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1
00:00:09,433 --> 00:00:10,967
- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
- I WANT MATTY TO DATE.
2
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,000
- WHY DON'T YOU SET HIM UP
YOURSELF?
3
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,367
- MAYBE I WILL.
- MATTY AND I KISSED.
4
00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:15,167
- YOU'RE A LIAR, AND I NEED
TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.
5
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:16,300
- WHAT?
6
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,933
- I PROMISE NOT TO INTERFERE
WITH YOU OR EVA.
7
00:00:17,933 --> 00:00:19,133
- WE DON'T NEED
EACH OTHER'S BLESSINGS, JENNA.
8
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:20,400
WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.
9
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,633
- OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT NOW, COME ON.
10
00:00:21,633 --> 00:00:22,567
- WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
11
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,800
- THE NIGHT SO FAR
HAD BEEN AN EPIC FAIL.
12
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,467
THREE GIRLS, THREE FIGHTS,
AND TWO BROKEN HEARTS.
13
00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:31,300
I WAS SICK
OF FIGHTING WITH MATTY.
14
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,567
WHY COULDN'T WE MOVE ON?
15
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:35,467
WHY WAS I LETTING MATTY MCKIBBEN
RUIN ANOTHER NIGHT?
16
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:37,133
I HAD A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE,
17
00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:40,533
AND HE AND A DRAMA-FREE NIGHT
WERE JUST 40 MINUTES AWAY.
18
00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:42,967
TURN THE CAR AROUND.
NOT GOING DOWN LIKE THIS.
19
00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:44,567
WE CAN STILL
MAKE IT TO SCU BY MIDNIGHT
20
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:47,300
AND SPEND OUR NIGHT
WITH REAL MEN, COLLEGE MEN.
21
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,733
WHO'S DOWN
FOR A LITTLE ROAD TRIP?
22
00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:50,200
- HELL TO THE YES.
23
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,967
THEY SAY THE BEST WAY TO GET
OVER SOMEONE--
24
00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:53,100
THAT SOMEONE BEING JAKE--
25
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:54,967
IS TO GET UNDER SOMEONE NEW.
26
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,267
AND THAT SOMEONE NEW IS
A YET-TO-BE-NAMED COLLEGE GUY--
27
00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:58,700
OR GUYS--
28
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,800
WITH THEIR MANLY SCRUFF
AND FIVE-BUTTON CARDIGANS.
29
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,200
EVERY ONE OF THEM
30
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,933
IS LIKE A LIVING, BREATHING
J.CREW CATALOG, ONLY HOTTER.
31
00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:07,067
LET'S FRICKIN' DO THIS.
- LET'S FRICKIN' DO THIS.
32
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,800
- LET'S FRICKIN' NOT!
33
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,967
I NEED YOU
TO TAKE ME HOME, PRONTO.
34
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:12,867
THE ONLY THING WORSE
THAN GETTING DUMPED
35
00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:16,467
IS AN "EAT, PRAY, SUCK"
ROAD TRIP WITH YOU TWO MORONS.
36
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,800
GOOD LUCK WITH "CROSSROADS 2."
37
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,067
- WHAT DID SADIE KNOW?
38
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:22,200
- CROSSROADS
IS AN UNDERAPPRECIATED GEM.
39
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,400
AND LUKE AND HIS BED
40
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,967
WOULD BE THE PERFECT REMEDY
TO EVERYTHING.
41
00:01:25,967 --> 00:01:27,867
SURPRISE!
42
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:34,867
[keys clacking, loud thud]
43
00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:35,867
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
44
00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:37,900
WAS LUKE REALLY CHEATING ON ME?
45
00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,200
I WANTED TO SPEAK,
BUT I COULDN'T FORM WORDS.
46
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,900
LUCKY FOR ME,
I HAD A BEST FRIEND
47
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,300
WHO WAS NEVER
AT A LOSS FOR THEM.
48
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:45,567
- W.T.F.?
A RUB AND TUG WITH A FUG?
49
00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:49,267
THE ONLY ENDING YOU'RE GETTING
TONIGHT IS AN UNHAPPY ONE.
50
00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:50,433
AND YOU?
51
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,067
I MAY LOOK
LIKE A DELICATE FLOWER,
52
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:53,567
BUT I AM A MILLION-DOLLAR BABY.
53
00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:57,067
I WILL GRAB THAT MESSY MOP
AND PULL SO HARD,
54
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:59,233
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO
TO EVERY SUPERCUTS FROM HERE
55
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:01,067
TO OAKLAND TO RE-CREATE
56
00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:03,300
THAT "OH, I JUST ROLLED
OUT OF BED LOOKING LIKE THIS,
57
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,500
LET ME GIVE YOU
A SENSUAL MASSAGE" LOOK.
58
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,467
SO PUT 'EM UP,
'CAUSE IT'S GO TIME, BITCH.
59
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:11,733
- JENNA, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
MY BEST FRIEND, SHAYNE.
60
00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:13,767
- HI.
