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1
00:00:07,035 --> 00:00:11,186
Matthew, turn off the TV,
dinner's almost ready.
2
00:00:11,187 --> 00:00:13,570
Okay, dinner's ready.
3
00:00:13,571 --> 00:00:15,048
Wait, submarine
sandwiches again?
4
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,192
This is, like, three days in a row.
What's going on?
5
00:00:17,193 --> 00:00:19,970
Hey, are you sleeping with
the guy at Quizno's again?
6
00:00:19,971 --> 00:00:23,320
No, I didn't sleep with him,
we just flirted.
7
00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,805
He touched my cheek when
he gave me my Sun Chips.
8
00:00:26,806 --> 00:00:30,556
And he gave me a free
punch on my card.
9
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:35,194
Is there anyone who
hasn't punched your card?
10
00:00:35,195 --> 00:00:37,481
Quiet. I am on a quest.
11
00:00:37,482 --> 00:00:39,488
I have to find that
sandwich I had last month.
12
00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:42,166
I am telling you it
was the best sub
13
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,558
I've ever eaten in
my entire life.
14
00:00:44,559 --> 00:00:46,256
So you have no idea where
the sandwich place was
15
00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:47,246
no cross street, nothing.
16
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,636
No, somebody else was driving.
17
00:00:48,637 --> 00:00:49,986
I had low blood sugar.
18
00:00:49,987 --> 00:00:51,327
And it was raining.
19
00:00:51,328 --> 00:00:53,796
Or I was crying... something.
20
00:00:53,797 --> 00:00:56,195
I don't know.
I think it started with an "S."
21
00:00:56,196 --> 00:00:58,696
Oh, was it Subway?
22
00:01:02,255 --> 00:01:03,655
Yeah, Matthew,
23
00:01:03,656 --> 00:01:06,730
I forgot the name of Subway.
24
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:10,832
Okay, here we go.
25
00:01:13,678 --> 00:01:16,572
Oh, no... God, this isn't it.
26
00:01:18,448 --> 00:01:20,274
Oh, this is disgusting.
27
00:01:20,275 --> 00:01:22,775
I can't eat this. Really.
28
00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:27,070
Mmm. This is definitely not it.
29
00:01:29,377 --> 00:01:30,444
Hey there.
30
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:32,697
- Hey.
- Smells like onions in here.
31
00:01:32,698 --> 00:01:36,958
That guy at Quizno's
still punching your card?
32
00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:40,715
No, he touched my cheek.
You don't know anything about romance.
33
00:01:40,716 --> 00:01:45,187
Hey... Hi, sweetie. Look at you.
You look so handsome.
34
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:48,838
Oh, just like a tiny
used car salesman.
35
00:01:49,795 --> 00:01:51,295
I'm wearing my church clothes.
36
00:01:51,296 --> 00:01:53,015
You sure are.
37
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:54,944
What?
38
00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:58,226
Dad and New Christine
took me to church.
39
00:01:58,227 --> 00:02:00,761
You took him to church?
40
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,928
Hey, who wants to
change the subject?
41
00:02:05,807 --> 00:02:08,344
Yeah, I belong to the First
Methodist Church on Helm,
42
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,944
and today was our
autumn festival.
43
00:02:09,945 --> 00:02:11,407
There were games and songs.
44
00:02:11,408 --> 00:02:13,435
And all these nice people
that were happy to see me.
45
00:02:13,436 --> 00:02:15,936
I love church.
46
00:02:18,478 --> 00:02:21,780
Richard, he loves church.
47
00:02:22,297 --> 00:02:23,875
Can I talk to you for a minute?
48
00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:25,386
It's kind of bad timing.
49
00:02:25,387 --> 00:02:28,407
New Christine has
woman problems.
50
00:02:28,628 --> 00:02:32,228
Richard... I don't
have woman problems.
51
00:02:32,448 --> 00:02:35,417
Sure you do. You got 'em bad.
We got to go.
52
00:02:35,418 --> 00:02:36,656
Hold it, hold it.
53
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,266
Ritchie, you know what?
Why don't you go upstairs
54
00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:41,064
and change into your play
clothes while I talk to Daddy.
55
00:02:41,065 --> 00:02:42,197
- Okay.
- Okay.
56
00:02:42,198 --> 00:02:43,276
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, buddy.
