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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,504 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,739 - JAKE SAID HE LOVED ME. - YOU LEFT JAKE HANGING? 3 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:06,807 - YOU KNOW WHAT HER RESPONSE TO ME WAS? 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,309 "AWESOME." - OOH. 5 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,244 - WE KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MATTY. 6 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,712 BUT WHEN DID YOU KNOW? - AFTER WE HAD SEX. 7 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,481 - OKAY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE. 8 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,483 THEN YOU'LL KNOW. - IT'LL BE WORTH THE WAIT. 9 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,384 I PROMISE. 10 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,389 - FROM AN EARLY AGE, I'D BEEN PROGRAMMED 11 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,756 TO DREAM ABOUT MY WEDDING-- 12 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,092 WHAT I WOULD BE WEARING, 13 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,194 WHO I WOULD BE MARRYING, AND... 14 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,196 WHAT KIND OF DEBT I'D BE INHERITING. 15 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,763 'CAUSE, LET'S FACE IT, THE MATRIMONIAL BUSINESS 16 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,365 WAS A RACKET, 17 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:34,402 AND MY MOTHER WAS A SUCKER FOR A GOOD PARTY. 18 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,438 I'D BE PAYING THAT [bleep] OFF TILL I DIED. 19 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,574 BUT IT WOULD BE WORTH IT, BECAUSE THE DAY WOULD BE... 20 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,310 - CRAP! I FORGOT MY CUTLETS! 21 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:43,744 - CONSIDERING ALLY'S PAST, 22 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,646 I NEVER EXPECTED HER TO BE A TRADITIONAL BRIDE. 23 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,281 - FOUND 'EM. 24 00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,583 - SHE WAS MORE THE DRIVE-THRU CHAPEL TYPE. 25 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,785 - HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET HER DRESS IS GONNA HAVE CUTOUTS? 26 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,587 - [mouth full] 20 BUCKS. 27 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:54,855 - 50. 28 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,824 - IT'S NOT GONNA BE OBSCENE. 29 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,093 IT'S GONNA BE SPANDEX. 30 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,461 [all giggle] 31 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,696 [romantic music] 32 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,864 [all gasp] 33 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:10,504 * 34 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,539 - YOU LOOK STUNNING. 35 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,341 - AND YOU WILL TOO. 36 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,344 BECAUSE... 37 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,679 I BOUGHT YOU ALL YOUR DRESSES. 38 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:19,813 - I LOVE IT. 39 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,150 - I'M NOT GONNA THROW UP. 40 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,484 - YOU DID A GOOD JOB, AL. 41 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,386 - ALLY HAD REALLY TURNED A CORNER. 42 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,188 SHE SUDDENLY HAD STYLE, CLASS, 43 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,422 AND GENEROUS SPIRIT. 44 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,424 - I HAD YOUR DRESS SPECIALLY MADE. 45 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:33,161 - I GUESS PEOPLE REALLY COULD ESCAPE THEIR PAST. 46 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,198 - WHAT? YOU'RE NOT A BRIDESMAID. 47 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,566 YOU'RE THE FLOWER BITCH. 48 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,834 - BUT CLEARLY, I COULDN'T ESCAPE MINE. 49 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,770 [typewriter clacking] 50 00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,405 [thud] 51 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,377 - THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY TO TONE THIS DOWN. 52 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,246 SUGGESTIONS? - PUT ON A HAT. 53 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,781 - WHAT'S THAT GONNA DO? - HIDE YOUR FACE. 54 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,283 OKAY, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. 55 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,784 YOU'RE IN A WEDDING. 56 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,387 IT'S GONNA HAVE FULL BOOZE BARS AND DIRTY OLD MEN 57 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,455 TO SNEAK YOU DRINKS. - NOBODY'S GETTING ME A DRINK 58 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,323 LOOKING LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. 59 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,857 - EVERY FAMILY HAS A PERV. 60 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,426 - AND, KNOWING ALLY, 61 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,295 HER FAMILY WOULD HAVE MORE THAN ONE. 62 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,630 - SO MY MOM'S CRASHING AT THE HOTEL, 63 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,599 WHICH MEANS TONIGHT IS GONNA BE THE NIGHT. 64 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,602 - PROJECT BONE IS IN EFFECT? - YEP. 65 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,936 - WITH MY LIFETIME SUPPLY OF PROTECTION... 66 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,671 I'M READY. 67 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,407 BUT MAYBE WE WON'T DO IT HERE. 68 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,808 I SHOULD PREPARE FOR SPONTANEITY. 69 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,643 WHERE AM I GONNA PUT THESE? 70 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:23,811 MOM, I NEED A PURSE. 71 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,214 - LOOK AT THE ONES ON MY BED. 72 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,582 - YOUR BAD TAN LINES ARE LIFTING. 73 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,284 - I KNEW THAT MORON AT THE SALON 74 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,552 USED THE WRONG SKIN TONER. 