I'M SHAYNE.
61
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,700
BY THE WAY, I'M GAY.
62
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,967
- GAY OR STRAIGHT?
63
00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:22,433
- DON'T WORRY. MY BROTHER'S BEEN
THROUGH THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.
64
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,800
THEY HOLD US FOR A NIGHT,
65
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,300
THEN WE'RE BROUGHT
BEFORE A JUDGE IN THE MORNING.
66
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,167
WE WILL BE OUT AFTER THAT.
67
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:28,733
- OKAY, RIGHT.
68
00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,067
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
69
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,300
YOU CAN'T DO A NIGHT
IN THE CLINK, BRO?
70
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,367
- OH, NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
71
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,833
I HAD A TON OF BEER BACK THERE.
72
00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:35,400
I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
REALLY BAD.
73
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,133
- THEY HAVE TOILETS INSIDE.
74
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:38,600
- YOU KNOW I'M PEE SHY DUDE.
75
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,400
- GAY OR STRAIGHT?
- STRAIGHT.
76
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,900
- HEY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SAY?
- WE'RE STRAIGHT.
77
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:44,767
- YEAH, BUT WHAT
IF THE GAY WING IS NICER?
78
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,067
[door closes]
79
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,100
- GAY OR STRAIGHT?
80
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,833
- STRAIGHT.
81
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:55,733
- WAIT. WHY WOULD YOU
ASK ME THAT AND NOT HIM?
82
00:02:55,733 --> 00:02:57,100
- [chuckles]
83
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,767
[door slams]
84
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:02,800
[ominous music plays]
85
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:10,200
*
86
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,333
DON'T WE GET ONE PHONE CALL?
87
00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:15,467
- YEAH, WE DO.
88
00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,133
- HOW'S THIS THING WORK?
89
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,633
DO WE NEED WOODEN NICKELS
OR SOMETHING?
90
00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:24,433
- IT'S LIKE THAT GUMBALL
MACHINE, BUT NO, UH, COINS.
91
00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:25,967
COLLECT CALLS ONLY.
92
00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:27,300
- OKAY, WHATEVER.
93
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,500
WHOSE NUMBER DO
WE KNOW BY HEART?
94
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,967
WHAT ABOUT JENNA?
95
00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:33,733
YOU HAVE TO HAVE
HER NUMBER MEMORIZED.
96
00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:36,300
- I'D RATHER DIE IN PRISON
THAN CALL JENNA RIGHT NOW.
97
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,133
- COME ON, MAN.
98
00:03:38,133 --> 00:03:41,100
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE
WHOSE NUMBER WE HAVE MEMORIZED.
99
00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:45,767
[phone beeps]
100
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,367
[phone vibrates]
101
00:03:48,367 --> 00:03:49,800
- HELLO?
102
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,667
- HELLO, THIS IS A COLLECT CALL
FROM THE COUNTY PRISON.
103
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,167
- NOT TONIGHT, ALLY.
104
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,067
GET OUT OF ANOTHER DRUNK-DRIVING
SITCH YOURSELF.
105
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,967
[dial tone]
106
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:05,100
- YO.
107
00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:08,900
- HOLY [bleep], YOU ESCAPED?
108
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,700
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE
YOU'RE IN NOW?
109
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,300
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
110
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,600
I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU
BEFORE THE VIKES HIT THE ZINNY
111
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,067
THAT I GOT A GIRLS' BRUNCH
WITH VAL AND LACEY TOMORROW.
112
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:18,433
WEIRDO.
113
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,400
[phone beeps]
114
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,600
[phone rings]
115
00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:31,300
- I'M SORRY TO JUST BARGE IN.
116
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,900
I WAS JUST MISSING YOU.
- NO SWEAT.
117
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:36,800
IT CAN BE A LITTLE HECTIC
AROUND HERE DURING MIDTERMS.
118
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,133
- "HECTIC"
DIDN'T CAPTURE THE REAL.
119
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:41,333
IT WAS
A FULL-ON SENSORY ASSAULT,
120
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:44,200
A REVOLTING BLEND
OF STANK, RANK, AND JANK.
121
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,667
- DESPERATE TIMES
EQUALS DESPERATE MEASURES,
122
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,967
WHICH EQUALS TAMARA
DIGGING FOR TREASURE
123
00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:52,267
IN THIS FILTHY HEAP
OF BOY SCUZZ.
124
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:57,133
HEY, THERE.
I'M TAMARA.
125
00:04:57,133 --> 00:05:00,067
- [belches]
126
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,167
- NOT SURE THAT WAS THE HEAT
TAMARA HAD IN MIND
127
00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,100
WHEN SHE PLEDGED
TO HOOK UP WITH A COLLEGE GUY.
128
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,900
- O.M. JESUS,
I NEED TO SCRUB
129
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,567
A "TUNA FISH, ROOT BEER,
AND CORN CHIP" BURP
130
00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,267
OFF MY FACE, STAT!
131
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,900
- BATHROOM'S DOWN THE HALL
TO THE--
132
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,067
IT'S COED!
