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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,504 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,706 - YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO LURE YOU AWAY FROM JAKE? 3 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:06,574 - YES! 4 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:07,341 - MATTY'S BEEN ACTING WEIRD LATELY. 5 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,710 HAVE YOU NOTICED? both: TRUCE. 6 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:13,381 - I HAD FAITH THAT MATTY AND I HAD POTENTIAL TO BE FRIENDS. 7 00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,420 [class bell rings] 8 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,522 [upbeat pop music] 9 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,524 - LOVE IS A SHAM! 10 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,126 - JEALOUSY ALWAYS HAD A WAY 11 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,760 OF BRINGING OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE. 12 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:30,198 - AMY! I GAVE YOU MY HEART, 13 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,834 MY SOUL, MY SWEATSHIRT! 14 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,503 I GAVE HER THAT SWEATSHIRT. 15 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,639 - BAD BREAKUP? - 10.5 ON THE DICK-TER SCALE. 16 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,242 TONY CAUGHT AMY WITH LEVI AT HIS SISTER'S QUINCEANERA. 17 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:44,545 - OUCH. WASN'T THAT PARTY OVER A MONTH AGO? 18 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,214 CLEARLY, THE FACT THAT IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY 19 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,649 WAS GIVING TONY P.T.X.D.-- 20 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,518 POST TRAUMATIC EX DISORDER. 21 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,253 - I HATE THIS HOLIDAY. 22 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,588 - V-DAY HAD DIVIDED THE SCHOOL INTO LOVERS AND HATERS, 23 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,524 AND I WAS A LOVER. 24 00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,128 'CAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME, MY DAD WASN'T MY ONLY VALENTINE. 25 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,396 I FINALLY HAD NO REASON TO HATE ON HALLMARK 26 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:04,365 BECAUSE I HAD A PERFECT BOYFRIEND. 27 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,234 THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT. 28 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,735 I WAS GONNA ENJOY THE DAY... 29 00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,770 - LOVE SUCKS! 30 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:14,475 - AS A HUMAN TARGET. 31 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,244 [computer keys clicking] 32 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,745 [bang] 33 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,280 - NICE LOOK. 34 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,215 - I WAS THE VICTIM OF A LOVE-HATE CRIME. 35 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,651 - THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR P.D.A. 36 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:27,155 ANYWAY, I NEED SOME ADVICE. 37 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,756 WHAT MAKES THE PERFECT DATE FOR A VALENTINE? 38 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,793 - SO JAKE HAD SENT MATTY OVER TO GET SOME COVERT INTEL. 39 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,662 WELL, SOMEPLACE CLOSE IS GOOD. 40 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,464 - KEEP IT LOCAL. GOT IT. 41 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,166 - AND IT'S KIND OF A BUZZKILL IF YOU NEED A TRANSLATOR 42 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,467 TO READ THE MENU. - AND NOT TOO FANCY. 43 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,668 - AND VERY IMPORTANT-- THE PLACE SHOULD BE QUIET, 44 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,835 SO YOU CAN TALK. 45 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,404 I'D HIGHLY RECOMMEND BISTO'S. 46 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,373 - WHAT ABOUT FLOWERS? - FLOWERS ARE GREAT. 47 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,740 BUT NOT CARNATIONS OR ANYTHING WITH BABY'S BREATH. 48 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,342 - [laughs] 49 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,578 DOES THAT SMELL LIKE BOOBS? - GROSS. 50 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,180 PERSONALLY, I PREFER TULIPS. 51 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,282 - HEY, SORRY I HAD TO KISS AND RUN. 52 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:57,451 I LEFT SOMETHING FOR YOU IN MY CAR. 53 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,919 WHAT'S UP? 54 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,621 - NOTHING. I GOTTA GO. 55 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,456 - ALL RIGHT. - LATER. 56 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:05,626 - SO HERE'S THE SOMETHING THAT I FORGOT. 57 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,760 - OH! 58 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,362 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO. 59 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,231 I'VE ALWAYS LOVED... - [raspy] LOVE. 60 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,500 - BEETLES? - IT'S A LOVE BUG. 61 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,869 YOU KNOW, LIKE A BUG THAT BRINGS... 62 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,371 NEVER MIND. 63 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:18,406 [titters] 64 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,308 SO TONIGHT... - [giggles] 65 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,442 - I WAS THINKING, UH, PICK YOU UP AT ABOUT 7:00? 