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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:10,611 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... - IT'S YOU. 2 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:11,745 IT'S OVER, TAMARA. 3 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,114 - JAKE, NO. 4 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,248 - I'LL SEE YOU THEN. 5 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,483 - THAT GIRL'S A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER. 6 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:16,984 - I LEFT BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU UP THERE 7 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,386 WAS KIND OF ROUGH. 8 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:26,927 - I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT STANDARD DEVIATIONS 9 00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:28,462 FOR THE LIFE OF ME, BUT THERE WAS ONE FORMULA 10 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,830 I WAS FINALLY GETTING THE HANG OF-- 11 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,865 THE FORMULA FOR MOVING ON. 12 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,034 ONE SPECTACULAR SENIOR YEAR WITH MY FRIENDS 13 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,569 PLUS ONE AMAZING NEW BOYFRIEND 14 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,273 MINUS ABSOLUTELY ZERO LINGERING FEELINGS FOR MATTY 15 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,542 EQUALS ME READY TO START A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE. 16 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:46,947 - OKAY, BABE, BREAK TIME'S OVER. 17 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,783 BACK TO THE RIVETING WORLD OF STATISTICS. 18 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,219 SO FOR EACH NUMBER IN THE FORMULA, 19 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,421 YOU SUBTRACT THE MEAN AND DO WHAT? 20 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:56,224 - I HAVE NO IDEA. WANT TO MAKE OUT? 21 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,158 - UH-HUH. 22 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,963 - HEY, KIDS, DO YOU WANT SOME DESSER-- 23 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,365 - JESUS! 24 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,867 SOMEONE NEEDS A TUTORIAL ON KNOCKING. 25 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:07,935 - I AM SO SORRY, SWEETIE. 26 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,137 I'M JUST GONNA BE A BAD PARENT 27 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,604 AND PRETEND I DIDN'T SEE ANY OF THIS. 28 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,440 JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL BE CAREFUL, 29 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,507 BECAUSE IF YOU'VE LEARNED ONE THING 30 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,542 FROM YOUR FATHER AND ME, 31 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,043 IT'S THAT IT ONLY TAKES ONE THRUST 32 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,878 FOR SOMEONE TO BECOME A TEEN MOM. 33 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,015 - THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING. 34 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,184 - [clears throat] 35 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,153 - NOW, WHERE WERE WE? 36 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,387 - UH, IT'S GETTING PRETTY LATE. 37 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,556 SHOULD WE JUST PICK THIS UP NEXT TIME? 38 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:29,723 - GOOD IDEA. 39 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,525 NO MORE DISTRACTIONS. 40 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,061 - IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE BEING YOUR MATH TUTOR. 41 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,964 I ACCEPT PAYMENT IN THE FORM OF VISA, MASTERCARD, 42 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,800 OR, IN YOUR CASE, A REALLY EXCELLENT KISS. 43 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,570 - MY FORMULA FOR MOVING ON SEEMED TO BE WORKING OUT GREAT. 44 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:43,804 WHEN I KISSED LUKE, 45 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,073 ALL I SAW WAS MY PRESENT AND MY FUTURE... 46 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,009 AND MATTY? 47 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,845 ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE I NEEDED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED. 48 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,583 [keys clacking, loud thud] 49 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,685 - HEY. 50 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,753 SORRY TO INTERRUPT. - MATTY, RIGHT? 51 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,189 GREAT TO MEET YOU. I'M LUKE. 52 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,956 - YEAH, I KNOW. HEY. 53 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,592 - MATTY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 54 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:07,761 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ON LOCKDOWN AFTER THE MR. PHHS PAGEANT. 55 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:08,962 - YEAH, I'M GROUNDED FOR LIFE, 56 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,264 BUT WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO, 57 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,665 ADD ANOTHER DAY FOR SNEAKING OUT? 58 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,202 ANYWAY, I'M HERE ON BUSINESS. 59 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,837 - OH, THE BF/GF/BFF CONCERT. 60 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,840 - BF/GF/BFF IS THE NAME OF A BAND? 61 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,809 - NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S A-- 62 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:22,843 NEVER MIND. 63 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,978 I'M SORRY. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. 64 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,280 - SAME. 65 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,349 NO CLUE WHAT JAKE AND TAMARA ARE DOING WITH THEIRS, 66 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,684 BUT I FIGURED YOU COULD HAVE MINE AND-- 67 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,086 I DON'T KNOW-- TAKE LUKE IF YOU WANT. 68 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,690 - THANKS, MAN, BUT I HAVE MIDTERMS THIS WEEKEND. 