133
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,267
HEY.
134
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:20,200
I'M SORRY.
I REALLY HAVE TO STUDY.
135
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,900
- LUKE WAS PROVING DIFFICULT
TO PIN DOWN.
136
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:27,200
MAYBE I JUST NEEDED TO GET A BIT
MORE CREATIVE IN MY APPROACH.
137
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,267
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
138
00:05:28,267 --> 00:05:29,667
- HOW ABOUT I QUIZ YOU,
139
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:34,133
AND FOR EVERY RIGHT ANSWER,
YOU GET A REWARD.
140
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,733
- OKAY.
141
00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:38,233
- "THE END
OF THE NEUTRALITY ACT
142
00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:41,633
CAME WITH THE PASSAGE
OF THIS LAW IN 1941."
143
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,400
- THE LEASE LEND ACT.
144
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,700
- YES.
145
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,167
- WAIT.
NO, I MISLABELED IT.
146
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:47,667
I THINK IT'S THE LEND LEASE ACT,
I'M PRETTY SURE.
147
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,500
CAN I SEE IT?
148
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,133
YEP.
149
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:55,433
[hip hop music]
150
00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:57,633
[toilet flushes]
151
00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:02,733
- I CAN'T DO THIS.
152
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,200
- I CAN'T DO THIS.
153
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,400
- GO. I'LL FORM A HUMAN SHIELD.
- NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
154
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,867
- THEN WHAT?
- MY...
155
00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:09,900
"SITUATION"...
156
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,767
HAS GRADUATED
FROM A STAND-UP JOB
157
00:06:11,767 --> 00:06:13,067
TO A SIT-DOWN ONE.
158
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,067
- EESH.
159
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:17,400
[prison cell door closes]
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
160
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,100
[buzzer sounds]
161
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,733
UH, HEY, THAT'S MY BUNK.
162
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:28,900
HEY, MAN,
I WAS ASSIGNED THAT BUNK, SO...
163
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:33,333
WHA--OH! UM,
I'LL GO UP IN...HERE.
164
00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:46,600
- WITH LUKE DISTRACTED,
165
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,733
I THOUGHT A NICE VIEW
AND SOME FRESH AIR
166
00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:50,600
WOULD HELP US RECONNECT.
167
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,067
ISN'T IT NICE?
168
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:56,133
PLUS, IT DOESN'T SMELL
LIKE COFFEE AND RITALIN UP HERE.
169
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,433
- [chuckles]
TOTALLY.
170
00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:00,600
- UGH.
SERIOUSLY?
171
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:01,867
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S--JENNA, NO!
172
00:07:01,867 --> 00:07:04,833
- WHAT?
IT'S JUST A NASTY OLD FLIP-FLOP.
173
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,567
- THAT WAS THE DOORSTOP.
174
00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:08,667
IT KEEPS THE DOOR FROM CLOSING.
175
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:09,933
I DON'T HAVE MY PHONE.
176
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,833
CAN YOU CALL TAMARA
AND GET HER TO COME GET US?
177
00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:14,133
- I LEFT MY PHONE DOWNSTAIRS.
178
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:16,533
- GREAT.
NOW WE'RE LOCKED OUT HERE.
179
00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:22,233
- MY EFFORT TO CONNECT WITH LUKE
180
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,167
HAD LEFT US LOCKED OUT
IN THE COLD.
181
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,067
I NEEDED TO GENERATE SOME HEAT
AND FAST.
182
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,200
- [sighs]
183
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,867
- WELL, WHILE
WE'RE STUCK OUT HERE,
184
00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:30,600
WE MIGHT AS WELL
MAKE THE MOST OF IT.
185
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,667
HMM?
186
00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:33,867
- [sighs]
187
00:07:33,867 --> 00:07:36,067
- HEY.
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG?
188
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:37,367
- JENNA,
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
189
00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:38,633
HOW IMPORTANT MY STUDYING IS.
190
00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:40,700
YOU'RE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL.
191
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:42,100
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
192
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,167
- LOOK, THAT
DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT.
193
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,933
- NO, LUKE, WHY DON'T YOU
TELL ME WHAT ELSE
194
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,200
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
BECAUSE I'M JUST IN HIGH SCHOOL.
195
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,767
- UGH.
196
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,900
UGH.
197
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,233
[sighs]
198
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:06,267
AH.
199
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:07,433
- WAIT YOUR TURN, SON.
200
00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,467
I GOT A FEW POUNDS
TO DROP IN HERE.
201
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,133
- OH!
202
00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:17,733
OH!
203
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,400
- WORD TO THE WISE--
204
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,067
YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK
ABOUT KEEPING AN EYE
205
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,367
ON YOUR BOY TONIGHT.
206
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:23,767
HE AIN'T MAKING NO FRIENDS.
207
00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:24,767
- THANKS.
208
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,667
- WHAT YOU IN FOR, HOMES?
209
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:29,567
- WHO KNOWS?
YOU?
