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1
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,244
- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
2
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,512
- SO YOU DIDN'T D.T.R.?
- WE'RE SENIORS.
3
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,347
WE DON'T NEED
TO D.T. ANYTHING.
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,515
WE HAD FUN,
AND I'M NOT GONNA OVERTHINK IT.
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,783
- I WANT TO BREAK UP.
6
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,785
- DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE
SINGLE IN SENIOR YEAR?
7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,053
- I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,
8
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,354
BUT I KNOW
YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME,
9
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,690
AND I'M JUST WONDERING WHY.
- I'M ADOPTED.
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,661
- AFTER MATTY DROPPED THE BOMB
THAT HIS FAMILY WASN'T NUCLEAR,
11
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,097
I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO ADOPT
12
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,099
A NEW ATTITUDE
TOWARDS OUR RELATIONSHIP.
13
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,533
I HAD SPENT ALL THAT TIME
14
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,001
WORRYING MATTY
WAS SHUTTING ME OUT.
15
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,869
BUT HE ACTUALLY ENDED UP
LETTING ME IN...
16
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,638
ON THE FACT
THAT HE WAS ADOPTED,
17
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,873
AND HIS PARENTS
HAD NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL HIM.
18
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,509
REALITY CHECK FOR JENNA--
19
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:44,845
TIME TO STOP MAKING
EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.
20
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,514
VAL!
21
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,616
I'M REALLY EXCITED
FOR THE PEER-MENTORING PROGRAM.
22
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,351
- ME TOO.
23
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,052
WITH YOU GIRLS SHOULDERING
SOME OF MY COUNSELING BURDEN,
24
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,987
I'LL HAVE
TWO AFTERNOONS A WEEK FREE
25
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,224
FOR SOME MUCH-NEEDED
ALONE TIME.
26
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,959
OH, LOOK, THERE'S
YOUR MENTEE NOW--PRUDENCE.
27
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,195
- SHE REMINDED ME OF ME--
28
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,532
A LOST LAMB HEADED FOR THE
SLAUGHTER THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL.
29
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,434
I DECIDED
I WOULD BE THERE FOR HER,
30
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,137
THE WAY I WISHED
SOMEONE HAD BEEN THERE FOR ME--
31
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,139
WELL, SOMEONE SANE.
32
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,607
I WOULD LISTEN TO HER.
I WOULD SUPPORT HER.
33
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,144
AND I WOULD KEEP HER
OUT OF HARM'S WAY.
34
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,647
OH, MY GOD.
I'M JENNA.
35
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,982
ARE YOU OKAY, PRUDENCE?
36
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:25,219
THE LAST PERSON THAT CALLED ME
THAT GOT THROAT-PUNCHED.
37
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,156
[hard rock music]
38
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:30,724
- OH, ARE YOU--
- CALL ME ANGEL.
39
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,059
- [clears throat]
40
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,166
- HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING
GOING AROUND
41
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,500
ABOUT JAKE DUMPING ME?
42
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,968
IT IS ALL ABOUT
WHO CONTROLS THE STORY.
43
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,470
JAKE BETTER NOT
MAKE UP ANYTHING
44
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,272
ABOUT OUR BREAKUP
THAT ISN'T TRUE.
45
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,607
I DID NOT GET DUMPED.
I KNEW THE ENDING WAS PENDING.
46
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,642
- DO YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE
WE SPEND A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME
47
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,411
WONDERING ABOUT WHAT JAKE
AND MATTY ARE THINKING?
48
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,180
- UH, NO.
- OKAY.
49
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,248
99% OF THE TIME IT'S PROBABLY
NOT ABOUT US AT ALL.
50
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,549
- WHO ARE YOU,
51
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,951
AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH "I AM JENNA HAMILTON"?
52
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,853
HELLO, JACOB.
53
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:03,524
- HELLO, LADIES.
TAKE IT EASY.
54
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,925
- "TAKE IT EASY"?
55
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,360
WHAT IS THE SUBTEXT
IN THAT CONTEXT--
56
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,595
THAT I'M TAKING IT HARD?
57
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,330
- MAYBE HE MEANT
TAKE IT EASY.
58
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,399
HE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
- WE JUST BROKE UP, JENNA.
59
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,501
YOU CAN'T JUST TRANSITION
FROM B.F. TO B.F.F.
60
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,902
WITHOUT SOME "D"
IN BETWEEN.
61
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,003
- "D"?
- DRAMA.
62
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,005
- OKAY.
MAYBE YOU CAN.
63
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,607
WE'RE SENIORS.
WE'RE ADULTS NOW.
64
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,242
ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP
65
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,876
DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN
ENDING THE FRIENDSHIP.
66
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,278
I MEAN,
LOOK AT MATTY AND I.
67
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,813
IN A LOT OF WAYS,
WE'RE CLOSER THAN EVER.
