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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,244 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,512 - SO YOU DIDN'T D.T.R.? - WE'RE SENIORS. 3 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,347 WE DON'T NEED TO D.T. ANYTHING. 4 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,515 WE HAD FUN, AND I'M NOT GONNA OVERTHINK IT. 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,783 - I WANT TO BREAK UP. 6 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,785 - DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE SINGLE IN SENIOR YEAR? 7 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,053 - I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, 8 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,354 BUT I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME, 9 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,690 AND I'M JUST WONDERING WHY. - I'M ADOPTED. 10 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,661 - AFTER MATTY DROPPED THE BOMB THAT HIS FAMILY WASN'T NUCLEAR, 11 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,097 I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO ADOPT 12 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,099 A NEW ATTITUDE TOWARDS OUR RELATIONSHIP. 13 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,533 I HAD SPENT ALL THAT TIME 14 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,001 WORRYING MATTY WAS SHUTTING ME OUT. 15 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,869 BUT HE ACTUALLY ENDED UP LETTING ME IN... 16 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,638 ON THE FACT THAT HE WAS ADOPTED, 17 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,873 AND HIS PARENTS HAD NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL HIM. 18 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,509 REALITY CHECK FOR JENNA-- 19 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:44,845 TIME TO STOP MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. 20 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,514 VAL! 21 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,616 I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR THE PEER-MENTORING PROGRAM. 22 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,351 - ME TOO. 23 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,052 WITH YOU GIRLS SHOULDERING SOME OF MY COUNSELING BURDEN, 24 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,987 I'LL HAVE TWO AFTERNOONS A WEEK FREE 25 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,224 FOR SOME MUCH-NEEDED ALONE TIME. 26 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,959 OH, LOOK, THERE'S YOUR MENTEE NOW--PRUDENCE. 27 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,195 - SHE REMINDED ME OF ME-- 28 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,532 A LOST LAMB HEADED FOR THE SLAUGHTER THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL. 29 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,434 I DECIDED I WOULD BE THERE FOR HER, 30 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,137 THE WAY I WISHED SOMEONE HAD BEEN THERE FOR ME-- 31 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,139 WELL, SOMEONE SANE. 32 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,607 I WOULD LISTEN TO HER. I WOULD SUPPORT HER. 33 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,144 AND I WOULD KEEP HER OUT OF HARM'S WAY. 34 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,647 OH, MY GOD. I'M JENNA. 35 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,982 ARE YOU OKAY, PRUDENCE? 36 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:25,219 THE LAST PERSON THAT CALLED ME THAT GOT THROAT-PUNCHED. 37 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,156 [hard rock music] 38 00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:30,724 - OH, ARE YOU-- - CALL ME ANGEL. 39 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,059 - [clears throat] 40 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,166 - HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING GOING AROUND 41 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,500 ABOUT JAKE DUMPING ME? 42 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,968 IT IS ALL ABOUT WHO CONTROLS THE STORY. 43 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,470 JAKE BETTER NOT MAKE UP ANYTHING 44 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,272 ABOUT OUR BREAKUP THAT ISN'T TRUE. 45 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,607 I DID NOT GET DUMPED. I KNEW THE ENDING WAS PENDING. 46 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,642 - DO YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE WE SPEND A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME 47 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,411 WONDERING ABOUT WHAT JAKE AND MATTY ARE THINKING? 48 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,180 - UH, NO. - OKAY. 49 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,248 99% OF THE TIME IT'S PROBABLY NOT ABOUT US AT ALL. 50 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,549 - WHO ARE YOU, 51 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,951 AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH "I AM JENNA HAMILTON"? 52 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,853 HELLO, JACOB. 53 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:03,524 - HELLO, LADIES. TAKE IT EASY. 54 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,925 - "TAKE IT EASY"? 55 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,360 WHAT IS THE SUBTEXT IN THAT CONTEXT-- 56 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,595 THAT I'M TAKING IT HARD? 57 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,330 - MAYBE HE MEANT TAKE IT EASY. 58 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,399 HE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND. - WE JUST BROKE UP, JENNA. 59 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,501 YOU CAN'T JUST TRANSITION FROM B.F. TO B.F.F. 60 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,902 WITHOUT SOME "D" IN BETWEEN. 61 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,003 - "D"? - DRAMA. 62 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,005 - OKAY. MAYBE YOU CAN. 63 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,607 WE'RE SENIORS. WE'RE ADULTS NOW. 64 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,242 ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP 65 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,876 DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN ENDING THE FRIENDSHIP. 