66 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,646 [fades] DOES THAT GIVE YOU ENOUGH TIME TO GET READY? 67 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,248 - [intensified giggle] 68 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,450 - I'M SORRY. - WHAT? WHY? 69 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,484 - THE BUG. IT WAS AN IMPULSE BUY. 70 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,554 I PROMISE, TONIGHT, EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER. 71 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,423 - IT'S ADORABLE. I LOVE MY BUG. 72 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,491 [locker shuts] 73 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:40,694 SO MATTY AND THAT FRESHMAN-- ARE THEY DATING? 74 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,496 - DATING? NO. 75 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,798 HE'S ABOUT TO HOOK, LINE, AND SINK HER. 76 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,301 - RIGHT. DATING IS SO NOT MATTY. 77 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,769 WHICH WASN'T ENTIRELY TRUE. 78 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:49,970 WE HAD GONE ON A DATE. 79 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,639 MAYBE HE JUST DIDN'T TELL YOU? 80 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,241 - NAH. HE'D TELL ME. 81 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,975 BESIDES, VALENTINE'S DAY IS SAPPY, 82 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,644 AND THAT KID DOES NOT DO SAPPY. 83 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,547 - I HATE SKANKS. 84 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,349 AND SENTIMENTALITY. 85 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:04,818 UGH, ALL THIS V-DAY CRAP IS MAKING ME NAUSEOUS. 86 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,420 - YOU'RE SUCH A SCROOGE. 87 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,822 - SCROOGE HATED CHRISTMAS, DIP-HOLE. 88 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,858 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SO AMPED UP ABOUT. 89 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,426 YOU'RE SINGLE. 90 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,628 - AND YOU'RE MEAN. AND SINGLE. 91 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:19,767 SO TONIGHT, I WAS THINKING WE COULD KICK OFF 92 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,903 OUR CARBS-ONLY MOVIE MARATHON WITH A CLASSIC LOVE STORY-- 93 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,339 IN YOUR HONOR-- LIKE MEAN GIRLS. 94 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,607 - AS PATHETIC AS THAT SOUNDS, 95 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,309 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA STAY HOME. 96 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,877 - BUT IT'S TRADITION. 97 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,513 - MAYBE IT'S A HEAVY FLOW DAY. I DON'T KNOW. 98 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,783 I'M JUST FEELING ESPECIALLY BITCHY TODAY. 99 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,652 - AND HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM EVERY OTHER DAY? 100 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:39,920 [class bell rings] 101 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,755 - HE GAVE YOU A COCKROACH? 102 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,657 - IT'S A LOVE BUG. 103 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,994 I SWEAR, VALENTINE'S IS TOTALLY RACIST AGAINST SINGLE PEOPLE! 104 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:50,498 - IT'S JUST A TOY THAT HE PROBABLY GOT AT THE CAR WASH. 105 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,666 - DON'T TRY TO CLIMB INTO OUR LOVE GHETTO. 106 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:53,834 YOU KNOW JAKE IS GONNA PLAN SOMETHING FANTASMIC 107 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,669 FOR YOU TONIGHT. 108 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:56,837 HE PROBABLY COMMISSIONED A PORTRAIT OF YOU GUYS 109 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,306 MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF SKITTLES. 110 00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,673 - WHO WANTS TO EAT THEIR OWN FACE? 111 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,442 - UH, I DO. 112 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,311 BUT INSTEAD I'LL BE PLANTED IN FRONT OF MY DVR 113 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,678 DOING SHOTS OF CYANIDE WITH YOU. 114 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,315 - NOT THIS YEAR. 115 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,816 I'M GOING TO THE B.H.P. 116 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:09,717 - THE BLACK HEARTS PARTY? 117 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,552 - WHAT IS THAT? 118 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,020 - ONLY THE EVENT FOR THE SINGLE AND BITTER! 119 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,323 WHAT TIME ARE WE ROLLING IN? IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO EARLY, 120 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,590 YET IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO LATE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT. 121 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,459 - T, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP THIS ONE. 122 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,793 - WHY? WHO'S MORE SINGLE AND BITTER THAN ME? 123 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,329 WELL, BESIDES TONY. 124 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,331 - TRUST ME, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO. 125 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,566 - TRUST ME, I DO. - YOU CAN'T! 126 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,036 RICKY'S GOING TO BE THERE. 