68
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,681
- BECAUSE YOU HAD EX SEX?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE CLOSE.
69
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,217
THAT JUST MEANS
YOUR NAUGHTIES ARE.
70
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,784
- NO, BECAUSE WE SHARE THINGS
WITH EACH OTHER
71
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,220
THAT WE WOULDN'T SHARE
WITH JUST ANYONE,
72
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,288
SORT OF LIKE
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.
73
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,224
- OKAY,
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
74
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,392
ARE YOU GUYS DATING
OR MERELY MATING?
75
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,127
- I DON'T KNOW.
- [sighs]
76
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,795
WELL, YOU BETTER
FIGURE IT OUT NOW,
77
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,064
BECAUSE I AM OFFICIALLY
NOT SPENDING MY SENIOR YEAR
78
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:47,235
STARING AT
YOUR "AM I IN OR AM I OUT" POUT.
79
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:48,769
- SHE HAD A POINT.
80
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,971
IN THE PAST, MATTY HAD BEEN
A GIANT, FLAKY SLICE
81
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,940
IN MY PIE CHART
OF PREOCCUPATIONS.
82
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,608
BUT THINGS
WERE DIFFERENT NOW.
83
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,477
HEY.
HOW ARE YOU?
84
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,911
- I'M FINE.
85
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,813
- HAVE YOU SPOKEN
TO YOUR PARENTS YET?
86
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,115
- NO, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THAT AT SCHOOL,
87
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,151
OR AT ALL, REALLY.
- I GET IT.
88
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,454
LISTEN,
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS STUPID,
89
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,055
BUT I WAS WORRYING
FOR, LIKE, A WHOLE DAY
90
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,658
THAT YOU REGRETTED
HOOKING UP WITH ME.
91
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,693
- JENNA, I NEED TO BE ABLE
TO NOT TALK TO YOU FOR ONE DAY
92
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,062
AND NOT HAVE YOU ASSUME
I'M NOT INTO YOU.
93
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,298
- I-I KNOW.
I SAID IT WAS STUPID.
94
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,733
- I'M INTO YOU.
95
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,869
- I'M INTO YOU TOO.
96
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,637
AND I JUST THOUGHT
THAT IF WE'D SAID IT
97
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,507
THAT NEITHER ONE OF US WOULD
HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT WE ARE.
98
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,742
- OKAY.
99
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,177
WHAT ARE WE?
100
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:33,514
- WE ARE TWO CONSENTING ADULTS
101
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,183
WHO CARE
ABOUT EACH OTHER DEEPLY
102
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:41,555
AND ENJOY EXPRESSING
THAT CARE PHYSICALLY...
103
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,391
FROM TIME TO TIME.
104
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,992
FRIENDS...
105
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,560
- WITH BENEFITS.
106
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,497
- I WASN'T AWARE
THAT WAS WHAT I WAS PROPOSING.
107
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,299
BUT IF THAT'S WHAT IT MEANT
TO BE CLOSE,
108
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,301
BUT TO NOT HAVE TO EXAMINE
WHAT IT MEANT ALL THE TIME,
109
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,168
THEN, HEY, I WAS IN.
110
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,737
YEAH.
I GUESS WE ARE.
111
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,339
- I'M DOWN.
112
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,842
I'LL SEE YOU LATER...
FRIEND.
113
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,444
[chuckles]
- OH.
114
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,579
HEY, I'M AROUND TO TALK LATER
AFTER SCHOOL.
115
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,616
- YEAH, MAYBE I'LL, UH,
HIT YOU UP LATER.
116
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,584
BUT IT WON'T BE TO TALK.
117
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,653
- OKAY, SO MAYBE
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
118
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,589
WASN'T SOMETHING YOU COULD
ACHIEVE BETWEEN BIO AND GYM,
119
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,658
BUT AT LEAST HE KNEW
I WAS THERE FOR HIM.
120
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:21,829
- WELCOME TO THE FIRST MEETING
OF WE'RE HERE, WE'RE PEERS.
121
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,631
NOW LET'S GET MENTORING.
122
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,634
BEING THE CHICKEN SOUP
FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL
123
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,336
IS A DELICATE BREW,
124
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:31,004
BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN
FROM THE MASTER CHEF.
125
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,140
I'VE MATCHED UP
EACH SENIOR GIRL
126
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,676
WITH A FRESHMAN
IN NEED OF GUIDANCE.
127
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,846
THERE WILL BE A PROGRESS REVIEW
AT THE END OF THE WEEK,
128
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,648
WHERE EACH FRESHMAN
WILL SHARE WHAT SHE LEARNED,
129
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:44,352
AND EACH SENIOR WILL GET
A COMMUNITY-SERVICE CREDIT.
130
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,053
- I LOVE YOUR MAXI DRESS!
131
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,357
- IT'S CALLED HIJAB.
