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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:10,567 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,733 - "HAVE WE MET?" 3 00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:16,267 - "YOU ARE CUTE." 4 00:00:16,367 --> 00:00:18,400 - I'M AROUND TO TALK LATER AFTER SCHOOL. 5 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,600 - I'LL HIT YOU UP LATER, BUT IT WON'T BE TO TALK. 6 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,500 - OH, HEY, JENNA. - IS MATTY HERE? 7 00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,067 - I HAD OVERSLEPT, BUT I DIDN'T REMEMBER SLEEPING. 8 00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:29,367 I HAD BEEN TOSSING AND TURNING ALL NIGHT. 9 00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:31,533 WHY HAD EVA BEEN AT MATTY'S HOUSE? 10 00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:32,900 WERE THEY HOOKING UP? 11 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,767 WAS MATTY CONFIDING IN HER ABOUT HIS LIFE, 12 00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:37,767 AND WHERE WAS MY STUPID PALOS HILLS HIGH HOODIE? 13 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:40,500 I WAS ALREADY LATE TO TAMARA'S SENIOR HALLWAY DECORATING SESH 14 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,000 FOR SPIRIT WEEK, BUT I WAS DISPIRITED. 15 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,600 THERE WAS ZERO PEP IN MY STEP. 16 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:48,200 [cell phone rings] 17 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,167 HEY, I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 18 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,700 I KNOW IT'S NOT AN EXCUSE, 19 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,500 BUT EVA WAS AT MATTY'S HOUSE LAST NIGHT. 20 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,300 I MEAN, I TRY TO BE A GOOD FRIEND, AND THEN HE GOES OUT 21 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,300 AND REPLACES ME WITH THE NEXT RANDOM GIRL HE CAN FIND. 22 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,100 AND WHAT'S HER DEAL ANYWAY? 23 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,267 I MEAN, SHE THINKS SHE'S SO COOL AND KNOWS EVERYTHING. 24 00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:02,833 IT'S, LIKE, STOP TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE. 25 00:01:02,933 --> 00:01:04,233 AND WHY ARE HER LEGS SO LONG? 26 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,067 SHE LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING ALIEN. 27 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,067 - UM, IT'S EVA. 28 00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:10,600 TAMARA'S DOING A MILLION THINGS, AND SHE WANTED TO SEE 29 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,433 IF YOU COULD BRING HER A LARGE COFFEE. 30 00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,100 - IS THAT JENNA? AND A CRONUT. 31 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,333 - AND A CRONUT. 32 00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:17,800 - SURE THING. 33 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:19,333 [keys clacking] 34 00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,600 [thud] 35 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:25,067 - [gasps] CRONUT ME. 36 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,767 - WOW. LOOKS LIKE MATTY'S NEW FRIEND EVA'S HERE. 37 00:01:27,867 --> 00:01:30,600 - DO I HEAR A BITCH PITCH IN YOUR VOICE? 38 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,467 SHE VOLUNTEERED FOR SENIOR SPIRIT COMMITTEE. 39 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,900 - YEAH, WELL, I THINK SHE ALSO VOLUNTEERED 40 00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:35,133 TO BE HIS NEW SIDE PIECE. 41 00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:36,667 - SO? SHE'S AN EAGER BEAVER. 42 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:40,400 OR HE'S EAGER FOR HER-- - NO, DON'T. 43 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,600 - ENOUGH. 44 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,267 STOP MOPING OVER MATTY. 45 00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:45,667 THE EASIEST WAY TO GET OVER GETTING BUSY WITH HIM 46 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:48,167 IS TO GET BUSY DOING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE ELSE, 47 00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:50,833 BUT SINCE YOU COULD BENEFIT FROM HAVING A LOCK ON YOUR BOX, 48 00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:52,233 YOU SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON-- 49 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,333 [cell phone vibrates] ONE SECOND. 50 00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,333 - DID YOU GET ANOTHER PHONE? - NO. 51 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,333 WELL, YES, BUT THIS ONE'S AUTUMN'S. 52 00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:01,233 - WAIT. WHO'S AUTUMN? - AUTUMN SAN DIEGO-- 53 00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:03,733 THE ONLINE PERSONA I CREATED TO CATFISH JAKE. 54 00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:07,167 - OKAY, AS YOUR FRIEND, IT IS MY JOB TO TELL YOU 55 00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:09,700 THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WEIRD, STALKER-Y, AND NOT HEALTHY. 56 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,967 END IT. 57 00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:13,133 - CHILL WITH THE FREAK AND CRITIQUE. 58 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,333 OF COURSE I'LL END IT, JUST NOT NOW. 59 00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:17,067 I AM TOO BUSY TO BREAK UP AGAIN. 60 00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:18,233 - BUT IF YOU-- - HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 61 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:19,733 I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU. 62 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,667 YOU SHOULD COCHAIR SPIRIT COMMITTEE WITH ME. 63 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,233 IT'S A TOTAL RESUME PADDER, AND I NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK. 64 00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:25,833 IF THE SENIORS DON'T WIN SPIRIT WEEK, 65 00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:27,633 I'LL JUMP OVERBOARD. 