66 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,278 I MEAN, LOOK AT MATTY AND I. 67 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,813 IN A LOT OF WAYS, WE'RE CLOSER THAN EVER. 68 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,681 - BECAUSE YOU HAD EX SEX? THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE CLOSE. 69 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,217 THAT JUST MEANS YOUR NAUGHTIES ARE. 70 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,784 - NO, BECAUSE WE SHARE THINGS WITH EACH OTHER 71 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,220 THAT WE WOULDN'T SHARE WITH JUST ANYONE, 72 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,288 SORT OF LIKE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. 73 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,224 - OKAY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 74 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,392 ARE YOU GUYS DATING OR MERELY MATING? 75 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,127 - I DON'T KNOW. - [sighs] 76 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,795 WELL, YOU BETTER FIGURE IT OUT NOW, 77 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,064 BECAUSE I AM OFFICIALLY NOT SPENDING MY SENIOR YEAR 78 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:47,235 STARING AT YOUR "AM I IN OR AM I OUT" POUT. 79 00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:48,769 - SHE HAD A POINT. 80 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,971 IN THE PAST, MATTY HAD BEEN A GIANT, FLAKY SLICE 81 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,940 IN MY PIE CHART OF PREOCCUPATIONS. 82 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,608 BUT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT NOW. 83 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,477 HEY. HOW ARE YOU? 84 00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,911 - I'M FINE. 85 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,813 - HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO YOUR PARENTS YET? 86 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,115 - NO, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT AT SCHOOL, 87 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,151 OR AT ALL, REALLY. - I GET IT. 88 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,454 LISTEN, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS STUPID, 89 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,055 BUT I WAS WORRYING FOR, LIKE, A WHOLE DAY 90 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,658 THAT YOU REGRETTED HOOKING UP WITH ME. 91 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,693 - JENNA, I NEED TO BE ABLE TO NOT TALK TO YOU FOR ONE DAY 92 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,062 AND NOT HAVE YOU ASSUME I'M NOT INTO YOU. 93 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,298 - I-I KNOW. I SAID IT WAS STUPID. 94 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,733 - I'M INTO YOU. 95 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,869 - I'M INTO YOU TOO. 96 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,637 AND I JUST THOUGHT THAT IF WE'D SAID IT 97 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,507 THAT NEITHER ONE OF US WOULD HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT WE ARE. 98 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,742 - OKAY. 99 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,177 WHAT ARE WE? 100 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:33,514 - WE ARE TWO CONSENTING ADULTS 101 00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,183 WHO CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER DEEPLY 102 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:41,555 AND ENJOY EXPRESSING THAT CARE PHYSICALLY... 103 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,391 FROM TIME TO TIME. 104 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,992 FRIENDS... 105 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,560 - WITH BENEFITS. 106 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,497 - I WASN'T AWARE THAT WAS WHAT I WAS PROPOSING. 107 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,299 BUT IF THAT'S WHAT IT MEANT TO BE CLOSE, 108 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,301 BUT TO NOT HAVE TO EXAMINE WHAT IT MEANT ALL THE TIME, 109 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,168 THEN, HEY, I WAS IN. 110 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,737 YEAH. I GUESS WE ARE. 111 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,339 - I'M DOWN. 112 00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,842 I'LL SEE YOU LATER... FRIEND. 113 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,444 [chuckles] - OH. 114 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,579 HEY, I'M AROUND TO TALK LATER AFTER SCHOOL. 115 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,616 - YEAH, MAYBE I'LL, UH, HIT YOU UP LATER. 116 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,584 BUT IT WON'T BE TO TALK. 117 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,653 - OKAY, SO MAYBE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY 118 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,589 WASN'T SOMETHING YOU COULD ACHIEVE BETWEEN BIO AND GYM, 119 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,658 BUT AT LEAST HE KNEW I WAS THERE FOR HIM. 120 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:21,829 - WELCOME TO THE FIRST MEETING OF WE'RE HERE, WE'RE PEERS. 121 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,631 NOW LET'S GET MENTORING. 122 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,634 BEING THE CHICKEN SOUP FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL 123 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,336 IS A DELICATE BREW, 124 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:31,004 BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN FROM THE MASTER CHEF. 125 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,140 I'VE MATCHED UP EACH SENIOR GIRL 126 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,676 WITH A FRESHMAN IN NEED OF GUIDANCE. 127 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,846 THERE WILL BE A PROGRESS REVIEW AT THE END OF THE WEEK, 128 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,648 WHERE EACH FRESHMAN WILL SHARE WHAT SHE LEARNED, 129 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:44,352 AND EACH SENIOR WILL GET A COMMUNITY-SERVICE CREDIT. 130 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,053 - I LOVE YOUR MAXI DRESS! 131 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,357 - IT'S CALLED HIJAB. WE WEAR IT FOR MODESTY. 132 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,459 - AW. WELL, YOU SEEM NICE. 133 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,461 IT'S TOO BAD YOU WON'T GET INTO HEAVEN. 