75 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,654 LIL' BITCH, GET ME MY SIPPY CUP. 76 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,688 - SIPPY CUP? 77 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,691 - I NEED MY JUICE! 78 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,327 - AND A CHEESEBURGER. 79 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,629 ALLY HAD BEEN ON A CLEANSE FOR OVER A MONTH, 80 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,397 WHICH HAD TAKEN HER FROM BRIDEZILLA 81 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,565 TO BRIDESASTER. 82 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,836 - I'M GETTING NERVOUS. 83 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,239 - WHY? - IT'S MY BIG DAY. 84 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,940 - WELL, I'M HOPING THAT THE WEDDING 85 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,476 WILL REKINDLE SOMETHING WITH KEVIN, 86 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,978 WHICH IS WHY I GOT A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT. 87 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,913 HE IS A SUCKER FOR HOTEL SEX. 88 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,449 [giggles] 89 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,785 - LACE, PUT THE FAN DOWN. 90 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:07,755 KEVIN'S NOT COMING. HE R.S.V.P.'d WITH REGRETS. 91 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,358 - REGRETS? WHAT KIND OF REGRETS. 92 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,893 - THE WEDDING KIND. FRICKIN' RELAX. 93 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,363 'CAUSE GUESS WHO'S SINGLE, HOT, 94 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:18,466 AND STILL HUNG UP ON YOU. 95 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:19,633 [whispers] BEN'S COMING. 96 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,768 - MY BEN? 97 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,270 - WHO'S BEN? 98 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,671 - DID SHE JUST SAY "MY BEN"? 99 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,872 MOM, WHY IS HE YOUR BEN? 100 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,276 - DAMN...I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN, LIKE-- 101 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,544 - 15 YEARS. - YEAH! 102 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,814 NOT SINCE AFTER-- AFTER JENNA WAS BORN. 103 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,916 IS HE STILL FUNNY? 104 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,951 - OHH. FUNNIER. 105 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,353 - WITH MY DAD OUT OF THE PICTURE 106 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,988 AND MY MOM IN A VULNERABLE PLACE, 107 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,556 SUDDENLY A HOTEL ROOM OUT OF MY SIGHT 108 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,791 DIDN'T SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA. 109 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,560 I NEEDED SOME CLARITY ON THE BEN SITCH. 110 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,862 MOM, ANSWER ME. WHO IS BEN? 111 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,498 - LIL' BITCH, WHY DO YOU NEED A PURSE? 112 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,999 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A BASKET--WHERE IS IT? 113 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,734 - DON'T KNOW. 114 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,903 - [screams] EMILY! 115 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:59,039 WHERE'S THE FLOWER BASKET? 116 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,741 - IT'S...HERE. 117 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,710 LET'S SEE, WE HAVE SOMETHING OLD, 118 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,313 SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, 119 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,814 AND BLUE. - AND--AND BASKET. 120 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,716 I DON'T SEE A BASKET. 121 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,718 - THAT WAS ON YOUR LIST! 122 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,952 - DON'T WORRY, WE'RE GONNA... 123 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:12,986 FIGURE THIS OUT. 124 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,322 AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 125 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,959 - I CAN'T HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT A BASKET. 126 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:23,764 - TAKE THIS! 127 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,899 SEE? BIG FLOWER BITCH. 128 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,468 BIG BASKET! 129 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,636 - THAT IS NOT GONNA WORK! 130 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:31,905 [slurping] 131 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,907 - MOM, WHO IS BEN? 132 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,710 - SO WE HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A GLITCH. 133 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,813 NOTHING TOO MAJOR, BUT MY ASSISTANT JUST QUIT. 134 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:42,916 DON'T FRET, I'M GONNA FIND SOMEONE TO HELP. 135 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,352 I HOPE. 136 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,553 - TAMARA CAN ASSIST YOU. 137 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,455 - WHAT? WHY ME? 138 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,423 - BECAUSE I CAN'T GET THROUGH THIS DAY ALONE. 139 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,724 - I PAY CASH! 140 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:51,892 - I AM YOUR SLAVE. 141 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:52,893 - OHH. 142 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,528 - WHOA. 143 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,029 - EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL. 144 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,465 THEY'RE GONNA GET ME A BASKET, 145 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,066 AND YOU DON'T NEED TO IMPLODE. 146 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,402 - IMPLODE? 147 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:04,037 ALL I ASKED WAS FOR YOU TO DO ONE THING. 148 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,906 HOLD A FRICKIN' BASKET! 