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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,078 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,079 - CLASS RANKING? 3 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,080 JENNA, WHERE ARE YOU? 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,414 - T, I AM 137. 5 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,749 SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE. 6 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,618 - STOP MOPING OVER MATTY. 7 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,620 - DID YOU GET ANOTHER PHONE? - THIS ONE'S AUTUMN'S. 8 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,155 - WHO'S AUTUMN? - AUTUMN SAN DIEGO. 9 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,590 THE ONLINE PERSONA I CREATED TO CATFISH JAKE. 10 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,794 - IT WAS MY FIRST COLLEGE OVERNIGHT VISIT, 11 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,396 AND I HAD REINVENTION ON MY MIND. 12 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,464 COLLEGE WAS THE END OF JENNA HAMILTON, THAT GIRL, 13 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,833 AND THE BIRTH OF JENNA HAMILTON, IT GIRL. 14 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,703 I COULD SEE MYSELF NOW, ATTENDING LITERARY EVENTS, 15 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,638 TALKING BOOKS WITH CUTE BOYS, 16 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,340 BANTERING OVER COFFEE. 17 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,875 BUT FIRST, I HAD TO ACE MY INTERVIEW AND GET IN. 18 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,212 - MAN, THIS PLACE IS FULL OF MEMORIES-- 19 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:47,548 KEGS AND EGGS, FRISBEE GAMES IN THE QUAD, 20 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,050 CHILI-CHEESE MONSTER BURGERS. 21 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,019 BEST FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE... 22 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:55,256 EXCEPT FOR EVERY YEAR THAT I'VE SPENT WITH YOU. 23 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,590 - UH-HUH. 24 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:57,591 - OKAY, WHAT TIME IS YOUR INTERVIEW? 25 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,592 - 9:30 TOMORROW MORNING. 26 00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,593 - DING! DING! CORRECT. 27 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:00,728 MINE'S AT 9:00. 28 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:01,962 SO WE'LL WAKE UP AT 8:00, 29 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,397 DO ONE LAST RUN THROUGH OUR ANSWERS, 30 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,432 GET MAX CAFFED, 31 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,833 AND SHOW UP TEN MINUTES EARLY 32 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,135 TO SHOW THAT WE HAVE MINDS FOR BUSINESS 33 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,336 EVEN IF WE ALSO HAVE BODS FOR SIN. 34 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:09,637 - "BODS"? - JENNA. 35 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,139 NOW IS NO TIME FOR DISTRACTION ACTION. 36 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,673 ASK ME ONE OF THE QUESTIONS. 37 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,742 - "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING TO THE SCHOOL?" 38 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,677 - TALENT, AMBITION, MINDFULNESS, 39 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,846 ABILITY, REFLECTION, AND ACRONYMS. 40 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,148 TAMARA. 41 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,649 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 42 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:22,983 - I THINK MY WRITING SKILLS WOULD BE AN ASSET, 43 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,418 AS WELL AS MY LEADERSHIP QUALITIES-- 44 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,986 - UGH, THEY SNOOZE, YOU LOSE, 45 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,821 AND THAT ANSWER MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN AN AMBIEN. 46 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,290 YOU NEED TO GET YOUR [bleep] TOGETHER. 47 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,424 IF WE DON'T GET INTO THE SAME COLLEGE, 48 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,792 WE CAN'T BE ROOMMATES, 49 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,161 AND THEN IT'S THE END OF JENNARA, 50 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,995 AND THEN IT IS MURDER-SUICIDE TIME, 51 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,165 AND YOU KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK ON THAT ONE. 52 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,499 - OH, LACE, LOOK. 53 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,168 OVER THERE, WE HAD THIS PARTY 54 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,503 COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND SOPHOMORE YEAR. 55 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:43,837 IT GOT CRAZY. 56 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:47,175 - "O" TO THE "M" TO THE "F" TO THE "G." 57 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,876 THIS PLACE IS LIKE A PINTEREST BOARD 58 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,879 FULL OF BANGABLE DUDES JUST COME TO LIFE. 59 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:55,183 PIN. PIN. PIN. PIN. 60 00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,950 - NOW WHO'S SUCCUMBING TO DISTRACTION ACTION? 61 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,520 - YOU'RE RIGHT. WE NEED TO GO HORSEY STYLE. 62 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,189 FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND. 63 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,190 COME ON. 64 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,557 - NOT SO FAST. 65 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,927 I BROUGHT A SPECIAL GIFT TO HELP YOU FIT IN, HUH? 66 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,796 NOW YOU'LL BE THE SPITTING IMAGE OF YOUR OLD MAN. 67 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,198 - I'M NOT SURE THAT'S A GOOD THING. 