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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,072 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:05,473 - JENNA, I LIKE YOU. 3 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,008 I'M JUST NOT SURE I'M READY TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,111 - EVERYONE THINKS I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF, 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,379 AND THERE'S A LAME GUY SELLING T-SHIRTS, 6 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,181 KEEPING THE STUPID STORY ALIVE. 7 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,416 - I KISSED JENNA HAMILTON. - WHAT? 8 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:22,390 - THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A VERY, UH, IMPORTANT DAY FOR THE SCHOOL. 9 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,559 - IN HIGH SCHOOL, ATTENTION WAS A DRUG. 10 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,461 EVERYONE WAS JONESING FOR IT. 11 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,729 - I'M JUST GONNA SHUT UP... 12 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:32,700 - INCLUDING PRINCIPAL COX. - SO YOU CAN ALL TALK. 13 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,169 OKAY, UM, 14 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:38,472 NOW, TO TELL YOU MORE ABOUT DRUNK DRIVING AWARENESS DAY, 15 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:39,940 MRS. MARKS. 16 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,643 - [claps] 17 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,748 - CHECK, ONE, TWO. 18 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,417 PAH, PAH. [feedback whines] 19 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,951 HOT MIC. [clears throat] 20 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:54,722 THIS YEAR, OUR ANNUAL PLAY TO RAISE DRUNK DRIVING AWARENESS 21 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,925 IS GONNA BE DRIVEN INTO THE MILLENNIA. 22 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:01,195 EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO CRASH'D! 23 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:05,633 SAME CHARACTERS, SAME STORY, NEW FLAVA. 24 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,769 IT STANDS FOR COUNSELORS, ME, 25 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,140 RAISING AWARENESS FOR STUDENTS, 26 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,441 YOU, 27 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:17,178 WHO, "W" IS SILENT, DRINK. 28 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,646 I KNEW THAT'D GET YOUR ATTENTION. 29 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,348 - ATTENTION WAS WEIRD. 30 00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:23,484 THE PEOPLE WHO HAD IT SEEMED NOT TO WANT IT, 31 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:26,019 AND THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T HAVE IT 32 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,021 SEEMED TO WANT NOTHING MORE. 33 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,658 - RICKY SCHWARTZ IS ACTING ALL STRANGER THAN FICTION. 34 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,925 EVER SINCE HIS PARENTS TOOK HIM OFF HIS MEDS, 35 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,961 HE STOPPED CHECKING ME OUT. 36 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:37,165 - REFOCUSING ATTENTION WAS MY CURRENT STRATEGY. 37 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:41,302 I WAS PLAYING HARD TO GET WITH A GUY THAT WAS HARD TO GET. 38 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,936 IT SEEMED TO BE WORKING, 39 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,573 AND I WASN'T GOING TO GIVE IN TO MATTY'S PRIVATE SEXCAPADES 40 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,975 UNTIL I GOT SOME PUBLIC ATTENTION. 41 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,377 - [clearing throat] AND NOW, PALOS HILLERS, 42 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,179 IT'S TIME TO ANNOUNCE THE LEADS 43 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,781 OF THIS YEAR'S MOCK D.U.I. CAR CRASH. 44 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,820 AND THE ROLE OF DEAD JOHNNY GOES TO... 45 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,355 JAKE ROSATI. 46 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:08,696 [applause] 47 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:11,965 AND THE ROLE OF DEAD STACEY GOES TO... 48 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,067 - THIS PART'S ALL MINE. 49 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,670 - JENNA HAMILTON. 50 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,207 [light applause] 51 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:22,943 - IT WAS NOT THE KIND OF ATTENTION I WAS LOOKING FOR. 52 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:30,851 [school bell rings] 53 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,420 - WHAT UP, DEAD STACEY? 54 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,087 - THERE'S NO WAY I'M PLAYING DEAD STACEY. 55 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,056 I'VE ALREADY HAD ONE LETHAL MISUNDERSTANDING THIS YEAR. 56 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,225 I DON'T NEED ANOTHER. 57 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,326 - THIS JUST CONFIRMS 58 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,528 THAT THERE IS A THEATER CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME. 59 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,962 - I'M GONNA GO TELL VALERIE THAT I QUIT, 60 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:42,963 AND THEN YOU CAN PLAY DEAD STACEY. 61 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,232 - YES! 62 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,834 - JUST REMEMBER, IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU DIE. 63 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,402 IN THE CLASSIC LICENSE TO KILL, 64 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,305 TIFFANI-AMBER THIESSEN DIES ON THE HOOD, 65 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,473 BUT IN LOVE ON THE ROCKS, 66 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,107 TORI SPELLING DRIVES INTO A FIELD OF CORN 67 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,877 AND DISAPPEARS... [whispering] FOREVER. 