149 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,841 YOU ARE RUINING MY WEDDING 150 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:11,011 JUST LIKE YOU RUINED MY LIFE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN. 151 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,881 - APPARENTLY, ALLY COULDN'T GET PAST THE PAST. 152 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,082 AND I WAS DONE. 153 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,017 - YOU JUST LOST YOUR FLOWER BITCH. 154 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,686 - GOOD. 155 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,487 - GIRLS, PLEASE. 156 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,054 LET'S NOT GET CRAZY. 157 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,656 OKAY, WE'RE ALREADY THERE. 158 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,061 [dialing] 159 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,831 [cell phone rings] 160 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,700 - HEY, BABE, JUST BORROWING A SUIT AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY. 161 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,402 - FORGET THE SUIT. I QUIT. 162 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,769 - [snickering] QUIT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU QUIT? 163 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,638 - THE WEDDING. - THERE'S BASKETS EVERYWHERE! 164 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,573 - WE WILL FIND-- - I JUST WANTED TO MARRY... 165 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,410 - ALLY'S LOST HALF HER BODY WEIGHT, ALONG WITH HER SANITY. 166 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,111 WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING FUN INSTEAD. 167 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,713 MY MOM'S STAYING AT THE HOTEL, 168 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,081 SO WE'VE GOT THE PLACE TO OURSELVES. 169 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,117 - ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SUGGESTING? 170 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,119 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. 171 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,021 BUT IF YOU HAVE A DIRTY MIND, YOU'LL MEET ME HERE AROUND 5:00. 172 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,823 - I'LL BE THERE AT 4:59. 173 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,059 - ALLY! ALLY! 174 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,061 - CHANGE OF PLANS, DUDE. I DON'T NEED A SUIT. 175 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,631 - GOOD THING, 'CAUSE THIS MIGHT BE CURSED. 176 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,066 [snickers] LAST TIME I WORE IT WAS TO THE FORMAL. 177 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,636 - RIGHT...WHEN YOU GOT DISSED BY THAT GIRL 178 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,438 WITH THAT OTHER GUY-- I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. 179 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,739 HEY, WHO WAS THAT, ANYWAY? 180 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:16,444 [cell phone playing jingle] 181 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,514 - COURTNEY? DON'T YOU WANNA GET IT? 182 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,682 - NOT WITH YOU HERE. 183 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,783 - UH, OH, HEY, IT'S MATTY. 184 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,151 I BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY, 185 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,753 WRITING IN MY DIARY. - HI. 186 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,522 YEAH? CAN I CALL YOU BACK? - [kissing noises] 187 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,623 - COURTNEY. - YEAH, UH-HUH. 188 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,858 I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. 189 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,992 DUDE, REALLY FUNNY. 190 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,161 - SO WHAT'S UP WITH YOU TWO, ANYWAY? 191 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,096 - EH...SHE'S COOL. 192 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,999 - AS IN...GIRLFRIEND COOL? 193 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,901 - I'M FEELING IT OUT, YEAH. 194 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,036 - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE FINALLY OVER THAT CHICK FROM CAMP. 195 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,072 - YEAH, I'M READY TO MOVE ON. 196 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,707 - I CAN'T MOVE ON. 197 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,776 ALLY'S ALWAYS HOLDING MY BIRTH AGAINST ME, 198 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,143 LIKE I HAD SOME CHOICE IN THE MATTER. 199 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,212 I HATE HER. - THEN WHY ARE YOU HELPING ME? 200 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,081 - BECAUSE I'M A NICE PERSON! 201 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,916 [gasps] HIDE IT. 202 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,185 NOW THAT I'M OUT, I DON'T WANT A WAY BACK IN. 203 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,853 - NO, YOU ARE. 204 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,490 [giggling] NO, YOU. 205 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,057 RICKY, SHUT IT. I GOTTA GO. 206 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,493 WHERE CAN I GET READY? 207 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,027 - BY THE DUMPSTER. - THAT'S SWEET, 208 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,863 BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A TOUR OF YOUR HOME. 209 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,565 - GUEST BATH IS THROUGH THE KITCHEN. 210 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,835 - I CAN'T DO THIS. 211 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,504 I CAN'T WORK A WEDDING WHILE SADIE AND RICKY 212 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:17,871 GNAW ON EACH OTHER. 213 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,940 I'M INTO PORN, BUT NOT THE TORTURE KIND. 214 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,075 - RICKY'S WITH SADIE. HE'S THE ONE BEING TORTURED. 215 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,210 - TRUE. 216 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,045 RICKY HAS A SADIE. 217 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,079 - [gasps] 218 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,981 BEN IS COMING! 219 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,150 - MY MOM HAS A BEN. WHO THE HELL IS BEN? 220 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,520 - HE'S THE GUY YOUR MOM SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. 