210
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:33,367
- PULLED A TRIGGER,
MADE SOME THINGS DISAPPEAR.
211
00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:36,200
NORMALLY,
I'M ONE EASYGOING MOTHER.
212
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,867
BUT IF SOMEONE GETS
ON MY NERVES,
213
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:39,900
LOOK THE HELL OUT!
214
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,500
BELIEVE IT OR NOT...
215
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,767
MY TROUBLES BEGAN
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER THAN YOU.
216
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,700
[buzzer sounds]
217
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,067
- OH, HEY.
218
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,700
DOING YOUR NAILS--
NICE.
219
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:54,067
YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
220
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,200
THERE IS NO MORE IMPORTANT PART
OF A LESBIAN THAN HER FINGERS.
221
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,900
- DO YOU JUST BLURT OUT EVERY
OFFENSIVE THING THAT YOU THINK?
222
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,433
- NO. IT'S ACTUALLY
VERY CAREFUL CURATED.
223
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:04,333
WHY AREN'T YOU STUDYING
FOR MIDTERMS
224
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:07,400
LIKE ALL THE OTHER COCKROACHES
IN THIS GODFORSAKEN HELLHOLE?
225
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,300
- BECAUSE I FINISHED THEM
LAST NIGHT, DUH.
226
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,267
BOYS--NOT ONLY
ARE THEY UNSANITARY,
227
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:14,400
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW THE FIRST
THING ABOUT MANAGING THEIR TIME.
228
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,267
- [gasps]
OH, MY GOD.
229
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:17,433
EXACTLY.
230
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,700
I AM ALL ABOUT MANAGING TIME
APPROPRIATELY,
231
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,100
ESPECIALLY FOR SENIOR YEAR.
232
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,100
MY COLOR-CODED SYSTEM TO GET ME
THROUGH THE NEXT FEW MONTHS
233
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,700
WOULD BLOW YOUR MIND.
234
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:28,100
- REALLY? 'CAUSE I'M THE GIRL
WHO GOES TO STAPLES TO UNWIND.
235
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,167
- OH, MY GOD. DON'T EVEN TALK
TO ME ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY
236
00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:33,067
I SPENT AT STAPLES LAST WEEK.
237
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:35,100
HOLD UP.
IS THAT CARAMEL SPELL?
238
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,667
- OBVI.
239
00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:38,833
- SCOOCH OVER, GIRL.
240
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,100
- HEY.
241
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,967
I DIDN'T MEAN
THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
242
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,833
BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
243
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:46,867
I JUST--
[sighs]
244
00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:48,533
I'M ON SCHOLARSHIP HERE.
245
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:52,067
AND IF I DON'T MAKE MY GRADES,
I'LL LOSE IT, AND THEN I'M OUT.
246
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:54,667
THERE'S NO WAY I CAN AFFORD
THIS PLACE OTHERWISE.
247
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:57,100
SO MIDTERMS ARE
AN EXTRA-STRESSFUL TIME OF YEAR
248
00:09:57,100 --> 00:10:00,067
FOR ME.
249
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:02,000
- I'M SORRY.
I HAD NO IDEA.
250
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,433
- I WANTED TO TELL YOU.
251
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,533
I JUST KNOW YOU MAYBE
HAVE THIS PICTURE OF ME
252
00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:08,933
AS THIS COOL, CONFIDENT
COLLEGE GUY, WHICH I AM.
253
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:11,867
I TOTALLY AM, LIKE, ALL DAY.
- RIGHT.
254
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:15,267
- BUT I'M ALSO A COMPLETE
DORKUS ABOUT SCHOOL.
255
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:17,133
I PUT MYSELF
ON LOCKDOWN THIS WEEKEND
256
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:18,900
SO I COULD
GET EVERYTHING DONE
257
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:22,000
AND MAKE TIME FOR THE IMPORTANT
THINGS IN MY LIFE...
258
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,200
LIKE YOU.
259
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,600
- IN THAT MOMENT,
LUKE WAS EVERYTHING--
260
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,167
HIS VULNERABILITY,
HIS HONESTY, HIS WORK ETHIC,
261
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,367
NO GAMES,
STRAIGHT LINES.
262
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,700
HE WAS A GREAT BOYFRIEND,
263
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:34,233
AND I WANTED TO BE
AN EQUALLY GREAT GIRLFRIEND.
264
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,367
OKAY.
265
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:36,900
IF YOU NEED TO KEEP
THIS SCHOLARSHIP,
266
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,933
THEN WE NEED
TO GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS.
267
00:10:38,933 --> 00:10:40,533
HAND ME THOSE FLASH CARDS.
268
00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:43,433
I AM GOING
TO LEND-LEASE YOU A HAND.
269
00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:45,633
- "LEND-LEASE"?
REALLY?
270
00:10:45,633 --> 00:10:48,100
- I REGRETTED IT
AS SOON AS I SAID IT.
271
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:52,467
- MY PARENTS ABANDONED ME.