WE WEAR IT FOR MODESTY.
132
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,459
- AW.
WELL, YOU SEEM NICE.
133
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,461
IT'S TOO BAD
YOU WON'T GET INTO HEAVEN.
134
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,496
- IT'S TOO BAD YOU WON'T GET
INTO JANNAH DRESSED LIKE THAT.
135
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,731
- IS THAT THE NEW THREE-LEVEL,
OVER-18 CLUB IN WESTWOOD?
136
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:01,835
- IT'S MUSLIM HEAVEN.
IT HAS SEVEN LEVELS.
137
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:02,970
- I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU NEED COUNSELING, CAITLIN.
138
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,905
YOU SEEM SUPES TOGETHER.
139
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,640
- THANKS.
I'M GRATEFUL, NOT HATEFUL.
140
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,442
BEING A JOINER
IS JUST IN MY DNA.
141
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,810
- SAME.
DON'T HATE...
142
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,479
both:
PARTICIPATE.
143
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,281
- TRIPPY.
144
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,550
- I NEED LESS VIRGIN
AT THE BUS STOP
145
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,151
AND MORE WHORE ON THE FLOOR.
146
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,787
- BUT I'VE NEVER HAD SEX.
147
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,622
- AND I'VE NEVER BITCH-SLAPPED
AN OLSEN TWIN,
148
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:25,158
BUT THAT DOES NOT STOP ME
FROM DRESSING LIKE I HAVE.
149
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,560
WEAR IT TILL YOU TEAR IT.
150
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,761
- SADIE.
151
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,097
S-A-D...
152
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,933
I-E.
153
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,002
DO YOU NOT SPEAK ENGLISH?
MINE'S BROKEN!
154
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,637
I GOT A BROKEN ONE.
155
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,906
- SHE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT
FROM ESPANA.
156
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,409
SORRY, THAT'S WHAT WAS LEFT.
157
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:46,146
EARLIER, SHIRI AND ANGEL HAD
AN ALTERCATION IN THE HALLWAY.
158
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,749
THIS IS WHAT I CALL
A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
159
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:54,488
- "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY WHEN
I DON'T FEEL I AM BEING HEARD."
160
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,757
- [Spanish accent]
"IT MAKE ME A-FEEL..."
161
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,692
- [whispering] FASTER.
- QUE ES "ANGRY"?
162
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,561
- OKAY, I...
- ENOJADO?
163
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,062
- I GOT A PARENT-TEACHER MEETING
OFF CAMPUS IN ABOUT AN HOUR.
164
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,564
SO WHY DON'T WE HAVE
YOUR MENTORS
165
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,333
SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, HUH?
166
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,204
- "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY"...
167
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,340
WHEN MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRLS,
168
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,075
WHO HAVE SPENT
THE LAST THREE YEARS
169
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,210
GIVING HANDIES
IN THE SANCTUARY,
170
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,947
ALL OF A SUDDEN FIND AMBITION
IN TIME FOR COLLEGE APPS
171
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:25,519
AND MONOPOLIZE MY FREE PERIOD
WITH TOUCHY-FEELY BULL CACA.
172
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:29,189
- I WANTED TO RESPOND IN KIND
TO SADIE'S UNKIND RANT,
173
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,692
BUT I WANTED TO SUCCEED
AS A MENTOR EVEN MORE,
174
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,094
AND THAT MEANT EMBRACING
THE EXERCISE...
175
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,463
AND THE ENEMY.
176
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:38,766
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
177
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,200
- EW!
BAD TOUCH!
178
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,368
BAD TOUCH!
179
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,136
SERIOUSLY, I AM GOING TO PUKE.
180
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,741
- OH, HEY,
YOU CAN HAVE THE TABLE.
181
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,910
I GOT A WORKING LUNCH--
WORKING ON MY MUSIC.
182
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,546
- OKAY, FLAG ON THE PLAYER--
183
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,947
HE'S TRYING TO SPIN THIS.
184
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,315
GIVING ME THE LUNCH TABLE,
185
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,150
HE IS TRYING TO LOOK
LIKE THE GOOD GUY.
186
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,620
- CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT
THAT MAYBE HE IS THE GOOD GUY?
187
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,789
I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS IS HOW MATURE BREAKUPS GO.
188
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,824
- WELL, IF HE'S EXPECTING
EX SEX FROM ME,
189
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,225
WE ARE NOT THERE...
190
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,494
YET.
191
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:09,329
- CAN I CRASH
WITH YOU BITCHES?
192
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,665
- HEY, MATTY,
ARE YOU NOT EATING?
193
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,701
- NOPE, NOT HUNGRY.
194
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,002
- OH, WELL,
IF YOU GET HUNGRY LATER,
195
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,970
I'LL NEVER FINISH THIS UNI.
196
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,507
- JAKE WON'T MIND IF YOU SPEND
SOME Q.T. WITH SOME CUTIES.