57
00:02:43,277 --> 00:02:44,514
Feel better, New Christine.
58
00:02:44,515 --> 00:02:46,216
Oh, I don't have...
59
00:02:46,217 --> 00:02:48,717
Thank you.
60
00:02:50,156 --> 00:02:54,756
I'm going to go change
into my play clothes, too.
61
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,718
Godspeed.
62
00:03:00,276 --> 00:03:02,364
You took him to church?
63
00:03:02,365 --> 00:03:04,834
You took our son to church?!
64
00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:07,575
Look, he wanted to go.
We were going anyway.
65
00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:08,836
It didn't seem like
such a big deal.
66
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:12,084
What? You were going anyway?
What, you go to church now?
67
00:03:12,085 --> 00:03:14,314
Why? Just because your cute,
young girlfriend does?
68
00:03:14,315 --> 00:03:15,916
Hey.
69
00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:18,417
And thanks.
70
00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:21,025
You should've asked me.
71
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,594
Unbelievable.
72
00:03:22,595 --> 00:03:24,567
I don't understand
what's going on.
73
00:03:24,568 --> 00:03:26,204
Christine has this
thing about church.
74
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:27,927
It's not a thing.
75
00:03:27,928 --> 00:03:31,385
Richard, you and I talked about it,
and we made the decision
76
00:03:31,386 --> 00:03:35,044
that Ritchie was going to have
his spiritual education at home
77
00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:37,545
and not in a church.
78
00:03:39,328 --> 00:03:44,098
Watching Seventh Heaven is
not a spiritual education.
79
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,130
It is if you burn incense.
80
00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:51,416
Christine, it's not a big deal.
81
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:54,124
You went behind my back.
That's a very big deal.
82
00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:56,447
Man... your poor
parenting decisions
83
00:03:56,448 --> 00:03:58,065
never cease to amaze me.
84
00:03:58,066 --> 00:04:00,997
First, you want to take him
to a Rolling Stones concert,
85
00:04:00,998 --> 00:04:04,005
and now you're taking
him to church?!
86
00:04:04,006 --> 00:04:06,155
There isn't a
court in this land
87
00:04:06,156 --> 00:04:10,664
that wouldn't give me full
custody of that boy right now.
88
00:04:10,665 --> 00:04:13,184
What exactly is your
problem with church?
89
00:04:13,185 --> 00:04:15,685
Yeah.
90
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:19,027
People who go to church
91
00:04:19,028 --> 00:04:21,607
only like other people
who go to church.
92
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:24,353
Plus, they hate gay people.
93
00:04:26,415 --> 00:04:29,903
And I hate anyone who hates.
94
00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:34,025
You know what? She's right.
95
00:04:34,026 --> 00:04:36,746
We don't have to go
to church anymore?
96
00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:38,785
No, she's right about Ritchie.
97
00:04:38,786 --> 00:04:40,914
This is a parenting decision.
It's something we shouldn't have done
98
00:04:40,915 --> 00:04:43,077
without checking
with her first.
99
00:04:43,078 --> 00:04:44,775
I'm sorry, Christine.
100
00:04:44,776 --> 00:04:46,396
We made a mistake.
101
00:04:46,397 --> 00:04:48,117
Oh, well, thank you.
102
00:04:48,118 --> 00:04:52,122
I accept your apology.
103
00:04:58,536 --> 00:05:01,036
I'm sorry, too. Geez.
104
00:05:02,518 --> 00:05:03,807
Thank you.
105
00:05:03,808 --> 00:05:05,876
I'm sorry I snapped.
106
00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:09,936
It's an emotional issue.
I have low blood sugar.
107
00:05:09,937 --> 00:05:12,822
Just be thankful I didn't cry.
108
00:05:13,476 --> 00:05:15,684
All right,
hope you feel better.
109
00:05:15,685 --> 00:05:17,575
Oh, I don't have...
110
00:05:17,576 --> 00:05:20,076
Thank you.
111
00:05:22,236 --> 00:05:24,980
God bless... Gesund...
112
00:05:25,897 --> 00:05:28,397
Good luck to you then.
113
00:05:34,215 --> 00:05:36,417
Ritchie, get up.
What are you doing?
114
00:05:36,418 --> 00:05:38,958
I'm playing Battlefront Two.
115
00:05:39,186 --> 00:05:41,686
I just blew up a village.
