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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,004 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,306 - YOU'RE LIKE A PUPPY. 3 00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:06,807 - I DON'T THINK THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. 4 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,143 - YOU NEVER WANT TO BE SEEN WITH ME. 5 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:13,547 - YOU DON'T REMEMBER? 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,150 - I WOULDN'T NEVER WILLINGLY MAKE OUT WITH RICKY SCHWARTZ! 7 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:19,953 - I'M SO GLAD I WROTE YOU THAT LETTER! 8 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:22,156 [alarm clock plays rock music] 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,857 - THERE WERE A MILLION REASONS 10 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,360 WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO GET OUT OF BED. 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,996 BUT APPARENTLY THE UNIVERSE WASN'T GOING TO LET ME SLEEP. 12 00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,334 [music changes to soft rock] 13 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,603 AFTER THROWING A HARDSCHOOL KEGGER, 14 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,471 I HAD OVER 300 FRIENDS. 15 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,141 BUT I WASN'T DELUDED BY MY SURGE IN POPULARITY. 16 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:42,009 I KNEW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL FRIENDS 17 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,611 AND VIRTUAL ONES. 18 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,679 MY REAL FRIENDS WEREN'T TALKING TO ME. 19 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:46,747 ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, 20 00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,350 MING COULDN'T. LITERALLY. 21 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,685 WHILE MING WAS SUFFERING FROM THE KISSING DISEASE, 22 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,354 I WAS SICK OVER A KISS. 23 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,455 A DRUNKEN LIP SLIP 24 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,824 THAT HAD COST ME TAMARA'S FRIENDSHIP. 25 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,627 AFTER ALIENATING MATTY AND POSSIBLY JAKE, 26 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,530 MY FRIENDSCAPE WAS PRETTY BARREN. 27 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:05,233 BUT MAKING NEW FRIENDS WASN'T GOING TO BE A PROBLEM. 28 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,835 I HAD THE INTERWEB! 29 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,138 - HEY! - HEY. 30 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,472 WHAT'S GOING ON? 31 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,374 - WELL, I JUST GOT CANNED FROM MY JOB 32 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:15,809 'CAUSE I SCREWED UP THIS ORDER BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT. 33 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,511 I WAS STILL DRUNK FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. 34 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:20,414 'CAUSE MY EX JUST GOT MARRIED TO MY BEST FRIEND. 35 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,615 ANYWAY, I'VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME 36 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,384 ON THE COMPUTER LATELY. 37 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,154 WANT TO SEE MY PENIS? 38 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,988 - IF MY LIFE HAD AN ESCAPE BUTTON, 39 00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:29,957 I WOULD'VE CHECKED OUT FOR THE DAY. 40 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,959 THERE WAS ONLY ONE SMALL PROBLEM. 41 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,461 - MAKE A WISH! 42 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,264 - IT WAS MY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. 43 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,507 - MAN, I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 16. 44 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,177 - AND YOU KNOCKED UP MOM? 45 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,879 YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO TELL ME IT HAPPENED IN A CAR, ARE YOU? 46 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,514 - NOT THIS CAR. 47 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,682 - PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING. 48 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:58,652 - I AM. 49 00:01:58,652 --> 00:01:59,920 - MY LUCKY SOCKS. 50 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,522 - I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D BE TOO OLD FOR THEM. 51 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:04,024 - HELL NO. 52 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,360 I REALLY NEED THEM. 53 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,895 - OKAY, REMEMBER TO CHECK YOUR MIRRORS 54 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:10,364 AND DON'T LET ANYTHING DISTRACT YOU. 55 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,499 ESPECIALLY CYCLISTS. 56 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,468 SPANDEX BASTARDS THINK THEY OWN THE ROAD. 57 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,304 - THE UPSIDE OF BEING DEPRESSED? 58 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,738 I WAS COMPLETELY CALM. 59 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:22,210 NOTHING WAS GOING TO DISTRACT ME. 60 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,944 - OKAY, GO AHEAD, MS. HAMILTON. 61 00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,113 CHECK YOUR LEFT MIRROR. 62 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,349 AND YOUR REARVIEW MIRROR. 