127 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,371 AND HE'S IN LOVE. 128 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,005 - I CALL SHENANIGANS. 129 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,707 - PEOPLE ARE TALKING. 130 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,510 - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT RICKY SCHWARTZ. 131 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:37,945 THE ONLY TIME HE USES THE "L" WORD 132 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,513 IS FOR BURRITOS AND LESBIAN PORN. 133 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,449 BESIDES, IF HE FELL IN LOVE THAT FAST, 134 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,351 THEN I MEANT NOTHING TO HIM, 135 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,685 AND THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. JENNA, CONFIRM. 136 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,354 THIS IS WHAT EXES DO. 137 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,788 THEY MAKE UP RUMORS TO GET INTO YOUR HEAD, 138 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,424 TO SCREW WITH YOU. I'M RIGHT, RIGHT? 139 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,559 - RIGHT. 140 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:52,760 ABOUT RICKY. 141 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,695 BUT THAT RULE DOESN'T APPLY TO ALL EXES. 142 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:58,699 MATTY AND I DON'T PLAY HEAD GAMES. 143 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,401 OR DID WE? 144 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:04,738 HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THAT GIRL MATTY'S BEEN HANGING OUT WITH? 145 00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,374 - YES. - YES. 146 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,776 - DO YOU THINK SHE'S ATTRACTIVE? 147 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,379 - YES. - YES. 148 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,083 - I GUESS, IF YOU'RE INTO A LOT OF MAKEUP. 149 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,519 WHAT? I'M JUST CURIOUS 150 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,488 AS TO WHAT SHE'S HIDING UNDER ALL THAT. 151 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,055 - NOBODY LIKES A GREEN-EYED MONSTER. 152 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,757 - I'M NOT JEALOUS. 153 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,059 MY FRIENDS ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS. 154 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,928 IT'S JUST THAT THIS NEW FRIEND DOESN'T REALLY MEET 155 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,630 MY OLD FRIEND'S STANDARDS. 156 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,765 - SO THE NEW FRIEND IS SUPER RAD? 157 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:32,600 - NO. 158 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,802 - THEN WHY DO YOU SEEM SO JEALOUS? 159 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,036 - [snickers] JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SEEMS JEALOUS 160 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,505 DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE. 161 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:41,909 - ACTUALLY, IT PROBABLY DOES. 162 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,677 AND I GET IT. 163 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,979 IT IS NOT FUN TO FEEL REPLACED. 164 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,149 - IRONICALLY, VAL HAD BECOME A LOT MORE INSIGHTFUL 165 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,117 SINCE SHE LEFT THE GUIDANCE OFFICE. 166 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,585 - DON'T FEEL THREATENED. 167 00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,421 YOUR MOM AND I WERE JUST BEING BUDS 168 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,522 WHEN WE WENT OUT FOR A GIRLS NIGHT LAST WEEK. 169 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,923 - YOU HUNG OUT WITH MY MOM? 170 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,658 - REALLY, JENNA, 171 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,927 IT WAS JUST DINNER BETWEEN TWO FRIENDS. 172 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:04,064 BUT THE FEELINGS YOU'RE HAVING ARE NORMAL. 173 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,166 DON'T YOU WORRY. 174 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,868 I WILL NEVER PUT YOU IN THE BACKSEAT. 175 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,870 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU GOT PERMANENT SHOTGUN. 176 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,839 - GREAT. 177 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,941 - ONE MORE THING. 178 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,644 [candy scrapes across table] 179 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:17,878 SORRY. 180 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,447 THAT'S NOT FOR YOU. 181 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,449 SAVING THAT FOR ALOK. 182 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,816 LOST A LITTLE BIT OF THE "K." 183 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,151 BUT WE FRENCH KISS, SO HE WON'T MIND. 184 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,954 THIS ONE IS FOR YOU. 185 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,622 YOU'LL ALWAYS BE 186 00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:33,026 MY BFF-- 187 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,995 STANDS FOREVER. 188 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,168 - SO I MADE THE USUAL RESERVATION AT THE RED ONION 189 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,970 FOR OUR VALENTINE'S DINNER. 190 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,072 - HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT I HAVE A REAL DATE TONIGHT. 