116
00:05:41,957 --> 00:05:43,924
Good, okay.
117
00:05:43,925 --> 00:05:46,115
Put that away, sweetie,
it's time for bed.
118
00:05:46,116 --> 00:05:47,297
- Hey, Mom?
- Yeah.
119
00:05:47,298 --> 00:05:49,086
- What are we?
- What do you mean?
120
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,816
Well, my friend
Riley is Catholic
121
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,587
and he says Catholics pray
to fathers and ghosts.
122
00:05:53,588 --> 00:05:55,047
Yeah, they do.
123
00:05:55,048 --> 00:05:58,657
And Peter is Jewish and he
doesn't eat cheeseburgers.
124
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,527
So, what are we?
125
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:05,427
Well, we're afraid of ghosts
and we love our cheeseburgers.
126
00:06:05,428 --> 00:06:07,897
Good night, sweetie pie.
127
00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:10,731
No, really. Are we something?
128
00:06:10,815 --> 00:06:13,975
Um, well, yeah, of course,
we're something.
129
00:06:13,976 --> 00:06:17,102
We're, um... we're Americans
130
00:06:17,686 --> 00:06:21,042
and we're... Californians.
131
00:06:21,725 --> 00:06:24,225
We bleed Dodger blue.
132
00:06:24,738 --> 00:06:27,697
But you know what, Ritchie?
Religion isn't really about labels.
133
00:06:27,698 --> 00:06:29,407
It's about what you believe in.
134
00:06:29,408 --> 00:06:31,908
What do we believe in?
135
00:06:34,558 --> 00:06:40,093
Uh, we believe in, uh,
n-nature, the earth...
136
00:06:40,995 --> 00:06:43,495
recycling...
137
00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:48,051
...and, uh,
we believe in dolphins
138
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:51,712
and, um, and diamonds.
139
00:06:53,397 --> 00:06:54,825
What about God?
140
00:06:54,826 --> 00:06:56,776
Oh, yeah,
and we believe in God.
141
00:06:56,777 --> 00:06:58,354
Yeah, okay.
142
00:06:58,355 --> 00:06:59,747
Good night, darling.
143
00:06:59,748 --> 00:07:01,461
I want to go back to church.
144
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,488
How would you like
to go to the zoo?
145
00:07:04,489 --> 00:07:06,356
I want to go back to church.
146
00:07:06,357 --> 00:07:11,117
How would you like to go
to Church's Fried Chicken?
147
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,265
I want to go back to church.
148
00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:18,776
Will you take me to church?
149
00:07:20,387 --> 00:07:22,804
We'll see.
150
00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:25,445
Doesn't "we'll see" mean no?
151
00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,974
We'll see.
152
00:07:28,975 --> 00:07:31,475
- Night, sweetie.
- Night.
153
00:07:32,325 --> 00:07:33,946
I don't know why he
won't let this go.
154
00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:36,165
I know. I dropped him off
at school this morning
155
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,736
and he kept asking me
all these questions.
156
00:07:37,737 --> 00:07:40,167
Like, do I believe in God?
Is there a heaven?
157
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,668
Is Mommy going to hell?
158
00:07:45,018 --> 00:07:47,281
Why would he think that
I was going to hell?
159
00:07:47,282 --> 00:07:49,266
Maybe because you used that
handicapped parking permit
160
00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:52,305
to do your Christmas
shopping last year.
161
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:56,066
Hey, I had an undiagnosed
sleep disorder.
162
00:07:57,288 --> 00:07:59,928
And a lot of shopping to do.
163
00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:05,257
Ooh, this looks promising.
164
00:08:05,258 --> 00:08:06,846
Why don't you just take
Ritchie to church?
165
00:08:06,847 --> 00:08:08,807
He'll probably go
once and be off it.
166
00:08:08,808 --> 00:08:10,267
It's just like the fajitas.
167
00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:11,787
Do you remember he kept
seeing those commercials
168
00:08:11,788 --> 00:08:14,516
and all he wanted was fajitas?
It was fajitas, fajitas, fajitas.
169
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:17,466
And then you finally took him and he
got scared of that sizzling plate
170
00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:19,557
and that was the
end of fajitas.
171
00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:22,274
I mean, church will be
the exact same thing.
172
00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:28,465
It's so weird the way he gets
obsessed with these things, you know?