66 00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,167 - YOU DON'T NEED ME. 67 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:30,833 I'M SURE THAT IT'LL BE SMOOTH SAILING 68 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,067 NOW THAT YOU'RE IN CHARGE. 69 00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:34,067 BUT I REALLY DO NEED YOU TO SHOW ME 70 00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:37,067 WHERE TO PUT THESE, UM, RAVE STICKS. 71 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,500 - IT'S A ROBOT ARM. 72 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,733 THE THEME IS THE FUTURE. DUH! 73 00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,233 [whistle blows] 74 00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:46,367 THE BANNER IS CROOKED! - NICE ROBOT PENISES. 75 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,300 - CAN YOU HELP US, PLEASE, WITH THIS? 76 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,200 - NO. YOUR PRESIDENCY, YOUR PROBLEM. 77 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:55,233 - MATTY, CAN YOU HELP? - SURE. 78 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:56,733 - OH. 79 00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:58,200 [grunts] OKAY. 80 00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,400 - GOT IT? 81 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,333 OKAY, CATCH YOU LATER, E. 82 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:04,767 - HEY. 83 00:03:04,867 --> 00:03:06,267 JUST ABOUT LAST NIGHT, 84 00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,233 NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND MATTY. 85 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:09,733 HE JUST WANTED TO TALK. 86 00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:11,567 - IT'S FINE, WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. 87 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:14,533 - UGH, THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS. 88 00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:16,267 - THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS, OR THE S.S., 89 00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:18,967 ARE THE MORTAL ENEMIES OF SENIOR GIRLS EVERYWHERE. 90 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:21,067 SOMEHOW THESE GIRLS HAD MAGICALLY MORPHED 91 00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,233 OVER THE SUMMER FROM DORKY FRESHMEN 92 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,533 TO A HOARD OF CLEAVAGE-BEARING, SHORT-SHORTS-WEARING, 93 00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,533 GIGGLING KESHA CLONES WHO WERE ONLY TOO HAPPY 94 00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:29,700 TO HANG ALL OVER THE SENIOR GUYS. 95 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,300 - WHAT'S WITH THEIR HAIR EXTENSIONS? 96 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,133 THEY DON'T MATCH THEIR WHORE-DROBE. 97 00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:34,967 IS THIS SOME KIND OF SKANKY CULT THING? 98 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,233 - ORANGE MEANS THEY'RE WILLING TO KISS, 99 00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:37,800 PINK--BJs, 100 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,867 RED--THEY'RE WILLING TO GO ALL THE WAY, 101 00:03:39,967 --> 00:03:41,433 AND SILVER-- - BACK DOOR? 102 00:03:41,533 --> 00:03:43,233 - BACK DOOR, FRONT DOOR, BASEMENT, AND ATTIC. 103 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:45,200 - [gasps] SLUTS. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 104 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,133 TAMARA, DO NOT USE THAT TERM. 105 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:49,633 THERE WILL BE NO SLUT-SHAMING AT THIS SCHOOL. 106 00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,600 I PREFER "SLAPPERS" OR "SLAGS." 107 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,767 IT'S BRITISH. MM. 108 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,867 - VAL, YOUR HAIR IS VERY COLORFUL. 109 00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:58,767 - OH, THANKS. YOU NOTICED. 110 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:00,967 IT'S THE HOT NEW TREND. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. 111 00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:02,167 - WE AREN'T. 112 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,667 - YOUR POINT? 113 00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,067 - VAL, I'M NOT SURE YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND 114 00:04:05,133 --> 00:04:07,200 WHAT THOSE EXTENSIONS REALLY MEAN. 115 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,167 - YEAH, I DO. 116 00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:11,667 THEY MEAN THAT YOU OLD LADIES ARE BEHIND THE TIMES. 117 00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:15,100 SO GO BACK TO YOUR HARD CANDIES AND YOUR MOTHBALLS, 118 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,867 DAME JUDI DENCHES, BECAUSE I... 119 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,167 AM THE FUTURE. 120 00:04:20,267 --> 00:04:22,967 - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 121 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,667 THAT'S VA-JENNA'S JOB, NOT THE CAPTAIN'S. 122 00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:26,533 - I DON'T MIND. 123 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,367 I LIKE SORTING THE POM-POMS. THEY'RE SO COLORFUL AND FUN. 124 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,767 AND SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PRETEND THEY'RE LITTLE FLUFFY DOGS. 125 00:04:32,867 --> 00:04:34,433 [imitates barking] 126 00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:36,067 [laughs, imitates bark] 127 00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:37,867 - SO I WAS READING THE BIBLE LAST NIGHT. 128 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:38,933 - [gasps] REALLY? 129 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,200 THAT'S SO AWESOME. 130 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,467 WERE YOU AT A HOTEL OR SOMETHING? 131 00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:42,767 - MY DAD BOUGHT ONE WHEN HE THOUGHT 132 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,633 HE WAS GOING TO WHITE-COLLAR PRISON. 