63 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,950 AND DON'T FORGET, CHECK THE RIGHT MIRROR. 64 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,219 - NO, I GOT IT. GOT IT. 65 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,221 I JUST-- 66 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,222 OH! 67 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,690 [crashing] 68 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:37,991 - DON'T WORRY. 69 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,294 IT TOOK YOUR MOM A COUPLE OF TIMES TO PASS, TOO. 70 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,429 - IT WASN'T MY FAULT. 71 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:42,796 THE DUDE HAD HOOK HANDS. 72 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,299 - SO YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR LICENSE. 73 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,434 WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? 74 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,436 - I WANT TO SPEND THE DAY WITH YOU. 75 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,538 - YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL. 76 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,440 - AND THERE'S THAT. [sighs] 77 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,775 - I'D LOVE TO, BUT I HAVE MEETINGS ALL DAY. 78 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:59,247 - ALL RIGHT. 79 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,348 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 80 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,516 - THERE WAS NOTHING HAPPY ABOUT IT. 81 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,252 IT WAS JUST ANOTHER CRAP DAY 82 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,253 IN 2000-SUCK. 83 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,754 - AND GOOD LUCK WITH TAMARA! 84 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,722 [bell ringing] 85 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,391 - DO YOU THINK POLYESTER IS SEE-THROUGH? 86 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,260 I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING GOING SANS BRA 87 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,327 FOR THE BIG GAME TONIGHT. 88 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,128 - TRYING TO MAKE THE SCHWARTZMAN JEALOUS? 89 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,530 - NEGS ON THAT! 90 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,631 THE ONLY REASON I WENT 91 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:18,932 TITS-OUT AT PRACTICE YESTERDAY 92 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,668 IS BECAUSE MY BRA MALFUNCTIONED. 93 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,537 I FELT SO FREE, AND MY FLUTE PLAYING WAS PFM. 94 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,406 - IT WAS PURE, FREAKING MAGIC. 95 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,974 YOU SHOULD LOSE THE GRUNDIES ALL TOGETHER. 96 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,576 JONAH S. IS A FREEBALLER, 97 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:33,180 AND HIS PROTEIN BOOST TOTALLY HAS A CINNAMON THING GOING ON. 98 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,015 THOUGH IT COULD BE 'CAUSE HE'S ON TENOR SAX, 99 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:39,019 ALL THAT BRASS SO CLOSE TO HIS JUNK. 100 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,153 [bell ringing] 101 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,322 IT'S JENNA'S BIRTHDAY, EH? 102 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,324 GET HER ANYTHING, OR IS SHE STILL SEQUESTERED 103 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,558 TO THE KISS AND CRY ZONE? 104 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,127 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 105 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:49,430 - AFTER AVOIDING ME FOR DAYS, 106 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,399 TAMARA LOOKED RIGHT AT ME. 107 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:54,535 LIKE, SHE WAS TOTALLY OPEN TO MY FACEMAIL. 108 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,036 MY DAD WAS RIGHT. 109 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,205 SHE WAS THROWING ME A BIRTHDAY BONE. 110 00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,308 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 111 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:03,777 - ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. 112 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,583 [eerie music] 113 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,685 WELL, AT LEAST I HAD SOME FRIENDS. 114 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:12,986 BEGGARS COULDN'T BE CHOOSERS. 115 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:13,987 THANKS, KYLE. 116 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,923 - I DIDN'T DO THAT. 117 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,024 - UGH. 118 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:20,528 CRAP, NOW I'M OUT A HUNDRED BUCKS. 119 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,330 THERE WAS A DEAD POOL ON YOU 120 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,333 AND I BET YOU WOULDN'T MAKE IT TO 16. 121 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:29,136 - THERE HAD TO BE SOME WAY TO GET OFF THE DEMON HELL RIDE. 122 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,004 THE NURSE ISN'T IN AND I'M NOT FEELING SO HOT, 123 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,442 SO CAN YOU WRITE ME A NOTE TO GO HOME? 124 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,644 - YOU DON'T HAVE A FEVER, 125 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,912 SO EITHER YOU HAVE INTERNAL INJURIES 126 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,415 OR YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL ONE OVER ON ME 127 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,551 'CAUSE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! 