68 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,599 - GREAT. 69 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,201 I'D GONE FROM HOT INCOMING FRESHMAN 70 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,203 TO LARGE-SIZED LINEBACKER IN 10 SECONDS FLAT. 71 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,374 THIS WAS THE HOTTEST GUY I'D EVER SEEN. 72 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,310 HE MADE YOUNG LEONARDO DICAPRIO 73 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,278 LOOK LIKE OLD LEONARDO DICAPRIO. 74 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,713 - PIN. 75 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,282 PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN, PIN. 76 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,352 - HEY, WANT TO GO TO A PARTY TONIGHT? 77 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,723 - SORRY. INVITE ONLY. 78 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:44,064 [keys clacking, thud] 79 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,466 - IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE 80 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,268 HEARING YOU SING OFF-KEY TO IMAGINE DRAGONS, 81 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,770 BUT ANY IDEA WHEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE YOUR CAR AGAIN? 82 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,740 - * PROBABLY TWO MONTHS FROM NEVER * 83 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:55,943 MY PARENTS ARE SO PISSED I TOTALED MY CAR. 84 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,145 - YEAH, IT WAS PRETTY STUPID OF US. 85 00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,848 - WE WERE HAVING FUN, MAN. [bleep] THEM. 86 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,049 - [laughs] 87 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,717 DUDE, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL? 88 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,386 EVERY DAY, YOU'RE, LIKE, TWO SECONDS AWAY 89 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:06,820 FROM GOING BEAST MODE. 90 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,856 - NOTHING. 91 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,759 - MATTHEW, WHAT'S WRONG? 92 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,994 - WHAT IS THAT, YOUR OPRAH FACE? 93 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,533 - UGH. ALL RIGHT, FINE. 94 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,001 I'M-- 95 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,505 [cell phone vibrates] - HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 96 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,006 OH, SORRY. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE AUTUMN. 97 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,575 WE'VE BEEN TEXTING EACH OTHER EVERY DAY. 98 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:28,742 SHE'S REALLY COOL. 99 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,743 - LOOK AT THESE CLASSES-- 100 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,279 "WOMEN'S STUDIES 113. 101 00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:33,013 "FROM CLEOPATRA TO ANGELINA JOLIE. 102 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,915 POWER BITCHES THROUGH THE AGES." 103 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,617 THIS IS THE PERFECT SCHOOL FOR ME. 104 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,752 - WHILE TAMARA WAS OBSESSING ABOUT THE COURSE CATALOG, 105 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,421 I WAS CATALOGUING MY INSECURITIES. 106 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,291 THIS PLACE SEEMED AWESOME, BUT COULD I REALLY GET IN? 107 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,858 - OKAY, NEXT STOP ON OUR TOUR. 108 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,794 - EVERY TIME ONE OF MY BROS PASSED A FINAL, 109 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,897 WE'D STREAK THROUGH THIS QUAD AND THEN JUMP IN THAT FOUNTAIN. 110 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,533 I PUKED IN THOSE BUSHES AND THOSE ONES... 111 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,768 OH, AND THOSE ONES RIGHT THERE-- - WE GET IT, KEVIN. 112 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,537 YOU WENT TO COLLEGE. 113 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,906 - ON OUR RIGHT, WE HAVE THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT. 114 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,774 DO WE HAVE ANY WRITERS IN THE GROUP? 115 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,610 COOL. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO WRITE? 116 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,845 - OH, I'M NOT THE WRITER, BUT MY DAUGHTER IS. 117 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,314 I KNOW, I KNOW. 118 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,482 HOW CAN I BE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE A 17-YEAR-OLD? 119 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,351 BUT I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB, 120 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,886 AND YOU KNOW IT JUST TAKES ONE TIME WITHOUT A CONDOM. 121 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,322 - OKAY. 122 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,823 WELL... 123 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,891 - JENNA. - JENNA. 124 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,026 A LOT OF GREAT WRITERS HAVE GONE HERE. 125 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,361 WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS? 126 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,362 - I KNOW THIS. 127 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,363 I KNOW THIS. 128 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,631 I'M A WRITER. 129 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,198 OF COURSE I KNOW MY FAVORITE AUTHORS. 