197
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,975
THIS LUNCH TABLE
IS NEUTRAL GROUND. SIT.
198
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,511
- YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO SIT,
199
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,145
AND I DON'T WANT UNI,
WHATEVER THAT IS.
200
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,980
WHAT I WANT TO DO IS GO
TO THE GYM AND LIFT WEIGHTS,
201
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:30,818
WHICH IS WHERE I WAS HEADED
BEFORE YOU GUYS STOPPED ME.
202
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,986
- JESUS,
SOMEONE'S ON THE ROID RAG.
203
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,589
- CUT HIM SOME SLACK.
HE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME.
204
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,024
- YOU JUST HAD SEX WITH HIM.
205
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,726
WOULD IT KILL HIM TO HANG
FOR ONE PANINI?
206
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,561
- HE DOESN'T HAVE TO TREAT ME
LIKE A GIRLFRIEND.
207
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,597
WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING.
WE'RE FRIENDS, NOT A COUPLE.
208
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,099
- * I GUESS I'M OUT OF LUCK
BECAUSE *
209
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,336
* TOMORROW NEVER COMES
210
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,905
* TOMORROW
NEVER COMES *
211
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:56,209
- O.M. JESUS CREE!
HE IS TAYLOR SWIFTING ME!
212
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,546
- * WAITING AND WAITING
AND WAITING *
213
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,684
- * TOMORROW NEVER COMES
214
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:07,888
* AND I KEEP WAITING
AND WAITING AND WAITING ON *
215
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,558
* TOMORROW NEVER COMES
216
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,125
- FAKE JAKE!
217
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,761
YOU'RE PULLING
A TIMBERLAKE POST BRITNEY,
218
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,729
A TAYLOR SWIFT POST, LIKE,
EVERYBODY.
219
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:19,567
THIS WANNABE REMIX TO JAKARA
IS TOTALLY MISLEADING!
220
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:23,704
TOMORROW DOES COME WHEN TOMORROW
IS PROPERLY STIMULATED.
221
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,105
- THIS SONG'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
222
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,908
IT'S "TOMORROW."
"TOMORROW NEVER COMES."
223
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,710
IT'S ABOUT THE HOPELESSNESS
OF LOVE.
224
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,645
YOU DID BREAK MY HEART.
225
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,581
all: AW.
- OH. [scoffs]
226
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:34,882
- BUT THE SONG'S
STILL NOT ABOUT YOU.
227
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:39,119
- OH, CRY ME A RIVER,
ROSATI!
228
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,455
- NOW, THIS IS THE BEAUTY
OF SUBCONTRACTING MY JOB.
229
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,157
SHOULD'VE DONE IT AGES AGO.
230
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:49,062
- MMM. MMM.
231
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,665
[wax strip tears]
AAH! AAH!
232
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,301
- OKAY,
MAYBE IT WAS AN ODD COMBO,
233
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,236
BUT THE GROUPON
WAS SO CHEAP.
234
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,971
- IT'S KIND OF HARD
TO ENJOY A SLOW-ROASTED MEAT
235
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,608
WHEN YOU'RE HAVING MY PUBIC HAIR
RIPPED OUT AT THE ROOT.
236
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:03,510
IT'S ALSO
HIGHLY UNSANITARY.
237
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,512
VAL, IT GOT A "B"!
[scoffs]
238
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,948
- OH, I THOUGHT
THAT WAS FOR "BRAZILIAN."
239
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,318
- * SHE WORKS
AT THE LOCAL TAQUERIA *
240
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,220
* SHE ALWAYS SMILES AT ME
[computer chimes]
241
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,888
* WHEN I GO THERE
242
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,757
- WHAT UP, MENTOR?
243
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,992
I NEED A LITTLE PEER COUNSELING.
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
244
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,393
- SURE.
245
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,729
- IS IT OKAY TO HOOK UP
246
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,931
WITH THREE GUYS IN ONE NIGHT?
247
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,366
- YOU MEAN AT THE SAME TIME?
- OF COURSE NOT.
248
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,169
I'M NOT A SLUT.
[knock at door]
249
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,538
- ANGEL,
WILL YOU HOLD ON A SEC?
250
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,008
- IS THAT
MATTY MCKIBBEN?
251
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,277
SILF!
SENIOR I'D LIKE TO--
252
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,379
- WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
[laughs]
253
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,513
MM.
254
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,283
- FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!
BOO-YAH!
255
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,118
- UM, I HAVE TO GO.
256
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,687
BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING
I WOULDN'T DO.
257
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,421
- WHAT IS THAT, BACK DOOR?
258
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,691
- HEY. COME HERE.
259
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,793
- THIS WAS A MUCH
DIFFERENT MATTY FROM EARLIER.
260
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,928
CLEARLY WORKING OUT
HAD PUT HIM IN A BETTER MOOD.