69 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,126 WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST GO TOGETHER? 70 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,594 - SERIOUSLY? YOU WOULDN'T MIND? 71 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:41,929 - NOT AT ALL. 72 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,764 YOU SHOULDN'T MISS A SHOW YOU ALREADY PAID FOR. 73 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,566 - I AM DOWN IF YOU ARE. 74 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,369 - SURE. WHY NOT? 75 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:51,439 IT WAS GREAT BEING WITH A SECURE, MATURE COLLEGE GUY. 76 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,241 ONLY SOME HIGH SCHOOL SPAZ WOULD MAKE 77 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:56,043 A BIG DEAL OUT OF A COUPLE OF STUPID CONCERT TICKETS. 78 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:59,247 - THESE CONCERT TICKETS ARE A BIG FREAKIN' DEAL, ROSATI! 79 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,848 YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO LOOK AT THEM! 80 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,049 - OH, OKAY, I CAN'T LOOK AT THEM. 81 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,083 - NO, YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THEM. 82 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,386 - UGH. - THIS FOOTAGE IS FANTASTIC. 83 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:06,520 - WHY ARE YOU GUYS FILMING THIS? 84 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,721 - WE'RE MAKING A DOCUMENTARY CALLED 85 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,257 STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE BASIC. 86 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,858 YOU'D BE SO GREAT IN IT! 87 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,260 - OH, NO, NO. 88 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,461 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 89 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,463 - WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED 90 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,299 IN EITHER JAKE OR TAMARA'S TICKET TO ECHOSMITH? 91 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,000 THERE'S NO WAY THEY'RE BOTH GOING. 92 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,770 - OH, PICK ME. PICK ME, PLEASE. 93 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,038 OH, PLEASE, HAMILTACKY. 94 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,275 EVEN IF AUSTIN AND I DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE TICKETS, 95 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:28,909 I'D NEVER BE DESPERADO ENOUGH 96 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,279 TO TAKE YOUR FRIENDS' SLOPPY SECONDS. 97 00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:33,947 - I BELIEVED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD THREE PET DINGOES 98 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,716 AND A VACATION HOME IN THE OUTBACK! 99 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,651 DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING THAT IS? 100 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,654 - OMG, DID YOU HEAR THAT? - HEAR WHAT? 101 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,457 - THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME NOT GIVING A FLYING [bleep]. 102 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,625 all: OH. 103 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,894 - THANK GOD WE WERE NEVER THAT BAD. 104 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,462 I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE LUKE AND I 105 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,930 MID-MAKE-OUT LAST NIGHT. 106 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,599 - WELL, JENNA, IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME. 107 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:54,402 - OUCH. TOTALLY TRUE, BUT OUCH. 108 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,704 - LUKE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY, THOUGH. 109 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,906 I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. 110 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,808 [sighs] 111 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,844 IT IS HARD TO FIND A PERSON OF QUALITY AROUND HERE. 112 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,045 TRUST ME. 113 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,680 - YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'LL WRITE ANOTHER SONG 114 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,850 AND CALL IT MY CRAZY EX TALKS LIKE A SPEED FREAK 115 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,419 NO JK, LOL. 116 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:15,122 - HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS HARMONICA? 117 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,328 all: OH! 118 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:21,329 - AW. 119 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,065 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, EXCEPT DATE A PSYCHOPATH 120 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,800 WHO CAN DO A CONVINCING AUSTRALIAN ACCENT. 121 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,937 - WHEN YOU SPEAK, I WANT TO DIE, JUST FYI. 122 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,406 - STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU'VE BOTH BEEN ACTING CRAZY. 123 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,342 IT IS TIME THAT YOU LEARN A THING OR TWO 124 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:37,845 FROM YOUR FRIENDS/MODEL EXES JENNA AND MATTY. 125 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,680 THESE TWO HAVE MANAGED 126 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,449 TO MAINTAIN THE PEACE EVEN AFTER JENNA 127 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:43,216 CRUELLY CHEATED ON HIM 128 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,553 AND FELL DOWN A RABBIT HOLE OF SIN. 129 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,788 SMASH-CUT TO THE BRUTAL IRONY OF THIS YEAR-- 130 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,957 JENNA IS NOW DATING A HOT COLLEGE STUD, 131 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,125 AND MATTY IS STILL SINGLE AND ALONE. 132 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,527 - I'M--I'M FINE, ACTUALLY. 133 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,528 - SHH. DON'T SPEAK. 