130 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,667 SO WHY WAS GARFIELD THE ONLY WORD I COULD THINK OF? 131 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,035 HE'S NOT EVEN AN AUTHOR. HE'S A CAT. 132 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,637 OH, GOD. 133 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,373 - OF COURSE, WRITERS ARE ALWAYS THE SILENT TYPE. 134 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,008 STRAIGHT AHEAD, YOU'LL SEE THE STUDENT UNION. 135 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,910 - YOU'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS. 136 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,380 I CALLED YOU IN HERE BECAUSE I'M CONCERNED. 137 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,881 YOU'VE BEEN DISTANT. 138 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,417 YOU'RE SKIPPING SCHOOL. YOU QUIT YOUR JOB. 139 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,553 I'VE SEEN THESE SIGNS BEFORE. 140 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,154 YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 141 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,056 YOU'RE QUESTIONING EVERYTHING 142 00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:52,092 YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT YOURSELF. 143 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,561 YOU'RE GAY. 144 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,529 - WHAT? 145 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,197 NO. NO, I'M NOT. - IT'S OKAY, SWEETHEART. 146 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,899 YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND. 147 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,502 I MEAN, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU WORK AT PRESTON & BOONE? 148 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,236 - THAT WAS JUST A JOB. 149 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,138 - OKAY, AND 2 BOYS, 1 BUTT IS JUST A MOVIE. 150 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,375 LOOK, IT GETS BETTER. 151 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,477 THIS IS AN AMAZING TIME TO BE GAY. 152 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,745 JUST LOOK AT THAT ELLEN LADY. 153 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,381 JUST BE CAREFUL. 154 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,148 A CUPCAKE LIKE YOU COULD GET EATEN ALIVE OUT THERE. 155 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,150 - AGAIN, UH, NOT GAY. 156 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,919 - OF COURSE NOT. 157 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,389 LET'S TALK ANDERSON COOPER. 158 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:22,690 - WELL, THAT'S THE END OF THE TOUR. 159 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,157 FOR THOSE OF YOU STAYING OVERNIGHT, 160 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,959 YOUR HOSTS ARE WAITING OVER THERE TO MEET YOU. 161 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,461 - AFTER MY TOUR DE HUMILIATION, 162 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,030 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS NEVER SEE LUKE AGAIN. 163 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,433 BUT IF I WANTED TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY OF ADMISSION, 164 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,301 I NEEDED TO FACE MY FEARS, 165 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,970 EVEN IF I DID NEED A BOOST OF CONFIDENCE FIRST. 166 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:40,541 IT WAS TIME TO BREAK THE ICE. 167 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,975 LUKE... 168 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,844 WILLIAM FAULKNER, JOAN DIDION, 169 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,278 AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY 170 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,980 THAT I HAVE READ EVERYTHING BY V.C. ANDREWS. 171 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,416 - NICE HIGH-LOW BLEND. 172 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,418 A WOMAN AFTER MY OWN HEART. - REALLY? 173 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,685 I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE BOOKSHELF 174 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,053 FULL OF MURAKAMI AND MARTIN AMIS. 175 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,688 - SURE, ON THE TOP SHELF. 176 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,123 ONCE YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM, 177 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,691 THERE'S AN AWFUL LOT OF DAN BROWN. 178 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,528 - WE ARE GOING TO BE TOTALLY BASKIN ROBBINS TONIGHT. 179 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,295 - 31 FLAVORS OF FUN? - DUH. 180 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,964 OH, MY GOD, COME TO THE PARTY TONIGHT 181 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,233 MY SORORITY'S CO-HOSTING WITH THE LAMBDA DELTA RHO BOYS. 182 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,701 THE THEME IS TIGHT AND BRIGHT. 183 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,969 - THAT'S MY FAVORITE LOOK. 184 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,438 - I'M THE PRESIDENT. 185 00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,639 - OH, MY GOD, I'M A PRESIDENT TOO. 186 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,040 - [gasps] 187 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,207 - HEY, YOU SHOULD STOP BY 188 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,443 THIS FUND-RAISER TONIGHT. 189 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:16,710 THE LITERACY CENTER-- 190 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,046 MY BAND AC/V.C. ANDREWS IS PLAYING. 191 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,148 - CAN'T RESIST A GOOD PUN. 192 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,984 I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT. - DO THAT. 193 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,089 - HEY, SHOULDN'T YOU BE AT CHEER PRACTICE? 194 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,824 - NOT UNLESS I WANT TO RALPH! 195 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,326 HAVE YOU SEEN LISSA'S FACE WHEN SHE CALLS OUT CHEERS? 