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1
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,577
- PREVIOUSLY ON
AWKWARD...
2
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,112
- YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.
3
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,580
YOU'RE NOT ANYTHING.
AND IF YOU EVER COME BACK HERE,
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:13,881
THEN I WILL TELL EVERYBODY
THE TRUTH.
5
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,116
- I FEEL BAD ABOUT
HOW WE ENDED THINGS.
6
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,817
- HE SAID I WAS A GOOD PERSON.
7
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,519
- THAT SON OF A BITCH.
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,588
- JENNA, I'M SORRY
FOR NOT TRUSTING YOU.
9
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,259
- NEW YEAR'S EVE--
10
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,560
A NIGHT FOR SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO THE OLD
11
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,595
AND HELLO TO THE NEW.
12
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,962
"THE OLD" BEING PSYCHO EVA
13
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,598
WHO ALMOST DESTROYED
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH MATTY
14
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,766
WHILE SABOTAGING
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE.
15
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,035
YET, IT WAS HIGH TIME
TO USHER IN THE NEW
16
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,370
WITH A QUIET NIGHT AT HOME.
17
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,240
JUST ME, MATTY,
AND A BOTTLE OF CHEAP CHAMPAGNE.
18
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,508
- ARE YOU HAVING
SOME ROMANTIC RENDEZVOUS
19
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,775
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
20
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,211
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST
YOU AND MATTY.
21
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,412
- IT IS.
22
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,180
- OH.
- IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
23
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,348
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
24
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,649
MATTY ASKED TO COME OVER
TONIGHT
25
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,184
AND I THOUGHT
I'D MAKE IT SPECIAL
26
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,353
SINCE THIS IS OUR
LAST NEW YEAR'S EVE TOGETHER.
27
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,921
- WAIT, IF IT'S
JUST YOU AND MATTY,
28
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,090
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
AT MIDNIGHT?
29
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,858
ARE YOU GONNA KISS?
- NO.
30
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,560
THAT'S NOT WHAT
THIS IS ABOUT.
31
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,628
- ALL I'M SAYING IS
YOU'RE BOTH SINGLE
32
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,163
AND ON THE REBOUND.
33
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,031
HE MAY HAVE A DIFFERENT IDEA
OF WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
34
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,366
[phone chimes]
35
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,301
YOUR FATHER KEEPS
DRUNK-DIALING ME.
36
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,736
HE SHOULD'VE JUST GONE
37
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,338
TO ALLY'S PARTY WITH ME
INSTEAD OF BRO-ING OUT
38
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,374
AT SOME STUPID FOOTBALL GAME.
39
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:14,875
HI, HON.
40
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:18,746
I KNOW I'M HOTTER
THAN THOSE CHEERLEADERS!
41
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,315
- WOULD MATTY REALLY EXPECT
A KISS AT MIDNIGHT?
42
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,016
IS THAT WHY HE INVITED
HIMSELF OVER?
43
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,486
I HIGHLY DOUBTED IT,
BUT WHEN IT CAME TO MATTY,
44
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,854
I'D BEEN WRONG BEFORE.
45
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,822
[phone buzzes]
46
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,224
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
47
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,892
- "HAPPY"? HAPPY?
48
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,494
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE
A HAPPY NEW YEAR
49
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,862
WHEN YOU'VE ABANDONED ME
LIKE A BABY
50
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,230
IN A DUMPSTER
OUTSIDE OF PROM?
51
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,365
- I'M SORRY.
52
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,966
MATTY WANTED A QUIET NIGHT IN.
53
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,368
I DON'T THINK HE'S READY
TO DEAL
54
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,002
WITH PEOPLE ASKING HIM
ABOUT EVA.
55
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,037
- MAYBE HE CAN CHOOSE ANOTHER
NIGHT TO PLAY J.D. SALINGER?
56
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,773
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE
MY NEW YEAR'S AULD LANG SUCK.
57
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,241
- IT'S NOT JUST HIM.
58
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,377
I THOUGHT I'D BE SPENDING
TONIGHT WITH LUKE.
59
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,779
JUST NOT UP
TO PARTYING RIGHT NOW.
60
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,815
- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO,
ROLL SOLO TO YOGURTLAND?
61
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,049
[doorbell rings]
62
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,385
- OKAY, HEY, I GOTTA GO.
63
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:59,052
MATTY'S HERE,
BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR,
64
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,355
AND I'LL TALK TO YOU
TOMORROW.
65
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,358
[dreamy music]
66
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,593
*
67
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,728
[both mumbling, laughing]
68
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,864
both: HEY!
- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
69
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,636
- ARE WE EARLY?
WERE YOU GUYS HAVING DINNER?