134 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,796 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY 135 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,998 IS THAT THESE TWO HAVE A MILLION REASONS 136 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,533 WHY THEY SHOULD BE PUTTING UP THEIR DUKES 137 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,469 IN THE QUAD, BUT THEY ARE CHOOSING 138 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,470 TO BE MATURE. 139 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,971 - FINE. YOU WANT MATURITY? 140 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,374 I'M GIVING UP MY TICKET. HAVE FUN AT THE CONCERT. 141 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,108 - YAY! THAT MEANS I WIN. 142 00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,277 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, STOP! 143 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,580 DO YOU GUYS, UH, KNOW ANYONE 144 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,214 WHO MIGHT WANT JAKE'S TICKET? 145 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,150 'CAUSE I THINK I KNOW A GIRL WHO COULD REALLY USE 146 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,487 A NIGHT OF LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND MUSIC. 147 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:22,956 TALKING ABOUT ME. 148 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,458 - VAL WAS RIGHT. 149 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,594 IT WASN'T FAIR THAT I WAS IN A SOLID RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE 150 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,128 WHILE MATTY WAS GETTING HIT ON BY GIRLS 151 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,997 WHO DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL "MONOGAMY." 152 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,632 HE DESERVED BETTER. 153 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:32,966 - NOW THAT MY EX HAS EXED HIMSELF 154 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,802 OUT OF OUR PLANS, WHO SHOULD WE INVITE? 155 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,003 - I'M COOL WITH WHOEVER. 156 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,639 I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. 157 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,608 - THIS IS GONNA SOUND WEIRD, 158 00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,577 BUT I KIND OF WISH MATTY HAD A GIRL TO BRING TO THE CONCERT. 159 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,413 - HOLD THE IPHONE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 160 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,981 - SEEING MATTY MOVE ON LIKE I HAVE WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY. 161 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,249 - I CALL BLUFFNANIGANS, JENNA. 162 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,419 NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEIR EX DATE OTHER PEOPLE. 163 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,721 - I DO. I WANT MATTY TO DATE. - REALLY? 164 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:54,922 WELL, IF YOU'RE SO SURE, 165 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,424 WHY DON'T YOU SET HIM UP YOURSELF? 166 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:58,526 - MAYBE I WILL. GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS? 167 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,063 - AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO. 168 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,297 EVA. 169 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,133 SHE'S SO DOWN-TO-EARTH AND NONTHREATENING. 170 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,134 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 171 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,268 - SETTING UP MATTY 172 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,737 WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST GIRLS IN SCHOOL 173 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,304 WOULDN'T BE MY FIRST CHOICE... 174 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,973 OR SECOND OR 90TH. 175 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,575 - SEE? I TOLD YOU, JENNA. 176 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,144 PUT A TBD ON YOUR NBD ATTITUDE. 177 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,446 - YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE WRONG. 178 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:19,680 HEY, EVA. 179 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,282 - MOTHER "F," I WASN'T SERIOUS. 180 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,685 - HEY, GIRLS. YOU BOTH LOOK SUPER CHIC TODAY. 181 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,153 WHAT'S UP? - I WAS WONDERING. 182 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,622 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LIVE MUSIC? 183 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,796 - WOW! WHAT A COOL CAR, TAMARA. 184 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,532 JUST REMIND ME TO PUT A PAPER BAG OVER MY HEAD 185 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,233 WHEN WE ROLL UP TO THE VENUE, OKAY? 186 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,503 - PRESS PAUSE ON THE UNGRATE HATE, SADIE. 187 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,472 WOULD YOU RATHER BE DRIVING YOUR WIENERMOBILE 188 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,373 TO THE CONCERT? 189 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,676 - YOU'RE SHOWING VISIBLE SIGNS OF DISCOMFORT. 190 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,244 BACK MASSAGE COMMENCES NOW. 191 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,113 - NOW THAT I HAD ACCEPTED TAMARA'S CHALLENGE 192 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,648 AND GOTTEN MATTY AND EVA TOGETHER, 193 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,317 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO DO A LITTLE MASSAGING OF MY OWN. 194 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,186 I LOVE YOUR DRESS, EVA. - OH, THANKS. 195 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,155 IT WAS A GIFT FROM AN OLD FRIEND--ALEXANDER WANG. 196 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,491 - UGH. - TOO STRONG? 197 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,125 - TOO DESPERATE. 198 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,701 - YOU KNOW, YOU TWO LOOK REALLY GOOD TOGETHER. 199 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,503 - OH, YOU THINK? 200 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,505 - EXCUSE ME. OH, SORRY. 