134 00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,496 - IT'S TOO BAD YOU WON'T GET INTO JANNAH DRESSED LIKE THAT. 135 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,731 - IS THAT THE NEW THREE-LEVEL, OVER-18 CLUB IN WESTWOOD? 136 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:01,835 - IT'S MUSLIM HEAVEN. IT HAS SEVEN LEVELS. 137 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:02,970 - I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU NEED COUNSELING, CAITLIN. 138 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,905 YOU SEEM SUPES TOGETHER. 139 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,640 - THANKS. I'M GRATEFUL, NOT HATEFUL. 140 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,442 BEING A JOINER IS JUST IN MY DNA. 141 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,810 - SAME. DON'T HATE... 142 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,479 both: PARTICIPATE. 143 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,281 - TRIPPY. 144 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,550 - I NEED LESS VIRGIN AT THE BUS STOP 145 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,151 AND MORE WHORE ON THE FLOOR. 146 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,787 - BUT I'VE NEVER HAD SEX. 147 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,622 - AND I'VE NEVER BITCH-SLAPPED AN OLSEN TWIN, 148 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:25,158 BUT THAT DOES NOT STOP ME FROM DRESSING LIKE I HAVE. 149 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,560 WEAR IT TILL YOU TEAR IT. 150 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,761 - SADIE. 151 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,097 S-A-D... 152 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,933 I-E. 153 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,002 DO YOU NOT SPEAK ENGLISH? MINE'S BROKEN! 154 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,637 I GOT A BROKEN ONE. 155 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,906 - SHE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM ESPANA. 156 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,409 SORRY, THAT'S WHAT WAS LEFT. 157 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:46,146 EARLIER, SHIRI AND ANGEL HAD AN ALTERCATION IN THE HALLWAY. 158 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,749 THIS IS WHAT I CALL A TEACHABLE MOMENT. 159 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:54,488 - "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY WHEN I DON'T FEEL I AM BEING HEARD." 160 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,757 - [Spanish accent] "IT MAKE ME A-FEEL..." 161 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,692 - [whispering] FASTER. - QUE ES "ANGRY"? 162 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,561 - OKAY, I... - ENOJADO? 163 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,062 - I GOT A PARENT-TEACHER MEETING OFF CAMPUS IN ABOUT AN HOUR. 164 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,564 SO WHY DON'T WE HAVE YOUR MENTORS 165 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,333 SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, HUH? 166 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,204 - "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY"... 167 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,340 WHEN MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRLS, 168 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,075 WHO HAVE SPENT THE LAST THREE YEARS 169 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,210 GIVING HANDIES IN THE SANCTUARY, 170 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,947 ALL OF A SUDDEN FIND AMBITION IN TIME FOR COLLEGE APPS 171 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:25,519 AND MONOPOLIZE MY FREE PERIOD WITH TOUCHY-FEELY BULL CACA. 172 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:29,189 - I WANTED TO RESPOND IN KIND TO SADIE'S UNKIND RANT, 173 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,692 BUT I WANTED TO SUCCEED AS A MENTOR EVEN MORE, 174 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,094 AND THAT MEANT EMBRACING THE EXERCISE... 175 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,463 AND THE ENEMY. 176 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:38,766 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. 177 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,200 - EW! BAD TOUCH! 178 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,368 BAD TOUCH! 179 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,136 SERIOUSLY, I AM GOING TO PUKE. 180 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,741 - OH, HEY, YOU CAN HAVE THE TABLE. 181 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,910 I GOT A WORKING LUNCH-- WORKING ON MY MUSIC. 182 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,546 - OKAY, FLAG ON THE PLAYER-- 183 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,947 HE'S TRYING TO SPIN THIS. 184 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,315 GIVING ME THE LUNCH TABLE, 185 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,150 HE IS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE THE GOOD GUY. 186 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,620 - CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT MAYBE HE IS THE GOOD GUY? 187 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,789 I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS HOW MATURE BREAKUPS GO. 188 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,824 - WELL, IF HE'S EXPECTING EX SEX FROM ME, 189 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,225 WE ARE NOT THERE... 190 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,494 YET. 191 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:09,329 - CAN I CRASH WITH YOU BITCHES? 192 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,665 - HEY, MATTY, ARE YOU NOT EATING? 193 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,701 - NOPE, NOT HUNGRY. 194 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,002 - OH, WELL, IF YOU GET HUNGRY LATER, 195 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,970 I'LL NEVER FINISH THIS UNI. 196 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,507 - JAKE WON'T MIND IF YOU SPEND SOME Q.T. WITH SOME CUTIES. 