68 00:02:56,877 --> 00:03:00,248 - OH, LOOK, THEY PICKED THE DEAD GIRL TO PLAY DEAD. 69 00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,515 CONGRATS, JENNA. 70 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:05,253 YOU'VE ACTUALLY BECOME A CLICHE OF YOURSELF. 71 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,788 - CLICHE MEANS STUPID, RIGHT? 72 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,057 - LOOKS LIKE SADIE'S JEAL-Y. 73 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,091 - WELL, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT, 74 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,261 BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING IT. 75 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,629 PLAYING DEAD STACEY WAS BIGGER THAN BEING HOMECOMING QUEEN, 76 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,031 BUT I WAS TRYING TO BURY MY SUICIDE STIGMA, 77 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,132 NOT ADVERTISE IT. 78 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,069 - OH, JENNA, HEY! YOU EXCITED? 79 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,904 - NO, I'M NOT DOING IT. 80 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,506 I WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT TO GO QUIT RIGHT NOW. 81 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,007 - WHOA, HOLD UP! HOLD UP. [chuckles] 82 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,342 BEFORE YOU, UH, 83 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,444 KILL YOUR ONLY CHANCE OF BEING MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND, 84 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,846 UM, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU RECONSIDER. 85 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,783 I MEAN, UH, JUST THINK OF ALL THE WAYS 86 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,285 I COULD END YOUR LIFE. 87 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,287 [sinister groan] 88 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,589 - I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KILL ME BY COCKTAIL, 89 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,790 NOT ASPHYXIATION. 90 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,493 [both mouthing words] 91 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,196 - EVERYTHING OKAY? 92 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,998 - OTHER THAN PUBLIC HUMILIATION AND WHIPLASH FROM YOU, 93 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,165 I'M GREAT. 94 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,668 - YOU SURE? 'CAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE, UH, 95 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,869 EVER SINCE OUR KISS, YOU JUST SEEM-- 96 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,305 - WE'RE GOOD. 97 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,973 - IT JUST SEEMED LIKE LAST WEEK, WHEN WE TALKED ON THE PHONE, 98 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,542 YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING WAS COOL, 99 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,976 AND THEN TODAY YOU'RE ACTING KINDA WEIRD, AND-- 100 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:03,977 - LISTEN, JAKE. - MM-HMM? 101 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,313 - HERE ARE THE BULLET POINTS. 102 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,515 I'M YOUR FRIEND. WE HAD AN ACCIDENTAL KISS, 103 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,149 THAT EVEN YOU SAID WAS A MISTAKE, 104 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,984 BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. - OH. 105 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,587 - AND I'M NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING, OKAY? I PROMISE. 106 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:17,224 I HAVE TO GO QUIT NOW. 107 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:21,329 THERE REALLY WAS SOMETHING TO THIS PLAYING-HARD-TO-GET THING. 108 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,331 WHOEVER SAID, "IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME," WAS WRONG. 109 00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:26,900 TEAR IT DOWN. THEY COME RUNNING. 110 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,503 - DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING, I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE. 111 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,706 CONGRATS. 112 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,342 I SAVE THIS FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS, 113 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:37,478 AND THIS, MY JENNA-RATION, IS A SPECIAL OCCASION. 114 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,547 - IT SURE IS. - YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE, JENNA? 115 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,415 WE ARE PIONEERS. 116 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:45,152 TWO FEMALE PIONEERS ON THE OREGON TRAIL, 117 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:48,155 FORGING THE RIVER, HEADING WEST, 118 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,358 AND EVEN THOUGH MARY-BETH HAS DYSENTERY, 119 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,659 WE WILL NOT BE STOPPED. 120 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,894 WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 121 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:57,965 [grunts] [whispering] GET THAT. 122 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,100 TO OUR SUCCESS TOMORROW. - I CAN'T. 123 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,369 - IT'S SPARKLING APPLE JUICE. 124 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:02,736 - NO, I CAN'T BE DEAD STACEY. 125 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,906 BUT GOOD NEWS. MY FRIEND, TAMARA, WANTS TO DO IT. 126 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:09,076 SHE WOULD LOVE--I MEAN DIE, ABSOLUTELY DIE FOR THE ROLL. 127 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:12,179 - UH, YEAH, I'VE HEARD ALL ABOUT TAMARA FROM MR. WILKERSON. 