128 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,952 I'M ON TO YOU, J. 129 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,154 NOW, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE GIFTS, 130 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:50,824 BUT YOU AND I HAVE SURPASSED THE WHOLE TEACHER-STUDENT THING. 131 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:51,859 GO AHEAD. 132 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:55,228 - THANKS. 133 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,998 - OH, WHAT'S HAPPENIN', HOT STUFF? 134 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,132 - I'M SORRY, WHAT? 135 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,501 - OH, I'M NOT BEING PERVY, 136 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,371 I WAS QUOTING LONG DUK DONG FROM SIXTEEN CANDLES. 137 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,538 IT'S ABOUT THIS GIRL ON HER 16TH BIRTHDAY 138 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,507 BUT EVERYONE FORGETS ABOUT IT. 139 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,709 IT WAS FABULOUS. 140 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,143 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU. 141 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,579 ANY PLANS? 142 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:14,114 - NONE EXCEPT FOR TO GO HOME AFTER YOU WRITE ME THAT NOTE. 143 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,716 - WHY DON'T YOU STICK AROUND HERE SO YOU CAN CELEBRATE 144 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,284 WITH YOUR AMIGOS? 145 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,387 - THAT'D BE GREAT BUT MY AMIGOS AREN'T TALKING TO ME. 146 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,889 - SO WHAT I'M HEARING IS THAT YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE, 147 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,425 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO CELEBRATE WITH. 148 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:27,294 - WHAT I'M SAYING IS I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, 149 00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,830 SO THE BEST GIFT YOU COULD GIVE ME IS A NOTE HOME. 150 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,401 - "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! THEY FORGOT MY F-ING BIRTHDAY!" 151 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,968 [laughs] 152 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,404 I WAS QUOTING MOLLY RINGWALD. 153 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:39,172 SHE GAVE UP. DON'T YOU GIVE UP. 154 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,441 THAT WAS ME QUOTING MYSELF. 155 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,410 [telephone rings] 156 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,449 - I USED TO FEEL BAD FOR DAVID SHAPIRO. 157 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,451 EATING BY HIMSELF EVERY DAY. 158 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:55,589 UNTIL I FOUND OUT HE WASN'T REALLY EATING ALONE. 159 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,558 HE HAD IMAGINARY FRIENDS, 160 00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:02,095 WHICH THEORETICALLY WAS LIKE, SIX TO TEN MORE THAT I HAD. 161 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,831 - HELLO, LADIES. 162 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:04,932 - LOOK AT RICKY SCHWARTZ WALKING AROUND 163 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,435 LIKE HE'S THE BOMB DOT-COM. 164 00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,302 I MEAN, SURE HE'S TOTALLY H-2-T GORGE', 165 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,539 BUT MY DEAD GRANDMA CAN PLAY CLARINET BETTER THAN HIM. 166 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,441 - YOU GUYS ARE LIKE CHARLIE'S ANGELS. 167 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,208 - HE CLAIMS HIS PLAYING SUFFERS 168 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,277 BECAUSE HE GETS LIKE, 27 HARDIES A DAY. 169 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,448 BUT I'M ALWAYS ON ZIPPER PATROL. AND IF THAT'S TRUE, 170 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,716 THERE'S DEFINITELY SOME "LITTLE PENIS, BIG WORLD" ACTION 171 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,984 GOING ON DOWN THERE. 172 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,153 - I CAN'T BELIEVE I WASTED A YEAR OF MY LIFE 173 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,655 CRUSHING OUT ON THAT JERK 174 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:30,491 WHEN I COULD'VE BEEN FANTASIZING ABOUT JAKE GYLLENHALL. 175 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:33,661 CIRCA 2008. 176 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,463 [cell phone chimes] 177 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,997 [gasps] 178 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,668 - WHAT, SO, YOU FORGIVE HIM, BUT YOU WON'T FORGIVE JENNA? 179 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,470 - RICKY AND I WERE NEVER EXCLUSIVE. 180 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,472 JENNA AND I WERE FRIENDS FOR SEVEN YEARS. 181 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:47,575 I SHOWED HER HOW TO USE A TAMPON. 182 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,876 - OH... 183 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:53,146 YOU'RE BLOOD SISTERS. 184 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,682 - HEY, LOSER. 185 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,316 WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE BY YOURSELF? 186 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,384 - BEING A LOSER. 187 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,486 - YOU GOING TO THE GAME LATER? 