221 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,525 - SO FAR, THERE WERE NO BENS IN MY MOM'S FRESHMAN CLASS. 222 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,092 MAYBE HE'S OLDER? 223 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,595 - JESUS, YOUR MOM DOCUMENTED EVERY MOMENT OF HIGH SCHOOL, 224 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,797 LIKE IT WAS THE BEST TIME OF HER LIFE. 225 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,265 - IT WAS. 226 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,867 both: SAD. 227 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:52,039 LODE TO THE MOTHER. I STRUCK SCRUNCHIES. 228 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,841 - BEN AND MY MOM WERE DEFINITELY A COUPLE. 229 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,644 MAYBE THIS IS THE GUY SHE SLEPT WITH BEFORE MY DAD. 230 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,879 - RED FLAG: SEE HIS SKIN? OILY. 231 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,948 ODDS ARE, HE'S NOW BALD AND FAT. 232 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,886 - THEY WENT TO A COSTUME PARTY? 233 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,288 SOMETHING CALLED "KID N PLAY"? 234 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,256 WHAT IS THAT? 235 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,124 - NOT A THREAT. 236 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,060 BEN'S DEFINITELY NOT GONNA OUT-HOT YOUR POP. 237 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,563 - KID! - PLAY! 238 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:20,968 - THREAT ALERT. 239 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,570 - T, GET ME THAT BASKET. 240 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,007 YOU SMELL SO GOOD. 241 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,075 ARE YOU STILL USING... 242 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,677 both: COCONUT BODY WASH. 243 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:30,778 - YEAH. [both laugh] 244 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,045 - [forced laugh] 245 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,714 REUNION'S OVER. OH, HI. 246 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,650 LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT THAT NASTY SKIN CONDITION CLEARED UP. 247 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,685 - JENNA! 248 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,587 BEN, I AM SO SORRY. 249 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,321 SHE IS NOT USUALLY THIS RUDE. 250 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,791 - AH, IT'S OKAY. SHE'S SPUNKY. 251 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,593 SHE TAKES AFTER HER MOM. 252 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,628 - [chuckles] - SOUNDED LIKE A COMPLIMENT, 253 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:50,230 BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ALL THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT ME 254 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,932 ARE DIRECTLY RELATED TO MY DAD, 255 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,834 WHO, FOR THE RECORD, IS STILL MARRIED TO MY MOM. 256 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,303 - [laughs] - SO...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 257 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,706 - UH, ALLY WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU ALL A RIDE 258 00:08:58,739 --> 00:08:59,973 OVER TO THE CEREMONY. 259 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,709 - OH, DID SHE? - YEAH, SHE DID. 260 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:02,810 - [laughs] 261 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:03,811 - GOOD NEWS, MOM. 262 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,212 WE FOUND THE BASKET. 263 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,647 BACK IN THE WEDDING! 264 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,849 - THAT IS SO GREAT, SWEETIE. 265 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,050 - [snaps fingers] 266 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,919 WE NEED TO FINISH GETTING READY. 267 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,054 - OH! WELL, BEN, WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN THE LIVING ROOM? 268 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,990 - OR THE CAR. 269 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,927 - I W--I WILL GO WAIT IN THE CAR. 270 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,662 - OKAY. 271 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,863 - AHEM. 272 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,367 - WHAT WAS THAT? 273 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,869 - WAS I FRAZZLED? 274 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,771 I FELT FRAZZLED. 275 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,273 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN... 276 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,008 both: 15 YEARS. 277 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,110 - I FORGOT HOW HANDSOME HE IS. 278 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,647 AND THOSE EYES. 279 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:44,384 WHAT HE COULD MAKE ME DO JUST BY LOOKING A-- 280 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,720 NO WONDER I FELT FRAZZLED! 281 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:49,389 I LOOK FRAZZLED! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? 282 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,191 - WELL, IT WAS A LITTLE HARD TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE 283 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,894 BETWEEN HIS STARE AND YOUR DROOL. 284 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:54,928 WHO IS THIS BEN GUY? 285 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,797 - HE'S MY EX-BOYFRIEND. 286 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,066 - THE ONE WHO SWIPED YOUR V-CARD? 287 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,734 - WELL, I WOULDN'T PUT IT LIKE THAT, 288 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,703 BUT, YES. 289 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,237 THANK GOD FOR THE GIRLS. 290 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,039 AT LEAST THEY WERE IN GOOD FORM. 291 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,875 SHOOT! I HAVE TO GET READY. 292 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:11,144 OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SAW ME LOOKING LIKE SUCH A MESS! 293 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,345 OHH! 294 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,947 - THIS IS NOT GOOD. - NO JOKE. 295 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,148 BEN'S YOUR MOM'S MATTY. 