70
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,639
- NOPE.
TAMARA'S ON HER WAY.
71
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,210
AND THE TABLE IS
FOR MY PARENTS.
72
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,611
- HI, MATTY.
73
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,646
DO YOU LIKE THE TABLE
JENNA SET UP FOR YOU TWO?
74
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,016
SHE SPENT ALL DAY COOKING.
75
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,524
- MY SOLO NIGHT WITH MATTY
76
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,091
HAD TURNED
INTO A GROUP AFFAIR.
77
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,661
SO MUCH FOR ANY CHANCE
OF A MIDNIGHT KISS,
78
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,363
BUT IT WAS NICE TO HAVE
MY CLOSEST FRIENDS
79
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,731
BACK TOGETHER,
DRAMA-FREE.
80
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:45,333
- "I RESOLVE TO SHAVE."
81
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,602
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY FOR JAKE
TO GET RID OF HIS 2:00 SHADOW.
82
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,971
- NOPE, I WROTE THAT ONE FOR YOU
TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS.
83
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,673
[laughter]
84
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,542
- FUN RESOLUTION GAME, JENNA.
85
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,876
THANKS FOR INVITING ME
86
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,511
TO YOUR EXCLUSIVE PARTY
AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE.
87
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,646
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
88
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:01,048
MATTY, YOUR TURN.
89
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,450
- [clears throat]
90
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,918
"I RESOLVE
TO STOP DATING PSYCHOS
91
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,987
WHO FAKE THEIR PREGNANCY."
92
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,456
- YOU GUYS, WHO WROTE THAT?
93
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,658
NOT COOL.
- EVERYONE, RELAX.
94
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,593
I WROTE IT FOR MYSELF.
IT'S A JOKE.
95
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,928
- YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
- YEAH.
96
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,129
WE CAN JOKE ABOUT THINGS.
97
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,031
PLEASE, IT MAKES ME
FEEL NORMAL.
98
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,334
- "NORMAL."
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORD.
99
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,536
AND MATTY AND I WERE ON
THE PATH BACK TO NORMALCY.
100
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,472
BUT WHAT WAS NORMAL FOR US?
101
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,874
FRIENDS?
OR SOMETHING MORE?
102
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,480
- PASS THESE.
- HI, TY TY.
103
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,014
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
104
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,549
THAT'S LISSA'S FAKE BROTHER,
NOT A WAITER.
105
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,418
- OH, MY BAD.
106
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:40,621
- AND THAT'S MY FRIEND,
SERGIO, YOU RACIST.
107
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,290
NO ONE HERE IS THE HELP.
108
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,691
- UH, YEAH. YOU ARE.
109
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,892
WHY DO YOU THINK I TOLD
110
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,294
YOU AND BLONDIE
TO WEAR BLACK AND WHITE
111
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,328
AND INVITE YOUR FRIENDS?
112
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,362
[doorbell rings]
OOH.
113
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,497
THAT MUST BE MY PI PHI DELTS.
114
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:53,634
HOLD ON TO YOUR BRAS, BITCHES.
115
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,136
WHAT UP, SLUTS?
116
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,137
[all cheering]
117
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,506
- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
118
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,709
- HI.
HI.
119
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,650
- OH, COULD YOU HOLD BRONSON?
120
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,885
- [baby spits]
- [gasps]
121
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,455
- OH, I'M SO SORRY.
122
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:17,057
HABLAS INGLES?
123
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,895
- ALLY WANTS A PARTY?
I'LL GIVE HER A PARTY.
124
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,964
THIS THING IS GOING WIDE.
125
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,334
"COME TO 16 LAS RICAS PLACE
126
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,969
"FOR THE BIGGEST
NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH EVER.
127
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,740
TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS."
128
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,344
[phones ring, chime, honk]
129
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,811
- SADIE'S HAVING A PARTY
AT HER AUNT'S HOUSE.
130
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,014
WE SHOULD GO,
NOT THAT THIS ISN'T FUN.
131
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,584
- MY MOM'S THERE.
WHO WOULD WANT TO GO TO THAT?
132
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,353
- UH, A LOT OF PEOPLE.
133
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,854
- LET'S GO.
134
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,356
- I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
TO HAVE A QUIET NIGHT.
135
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,123
- OH, THAT'S WHY THIS
IS SO LAME.
136
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,625
- NO, THIS HAS BEEN GREAT,
137
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,727
BUT SADIE'S COULD BE FUN TOO.
138
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:54,962
- I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE
139
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,097
YOU'D WANT TO TALK OR--
- ENOUGH.
140
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,767
ARE YOU TWO PLAYING FOR GOLD
IN THE OLYMPIC LAMES?