173
00:08:29,048 --> 00:08:33,178
Ugh, could they cut
these onions any thicker?
174
00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:35,707
Ugh, this is wrong.
175
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,026
Anyway, I'm not a bad person
176
00:08:40,027 --> 00:08:41,895
for not wanting to take
Ritchie to church, you know.
177
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,717
- I have my reasons.
- Such as?
178
00:08:43,718 --> 00:08:47,384
Well, for one thing,
they're mean to gay people.
179
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:49,953
They don't pay their taxes.
180
00:08:50,327 --> 00:08:52,827
Do you pay your taxes?
181
00:08:52,857 --> 00:08:55,357
Hey, I'm handicapped.
182
00:08:56,845 --> 00:09:00,134
Besides, I'm plenty
spiritual without church.
183
00:09:00,135 --> 00:09:01,824
- How?
- I meditate.
184
00:09:01,825 --> 00:09:03,656
- When?
- In the tub.
185
00:09:03,657 --> 00:09:05,274
Well, that's not meditating,
that's mas...
186
00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:07,775
Shut up.
187
00:09:14,077 --> 00:09:15,864
Yeah, and that's another thing.
188
00:09:15,865 --> 00:09:20,394
Who's the church to tell me that
I can't meditate in the tub?
189
00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:24,092
I'm a divorced woman.
It's hard.
190
00:09:26,485 --> 00:09:30,775
Not as hard as eating
during this conversation.
191
00:09:30,907 --> 00:09:33,415
Okay, look, here's the thing.
192
00:09:33,416 --> 00:09:36,594
You probably don't remember this,
but I when I was 12,
193
00:09:36,595 --> 00:09:38,615
I took confirmation classes.
194
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:40,305
Wait, Mom and Dad
took you to church?
195
00:09:40,306 --> 00:09:44,896
No, they dropped me off on
their way to Indian Bingo.
196
00:09:44,897 --> 00:09:47,184
Anyway, I was 12 years old
197
00:09:47,185 --> 00:09:49,187
and I was searching
for meaning in my life,
198
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:52,177
you know, after they canceled
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
199
00:09:52,178 --> 00:09:54,265
Yeah, that was a good show.
200
00:09:54,266 --> 00:09:55,707
I loved it.
201
00:09:55,708 --> 00:09:58,208
Monroe.
202
00:10:01,837 --> 00:10:04,957
No, that's Too
Close For Comfort.
203
00:10:05,028 --> 00:10:07,546
Oh, that's another good show.
204
00:10:07,547 --> 00:10:10,076
I'm telling a story here, okay?
205
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,996
Anyway, I was
having a hard time.
206
00:10:11,997 --> 00:10:14,547
I was in junior high school,
I didn't have many friends,
207
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:17,365
and I was searching for
somewhere where I could belong.
208
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,574
And I thought that church
was where it could be.
209
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,435
So I went.
210
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:23,207
And nobody talked to me,
211
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:25,764
and I didn't know what was
going on most of the time.
212
00:10:25,765 --> 00:10:27,515
But I kept going back.
213
00:10:27,516 --> 00:10:29,657
I kept waiting for a sign;
214
00:10:29,658 --> 00:10:32,305
something to tell me that
I was in the right place.
215
00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:34,094
Well, so what happened?
Did you get your sign?
216
00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:35,925
Yeah, I did.
217
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,250
On the day of my confirmation,
218
00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:43,432
they forgot to call my name.
219
00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:50,384
All the other kids got called
up to the front, one by one,
220
00:10:50,385 --> 00:10:53,025
and I sat there in
my little white gown
221
00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:55,975
with my beautiful flowers
waiting to be called.
222
00:10:55,976 --> 00:11:01,636
You know, and at first I thought,
okay, they're going in order of height.
223
00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:05,263
And then I thought,
oh, you know what?
224
00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:07,405
They're probably going to
give me a special award
225
00:11:07,406 --> 00:11:10,276
and they're saving
me to the last.
226
00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:14,082
But no,
they never called my name.
227
00:11:14,097 --> 00:11:17,215
They never called
me to the front.
228
00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:20,220
So, hmm, I got my sign.
229
00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:22,105
I don't belong in church.
230
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:23,205
Wow.
231
00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:25,706
What did you do to God?
232
00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:28,084
What? No.
233
00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:29,815
That's not right.
