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:19,847 - OH, NO, THANKS. I'M ON A CLEANSE. 182 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,516 - OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 183 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,453 I HAVE AN 18-YEAR UNBROKEN STREAK 184 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,654 OF THROWING KICK-ASS PARTIES. 185 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,988 IT DOES NOT END TONIGHT! 186 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,023 TIME TO PUT SOME SPICE ON THIS ICE. 187 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,459 - ICE LUGE! 188 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,661 SADIE TEXTED ME SAYING THERE IS AN ICE LUGE! 189 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,995 - I AM SO EXCITED. 190 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,197 I HOPE THAT DUMB YUM WRESTLER PETE IS HERE. 191 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,732 HE'S NUMBER ONE ON MY [bleep] IT LIST. 192 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,468 I NEED TO FINISH WHAT I STARTED IN SNOW VALLEY 193 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,269 AND TAP HIM OUT. - [grunts] 194 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,338 HOLLA, PARTY PEOPLE! 195 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,942 WHO'S READY TO GET THIS NEW YEAR'S JAM ON? 196 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,243 [door closes] 197 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,747 - OH. 198 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,683 - NICE ONE. - HEY, GUYS. 199 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,985 I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE. 200 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,053 THIS PARTY IS SO LAME. 201 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,122 AND JENNA'S FATHER ABANDONED ME TO GO 202 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,124 TO SOME STUPID SPLENDA BOWL. 203 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,493 both: SUGAR. - WHATEVER. 204 00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,961 WHICH LEAVES ME HERE WITH VAL WHO I LOVE, 205 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,565 BUT... 206 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,700 YOU KNOW? 207 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:13,734 - HI, MATTY. 208 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,369 TAMELA, JAKE, JENNA. 209 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,105 - MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 210 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,773 - ALLY INVITED ME. 211 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,075 I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HERE. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE. 212 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,644 - WELL, I DO. 213 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,179 - LOOKS LIKE MATTY NEEDED LESS OF A COCK BLOCK 214 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,648 AND MORE OF AN EMOTIONAL ROCK. 215 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,751 HE AND HIS MOM WERE CLEARLY STILL NOT ON GOOD TERMS. 216 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,285 [doorbell rings] 217 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,156 - IT'S A NEW YEAR'S MIRACLE! 218 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,225 [all cheering] 219 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,428 [energetic dance music] 220 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:45,065 * 221 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,266 - WELCOME, EVERYBODY! 222 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,136 HAPPY NEW YEAR! 223 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,538 - WHAT DID YOU DO? 224 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:54,141 - I INVITED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL...DISTRICT. 225 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,043 YOUR GERIATRIC SNORE-FEST 226 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:59,279 JUST TURNED INTO A HIGH SCHOOL RAGER. 227 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,782 - THANK YOU. 228 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,451 - SO MUCH FOR A NIGHT OF GETTING CLOSER TO MATTY. 229 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,423 I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HALF THE PEOPLE THERE 230 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,725 AND HADN'T SEEN MATTY FOR AN HOUR. 231 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,093 THE WAY THINGS WERE GOING, 232 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,628 WE'D NEVER BE TOGETHER AT MIDNIGHT. 233 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,463 - THERE'S PETE. I'M GOING IN. 234 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,600 BUT FIRST, SOME LIQUID COURAGE. 235 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,338 - HEY. EXCUSE ME. 236 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,607 WHEW. 237 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,641 THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL. 238 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,176 BETTER LET ME GET IT FOR YOU. 239 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,678 - [clears throat] 240 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,380 - CAN I SEE SOME I.D., SON? 241 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,748 - UH, I-I, UH-- - DON'T HAVE ONE? 242 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,216 LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE TO CUFF YOU. 243 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,986 - OFFICER, I'VE BEEN BAD. 244 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,988 CUFF ME. 245 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,590 [dance music] 246 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,791 - THAT FAKE-OUT WAS PRETTY GOOD, 247 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,192 BUT I KNEW YOU HIRED A STRIPPER. 248 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,027 I TOTALLY KNEW THAT. I'M GONNA NEED A DRINK. 