296 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,249 - TAMARA HAD CONNECTED THE DOTS. 297 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,051 BEN WAS HOT, HOVERING, AND WAITING 298 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,787 TO GIVE MY MOTHER A RIDE, AGAIN. 299 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,789 IF HE WAS MY MOM'S MATTY, THEN I WAS IN TROUBLE, 300 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,323 AND SO WAS MY DAD. 301 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,025 DAD, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 302 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,694 DROP IT AND CALL ME BACK. 303 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,730 IT'S AN-- - EMERGENCY! 304 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,965 MY WATER JUST BROKE. 305 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,433 [car engine starts] - CRAP...BALLS! 306 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,869 DAMN IT! [bleep] ME! 307 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,404 NOW I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO WORRY ABOUT. 308 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,139 - YOU KNOW, MONICA'S GONNA BE FINE. 309 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,440 SHE'S ON HER WAY TO THE HOSPITAL. 310 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,942 - I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MONICA. 311 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,912 NOW, I HAVE A HOLE IN MY BRIDAL PARTY. 312 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,313 - JENNA CAN DO IT! - NO. 313 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,181 LIL' BITCH NEEDS TO THROW THE FLOWERS. 314 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,350 I HAVE TO HAVE ONE MORE BRIDESMAID. 315 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,220 - WHAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE IS A DETOX FROM THE CRACK PIPE. 316 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,956 NO ONE IS GONNA BE AVAILABLE AT THE LAST MINUTE 317 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,190 ON A SATURDAY. 318 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:58,826 - I LOVE IT! 319 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,293 IT'S SO BLOUSY. 320 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,763 NOW I CAN HIT THE OL' BUFFET EXTRA HARD. 321 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,932 - [giggles] THANK YOU SO MUCH 322 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,099 FOR DOING THIS. 323 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,034 - AH, OF COURSE. 324 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,736 - LACEY! 325 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,807 - I NEED A FAVOR. - I'M HERE FOR YOU. 326 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,342 - MY DAD ISN'T HERE, BUT MY MOM'S EX IS. 327 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,177 HE'S STILL HOT FOR HER. 328 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,411 SINCE MY MOM'S AN EMOTIONAL HOT MESS, 329 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,913 I THINK SHE MIGHT BE AN EASY TARGET TONIGHT. 330 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,281 GET MY DRIFT? 331 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,816 - YOU WANT ME TO KEEP THE DUDE DISTRACTED 332 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,185 SO YOUR MOM DOESN'T FEEL THE NEED TO REVISIT HISTORY. 333 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,821 - EXACTLY. - I DON'T KNOW. 334 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,056 - PLEASE? 335 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,257 - UGH. 336 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,391 LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU, J. 337 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,993 I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP. 338 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,162 OKAY? AND IN THIS BAD-ASS DRESS, 339 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,297 I MIGHT HAVE A HARD TIME KEEPING HIS PAWS OFF ME. 340 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:40,133 GOD FORBID HE HIT MY SWEET SPOT... 341 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,802 UNH! 342 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,971 I CAN'T GUARANTEE I CAN KEEP VIXEN VAL 343 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,005 FROM STEPPING OUT ON HER MAN. 344 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,207 - I WILL BUY YOU A CAT. 345 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,241 PERSIAN? 346 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,110 - FERAL. I LIKE TO RESCUE. 347 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,812 - BITCH? 348 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,514 - IT'S LIL' BITCH. 349 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,216 - BITCH. 350 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,985 CRAZYTOWN 80 POUNDS WANTS US TO WEAR 351 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,386 OUR HAIR IN DOUBLE BUNS. 352 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,121 THIS IS NOT GONNA WORK FOR ME 353 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,791 AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU AND YOUR BIG LOVE HAIR. 354 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,292 CAN YOU REASON WITH HER? 355 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:08,829 - [giggles] NO. DO WHAT SHE WANTS. 356 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,264 - AS EXPECTED, YOU'RE USELESS. 357 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:14,234 I'LL HANDLE IT. YOU'RE WELCOME. 358 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,437 LISTEN, AUNTIE ATTITUDE, 359 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,807 I APPRECIATE THAT THIS IS YOUR DAY, 360 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,241 BUT I'M AT MY LIMIT OF CONCESSIONS. 361 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,843 I'M NOT GONNA SUCCUMB TO SOME 362 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,377 FUGTASTIC FIGURE-SKATER STYLE 363 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,378 BECAUSE YOU-- 364 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:29,983 - BECAUSE...I...WHAT? 365 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,519 - I HATE HER. 366 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,254 - WELL, WELCOME TO THE CLUB. 367 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,959 - YOUR DAD JUST CALLED AND SAID THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY. 368 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,493 WHAT'S WRONG? - BEN! 369 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,362 I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. 