141
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,370
JENNA, MATTY,
STOP MOPING.
142
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,371
MOVE ON.
143
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,438
[bleep] IT!
144
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,107
- YEAH. WHAT SHE SAID.
[bleep] IT.
145
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,809
- YOU KNOW WHAT? WE SHOULD MAKE
A [bleep] IT LIST.
146
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,243
EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT
WE COULDN'T DO,
147
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,713
'CAUSE WE WERE TOO SAD
OR TOO SCARED,
148
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,114
WE SHOULD JUST CARPE DO IT!
149
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,984
Y.O.G.O.--
YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE.
150
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,587
SO SKIP CLASS
AND HOOK UP WITH A RANDO,
151
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,721
AND GO TO SADIE'S RAGER.
152
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,390
- HELL YEAH.
153
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,091
[clears throat]
- WHOO.
154
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,660
ONLY PROBLEM IS I DON'T
WANT TO HOOK UP WITH A RANDO.
155
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,928
- YEAH, ME EITHER.
156
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,197
HEY, I HAVE
A RESOLUTION FOR US.
157
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,965
EH, IT'S MORE OF A PACT.
158
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,301
- OKAY.
- NEITHER OF US HOOKS UP.
159
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,703
IF WE SEE THE OTHER FLIRTING,
160
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,405
THEN WE SWOOP IN
AND STOP IT LIKE A--
161
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,607
- REVERSE WINGMAN.
- SO CAN WE GO?
162
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,142
- WHY DID MATTY MAKE
THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT?
163
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,077
WAS IT FOR FUN
OR DID HE WANT TO MAKE SURE
164
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,479
WE WERE TOGETHER
AT MIDNIGHT?
165
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,881
MAYBE THERE REALLY WAS
A KISS IN OUR FUTURE.
166
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:51,485
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO.
167
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,887
- WHY DID ALLY INVITE
BARBARA MCKIBBEN?
168
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,955
SHE HATES ME.
169
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,457
- SHE INVITED THE ENTIRE P.T.A.
170
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,959
ODDS ARE SHE WAS DRUNK
AT THE TIME.
171
00:05:58,959 --> 00:05:59,960
- MMM.
172
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,161
- KAMIKAZE, DADDY?
173
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,596
MOMMY?
- MMM. THANKS, HONEY.
174
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,932
- YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK
HARD ALCOHOL, MISSY.
175
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,700
- BUT THERE'S THAT BOTTLE
OF VODKA IN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER.
176
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,235
- IT'S TOUGH ON STAINS.
177
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,472
TYLER, I'LL TAKE WHATEVER
YOU HAVE.
178
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,441
THANK YOU.
179
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,442
- MMM.
180
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,576
MMM.
- SHOT?
181
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:19,847
- OH, NO, THANKS.
I'M ON A CLEANSE.
182
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,516
- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
183
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,453
I HAVE
AN 18-YEAR UNBROKEN STREAK
184
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,654
OF THROWING KICK-ASS PARTIES.
185
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,988
IT DOES NOT END TONIGHT!
186
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,023
TIME TO PUT SOME SPICE
ON THIS ICE.
187
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,459
- ICE LUGE!
188
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,661
SADIE TEXTED ME SAYING
THERE IS AN ICE LUGE!
189
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,995
- I AM SO EXCITED.
190
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,197
I HOPE THAT
DUMB YUM WRESTLER PETE IS HERE.
191
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,732
HE'S NUMBER ONE ON
MY [bleep] IT LIST.
192
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,468
I NEED TO FINISH WHAT
I STARTED IN SNOW VALLEY
193
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,269
AND TAP HIM OUT.
- [grunts]
194
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,338
HOLLA, PARTY PEOPLE!
195
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,942
WHO'S READY TO GET
THIS NEW YEAR'S JAM ON?
196
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,243
[door closes]
197
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,747
- OH.
198
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,683
- NICE ONE.
- HEY, GUYS.
199
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,985
I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.
200
00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,053
THIS PARTY IS SO LAME.
201
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,122
AND JENNA'S FATHER
ABANDONED ME TO GO
202
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,124
TO SOME STUPID SPLENDA BOWL.
203
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,493
both: SUGAR.
- WHATEVER.
204
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,961
WHICH LEAVES ME HERE
WITH VAL WHO I LOVE,
205
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,565
BUT...
206
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,700
YOU KNOW?
207
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:13,734
- HI, MATTY.
208
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,369
TAMELA, JAKE, JENNA.
209
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,105
- MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
210
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,773
- ALLY INVITED ME.
211
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,075
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HERE.
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE.