197 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,975 THIS LUNCH TABLE IS NEUTRAL GROUND. SIT. 198 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,511 - YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO SIT, 199 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,145 AND I DON'T WANT UNI, WHATEVER THAT IS. 200 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,980 WHAT I WANT TO DO IS GO TO THE GYM AND LIFT WEIGHTS, 201 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:30,818 WHICH IS WHERE I WAS HEADED BEFORE YOU GUYS STOPPED ME. 202 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,986 - JESUS, SOMEONE'S ON THE ROID RAG. 203 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,589 - CUT HIM SOME SLACK. HE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME. 204 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,024 - YOU JUST HAD SEX WITH HIM. 205 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,726 WOULD IT KILL HIM TO HANG FOR ONE PANINI? 206 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,561 - HE DOESN'T HAVE TO TREAT ME LIKE A GIRLFRIEND. 207 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,597 WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. WE'RE FRIENDS, NOT A COUPLE. 208 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,099 - * I GUESS I'M OUT OF LUCK BECAUSE * 209 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,336 * TOMORROW NEVER COMES 210 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,905 * TOMORROW NEVER COMES * 211 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:56,209 - O.M. JESUS CREE! HE IS TAYLOR SWIFTING ME! 212 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,546 - * WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING * 213 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,684 - * TOMORROW NEVER COMES 214 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:07,888 * AND I KEEP WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING ON * 215 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,558 * TOMORROW NEVER COMES 216 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,125 - FAKE JAKE! 217 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,761 YOU'RE PULLING A TIMBERLAKE POST BRITNEY, 218 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,729 A TAYLOR SWIFT POST, LIKE, EVERYBODY. 219 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:19,567 THIS WANNABE REMIX TO JAKARA IS TOTALLY MISLEADING! 220 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:23,704 TOMORROW DOES COME WHEN TOMORROW IS PROPERLY STIMULATED. 221 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,105 - THIS SONG'S NOT ABOUT YOU. 222 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,908 IT'S "TOMORROW." "TOMORROW NEVER COMES." 223 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,710 IT'S ABOUT THE HOPELESSNESS OF LOVE. 224 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,645 YOU DID BREAK MY HEART. 225 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,581 all: AW. - OH. [scoffs] 226 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:34,882 - BUT THE SONG'S STILL NOT ABOUT YOU. 227 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:39,119 - OH, CRY ME A RIVER, ROSATI! 228 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,455 - NOW, THIS IS THE BEAUTY OF SUBCONTRACTING MY JOB. 229 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,157 SHOULD'VE DONE IT AGES AGO. 230 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:49,062 - MMM. MMM. 231 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,665 [wax strip tears] AAH! AAH! 232 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,301 - OKAY, MAYBE IT WAS AN ODD COMBO, 233 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,236 BUT THE GROUPON WAS SO CHEAP. 234 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,971 - IT'S KIND OF HARD TO ENJOY A SLOW-ROASTED MEAT 235 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,608 WHEN YOU'RE HAVING MY PUBIC HAIR RIPPED OUT AT THE ROOT. 236 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:03,510 IT'S ALSO HIGHLY UNSANITARY. 237 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,512 VAL, IT GOT A "B"! [scoffs] 238 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,948 - OH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS FOR "BRAZILIAN." 239 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,318 - * SHE WORKS AT THE LOCAL TAQUERIA * 240 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,220 * SHE ALWAYS SMILES AT ME [computer chimes] 241 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,888 * WHEN I GO THERE 242 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,757 - WHAT UP, MENTOR? 243 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,992 I NEED A LITTLE PEER COUNSELING. YOU GOT A MINUTE? 244 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,393 - SURE. 245 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,729 - IS IT OKAY TO HOOK UP 246 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,931 WITH THREE GUYS IN ONE NIGHT? 247 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,366 - YOU MEAN AT THE SAME TIME? - OF COURSE NOT. 248 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,169 I'M NOT A SLUT. [knock at door] 249 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,538 - ANGEL, WILL YOU HOLD ON A SEC? 250 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,008 - IS THAT MATTY MCKIBBEN? 251 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,277 SILF! SENIOR I'D LIKE TO-- 252 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,379 - WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. [laughs] 253 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,513 MM. 254 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,283 - FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS! BOO-YAH! 255 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,118 - UM, I HAVE TO GO. 256 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,687 BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO. 257 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,421 - WHAT IS THAT, BACK DOOR? 258 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,691 - HEY. COME HERE. 259 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,793 - THIS WAS A MUCH DIFFERENT MATTY FROM EARLIER. 260 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,928 CLEARLY WORKING OUT HAD PUT HIM IN A BETTER MOOD. 261 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,964 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING OVER TONIGHT. 262 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,431 - I WANTED TO SEE YOU. 263 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,101 - OR MAYBE IT HAD JUST PUT HIM IN THE MOOD. 264 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,436 - UH, I HAVE CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG ON DVD. 265 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,706 I KNOW IT'S DORKY, BUT, UH, IT ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP. 266 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,307 YOU WANT TO WATCH IT? - YEAH. 267 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,877 CAN WE... WATCH IT LAYING DOWN? 268 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,278 - MATTY SEEMED SOLELY FOCUSED 269 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,813 ON THE BENEFITS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, 270 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,082 BUT I CAN'T REALLY SAY I MINDED. 