272
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,900
TROUBLE KEPT FINDING ME.
273
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,267
SOON, THE STREETS
BECAME MY TRUE MOMS AND POPS.
274
00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:59,500
I WAS RAISED
ON THE BLOCK, SON.
275
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,233
I GOT MY PhD
IN STRAIGHT HUSTLING, HOMEY.
276
00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:04,433
- YEAH, I CAN RELATE, MAN.
277
00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:06,367
I JUST FOUND OUT I WAS ADOPTED.
278
00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:07,700
- REALLY?
279
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,500
BY SOME RICH-BITCH
MOTHER[bleep] UP IN P.V.?
280
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,133
- YEAH, BUT--
281
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:13,733
- THEY FED YOU,
BOUGHT YOU CLOTHES?
282
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:15,133
- THEY DID, BUT--
283
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,333
- WHAT KIND OF CAR YOU DRIVE?
284
00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:19,167
- ESCALADE.
285
00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:20,533
DROVE IT OFF A CLIFF.
286
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:22,733
- [laughs]
AN ESCALADE?
287
00:11:22,733 --> 00:11:23,833
DAMN, SON.
288
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,267
THEY AIN'T EVEN
HAVE THE COURTESY
289
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:28,200
TO BUY THEIR ADOPTED BOY
AN "S" CLASS.
290
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,667
HOMEY, YOU GOT ADOPTED
BY SOME STRAIGHT JERKS.
291
00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:36,333
[laughing]
292
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,333
"DROVE IT OFF A CLIFF."
293
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:40,933
[chuckling]
294
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,467
- COME ON, LUKE.
295
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,633
WHAT WERE THE MAIN POINTS
OF THE POTSDAM TREATY?
296
00:11:45,633 --> 00:11:49,300
- I THINK IT WAS...
297
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,600
- I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO STUDY.
298
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,067
- I THINK WE'VE STUDIED ENOUGH
FOR THE NIGHT.
299
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,467
I JUST WANT TO ENJOY YOU.
300
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:02,567
- I CAME HERE TONIGHT
TO HOOK UP,
301
00:12:02,567 --> 00:12:04,800
BUT IT'S BEEN
A COMPLETE FAIL MARY.
302
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,233
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
303
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:08,267
I THOUGHT COLLEGE GUYS WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE SO MUCH COOLER,
304
00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:09,767
BUT THEY'RE
JUST LIKE HIGH-SCHOOL GUYS,
305
00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:11,800
PLUS 2 YEARS AND 20 POUNDS.
306
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,567
- I DID THE GUY THING
FOR A WHILE,
307
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,533
BUT IT WASN'T UNTIL I WAS WITH
A WOMAN THAT EVERYTHING CLICKED.
308
00:12:16,533 --> 00:12:18,433
I MEAN, GUYS JUST TAKE
SO MUCH LONGER TO EVOLVE
309
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,800
INTO FUNCTIONAL ADULTS.
310
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,600
AND THE ROAD TO GET THERE
IS FILLED WITH DOUCHE STOPS.
311
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,867
- OH, TALK TO ME
ABOUT DOUCHE STOPS.
312
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:26,900
MY LAST BOYFRIEND WENT INTO
A "MUMFORD AND DUMBS" PHASE.
313
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:29,600
SO "TRAJNOXIOUS."
314
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,100
"TRAGIC" PLUS "OBNOXIOUS."
315
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,267
- THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE.
316
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:34,533
- NOT TO MENTION
HE COULD NEVER BUY ME A TICKET
317
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:36,733
TO RIDE
THE BIG OH-LLERCOASTER.
318
00:12:36,733 --> 00:12:38,300
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
319
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,533
NEVER SEND A MAN
TO DO A WOMAN'S JOB.
320
00:12:40,533 --> 00:12:43,067
[both laugh]
321
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,167
- OKAY, I NEED TO STOP
OR GET A TOWEL
322
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:48,533
FOR THE SERIOUS VERBAL VOM
THAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
323
00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:49,633
NICE, HUH?
324
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:57,067
- OH, MY GOD.
I AM SO SORRY.
325
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:59,167
I TOTALLY MISREAD THE SITUATION.
326
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:02,067
- LET'S DO THIS.
327
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:16,233
- HEY.
328
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,067
FREEDOM.
329
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,867
- * RIGHT NOW
WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN *
330
00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:27,567
* OPEN UP YOUR EYES AND SEE
331
00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:29,067
*
332
00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:31,067
- UGH. SHAYNE, YOU'VE GOT
TO STOP HOOKING UP
333
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:33,200
WITH GIRLS IN MY BED.
334
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,433
- GOOD MORNING.
335
00:13:34,433 --> 00:13:37,767
- OH, MY GOD.
336
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:39,800
- WALKER, YOU HAVE A VISITOR.
337
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,467
- THAT'S YOU.
338
00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:43,067
LET ME GO.
339
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,400
- ARE YOU INSANE?
340
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,567
- THIS MIGHT BE MY ONE SHOT
341
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:47,667
AT GETTING
TO AN ACTUAL BATHROOM, MAN.