196 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,728 BARF CITY. 197 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,163 AND I CAN'T EVEN BONE MY SORROWS AWAY, 198 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,598 BECAUSE AUSTIN'S AWAY 199 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,600 AT SOME DUMBASS ROBOTICS COMPETITION ALL WEEKEND. 200 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,835 LIFE SUCKS. 201 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,471 - TELL ME ABOUT IT. 202 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,305 AUTUMN HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY TEXTS ALL DAY. 203 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,174 USUALLY WE'RE IN CONSTANT CONTACT. 204 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,309 THIS HARD TO GET... 205 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,679 IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. - THAT IS IT. 206 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:54,081 NO MORE WALLOWING. LET'S DO SOMETHING FUN TONIGHT. 207 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,316 MY MOM'S OUT OF TOWN. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME OVER? 208 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,486 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GROUNDED. - WHO'S LEAVING THE HOUSE? 209 00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,153 - I'M IN. 210 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,989 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME THE THREE OF US HUNG OUT? 211 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,357 - AWESOME, OKAY. COME OVER AROUND 9:00? 212 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,894 - YOU GUYS HAVING A PARTY? I CAN BRING THE BOOZE. 213 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,562 I HAVE THIS HUGE STASH OF CRISTAL LEFT OVER 214 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,498 FROM WHEN I WAS DATING THIS DUMB WANNABE RAPPER. 215 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,933 - WE CAN GET OUR OWN ALCOHOL. THANKS. 216 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,868 - NO, EVA, YOU SHOULD COME. 217 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,737 - REALLY? I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE. 218 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,272 - I'M SO SURE. - WE'D LOVE IT. 219 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,341 - AWESOME. I'LL SEE YOU THEN. - OKAY. 220 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,010 - WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 221 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,912 THAT GIRL IS A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER. 222 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,581 SHE'S ALWAYS UP IN EVERYONE'S BUSINESS. 223 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:31,619 - WHO'S A CREEPER? WHO'S UP IN EVERYONE'S BUSINESS? 224 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,587 - I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GO TO THAT FUND-RAISER, 225 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,888 BUT THAT IDEA GIVES ME A SAD. 226 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,223 ANYWAY, WE HAVE TO START THINKING 227 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,591 WHAT SORORITY WE WANT TO PLEDGE, 228 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,359 BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT TO BE GREEK GEEKS. 229 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,594 - MAYBE T HAD A POINT. 230 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,095 THIS WAS OUR FIRST COLLEGE PARTY-- 231 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,565 DRINKING WINE, BOYS IN BLAZERS, 232 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,299 SMART CONVERSATIONS ABOUT POLITICS 233 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,801 AND ART WITH A CAPITAL "A," AND-- 234 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,441 - HEY, EVERYBODY, EDWARD FORTYHANDS! 235 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,376 WHOO! 236 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,116 - MY DREAMS OF COLLEGIATE SOPHISTICATION 237 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,919 HAD BEEN POPPED LIKE SO MANY BOTTLES OF OFF-BRAND VODKA, 238 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,320 WHICH, ALONG WITH WATERY BEER, 239 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,456 WAS ALL THERE WAS TO DRINK AT THIS PARTY. 240 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,992 - BUT REALLY, BEING A KAPS GAMS IS ALL ABOUT TRADITIONS-- 241 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,663 YOU KNOW, PANCAKE BREAKFASTS, FORMALS, MATCHING TATTOOS. 242 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,264 I MEAN, LIKE, ISN'T IT ALL TO DIE FOR. 243 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,466 - DEATH HAS NEVER SOUNDED SO GOOD. 244 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:22,670 - YOUR SORORITY IS AMAZE-TITS. 245 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:25,072 VODKA PLUS GIRL TALK PLUS COMMUNAL CLOSET 246 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,574 EQUALS HAPPY TAMARA. 247 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,108 - OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVE TO RUSH KAPPA GAMMA. 248 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,843 YOU ARE, LIKE, THE PERFECT SISTER. 249 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,247 - I'M GONNA GO TO THE LITERACY FUND-RAISER. 250 00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,315 - OH. 251 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,416 OKAY, I'LL COME WITH YOU. 252 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,785 - NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY. 253 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,019 YOU'RE HAVING FUN HERE. STAY. 254 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,020 - ARE YOU SURE? 255 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,354 - YES. 256 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,756 IN HIGH SCHOOL, 257 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,592 TAMARA AND I WERE ALWAYS ON THE SAME PAGE. 258 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,760 EVEN IF WE GET INTO THE SAME SCHOOL, 259 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,829 WAS THIS THE END OF JENNARA? 