212
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,644
- WELL, I DO.
213
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,179
- LOOKS LIKE MATTY NEEDED
LESS OF A COCK BLOCK
214
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,648
AND MORE OF AN EMOTIONAL ROCK.
215
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,751
HE AND HIS MOM WERE CLEARLY
STILL NOT ON GOOD TERMS.
216
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,285
[doorbell rings]
217
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,156
- IT'S A NEW YEAR'S MIRACLE!
218
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,225
[all cheering]
219
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,428
[energetic dance music]
220
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:45,065
*
221
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,266
- WELCOME, EVERYBODY!
222
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,136
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
223
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,538
- WHAT DID YOU DO?
224
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:54,141
- I INVITED
THE ENTIRE SCHOOL...DISTRICT.
225
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,043
YOUR GERIATRIC SNORE-FEST
226
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:59,279
JUST TURNED INTO
A HIGH SCHOOL RAGER.
227
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,782
- THANK YOU.
228
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,451
- SO MUCH FOR A NIGHT
OF GETTING CLOSER TO MATTY.
229
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,423
I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE
HALF THE PEOPLE THERE
230
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,725
AND HADN'T SEEN MATTY
FOR AN HOUR.
231
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,093
THE WAY THINGS WERE GOING,
232
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,628
WE'D NEVER BE TOGETHER
AT MIDNIGHT.
233
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,463
- THERE'S PETE.
I'M GOING IN.
234
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,600
BUT FIRST,
SOME LIQUID COURAGE.
235
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,338
- HEY. EXCUSE ME.
236
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,607
WHEW.
237
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,641
THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL.
238
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,176
BETTER LET ME GET IT FOR YOU.
239
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,678
- [clears throat]
240
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,380
- CAN I SEE SOME I.D., SON?
241
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,748
- UH, I-I, UH--
- DON'T HAVE ONE?
242
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,216
LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE
TO CUFF YOU.
243
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,986
- OFFICER,
I'VE BEEN BAD.
244
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,988
CUFF ME.
245
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,590
[dance music]
246
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,791
- THAT FAKE-OUT
WAS PRETTY GOOD,
247
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,192
BUT I KNEW YOU HIRED
A STRIPPER.
248
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,027
I TOTALLY KNEW THAT.
I'M GONNA NEED A DRINK.
249
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,230
- I'M TAKING
ALL YOU FINE LADIES DOWN...
250
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,832
TOWN.
251
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:52,966
- WHOO!
252
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,467
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
253
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,604
- NEVER HAD COCK-BLOCKING
BEEN SO LITERAL.
254
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:59,306
HOW WAS HANGING WITH MATTY
SO HARD?
255
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,274
WRONG WORD.
DIFFICULT.
256
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,676
[all shouting, whistling]
257
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,078
- HEY, DO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHOSE PARTY THIS IS?
258
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,714
I JUST HEARD IT'S LIKE
A FORMER RICH BITCH
259
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,248
WHOSE MOM JUST,
LIKE, BAILED ON HER
260
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,283
AND NOW SHE HAS TO LIVE AT HOME
WITH HER DRUNK AUNT.
261
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752
SO DARK.
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S DARK?
262
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,721
THE DUNGEON WHERE I KEEP
RUDE PEOPLE WHO RUN THEIR MOUTH.
263
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,789
YOU WANT TO SEE IT?
264
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,492
- I DON'T NEED YOU
TO DEFEND ME.
265
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,028
- YOWZER.
266
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,064
THERE'S A COUGAR IS
ON THE PROWL.
267
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,265
- I'M NATALIE.
268
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,467
OH, DO YOU GUYS GO TO SCU?
269
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,370
- UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
270
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,805
- COLLEGE WAS
SUCH A GREAT TIME.
271
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,473
- IT'S GREAT.
- YEAH.
272
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,342
- SO WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR?
273
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:36,877
- HE'S IN BEAUTY SCHOOL.
274
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,647
HE'S TOTALLY CHANGED
MY APPROACH TO EYE SHADOW.
275
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,714
- SHE THOUGHT
SHE WAS AN AUTUMN.
276
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,282
[laughs]
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
277
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,484
- I CAN'T BELIEVE WHATEVER
IT IS YOU'RE DOING.
278
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,354
- HEY, JAKE.
PLAY US A SONG.
279
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,356
- OH.
- OH, ARE YOU A SINGER?
280
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,125
- I AM WHATEVER YOU WANT ME
281
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,361
* TO BE
282
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,463
[vocalizing]
283
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,198
* GIRL
284
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,933
- I KNOW SOMEONE ELSE
285
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,103
WHO WOULD LOVE THE SOUND
OF YOUR VOICE.