191 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,774 - OH, ACTUALLY IT DOESN'T LOOK 192 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,476 LIKE YOU HATED BREAKING THAT TO ME AT ALL. 193 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,678 - BET MOM'S NOT DOING ANYTHING TONIGHT. 194 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,747 TAKE HER OUT AND FINALLY HAVE A VALENTINE'S DINNER 195 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,149 WITHOUT YOUR ANNOYING KID TAGGING ALONG. 196 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,651 - NOT THIS YEAR, KIDDO. 197 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,057 - [laughs] 198 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,693 WHAT A SURPRISE! 199 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,728 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE PICKING JENNA UP TODAY. 200 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,630 IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING 201 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,032 WITH SO MUCH ON MY PLATE. 202 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,867 - LIKE WHAT? 203 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:18,238 - LIKE ALL OF MY EVENTS WITH ALL OF MY NEW FRIENDS. 204 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,073 - THE OLD FRIEND BIT. 205 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,074 SHE WAS POSTURING. 206 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,610 - HOW ABOUT YOU? 207 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,077 - NOPE. NOT MUCH TO TELL. 208 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:28,048 EXCEPT THAT OUR DAUGHTER'S HOME SAFE... 209 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,084 AND I'M GONNA GO. 210 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,185 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, LACE. 211 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,522 - YOU TOO! 212 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,794 - LOTS TO DO? LIKE WHAT? 213 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:41,995 HANG OUT WITH MY OLD GUIDANCE COUNSELOR? 214 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,964 YOU KNOW WHAT? 215 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,533 I BET THERE'S A GOOD LIFETIME MARATHON ON TONIGHT. 216 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,134 SO WHY DON'T YOU WATCH THAT 217 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,070 AND GIVE ME THE PLAY-BY-PLAY WHEN I GET HOME FROM MY DATE? 218 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:54,608 - OR YOU CAN CATCH THE END WITH ME WHEN YOU'RE HOME BY 10:00. 219 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,550 - I'M SORRY I DIDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU. 220 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,117 THIS WHOLE CURFEW THING 221 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,655 IS REALLY THROWING OFF MY TIMETABLE FOR THE NIGHT. 222 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,157 I JUST REALLY WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT. 223 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,625 - AND IT ALREADY IS. 224 00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,126 STARTING WITH THE GREAT RESTAURANT. 225 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,028 THANKS TO MY SUGGESTION. 226 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,565 - THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT. 227 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:21,001 GOOD FOOD, NOT TOO NOISY, SO WE CAN, UH-- 228 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,170 - TALK? - EXACTLY. 229 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,639 - ROSATI FOR TWO. - YEAH. 230 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:28,041 - I'VE GOT THE PERFECT TABLE. 231 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:31,044 [romantic music] 232 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:35,716 * 233 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:36,917 - THE MAITRE D' WAS WRONG. 234 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,285 AND SO WAS JAKE. 235 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,187 NOT ONLY WAS MATTY DATING, 236 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,622 HE WAS ON MY DATE. 237 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,926 WOW! THIS IS A... 238 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,161 - A COINCIDENCE. - OR A TOTAL SETUP. 239 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,830 I COULD SMELL A RAT. 240 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,165 OR WAS IT THE SCENT OF A CHEAP, FRESHMAN BARBIE? 241 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,266 - IS THERE A PROBLEM? 242 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,770 - I REQUESTED A WINDOW TABLE. 243 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:59,306 - UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE BOOKED SOLID. 244 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,675 - I GUESS WE'RE SITTING. [titters] 245 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,878 [mellow pop music] 246 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:12,319 * 247 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:17,658 - HEY, YOU GUYS HAVEN'T MET. COURTNEY. JAKE. 248 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,327 both: HI. - AND THIS IS... 249 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,962 - THE GIRL HE DEFLOWERED AT SUMMER CAMP. 250 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:22,996 - JENNA. 251 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,966 - NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS. 252 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,702 MATTY, THIS PLACE IS SO ROMANTIC. 253 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,112 OOH. 254 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:42,215 GOOD THING YOUR ASS IS SMALL. YOU ALMOST STAINED MY SKIRT. 