188 00:06:58,486 --> 00:06:59,687 - WHAT GAME? 189 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:00,988 - THE REGIONAL PLAYOFFS? 190 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:03,156 IT'S THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE SEASON. 191 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,593 - OH, I'M NOT MUCH OF A FOOTBALL PERSON. 192 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,160 IT IS FOOTBALL, RIGHT? 193 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,096 - YEAH. 194 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,898 WHY DON'T YOU COME SIT WITH US? 195 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,866 - I HAD BEEN SO DESTROYED OVER THE TAMARA SITCH, 196 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:16,403 I DIDN'T DARE LET MYSELF THINK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WITH MATTY. 197 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,171 BUT SEEING HIM IN THE FLESH MADE ME REALIZE 198 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,874 I NEEDED TO SET MY PAIN BAR A LITTLE HIGHER. 199 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,876 I'M TRYING TO KEEP A LOW-PRO TODAY. 200 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,211 - YEAH. 201 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,014 - [through megaphone] JENNA HAMILTON, WHERE ARE YOU? 202 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,982 WHERE'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL? 203 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,918 I KNOW YOU'RE HERE. 204 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,720 - I DIDN'T GIVE A [bleep] IF I SET OFF THE ALARM. 205 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,122 IT WAS A REAL EMERGENCY. 206 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,524 - WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? 207 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,391 JENNA HAMILTON IS RIGHT HERE. 208 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,195 JENNA HAMILTON IS RIGHT HERE. 209 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,798 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENNA. 210 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,967 - UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT, THE RUMORS OF MY DEATH WISH 211 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,637 HAD BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED. 212 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,141 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRLFRIEND. 213 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,610 YO, YO, YO, YO, YO. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT. 214 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,246 * LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY GIRL * 215 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,748 - WHOO! 216 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,183 - * BUT DON'T EAT TOO MUCH CAKE THAT YOU WANNA HURL * 217 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,118 * YOU SAY YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY THE GAME * 218 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,955 * JUST DROP IT DOWN, SISTER, AND BLOW OUT THE FLAME * 219 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,323 * 'FORE YOU MAKE A WISH, NO, I AIN'T NO MAGIC FAIRY * 220 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,825 * I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR CAKE * 221 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,627 * 'CAUSE IT'S FILLED WITH STRAWBERRY, YO * 222 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:17,865 [cheers and applause] 223 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,967 I JUST WANT TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO SAY... 224 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,268 - YOU'RE STILL ON MIC, YOU'RE STILL ON MIC. 225 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:25,072 - JENNA HAMILTON, I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 226 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,473 - THAT MADE ONE OF US. 227 00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:29,643 ALL I WANTED WAS TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST. 228 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,111 AND I HAD HOPED BEING NEAR AN OPEN FLAME 229 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,580 WOULD HELP SPEED UP THE PROCESS. 230 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:38,318 - OH, I FORGOT THE PLATES. 231 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:41,154 I'M GOING TO HOLD ON TO THIS. 232 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,355 - WELL, UH, I GOTTA GO, 233 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,026 BUT YOU GUYS CAN HELP YOURSELVES. 234 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,096 I WANTED TO LEAVE, BUT I COULDN'T. 235 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,398 I HAD JUST RECEIVED ANOTHER GIFT... 236 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,634 OF THE MONTHLY VARIETY. 237 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,303 AND SINCE TAMARA WAS THE KEEPER OF THE BACKUP PANTS, 238 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,205 THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GETTING MY HANDS ON THEM. 239 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,740 [bell ringing] 240 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,341 WELL, HOW LONG IS A LITTLE WHILE? 241 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:05,512 - HONEY, DON'T FORCE ME TO PUT A TIME LIMIT ON THIS. 242 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,780 I'M HAVING THE CARPETS CLEANED. 243 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,616 IT-IT'LL BE DONE WHEN IT'S DONE. 244 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,150 - OKAY, WELL, COME PICK ME UP, 245 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,853 AND I'LL HANG OUT ON THE NON-CARPETED AREAS. 