249 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,230 - I'M TAKING ALL YOU FINE LADIES DOWN... 250 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,832 TOWN. 251 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:52,966 - WHOO! 252 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,467 UH-HUH, UH-HUH. 253 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,604 - NEVER HAD COCK-BLOCKING BEEN SO LITERAL. 254 00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:59,306 HOW WAS HANGING WITH MATTY SO HARD? 255 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,274 WRONG WORD. DIFFICULT. 256 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,676 [all shouting, whistling] 257 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,078 - HEY, DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHOSE PARTY THIS IS? 258 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,714 I JUST HEARD IT'S LIKE A FORMER RICH BITCH 259 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,248 WHOSE MOM JUST, LIKE, BAILED ON HER 260 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,283 AND NOW SHE HAS TO LIVE AT HOME WITH HER DRUNK AUNT. 261 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752 SO DARK. - YOU KNOW WHAT'S DARK? 262 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,721 THE DUNGEON WHERE I KEEP RUDE PEOPLE WHO RUN THEIR MOUTH. 263 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,789 YOU WANT TO SEE IT? 264 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,492 - I DON'T NEED YOU TO DEFEND ME. 265 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,028 - YOWZER. 266 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,064 THERE'S A COUGAR IS ON THE PROWL. 267 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,265 - I'M NATALIE. 268 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,467 OH, DO YOU GUYS GO TO SCU? 269 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,370 - UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 270 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,805 - COLLEGE WAS SUCH A GREAT TIME. 271 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,473 - IT'S GREAT. - YEAH. 272 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,342 - SO WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR? 273 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:36,877 - HE'S IN BEAUTY SCHOOL. 274 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,647 HE'S TOTALLY CHANGED MY APPROACH TO EYE SHADOW. 275 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,714 - SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS AN AUTUMN. 276 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,282 [laughs] CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 277 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,484 - I CAN'T BELIEVE WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING. 278 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,354 - HEY, JAKE. PLAY US A SONG. 279 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,356 - OH. - OH, ARE YOU A SINGER? 280 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,125 - I AM WHATEVER YOU WANT ME 281 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,361 * TO BE 282 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,463 [vocalizing] 283 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,198 * GIRL 284 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,933 - I KNOW SOMEONE ELSE 285 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,103 WHO WOULD LOVE THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE. 286 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,337 COME UPSTAIRS. 287 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,940 - UPSTAIRS? 288 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,643 - [mouths silently] THREESOME. 289 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:16,784 - [chuckles] 290 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,787 - THAT'S MADISON. 291 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,554 DO YOU KNOW ANY LULLABIES? 292 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,591 - OH. UM... 293 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,959 - * HEY, DJ 294 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,161 - HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT AN "AUTUMN" IS? 295 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,196 - COSMO. 296 00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,198 - COCK-BLOCKING MATTY WAS KIND OF FUN. 297 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,866 THIS WASN'T HOW I THOUGHT WE'D RECONNECT, 298 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,302 BUT HEY, WHEN IN ROME OR ALLY'S. 299 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,170 - HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 300 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,205 - OH, UM, I'M-- 301 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,807 - OH, SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT, JENNA, 302 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,710 BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS HUGE BAT IN THE CAVE. 303 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,278 SHE'S GETTING OVER A NASTY COLD, MAN. 304 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,513 [groans] 305 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,448 HEY, DUDE, THIS KEG IS KICKED! 306 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,818 - I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 307 00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,619 - MATTY WASN'T GETTING AWAY THAT EASY. 308 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,955 WAIT, MATTY WAS GETTING AWAY. 309 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:58,158 - HEY, I'M OWEN. - NICE TO MEET YOU, OWEN. 310 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,728 - ISN'T THIS THE BEST PARTY EVER? 311 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,129 - YEAH, IT'S FULL OF KIDS. 312 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,630 DON'T YOU FEEL A LITTLE OUT OF PLACE? 313 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,299 - HONEY, JUST RELAX. HAVE FUN. 314 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,802 I'M GONNA GET A WINE COOLER. DO YOU WANT ANYTHING? 