260 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:51,031 - OOH! 261 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,600 POUR ME A SHOT. 262 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,102 - SERIOUSLY, WHY HASN'T AUTUMN TEXTED YET? 263 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,604 DO YOU THINK SHE'S WITH ANOTHER GUY? 264 00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,405 - I'VE GOT TO 'GRAM THIS. 265 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,276 ANYWAY, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I PARTIED AT BUTTER. 266 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,679 - THAT WAS AN AMAZING STORY. - YEAH. 267 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,280 SO AMAZING I THINK IT WAS JUST ACTUALLY 268 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,349 A RETOLD EPISODE OF GOSSIP GIRL. 269 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,784 - THAT SHOW IS REALLY TRUE TO LIFE. 270 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,385 I GUESS IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK, 271 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,287 IT'D BE KIND OF HARD TO BELIEVE, 272 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,891 BUT FOR US NEW YORKERS, IT ACTUALLY SEEMED KIND OF TAME. 273 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,192 NO, YOU'RE NOT TAME. 274 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,629 YOU'RE A WILD MAN. I CAN TELL. 275 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,631 - OH, YEAH? - FOR SURE. 276 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,800 - OH, YEAH. WILD OLD MATTY MCKITTEN. 277 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,535 [laughter] 278 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,903 - MCKITTEN. 279 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,905 OH, MY--I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT. 280 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,473 RAWR! - [hisses] 281 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,642 - WHAT'S MCKITTEN? 282 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:35,976 - INSIDE JOKE. 283 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,246 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY 284 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,648 IS THAT THERE'S A HOT TUB RIGHT THERE 285 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,649 AND WE'RE NOT ALL IN IT. 286 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,316 - YES! HOT TUB. 287 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,785 GREAT. SADIE? 288 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,254 - I WOULD, BUT I DON'T HAVE MY SUIT. 289 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,555 - WHO NEEDS ONE? 290 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,025 - OKAY. 291 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,667 - OH, WOW. 292 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,235 - SADIE, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE. 293 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,370 - WHY WOULDN'T I? 294 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,478 - DAMN, SADIE. 295 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,280 - THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE SOUTH OF FRANCE. 296 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,614 EVERYONE'S TOPLESS. 297 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,050 THEY'RE NOT PRUDES LIKE AMERICANS. 298 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,659 SADIE, I REALLY ADMIRE HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE 299 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:26,927 WITH YOUR BODY. 300 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,396 YOU'RE SO BRAVE. - I'M NOT BRAVE. 301 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,168 I HAVE AMAZING TITS, 302 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,739 UNLIKE YOU AND YOUR SAD FLOPPERS. 303 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,319 - HEY, YOU MADE IT. 304 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,123 - WOULDN'T MISS AC/V.C. ANDREWS. 305 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,390 - TOTALLY. 306 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,192 WAIT. YOU KNOW THAT WAS A JOKE, RIGHT? 307 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,394 - YEAH, YEAH. 308 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,196 BUT YOU'RE TOTALLY MISSING OUT 309 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,898 ON AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A SONG CALLED FOR THOSE ABOUT TO READ. 310 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,800 - YOU READ ME ALL NIGHT LONG. 311 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,869 - HIGHWAY TO THE ATTIC. 312 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,304 THAT ONE-- THAT ONE WAS A STRETCH. 313 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,111 - HEY, UH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 314 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,948 - UH-OH. WAS IT MY PUN THAT SENT LUKE RUNNING, 315 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,583 OR WAS HE JUST DISTRACTED BY A SHINIER OBJECT? 316 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,887 UGH, WERE COLLEGE GUYS JUST VARSITY HIGH-SCHOOL BOYS? 317 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,857 [applause] 318 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,261 - GROWING UP, MY MOM HAD TO WORK MULTIPLE JOBS 319 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,796 JUST TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON, 320 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,564 AND THERE WASN'T A LOT OF SPARE TIME 321 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,132 TO HELP ME LEARN HOW TO READ. 322 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,568 PROGRAMS LIKE THIS HELPED ME LEARN TO LOVE BOOKS, 323 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:44,671 AND I AM SO PROUD TO BE PASSING IT ON 324 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:47,640 TO THE NEXT GENERATION, 325 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,477 ALONG WITH MY LOVE OF BAD PUNS. 326 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,145 - WATCHING LUKE SPEAK ELOQUENTLY, 327 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,681 I COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW SEXY A SPEECH COULD BE. 328 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,117 COLLEGE GUYS WEREN'T VARSITY HIGH-SCHOOL BOYS. 329 00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:00,020 COLLEGE GUYS WERE A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME. 330 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,055 - HOW WAS THAT DOUBLE MONSTER BURGER? 