255 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,651 - YEAH, GOOD THING. 256 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,218 AND GOOD THING I DUMPED HER DATE, 257 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,821 OR HER ASS WOULD HAVE BEEN FIRMLY PLANTED ON HER COUCH. 258 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,323 ALONE. - I'M REALLY SORRY. 259 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,159 I WAS HOPING FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE PRIVATE. 260 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,393 - IT'S FINE. 261 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,295 BECAUSE WE WERE MATURE. 262 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,697 WELL, MOST OF US. 263 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,731 - I CAN TALK TO THE HOST AGAIN. 264 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,800 - LET'S JUST FOCUS ON US. 265 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:03,003 WE WON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE HERE. 266 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:07,675 - ARE YOU GONNA USE THAT EXTRA NAPKIN? 267 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,376 THANKS. - MM. 268 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,813 [electronic music] 269 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:16,016 * 270 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,317 - TELL ME THIS. 271 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,719 IF RICKY'S SO IN LOVE, 272 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,353 WHY IS HE AT A SINGLES PARTY? 273 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,822 - THE MAFIA IS NEVER WRONG. 274 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,891 - [gasps] QUICK, ACT CROSS-FADED. 275 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,359 [laughter] 276 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:29,897 - HEY, MING. TAMARA. 'SUP? 277 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,231 - [laughs] 278 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,033 DID YOU SEE THAT? 279 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,002 HE JUST BREEZED ON BY LIKE I WAS INVISIBLE. 280 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,838 - NO, HE SAW YOU. HE SAID YOUR NAME. 281 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:41,141 - EXACTLY. MY NAME, NOT "BEAUTIFUL" OR "BABE." 282 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,310 HE IS ABSOLUTELY [bleep] WITH ME, BUT THE JOKE IS ON HIM 283 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,712 BECAUSE I DON'T CARE. 284 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,380 NOW HELP ME FIND SOMEONE TO DRY HUMP. 285 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,183 [mellow pop music] 286 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:56,289 * 287 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,792 - ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO SEND IT BACK? 288 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,293 - I CAN JUST EAT AROUND THEM. 289 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,428 - OH, NOT A GOOD IDEA. 290 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:04,364 HERE, GIVE THEM TO ME. YEAH. 291 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,366 OH, LITTLE CHICKEN THERE. 292 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,339 SHE'S ALLERGIC. 293 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,207 - YOU'RE ALLERGIC? 294 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,409 - A LITTLE. 295 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,210 I'VE MENTIONED IT BEFORE. 296 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,847 - YEAH, SHE HAS. 297 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,283 OTHERWISE, HOW WOULD I KNOW? 298 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,985 YOU GOTTA TRY THIS. 299 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,495 - MMM. [laughter] 300 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,930 - LOOK, LET ME GET YOU SOMETHING ELSE. 301 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,799 WAITER? - NO, NO, NO. 302 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,067 I'M FINE WITH BREADSTICKS. 303 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,770 SEE? AHH. 304 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,108 - OH, UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL TAKE ONE. 305 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,910 - JAKE, NO, NO, NO, DON'T WORRY, I DON'T WANT ONE. 306 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,112 - I WANT TO. - IT'S SUCH A WASTE. 307 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,015 - UNA ROSA, POR FAVOR. - [gasps, squeals] 308 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,884 - ACTUALLY, THEY ARE REALLY PRETTY. 309 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,451 - FIRST TULIPS AND NOW THIS? 310 00:11:58,485 --> 00:11:59,252 - DO YOU WANT ME TO CHASE HER DOWN? 311 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,188 I CAN DO THAT. 312 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,890 - BIZATCH. 313 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,157 NOT ONLY HAD SHE CRASHED MY PERFECT DATE, 314 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,193 BUT SHE'D ALSO SNAKED MY PERFECT FLOWERS, 315 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,162 WHICH I SUDDENLY REALIZED WERE GLARINGLY ABSENT FROM MY NIGHT. 316 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,931 - YEAH, THE ZITI'S PRETTY GOOD, 317 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,800 BUT I GOTTA BE HONEST, NOT AS GOOD AS MINE. 318 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,968 - YOU COOK? - [chuckles] 319 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,270 THAT'S HILARIOUS. - EXCUSE ME? 320 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:20,073 - YOU CAN'T EVEN COOK A POP-TART, BRO. 321 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,208 - UH, WHO MADE THAT AMAZING FRENCH TOAST LAST WEEKEND? 