315 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:11,972 - HAPPY NEW YEAR! 316 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,306 [cheers and applause] 317 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,542 - LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOM'S HAVING FUN. 318 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,244 - YEAH, IT'S EMBARRASSING. 319 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,312 - HEY, AT LEAST YOUR MOM KNOWS HOW TO HAVE FUN. 320 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,915 - HAVE YOU TALKED TO HER ABOUT ANYTHING? 321 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,516 - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HER. 322 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,618 - REMEMBER WHEN MY MOM WROTE ME 323 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:26,887 THE CAREFRONTATION LETTER? 324 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,488 - YEAH, THAT WAS BRUTAL. 325 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,890 - BEYOND. 326 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,658 AND I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE HER, 327 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,327 BUT I'M GLAD I DID. 328 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,529 I REALIZED THAT ADULTS ARE JUST PEOPLE, 329 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,531 MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG. 330 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,467 YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER. 331 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:44,671 - YEAH, MAYBE I'LL TRY. 332 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,139 - WE NEED TO FIND SOMEPLACE PRIVATE. 333 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,309 - ANYWHERE. I NEED TO KISS YOU. 334 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,778 - AAH! 335 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,379 OH, MY GOD! 336 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,047 DADDY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 337 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,182 - LISSA! 338 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,650 THIS MAN TOLD ME HE WAS A POLICE OFFICER! 339 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,886 I SWEAR. 340 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,789 - YOU MEAN HE MADE YOU LICK HIS TUMMY? 341 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,426 - WHA-- 342 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,695 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 343 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,797 LISSA? 344 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,664 - I SAW DADDY-- 345 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,968 I SAW A DADDY LONGLEGS. 346 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,804 - OH. WELL, KILL IT. 347 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:20,007 THEY'RE OPENING A '95 MOET IN THE LIVING ROOM. 348 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:22,042 COME, TYLER. - I'D LOVE SOME BUBBLY. 349 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,312 LET'S GO. - [laughs] 350 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,348 - OKAY, WHAT WERE YOU REALLY SCREAMING AT? 351 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,483 - I THINK MY DAD MIGHT BE GAY. 352 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,718 - OKAY. 353 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,654 HE IS SO GAY. 354 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,956 HIS OBSESSION WITH SPIN CLASS, 355 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,825 SHOES, AND JESUS' ABS TIPS IT OFF. 356 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,393 RELAX. IT'S A GOOD THING. 357 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,195 NOW HE CAN FINALLY COME OUT, INSTEAD OF HIDING 358 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,131 IN THAT CLOSET FULL OF YELLOW PANTS. 359 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,398 YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR MOM. 360 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,300 - I CAN'T! THAT WOULD KILL HER. 361 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,569 IS IT EVEN MY SECRET TO TELL? 362 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,639 JESUS DOES HAVE GREAT ABS. 363 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,843 [dance music] 364 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,878 - YOU'VE GOT GREAT MOVES, TAMARA. 365 00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,580 - YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT. 366 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,950 [plays guitar] 367 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,317 - YOU'RE AMAZING. 368 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,653 IT USUALLY TAKES FOREVER FOR HER TO FALL ASLEEP. 369 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,756 - I'M HAPPY TO HELP. SHE'S REALLY CUTE. 370 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,059 - YOU'RE REALLY CUTE. 371 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,197 - WHO DO YOU HAVE THERE? 372 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,565 - SHE WAS MY HORSE. 373 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,301 - "WAS" YOUR HORSE? DID SHE QUIT? 374 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,769 - NO, I HAD HER WHEN I WAS RICH, 375 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,772 BEFORE MY DAD WENT TO PRISON AND MY MOM ABANDONED ME. 376 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,975 - I'M SORRY, SADITA. 377 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,242 - DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME. 378 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,710 - I'LL DO WHAT I WANT TO, BITCH. 379 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,613 - PUSSY. 380 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,983 - WHERE'S JAKE? IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT. 381 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,617 I WANTED US ALL TO BE TOGETHER. 382 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,987 - I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT HIM RIGHT NOW. 383 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,689 - SO WHERE'S TAMARA? 