271 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,383 - HEY. 272 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,718 - OH! - OH! 273 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,720 HI, MATTY! - HI. 274 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,389 - UH, JENNA, DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THOSE PAINKILLERS LEFT 275 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,391 FROM WHEN YOU HAD YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT? 276 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,226 THAT'S THE LAST TIME I GOT TO A DISCOUNT SPA. 277 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,728 THANK YOU. 278 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,629 THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I HAD CRABS. 279 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,732 - MOM! - FROM NANA'S AFGHAN! 280 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,600 SHE GOT IT FROM A THRIFT STORE IN THE VALLEY. 281 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,135 [chuckles] AH! 282 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,770 EEH. [door closes] 283 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,906 - DO YOU STILL WANT TO... - I THINK I'M GOOD. 284 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,608 - WE CAN JUST HANG. 285 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:45,979 - UH, YEAH, I'M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD TO JUST HANG. 286 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,081 BUT I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 287 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,350 - THERE WOULD BE NO BANG-BANG THAT NIGHT, 288 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,185 AND THAT SEEMED TO MAKE MATTY'S GOOD MOOD 289 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,055 ONCE AGAIN TURN CHITTY. [door closes] 290 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,427 - HEY, MAN, WHAT DID THAT WATER BOTTLE EVER DO TO YOU? 291 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,996 - OH. NOTHING. 292 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,564 MY, UH--MY PARENTS SUCK. 293 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,334 - WHY? 294 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,903 - JUST--SINCE THEY SPLIT UP, THEY ARE EVEN WORSE THAN USUAL. 295 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,039 SO... - YEAH, SPLITTING UP SUCKS. 296 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,440 I MEAN, UNLESS IT'S FROM TAMARA, 297 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,876 AND THEN IT'S THE BEST THING EVER. 298 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,745 - HEY, MAN, NO OFFENSE, BUT DO YOU MIND 299 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,279 IF WE, UH, DON'T TALK ANYMORE? 300 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,448 - YEAH, DUDE. NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK. 301 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,017 WE'RE GUYS... 302 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,086 SENIOR GUYS. 303 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,587 I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME 304 00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:31,291 WE SHOULD START CASHING IN THE THOSE CHIPS. 305 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,861 [strums acoustic ballad] 306 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,028 - ARE YOU SEEING THIS? 307 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,229 HE HAS GROUPIES-- 308 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,431 EVEN MY PEER MENTEE, CAITLIN. 309 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,067 ONE OF HIS "WHORECEROR'S" APPRENTICES 310 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,569 MADE HIM A FAN PAGE LAST NIGHT. 311 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:46,206 - UM, IT SAYS YOU'RE NO LONGER CONNECTED TO THIS USER. 312 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,875 - HE BLOCKED ME? 313 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,343 OH, GAME ON. 314 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,415 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HIDEOUS THING ON YOUR HEAD? 315 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,485 - LEARNING ABOUT MUSLIM CULTURE. IT'S REALLY NEAT. 316 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:01,021 LIKE, DO YOU KNOW MUSLIMS HAVE SEVEN LEVELS OF HEAVEN? 317 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,689 WE ONLY HAVE ONE! 318 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:06,526 AND EACH LEVEL IS LIKE A SANDALS RESORT, BUT BETTER. 319 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,963 - SHIRI, FIND THE NEAREST MENTAL WARD. 320 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,965 - WHY CAN'T SHE WEAR HER SCARF? 321 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,701 - HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING? 322 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,669 TAKE THIS DOWN. 323 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,006 "YOU'RE NOT BEING A GOOD FRIEND WHEN YOU DON'T TELL SOMEONE 324 00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,373 THEY LOOK RIDICULOUS"... 325 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,309 WHICH YOU DO. 326 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:23,676 YOU'RE WELCOME. 327 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,245 [snaps fingers] 328 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,350 - [strumming ballad] 329 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,985 [stops strumming] 330 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,987 [strumming continues] 331 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,189 - OKAY! LISTEN UP! 332 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,225 PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT-- 333 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,727 THERE WILL BE NO MORE MUSIC IN THE CAFETERIA. 334 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:43,663 IT IS DISTRACTING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO STUDY. 335 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,199 - WHAT? NO! - SHE'S RIGHT. 