286
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,337
COME UPSTAIRS.
287
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,940
- UPSTAIRS?
288
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,643
- [mouths silently]
THREESOME.
289
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:16,784
- [chuckles]
290
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,787
- THAT'S MADISON.
291
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,554
DO YOU KNOW ANY LULLABIES?
292
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,591
- OH.
UM...
293
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,959
- * HEY, DJ
294
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,161
- HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHAT AN "AUTUMN" IS?
295
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,196
- COSMO.
296
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,198
- COCK-BLOCKING MATTY
WAS KIND OF FUN.
297
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,866
THIS WASN'T HOW I THOUGHT
WE'D RECONNECT,
298
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,302
BUT HEY,
WHEN IN ROME OR ALLY'S.
299
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,170
- HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
300
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,205
- OH, UM, I'M--
301
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,807
- OH, SO SORRY
TO INTERRUPT, JENNA,
302
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,710
BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS HUGE BAT
IN THE CAVE.
303
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,278
SHE'S GETTING OVER
A NASTY COLD, MAN.
304
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,513
[groans]
305
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,448
HEY, DUDE,
THIS KEG IS KICKED!
306
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,818
- I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
307
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,619
- MATTY WASN'T GETTING AWAY
THAT EASY.
308
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,955
WAIT, MATTY WAS GETTING AWAY.
309
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:58,158
- HEY, I'M OWEN.
- NICE TO MEET YOU, OWEN.
310
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,728
- ISN'T THIS
THE BEST PARTY EVER?
311
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,129
- YEAH, IT'S FULL OF KIDS.
312
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,630
DON'T YOU FEEL
A LITTLE OUT OF PLACE?
313
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,299
- HONEY, JUST RELAX.
HAVE FUN.
314
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,802
I'M GONNA GET A WINE COOLER.
DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?
315
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:11,972
- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
316
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,306
[cheers and applause]
317
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,542
- LOOKS LIKE
YOUR MOM'S HAVING FUN.
318
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,244
- YEAH, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
319
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,312
- HEY, AT LEAST YOUR MOM KNOWS
HOW TO HAVE FUN.
320
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,915
- HAVE YOU TALKED TO HER
ABOUT ANYTHING?
321
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,516
- I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TALK TO HER.
322
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,618
- REMEMBER
WHEN MY MOM WROTE ME
323
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:26,887
THE CAREFRONTATION LETTER?
324
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,488
- YEAH, THAT WAS BRUTAL.
325
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,890
- BEYOND.
326
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,658
AND I THOUGHT
I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE HER,
327
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,327
BUT I'M GLAD I DID.
328
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,529
I REALIZED THAT ADULTS ARE
JUST PEOPLE,
329
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,531
MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG.
330
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,467
YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER.
331
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:44,671
- YEAH, MAYBE I'LL TRY.
332
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,139
- WE NEED TO FIND
SOMEPLACE PRIVATE.
333
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,309
- ANYWHERE.
I NEED TO KISS YOU.
334
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,778
- AAH!
335
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,379
OH, MY GOD!
336
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,047
DADDY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
337
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,182
- LISSA!
338
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,650
THIS MAN TOLD ME
HE WAS A POLICE OFFICER!
339
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,886
I SWEAR.
340
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,789
- YOU MEAN HE MADE YOU
LICK HIS TUMMY?
341
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,426
- WHA--
342
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,695
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
343
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,797
LISSA?
344
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,664
- I SAW DADDY--
345
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,968
I SAW A DADDY LONGLEGS.
346
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,804
- OH.
WELL, KILL IT.
347
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:20,007
THEY'RE OPENING A '95 MOET
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
348
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:22,042
COME, TYLER.
- I'D LOVE SOME BUBBLY.
349
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,312
LET'S GO.
- [laughs]
350
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,348
- OKAY, WHAT WERE
YOU REALLY SCREAMING AT?
351
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,483
- I THINK MY DAD MIGHT BE GAY.
352
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,718
- OKAY.
353
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,654
HE IS SO GAY.
354
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,956
HIS OBSESSION
WITH SPIN CLASS,
355
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,825
SHOES, AND JESUS' ABS
TIPS IT OFF.
356
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,393
RELAX.
IT'S A GOOD THING.
357
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,195
NOW HE CAN FINALLY COME OUT,
INSTEAD OF HIDING
358
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,131
IN THAT CLOSET FULL
OF YELLOW PANTS.
359
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,398
YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR MOM.
360
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,300
- I CAN'T!
THAT WOULD KILL HER.
361
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,569
IS IT EVEN MY SECRET TO TELL?