128 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,747 APPARENTLY, SHE'S A LITTLE MUCH. 129 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,848 - SHE'S A PERFORMER. - NO. 130 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:15,949 NO, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. 131 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,885 SHE PLAYED TAMMY IN GREASE LAST YEAR. 132 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,654 THERE IS NO TAMMY. THEY JUST MADE UP A CHARACTER, 133 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,090 SO THEY COULD KILL HER OFF IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES. 134 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:30,130 I'M GONNA LEVEL WITH YOU. I'M ON WHAT THEY CALL THIN ICE. 135 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,000 APPARENTLY, PRINCIPAL COX DOESN'T LIKE THE ADVICE 136 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,702 I GIVE TO STUDENTS. 137 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,604 GETTING PREGNANT DOES SUCK, 138 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,406 BUT BREAST-FEEDING MAKES YOU SKINNY. 139 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,941 BURNING AND NOT ITCHING, YOU'RE FINE. 140 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,977 TAKE A SLEEPING PILL AND NAP UNDER MY DESK. 141 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,813 - WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP. 142 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,248 - SEE. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE MY GIRL. 143 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,150 - I AM? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? 144 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,853 - THAT IS WHY I NEED YOUR HELP TO MAKE CRASH'D... 145 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,089 [car crash sound effect] 146 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,991 A SUCCESS. IT'S COOL, HUH? 147 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,060 SEE, I JUST NEED TO PROVE TO PRINCIPAL COX 148 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,696 THAT CAN BE RESPONSIBLE, AND SINCE YOU'RE MY GIRL, 149 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,932 I KNOW THAT YOU'LL TAKE THIS EVENT SERIOUSLY. 150 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,634 I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT MY BACK, RIGHT? 151 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,603 - I WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE DEAD STACEY, 152 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:12,673 BUT, UM, CONSIDERING MY RECENT ACCIDENT, 153 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,274 THERE'S NO WAY MY PARENTS WILL LET ME 154 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,609 DO THE WHOLE "DEAD" THING. 155 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,712 THEY'RE STILL REALLY SENSITIVE ABOUT IT. 156 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,882 IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'D TOTALLY DO IT, THOUGH. 157 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,984 - PARENTS DON'T HAVE TO KNOW. [laughs] 158 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,919 [phone rings] 159 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,588 HELLO? 160 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,523 - SNICKERDOODLE. 161 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,891 - [whispering] GOD, SORRY, IT'S MY MOM. 162 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,260 - HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING? 163 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,595 - HOW'D IT GO? DID I GET IT? 164 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,464 I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ALL THE WAYS I CAN DIE. 165 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,899 - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS, I DON'T HAVE TO BE DEAD STACEY, 166 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:42,002 THE BAD NEWS, THEY WON'T LET YOU HAVE THE PART. 167 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,737 - THIS REEKS OF MR. WILKERSON. 168 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,839 THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY TALENT 169 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,476 AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HIS BROKEN DREAMS AND HIS BALD HEAD. 170 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,479 BUT IF I CAN'T BE DEAD STACEY, YOU HAVE TO DO IT, 171 00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:54,114 OTHERWISE THEY'RE GONNA GIVE IT TO SOME NASTY BEAST LIKE SADIE. 172 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,282 - LET SADIE AT IT. 173 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:58,852 I'D LOVE TO SEE HER COVERED IN BLOOD. 174 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,689 - SO NOTHING INTERESTING HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY? 175 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:02,856 NO ALTERCATIONS? 176 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,191 - NOPE. 177 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,894 - AND YOU WORE UNDERWEAR? 178 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,796 - YES. 179 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,532 - SO YOU DIDN'T FLASH YOUR LADY BITS TO ANYONE, 180 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,533 BY ACCIDENT? 181 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,734 - NO. 182 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,002 - OR ON PURPOSE? 183 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,336 - NO ONE SAW MY VAGINA. 184 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,539 NOTHING HAPPENED. WHAT'S UP WITH THE THIRD DEGREE? 185 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,373 [knocking] 186 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,776 - HI! IT'S ME, VALERIE. 187 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,545 - KILL. ME. NOW. 188 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,813 - [squeals] 189 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,581 - GO AROUND. - OH, OKAY. 190 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,121 - SO THIS IS WHERE MY GIRL LIVES. 