133 00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:46,067 ANYWAY, I READ THAT VERSE 134 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,200 ABOUT HOW THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH. 135 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,200 - [gasps] MATTHEW 5:5... 136 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,133 OR MATTHEW HIGH FIVE. 137 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:54,167 - RIGHT, BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE 138 00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:55,500 THAT CHEERING IS WHAT JESUS WOULD DO. 139 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,933 I MEAN, SHOUTING AND WEARING SHORT SKIRTS 140 00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:59,700 ISN'T EXACTLY MEEK, IS IT? 141 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,267 - WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT, 142 00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,200 BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT JESUS WOULD BE A CHEERLEADER, 143 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,367 AND DEFINITELY MARY. 144 00:05:08,467 --> 00:05:11,200 - THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT. 145 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,400 REVERSE YOU'RE WELCOME. 146 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,233 THANKS. 147 00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:19,533 YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT THE POWER 148 00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:21,400 OF THE CAPTAINCY HAS REALLY BEEN GOING TO YOUR HEAD, 149 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,267 BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE. 150 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:26,067 - PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT? - DON'T WORRY. 151 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,367 THEY SAID THE SAME ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS CAPTAIN, 152 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:30,400 THOUGH "GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL" ISN'T EXACTLY MY BRAND. 153 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,400 OH, ANOTHER FUN FACT FROM THE BIBLE. 154 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,267 DID YOU KNOW THAT "JUDAS" AND "LISSA" HAVE 155 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,667 THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS? 156 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:38,867 SO WEIRD. 157 00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:41,333 [chuckles] 158 00:05:41,433 --> 00:05:44,233 - IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST COMPETITION OF SPIRIT WEEK-- 159 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,367 CHUBBY BUNNY. 160 00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,267 [applause] 161 00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:50,833 YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES. - I'M AFRAID I DON'T. 162 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,067 IS CHUBBY BUNNY SOME SORT OF FAT RODENT? 163 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:54,833 - NO, IT'S A PHYSICAL CHALLENGE. 164 00:05:54,933 --> 00:05:56,400 YOU PUT A MARSHMALLOW IN YOUR MOUTH, 165 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,867 AND YOU SAY "CHUBBY BUNNY." 166 00:05:57,967 --> 00:05:59,500 THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY "CHUBBY BUNNY" CLEARLY 167 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,667 WITH THE MOST MALLOWS IN THEIR MOUTH WINS. 168 00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:04,267 - THAT IS RUDE! - SO PIGGISH. 169 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:06,333 - YOU'RE BOTH RUDE AND PIGGISH, AND IT'S TRADITION. 170 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,433 NOW, CAN EACH CLASS REP PLEASE COME TO THE STAGE? 171 00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,467 [all giggling] 172 00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:12,800 AND, OF COURSE, THE SENIOR-CLASS REP 173 00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,967 AND THREE-TIME CHUBBY BUNNY CHAMP MATTY MCKIBBEN, 174 00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,600 COME ON UP. 175 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,400 [cheers and applause] - PLEASE! 176 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,100 LET ME DO IT THIS YEAR. 177 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,433 I'M NOT ALLOWED SUGAR AT HOME. - GO FOR IT, MAN. 178 00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,233 - BUT IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT WE WIN THIS. 179 00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,633 - KYLE'S GONNA KILL IT. LOOK AT THAT INTENSITY. 180 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,333 - UGH, FINE. GET UP HERE, KYLE. 181 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,967 - MOVE. 182 00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:36,800 - ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, STUFF! 183 00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,300 - [clearly] CHUBBY BUNNY. 184 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,433 - [mumbling] CHUBBY BUNNY. 185 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,567 - [clearly] CHUBBY BUNNY. 186 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,233 [applause] 187 00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:45,333 - IT'S SUPPOSED TO MELT IN YOUR MOUTH NOT IN YOUR HAND. 188 00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:47,067 - I'M A DIABETIC. 189 00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:50,333 - UGH, FRESHMAN, IS YOUR BRAIN EVEN FULLY FORMED YET? 190 00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:52,100 DO YOU STILL BREAST-FEED? - NOT SINCE I WAS EIGHT. 191 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,600 all: EW. 192 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,733 - KYLE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM. 193 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,067 - CAN'T STOP. 194 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,100 SUGAR HIGH. 195 00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,567 SO HIGH! 196 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,733 - THE MARSHMALLOWS ARE BLAZED. 