342
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:49,500
- FINE.
343
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:53,767
BUT WHOEVER IT IS,
YOU GET US OUT OF HERE.
344
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,133
- I'M WALKER.
345
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:04,200
IS THERE
A REAL BATHROOM ANYWHERE?
346
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,167
EVEN A PLASTIC BAG
WOULD DO AT THIS POINT.
347
00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:12,167
SADIE, HOW DID YOU FIND US?
348
00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:14,800
- I WAS THERE WHEN MATTY GOT
HIS FAKE LAST NIGHT, DICKWEED.
349
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,933
AND SINCE YOU LEFT WITH EVA,
350
00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:18,067
I FIGURED YOU WERE DEAD
OR IN PRISON.
351
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,100
OH, AND THE RECORDED CALL
FROM COUNTY HELPED.
352
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,133
NOW, WHAT THE [bleep]
HAPPENED TO YOU?
353
00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:24,100
- MATTY AND I GOT BUSTED
FOR DRINKING.
354
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,267
WE SHOWED THE COPS OUR FAKES,
AND THEY BOUGHT THEM,
355
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:28,067
BUT THEN MATTY
STARTED MOUTHING OFF,
356
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,800
SO HE GOT US ARRESTED
FOR OPEN CONTAINERS.
357
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,500
- WHERE WAS EVA?
358
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,867
- I DON'T KNOW.
SHE WAS THERE, BUT SHE BAILED.
359
00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:34,767
- THAT BITCH DITCHED?
360
00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,933
I'M GOING TO [bleep] KILL HER.
361
00:14:36,933 --> 00:14:38,500
OH, RELAX.
362
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:41,367
- SADIE, IF I DON'T GET
OUT OF HERE SOON,
363
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:43,767
I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING
REALLY BAD.
364
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:45,533
- YOU'RE GONNA HURT SOMEONE?
365
00:14:45,533 --> 00:14:46,833
- NO.
366
00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:50,500
I'M GONNA [bleep] MYSELF.
367
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,567
- LISTEN, DUMB-ASS,
GIVE UP YOUR FAKES,
368
00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:53,667
TELL THE COPS YOU'RE MINORS,
369
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,533
AND LEGALLY,
THEY CAN'T HOLD YOU.
370
00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:57,967
IF THEY EVEN HESITATE,
TELL THEM THAT YOUR FRIEND
371
00:14:57,967 --> 00:14:59,833
IS GOING TO TWEET
AT THE L.A. TIMES
372
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,833
THAT THEIR INCOMPETENCE
IS ENDANGERING THE LIVES
373
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:04,933
OF TWO CUTE, INNOCENT
HIGH-SCHOOL BOYS,
374
00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:08,433
AND IT'LL GO VIRAL
FASTER THAN HPV AT COACHELLA.
375
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:10,600
AND THEY'LL BE MALL COPS
AT THE BEVERLY CENTER
376
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,900
FOR THE REST
OF THEIR MEANINGLESS LIVES.
377
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:13,900
- WHOA.
378
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:14,967
OKAY.
379
00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:16,400
- WITH PROCESSING
AND EVERYTHING,
380
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,367
YOU SHOULD BE OUT IN AN HOUR.
- THANK YOU.
381
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,600
OH, HEY, WAIT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF?
382
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,200
- ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK.
- HMM.
383
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,567
- AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
WE WERE BREAST FRIENDS...
384
00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:30,433
HANDS EVERYWHERE.
385
00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:31,633
I THINK WE HAD SEX--
386
00:15:31,633 --> 00:15:33,633
NOT 100% SURE, BUT I DID
FEEL, LIKE, 1,000 VOLTS
387
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,267
SHOOT THROUGH MY THIGHS
AT ONE POINT,
388
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,967
AND MY EYES ROLLED BACK
INTO MY HEAD,
389
00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:39,967
AND THE ORGASMS JUST KEPT
COMING, FAST AND BI-FURIOUS.
390
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:43,133
I SWEAR I SAW JESUS
SURFING A RAINBOW-COLORED STAR.
391
00:15:43,133 --> 00:15:45,500
- SO DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE--
- "HETEROFLEXIBLE"?
392
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,933
MAYBE, THOUGH I THINK
IT'S MORE LIKE THAT TIME
393
00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:49,967
I WORE A BLAZER AROUND
FOR A WEEK.
394
00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:52,733
LOOKS GOOD ON ELLEN,
BUT NOT FOR ME.
395
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,400
- AND WHEN MOM
WAS OVER IN SEATTLE,
396
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:55,933
SHE MOVED DOWN HERE
WITH SONIC YOUTH,
397
00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:58,433
SO THERE'S, LIKE, A 65% CHANCE
I'M EDDIE VEDDER'S KID.
398
00:15:58,433 --> 00:15:59,800
AND THEN THERE WAS
THAT BRIEF PERIOD
399
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,333
THAT KURT AND COURTNEY
BROKE UP, SO...