191 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,355 I BROUGHT GIFTS. 192 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:38,559 FOR YOU. IT LIVES FOREVER. 193 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,361 AND YOU, DIET WINE. 194 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,196 I KNOW HOW YOU P.V. MOMS LIKE TO STAY SKINNY. 195 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:47,535 - OH! WELL, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF DIET WINE. [laughs] 196 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,702 - OH, WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY DIET. 197 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,638 THE GRAPES ARE ORGANIC, RUNS RIGHT THROUGH YA. 198 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,840 IT'S LIKE DRINKIN' THE WATER IN MEXICO. 199 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:53,874 - [whispering] THROW IT OUT. 200 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,776 - SO CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, MS.-- 201 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,811 - OH, VAL. YEAH, I'D LOVE A ZIMA. 202 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,615 OR NOTHING. NOTHING'S GOOD. 203 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,884 - WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT? 204 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,853 - YES. - YES. 205 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:11,358 - [clears throat] WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? 206 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,961 - I, UH, FIGURED IT WAS ABOUT TIME 207 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,830 I VISITED MY HOMEGIRL AT HOME, HUH? 208 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,298 ACTUALLY, THAT'S A LIE. 209 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,133 I--I'M HERE ABOUT CRASH'D. 210 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,570 I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULDN'T WANT 211 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:25,305 YOUR DAUGHTER TO PARTICIPATE, BUT JENNA REALLY WANTS TO DO IT. 212 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,340 SHE'S JUST AFRAID YOU WON'T APPROVE. 213 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,809 - APPROVE OF WHAT? 214 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:31,579 - JENNA HAS BEEN CHOSEN TO PLAY DEAD ST-- 215 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,180 - STACEY? 216 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,883 IS THIS ABOUT DEAD STACEY? 217 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,651 - WELL-- 218 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,587 - OH, MY GOD! 219 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,721 COME WITH ME. COME--COME HERE, COME HERE. 220 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:45,626 I WAS DEAD STACEY, 1995. 221 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,827 BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE! 222 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:47,928 LOOK. - OH! 223 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,930 - OH, MY GOSH. - YOU LOOK AMAZING. 224 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,600 SO YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS? - O-OKAY WITH IT? 225 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,502 I AM THRILLED! [both laugh] 226 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,505 - AND I WAS SCREWED. 227 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,174 DAD, YOU HAVE TO HELP. 228 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,943 I LIED AND TOLD VALERIE 229 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,112 THAT YOU GUYS WOULDN'T LET ME BE DEAD STACEY, 230 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,615 AND NOW MOM HAS EFFED THAT UP MAJORLY. 231 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,949 - WELL, IF YOU'D GIVEN ME A HEADS-UP, 232 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,618 I WOULD'VE COVERED FOR YOU. 233 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,853 - I--WELL, I HAD, UM, A LITTLE ENHANCEMENT. 234 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,855 YOU CAN FEEL 'EM, THEY FEEL TOTALLY REAL. 235 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,123 - REALLY? - YES. 236 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,357 SEE? 237 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,491 - YOU'D NEVER KNOW THEY WEREN'T REAL. 238 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,693 - I TOLD YOU. 239 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,461 - DAD, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. 240 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,096 - WELL, I DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS. 241 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,866 I MEAN, DEAD STACEY WAS COOL WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 242 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,768 - I THINK YOU HAVE CONVENIENTLY FORGOTTEN 243 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,303 THAT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL ALREADY THINKS I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF. 244 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,372 - BUT YOU DIDN'T, 245 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:36,409 SO THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE THE CONVERSATION. 246 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,980 - I WAS SO OVER MY DAD AND HIS HAIKU ADVICE. 247 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:44,084 CHANGE THE CONVERSATION? I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT. 248 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,919 ALL I KNEW WAS THAT 249 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,656 I WAS STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A DEAD PLACE. 