197 00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:03,133 - [laughs] 198 00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:05,100 - MY TURN. 199 00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:09,567 [all gasp] 200 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:11,500 - MMM. [giggles] 201 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,733 [mumbling] CHUBBY BUNNY. 202 00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:17,800 MMM. 203 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:18,800 [mumbling] CHUBBY BUNNY. 204 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,133 - SOPHOMORES WIN! 205 00:07:20,233 --> 00:07:23,600 [cheers and applause] 206 00:07:25,733 --> 00:07:28,067 - YES! IT IS ALL ABOUT MACKENZIE. 207 00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:29,667 THAT GIRL IS A PROFESSIONAL. 208 00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,400 - WE'RE TALKING STAR QUALITY. 209 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,367 - MATTY. 210 00:07:33,467 --> 00:07:34,533 ARE YOU OKAY? 211 00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:37,500 - I'M FINE. WHY? 212 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,500 - YOU'RE NOT UPSET ABOUT THE END OF YOUR CHUBBY BUNNY REIGN? 213 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,533 - YEAH, YEAH, I'M REALLY BROKEN UP ABOUT IT. 214 00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,233 - [chuckles] LISTEN... 215 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:48,300 I KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS CHANGED, AND IT'S COOL. 216 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,467 I JUST THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BE THE PERSON 217 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,900 THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO TALK TO ABOUT STUFF, 218 00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,133 NOT SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW. 219 00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:59,200 - SO YOU WANT ME TO RUN PEOPLE BY YOU BEFORE I TALK TO THEM? 220 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:01,233 - NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 221 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:03,133 - [giggles] MATTY, DID YOU SEE ME WIN? 222 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,700 - YEAH, YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS. 223 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,533 - SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE. 224 00:08:06,633 --> 00:08:07,933 EVA FOR CONVERSATION, 225 00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:10,200 AND MACKENZIE WAS CLEARLY AVAILABLE 226 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,600 FOR WHATEVER ELSE HE NEEDED. 227 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,533 I WAS RENDERED OBSOLETE IN LESS THAN A DAY. 228 00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:15,933 - WE LOOK LIKE IDIOTS. 229 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:18,100 - OH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ROBOTS. 230 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,800 - I KNOW, BUT WE LOOK LIKE HOBOS 231 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,433 WHO POSE LIKE STATUES FOR MONEY. 232 00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:23,967 - MY FRIEND DID THAT IN CENTRAL PARK, 233 00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:25,267 AND HE'S IN CIRQUE DU SOLEIL NOW. 234 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:26,900 - [gasps] I LOVE THE CIRCUS. 235 00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:29,267 - FASCINATING, EVA. 236 00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:32,733 - THIS LOOKS AMAZING, SENIORS. 237 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:36,700 IT'S LIKE SOMEONE FROM 1982'S IDEA OF THE FUTURE-- 238 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,467 VERY TRON. 239 00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,367 IT'S A COMPLIMENT... 240 00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:43,467 ALTHOUGH I COULD DO WITHOUT THE SPACE DILDOS. 241 00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:46,467 - SO ARE WE THE BEST HALLWAY? - LOOKS LIKE IT. 242 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,600 [distant cheering, electronic music] 243 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,467 WAIT. DO YOU HEAR THAT? 244 00:08:50,567 --> 00:08:58,400 * 245 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,667 - OH. 246 00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:07,100 - SOMEBODY GET THESE GIRLS BANANAS FAST! 247 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,867 - THESE LITTLE GIRLS LOST KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THEY'RE GOING. 248 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,200 - WOW. 249 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:16,300 - THIS IS GLORIOUS. 250 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,200 SOPHOMORES WIN THE HALLWAY CONTEST. 251 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,833 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN RECORDED HISTORY, 252 00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:23,833 THE SENIORS MIGHT LOSE SPIRIT WEEK. 253 00:09:23,933 --> 00:09:26,067 - [giggles] 254 00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:30,300 - [bleep] JUST GOT REAL. 255 00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:34,400 - THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS HAD SWEPT 256 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,067 ALL THE SPIRIT WEEK COMPETITIONS, 257 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,567 SO THE SENIOR GIRLS, DETERMINED TO PUT THOSE SKANKS 258 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,633 IN THEIR PLACE, WERE ALL ON TIME 259 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:41,167 FOR THE POWDER PUFF PRACTICE, 260 00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,600 EXCEPT TAMARA, WHICH WAS SO UN-TAMARA. 261 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,833 MEANWHILE, LISSA WAS TEACHING THE SENIOR GUYS CHEERS, 262 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:49,067 BUT MATTY AND JAKE WERE ALSO NO-SHOWS. 263 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,267 - THE CHEER GOES LIKE THIS-- 264 00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:52,233 KNEE 'EM IN THE GROIN! 