362
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,639
JESUS DOES HAVE GREAT ABS.
363
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,843
[dance music]
364
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,878
- YOU'VE GOT GREAT MOVES,
TAMARA.
365
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,580
- YOU DON'T KNOW
THE HALF OF IT.
366
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,950
[plays guitar]
367
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,317
- YOU'RE AMAZING.
368
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,653
IT USUALLY TAKES FOREVER
FOR HER TO FALL ASLEEP.
369
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,756
- I'M HAPPY TO HELP.
SHE'S REALLY CUTE.
370
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,059
- YOU'RE REALLY CUTE.
371
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,197
- WHO DO YOU HAVE THERE?
372
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,565
- SHE WAS MY HORSE.
373
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,301
- "WAS" YOUR HORSE?
DID SHE QUIT?
374
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,769
- NO, I HAD HER
WHEN I WAS RICH,
375
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,772
BEFORE MY DAD WENT TO PRISON
AND MY MOM ABANDONED ME.
376
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,975
- I'M SORRY, SADITA.
377
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,242
- DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME.
378
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,710
- I'LL DO WHAT I WANT TO, BITCH.
379
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,613
- PUSSY.
380
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,983
- WHERE'S JAKE?
IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT.
381
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,617
I WANTED US ALL TO BE TOGETHER.
382
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,987
- I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT
TO INTERRUPT HIM RIGHT NOW.
383
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,689
- SO WHERE'S TAMARA?
384
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,591
AH, OKAY.
385
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,592
SHE'S OUT.
386
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,927
- JUST YOU AND ME.
387
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,561
LET'S FIND SOME FANCY BOOZE
FOR OUR MIDNIGHT TOAST.
388
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,796
- PERFECT.
389
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,332
SO IT WOULD BE JUST
ME AND MATTY AT MIDNIGHT,
390
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,634
A NEW YEAR STARTING OFF
WITH A LOT OF PROMISE.
391
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,903
OH.
392
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,571
LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOM'S HAVING
A GREAT TIME...
393
00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,639
WITH MY MOM.
394
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,508
OH, GOD.
THEY'RE COMING TOWARDS US.
395
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,510
- WHAT UP, KIDS?
- HI, GUYS!
396
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,379
- WHAT UP...MOMS?
[laughter]
397
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,747
- ARE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?
398
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,316
- YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- [blows raspberry]
399
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,951
- IT TURNS OUT LACEY
AND I HAVE A LOT MORE
400
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,352
IN COMMON
THAN WE THOUGHT.
401
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,821
WE'RE GONNA START
A BOOK AND WINE CLUB.
402
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,757
- OR MAYBE JUST WINE.
- RIGHT, MAYBE JUST WINE.
403
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,792
- I HAD NEVER SEEN
MATTY'S MOM LIKE THIS.
404
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,728
SHE SEEMED HUMAN.
405
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,163
- [chuckles]
406
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,497
- OH, NO.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
407
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,299
I WANT TO HANG
WITH MY NEW BESTIE, BARB.
408
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,935
- YOU HAVE TO LET THEM TALK.
409
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,003
- NEW BESTIE? WHAT?
410
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,838
[thud]
OH, COME ON.
411
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,273
- BETTER GO DO DAMAGE CONTROL.
412
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,943
- VAL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
I DIDN'T!
413
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,411
- LOOKED LIKE MATTY AND I
HAD A LOT TO CELEBRATE.
414
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,148
I NEEDED TO FIND SOMETHING NICE
FOR OUR MIDNIGHT TOAST.
415
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,183
I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT.
416
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,822
- TYLER, I FEEL LIKE I'VE BARELY
SEEN YOU ALL NIGHT.
417
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,392
- I'VE BEEN SHOWING HIM
AROUND THE HOUSE.
418
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,327
- AREN'T WE
AN ATTENTIVE LITTLE HOSTESS?
419
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,796
BUT LET'S
NOT MONOPOLIZE HIM, OKAY?
420
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,331
- YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT,
LISSA.
421
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,134
YOU NEED TO SHARE.
422
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,970
- YOU'RE RIGHT, DADDY,
423
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,737
WE SHOULD ALL SHARE.
424
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,774
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
YOU WANT TO SHARE?
425
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,742
PLEASE?
426
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,044
- NO.
427
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,779
- WELL, THEN,
428
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,015
I DO.
429
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:18,618
I DON'T THINK IT'S HEALTHY
TO LIVE A LIE.
430
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,555
SO I WANT TO SHARE THAT--
431
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,357
THAT...
432
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,994
I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER!
433
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,895
- [gasps]
434
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,331
- NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING
YOU TO SAY,
435
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,600
BUT IMPRESSIVE NONETHELESS.