250 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,692 I HAD BEEN CAUGHT IN A LIE, AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS CONVINCED 251 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,460 VALERIE HAD A TOUCH OF ASPERGER'S, 252 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,763 I DIDN'T WANT HER TO LOSE HER JOB. 253 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,197 [phone chimes] 254 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,534 - WELL, IF I WAS GONNA DIE TOMORROW, 255 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,870 I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE TONIGHT. 256 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,383 - HEY-- 257 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,388 I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T TALKING TO ME. 258 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,156 - I'M BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE TOMORROW. 259 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,892 I'M NOT HERE TO TALK. 260 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,032 - [laughs] 261 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:37,905 WHAT DO WE HAVE GOING ON HERE? 262 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,808 OH, NICE ASS. - JIM, GET INSIDE, MAN, JUST-- 263 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:41,842 - OH, WAIT, WAIT. 264 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,044 IS THIS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? 265 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,278 OH. [sniffs] 266 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,513 - OH, THAT'S ENOUGH, DUDE. - HI. 267 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,882 - ENOUGH. 268 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,150 - IS THAT YOUR BROTHER? 269 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:54,922 - YES, I AM. AND YOU ARE? 270 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:57,057 - MAN, PLEASE. 271 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,392 I'M SORRY. YOU SHOULD GO HOME. 272 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,766 - IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I LISTENED TO MY INSTINCTS, 273 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:09,737 AND NOT ONLY DID MATTY REFUSE TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS BROTHER, 274 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,872 BUT I GOT A DOOR SLAMMED IN MY FACE. 275 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,944 [school bell rings] - [over P.A.] GOOD MORNING, 276 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,913 PALOS HILLERS, AND WELCOME TO DRUNK DRIVING AWARENESS DAY. 277 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,750 [car crash sound effect] 278 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:26,486 EVERY 15 MINUTES, 279 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:30,123 SOMEONE DIES OF AN ALCOHOL-RELATED INCIDENT. 280 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:33,460 TODAY, TO REPRESENT THOSE DEATHS, 281 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:37,597 A GRIM REAPER WILL TAP SOMEONE, AND AT THAT TIME, 282 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:40,267 THOSE STUDENTS WILL BECOME THE LIVING DEAD 283 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:43,503 AND REMAIN SILENT FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. 284 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:49,877 REMEMBER, IF YOU'VE BEEN A-BOOZIN', DON'T GO A-CRUISIN'! 285 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,545 [car crash sound effect] 286 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,481 WELCOME TO CRASH'D! 287 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,885 [police siren wails] 288 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,419 - IT WAS THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, 289 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,388 AND NOW I HAVE TO GO DIE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. 290 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,956 - I AM THE GRIM REAPER. 291 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,625 - I'M SORRY, I SHOULDN'T BE COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS TO YOU. 292 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,594 - IT'S OKAY. - YOU'RE DEAD. 293 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,796 - WHILE I WAS CLIPPING MY CAT'S TOENAILS LAST NIGHT, 294 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,097 I HAD A CATHARSIS. 295 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,899 I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD STACEY. 296 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,233 - YOU ARE? - YEAH. 297 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,601 IT'S LIKE THIS-- 298 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,870 TOENAILS ARE DEAD CELLS, 299 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,706 AND YOU ALMOST DIED, SO YOU DESERVE THIS PART. 300 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,541 IT'S LIKE POETIC JUSTICE. 301 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,277 I JUST WISH I WAS DOING IT WITH YOU. 302 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,712 - WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T? 303 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,280 - [laughing] UM, MR. WILKERSON 304 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,816 AND THE ENTIRE THEATER DEPARTMENT. 305 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,084 - MAYBE YOU CAN. - DEAD TO ME! 306 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,419 - YOU'RE GONNA NEED A DRESS AND A DATE. 307 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,821 THINK RICKY SCHWARTZ IS AVAILABLE? 308 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,222 - OH, MY GOD! WHAT'S HAPPENING? 309 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,157 - WE'RE CHANGING THE CONVERSATION. 310 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,658 [heavy metal music] 311 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,493 - DEAD. DEAD. 312 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,495 DEADER. DEADEST. 313 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,496 HEY! HEY! 314 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:47,534 HEY, GET BACK HERE! KEVIN! - NO! 315 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,469 - THIS DAY IS SO STUPID. 