246 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:16,456 - YOU CAN'T. IT'S TOO...FUMEY. [coughs] 247 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,827 I JUST DON'T WANT YOU BREATHING IN ALL OF THESE TOXINS. 248 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,261 IT WILL STUNT YOUR GROWTH. 249 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,630 - MOM, I'M 16. 250 00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,531 I THINK I'M KINDA DONE GROWING. 251 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,634 - WELL, THAT IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE. 252 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:30,037 MY FEET GREW 2 SIZES AFTER I TURNED 20. 253 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,705 AS DID MY BOOBS. 254 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:32,706 - YEAH, BUT YOU PAID FOR THAT. 255 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,107 - FIND SOMETHING TO OCCUPY YOURSELF. 256 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,043 I'LL BE THERE IN A LITTLE WHILE. 257 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,510 [keypad tone] 258 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:48,055 [crowd cheering, marching band plays] 259 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,157 - MY KNOWLEDGE OF FOOTBALL: ZERO-POINT-ZILCH. 260 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,759 BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING COMFORTING ABOUT 261 00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,827 DISAPPEARING INTO A SEA OF PEOPLE. 262 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,663 - HELLO, JENNA! COME SIT BY ME. 263 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,898 - JENNA, OVER HERE! 264 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,168 - UM, AH, I'M-I'M WITH A FRIEND. 265 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:05,138 - OH. IT'S COOL. 266 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,239 YEAH! 267 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,641 - HEY, I THOUGHT YOU HATED FOOTBALL. 268 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,711 - I DO, BUT I DIDN'T WANNA WASTE THIS AWESOME OUTFIT. 269 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,913 - THAT IT IS. NICE SOCKS. 270 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:16,616 - I HAD TO ADMIT, IT WAS NICE HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO... 271 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,652 WHO WOULD ACTUALLY TALK TO ME BACK. 272 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:22,089 - THAT'S WEIRD. JENNA HATES FOOTBALL. 273 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,992 [crowd groans] 274 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:27,661 RICKY SCHWARTZ IS A TOTAL PRICK. 275 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,562 - HE JUST GAVE ME DOUCHE CHILLS. 276 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,365 - I HAVE BEEN UNDER HIS SPELL FOR FAR TOO LONG. 277 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:37,270 I HAVE TO ESCAPE FROM SCHWARTZ MOUNTAIN. 278 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,338 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 279 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,274 POST-GAME, THE SANCTUARY IS A SEX PALACE. 280 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,310 - THERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY GAME 281 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:48,581 WHERE YOU HAVE TO CALL THE FAKE KNEEL-DOWN. 282 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,250 [crowd groans] 283 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,685 - WHY DOESN'T THE KICKER JUST TURN AROUND 284 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,920 AND KICK IT TO OUR TEAM? 285 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,354 - WE COULD DO AN ON-SIDE KICK, 286 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,890 BUT THE BALL HAS TO TRAVEL FORWARD TEN YARDS 287 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,225 BEFORE WE CAN RECOVER IT. 288 00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,993 OTHERWISE, IT'S A PENALTY FOR ILLEGAL TOUCHING. 289 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,996 - OH. BORED. 290 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,298 - HEY, WE'RE OVER HERE! 291 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,904 - EVEN THOUGH I HAD APOLOGIZED, 292 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,207 MATTY WAS STILL TREATING ME LIKE AN A-HOLE, 293 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,776 AND I DEFINITELY LOOKED THE PART. 294 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,545 - OH, YOU MISSED HALF THE GAME. 295 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,546 - HI. 296 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:22,382 - HEY. 297 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,117 - * CALIFORNIA GRAPEFRUIT, TEXAS CACTUS * 298 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,219 * WE PLAY YOUR TEAM * 299 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,956 * JUST FOR PRACTICE * 300 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,624 - GO SADIE! 301 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,365 - SOMEBODY LET HAMILTON OUT OF HER CAGE. 302 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,632 THIS IS A BAD OMEN. 303 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,469 WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO LOSE THIS GAME. 304 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,071 - OH, NICE! 305 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,339 DUNPHY'S SERIOUSLY ONE OF THE BEST QUARTERBACKS WE'VE HAD. 306 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,809 I MEAN, HE'S NOT AS ACCURATE AS JAMIE. 