234
00:11:29,816 --> 00:11:31,015
It was them.
235
00:11:31,016 --> 00:11:32,384
It wasn't me.
236
00:11:32,385 --> 00:11:33,937
God...
237
00:11:33,938 --> 00:11:36,667
Oh, anyway, you know,
I just don't want
238
00:11:36,668 --> 00:11:39,555
Ritchie's perfect
little innocent soul
239
00:11:39,556 --> 00:11:43,816
to be squashed like that,
like mine was. Okay?
240
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:46,106
They never called my name.
241
00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:48,873
I know, honey, but you know,
242
00:11:48,885 --> 00:11:52,955
that was 50 years ago,
and you're okay now.
243
00:11:54,678 --> 00:11:58,885
I going to have to take him
to church, aren't I?
244
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,526
Why am I such a good mother?
245
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:14,667
Okay, Ritchie, you know what?
If you don't want to do this,
246
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,266
we can turn around right now
and we can go to the zoo.
247
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:18,237
It'll be fun.
248
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,275
But you said we
could go to church.
249
00:12:20,276 --> 00:12:23,124
Oh, God,
I feel like I'm 12 again.
250
00:12:23,125 --> 00:12:26,296
I don't know how to act or
what to do or where to look.
251
00:12:26,297 --> 00:12:27,834
Hey, hey,
you're going to be fine.
252
00:12:27,835 --> 00:12:30,015
I'm sure it's all going
to come back to you.
253
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,386
Okay. Come on, let's go.
254
00:12:32,387 --> 00:12:35,074
All right, I'll see you inside.
255
00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,794
Good morning, welcome.
256
00:12:36,795 --> 00:12:40,790
Hello, father, or,
uh, your holiness.
257
00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:43,307
Sir... oh.
258
00:12:43,377 --> 00:12:46,245
That's really not necessary.
You can call me Ed.
259
00:12:46,246 --> 00:12:47,856
And that's...
that's my wedding ring.
260
00:12:47,857 --> 00:12:51,406
Oh, yes, right, of course, yes.
Married to God.
261
00:12:51,407 --> 00:12:52,956
Or is it Jesus?
262
00:12:52,957 --> 00:12:55,457
Actually, it's Joyce.
263
00:12:56,518 --> 00:12:59,018
Well, you're a lucky man.
264
00:12:59,036 --> 00:13:01,836
I mean, she's no Jesus, but...
265
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:05,975
So far, so good.
266
00:13:08,756 --> 00:13:11,576
So, this is your first
time in church in a while.
267
00:13:11,577 --> 00:13:14,284
Yes, since my
near confirmation.
268
00:13:14,285 --> 00:13:16,145
What's a "near confirmation"?
269
00:13:16,146 --> 00:13:18,187
La-la-la.
270
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:21,464
Well, I, um,
I went to church for a while.
271
00:13:21,465 --> 00:13:23,117
I wanted to find
something there.
272
00:13:23,118 --> 00:13:26,244
I was looking for a sign,
and then I finally got it.
273
00:13:26,245 --> 00:13:27,496
What was the sign?
274
00:13:27,497 --> 00:13:29,827
La-la-la.
275
00:13:29,828 --> 00:13:32,420
Uh, it doesn't matter.
276
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,534
Who knows? Maybe today you'll
find a different sign.
277
00:13:35,535 --> 00:13:36,686
We'll see.
278
00:13:36,687 --> 00:13:39,187
That means no.
279
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:42,116
I know it's sometimes difficult to be
in a strange place with new people,
280
00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:44,764
but I think you'll find we're
a very welcoming community.
281
00:13:44,765 --> 00:13:46,944
And I'll bet you'll get a kick
out of our Sunday school.
282
00:13:46,945 --> 00:13:48,056
Mrs. Orr is a hoot.
283
00:13:48,057 --> 00:13:50,294
Oh, uh, no, no,
he's going to stay with me.
284
00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:52,864
I know that God sees
everything and stuff
285
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,536
but he's got enough
on his plate,
286
00:13:54,537 --> 00:13:58,507
what with the Middle East
and-and-and Project Runway,
287
00:13:58,508 --> 00:14:00,274
- and, uh...
- La-la.
288
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:03,464
The kids really have a much better time
at Sunday school than at the service.
289
00:14:03,465 --> 00:14:04,767
They've got puppets.