336 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,001 THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE, 337 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,537 WHICH IS WHY I'M HAVING A PRIVATE CONCERT 338 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,272 AT MY PLACE TOMORROW NIGHT. 339 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,207 SO WHO'S IN? 340 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,475 - UH, SORRY, SWEETIE. 341 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,278 THERE'S A MANDATORY PEER-MENTOR MEETING 342 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,314 TOMORROW NIGHT AT JENNA'S. 343 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,851 - THERE IS? - WHAT, YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS? 344 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:05,118 - MATTY MIGHT SHOW UP UNEXPECTEDLY. 345 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,619 HE DID LAST NIGHT. 346 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,856 - JENNA, I DON'T WATCH TV IN THE SUMMER. 347 00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,523 KNOW WHY? - NO, WHY? 348 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,525 - BECAUSE I HATE RERUNS. 349 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,161 THIS IS JUST LIKE SOPHOMORE YEAR. 350 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,695 HE'S GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, AND YOU'RE NOT. 351 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,865 - AND WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I WANT? 352 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,868 - TO BE MORE THAN MATTY'S SEX-TRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY. 353 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,203 I DON'T CARE HOW EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE HE IS. 354 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,105 IF HE CAN'T BE CIVIL TO YOU AT LUNCH 355 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,107 OR MAKE PLANS WITH YOU RATHER THAN JUST SHOWING UP 356 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,942 WHENEVER HE FEELS LIKE IT, THEN... 357 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,711 YOU'RE HIS "F" BUDDY, NOT HIS FRIEND. 358 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,016 - HEY, JENNA, GOT ANOTHER MENTOR QUESTION FOR YOU. 359 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,550 WHEN GOING DOWN, 360 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,119 IS IT CUSTOMARY TO TAKE OUT YOUR TONGUE RING? 361 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,221 [upbeat music] 362 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,789 - OKAY. 363 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,491 SO HERE'S THE FIRST STOP ON THE JENNA HAMILTON 364 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,526 SCARED-STRAIGHT TOUR OF CAMPUS. 365 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,162 THIS IS WHERE I HAD MANY ILL-ADVISED SECRET HOOKUPS. 366 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,164 I DIDN'T RESPECT MYSELF, AND WORST OF ALL, 367 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,900 I DIDN'T DEMAND RESPECT FROM GUYS. 368 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,702 - HEY, HAMILTON. LOOKING GOOD. 'SUP? 369 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,470 - WOW. THIS IS THE BALLS-- 370 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,907 A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN COME DURING SCHOOL TO GET SOME? 371 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,208 [laughs] - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 372 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,775 ALL RIGHT. 373 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:07,447 OKAY, AND THIS IS WHERE I SPENT MANY LUNCHES ALONE 374 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,582 AFTER COMPLETELY ALIENATING ALL OF MY FRIENDS. 375 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,018 - [screams] 376 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,121 - OH, HEY, BIATCHES. 377 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,622 THANK GOD THERE'S AT LEAST ONE PLACE 378 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,224 WHERE WE CAN PIERCE IN PEACE. 379 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,658 JUST GO GET SOME ANTIBIOTIC CREAM. 380 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,427 YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT FOR LOTS OF STUFF. 381 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,962 - [laughs] 382 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,263 COOL. 383 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,098 - NO, NOT COOL. 384 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,766 OKAY, LAST STOP, THE PARKING LOT. 385 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,835 THIS IS WHERE LOSERS GO TO CUT CLASS. 386 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,637 I USED TO COME HERE AND SIT AND STARE 387 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,273 AND AVOID EVERYTHING I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH IN LIFE. 388 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,146 - [sighs] - MATTY? 389 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,613 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - HUH? 390 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,283 [sniffles] NOTHING. 391 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:46,819 - I'LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY? 392 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,489 - [sighs] 393 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,824 - ARE YOU HIGH? 394 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,260 - NOPE. 395 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,827 - COME ON, YOUR EYES ARE ALL RED. 396 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,265 YOU'VE EITHER BEEN SMOKING OR CRYING. 397 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,367 MATTY, ARE YOU OKAY? 398 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,502 IT HAD BECOME CLEAR THAT MATTY WAS USING SEX 399 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,572 TO AVOID WHAT HE REALLY SHOULD'VE BEEN DEALING WITH. 400 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,207 I WANTED TO RESPECT HIS FEELINGS, 401 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,109 BUT I NEEDED TO FEEL RESPECTED MYSELF. 402 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,011 - COME ON, LET'S GET IN THE BACK. 403 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,981 - IGNORING THAT WAS ONE MISTAKE I COULDN'T AFFORD TO REPEAT. 