307 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,878 THAT'S WHAT MADE YOUR BRO ALL-STATE, BUT... 308 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,012 HE'S GOT A STRONG ARM. 309 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,080 - YUP. 310 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,348 - HOW IS JAMIE? STILL KICKING YOUR ASS? 311 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,250 - [chuckles] YEAH. 312 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,619 AND HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE. 313 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,856 - NO WONDER MATTY WAS TREATING ME LIKE A LEPER. 314 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,258 APPARENTLY, I'D REALLY HIT A NERVE WHEN I GAVE HIM 315 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,994 A HARD TIME AT MY PARTY. 316 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:11,064 MAYBE I DESERVED TO SPEND MY BIRTHDAY ALONE. 317 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,933 I HAVE TO GO. 318 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,180 - JENNA! WAIT, JENNA! 319 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,916 JENNA, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING YOU OUT 320 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,884 IN THE CAF. 321 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,985 HONESTLY, I-I DIDN'T THINK 322 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:36,189 YOU'D WANT TO MISS YOUR CAKE. 323 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,825 LISTEN, YOU TRANSPARENT SOCIAL CLIMBER. 324 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,827 JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE YOUR OWN FRIENDS 325 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,830 DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SNAKE MINE. 326 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,899 THE ONLY REASON MATTY AND JAKE CAN STAND BEING AROUND YOU 327 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,001 IS BECAUSE THEY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. 328 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,502 I MEAN...LOOK AT YOU. 329 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:52,072 YOU'RE LIKE SOMETHING A DESPERATE CELEBRITY WOULD ADOPT 330 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,842 FROM A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY. 331 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:58,078 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. CHEERS! 332 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,279 SORRY. 333 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,949 - HAVING BEEN EMOTIONALLY RAPED BY THE DAY, 334 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,751 I WAS NUMB TO SADIE'S HARSH WORDS. 335 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:07,520 OR MAYBE IT WAS THE CRUSHED ICE MELTING IN MY BRA. 336 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,323 [crowd cheering] 337 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,493 - IT'S HER BIRTHDAY. 338 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,896 YOU'RE WELCOME. 339 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:23,470 [crowd laughing] 340 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,911 - HEY MOM, IT'S ME. 341 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,546 OKAY, CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS OR JUST COME PICK ME UP. 342 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:37,484 IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, I AM CALLING FROM HELL. 343 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,053 - HEY, NICE MOVES, HAMILTON. WHERE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? 344 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,421 - HE'S PICKING ME UP IN HIS CHARIOT. 345 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,589 - [chuckles] 346 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,992 YOU, UH--YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE AFTER PARTY? 347 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,094 - IT'S A PRIVATE PARTY. 348 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,795 - I'M COOL. 349 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,898 - MATTY'S NOT GOING EITHER, SO HE COULD GIVE YOU A RIDE. 350 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,632 - THAT'S OKAY. MY MOM SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 351 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,134 - NAH, MCKIBBEN, TAKE THE GIRL HOME. 352 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,569 - BUTT OUT, ROSATI. 353 00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,439 SHE SAID SHE WANTS TO WAIT FOR HER MOMMY. 354 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,142 DID YOU FAIL YOUR DRIVER'S TEST? 355 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,077 - I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE. 356 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,486 - SO JUST STAY STRAIGHT UP HERE. 357 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,188 - YEAH, I GOT IT. - AND THEN JUST TAKE A-- 358 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:19,726 - I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. 359 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,094 - SO... 360 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,196 I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID TO YOU AT MY PARTY. 361 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,431 I DIDN'T MEAN IT, OKAY? 362 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:25,432 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME. 363 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,936 - IT'S OKAY. YOU WERE RIGHT. 364 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,770 I MEAN, I DON'T THINK I'M TOO GOOD FOR YOU, 365 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,807 BUT I DO CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. 366 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,443 - EVERYBODY DOES. 367 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,545 - THAT'S THE THING, JENNA. YOU DON'T. 368 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,681 THAT'S WHY IT BUMMED ME OUT BECAUSE... 