436
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,601
- WORD.
437
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,203
- AH, I FEEL
SO MUCH BETTER NOW.
438
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:40,907
DADDY, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY?
439
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:46,013
- YES, I DO.
440
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,016
I'M SO GLAD YOU CONFESSED
YOUR SINS, LISSA.
441
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,384
GOD FORGIVES.
442
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,652
- WELL, HE MIGHT,
443
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,787
BUT ONLY AFTER BUCKETS
OF ATONEMENT.
444
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,124
LUST WITHIN THE BOSOM
OF THE FAMILY
445
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,525
IS A VILE SIN!
446
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:02,162
- THERE WAS NO BOSOM.
IT WAS OVER THE SHIRT.
447
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:06,199
- [playsPachelbel's Canon]
448
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,934
- IS THAT GREEN DAY?
449
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,736
- OH, HEY.
450
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,471
- OWEN, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
451
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,474
HI, JENNA.
- SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
452
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,908
IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE YOU
WERE PLAYING BASKET CASE.
453
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,744
AND THAT WAS, LIKE,
MY FAVORITE SONG AS A KID.
454
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,279
- WELL,
TECHNICALLY YOU'RE RIGHT.
455
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,714
BUT I PREFER
THE CLASSICAL VERSION.
456
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,816
PACHELBEL'S CANON IN "D."
457
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:28,088
*
458
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,456
- WOW.
459
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,324
- WELL, NOTHING SAYS PUNK ROCK
LIKE RIPPING OFF
460
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,626
A DEAD 17TH CENTURY COMPOSER,
SO...
461
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,762
[plays Symphony No. 5]
462
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,298
- OH, IS THAT
THAT ROBIN THICKE ONE,
463
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,299
WHEN I GET YOU ALONE?
464
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,667
- SLIGHTLY MORE OBVIOUS,
465
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,370
BETTER KNOWN
AS BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH.
466
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:49,309
*
467
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,078
- THAT IS SO COOL.
- YEP.
468
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,446
YOU WERE A CLASSICAL MUSIC FAN,
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.
469
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,248
- HEY, I'M SORRY
I WAS SO RUDE EARLIER.
470
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,949
I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.
471
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,387
- OH, NO WORRIES.
472
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:03,156
- WELL, IT WAS NICE
TO SEE YOU,
473
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,257
AND I BETTER GO.
474
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,094
- LOOK FOR SOMEONE.
GOT IT.
475
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,496
- BYE.
476
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,164
- OOH.
477
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,765
- MOM, I'M SORRY
I'VE GIVEN YOU
478
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,567
SO MUCH [bleep]
THESE PAST FEW MONTHS.
479
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,736
- MATTY, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.
480
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,106
YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH
THE [bleep] WRINGER.
481
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,273
- MOM.
482
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,774
- DON'T TELL YOUR FATHER.
483
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:26,146
BUT AFTER A FEW PINOT GRIGIOS,
I TURN INTO CHRIS ROCK.
484
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:29,749
I'M THE ONE
WHO SHOULD BE SORRY.
485
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:32,919
I REALLY--I COULD'VE HANDLED
THINGS SO MUCH BETTER.
486
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:36,189
I'M NOT EXACTLY
A PERFECT MOTHER.
487
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,959
- WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY
THE PERFECT SON.
488
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,895
- THANKS.
489
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,933
- MIDNIGHT WAS APPROACHING,
AND NO SIGN OF MATTY.
490
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,569
HE SAID HE WANTED TO BE
TOGETHER, BUT WHERE WAS HE?
491
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,570
HEY.
492
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,738
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MATTY?
493
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,005
- NO.
- I DID.
494
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,374
HE TOOK OFF WITH
SOME OLDER CHICK.
495
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,675
- HIS MOM?
496
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,377
- I THINK HIS MOM'S
WITH YOUR MOM.
497
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,545
HELLO, HELL FROZEN OVER.
498
00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,846
ANYONE HAVE A FIRE POPSICLE?
499
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,381
- IT WAS SOME HOT COUGAR CHICK
500
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,184
WHO WAS TOTALLY HAMMERED
AND SO READY TO THROW DOWN.
501
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,253
- PETE, FOCUS.
502
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,155
- NOT ONLY DID MATTY
NOT CARE ABOUT BEING TOGETHER
503
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,157
AT MIDNIGHT, BUT HE CLEARLY
WASN'T REALLY WORRIED
504
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,159
ABOUT OUR
NO-HOOK-UP PACT EITHER.
505
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,161
ALL I KNEW WAS I DIDN'T WANT
TO START A NEW YEAR
506
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,562
FEELING REJECTED BY HIM.