322 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,176 - YOUR MOM. - AFTER I SET HER UP. 323 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,312 - [laughs] THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 324 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,147 - [laughs] 325 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,816 - HAVE YOU EVER USED A WHISK? - ISN'T HE CUTE? 326 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,018 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ON A DATE WITH MATTY MCKIBBEN! 327 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,385 - EITHER WAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER-- 328 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,121 - AND NEITHER COULD I. 329 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,989 - NORMALLY, EYELINER'S REALLY FEM, 330 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:39,026 BUT YOURS MAKES ME FEEL EMO-SEXUAL. 331 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,428 [scoffs] WHATEVER, TWILIGHT. 332 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,463 CHOOSE A GENDER. 333 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,298 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY? 334 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,300 HOLY PHOTO OP. 335 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,403 I JUST REALIZED THIS IS YOUR FIRST RED CUP! 336 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,504 OR BLACK CUP. WHATEVER. 337 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,373 WE NEED TO TWEET THIS ASAP. 338 00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,243 HEY, CAN YOU PIXELIZE US? 339 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,477 - ALL RIGHT. 340 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,179 - SAY, "LOVE SUCKS." 341 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,849 both: LOVE SUCKS. 342 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:02,983 - RICKY SCHWARTZ AT 10:00. 343 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,886 I NEED SOME LIPS TO SMACK STAT. 344 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,287 - SHE'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT. 345 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,290 I'VE SUGGESTED ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY BUT... 346 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,591 I'LL JUST TAKE THAT BACK NOW. 347 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,961 - NO, THE SPAZ IS RIGHT. 348 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,029 THIS MOMENT NEEDS TO BE IMMORTALIZED. 349 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,298 I'M FRED WU, BY THE WAY. 350 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,532 - MING. 351 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,534 - WELL, MING-JUST-MING... 352 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,971 - [laughs] - SMILE. 353 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,010 - BUTTA TEETH. - BUTTA TEETH? 354 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,345 - EVERYTHING LOOKED GOOD BUT THE TEETH. 355 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,614 I AM TOTALLY SHOOTING IN THE DARK HERE. 356 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,583 WHERE ARE THE DAMN LIGHTS? 357 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,452 [music stops, all groaning] 358 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:43,123 NOBODY MOVE. 359 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:47,160 [music resumes] 360 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,597 ANISH BHATIA BY THE DOOR. EASY TARGET. 361 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,099 - NO, THEY HAD NO DEFENSE, JAKE! 362 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,034 - BUT OFFENSE IS WHAT GETS YOU IN THE PLAYOFFS. 363 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,168 - OKAY, COME HERE. - IT'S--OKAY. 364 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,204 - SEE... THIS IS YOUR OFFENSE. 365 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,606 NOTHING, LITTLE-- THEY'RE N-NOTHING. 366 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:02,575 - THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY-- 367 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,978 HEY, I'M SORRY. 368 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,413 GOING ON ABOUT SOME STUPID GAME 369 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,148 WHEN I HAVE THE REAL PRIZE RIGHT HERE. 370 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,617 - IT WAS SWEET. WE WERE SWEET. 371 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,286 AND SUDDENLY, IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT MY NIGHT HAD BEEN HIJACKED. 372 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,255 I HAD JAKE, WHO WOULD HOLD MY HAND IN PUBLIC. 373 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,058 COURTNEY WAS NEVER GONNA GET THAT FROM MATTY. 374 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,364 OKAY, SO MAYBE NOT NEVER. 375 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,199 OH! - OH. 376 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:26,934 - OH. 377 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:30,337 BUT HE WAS STILL HIDING HER. 378 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,538 RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. 379 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,509 - WAITER, WE NEED SOME ICE. 380 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,444 - HE WAS FLAUNTING THEM, 381 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,279 AND I WAS TOTALLY JEALOUS. 382 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,247 - AW, IT'S ALREADY STARTING TO SWELL. 383 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,283 - YEAH, THAT SOUNDED LIKE THAT REALLY HURT. 384 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,685 - IT'S FINE, JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. 