369 00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:42,950 YOU SAID IT. 370 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,952 IT KILLS ME THAT YOU THINK OF ME THAT WAY. 371 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,187 - I DON'T. 372 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,489 I KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. 373 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,757 - CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? 374 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,759 - YEAH. 375 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,127 - WHAT'S UP WITH THOSE SOCKS? 376 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,162 [laughs] 377 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:56,964 - CLOWN COLLEGE. - UH-HUH. 378 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:57,965 - I GO AT NIGHT. 379 00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,633 - SERIOUSLY? 380 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,270 - I PUT THEM ON THIS MORNING FOR GOOD LUCK, 381 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,973 AND NOW I AM CONVINCED THEY'RE CURSED. 382 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,507 - THEN HAND THEM OVER. 383 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,243 COME ON. 384 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,513 IT'S ABOUT TIME. 385 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,650 NO MORE BAD LUCK. 386 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:27,294 - SO YOU AND ME, WE'RE COOL? 387 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,362 - YEAH, WE'RE GOOD. 388 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:32,099 - FRIENDS? 389 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,067 - TOTALLY. 390 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,368 - MY FIRST BIRTHDAY WISH HAD COME BACK 391 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,270 TO BITE ME IN THE ASS. 392 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,505 WHEN I ASKED FOR MY FRIENDS BACK, 393 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:41,241 I SHOULD HAVE SPECIFIED I WANTED MATTY BACK 394 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,875 AS THE BOYFRIEND VARIETY. 395 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,011 THANKS FOR THE RIDE. 396 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:47,247 - NO PROBLEM. 397 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,282 - OKAY. 398 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,898 - KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED. 399 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,100 SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU STRANDED, 400 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,635 BUT YOU WILL FORGIVE ME 401 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:13,106 WHEN YOU SEE WHAT YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT IS. 402 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:17,810 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 403 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,112 ISN'T IT PERFECT? 404 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,413 - YUP. 405 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,814 PERFECT... 406 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,850 FOR ENTERTAINING CLIENTS AS A HIGHLY PAID ESCORT. 407 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,518 - OKAY, CHECK THIS OUT. 408 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,787 SUNNY. 409 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,356 SULTRY. 410 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:30,357 - OH. 411 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,293 - SORDID. [giggles] 412 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,827 COOL, HUH? 413 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,828 I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT TIME 414 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,099 THAT YOU HAD A GROWN-UP BEDROOM. 415 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,367 OH, AND THERE'S ONE MORE SPECIAL FEATURE. 416 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,668 - OH. - COME ON. 417 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:46,306 NOW, LIE BACK. [squeals] 418 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,375 [laughs] 419 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,910 WANNA KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT HAVING A MIRROR 420 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,179 ON YOUR CEILING? 421 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,314 - I CAN'T IMAGINE. 422 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,483 - YOU CAN DO YOUR MAKEUP IN BED. 423 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,552 [gasps] OH. 424 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:04,991 WHEN I WAS 16, I WOULD HAVE KILLED FOR A BEDROOM LIKE THIS. 425 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:08,361 - THANKS, MOM. 426 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,530 - OH. 427 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,367 IS THAT WHAT YOU WORE ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY? 428 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,304 - THERE IT WAS. MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY INSULT. 429 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,307 MY DAY WAS COMPLETE. 430 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,541 WHERE'S MY STUFF? 431 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,776 - I PUT IT IN THAT BOX. 432 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:27,147 NOW, I AM GONNA TO LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE 433 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,881 TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 434 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,917 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 435 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,120 - 16 YEARS ON THE PLANET, 436 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,556 AND ALL I HAD TO SHOW FOR IT WAS ONE BOX. 437 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,559 IT WAS TIME FOR A VIRTUAL ESCAPE. 