316 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,538 BUT IT'S AWESOME THAT ANDREW HEDER CAN'T TALK, 317 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:52,906 'CAUSE HE'S, LIKE, KINDA STUPID, 318 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,108 BUT HE'S ALSO KIND OF A HOT GING. 319 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,409 - YOU'RE DEAD. 320 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:59,212 - IF I DON'T GET TO PLAY DEAD STACEY, 321 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,214 I AM NOT GONNA BE A DEAD EXTRA. 322 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,083 - [chilling voice] YES, YOU ARE. 323 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:06,386 I AM THE GRIM REAPER. 324 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,988 - YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME, 325 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,991 AND YOU CAN'T PAINT MY FACE WITH THAT [bleep] EITHER, 326 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,259 IT'LL MAKE ME BREAK OUT. 327 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,694 DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MICRO-DERM COSTS? 328 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,530 - I'LL GIVE YOU A $20 GIFT CARD TO SEPHORA. 329 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,499 - 50. - FINE! 330 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,601 NOW YOU'RE DEAD. 331 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,437 YOU, TOO, BLONDIE! 332 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,472 - SO SEE, IT ALL STAYS THE SAME, 333 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,473 EXCEPT FOR THIS PART, RIGHT HERE. 334 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,508 - YEAH, COOL. I GOT IT. 335 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,378 IT'S REALLY GOOD. - THANKS. 336 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,180 - I'M JUST GONNA THROW THIS OUT THERE. 337 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,481 - TOTALLY, I'M OPEN TO NOTES. 338 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,217 - [laughs] NO, UM... 339 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:40,053 TALKING ABOUT US. 340 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,989 I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE STILL WEIRDED OUT ABOUT OUR KISS. 341 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,191 - SERIOUSLY? - YEAH. 342 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,427 - HI, THE STARS OF THE SHOW! 343 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,397 ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, LET'S JUST POP THE CHERRY ON THIS. 344 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:54,534 OKAY. GO AHEAD AND SCOOT CLOSER. 345 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,703 HOLD HANDS. 346 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,172 GO AHEAD. 347 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,309 GO AHEAD AND WAFFLE. IT'S MORE INTIMATE THAT WAY. 348 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,776 ALL RIGHT, WELL, 349 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:08,081 NOW THAT YOU TWO LOOK LIKE A REAL COUPLE... 350 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,083 AH. 351 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,352 HERE. 352 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,620 [sighs] 353 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,688 DON'T SQUIRT UNTIL YOU'RE IN THE CAR. 354 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,924 REMEMBER, THE MORE BLOOD, THE BETTER. 355 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,158 QUESTIONS? CONCERNS? 356 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:21,128 - YES. I CAN'T BE DEAD STACEY... - [groans] 357 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,795 - UNLESS WE DO IT MY WAY. 358 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,831 WE'RE GONNA BE DOING THE SAME EVENT, BUT BETTER. 359 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,699 - HOW COULD YOU PUT ME IN THIS POSITION? 360 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,601 - JENNA'S IDEAS ARE GOOD. 361 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:29,802 - THEY ARE? 362 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,471 - YEAH. 363 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,941 - PROMISE. I WOULD NEVER LET YOU DOWN, V. 364 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:36,209 - "V"? 365 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,478 NO ONE'S EVER CALLED ME THAT BEFORE. 366 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,247 - EXCEPT ME. I'M YOUR GIRL. 367 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,781 I'M GONNA BE THE BEST DEAD STACEY EVER. 368 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,784 - I KNOW YOU ARE. UP TOP! 369 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,754 [grunts] CUT THE PICKLE. 370 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,590 - WHAT? - GO AHEAD. 371 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,559 TICKLE, TICKLE. 372 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,861 [grunts] - I'M OKAY. 373 00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:01,201 - HEY. 374 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,636 I AM SO SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT. 375 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:07,240 MY BROTHER WAS BEIN' A REAL DICK. 376 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,209 I JUST FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN. 377 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,777 - WHY WAS HE SO WEIRD? 378 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,013 AND WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD? WHY ARE WE HIDING? 379 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,648 - UM... [chuckles] I DON'T KNOW. 380 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,717 I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. 381 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:18,986 - SO YOU CAN SLEEP WITH ME IN PRIVATE, 382 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:22,555 BUT YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME IN PUBLIC? 