201 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,541 HEY, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 202 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,075 - I JUST WANT YOU TO HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT-- 203 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,511 NO HIDDEN AGENDA. 204 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:26,514 - OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE BEING WEIRD, BUT OKAY. 205 00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,148 - PLAYING MATCHMAKER WITH AN EX 206 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,851 PROVES YOU'VE GONE FROM POINT "A" TO POINT CRAY. 207 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,185 - I'M NOT CRAZY. 208 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,254 MAYBE ONCE YOU FINALLY GET OVER JAKE, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. 209 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,889 - PLEASE. I'M SO OVER JAKE. 210 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,658 - CAN WE GO? 211 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,027 - * WE WALK LIKE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG * 212 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:48,536 * 213 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,303 - RUDE. GIVE IT BACK. 214 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,105 - CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING? 215 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,440 YOU ARE WAY TOO OBSESSED WITH JAKE. 216 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,542 IT'S NOT HEALTHY. 217 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,710 - PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE HERE HAS ALCOHOL. 218 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,879 IF I HAVE TO SHARE THIS GROSS OXYGEN POOL 219 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,981 WITH YOU LOSERS, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO 220 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,916 IS GET ME DRUNK SO I DON'T REMEMBER IT. 221 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,284 - I LEFT MY FLASK AT HOME, 222 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,086 BUT WE CAN GET DRINKS WITH OUR FAKES AT THE SHOW. 223 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,555 - NO ONE HERE HAS A FAKE. 224 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,957 - [clears throat] I DO. 225 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,795 - MATTY, THIS WON'T EVEN GET YOU INTO AN R-RATED MOVIE. 226 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,764 IT'S OKAY; WE CAN STOP BY THIS PLACE DOWNTOWN. 227 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,065 THEY DO FAKES ON THE QUICK. 228 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,568 I GOT MY FIRST I.D. THERE WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 15. 229 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,736 - YOU TOLD US YOU WERE AT BOARDING SCHOOL 230 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,305 IN SWITZERLAND WHEN YOU WERE 15. 231 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,141 - LE ROSEY, YES, AND I WAS DATING A DJ IN L.A. 232 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,143 THAT WOULD FLY ME OUT ON THE WEEKENDS AND STUFF. 233 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,212 - FROM SWITZERLAND? 234 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,414 - A COUPLE OF XANNIES ON THE PLANE, 235 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,116 AND THE DISTANCE FEELS LIKE NOTHING. 236 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,250 - THE SHOW'S GONNA START SOON. 237 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,451 DO WE REALLY HAVE TO DO ALL THIS WORK 238 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,452 FOR JUST A COUPLE DRINKS? 239 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,688 - OH, COME ON, JENNA. 240 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,656 WE ALL KNOW YOU ROLL WITH THE OLDER CROWD NOW. 241 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:45,292 BUT US CHILDREN, WE STILL GOT TO FEND FOR OURSELVES. 242 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,493 - OKAY, WHATEVER, I'LL TAKE US. 243 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,896 JUST PUT THE ADDRESS IN MY GPS. 244 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:54,602 - * WE WALK, WE WALK, WE WALK LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG * 245 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,304 * WE WALK LIKE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG * 246 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,906 [siren wailing] 247 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,274 - EVA, YOU NEGLECTED TO TELL US THIS PLACE 248 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,611 WAS ON THE CORNER OF HEP C AND RAPE. 249 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:04,912 - OH, IT'S FINE. WE CAN PARK HERE. 250 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,246 SERIOUSLY, I'VE PARKED HERE ALL THE TIME. 251 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,514 IT'S NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM. 252 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,149 - EVA, YOU'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE, 253 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,450 AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. 254 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,020 WOULD YOU PLEASE CONSIDER BEING MY LIFE COACH? 255 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,255 - SURE, I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO HELP THOSE IN NEED. 256 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,660 SADIE, CAN WE TALK FOR A SEC? 257 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,494 - UGH. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 258 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,164 - I HAVE THIS GREAT PHOTO OF YOU FOR YOUR I.D. 259 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:30,070 - NICE TRY, YOU SKETCHY SKITCH. 260 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,806 NOTHING HAPPENED THAT NIGHT, AND YOU KNOW IT. 261 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:33,974 - I KNOW. 262 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,009 IT JUST KIND OF LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING DID. 263 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,779 I WONDER WHAT AUSTIN WOULD THINK. 