400
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,467
- NO.
- YEAH.
401
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:05,133
- GET OUT OF MY FACE.
402
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:07,867
- KURT FULLER AND COURTNEY COX
MIGHT BE YOUR PARENTS?
403
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,200
SO COOL.
404
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,200
- I WAS ALMOST THE KID
ON THE COVER OF NEVERMIND,
405
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,167
BUT MY MOTHER'S
A VERY PRIVATE PERSON.
406
00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:16,633
- [clears throat]
407
00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:18,967
- HI, KIDS.
HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?
408
00:16:18,967 --> 00:16:21,067
- NOTHING TOO CRAZY--
409
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,100
CONCERT AND THEN
RIGHT BACK TO TAMARA'S.
410
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,200
- OKAY, DON'T WORRY.
I AM OFF THE CLOCK.
411
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,800
THERE IS NO NEED
TO CENSOR YOURSELF.
412
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,333
I'M NOT COUNSELOR MARKS
IN YOUR HOME.
413
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:34,133
I AM JUST VAL THE PAL.
414
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:36,200
- EVA, WHAT'S UP?
415
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,967
- OH, MY GOD.
I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.
416
00:16:37,967 --> 00:16:39,467
I REALLY NEED TO TALK.
417
00:16:39,467 --> 00:16:41,800
LACEY SAID I SHOULD JUST
HANG OUT UNTIL YOU GOT HOME.
418
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,567
- LACEY.
- HMM.
419
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:47,933
- WHY DON'T WE GO TALK
IN MY ROOM?
420
00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,733
- SIT, SPILL.
421
00:16:49,733 --> 00:16:51,733
HOW WAS THE CONCERT?
ANY HIGHLIGHTS?
422
00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:54,633
- JUST THE ONES SLIPPING
THROUGH MY FINGERS THIS MORNING.
423
00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:56,900
- DO TELL.
424
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,500
- LESBI HONEST.
I KISSED A GIRL.
425
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:00,700
- WHOA!
426
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:01,800
- BOOM!
427
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,133
- BI-CURIOUS GEORGE.
428
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:04,900
- INTERESTING.
429
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,967
WELL, THAT'S A THING THAT--
THAT SOME PEOPLE DO.
430
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:09,333
- OH, PLEASE.
431
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:12,133
ONCE YOU'VE KNOCKED A FEW BACK,
A MOUTH IS JUST A MOUTH.
432
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:16,067
- WELL, I COULD NEVER DO THAT
WITH A GIRL.
433
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,300
- OH, REALLY?
434
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,300
NEWPORT BEACH, JUNIOR YEAR?
435
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,100
THAT WASN'T KEVIN, HON.
436
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:26,367
- OH, MY GOD!
[gasps]
437
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:27,933
- THEY'RE IN JAIL?
438
00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:29,800
- I KNOW, AND I TOTALLY
WOULD HAVE STUCK AROUND,
439
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,967
BUT AFTER MY SHOPLIFTING THING
LAST YEAR,
440
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,967
MY DAD WOULD HAVE FROZEN
MY TRUST.
441
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,267
- OKAY, THIS IS INSANE.
442
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:37,067
- I WAS HOPING YOU COULD GO DOWN
TO THE STATION WITH ME
443
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,300
AND HELP GET THEM OUT.
444
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,967
- MATTY'S
SELF-DESTRUCTIVE STREAK
445
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:41,500
HAD HIT AN ALL-TIME HIGH.
446
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,233
BUT IT WASN'T MY RESPONSIBILITY
TO BE HIS SAVIOR ANYMORE.
447
00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:45,767
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
HIS BROTHER'S NUMBER.
448
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:49,233
CALL HIM. HE'LL KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION.
449
00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:55,467
[buzzer sounds]
450
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:57,467
- HEY, ALL WE HAVE TO DO
451
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,200
IS TELL THEM WE'RE MINORS,
AND THEY'LL LET US GO.
452
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,233
- BUT IF WE SAY THAT,
THEY'LL KNOW WE HAD FAKE I.D.s.
453
00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,433
- UGH.
WE WILL DEAL WITH THAT LATER.
454
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:06,100
ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS PLACE
WILL BE PAINTED BROWN
455
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,367
IF WE DON'T GET
OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.
456
00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:09,933
SO LET'S GO.
- OKAY, OKAY.
457
00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,267
UH...
458
00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:14,100
YO, JORDAN,
UH, WE'RE GETTING OUT, MAN.
459
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,267
- BEAT THE RAP.
ENJOY IT, SON.
460
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:17,733
- THANK YOU SO MUCH,
461
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:20,067
AND I LEARNED A LOT
HEARING ABOUT YOUR STRUGGLES.
462
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,100
YOU KNOW,
IF I CAN EVER DO SOMETHING
463
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,467
TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF HERE.
464
00:18:23,467 --> 00:18:25,967
MAYBE PUT YOU IN TOUCH
WITH SOME GOOD ATTORNEYS...