265 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,100 GOUGE 'EM IN THE EYE! 266 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,167 KILL 'EM, KILL 'EM, PALOS HIGH! 267 00:09:57,267 --> 00:10:00,833 - WOW. I NEVER REALIZED HOW VIOLENT THAT CHEER WAS. 268 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,467 W-W-J-C-- 269 00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:08,133 WHAT WOULD JESUS CHEER? 270 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,633 - HEY. ARE WE PRACTICING? 271 00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:11,667 OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU OKAY? 272 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:13,333 - I WAS UP ALL NIGHT. 273 00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:16,167 "WHAT WAS YOUR EX LIKE?" 274 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,233 "CONTROLLING"? 275 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:23,267 "YOU MEAN ORGANIZED?" 276 00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,067 [scoffs] 277 00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:31,167 "WAS SHE AT LEAST CUTE?" 278 00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:32,900 "OKAY"? 279 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 "CRAZY"? 280 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,533 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "CRAZY"? 281 00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:41,567 WHERE IS HE? 282 00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:45,833 WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING? 283 00:10:45,933 --> 00:10:46,833 AM I CRAZY? 284 00:10:46,933 --> 00:10:49,000 - NO, HE IS. 285 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,500 SO DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED FOR PRACTICE? 286 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,633 - NO, BUT IT'S OKAY. 287 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,467 I'LL JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT TONIGHT AND LEARN THE PLAYS. 288 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,933 I'LL BE FINE. FINE! 289 00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:59,400 - I'LL COACH POWDER PUFF. - REALLY? 290 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,500 - GIVE ME THE CLIPBOARD AND THE WHISTLE. 291 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,067 [whistle blows] 292 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:07,500 - HEY, POUNDER MUFFS, CAN WE PRACTICE ALREADY? 293 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,333 - PRACTICE IS POSTPONED UNTIL TOMORROW. 294 00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,833 I'M TAKING OVER COACHING DUTIES, AND I NEED TIME TO PREPARE. 295 00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:13,233 - YOU CAN'T COACH. 296 00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:15,700 ALL YOU KNOW IS LOSING! THE POINT IS TO WIN. 297 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,467 - I COULD TEACH YOU SOME PLAYS IF YOU WANT. 298 00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:19,067 I WAS TUTORED BY A YALE FOOTBALL PLAYER. 299 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:20,633 - I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. 300 00:11:20,733 --> 00:11:23,567 I'M FINE. I JUST NEED TO ORGANIZE MY PLAYBOOK. 301 00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,367 AND BY THAT, I MEANT LEARN EVERYTHING THERE WAS TO KNOW 302 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,067 ABOUT FOOTBALL BEFORE TOMORROW, 303 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,333 BECAUSE IF THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS WERE MAKING A PLAY 304 00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:32,067 FOR OUR SENIOR BOYS, THEY WERE GONNA BE INTERCEPTED. 305 00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:35,133 - MOM, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. 306 00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,500 - THIS IS A TALK WE SHOULD HAVE HAD A WHILE AGO. 307 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,067 - I AGREE. 308 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,367 - IT HAS TO DO WITH SOMETHING IN THE GARAGE. 309 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:42,567 - YEAH. 310 00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,367 - THIS IS HARD. WHERE DO I START? 311 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:46,967 - JUST BE HONEST WITH ME. 312 00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:49,700 - AFTER THE DIVORCE, A LOT OF THINGS CHANGED, 313 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,500 PARTICULARLY WITH MY FINANCES. 314 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,967 WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. 315 00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:56,167 SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW DISAPPOINTED I WAS 316 00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,200 TO FIND A DENT IN YOUR CAR. 317 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,100 - WHAT? 318 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,233 - I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KEPT IT FROM ME. 319 00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:04,800 - YEAH, IF I EVER FOUND OUT THAT YOU OR DAD 320 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:08,800 WERE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME, I'D BE SUPER UPSET. 321 00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,233 - HEY, DAD. 322 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,633 CAN YOU TEACH ME SOME FOOTBALL PLAYS? 323 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,800 - I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME. 324 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,233 SO, IF YOU CALL A BLAST, THEN WHAT? 325 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,133 - THE RUNNING BACK TAKES A QUICK HANDOFF FROM THE QUARTERBACK 326 00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:22,933 AND HITS THE HOLE BETWEEN THE GUARD AND TACKLE. 327 00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:24,533 - SO PROUD. 328 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,233 YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT MEMORIZING THESE PLAYS. 329 00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,467 - I JUST REALLY WANT TO WIN THIS GAME. 330 00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:30,267 - AND DON'T GET ME WRONG. 331 00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:32,367 I LOVE YOUR SUDDEN INTEREST IN FOOTBALL, 332 00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:33,967 BUT WHY DO YOU NEED TO WIN SO BADLY? 