507
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,896
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
508
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:21,168
AND THE NEW YEAR IS SUPPOSED
TO BE...NEW.
509
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:23,703
- [plays piano]
510
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,472
[music stops]
511
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,708
- DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS?
512
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,180
- HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN JENNA?
513
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,347
- MM.
514
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,249
- TEN SECONDS TO MIDNIGHT!
515
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:40,887
all: TEN, NINE,
EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX,
516
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:44,191
FIVE, FOUR, THREE,
517
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,458
TWO, ONE!
518
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,493
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
519
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,696
- * ALL WE GOTTA DO
520
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,665
* IS KEEP THIS SECRET
521
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,735
* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
522
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,670
* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
523
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,841
* ALL WE GOTTA DO
524
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,811
* IS KEEP THIS SECRET
525
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,847
* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
526
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,716
* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
527
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:13,820
* ALL WE GOTTA DO
528
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,756
* IS KEEP THIS SECRET
529
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:20,059
* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
530
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,995
*
531
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,937
MATTY AND I HAD BOTH FAILED
AT OUR NO-HOOK-UP PACT,
532
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,605
BUT NOT AT RENEWING
OUR FRIENDSHIP.
533
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:36,142
OWEN AND I HADN'T EXCHANGED
NUMBERS OR EVEN LAST NAMES.
534
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,710
HE WAS
THE PERFECT MIDNIGHT KISS--
535
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,878
NO COMPLICATIONS.
536
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,247
AND WE ONLY WENT
TO SECOND BASE,
537
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,648
SO AS FAR
AS I WAS CONCERNED,
538
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,115
I HAD A VERY CLEAN SLATE.
539
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,252
OH, LOOK
WHO CAME UP FOR AIR.
540
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,887
- MY FACE IS ACTUALLY SORE
FROM MAKING OUT WITH PETE.
541
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,689
HE IS CROSSED OFF
MY "[bleep] IT" LIST.
542
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,024
- GROSS. I'M GLAD MY
MIDNIGHT KISS WASN'T LIKE THAT.
543
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,461
- YOU BROKE
THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT?
544
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,263
- WELL, IF YOU CALL KISSING
MY MOM ON THE CHEEK
545
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,497
BREAKING THE PACT.
546
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,266
WHICH I WOULDN'T,
BECAUSE IT'S GROSS.
547
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,834
- YEAH, I WOULDN'T WANT
TO BE KISSING ANY OLD MOMS.
548
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,870
- WAIT, YOUR MOM?
- YEAH, I TALKED TO HER.
549
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,805
IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
- GOOD.
550
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:06,873
- WHERE WERE YOU
AT MIDNIGHT, JENNA?
551
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,175
- YEAH, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.
552
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,110
- UH...
553
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,947
DOES THAT GUY GO
TO OUR SCHOOL?
554
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:15,748
- OWEN?
555
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,049
SOPHOMORE IN ORCHESTRA.
556
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,319
WHO CARES?
WHERE WERE YOU AT MIDNIGHT?
557
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,153
[gasps] OH, MY GOD,
DID YOU BREAK THE PACT?
558
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,856
- MY CLEAN SLATE HAD SUDDENLY
BECOME A BIT DIRTY.
559
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,058
NOT ONLY DID I BREAK
THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT,
560
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,660
BUT I DID IT WITH
A SOPHOMORE.
561
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,129
NO, I WAS
WITH MY MOM ALSO.
562
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,664
- [laughs]
- OUTSIDE.
563
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,899
SHE WAS PUKING.
- MM.
564
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,702
WOW.
LOOKS LIKE WE DID IT.
565
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,770
ALTHOUGH YOU OWE ME
A MIDNIGHT KISS.
566
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,907
- MAKE THAT A VERY DIRTY SLATE.
567
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,745
- NEXT ON AWKWARD...
- JENNA!
568
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,913
YOU HAD NO IDEA I WENT HERE,
DID YOU?
569
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,247
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
570
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,982
- WE ARE HELPING OUT
AT THE CAREER FAIR.
571
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,451
- THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
572
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,885
- FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST,
JUST SAY IT, DARLING.
573
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:53,886
- THIS IS A LOT HARDER
THAN I THOUGHT.
574
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,221
- TODAY WAS THE DAY THAT
575
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,056
SCU SENT OUT
THEIR ADMISSIONS DECISSIONS.
576
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,091
ANY MINUTE NOW,
I'D RECEIVE AN EMAIL
577
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,927
THAT COULD CHANGE
MY LIFE FOREVER.
578
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,129
- I'M IN! JENNA?
- UM...
39827
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