261
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,964
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE COMING OVER TONIGHT.
262
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,431
- I WANTED TO SEE YOU.
263
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,101
- OR MAYBE IT HAD JUST
PUT HIM IN THE MOOD.
264
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,436
- UH, I HAVE
CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG ON DVD.
265
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,706
I KNOW IT'S DORKY,
BUT, UH, IT ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP.
266
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,307
YOU WANT TO WATCH IT?
- YEAH.
267
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,877
CAN WE...
WATCH IT LAYING DOWN?
268
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,278
- MATTY SEEMED SOLELY FOCUSED
269
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,813
ON THE BENEFITS
OF OUR FRIENDSHIP,
270
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,082
BUT I CAN'T REALLY SAY
I MINDED.
271
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,383
- HEY.
272
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,718
- OH!
- OH!
273
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,720
HI, MATTY!
- HI.
274
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,389
- UH, JENNA, DO YOU HAVE
ANY OF THOSE PAINKILLERS LEFT
275
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,391
FROM WHEN YOU HAD
YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT?
276
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,226
THAT'S THE LAST TIME
I GOT TO A DISCOUNT SPA.
277
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,728
THANK YOU.
278
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,629
THIS IS WORSE
THAN THE TIME I HAD CRABS.
279
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,732
- MOM!
- FROM NANA'S AFGHAN!
280
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,600
SHE GOT IT FROM A THRIFT STORE
IN THE VALLEY.
281
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,135
[chuckles]
AH!
282
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,770
EEH.
[door closes]
283
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,906
- DO YOU STILL WANT TO...
- I THINK I'M GOOD.
284
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,608
- WE CAN JUST HANG.
285
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:45,979
- UH, YEAH, I'M NOT REALLY
IN THE MOOD TO JUST HANG.
286
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,081
BUT I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
287
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,350
- THERE WOULD BE NO BANG-BANG
THAT NIGHT,
288
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,185
AND THAT SEEMED
TO MAKE MATTY'S GOOD MOOD
289
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,055
ONCE AGAIN TURN CHITTY.
[door closes]
290
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,427
- HEY, MAN, WHAT DID THAT
WATER BOTTLE EVER DO TO YOU?
291
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,996
- OH. NOTHING.
292
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,564
MY, UH--MY PARENTS SUCK.
293
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,334
- WHY?
294
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,903
- JUST--SINCE THEY SPLIT UP,
THEY ARE EVEN WORSE THAN USUAL.
295
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,039
SO...
- YEAH, SPLITTING UP SUCKS.
296
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,440
I MEAN,
UNLESS IT'S FROM TAMARA,
297
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,876
AND THEN
IT'S THE BEST THING EVER.
298
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,745
- HEY, MAN, NO OFFENSE,
BUT DO YOU MIND
299
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,279
IF WE, UH, DON'T TALK ANYMORE?
300
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,448
- YEAH, DUDE.
NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
301
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,017
WE'RE GUYS...
302
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,086
SENIOR GUYS.
303
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,587
I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME
304
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:31,291
WE SHOULD START CASHING IN
THE THOSE CHIPS.
305
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,861
[strums acoustic ballad]
306
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,028
- ARE YOU SEEING THIS?
307
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,229
HE HAS GROUPIES--
308
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,431
EVEN MY PEER MENTEE, CAITLIN.
309
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,067
ONE OF HIS
"WHORECEROR'S" APPRENTICES
310
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,569
MADE HIM A FAN PAGE
LAST NIGHT.
311
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:46,206
- UM, IT SAYS YOU'RE NO LONGER
CONNECTED TO THIS USER.
312
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,875
- HE BLOCKED ME?
313
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,343
OH, GAME ON.
314
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,415
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH
THAT HIDEOUS THING ON YOUR HEAD?
315
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,485
- LEARNING ABOUT MUSLIM CULTURE.
IT'S REALLY NEAT.
316
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:01,021
LIKE, DO YOU KNOW MUSLIMS
HAVE SEVEN LEVELS OF HEAVEN?
317
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,689
WE ONLY HAVE ONE!
318
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:06,526
AND EACH LEVEL IS LIKE
A SANDALS RESORT, BUT BETTER.
319
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,963
- SHIRI,
FIND THE NEAREST MENTAL WARD.
320
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,965
- WHY CAN'T SHE WEAR
HER SCARF?
321
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,701
- HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?
322
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,669
TAKE THIS DOWN.
323
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,006
"YOU'RE NOT BEING A GOOD FRIEND
WHEN YOU DON'T TELL SOMEONE
324
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,373
THEY LOOK RIDICULOUS"...
325
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,309
WHICH YOU DO.
326
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:23,676
YOU'RE WELCOME.
327
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,245
[snaps fingers]
328
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,350
- [strumming ballad]
329
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,985
[stops strumming]
330
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,987
[strumming continues]
331
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,189
- OKAY! LISTEN UP!