331 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,323 - GREAT. 332 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:06,359 [groans] I THINK I NEED TO LIE DOWN. 333 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,528 - SO WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXT? 334 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,798 THAT TIKI BAR ON MAIN STREET LOOKED FUN. 335 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,100 OOH, MAYBE DANCING. 336 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,367 HMM. 337 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,669 KEVIN. 338 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,670 KEVIN! 339 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,614 - OH, I GOT TO PASS. 340 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,249 I'M IN THE MAGIC ZONE, 341 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,284 AND I DO NOT WANT TO HIT HANGOVER CITY--POPULATION, T. 342 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,953 OR WORSE, CRUISE INTO THE YAK ZONE. 343 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:33,954 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 344 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,588 IT'S TOTALLY FINE. 345 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,724 THE TRICK IS TO KEEP A TALLY OF HOW MANY YOU DRINK. 346 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,725 HERE. 347 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,231 [both giggle] 348 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,232 OOH, SORRY. 349 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,233 [both gasp] 350 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,534 OH, MY GOD, MRS. HAMIL-- 351 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,535 - SHH! 352 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,443 - THAT'S THE BEST PART ABOUT COLLEGE. 353 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,046 YOU GET EXPOSED TO ALL THESE COOL PEOPLE, 354 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,915 LIKE PRETTY GIRLS WITH KILLER TASTE IN BOOKS. 355 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,122 DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE? 356 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,992 - I ABSOLUTELY DO. 357 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:15,362 [drum roll] 358 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,164 [all cheer] 359 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:20,000 - WE SHOULD DO MORE SHOTS. - YOU GOT IT. 360 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,869 - BOOP! 361 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,470 - TO NEW FRIENDS. 362 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,007 OH, PARTY FOUL. 363 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,375 - OKAY. 364 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:29,877 TIME FOR BED FOR YOU. 365 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,511 - SADIE, I CAN PUT HIM TO BED. 366 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,080 - I'M SURE YOU'D LOVE THE CHANCE, 367 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,681 BUT YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH. 368 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,217 COME ON, MATTY. 369 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,119 - ALL RIGHT. 370 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:45,192 - IT'S JUST A LITTLE CATFISHING. IT'S TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL. 371 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,994 OH, MY BUTT'S BUZZING. 372 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,599 - OH, BUMMER. 373 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,134 HE TEXTED AUTUMN BEFORE HE TEXTED YOU. 374 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,602 - BUT HE TEXTED ME-- 375 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,238 ME, TAMARA, NOT JUST AUTUMN. 376 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,472 IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE. 377 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,446 [both laugh] 378 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,781 - I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME WATER. 379 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,918 TRY NOT TO PUKE ON YOURSELF. 380 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,470 - [sighs] OKAY. 381 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,006 DRINK THIS. 382 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,742 OH, NOT TOO FAST. 383 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,014 - SADIE, YOU ARE SO NICE TO ME. 384 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,184 YOU KNOW, EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE SO MEAN, 385 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,819 AND YOU ARE, BUT YOU ARE SO NICE TO ME. 386 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,656 - OKAY, DRUNKY. - YOU ARE. 387 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:53,493 YOU'RE SO NICE, AND YOU ARE SO PRETTY. 388 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,996 [laughs] 389 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:56,997 - OH. 390 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,498 - SO PRETTY. 391 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,434 HEY, WHY DIDN'T WE EVER HOOK UP? 392 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,972 - OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS? 393 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,107 I TRIED. 