465
00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:28,567
- ATTORNEYS?
DUDE, I AM AN ATTORNEY.
466
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:31,100
- YOU ARE?
- STANFORD, CLASS OF '02.
467
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:34,500
- AND YOU KILLED A MAN?
468
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,267
- WHAT THE [bleep]
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
469
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:38,600
- UH, YOU--
YOU PULLED A TRIGGER.
470
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,167
YOU MADE SOME THINGS
DISAPPEAR.
471
00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:42,233
- YEAH, I WORK
IN AN INVESTMENT BANK.
472
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:44,467
I SHORTED SOME SECURITIES
THAT I COULDN'T COVER,
473
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:46,933
AND THEN I MADE
THE TRANSACTION DISAPPEAR.
474
00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:47,967
- OH.
475
00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,067
- NOW I'M GONNA [bleep]
YOU UP!
476
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,100
- WE'RE MINORS!
WE'RE MINORS!
477
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,933
- AND I REALLY HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM!
478
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,800
- CHOICES--
479
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,400
SOMETIMES YOU NEED
TO MAKE THE HARD CHOICE
480
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,067
TO CUT SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR LIFE,
OR ELSE YOU WON'T BE OPEN
481
00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:05,433
TO THE POSSIBILITY OF SOMEONE
NEW AND AMAZING COMING INTO IT.
482
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:08,167
- FEEL BETTER?
- OH, MUCH BETTER.
483
00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:09,500
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME,
THOUGH.
484
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,333
I'M EXHAUSTED.
- ME TOO.
485
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,167
- ARE YOU GOING BACK HOME?
486
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:16,767
- YEAH, I GUESS.
THERE'S WORSE PLACES, YOU KNOW.
487
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,233
- MM.
488
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:23,067
- I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS
ARE OKAY.
489
00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:25,167
- EVA, WHAT THE [bleep]?
YOU TOTALLY BAILED ON US.
490
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:28,933
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
491
00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:30,467
SO WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE?
492
00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:32,933
- MATTY, I'M SO SORRY,
BUT I'VE BEEN IN TROUBLE BEFORE,
493
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,433
AND IF I MESS UP AGAIN,
494
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:37,633
MY DAD'S SENDING ME BACK
TO NEW YORK, AND MY MOTHER--
495
00:19:37,633 --> 00:19:41,100
SO I WENT TO FIND HELP.
I WENT TO JENNA FIRST AND...
496
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,433
- AND?
497
00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:44,433
- WELL, TO BE HONEST, MATTY,
SHE WAS KIND OF RUDE.
498
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,800
SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T HELP
499
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,567
AND THAT THE PERSON
THAT WOULD KNOW ABOUT JAIL
500
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:50,367
WAS YOUR DRUG ADDICT BROTHER.
501
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:52,767
I'M SORRY.
I CAME BACK HERE AFTER
502
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,767
AND JUST TRYING TO THINK
OF SOMETHING ELSE,
503
00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:57,600
AND I'VE JUST BEEN WAITING
FOR YOU.
504
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,900
- THANK YOU.
505
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,600
- IT'S BEEN, LIKE,
THE WORST FIRST DATE EVER,
506
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,767
RIGHT?
507
00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:04,267
I DIDN'T EVEN GET
A GOOD-NIGHT KISS.
508
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,600
- YEAH.
509
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,367
WHAT ABOUT A GOOD-MORNING ONE?
510
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:16,067
- WHAT ABOUT A CONJUGAL VISIT?
511
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,500
- AFTER THAT NIGHT,
512
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,400
I KNEW IF MY HEAD
WAS FULL OF MATTY MCKIBBEN,
513
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,500
IT WOULD GET IN THE WAY
OF OPENING MY HEART TO LUKE,
514
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:28,900
AND I WASN'T GOING TO LET
MY MATTY STORY, WHICH WAS OVER,
515
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:32,133
MESS UP MY LUKE STORY,
WHICH WAS JUST BEGINNING.
516
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,667
- NEXT ON AWKWARD...
517
00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:46,767
- THIS WAS IT.
518
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:47,767
ONCE I HIT SEND,
THERE WAS NO TURNING BACK.
519
00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:49,067
- SURPRISE.
520
00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,533
- NEXT FALL I'D BE STARTING
A WHOLE NEW LIFE.
521
00:20:50,533 --> 00:20:52,633
- IS THERE A REASON WHY
YOU HAVEN'T SENT ME MY ESSAY?
522
00:20:52,633 --> 00:20:53,767
- MATTY, IF YOU WANT
YOUR ESSAY SO BAD,
523
00:20:53,767 --> 00:20:55,300
WHY DON'T YOU GO
AND GET IT YOURSELF?
524
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,700
- WHEW! GOT IT.
525
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,433
- YOU PROMISED ME DESSERT.
526
00:20:58,433 --> 00:20:59,900
- SKANKY JANK!
527
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:02,433
- NOT MINE.
528
00:21:02,433 --> 00:21:03,367
EVA'S?
37838
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