332
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,225
PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT--
333
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,727
THERE WILL BE NO MORE MUSIC
IN THE CAFETERIA.
334
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:43,663
IT IS DISTRACTING TO PEOPLE WHO
ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO STUDY.
335
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,199
- WHAT? NO!
- SHE'S RIGHT.
336
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,001
THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE,
337
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,537
WHICH IS WHY
I'M HAVING A PRIVATE CONCERT
338
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,272
AT MY PLACE
TOMORROW NIGHT.
339
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,207
SO WHO'S IN?
340
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,475
- UH, SORRY, SWEETIE.
341
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,278
THERE'S A MANDATORY
PEER-MENTOR MEETING
342
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,314
TOMORROW NIGHT AT JENNA'S.
343
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,851
- THERE IS?
- WHAT, YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS?
344
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:05,118
- MATTY MIGHT SHOW UP
UNEXPECTEDLY.
345
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,619
HE DID LAST NIGHT.
346
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,856
- JENNA, I DON'T WATCH TV
IN THE SUMMER.
347
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,523
KNOW WHY?
- NO, WHY?
348
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,525
- BECAUSE I HATE RERUNS.
349
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,161
THIS IS JUST
LIKE SOPHOMORE YEAR.
350
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,695
HE'S GETTING WHAT HE WANTS,
AND YOU'RE NOT.
351
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,865
- AND WHAT IS IT EXACTLY
THAT I WANT?
352
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,868
- TO BE MORE THAN MATTY'S
SEX-TRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY.
353
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,203
I DON'T CARE
HOW EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE HE IS.
354
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,105
IF HE CAN'T BE CIVIL TO YOU
AT LUNCH
355
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,107
OR MAKE PLANS WITH YOU
RATHER THAN JUST SHOWING UP
356
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,942
WHENEVER HE FEELS LIKE IT,
THEN...
357
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,711
YOU'RE HIS "F" BUDDY,
NOT HIS FRIEND.
358
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,016
- HEY, JENNA, GOT ANOTHER
MENTOR QUESTION FOR YOU.
359
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,550
WHEN GOING DOWN,
360
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,119
IS IT CUSTOMARY TO TAKE OUT
YOUR TONGUE RING?
361
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,221
[upbeat music]
362
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,789
- OKAY.
363
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,491
SO HERE'S THE FIRST STOP
ON THE JENNA HAMILTON
364
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,526
SCARED-STRAIGHT TOUR OF CAMPUS.
365
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,162
THIS IS WHERE I HAD
MANY ILL-ADVISED SECRET HOOKUPS.
366
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,164
I DIDN'T RESPECT MYSELF,
AND WORST OF ALL,
367
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,900
I DIDN'T DEMAND RESPECT
FROM GUYS.
368
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,702
- HEY, HAMILTON.
LOOKING GOOD. 'SUP?
369
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,470
- WOW.
THIS IS THE BALLS--
370
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,907
A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN
COME DURING SCHOOL TO GET SOME?
371
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,208
[laughs]
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
372
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,775
ALL RIGHT.
373
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:07,447
OKAY, AND THIS IS WHERE
I SPENT MANY LUNCHES ALONE
374
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,582
AFTER COMPLETELY ALIENATING
ALL OF MY FRIENDS.
375
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,018
- [screams]
376
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,121
- OH, HEY, BIATCHES.
377
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,622
THANK GOD
THERE'S AT LEAST ONE PLACE
378
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,224
WHERE WE CAN PIERCE
IN PEACE.
379
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,658
JUST GO GET
SOME ANTIBIOTIC CREAM.
380
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,427
YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT
FOR LOTS OF STUFF.
381
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,962
- [laughs]
382
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,263
COOL.
383
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,098
- NO, NOT COOL.
384
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,766
OKAY, LAST STOP,
THE PARKING LOT.
385
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,835
THIS IS WHERE LOSERS GO
TO CUT CLASS.
386
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,637
I USED TO COME HERE
AND SIT AND STARE
387
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,273
AND AVOID EVERYTHING I SHOULD
HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH IN LIFE.
388
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,146
- [sighs]
- MATTY?
389
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,613
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- HUH?
390
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,283
[sniffles]
NOTHING.
391
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:46,819
- I'LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY?
392
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,489
- [sighs]
393
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,824
- ARE YOU HIGH?
394
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,260
- NOPE.
395
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,827
- COME ON,
YOUR EYES ARE ALL RED.
396
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,265
YOU'VE EITHER BEEN SMOKING
OR CRYING.
397
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,367
MATTY, ARE YOU OKAY?
398
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,502
IT HAD BECOME CLEAR
THAT MATTY WAS USING SEX
399
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,572
TO AVOID WHAT HE REALLY
SHOULD'VE BEEN DEALING WITH.