290
00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:06,247
That sounds fun.
291
00:14:06,248 --> 00:14:07,524
Really, Ritchie?
292
00:14:07,525 --> 00:14:09,615
Aren't puppets scary,
with those dead eyes
293
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:13,376
and the real seeming
hair and everything?
294
00:14:16,472 --> 00:14:17,924
Is it in there?
295
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:18,875
Yes, sir.
296
00:14:18,876 --> 00:14:19,844
See you after, Mom.
297
00:14:19,845 --> 00:14:21,146
Oh, uh...
298
00:14:21,147 --> 00:14:22,857
Matthew, you go with him, okay?
299
00:14:22,858 --> 00:14:25,654
And if anybody hurts his feelings,
you get him out of there.
300
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:29,037
- What if someone hurts my feelings?
- Matthew, go.
301
00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:30,145
Are you ready?
302
00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:33,297
Uh, yeah, I-I don't know,
I'm not sure.
303
00:14:33,298 --> 00:14:35,775
How does your church
feel about gay people?
304
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:38,956
Oh, I think you'll feel
very welcome here.
305
00:14:38,957 --> 00:14:40,737
Oh, no, I'm not gay.
306
00:14:40,738 --> 00:14:44,845
Oh, well, we have a great many
gay people in our congregation.
307
00:14:44,846 --> 00:14:47,582
Oh, like that guy?
308
00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:50,605
We don't ask.
309
00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:52,435
Trust me.
310
00:14:52,436 --> 00:14:54,936
Shall we?
311
00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:03,787
And although there were no actual
mountains in that area of Galilee,
312
00:15:03,788 --> 00:15:08,253
it was nonetheless called
the Sermon on the...
313
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,935
Anyone remember?
314
00:15:09,936 --> 00:15:14,023
The Sermon on the Mmm... oww--
315
00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:15,204
Mouth.
316
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,426
No.
317
00:15:16,427 --> 00:15:19,265
Not the Sermon on
the Mouth, Benji.
318
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:20,954
The Sermon on the Mount.
319
00:15:20,955 --> 00:15:23,045
But that was very good.
320
00:15:23,046 --> 00:15:25,967
Uh... And the
Sermon on the Mount
321
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,997
is talked about
in the Book of...
322
00:15:28,998 --> 00:15:32,311
Maa... Math--
323
00:15:32,327 --> 00:15:33,685
Mouth.
324
00:15:33,686 --> 00:15:37,057
Not mouth.
It's never going to be mouth.
325
00:15:37,058 --> 00:15:39,558
- Matthew.
- What?
326
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:43,230
The Book of Matthew.
327
00:15:43,248 --> 00:15:45,844
And isn't that
interesting, Pippo?
328
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:48,422
Yes, it is, Mrs. Orr.
329
00:15:48,435 --> 00:15:50,555
Are you having fun, Pippo?
330
00:15:50,556 --> 00:15:53,056
A little.
331
00:15:56,448 --> 00:15:59,020
Is that a real monkey?
332
00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:02,985
We've really got to
get you to the zoo.
333
00:16:02,986 --> 00:16:06,396
Oh, well, since someone is
in the mood for talking,
334
00:16:06,397 --> 00:16:10,047
maybe you'd like to tell us
about the Sermon on the Mount.
335
00:16:10,048 --> 00:16:12,195
Uh, well,
in the Sermon on the Mount,
336
00:16:12,196 --> 00:16:14,884
Jesus was talking to his
disciples about the Golden Rule.
337
00:16:14,885 --> 00:16:18,095
You know, "Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you."
338
00:16:18,096 --> 00:16:20,104
Yes. Did you hear that, Pippo?
339
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,861
I sure did, Mrs. Orr.
340
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:30,997
I-I-I was Jesus'
understudy in Godspell.
341
00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:33,498
The guy never got sick.
342
00:16:33,865 --> 00:16:37,136
Learned all the lines,
never got to go on.
343
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,637
What's Godspell?
344
00:16:45,886 --> 00:16:48,317
And now we will read
from the scripture.
345
00:16:48,318 --> 00:16:50,818
All rise.
346
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:05,766
"How good and pleasant it is
347
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,806
when brothers live
together in unity.
348
00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:13,004
By all the earth-born race
His honors be expressed;
349
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:15,966
but saints that know
His heavenly grace
350
00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:17,966
should learn to
praise Him best."