384 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,591 AH, OKAY. 385 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,592 SHE'S OUT. 386 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,927 - JUST YOU AND ME. 387 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,561 LET'S FIND SOME FANCY BOOZE FOR OUR MIDNIGHT TOAST. 388 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,796 - PERFECT. 389 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,332 SO IT WOULD BE JUST ME AND MATTY AT MIDNIGHT, 390 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,634 A NEW YEAR STARTING OFF WITH A LOT OF PROMISE. 391 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,903 OH. 392 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,571 LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOM'S HAVING A GREAT TIME... 393 00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,639 WITH MY MOM. 394 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,508 OH, GOD. THEY'RE COMING TOWARDS US. 395 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,510 - WHAT UP, KIDS? - HI, GUYS! 396 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,379 - WHAT UP...MOMS? [laughter] 397 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,747 - ARE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN? 398 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,316 - YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? - [blows raspberry] 399 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,951 - IT TURNS OUT LACEY AND I HAVE A LOT MORE 400 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,352 IN COMMON THAN WE THOUGHT. 401 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,821 WE'RE GONNA START A BOOK AND WINE CLUB. 402 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,757 - OR MAYBE JUST WINE. - RIGHT, MAYBE JUST WINE. 403 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,792 - I HAD NEVER SEEN MATTY'S MOM LIKE THIS. 404 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,728 SHE SEEMED HUMAN. 405 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,163 - [chuckles] 406 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,497 - OH, NO. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 407 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,299 I WANT TO HANG WITH MY NEW BESTIE, BARB. 408 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,935 - YOU HAVE TO LET THEM TALK. 409 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,003 - NEW BESTIE? WHAT? 410 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,838 [thud] OH, COME ON. 411 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,273 - BETTER GO DO DAMAGE CONTROL. 412 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,943 - VAL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T! 413 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,411 - LOOKED LIKE MATTY AND I HAD A LOT TO CELEBRATE. 414 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,148 I NEEDED TO FIND SOMETHING NICE FOR OUR MIDNIGHT TOAST. 415 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,183 I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT. 416 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,822 - TYLER, I FEEL LIKE I'VE BARELY SEEN YOU ALL NIGHT. 417 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,392 - I'VE BEEN SHOWING HIM AROUND THE HOUSE. 418 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,327 - AREN'T WE AN ATTENTIVE LITTLE HOSTESS? 419 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,796 BUT LET'S NOT MONOPOLIZE HIM, OKAY? 420 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,331 - YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT, LISSA. 421 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,134 YOU NEED TO SHARE. 422 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,970 - YOU'RE RIGHT, DADDY, 423 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,737 WE SHOULD ALL SHARE. 424 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,774 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SHARE? 425 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,742 PLEASE? 426 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,044 - NO. 427 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,779 - WELL, THEN, 428 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,015 I DO. 429 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:18,618 I DON'T THINK IT'S HEALTHY TO LIVE A LIE. 430 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,555 SO I WANT TO SHARE THAT-- 431 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,357 THAT... 432 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,994 I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER! 433 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,895 - [gasps] 434 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,331 - NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING YOU TO SAY, 435 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,600 BUT IMPRESSIVE NONETHELESS. 436 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,601 - WORD. 437 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,203 - AH, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW. 438 00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:40,907 DADDY, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY? 439 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:46,013 - YES, I DO. 440 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,016 I'M SO GLAD YOU CONFESSED YOUR SINS, LISSA. 441 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,384 GOD FORGIVES. 442 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,652 - WELL, HE MIGHT, 443 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,787 BUT ONLY AFTER BUCKETS OF ATONEMENT. 444 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,124 LUST WITHIN THE BOSOM OF THE FAMILY 445 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,525 IS A VILE SIN! 446 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:02,162 - THERE WAS NO BOSOM. IT WAS OVER THE SHIRT. 447 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:06,199 - [playsPachelbel's Canon] 448 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,934 - IS THAT GREEN DAY? 449 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,736 - OH, HEY. 450 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,471 - OWEN, RIGHT? - YEAH. 451 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,474 HI, JENNA. - SORRY TO INTERRUPT. 