264 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,014 - YOU WOULDN'T DARE. 265 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,382 - PROBABLY NOT. 266 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,817 BUT IF YOU'RE AT ALL WORRIED, 267 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,419 YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT BEING WAY LESS BITCHY TO ME. 268 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,422 [rock music] 269 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:56,496 * 270 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,666 - YOU FOLKS LOST? 271 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:01,301 PINKBERRY'S DOWN THE STREET. 272 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:04,204 - HEY, BABE. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? 273 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,406 WE'RE HERE FOR I.D.s. 274 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,643 - WHITE BREAD, PERMA-SCOWL, YOU TWO, 275 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,311 IN THE BACK, NOW! 276 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,680 - YES, SIR. 277 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,521 - JENNA, JUST SO I'M CLEAR ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON, 278 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:24,758 DID YOU INVITE ME TO THE CONCERT TO SET ME UP WITH MATTY? 279 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,994 - NOT EXACTLY, BUT IF YOU'RE INTO MATTY, 280 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,029 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'D BE TOTALLY COOL WITH IT. 281 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,230 - SERIOUSLY? 282 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,465 - YEAH, IT'S CLEAR YOU GUYS HAVE CHEMISTRY, 283 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,567 AND I DON'T WANT TO GET IN THE WAY OF THAT. 284 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,004 - I'M SO RELIEVED YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS 285 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,438 THAT'S PSYCHO ABOUT HER EX. 286 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,007 YOU'RE AWESOME. 287 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,308 [camera shutter clicks] 288 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,745 - WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR NAME TO BE? 289 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,513 - AUSTIN WELCH. - NO, AUSTIN. 290 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,548 YOU HAVE TO CREATE A FAKE NAME. 291 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:52,853 - BUT THAT WOULD BE LYING. - DUH, THAT'S THE POINT. 292 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,056 - AUSTIN S. WELCH. 293 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,090 [camera shutter clicks] 294 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,860 [tattoo needle buzzing] 295 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,729 - THAT LOOKS SO PAINFUL. 296 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,296 - GETTING THEM REMOVED HURTS MORE. 297 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,998 - REALLY? - YEAH. 298 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,533 WHEN I GOT RID OF ALL MY TATTOOS LAST YEAR, 299 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,401 I HAD TO DRINK STRAIGHT TEQUILA TO GET THROUGH IT. 300 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,737 - WHY'D YOU GET RID OF THEM? 301 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,638 - THINGS CHANGE. YOU NEED TO CLEANSE. 302 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:15,075 - SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I NEED TO DO WITH MY TATTOO. 303 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,309 - DOUBTFUL. 304 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,011 I BET IT'S SEXY. SHOW ME. 305 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,613 - [sighs] 306 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,253 - OH, THAT'S AN EASY FIX. 307 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,621 "4 EVA," SEE? 308 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:29,990 - WELL, THAT WAS QUICK. 309 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,358 WITH JUST A TOUCH OF HER PALM, 310 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,794 EVA HAD FOUND A WAY TO ERASE MY PAST WITH MATTY, 311 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,195 NOT THAT IT BOTHERED ME. 312 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,431 MATTY'S AND MY HISTORY WAS EXACTLY THAT--HISTORY. 313 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,605 - YO, PROM KING AND QUEEN, 314 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,774 FRONT AND CENTER. 315 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,612 - HEY, DROP THE PHONE. 316 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,281 - JAKE JUST TWEETED THAT HE'S IN A HOT TUB 317 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,783 MACKIN' ON SOME GROUPIES. 318 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,284 WTF? 319 00:11:57,284 --> 00:12:00,120 I'M THE ONLY GIRL HE SHOULDN'T BE GIVING ORGASMS TO. 320 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,990 [cell phone clicking] 321 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,369 STOP IT! 322 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,906 YOU'RE BEING A BUGABOO, JENNA. I'M FINE. 323 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,809 - DO YOU THINK MATTY'S UPSET WITH ME FOR SETTING HIM UP? 324 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,243 I MIGHT HAVE JUMPED THE GUN ON THIS. 325 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,115 - FURIOUS. HE MIGHT NEVER GET OVER IT. 326 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,418 - YOU GUYS, GUESS WHAT NAMES WE CHOSE FOR OUR I.D.s. 327 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,721 WILLIAM AND KATE, BECAUSE, DUH, WE'RE ROYALTY. 328 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,056 - WOW. HOW ROMANTIC. 329 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,891 WHOA! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? 330 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,993 MY PLAN TO MAKE MATTY HAPPY WAS WORKING. 331 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,629 SO WHY WAS I SUDDENLY FEELING SO UNHAPPY? 332 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,898 IT'S NOT LIKE I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM. 333 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:48,368 HOLY [bleep], I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM. 334 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,402 - LET'S TEST THESE BABIES 335 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,703 AT THE LIQUOR STORE DOWN THE STREET. 