383 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,756 FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT, MATTY, 384 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,558 BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF BEING YOUR SECRET. 385 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,428 AS I WALKED TO MY VERY PUBLIC DEATH, 386 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,997 I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER, 387 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,831 DID I JUST KILL MY PRIVATE RELATIONSHIP 388 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,600 WITH MATTY MCKIBBEN? 389 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,007 - J, YOU REALLY PUT ME OVER A BARREL HERE. 390 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,908 I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR ADDITIONS. 391 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,710 I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM. - LISTEN, NICK. 392 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,479 I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH! 393 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,681 - BEND OVER. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT ENOUGH IS. 394 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,617 [both laugh] 395 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,285 - OKAY, THEY'RE JUST GOOFING OFF. 396 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,653 IT'LL BE FINE. TRUST ME. 397 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,756 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY. BREAK LEGS, EVERYONE! 398 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,026 I MEAN, TEAR YOUR HEADS OFF! [nervous laugh] 399 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,929 - OH, DEAD MAN WALKING. ANY LAST WORDS? 400 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:04,164 - NOW YOU WANT TO TALK? 401 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,798 - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 402 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,667 - [sighs] I'M FINE. 403 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,436 EVERYTHING'S FINE. 404 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,505 [sighs] 405 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,773 [winces] 406 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,912 - OH, GOD. 407 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,049 I'M NERVOUS. - AH, SHE'LL BE GREAT. 408 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,184 SHE TAKES AFTER HER MOTHER. 409 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,752 [ominous music] 410 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:31,058 - [deep voice] IN A WORLD WHERE TEENAGERS DRINK... 411 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:35,195 ONE NIGHT, ONE BOY... 412 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,297 TOOK ONE GIRL... 413 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:38,565 TO PROM. 414 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,401 [slow dance music] 415 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,771 * * 416 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,607 JOHNNY AND STACEY DECIDED NOT TO DRINK. 417 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,077 [whispering] THEY'RE CHRISTIAN. 418 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,779 UNLIKE THEIR FRIENDS, NICK AND NATALIE, 419 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,581 WHO DECIDED TO DRINK. 420 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,083 THEY'RE LOOSE. 421 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:59,652 AFTER PROM, EVERYTHING WAS GOLDEN, 422 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:04,891 UNTIL NICK DECIDED TO DRIVE DRUNK! 423 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,127 [car crash sound effect] 424 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,097 - NO, NICKY! 425 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,531 - THE CAR WAS TOTALED. 426 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,533 PARAMEDICS WERE ON THE WAY. 427 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,902 DID YOU KNOW THAT THE LEGAL LIMIT... 428 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,904 - YOU KNOW HOW I SAID I WAS FINE BEFORE? 429 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,939 OKAY, I AM NOT FINE, OKAY? 430 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,008 THE REASON THAT I KEEP BRINGING UP OUR KISS 431 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,111 IS BECAUSE I'M CONFUSED. 432 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,445 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 433 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,380 I--I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. - JAKE, WE'RE FRIENDS. 434 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,117 I TOLD YOU THAT, OKAY? I NEED MORE BLOOD. 435 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:32,252 - BUT IF I'M REALLY BEING HONEST WITH MYSELF, 436 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,253 THE REASON THAT I KEEP 437 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,122 BRINGING UP OUR KISS IS BECAUSE-- 438 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,356 - OH! BLOOD ON THE BOOBS. 439 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,225 - I LIKE LIKE YOU. 440 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,260 - I DEFINITELY HAD FEELINGS TOO. 441 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,295 WERE THEY FEELINGS FOR JAKE? 442 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,731 OR WAS IT THE FEELING YOU GET RIGHT BEFORE YOU DIE? 443 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,299 - BACK AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. 444 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:57,344 - I'M ALIVE? I'M ALIVE! 445 00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,447 - DRUNK NATALIE WAS A MUTE. 446 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:04,884 - OH, NO! NICKY? WHAT HAVE WE DONE? 447 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:09,722 - DRUNK, MUTE NATALIE ESCAPED WITH MINOR INJURIES. 