400
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,207
I WANTED TO RESPECT
HIS FEELINGS,
401
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,109
BUT I NEEDED TO FEEL
RESPECTED MYSELF.
402
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,011
- COME ON,
LET'S GET IN THE BACK.
403
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,981
- IGNORING THAT WAS ONE MISTAKE
I COULDN'T AFFORD TO REPEAT.
404
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,616
MATTY, I'M NOT SURE
THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY NEED.
405
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,186
- HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED?
[sniffles]
406
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,421
- BECAUSE I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.
407
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,723
- YOU HAVE NO CLUE
WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH.
408
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,726
- WELL, I'M TRYING TO.
I'M TRYING TO BE...
409
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,396
- TO BE WHAT?
- A FRIEND.
410
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,031
BUT THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING
IS MAKING ME FEEL
411
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,000
LESS LIKE A BUDDY
AND MORE LIKE A [bleep].
412
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,701
- I'M SORRY
YOU SEE IT THAT WAY, JENNA.
413
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,436
I GUESS I'VE JUST BEEN
A LITTLE BUSY
414
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,139
DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT
MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE.
415
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,707
- AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT--
- THAT IS JUST IT, JENNA.
416
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:43,276
I DON'T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY.
417
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,046
I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT
THE HELL ALONE!
418
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:51,384
NO, I DIDN'T MEAN IT
LIKE THAT.
419
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:55,288
- SO YOU JUST WANT TO...
420
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,457
- FOR RIGHT NOW, YEAH.
421
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,394
SO IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT,
THEN JUST TELL ME.
422
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,032
- I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
423
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:08,468
- * I WISH, I WISH I...
424
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,638
* COULD SHUT IT OFF
425
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,508
- YOU SEE, THAT'S WHY
426
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,743
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
TO HAVE GOALS.
427
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,078
- IT IS 8:15.
428
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,479
CAITLIN IS OFFICIALLY
BITCH-DITCHING.
429
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,114
I KNOW THAT SLUT-SKANK
WENT TO JAKE'S.
430
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,582
- YOU MEAN
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?
431
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,151
WHY AM I HERE
IF NO ONE ELSE HAS TO BE?
432
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,618
- SHE'S PROBABLY GIVING
HIS PRIVATES A CONCERT
433
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,187
AS WE SPEAK,
434
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,056
BUT I WILL NEVER KNOW
BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME!
435
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,590
- YOU'RE NOT DATING HIM
ANYMORE.
436
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,725
ANGEL, EARMUFFS.
- [sighs]
437
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,496
- I AM NOT DATING HIM,
438
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,098
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I WANT ANYBODY ELSE DATING HIM!
439
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,799
IT'S A CLASSIC BIZNATCH-22.
440
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,634
I WANT NOTHING TO DO
WITH HIM,
441
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,170
BUT I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING
THAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
442
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:46,106
[distant laughter]
443
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,940
- I'M SIGNING IT "FIRE CROTCH."
[laughter]
444
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,210
- YEAH!
- WHOA, WHOA! MOM!
445
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,944
[all sigh]
446
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,513
- WE'RE WRITING A REVENGE REVIEW
OF THE "SPASTAURANT"
447
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,714
THAT GAVE US
COOCHIE POISONING.
448
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,383
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
449
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,651
- "I'VE SEEN CLEANER FLOORS
IN A BANGKOK BATHHOUSE."
450
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,187
- THAT WAS MINE.
- SWISH!
451
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,754
- OKAY, ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO MAKE ENEMIES
452
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,690
WITH PEOPLE WHO SPEAR MEAT
ONTO SHARP STICKS?
453
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,858
- IT'S FINE.
WE MADE UP A FAKE NAME.
454
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,628
- THAT'S SMART!
- MM-HMM.
455
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,431
- WELL, YOU BITCHES
REALLY KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN.
456
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,300
IT'S BEEN A REAL EYE-OPENER.
- REALLY?
457
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,935
- REALLY! I'M TOTALLY READY FOR
THE PROGRESS MEETING TOMORROW.
458
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,639
- * LOOSEN UP
459
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,108
[computer chiming]
460
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:26,679
* LOOSEN UP
461
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:30,450
*
462
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,253
- "HAVE WE MET?"
463
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:37,724
- "NO, BUT I LISTENED
TO SOME MUSIC ON YOUR FAN PAGE."
464
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,991
[computer chimes]
465
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,561
"YOU ARE CUTE."
466
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:46,399
*
467
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,902
- WELCOME, EVERYONE,
TO WE'RE HERE, WE'RE PEERS.
468
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,772
LET'S FIND OUT
IF WE'VE LEARNED ANYTHING, HMM?
469
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,341
SHIRI?
470
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,611
- I HAVE LEARNED
THAT IT DOES NOT PAY TO BE SHY.