385 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,520 - WELL, I'M GONNA GET SOME ICE. 386 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,489 - T, YOU WERE SO RIGHT. 387 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,359 I'M NO MORE EVOLVED WITH MATTY THAN YOU ARE WITH RICKY. 388 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,228 HE'S HERE ON MY DATE WITH HIS OWN DATE, 389 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,998 AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 390 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:02,502 - I PUT SOME ICE IN A NAPKIN. 391 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,037 SORRY IF THERE'S SOME DIET COKE ON IT. 392 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:07,707 - THANKS. - NO, NO, THANK YOU... 393 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,442 FOR ALL THE POINTERS. 394 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:12,312 COURTNEY SEEMS LIKE SHE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME, RIGHT? 395 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,414 - SUDDENLY, IT ALL MADE SENSE. 396 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,717 THE RESTAURANT, THE TULIPS, THE PUBLIC DISPLAY 397 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,119 OF DIGITAL CONNECTION. 398 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,487 MATTY WAS TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS. 399 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,290 - I JUST, UM-- 400 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,524 I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SCREW THINGS UP WITH HER 401 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:28,695 LIKE I DID WITH YOU. 402 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,598 - HEY, YOU OKAY? 403 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,500 - ONLY TIME WOULD TELL. 404 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,701 [dance music] 405 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,437 - [sighs] WHAT AM I DOING? 406 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,206 I HAVE SPENT MY WHOLE NIGHT TRYING TO OUT-DOUCHE A DOUCHE 407 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,208 WHO ISN'T EVEN HERE ANYMORE. 408 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,011 JEALOUSY IS NOT A GOOD COLOR ON ME. 409 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,580 AN NEITHER IS RED ON YOU. 410 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,282 - [sighs] RED? 411 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,052 - YOU'VE GOT FULL-ON BEER BLUSH HAPPENING. 412 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,488 WAIT. 413 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,091 WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING? 414 00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,392 AM I [bleep]-BLOCKING? 415 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,393 - YES. - YES. 416 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:01,594 - WELL, WRAP IT UP. 417 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,265 I GOTTA PEE, AND THEN WE'RE OUTTY 5,000. 418 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,135 OH, GOTTA PEE. EXCUSE ME, SORRY. 419 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,104 REALLY GOTTA PEE. OKAY, EXCUSE ME. 420 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,575 LOOK, I GET THAT WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE 421 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,444 DOESN'T INVOLVE THE KIND OF BODILY FUNCTIONS 422 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,578 WE ALL NEED TO PERFORM, 423 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:22,549 BUT THAT'S WHAT CARS WERE MADE FOR. 424 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,552 SERIOUSLY, I DRANK TWO BITTER PILLS AND THREE BLOODY CUPIDS, 425 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:29,222 AND I NEED TO PEE! 426 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,658 RICKY? 427 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:36,329 [liquid hitting floor] 428 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,197 - [laughs] 429 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,099 - MING! CAR, NOW! 430 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,508 - IT WAS FUN. - [laughs] BE HONEST. 431 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,343 ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN, 432 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,512 I FIGURE I'M BATTING ABOUT A NEGATIVE 60 RIGHT NOW? 433 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,748 - STOP IT. 434 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,553 IT'S FOR ME. 435 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,322 FROM MY DAD. 436 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,690 [chuckles] 437 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,292 - GUY'S GOT CRAP TASTE. 438 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:13,766 - TONIGHT WAS AMAZING. 439 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,402 AND THESE FLOWERS-- 440 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,436 WHAT ARE THEY? 441 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,738 - CALLA LILIES. 442 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:22,542 STRONG BUT BEAUTIFUL. 443 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:26,213 THEY REMINDED ME OF YOU. 444 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:27,547 - SO MUCH BETTER THAN TULIPS. 445 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,782 - TULIPS? 446 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,818 TULIPS. - [laughs] 447 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,320 - SHOULD I HAVE GOTTEN YOU TULIPS? 448 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,488 HOW MANY MORE WAYS CAN I SCREW UP THIS DAY? 449 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,590 - THE REAL QUESTION WAS, HOW MANY WAYS COULD I? 450 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,659 I ALMOST LET MY JEALOUSY RUIN THE NIGHT 451 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,862 'CAUSE JAKE NEVER ASKED MATTY TO GET INTEL ABOUT WHAT I WANTED. 