333 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:36,300 - JUST SENIOR PRIDE. 334 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,967 AND THERE ARE THESE SOPHOMORE GIRLS 335 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:39,967 WE'RE PLAYING AGAINST WHO ARE SO ANNOYING! 336 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:42,300 both: THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS? - HERE WE GO. 337 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,767 - HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT? 338 00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:45,800 - HONEY, THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS HAVE BEEN AROUND 339 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:48,200 SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. 340 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,967 - SHAMELESS, DISGUSTING, FILTHY. 341 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:52,800 - ALLY WAS AN ORIGINAL SOPHOMORE SLUT. 342 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:55,433 - LITTLE BITCH, BEFORE ME THE TRAMP STAMP WAS SIMPLY KNOWN 343 00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:57,733 AS A LOWER-BACK TATTOO. 344 00:12:57,833 --> 00:12:59,633 - THAT'S TRUE. - "O.G.S.S."-- 345 00:12:59,733 --> 00:13:01,600 "ORIGINAL SOPHOMORE SLUTS." 346 00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:04,500 OKAY, WELL, NOWADAYS THEY WEAR COLORED HAIR EXTENSIONS, SO... 347 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,633 - UGH. - THOSE NASTY LITTLE SKANKS. 348 00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:09,433 NO OFFENSE, ALLY. - OH. 349 00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:12,067 - OH, THEY WERE LIKE SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE ZOMBIES, 350 00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:15,300 AND THE BOYS JUST LOVED IT. 351 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,867 - BECAUSE GUYS ARE ASS(Bleep). 352 00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:19,700 - OH, YEAH, BLAME IT ON THE GUYS. 353 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,267 - WHO ELSE SHOULD WE BLAME, KEVIN? 354 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,667 - COME ON, SENIOR GIRLS WERE SO STRESSFUL 355 00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:26,333 AND CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONS. 356 00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:30,433 - SORRY BEING PREGNANT BROUGHT OUT A LOT OF EMOTIONS IN ME. 357 00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:33,933 - SWEETIE, I'M ALL FOR WINNING, BUT BEATING THE SOPHOMORE SLUT-- 358 00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,600 I MEAN, GIRLS-- 359 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,067 IS NOT GONNA KEEP YOUR GUY FRIENDS 360 00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,500 FROM HANGING OUT WITH THEM. 361 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,800 THEY'RE NOT BAD GUYS. THEY'RE SENIORS. 362 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,533 THEY JUST WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 363 00:13:42,633 --> 00:13:45,167 - SHOULD WE DO SHOTS? - OH, GOD. 364 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,067 [both laughing] - HEY, MAN. 365 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,433 COME HANG OUT WITH US WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH WORK. 366 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:50,600 - LET'S GET FRO YO. 367 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:51,967 - SURE, LET'S GO NOW. 368 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:54,767 I'M, UH-- I'M DONE WITH THIS JOB. 369 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,967 I DON'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING, AND I AM CONSTANTLY COLD. 370 00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,167 - DON'T YOU WANT THE EXTRA CASH? - NO, IT'S NOT WORTH IT, MAN. 371 00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:02,367 I AM SICK OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY ORDERING ME AROUND. 372 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,167 - YOU CAN ORDER ME AROUND. - LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 373 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:06,733 - WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 374 00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,067 WHILE YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK, YOUR SHIRT IS OFF. 375 00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,867 - WELL, I'M CLOCKING OUT FOR GOOD. 376 00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:13,933 I FEEL RIDICULOUS. - [giggles] RIDICULOUSLY HOT. 377 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:15,733 - LISTEN TO THE TINY TROLLOP. 378 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:19,233 - OH, YEAH? LATER. 379 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,667 LET'S GO, MACKENZIE. LET'S GET FRO YO. 380 00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:23,067 - O.M.G., I LOVE A BADASS, 381 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,533 ESPECIALLY A BADASS WITH A GOOD ASS. 382 00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:26,100 [chuckles] 383 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,267 - YOU LEAVE NOW, DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK. 384 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,133 [all laugh] 385 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:38,267 - WHY ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA? IT'S GEEK DAY. 386 00:14:38,367 --> 00:14:40,267 - I THOUGHT IT WAS GREEK DAY. 387 00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,200 - WHAT'S UP? 388 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,800 - I DON'T WANT TO BE CHEER CAPTAIN. 389 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,633 - WHAT? WHY? 390 00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:48,100 - BECAUSE... 391 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,300 BECAUSE... 392 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,200 BECAUSE... 393 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,467 - BECAUSE SHE'S COVETING THE CAPTAINCY, 394 00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:57,767 AND A WISE AND POWERFUL OLD MAN WITH A BEARD SAID THAT'S A SIN. 395 00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:59,633 - OKAY, I DON'T CARE WHAT SANTA SAID. 396 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,400 I NEED A MORE CONCRETE EXCUSE, LIKE AN INJURY. 