471
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,248
YOU GOT TO TELL PEOPLE
WHAT THEY NEED TO HEAR.
472
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,015
LIKE YOU...
473
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:06,819
YOU NEED A POP OF COLOR.
YOU LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE.
474
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:11,158
POLKA DOTS ARE FOR CLOWNS
IN THE CIRCUS.
475
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:15,027
AND FANNY PACKS ARE SOLELY MEANT
FOR THE ELDERLY AND DISABLED.
476
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,164
[laughs]
477
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,332
DE NADA.
478
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,833
[light applause]
479
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,703
- GRACIAS, SHIRI.
480
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,071
[door closes]
481
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,906
- [whispering]
HI, BABY. HEY, ANGEL.
482
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,741
[sighs]
483
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:32,779
SORRY I'M LATE, SWEETIE.
I WOULDN'T MISS YOUR BIG MOMENT.
484
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,381
- I GOT TO BE HONEST.
485
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,048
I DIDN'T THINK
I HAD ANYTHING TO LEARN
486
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,684
FROM THIS STUPID PROGRAM.
487
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,220
ALL MY LIFE I NEVER REALLY KNEW
WHAT I WANTED TO BE,
488
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,654
AND I DIDN'T CARE.
489
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,857
BUT NOW I HAVE MET SOMEONE
WHO'S SO FREAKIN' COOL
490
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,560
THAT I WANT TO BE
JUST LIKE HER.
491
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,098
AND THANKS TO MY MENTOR, JENNA,
I HAVE SET A GOAL.
492
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,434
I WANT TO BE
16 AND PREGNANT!
493
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,035
[hard rock music]
494
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,205
AND I HAVE JENNA
AND HER BADASS MOM TO THANK
495
00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,639
FOR INSPIRING ME.
496
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,041
[sighs]
497
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,926
- I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE
AS A MENTOR.
498
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,395
- YEAH, BUT YOUR MOM
IS THE COOLEST.
499
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,565
SO YOU CAN'T REALLY BLAME ANGEL
FOR WANTING TO BE LIKE HER.
500
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,734
AND DON'T BE SO HARD
ON MY GIRL.
501
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,237
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE
FIRST BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE?
502
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,239
YOU TOTALLY PUSHED ME AWAY.
503
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,741
BUT I STAYED ON YOU
BECAUSE I CARED,
504
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:38,044
AND I KNEW THAT
YOUR CRAPPY, CRAPPY ATTITUDE
505
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:40,613
HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
506
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,449
DON'T GIVE UP...
507
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,150
EXCEPT ON THIS PROGRAM.
508
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,052
AFTER HE HEARS
ABOUT ANGEL'S SPEECH,
509
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,255
PRINCIPAL COX WILL PROBABLY
PULL THE PLUG.
510
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,924
BUT... [inhales sharply]
DON'T GIVE UP, IN GENERAL.
511
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,926
- I WON'T.
512
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,762
- YEAH, PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
GET TOO CLOSE
513
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,764
UNTIL I GET RID OF THIS RASH.
514
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,333
- VAL WAS RIGHT--
I NEEDED TO STAY ON MATTY,
515
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,001
BECAUSE THE MORE
HE PUSHED ME AWAY...
516
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,970
[doorbell rings]
THE MORE HE REALLY NEEDED ME.
517
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,973
AND I WAS GOING TO BE THERE
FOR HIM.
518
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,577
- OH, HEY, JENNA.
519
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,812
- UH, IS MATTY HERE?
520
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,747
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT SURE
HE'S UP FOR COMPANY.
521
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,650
YOU WERE RIGHT--HE'S REALLY NOT
IN A GREAT PLACE RIGHT NOW.
522
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,087
I THINK HE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE
TO TALK TO.
523
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:24,257
- UNFORTUNATELY, IT LOOKED LIKE
EVA HAD GOTTEN THERE FIRST.
524
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:28,295
- I'LL TELL HIM
YOU STOPPED BY.
525
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,263
[door closes]
526
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:34,066
- * WHEN THE SKY FELL DOWN
527
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:39,972
- NEXT ON AWKWARD...
[whistle blows]
528
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:40,973
- IF THE SENIORS
DON'T WIN SPIRIT WEEK,
529
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,108
I'LL JUMP OVERBOARD.
530
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,310
- FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN RECORDED HISTORY,
531
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,844
THE SENIORS MIGHT LOSE
SPIRIT WEEK.
532
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,178
- [bleep] JUST GOT REAL.
533
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:49,015
- SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY
REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE--
534
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,750
EVA FOR CONVERSATION,
535
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,452
AND MACKENZIE
WAS CLEARLY AVAILABLE
536
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,953
FOR WHATEVER ELSE HE NEEDED.
537
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:57,357
- IT MUST SUCK TO BE OLD
AND UNDESIRABLE.
39549
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