336 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,072 - WE'RE ALREADY LATE. LET'S JUST GO. 337 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,306 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 338 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,574 I'D ACTUALLY LOVE TO GET A BOTTLE OF THIS ROSE 339 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,476 THAT LUKE TURNED ME ON TO. 340 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,446 - EVA, WOULD YOU BE UP FOR SOME CLASSY PBR? 341 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,082 - IT'S MY FAVORITE. - UGH. FINE. GO. 342 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,216 BUT I'M STAYING HERE. 343 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,684 I WOULD HAVE TO LATHER MYSELF IN PURELL 344 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,854 BEFORE STEPPING INTO THAT ETCH-A-SKETCH PLACE. 345 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,258 [cell phone clicking] 346 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,966 - EXCUSE ME. 347 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,500 DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? - EW! 348 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,768 DO YOU NOT OWN A CELL PHONE? 349 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:22,903 - I DO NOW. 350 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,371 - [gasps] OH, NO, YOU DON'T! 351 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,939 THIS PHONE IS MY LIFELINE! 352 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,575 MY TEXTS, MY MUSIC, MY CONTACTS, MY PHOTOS, 353 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:29,977 MY TWITTER, MY PINTEREST, 354 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,712 AND MY COMPREHENSIVE NOTES DEDICATING MY FIVE-YEAR PLAN! 355 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,414 BACK OFF, BITCH! 356 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,682 - HEY, LET YOUR PHONE GO! 357 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,350 - THANKS. 358 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,919 - I HAD IT UNDER CONTROL, JENNA. 359 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,888 - NO, YOU DIDN'T. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 360 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:43,723 - ACTUALLY, SHE HAS MULTIPLES. 361 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,459 YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED. 362 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,594 - STOP! 363 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,096 MY FRIEND SAID IT WAS OKAY TO PARK HERE! 364 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,264 - I SAID IT'S USUALLY OKAY. 365 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,799 - PLEASE CAN I HAVE MY CAR BACK? 366 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,801 - CONSIDER IT FOR $200. 367 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,403 - GUYS, PUT ALL YOUR MONEY IN, NOW. 368 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,344 - THANKS. - HEY! I THOUGHT YOU SAID-- 369 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,479 - SAID I WOULD CONSIDER IT. 370 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,949 - WHAT? 371 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,184 [engine turning over] 372 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,154 GUESS WE'LL NEVER FORGET THIS FIRST DATE. 373 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,555 - THAT MADE THE THREE OF US. 374 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,394 - JUST SO YOU KNOW, I ONLY CAME BECAUSE OF MATTY. 375 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,796 - SORRY TO PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR GROUPIE ORGY. 376 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,099 HOPE YOU DISINFECTED BEFORE YOU CAME. 377 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,935 OR SHOULD I SAY AFTER? 378 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,369 - [clears throat] 379 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,473 - OH, AM I CRUSHING YOU? - NAH, YOU FEEL GREAT. 380 00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,508 - WOW, GLAD YOU TWO ARE ENJOYING YOURSELVES 381 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,011 AFTER OUR FRIEND GOT MUGGED AND WE LOST ALL OUR MONEY. 382 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,113 - IS THERE A PROBLEM, JENNA? - I COULDN'T SAY. 383 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,548 IN MY QUEST TO MOVE ON FROM MATTY, 384 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,216 I HAD ENDED UP WHERE I STARTED-- 385 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,218 A JEALOUS, INSECURE WRECK. 386 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,454 NO. NO PROBLEM AT ALL. 387 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,156 - LET'S GIVE EVA A ROUND OF APPLAUSE 388 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:52,825 FOR ALL HER GENIUS IDEAS THAT GOT US INTO THIS HELLHOLE. 389 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,961 - [clapping] 390 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,028 [cell phone chimes] 391 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,033 - OH, WHAT'S THAT? - IT'S NOTHING. 392 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,534 KEEP CLAPPING. 393 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,636 - [clapping] 394 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,610 - YOUR THREATS DON'T SCARE ME, EVA. 395 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,346 AUSTIN AND I DON'T HAVE A TYPICAL RELATIONSHIP. 396 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,249 IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, HE'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT. 397 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,288 I CAN BE HONEST WITH HIM ABOUT ANYTHING, 398 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,290 SO YOUR LITTLE PLAN TO BLACKMAIL ME 399 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,725 IS AS USELESS AS YOU ARE. 400 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:30,230 - IT'S GOING TO COST YOU $400 TO GET IT OUT OF THE IMPOUND. 401 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,531 - JAKE, YOU PAY FOR IT. 402 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,366 CONSIDER IT MY SETTLEMENT IN THE JAKARA BREAKUP. 403 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,634 - NO, I'M DONE. 404 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,369 I DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO FIGHT YOU ANYMORE. 405 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:39,172 - T, CAN WE SIDEBAR? 