370 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,197 NEED A REMINDER OF THE VOW YOU TOOK? 371 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,366 - HONEY, WE'RE OLD FRIENDS. THAT'S IT. 372 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,835 SO THERE'S NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT 373 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,970 HOW RIDICULOUSLY HOT HE IS. 374 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,138 - MOM! 375 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,306 - LADIES, FINAL TOUCHES. 376 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,508 AND YOU HAVE A SPECIAL VISITOR. 377 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,278 [romantic music] 378 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,081 - HEY...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 379 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:04,184 - I, UH, BROUGHT JAKE MY SUIT. 380 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,252 YEAH. 381 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,219 - * FOLLOW ME AROUND 382 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:09,056 - UH, HE SHOULD BE ON HIS WAY. 383 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,924 SO THE WEDDING'S BACK ON. 384 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,125 - IT WAS NEVER OFF. 385 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,162 I JUST HAD A MOMENTARY FREAK-OUT. 386 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,097 - WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD NOW. 387 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,431 - I LOOK LIKE A CREAM PUFF. 388 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,499 - [laughs] 389 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,868 - HEY, I'M HERE. 390 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:21,869 I'M HERE. HI. 391 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,170 HI. 392 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,872 WHERE CAN I CHANGE? 393 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,106 - UH, THERE'S A ROOM DOWN THE HALL. 394 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,174 - GREAT. THANKS, MAN. 395 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,575 YOU'RE THE BEST. 396 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,912 OH...HAVE FUN TONIGHT WITH COURTNEY. 397 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,547 DO SOMETHING I WOULD DEFINITELY DO, HUH? 398 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,284 - THEN I GUESS I'M IN FOR A DULL EVENING. 399 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,986 - HILARIOUS! 400 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,121 - * YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE 401 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,355 - EVERYTHING GOOD? 402 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,124 - YEAH. THANKS FOR BRINGING THE SUIT. 403 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,959 - OH, IT'S WHAT I DO. I PROBLEM SOLVE. 404 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:48,128 AND SINCE THE PROBLEM IS SOLVED, 405 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,163 I GUESS I BETTER HEAD OUT. 406 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,232 - * ALL THAT I WANT 407 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,533 - YOU GUYS LOOK GOOD TOGETHER. 408 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,102 - YOU THINK SO? 409 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,104 - YEAH, AND I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. 410 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,940 EVEN IF IT DOES STING A LITTLE. 411 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,576 - SO HOW'S COURTNEY? - GREAT. 412 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,112 YEAH, SHE'S-- SHE'S GREAT. 413 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,113 REALLY GREAT. 414 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,547 - THANKS FOR ASKING. 415 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,984 - MATTY... 416 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,486 IT STILL STINGS A LITTLE FOR ME TOO. 417 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,223 MATTY AND I FINALLY HAD CLOSURE. 418 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,657 AND WHILE IT WAS BITTERSWEET, 419 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,160 WE WERE ROOTING FOR EACH OTHER. 420 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,561 SO WHAT WAS I WORRIED ABOUT WITH BEN? 421 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,530 - WELL, LACEY LOOKS REALLY GOOD. 422 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,232 AND SHE'S SEPARATED. 423 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,567 I THINK TONIGHT MIGHT BE MY CHANCE TO MAKE UP 424 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,370 FOR SOME LOST TIME. 425 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,940 - WHERE'S THE FLOWER BITCH?! 426 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,545 I'M MARRIED, BITCHES! 427 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,048 [cheers and applause] 428 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,016 - THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG NIGHT. 429 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,184 - CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK? 430 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,585 - YES, PREFERABLY WITH SOME KICK. 431 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,954 - [chuckles] 432 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,056 OH! MRS. HAMILTON. COCKTAIL? 433 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,590 - SHE'LL HAVE A SODA. 434 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,525 [light classical music] 435 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,627 - HONEY, I DO NOT NEED A CHAPERONE. 436 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,964 - MM, BUT THAT'S THE THING-- YOU DO. 437 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,665 - IF IT ISN'T THE BEAUTIFUL HAMILTON SISTERS. 438 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,233 [chuckling] 439 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,635 - GROSS. BEN'S TACTICS WERE TACKY. 440 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,604 BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, SO WAS MY MOTHER. 441 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,306 SO THEY WERE WORKING. 442 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,176 - STILL THE CHARMER. 