452 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,498 HE DIDN'T HAVE TO. HE JUST KNEW. 453 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,467 YOU DIDN'T SCREW UP ANYTHING. - NO, I DID. 454 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,868 I'VE BEEN A NERVOUS WRECK ALL DAY 455 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,570 AND BOTCHING EVERYTHING BECAUSE... 456 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,705 - THIS WAS THE BEST DATE EVER. - I LOVE YOU, JENNA. 457 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,575 - WHAT? 458 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:56,743 - I LOVE YOU. 459 00:17:56,776 --> 00:18:00,213 [upbeat music] 460 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:08,188 * 461 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,560 - AWESOME. 462 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,462 - YEAH. 463 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,797 UM... 464 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,233 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 465 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,542 - YOU'RE LATE. 466 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,778 AND DON'T EVEN BOTHER SHOWING ME WHAT HE GAVE YOU. 467 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,513 I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT. 468 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,348 - I COULD HAVE AND MAYBE SHOULD HAVE 469 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:36,849 RUBBED MY V-DAY BOOTY 470 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,419 IN MY MOTHER'S FACE, BUT I WASN'T HEARTLESS. 471 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,222 ACTUALLY, THIS WAS AT THE DOOR FOR YOU. 472 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,890 IT'S FROM DAD. 473 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,258 - REALLY? 474 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,194 - GOOD NIGHT, MOM. 475 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:50,363 [laid-back rock music] 476 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,764 * 477 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,632 - WHAT IS IT? 478 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:56,236 - A BEETLE. 479 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,937 - [raspy] LOVE. 480 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,642 - [crying] 481 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,515 - JENNA. - T, WHAT ARE YOU-- 482 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,451 - RICKY'S IN LOVE... WITH SADIE. 483 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,320 AM I REALLY SO HIDEOUS THAT 484 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,722 HE'D CHOOSE DARTH HATER OVER ME? - WHAT? 485 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:16,723 SCREW RICKY SCHWARTZ. 486 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,225 - BUT RICKY IS-- 487 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,326 - NO BUTS. YOU'RE AMAZING. 488 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,860 IF HE WANTS TO BE WITH SADIE, LET HIM. 489 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,795 THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER. 490 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,797 - IT'S JUST REALLY HARD WHEN SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT 491 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,633 MOVES ON BEFORE YOU DO. 492 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,235 - IT WAS. 493 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,569 I HAD MOVED ON WITH JAKE, 494 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,338 SO WHY SHOULDN'T MATTY MOVE ON TOO? 495 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,905 - WHAT IF NOBODY EVER LOVES ME? 496 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,408 - HEY, I LOVE YOU. 497 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:38,811 - YEAH, BUT NOBODY GOOD LOVES ME. 498 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,281 [laughter] 499 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:44,284 - T, WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY PANTS? 500 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,853 - I PEED IN MINE. 501 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,556 [laughter] 502 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,829 NEXT ON AWKWARD 503 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:57,930 ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH JAKE? 504 00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:58,831 - IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T FEEL SOMETHING, 505 00:19:58,865 --> 00:19:59,832 IT'S JUST THAT I'M NOT SURE I FEEL IT. 506 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,402 - WHEN DID YOU GUYS HAVE SEX? - WE HAVEN'T. 507 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,703 - THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SAY I LOVE YOU BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX. 508 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,004 - COME ON, MAN. THERE ISN'T AN ORDER. 509 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,773 - WE KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MATTY, 510 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,276 BUT WHEN DID YOU KNOW? - AFTER WE HAD SEX. 511 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,577 - OKAY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE. 512 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,644 THEN YOU'LL KNOW. 513 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,413 - I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE SEX. 514 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,714 [all gasp] - OH. 35641

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