406 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,640 YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP IT WITH JAKE. 407 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,010 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. - OH, PLEASE, JENNA. 408 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,811 EVER SINCE MATTY AND EVA STARTED HITTING IT OFF, 409 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,846 YOU'VE BEEN GUZZLING DOWN HATERADE. 410 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,316 AT LEAST I'M OWNING MY CRAZY INSTEAD OF LEASING IT. 411 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,718 - [giggles] 412 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,027 - SO DO WE MAKE OUT NOW? 413 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,262 - NOT YET. I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 414 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,666 - OH, I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PHOTO OF YOU BEFORE. 415 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,568 YOUR SKIN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. 416 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,537 OH, AND THERE'S MATTY. 417 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:13,506 - IT WAS TAKEN ONE NIGHT AFTER WE HAD FALLEN ASLEEP TOGETHER-- 418 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:16,043 TOTALLY INNOCENT, NOTHING HAPPENED. 419 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:18,111 - OKAY. GREAT. 420 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,051 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GONNA PUKE. 421 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,352 - MATTY AND I KISSED, OKAY? 422 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,254 AND IT MEANT NOTHING, AND I PROMISE 423 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,522 IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 424 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,526 [sighs] I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. 425 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,562 - I'M REALLY GLAD YOU TOLD ME. 426 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,064 - REALLY? I WAS NERVOUS. 427 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,066 BUT I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND. 428 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:42,202 - OH, I UNDERSTAND. 429 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,071 YOU'RE A LIAR, AND I NEED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. 430 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,839 - WHAT? AUSTIN, I DIDN'T LIE. 431 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,375 I'M TELLING YOU NOW. 432 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,210 - YOU LIED WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE MONOGAMOUS, 433 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,445 AND YOU JUST LIED AGAIN BY SAYING THAT YOU DIDN'T LIE. 434 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,314 - AUSTIN, YOU'RE GETTING THIS TOTALLY TWISTED. 435 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,815 - WHEN SOMEONE LIES ABOUT FIDELITY 436 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,250 IN A RELATIONSHIP, THE PROBABILITY 437 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,652 THAT THEY'LL LIE AGAIN GOES UP BY MORE THAN 80%. 438 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,188 - I'M NOT SOME STATISTIC. 439 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,356 I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I JUST NEED TO-- 440 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,857 - I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I NEED, 441 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,427 AND THAT'S 100% CERTAINTY THAT YOU WON'T BETRAY MY TRUST. 442 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,528 - I CAN GIVE YOU THAT. 443 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,230 JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE IT. 444 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,332 - BUT THAT'S THE PROBLEM, SADIE. 445 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,534 YOU'VE ALREADY PROVEN TO ME THAT YOU CAN'T. 446 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,641 - HALLELUJAH! WE ARE FREE. 447 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,210 THEY ARE FINALLY RELEASING MY CAR FROM CAPTIVITY. 448 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,311 - HOW? 449 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,347 - MY EXPERT NEGOTIATION SKILLS, OBVI. 450 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,649 MY GRANDMOTHER LET ME CHARGE IT TO HER CREDIT CARD. 451 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,818 - ARE YOU OKAY, SADIE? 452 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,121 WHERE'S AUSTIN? 453 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,356 - MATTY, CAN I TALK TO YOU BEFORE WE GO? 454 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:39,292 - SURE. 455 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,961 - I'M SORRY IF I WAS RUDE TONIGHT. 456 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:44,631 I THOUGHT I WOULD BE COOL WITH SEEING YOU DATE OTHER PEOPLE, 457 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,633 BUT IT BOTHERED ME MORE THAN I THOUGHT. 458 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,034 - I NOTICED. 459 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,271 - I PROMISE NOT TO INTERFERE WITH YOU OR EVA. 460 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,406 YOU TWO HAVE MY BLESSING TO BE TOGETHER. 461 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,609 - YOUR BLESSING? ARE YOU SERIOUS? 462 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,146 DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS? 463 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,980 SHOULD I HAVE GIVEN YOU MY BLESSING 464 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,615 WHEN YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH COLIN LAST YEAR 465 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,318 OR MAYBE WHEN YOU STARTED TO DATE LUKE? 466 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,854 WE DON'T NEED EACH OTHER'S BLESSINGS, JENNA. 467 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,222 WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. 468 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,825 HEY, LET'S GO. 469 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,026 EVA, YOU GONNA COME WITH? 470 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,165 - [mouths words] 471 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,235 - JENNA, WE'RE GONE, BABY, GONE. 472 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,736 COME ON. 473 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,375 - HEY! GET OUT OF MY CAR, MAN! 474 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,009 JESUS! 