394 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,577 DON'T YOU REMEMBER PASSING OUT THAT NEW YEAR'S EVE? 395 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,046 - OH, THAT WAS DUMB. 396 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:16,183 THAT WAS-- OH, THAT WAS SO DUMB. 397 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,218 IT WAS A BIG REGRET. 398 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,553 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 399 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,489 THE BIGGEST. 400 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,563 - EW! - [spits] 401 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,565 IT'S LIKE KISSING MY SISTER... 402 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,900 [both laugh] 403 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,303 WHICH, FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU COULD BE. 404 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:37,370 - WHAT? 405 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,008 - I'M ADOPTED. 406 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,010 - SURE, MCKIBBEN. - NO, IT GETS BETTER. 407 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:46,013 MY PARENTS-- THEY NEVER TOLD ME. 408 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,248 - OH, MY GOD. 409 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,383 - YEAH. 410 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,452 - DO THEY KNOW YOU KNOW? 411 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,487 - THEY LIED TO ME MY WHOLE LIFE, 412 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:58,758 SO WHY SHOULD I TELL THEM THE TRUTH? 413 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,463 IT JUST SUCKS. 414 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:14,141 - I KNOW. 415 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,909 I KNOW. I'M SORRY. 416 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:20,080 - HEY, WHAT'S A SEVEN-LETTER WORD FOR PALS, 417 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,348 STARTS WITH A "C"? 418 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,649 - WAKING UP WITH A HIGH-SCHOOL BOY, 419 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,051 YOU SCRAMBLE TO PULL YOUR CLOTHES ON 420 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,485 AND GET HOME BEFORE CURFEW. 421 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,187 WAKING UP WITH A COLLEGE BOY, 422 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,556 COFFEE AND CROSSWORDS. 423 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,058 I COULD GET USED TO THIS. 424 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,160 "CRONIES." - AH. 425 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,494 YOU'RE A GENIUS. 426 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,364 YOU'RE TOTALLY GONNA ACE THAT INTERVIEW. 427 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,431 - OH, MY GOD. 428 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,267 WHAT TIME IS IT? 429 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,337 - 8:30. 430 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,338 - I SHOULD GO. 431 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,339 I KNEW THE SCORE. 432 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,540 I DIDN'T NEED TO DTR, 433 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,542 BECAUSE THIS "R" WAS ALREADY D'D. 434 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,945 THIS WAS A ONE-NIGHT THING, AND THAT'S OKAY. 435 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:55,748 - HEY, I'M GONNA BE IN PALOS VERDES LATER THIS WEEK. 436 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,250 I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 437 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,086 - I'D LIKE THAT. 438 00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:01,921 - THEN IT'S A DATE. 439 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,360 - OKAY, THAT LAST PART WAS A LIE. 440 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,463 THIS IS WAY BETTER. 441 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:15,001 [cell phone vibrates] 442 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:18,004 - [coughs] 443 00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,005 [groans] 444 00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,973 OW, OW, OW, OW. 445 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,111 [bleep]! 446 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,146 OW, THAT HURT. 447 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,630 - REALLY? WALK OF SHAME? 448 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,132 AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR THAT? 449 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,234 - [bleep]. LISTEN, NOTHING HAPPENED. 450 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,469 - I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT THAT. - AND WHY IS THAT? 451 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:53,840 BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU, I HAD QUITE A FEW OPPORTUNITIES. 452 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,842 - LACEY, I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY. 453 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:56,943 I'M JUST... 454 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,479 I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED. 455 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,814 - OH, PLEASE. ARE YOU PARENTING ME? 456 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:02,815 BECAUSE EW. 457 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,217 - WE'RE ADULTS, LACEY. 458 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,885 - I'M WELL AWARE OF THAT, KEVIN. 459 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,720 - WHICH MEANS THAT WE DON'T STAY OUT ALL NIGHT. 460 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,055 HOW WOULD IT LOOK FOR JENNA IF-- 461 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,823 - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 462 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:11,824 SHUT UP. 463 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,160 - EXCUSE ME? 464 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,927 - YOU HAD FOUR YEARS OF DOING THIS. 465 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,263 I NEVER GOT TO GO TO COLLEGE, 466 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,897 AND I NEVER GOT TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE, 467 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:21,301 BECAUSE I WAS BUSY RAISING OUR DAUGHTER. 