452 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,908 IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE PLAYING BASKET CASE. 453 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,744 AND THAT WAS, LIKE, MY FAVORITE SONG AS A KID. 454 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,279 - WELL, TECHNICALLY YOU'RE RIGHT. 455 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,714 BUT I PREFER THE CLASSICAL VERSION. 456 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,816 PACHELBEL'S CANON IN "D." 457 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:28,088 * 458 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,456 - WOW. 459 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,324 - WELL, NOTHING SAYS PUNK ROCK LIKE RIPPING OFF 460 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,626 A DEAD 17TH CENTURY COMPOSER, SO... 461 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,762 [plays Symphony No. 5] 462 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,298 - OH, IS THAT THAT ROBIN THICKE ONE, 463 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,299 WHEN I GET YOU ALONE? 464 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,667 - SLIGHTLY MORE OBVIOUS, 465 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,370 BETTER KNOWN AS BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH. 466 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:49,309 * 467 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,078 - THAT IS SO COOL. - YEP. 468 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,446 YOU WERE A CLASSICAL MUSIC FAN, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. 469 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,248 - HEY, I'M SORRY I WAS SO RUDE EARLIER. 470 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,949 I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE. 471 00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,387 - OH, NO WORRIES. 472 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:03,156 - WELL, IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU, 473 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,257 AND I BETTER GO. 474 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,094 - LOOK FOR SOMEONE. GOT IT. 475 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,496 - BYE. 476 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,164 - OOH. 477 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,765 - MOM, I'M SORRY I'VE GIVEN YOU 478 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,567 SO MUCH [bleep] THESE PAST FEW MONTHS. 479 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,736 - MATTY, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. 480 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,106 YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH THE [bleep] WRINGER. 481 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,273 - MOM. 482 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,774 - DON'T TELL YOUR FATHER. 483 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:26,146 BUT AFTER A FEW PINOT GRIGIOS, I TURN INTO CHRIS ROCK. 484 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:29,749 I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE SORRY. 485 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:32,919 I REALLY--I COULD'VE HANDLED THINGS SO MUCH BETTER. 486 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:36,189 I'M NOT EXACTLY A PERFECT MOTHER. 487 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,959 - WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY THE PERFECT SON. 488 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,895 - THANKS. 489 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,933 - MIDNIGHT WAS APPROACHING, AND NO SIGN OF MATTY. 490 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,569 HE SAID HE WANTED TO BE TOGETHER, BUT WHERE WAS HE? 491 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,570 HEY. 492 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,738 HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MATTY? 493 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,005 - NO. - I DID. 494 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,374 HE TOOK OFF WITH SOME OLDER CHICK. 495 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,675 - HIS MOM? 496 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,377 - I THINK HIS MOM'S WITH YOUR MOM. 497 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,545 HELLO, HELL FROZEN OVER. 498 00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,846 ANYONE HAVE A FIRE POPSICLE? 499 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,381 - IT WAS SOME HOT COUGAR CHICK 500 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,184 WHO WAS TOTALLY HAMMERED AND SO READY TO THROW DOWN. 501 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,253 - PETE, FOCUS. 502 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,155 - NOT ONLY DID MATTY NOT CARE ABOUT BEING TOGETHER 503 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,157 AT MIDNIGHT, BUT HE CLEARLY WASN'T REALLY WORRIED 504 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,159 ABOUT OUR NO-HOOK-UP PACT EITHER. 505 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,161 ALL I KNEW WAS I DIDN'T WANT TO START A NEW YEAR 506 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,562 FEELING REJECTED BY HIM. 507 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,896 BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. 508 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:21,168 AND THE NEW YEAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE...NEW. 509 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:23,703 - [plays piano] 510 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,472 [music stops] 511 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,708 - DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS? 512 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,180 - HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN JENNA? 513 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,347 - MM. 514 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,249 - TEN SECONDS TO MIDNIGHT! 