475 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,043 YOU TOO! 476 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,454 - CLOSE CALL, BOYS. 477 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,655 - BUMMER. 478 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,257 WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE ECHOSMITH PLAY. 479 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,326 - AT LEAST WE GOT SOME FAKE I.D.s OUT OF IT. 480 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,195 - OH, YOU GUYS GOT FAKES? LET ME SEE. 481 00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,263 - I'LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS. 482 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,434 "JOHN SMITH"? 483 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,002 JAKE, THIS IS SO LAME. 484 00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,638 - OH, WHATEVER, WILLIAM, KATE. - WHATEVER. 485 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,707 IT'S CUTE. WE'RE CUTE. - YEAH. 486 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,375 - WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CALL JAKE A CAR 487 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,976 AND THEN YOU AND I CAN GET OUT OF HERE? 488 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,813 - I LOVE THAT IDEA. - GREAT. 489 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:07,980 JAKE, WE'RE CALLING YOU AN UBER. 490 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,216 YOU'RE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE. 491 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:13,686 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. - YES, I DO. 492 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,455 UGH, IT SMELLS LIKE TWEAKERS IN HERE. 493 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,789 ONE SEC. - YEAH. 494 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,564 - I THOUGHT EVA WAS TOO GOOD FOR HIGH SCHOOL GUYS. 495 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,400 - LOOKS LIKE SHE MADE AN EXCEPTION THERE, JAKEY. 496 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,901 [siren wails] 497 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,971 - [bleep], HIDE THE BOOZE, MAN. 498 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:36,075 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 499 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,644 - YOU TWO BEEN DRINKING TONIGHT? 500 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,247 - WELL, YES, SIR, WE HAVE, BUT OUR FRIEND 501 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,581 WENT TO GO CALL US A CAR, SO... 502 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,115 - YEAH, WE DIDN'T START DRINKING 503 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,351 UNTIL WE GOT TO THE CONCERT, 504 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,353 WHICH WE DIDN'T EVEN END UP SEEING. 505 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,087 - HEY, I'M NOT ASKING FOR YOUR LIFE STORY HERE. 506 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,456 - THAT'S GREAT, 507 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,458 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A LIFE STORY TO TELL YOU. 508 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,392 - SHOW ME YOUR I.D.s. 509 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,968 YOU LITTLE CANDY-ASSES GETTING A THRILL 510 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,436 BY BEING IN THIS PART OF TOWN? 511 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,971 - YEAH, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT US, 512 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,739 SO WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A DICK? 513 00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,941 - SHUT UP, DUDE. 514 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,311 - THAT'S IT. OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW. 515 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:12,945 RIGHT NOW. COME ON. - WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. 516 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,314 - THOSE OPEN CONTAINERS JUST JUMP IN YOUR CAR 517 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,315 WHEN YOU WEREN'T LOOKING? 518 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,316 - HOW'D YOU GUESS, HUH? 519 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,850 - GET! - MATTY! 520 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,454 [cell phone chimes] 521 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,761 - SOMETIMES IT FELT LIKE I WAS STUCK 522 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,397 IN AN EMOTIONAL PRISON 523 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,699 WAITING TO BE SET FREE FROM MY FEELINGS FOR MATTY, 524 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:36,102 AND NOW THAT I HAD LUKE, THE HANDCUFFS WERE COMING OFF. 525 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:37,604 - GETS EVEN BETTER. 526 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:38,971 PRECINCT LOCKUP IS ALL FULL. 527 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:41,541 YOU BOYS GET TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN COUNTY. 528 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,775 - [sighs] 529 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,646 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 530 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,047 WE CAN STILL MAKE IT TO SCU BY MIDNIGHT 531 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,282 AND SPEND OUR NIGHT WITH REAL MEN. 532 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:50,617 - EVERY ONE OF THEM IS LIKE A LIVING, 533 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,519 BREATHING J. CREW CATALOG, ONLY HOTTER. 534 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:54,454 HEY THERE. - [belches] 535 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,623 - SURPRISE! 536 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,024 - DON'T WE GET ONE PHONE CALL? 537 00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,626 - I'D RATHER DIE IN PRISON THAN CALL JENNA RIGHT NOW. 538 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,993 - GONNA GIVE YOU HIS BROTHER'S NUMBER. 539 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,795 HE'LL KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION. 540 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,163 - I WENT TO JENNA. SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T HELP. 39301

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