404 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,616 MATTY, I'M NOT SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY NEED. 405 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,186 - HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? [sniffles] 406 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,421 - BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. 407 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,723 - YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. 408 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,726 - WELL, I'M TRYING TO. I'M TRYING TO BE... 409 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,396 - TO BE WHAT? - A FRIEND. 410 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,031 BUT THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING IS MAKING ME FEEL 411 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,000 LESS LIKE A BUDDY AND MORE LIKE A [bleep]. 412 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,701 - I'M SORRY YOU SEE IT THAT WAY, JENNA. 413 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,436 I GUESS I'VE JUST BEEN A LITTLE BUSY 414 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,139 DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE. 415 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,707 - AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT-- - THAT IS JUST IT, JENNA. 416 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:43,276 I DON'T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY. 417 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,046 I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT THE HELL ALONE! 418 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:51,384 NO, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. 419 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:55,288 - SO YOU JUST WANT TO... 420 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,457 - FOR RIGHT NOW, YEAH. 421 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,394 SO IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN JUST TELL ME. 422 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,032 - I CAN'T HANDLE IT. 423 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:08,468 - * I WISH, I WISH I... 424 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,638 * COULD SHUT IT OFF 425 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,508 - YOU SEE, THAT'S WHY 426 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,743 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE GOALS. 427 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,078 - IT IS 8:15. 428 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,479 CAITLIN IS OFFICIALLY BITCH-DITCHING. 429 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,114 I KNOW THAT SLUT-SKANK WENT TO JAKE'S. 430 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,582 - YOU MEAN LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE? 431 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,151 WHY AM I HERE IF NO ONE ELSE HAS TO BE? 432 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,618 - SHE'S PROBABLY GIVING HIS PRIVATES A CONCERT 433 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,187 AS WE SPEAK, 434 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,056 BUT I WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME! 435 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,590 - YOU'RE NOT DATING HIM ANYMORE. 436 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,725 ANGEL, EARMUFFS. - [sighs] 437 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,496 - I AM NOT DATING HIM, 438 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,098 BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT ANYBODY ELSE DATING HIM! 439 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,799 IT'S A CLASSIC BIZNATCH-22. 440 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,634 I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM, 441 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,170 BUT I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM. 442 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:46,106 [distant laughter] 443 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,940 - I'M SIGNING IT "FIRE CROTCH." [laughter] 444 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,210 - YEAH! - WHOA, WHOA! MOM! 445 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,944 [all sigh] 446 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,513 - WE'RE WRITING A REVENGE REVIEW OF THE "SPASTAURANT" 447 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,714 THAT GAVE US COOCHIE POISONING. 448 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,383 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 449 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,651 - "I'VE SEEN CLEANER FLOORS IN A BANGKOK BATHHOUSE." 450 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,187 - THAT WAS MINE. - SWISH! 451 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,754 - OKAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO MAKE ENEMIES 452 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,690 WITH PEOPLE WHO SPEAR MEAT ONTO SHARP STICKS? 453 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,858 - IT'S FINE. WE MADE UP A FAKE NAME. 454 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,628 - THAT'S SMART! - MM-HMM. 455 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,431 - WELL, YOU BITCHES REALLY KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN. 456 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,300 IT'S BEEN A REAL EYE-OPENER. - REALLY? 457 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,935 - REALLY! I'M TOTALLY READY FOR THE PROGRESS MEETING TOMORROW. 458 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,639 - * LOOSEN UP 459 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,108 [computer chiming] 460 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:26,679 * LOOSEN UP 461 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:30,450 * 462 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,253 - "HAVE WE MET?" 463 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:37,724 - "NO, BUT I LISTENED TO SOME MUSIC ON YOUR FAN PAGE." 464 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,991 [computer chimes] 465 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,561 "YOU ARE CUTE." 466 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:46,399 * 467 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,902 - WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO WE'RE HERE, WE'RE PEERS. 468 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,772 LET'S FIND OUT IF WE'VE LEARNED ANYTHING, HMM? 469 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,341 SHIRI? 