468 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,337 SO I THINK I DESERVE ONE GOD DAMN NIGHT 469 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,573 OF THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE. 470 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,175 AND FURTHERMORE, 471 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:31,178 I JUST GOT IN FROM SIX HOURS OF FOREPLAY 472 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,946 WITH SOME VERY HOT COLLEGE GUYS, 473 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:38,285 SO SOMEBODY BETTER FINISH ME OFF, 474 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:41,188 AND I MEAN PRONTO. 475 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,989 - SO, MISS KAPLAN, 476 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,192 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING TO THIS SCHOOL? 477 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,427 - UH... 478 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,829 T... 479 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,631 T... 480 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,433 ACRONYMS. 481 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,801 TAMARA. 482 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,369 - I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND. 483 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,839 WHAT ARE THOSE MARKS ON YOUR ARM? 484 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,775 - THESE ARE REMINDERS 485 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:07,547 OF ALL THE WAYS I WOULD BE AN ASSET TO THIS SCHOOL. 486 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,216 THERE ARE... 487 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,218 OH, GOD, 12 MARKS-- WAYS. 488 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,552 THERE ARE 12 WAYS. 489 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:13,553 - AND WHAT ARE THOSE WAYS? 490 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:17,457 - WELL, THE FIRST IS, UM... 491 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,725 UM... 492 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,227 OH, GOD, WHAT IS THAT? 493 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,528 - OH, THAT. 494 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,629 [retching quietly] 495 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,697 IT'S JUST MY HARVARD DIPLOMA. 496 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,269 - AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED 497 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,070 THAT THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF LITERATURE 498 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,239 IS NOTHING WITHOUT LITERACY. 499 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,706 IF I'M ACCEPTED HERE, 500 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,375 I WANT TO VOLUNTEER AT THE LITERACY CENTER 501 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,143 TO PASS ON WHAT I'VE LEARNED TO THE NEXT GENERATION. 502 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,911 - THAT'S FANTASTIC. 503 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,480 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, MISS HAMILTON. 504 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,649 YOU SEEM LIKE AN EXCELLENT FIT. 505 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:57,029 [camera shutter clicks] 506 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,306 - HEY. 507 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,475 HOW WAS YOUR INTERVIEW? - KILLED IT. 508 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:09,942 BUT THIS SCHOOL ISN'T THAT FUN. 509 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,944 I DON'T THINK I WANT TO GO HERE AFTER ALL. 510 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:12,945 - I THINK I DO. 511 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,481 BEFORE THIS WEEKEND, 512 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,082 I PICTURED COLLEGE AS HIGH SCHOOL BUT BETTER-- 513 00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,285 T AND I IN A PERMANENT SLUMBER PARTY, 514 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,253 MY PARENTS HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY. 515 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,255 AFTER THIS WEEKEND, IT WAS CLEAR 516 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,657 COLLEGE WOULDN'T BE ANYTHING LIKE THE WAY I PICTURED IT. 517 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,359 [cell phone vibrates] 518 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,407 [engine turning over] 519 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,775 IT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER. 520 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:46,713 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 521 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,047 - THE MR. PHHS PAGEANT IS IN FIVE DAYS. 522 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,416 - ARE YOU COMING TO JENNA'S PAGEANT? 523 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,417 - MOM. - I'D LOVE TO COME. 524 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,751 - AH. - GREAT. 525 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,185 - YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE CATFISHING. 526 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,921 - ALMOST. - THINGS ARE GETTING INTENSE. 527 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,358 I'M REALLY INTO HER. - YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER. 528 00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,360 - HELLO? - AUTUMN, DID YOU HEAR MY SONG? 529 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,029 - I LOVED IT. 530 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,030 - IT'S YOU. 36843

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