443 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,278 - OH! YOU DON'T WANNA DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET. 444 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,015 - I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. 445 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,984 EMILY IS SO FAR UP MY BUTT, I COULD TASTE HER, 446 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,351 AND IF THAT WASN'T CRAPTASTIC ENOUGH, 447 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,087 I CAN'T ESCAPE SADIE AND RICKY! 448 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,489 THEY'VE BEEN RAPING EACH OTHER'S FACES ALL NIGHT. 449 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:29,029 I'M GONNA CRACK, JENNA. I AM SERIOUSLY GONNA... 450 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,200 MOVE THE WEDDING CAKE. 451 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,667 YOU OWE ME. - AND I DID. 452 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,704 TAMARA HAD SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED MY SANITY ALL DAY, 453 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,007 AND I NEEDED TO RETURN THE FAVOR. 454 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,274 IF SHE COULDN'T ESCAPE HER PAST, 455 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:44,244 THEN I WOULD RECOUNT IT. 456 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,113 - DOLL FACE, YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN 457 00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,447 IN THIS ROOM. 458 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,715 - AND... 459 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,118 - AND I LOVE YOUR FULL LIPS. 460 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:54,021 AND YOUR FULL FACE. 461 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,222 AND YOUR FULL A-- 462 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,456 - WATCH IT. 463 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,692 - MIND IF I STEAL HER FOR A SECOND? 464 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,394 - ONLY FOR A SECOND. 465 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,430 - HEEL. - CAN YOU TONE IT DOWN? 466 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,697 TAMARA'S STILL A LITTLE SENSITIVE 467 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,333 TO THE RICKY SUCK-FACE SIDESHOW. 468 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:10,037 - OH, NO... I-I'M SO SORRY. 469 00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,171 I'M NOT. 470 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,739 YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME. 471 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,541 - RICKY MIGHT WANT TO BE WITH YOU NOW, 472 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,609 BUT JUST WAIT-- HE'S A CHEATER AND A LIAR, 473 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,245 AND WHILE YOU MIGHT THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL, 474 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,479 YOU'RE NOT. 475 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,349 SO ENJOY THE DELUSION WHILE IT LASTS. 476 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,391 - YOU SEEM UNCOMMONLY CALM. 477 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,261 - I TOOK A MUSCLE RELAXER. 478 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,763 - JUST A MUSCLE RELAXER? 479 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,332 - OR THREE. 480 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,600 - AL... 481 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,735 IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT. 482 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,337 YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH HIM YET. 483 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:47,607 IT'LL BE AN EASY ANNULMENT. 484 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,709 I THINK YOU RUSHED INTO THIS. 485 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,512 - I DID. - WHY? 486 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,247 - SO HE WOULDN'T CHANGE HIS MIND. 487 00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:57,584 LACE, HE'S THE FIRST MAN WHO'S REALLY LOVED ME. 488 00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,520 AND THAT'S A FEELING THAT'S HARD TO FORGET. 489 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,492 - I KNOW. 490 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,263 [pop song] 491 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,265 [giggles] 492 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,501 - YOU'RE ON. READY? 493 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,704 - POINT ME TO THE TARGET. 494 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,506 OH, GOD. NO, I CAN'T DO THIS. 495 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,574 I WON'T BE ABLE TO HOLD IT TOGETHER. 496 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:24,244 - I KNOW HE'S ATTRACTIVE, BUT-- - HE IS NOT MY TYPE. 497 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,445 - PRETEND. 498 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:26,646 - I CAN PRETEND TO BE MANY THINGS, 499 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,515 BUT ATTRACTED TO A PRETTY BOY? 500 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,717 THAT IS ABOVE THE CALL OF DUTY, J. 501 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:34,354 I'LL JUST KEEP YOUR MOM PREOCCUPIED INSTEAD. 502 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,257 - HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE YOU CHEATED ON? 503 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,559 - DEFINE CHEATING. 504 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,528 - [sighs] - YES. 505 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,296 OKAY? YES. I'VE CHEATED. 506 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,398 ON EVERY GIRL I'VE EVER BEEN WITH. 507 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,699 BUT THEY WERE NOT YOU. 508 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,801 I LOVE YOU, DOLL FACE. 509 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,570 AND ONLY YOU. 510 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,142 - SAY IT AGAIN. 511 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,445 - I LOVE YOU, AND ONLY YOU. 512 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:03,416 * 513 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,152 - HEY, WHAT'S WRONG? 