515 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:40,887 all: TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, 516 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:44,191 FIVE, FOUR, THREE, 517 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,458 TWO, ONE! 518 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,493 HAPPY NEW YEAR! 519 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,696 - * ALL WE GOTTA DO 520 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,665 * IS KEEP THIS SECRET 521 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,735 * WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET 522 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,670 * WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET 523 00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,841 * ALL WE GOTTA DO 524 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,811 * IS KEEP THIS SECRET 525 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,847 * WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET 526 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,716 * WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET 527 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:13,820 * ALL WE GOTTA DO 528 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,756 * IS KEEP THIS SECRET 529 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:20,059 * WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET 530 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,995 * 531 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,937 MATTY AND I HAD BOTH FAILED AT OUR NO-HOOK-UP PACT, 532 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,605 BUT NOT AT RENEWING OUR FRIENDSHIP. 533 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:36,142 OWEN AND I HADN'T EXCHANGED NUMBERS OR EVEN LAST NAMES. 534 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,710 HE WAS THE PERFECT MIDNIGHT KISS-- 535 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,878 NO COMPLICATIONS. 536 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,247 AND WE ONLY WENT TO SECOND BASE, 537 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,648 SO AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED, 538 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,115 I HAD A VERY CLEAN SLATE. 539 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,252 OH, LOOK WHO CAME UP FOR AIR. 540 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,887 - MY FACE IS ACTUALLY SORE FROM MAKING OUT WITH PETE. 541 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,689 HE IS CROSSED OFF MY "[bleep] IT" LIST. 542 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,024 - GROSS. I'M GLAD MY MIDNIGHT KISS WASN'T LIKE THAT. 543 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,461 - YOU BROKE THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT? 544 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,263 - WELL, IF YOU CALL KISSING MY MOM ON THE CHEEK 545 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,497 BREAKING THE PACT. 546 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,266 WHICH I WOULDN'T, BECAUSE IT'S GROSS. 547 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,834 - YEAH, I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE KISSING ANY OLD MOMS. 548 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,870 - WAIT, YOUR MOM? - YEAH, I TALKED TO HER. 549 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,805 IT WAS REALLY GOOD. - GOOD. 550 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:06,873 - WHERE WERE YOU AT MIDNIGHT, JENNA? 551 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,175 - YEAH, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU. 552 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,110 - UH... 553 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,947 DOES THAT GUY GO TO OUR SCHOOL? 554 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:15,748 - OWEN? 555 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,049 SOPHOMORE IN ORCHESTRA. 556 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,319 WHO CARES? WHERE WERE YOU AT MIDNIGHT? 557 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,153 [gasps] OH, MY GOD, DID YOU BREAK THE PACT? 558 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,856 - MY CLEAN SLATE HAD SUDDENLY BECOME A BIT DIRTY. 559 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,058 NOT ONLY DID I BREAK THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT, 560 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,660 BUT I DID IT WITH A SOPHOMORE. 561 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,129 NO, I WAS WITH MY MOM ALSO. 562 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,664 - [laughs] - OUTSIDE. 563 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,899 SHE WAS PUKING. - MM. 564 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,702 WOW. LOOKS LIKE WE DID IT. 565 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,770 ALTHOUGH YOU OWE ME A MIDNIGHT KISS. 566 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,907 - MAKE THAT A VERY DIRTY SLATE. 567 00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,745 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... - JENNA! 568 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,913 YOU HAD NO IDEA I WENT HERE, DID YOU? 569 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,247 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 570 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,982 - WE ARE HELPING OUT AT THE CAREER FAIR. 571 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,451 - THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU. 572 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,885 - FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, JUST SAY IT, DARLING. 573 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:53,886 - THIS IS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. 574 00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,221 - TODAY WAS THE DAY THAT 575 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,056 SCU SENT OUT THEIR ADMISSIONS DECISSIONS. 576 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,091 ANY MINUTE NOW, I'D RECEIVE AN EMAIL 577 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,927 THAT COULD CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER. 578 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,129 - I'M IN! JENNA? - UM... 39827

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