448 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,791 DRUNK NICK WAS ARRESTED FOR A D.U.I. 449 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,226 AND HAULED OFF TO THE SLAMMER. [jail doors slam] 450 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:17,164 JOHNNY WAS AIRLIFTED FOR EMERGENCY SURGERY, 451 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,900 WHERE HE WAITED FOR A LIVER THAT WOULD NEVER COME. 452 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,170 [helicopter blades whir] UNFORTUNATELY, 453 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:26,206 STACEY'S INJURIES WERE SO SEVERE, 454 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,007 IT LOOKED LIKE SHE WOULDN'T MAKE IT. 455 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:32,312 STACEY DIDN'T DRINK. SHE DIDN'T DRIVE. 456 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:35,948 SHE DID EVERYTHING RIGHT. 457 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,919 AN INNOCENT VICTIM TO SOMEONE ELSE'S MISTAKE. 458 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,555 - STACEY! NO! 459 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,790 DON'T DIE! 460 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,393 - EVEN THOUGH DRUNK NATALIE TRIED, 461 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,628 SHE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO SAVE STACEY. 462 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,896 [heart monitor beeps] 463 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,464 - STAY WITH ME, STACE! 464 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,032 - STACEY WAS SEEING THE LIGHT. 465 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,202 - [whispering] DO IT NOW. 466 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:58,538 [cheers and applause] 467 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,540 - EVEN HOMOEROTIC TENSION 468 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,210 COULDN'T BRING STACEY BACK TO LIFE. 469 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,512 [audience members whistling] SHE WAS DEAD IN TEN, NINE... 470 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:09,081 EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX-- - GET SOME! 471 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,583 - STACEY WAS IN THE LIGHT! 472 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,252 - [gasps] - DEAD STACEY LIVES! 473 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,221 - THERE WAS A MIRACLE. 474 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,255 [cheers and applause] 475 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,990 both: YEAH! 476 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,229 all: WHOO! 477 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,863 - YEAH! 478 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,232 [applause] 479 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,233 - WHOO! 480 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,674 - MS. MARKS? 481 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,309 - I KNOW. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT. 482 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,810 - I DO. 483 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:42,315 THIS WAS THE BEST DRUNK DRIVING AWARENESS DAY WE'VE EVER HAD. 484 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:43,916 OH, BOY, UM-- 485 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,318 - ACTUALLY, IT'S CALLED CRASH'D. 486 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,620 - MM-HMM. 487 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,055 - COUNSELORS... - GOT IT. 488 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,257 - RAISING AWARENESS... - MM-HMM. 489 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,258 - FOR STUDENTS... - THANK YOU. 490 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,025 - WHO, "W" IS SILENT... 491 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,160 - I DON'T CARE. 492 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,162 - DRINK. 493 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,264 - YOU WERE SO GOOD. 494 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,865 - ALMOST AS GOOD AS I WAS. 495 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,733 - MOM, DON'T CRY. 496 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,069 - [sobbing] I'M NOT. 497 00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,637 BUT I WILL IF YOU GET BLOOD ON MY SWEATER. [laughs] 498 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,172 IT'S CASHMERE. 499 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,607 - LACE, LET'S LET HER HAVE THE MOMENT. 500 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,208 - YOU WERE SO GOOD. 501 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,544 - I WAS SURE PLAYING DEAD STACEY 502 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,613 WOULD RESULT IN SOCIAL SUICIDE. 503 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:16,883 BUT INSTEAD, MY REPUTATION WAS RESURRECTED. 504 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,051 - YOU WERE AMAZING. 505 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,587 - AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, 506 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:23,356 I GOT THE ATTENTION I WAS LOOKING FOR. 507 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,995 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 508 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,897 - IF MY PARTY IS EPICALLY AWESOME, 509 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,466 MAYBE MATTY WILL FINALLY SEE ME AS GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL. 510 00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:36,035 - WHEN YOU TOOK THAT KID OUT WITH YOUR TONGUE... 511 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,305 [laughs] - I'M WIGGING OUT. 512 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,406 I JUST HAD PARTIAL RECALL. 513 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,540 I'M NOT SURE I GOT DOWN WITH MATTY, 514 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,141 BECAUSE I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN JAKE. 515 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,311 PLEASE CONFIRM OR DENY, I'M LOSING IT! 36822

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