397 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,233 FOR EXAMPLE, 398 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:06,067 WHAT IF I WERE TO HIT YOU ON YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW 399 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,267 WITH THIS TAPE DISPENSER? 400 00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:09,067 THAT WOULD TAKE YOU OUT, HUH? 401 00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:12,400 - NEVER MIND! I'LL BE CHEER CAPTAIN! 402 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:16,067 - AND THAT'S WHAT I CALL A VAL TEACHING MOMENT. 403 00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:21,067 I THINK I'LL REWARD MYSELF WITH A SPICY ITALIAN SUB. 404 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,233 [cheers and applause] - IT WAS GAME TIME. 405 00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:29,367 IT DIDN'T MATTER IF MATTY AND I WERE ON THE OUTS. 406 00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:31,100 IT WAS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT. 407 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,733 IF THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS WERE GONNA MAKE A PLAY 408 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:34,367 FOR THE SENIOR BOYS, 409 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,667 THEY WERE GONNA BE INTERCEPTED OR TACKLED 410 00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:40,400 OR SOME FOOTBALL THING, IF THEY EVER SHOWED UP. 411 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,767 [all screaming] 412 00:15:43,867 --> 00:15:47,500 - ARE WE SHOOTING A BEER COMMERCIAL? 413 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,400 - WE HAVE NO CHEERLEADERS! 414 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,333 THE OTHER GUYS FOUND OUT MATTY AND JAKE WEREN'T CHEERING, 415 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:52,733 SO THEY BAILED. 416 00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:54,400 - SHEEP. BUT I'M HERE. 417 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,267 I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, JENNA. 418 00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,567 [grunts] - LET ME TALK TO THEM. 419 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:03,967 [cheers and applause] 420 00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:12,400 HEY, NO BIGGIE, BUT DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS COULD CHEER FOR US? 421 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,467 BECAUSE YOU'RE DRAGGING EVERYONE DOWN 422 00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:15,800 INTO YOUR REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE HOLE, 423 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,100 AND GOOD PEOPLE ARE COLLATERAL DAMAGE. 424 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,667 BUT I'M CHILL. 425 00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:21,100 - REALLY? 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT CRAZY EYES. 426 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,300 - CRAZY? I WILL SHOW YOU CRAZY. 427 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,067 NOW, GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES AND CHEER. 428 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,833 IT IS THE LEAST YOU COULD DO! 429 00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:28,833 - ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT THE LEAST WE COULD DO. 430 00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:30,400 COME ON. [cheers and applause] 431 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,067 - LET'S CHEER FOR THE SOPHOMORES. 432 00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:36,600 [cheers and applause] 433 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,233 - I HAD NEVER WANTED TO WIN SOMETHING SO BADLY. 434 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:43,667 THE S.S. WERE RUNNING 435 00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:45,333 SOME SERIOUS INTERFERENCE WITH OUR LIVES. 436 00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:46,733 THEY NEEDED TO GET SACKED. 437 00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:49,167 both: GO, SENIORS! 438 00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:53,300 - LET'S DO THIS! WHOO! - [mouths words] 439 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,500 [whistle blows] 440 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,533 [all screaming] 441 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,733 [cheers and applause] 442 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:10,067 - GO, SENIORS! 443 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:13,367 all: OOH! 444 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,867 - COME ON. ALL RIGHT, LET'S HUDDLE. 445 00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,867 [cheers and applause] 446 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,133 - HUT, HIKE. 447 00:17:28,233 --> 00:17:31,800 [whistle blows, cheers and applause] 448 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,733 [dance music] 449 00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:38,433 [all grunting] 450 00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:40,533 - BOY, THAT'S ONLY HALFTIME. 451 00:17:40,633 --> 00:17:42,233 [overlapping chatter] 452 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,967 - HEY, COACH. 453 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:45,667 I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE AN INSPIRING SPEECH. 454 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,333 - I WASN'T FEELING INSPIRING. 455 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,300 I WAS FEELING SCREWED, NOT IN A GOOD WAY. 456 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,400 [whistle blows] 457 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,567 OKAY... 458 00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:57,067 SO WE ARE SUCKING OUT THERE, A LOT. 459 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,667 OUR OWN SENIOR BOYS ARE CHEERING AGAINST US, 460 00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,733 AND NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY TO BE THE MATURE ONES, 461 00:18:00,833 --> 00:18:02,300 THEY DON'T APPRECIATE IT. 462 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,267 THEY CHOOSE BIKINIS OVER ROBOTS, SIMPLE OVER COMPLICATED. 