514 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,519 - WHAT ISN'T? 515 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,621 I'M DESTINED TO BE AN UNLOVABLE LOSER 516 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,723 AND SADIE CAN'T HELP BUT RUB IT IN MY FACE. 517 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:14,694 - YEAH. SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL. 518 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,164 - I'M GONNA PUT AN END TO THIS. 519 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,299 - I'M PUTTING AN END TO THIS. - TO WHAT? 520 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,401 - YOUR WALTZ DOWN MEMORY LANE. 521 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,869 JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE SEPARATED 522 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,438 DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OPEN SEASON ON MY MOM. 523 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,507 I KNOW YOUR TYPE. 524 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,509 YOU LOST OUT, AND NOW YOU WANT HER BACK. 525 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,378 BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, 526 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,646 BECAUSE MY MOM LOVES MY DAD, 527 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,915 AND SHE WANTS HIM BACK. - POINT TAKEN. 528 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,218 - GOOD. - YOU'RE RIGHT. 529 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:42,489 I SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR MOM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE. 530 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,626 BUT LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. 531 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,461 I MEAN, IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL, 532 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:49,696 DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. 533 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,698 - AND I DID HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL 534 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,833 WHO I'D BEEN TAKING FOR GRANTED ALL NIGHT. 535 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,635 WITH THE BEN SITCH PUT TO BED, 536 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,205 IT WAS FINALLY TIME TO JUMP INTO MINE WITH JAKE. 537 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,875 -YOU OFF THE CLOCK? -NOT QUITE, BUT AT THIS POINT 538 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,577 EMILY CAN SUCK IT. 539 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,778 - HAVE YOU SEEN JAKE? 540 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,747 - HE'S GIVING IT TO SADIE FOR ME. 541 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,282 - I LOVE THAT KID. 542 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,917 - AND I DID TOO. 543 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,486 AND IT WAS TIME TO TELL HIM. 544 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,689 RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THEN. 545 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:17,724 [cell phone rings] - COME ON, PLEASE. 546 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:18,925 JUST CHILL OUT. 547 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,693 - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 548 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,429 - YOU'RE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT. 549 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,432 - HEY...SORRY I'VE BEEN M.I.A. ALL DAY. 550 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,300 I WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 551 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,935 I THINK IT'S TIME WE DITCHED THE RECEPTION. 552 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,638 - ME? I'M THE FOOL? 553 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,606 UM, SADLY, THAT WOULD BE YOU. 554 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,377 WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR BEST FRIEND'S SLOPPY SECONDS 555 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,311 AND LEAVE ME ALONE. 556 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,847 - EXCUSE ME? 557 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,782 - OHH. 558 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,617 YOU DON'T KNOW? 559 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:47,320 YOU REALLY ARE THE FOOL. 560 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,622 * 561 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,458 - YOU'RE A BITCH. 562 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,860 AND I DON'T BELIEVE A THING YOU'RE SAYING. 563 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,428 - ASK MATTY. 564 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,464 HE HAD A PIECE OF YOUR HAMILTON PIE 565 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,832 LONG BEFORE YOU DID. 566 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,404 - GO TO HELL. 567 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,339 - [snaps fingers] 568 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,442 - WHERE IS SHE? 569 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,578 - SHE'S WITH ANOTHER GUY. 570 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,713 - GLAD YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING OVER THAT CHICK FROM CAMP. 571 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,714 - YEAH. 572 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,716 * 573 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,252 - * THE FATE OF THE WORLD YOU LEAVE * 574 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,388 - AND ONE MORE THING. 575 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,723 I LOVE YOU, JAKE ROSATI. 576 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,959 - * MAKING A MOMENT 577 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:30,363 - GONE WERE THE SECRETS AND HEARTACHE OF MY PAST. 578 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,932 I WAS LOOKING AT MY FUTURE. 579 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:36,469 - * NOW'S YOUR CHANCE 580 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,740 NEXT ON AWKWARD... 581 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,742 -WHAT'S WRONG? -US 582 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,377 TROUBLE IN PARADISE? 583 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,045 - I DON'T THINK SHE'S BEING HONEST WITH ME. 584 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,047 - ABOUT WHAT? - THAT OTHER GUY. 585 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,783 I JUST HAVE A GUT FEELING THAT THAT GUY'S STILL AROUND. 586 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,885 - LISTEN, YOUR DAD'S THE ONE WHO RUINED THEIR RELATIONSHIP, 587 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,355 AND IT STARTED YEARS AGO. 40198

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