470 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,611 - I HAVE LEARNED THAT IT DOES NOT PAY TO BE SHY. 471 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,248 YOU GOT TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY NEED TO HEAR. 472 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,015 LIKE YOU... 473 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:06,819 YOU NEED A POP OF COLOR. YOU LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE. 474 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:11,158 POLKA DOTS ARE FOR CLOWNS IN THE CIRCUS. 475 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:15,027 AND FANNY PACKS ARE SOLELY MEANT FOR THE ELDERLY AND DISABLED. 476 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,164 [laughs] 477 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,332 DE NADA. 478 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,833 [light applause] 479 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,703 - GRACIAS, SHIRI. 480 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,071 [door closes] 481 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,906 - [whispering] HI, BABY. HEY, ANGEL. 482 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,741 [sighs] 483 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:32,779 SORRY I'M LATE, SWEETIE. I WOULDN'T MISS YOUR BIG MOMENT. 484 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,381 - I GOT TO BE HONEST. 485 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,048 I DIDN'T THINK I HAD ANYTHING TO LEARN 486 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,684 FROM THIS STUPID PROGRAM. 487 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,220 ALL MY LIFE I NEVER REALLY KNEW WHAT I WANTED TO BE, 488 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,654 AND I DIDN'T CARE. 489 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,857 BUT NOW I HAVE MET SOMEONE WHO'S SO FREAKIN' COOL 490 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,560 THAT I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HER. 491 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,098 AND THANKS TO MY MENTOR, JENNA, I HAVE SET A GOAL. 492 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,434 I WANT TO BE 16 AND PREGNANT! 493 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,035 [hard rock music] 494 00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,205 AND I HAVE JENNA AND HER BADASS MOM TO THANK 495 00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,639 FOR INSPIRING ME. 496 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,041 [sighs] 497 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,926 - I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE AS A MENTOR. 498 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,395 - YEAH, BUT YOUR MOM IS THE COOLEST. 499 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,565 SO YOU CAN'T REALLY BLAME ANGEL FOR WANTING TO BE LIKE HER. 500 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,734 AND DON'T BE SO HARD ON MY GIRL. 501 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,237 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE FIRST BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE? 502 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,239 YOU TOTALLY PUSHED ME AWAY. 503 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,741 BUT I STAYED ON YOU BECAUSE I CARED, 504 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:38,044 AND I KNEW THAT YOUR CRAPPY, CRAPPY ATTITUDE 505 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:40,613 HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. 506 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,449 DON'T GIVE UP... 507 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,150 EXCEPT ON THIS PROGRAM. 508 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,052 AFTER HE HEARS ABOUT ANGEL'S SPEECH, 509 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,255 PRINCIPAL COX WILL PROBABLY PULL THE PLUG. 510 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,924 BUT... [inhales sharply] DON'T GIVE UP, IN GENERAL. 511 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,926 - I WON'T. 512 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,762 - YEAH, PROBABLY SHOULDN'T GET TOO CLOSE 513 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,764 UNTIL I GET RID OF THIS RASH. 514 00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,333 - VAL WAS RIGHT-- I NEEDED TO STAY ON MATTY, 515 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,001 BECAUSE THE MORE HE PUSHED ME AWAY... 516 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,970 [doorbell rings] THE MORE HE REALLY NEEDED ME. 517 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,973 AND I WAS GOING TO BE THERE FOR HIM. 518 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,577 - OH, HEY, JENNA. 519 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,812 - UH, IS MATTY HERE? 520 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,747 - YEAH, BUT I'M NOT SURE HE'S UP FOR COMPANY. 521 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,650 YOU WERE RIGHT--HE'S REALLY NOT IN A GREAT PLACE RIGHT NOW. 522 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,087 I THINK HE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE TO TALK TO. 523 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:24,257 - UNFORTUNATELY, IT LOOKED LIKE EVA HAD GOTTEN THERE FIRST. 524 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:28,295 - I'LL TELL HIM YOU STOPPED BY. 525 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,263 [door closes] 526 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:34,066 - * WHEN THE SKY FELL DOWN 527 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:39,972 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... [whistle blows] 528 00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:40,973 - IF THE SENIORS DON'T WIN SPIRIT WEEK, 529 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,108 I'LL JUMP OVERBOARD. 530 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,310 - FOR THE FIRST TIME IN RECORDED HISTORY, 531 00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,844 THE SENIORS MIGHT LOSE SPIRIT WEEK. 532 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,178 - [bleep] JUST GOT REAL. 533 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:49,015 - SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE-- 534 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,750 EVA FOR CONVERSATION, 535 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,452 AND MACKENZIE WAS CLEARLY AVAILABLE 536 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,953 FOR WHATEVER ELSE HE NEEDED. 537 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:57,357 - IT MUST SUCK TO BE OLD AND UNDESIRABLE. 39549

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