463 00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:07,067 AND WHEN THERE IS A HISTORY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE 464 00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:08,733 AND THINGS GET ROUGH, 465 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,700 IT IS EASIEST TO FALL INTO THE ARMS OF THE CLOSEST, 466 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,467 SLUTTIEST OPTION. 467 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:15,400 AS LONG AS THOSE SLUTS EXIST, WE'RE NEVER GONNA WIN. 468 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:19,100 - THAT WAS LITERALLY THE WORST PEP TALK I HAVE EVER HEARD. 469 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:23,700 I SAY WE GO OUT THERE AND KICK THOSE SLUTS' ASSES. 470 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,900 ARE YOU WITH ME, BITCHES? [all cheer] 471 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,867 [whistle blows] 472 00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:35,467 - LOOKS LIKE YOUR GUY FRIENDS CAME OVER TO OUR SIDE. 473 00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:38,800 IT MUST SUCK TO BE OLD AND UNDESIRABLE. 474 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,467 - I LIKE YOUR HAIR. IT ALMOST LOOKS REAL. 475 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:42,900 - THANK YOU. 476 00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:45,233 IS YOURS? 477 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,900 WHOOPS. all: OH. 478 00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,900 - THAT'S WHEN MY DAD'S WORDS CAME TO ME 479 00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:51,300 LIKE A BLITZ TO MY BRAIN. 480 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,867 BEATING THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS IN FOOTBALL 481 00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:53,933 WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. 482 00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,467 THESE GIRLS, 483 00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,200 NO MATTER HOW MUCH I HATED THEIR BARE MIDRIFFS 484 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,767 AND HOT PANTS WEREN'T THE PROBLEM. 485 00:18:59,867 --> 00:19:01,333 THE PROBLEM WAS MATTY. 486 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,367 - IF YOU DON'T DO IT, I WILL. 487 00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,167 [rock music] 488 00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:08,867 - [screams] 489 00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:11,367 [all screaming] 490 00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:26,767 - SADIE, SAVE YOURSELF! 491 00:19:26,867 --> 00:19:28,867 [whistle blows] 492 00:19:32,233 --> 00:19:33,467 - MY FIRST FIGHT, AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A BADASS. 493 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,267 I JUST HAD A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH. 494 00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:37,233 SENIORS HAD LOST SPIRIT WEEK TO THE SOPHOMORES 495 00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:40,467 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN, WELL, EVER. 496 00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:43,467 THEN AGAIN, MAYBE THE BAD TASTE WAS FROM ALL THE DIRT I ATE 497 00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:45,300 WHEN JACKIE SMOOSHED MY FACE INTO THE GROUND. 498 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,933 HEY, THANK YOU FOR HAVING MY BACK EARLIER. 499 00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:51,133 - NO WORRIES, AND I DIDN'T KNOW YOU AND MATTY HAD DATED. 500 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,600 IF I HAD KNOWN THAT, 501 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:54,533 I WOULD HAVE INVITED YOU INSIDE THE OTHER DAY. 502 00:19:54,633 --> 00:19:56,600 - IT'S OKAY. I'M SORRY FOR BEING A JERK TO YOU 503 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,467 JUST BECAUSE MATTY'S BEING A JERK TO ME. 504 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,633 - WELL, I JUST HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS. 505 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,967 CHICKS BEFORE DICKS... ALWAYS. 506 00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:05,033 [chuckles] 507 00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:07,867 - WHOO! 508 00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:10,300 - HEY, HEY, HEY! - [laughs] 509 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,100 IT'S TIME TO GHOST RIDE THE WHIP! 510 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,867 - YES, HOTNESS! 511 00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:15,367 - OH, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOUR CAR, 512 00:20:15,467 --> 00:20:16,467 YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL YOU. 513 00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:18,700 - OH, LIGHTEN UP, ROSATI. 514 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,567 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GONNA FILM IT. 515 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:24,967 [all cheering] 516 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:27,033 OKAY, OKAY, GO. 517 00:20:27,133 --> 00:20:29,033 - WHOO! 518 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,033 [dance music] 519 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,700 * 520 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,900 - HOLY-- 521 00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:39,567 [crashes] 522 00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,900 both: HOLY [bleep]! 523 00:20:44,533 --> 00:20:46,100 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 524 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,433 - HEY, YOU SHOULD STOP BY THIS FUND-RAISER TONIGHT. 525 00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:48,533 - I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT. - DO THAT. 526 00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:50,933 - YOUR SORORITY IS AMAZE-TITS. 527 00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:52,633 VODKA PLUS GIRL TALK PLUS COMMUNAL CLOSET 528 00:20:52,733 --> 00:20:55,100 EQUALS HAPPY TAMARA. 529 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,333 - YES, HOT TUB. 38126

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