438 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,396 STRAIGHT UP PG. SCANDALOUS. 439 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,770 - HEY, SEXY. 440 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:51,771 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 441 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:52,939 - YOU ARE MY PROBLEM. 442 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,907 I'VE BEEN RAGING AGAINST MY BEST FRIEND, 443 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:55,942 AND LETTING YOU OFF THE HOOK 444 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,444 WHEN YOU'RE JUST AS GUILTY. 445 00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:00,347 SO, STOP FLIRTING WITH ME, STOP TEXTING ME, 446 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:01,848 DON'T EVER LOOK AT ME AGAIN 447 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,016 UNLESS YOU'RE WAITING FOR A FLUTE CUE FROM MR. ROBOTO. 448 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,518 I DON'T WANT YOUR SKINNY ASS 449 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,154 IN MY LIFE ANYMORE, RICKY SCHWARTZ! 450 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:12,459 THIS FLIRTATIONSHIP IS OVER. GAME OVER. 451 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,428 - YOU'RE SO HOT RIGHT NOW. 452 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,174 - [sobbing] AWESOME. 453 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,175 IT TOOK HER AWHILE, 454 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,976 BUT MOLLY RINGWALD FIGURED IT OUT. 455 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,978 LESSON LEARNED. 456 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,380 YOU SHOULDN'T BE AFRAID TO BE WHO YOU ARE 457 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,081 BECAUSE EVEN HOT GUYS WILL LIKE YOU 458 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,350 IF YOU LIKE YOURSELF. 459 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,287 CLEARLY, I HAD BEEN GOING ABOUT THINGS ALL WRONG. 460 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,955 HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE ACCEPTED BY EVERYBODY ELSE 461 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,025 WHEN I HADN'T EVEN ACCEPTED MYSELF? 462 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,765 "JENNA, AS YOU ARE NOW, YOU COULD DISAPPEAR, 463 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,501 AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE." 464 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:58,305 TRUTH WAS SOMETIMES I WANTED TO DISAPPEAR. 465 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:03,910 BUT I WASN'T GOING TO. 466 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,645 I THOUGHT 16 WAS SETTING ITSELF UP 467 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,914 TO BE THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE. 468 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,383 BUT I WAS BORN ON 7:32 P.M., 469 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:13,586 WHICH MEANT I WAS STILL 15. 470 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,723 [knocking on door] 471 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:34,040 - I FORGOT SOMETHING. 472 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,844 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 473 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,415 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ROOM? 474 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,383 - [chuckles] 475 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,085 MY MOTHER. 476 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:51,157 IT GETS BETTER. 477 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,025 - YOUR MOM DID THIS? 478 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,829 - DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE I CAN'T. 479 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,369 - I LIED TO YOU IN THE CAR. 480 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:11,978 I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS. 481 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:15,348 I WANT TO BE MORE. 482 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,323 - AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED, 15 COULD SUCK IT. 483 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:27,694 BECAUSE 16...WELL, IT WAS STARTING OFF PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 484 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,339 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 485 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:40,340 - WERE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL ME YOU KISSED MY BEST FRIEND? 486 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,374 - I DIDN'T KISS JAKE. 487 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,975 HE PRACTICALLY WALKED INTO MY FACE. 488 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,477 - WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? 489 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,012 - HE'S GROOMING YOU IN PRIVATE SO HE CAN TAKE YOU PUBLIC. 490 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,047 - HE MUST THINK I'M READY BECAUSE WE'RE GOING OUT TONIGHT. 491 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,282 IN PUBLIC. 492 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:50,917 - I DON'T CARE HOW MANY FRO YOS HE BUYS YOU, 493 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,852 JAKE CAN'T BE TRUSTED. 494 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,887 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 34926

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