351
00:17:17,967 --> 00:17:20,467
"Praise Him best."
352
00:17:22,915 --> 00:17:25,415
And now we will sing.
353
00:17:26,957 --> 00:17:29,782
# Nearer my God to thee #
354
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,982
# Nearer to thee #
355
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:39,650
# Even though it be a
cross that raiseth me... #
356
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:42,167
# Still all... #
357
00:17:51,416 --> 00:17:53,746
Psalm 148.
358
00:17:53,747 --> 00:17:57,297
- "When the Lord...
- "When the Lord...
359
00:18:02,017 --> 00:18:04,641
Why-why don't you take it?
360
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,520
# Day by day #
# Day by day #
361
00:18:10,615 --> 00:18:12,816
# Day by day #
# Day by day #
362
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:16,654
# Oh, dear Lord, #
# three things I pray #
363
00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:18,785
# Three things I pray... #
364
00:18:18,786 --> 00:18:21,286
Let us pray.
365
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,237
Sorry.
366
00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:34,032
It was... it was my stomach.
367
00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:39,440
I had a funky submarine
sandwich for breakfast.
368
00:18:45,927 --> 00:18:48,447
God, d-do we get
communion here?
369
00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:53,555
'Cause I think some of those
wafers might help settle things.
370
00:18:53,556 --> 00:18:57,836
And a little wine wouldn't hurt,
either, if you know what I mean.
371
00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:00,337
Oh, sorry.
372
00:19:05,987 --> 00:19:08,918
And that longing is
something we all experience,
373
00:19:08,919 --> 00:19:10,876
that longing for fulfillment.
374
00:19:10,877 --> 00:19:12,845
Oh, we try to sate
ourselves with more--
375
00:19:12,846 --> 00:19:14,496
more money, more work,
more things--
376
00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:18,523
but we remain
unfulfilled, lonely.
377
00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:21,036
- It's true.
- Yeah.
378
00:19:24,127 --> 00:19:26,605
It's only in moments of quiet,
379
00:19:26,606 --> 00:19:29,886
when the demands
of the day recede.
380
00:19:36,597 --> 00:19:39,097
Charge!
381
00:19:40,698 --> 00:19:45,416
It's only then that we find the
quiet that we need to reflect.
382
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,495
Let's create that
quiet right now
383
00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:49,996
and breathe deeply.
384
00:19:52,956 --> 00:19:54,636
As you breathe in and out,
385
00:19:54,637 --> 00:19:57,355
let those breaths bring
you closer to calm,
386
00:19:57,356 --> 00:19:59,518
closer to serenity.
387
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:01,646
Let those breaths bring
you closer to new insights
388
00:20:01,647 --> 00:20:04,575
and a fuller understanding
of the human condition.
389
00:20:04,576 --> 00:20:07,446
With each breath,
you'll be inspired to dig deeper,
390
00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:10,596
to be more compassionate,
to be more generous.
391
00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:14,176
And you will look around you
and realize you are not alone.
392
00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:16,075
And you don't need
to be afraid,
393
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:18,207
because the answers
to all your questions
394
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:20,752
have been there all along.
395
00:20:21,919 --> 00:20:24,027
Before we conclude,
396
00:20:24,028 --> 00:20:27,686
I'd like everyone to say
hello to a new friend.
397
00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:29,196
Christine Campbell.
398
00:20:29,197 --> 00:20:31,025
Everyone please make
her feel welcome.
399
00:20:31,026 --> 00:20:34,541
Oh, oh, thank you. Hi.
400
00:20:34,977 --> 00:20:37,196
Could this be my sign?
401
00:20:37,197 --> 00:20:40,836
Christine, would you mind joining
me up here for the final hymn?
402
00:20:40,837 --> 00:20:43,581
Oh, up to the front.
403
00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:46,056
I think this is my sign.
404
00:20:46,057 --> 00:20:47,297
So go.
405
00:20:47,298 --> 00:20:49,798
Kickoff's in ten minutes.
406
00:20:52,006 --> 00:20:57,662
# Amazing Grace, #
# how sweet the sound #
407
00:20:57,676 --> 00:21:02,963
# That saved a wretch like me #
408
00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:08,521
# I once was lost, #
# but now I'm found #
409
00:21:08,536 --> 00:21:14,464
# Was blind but now I see... #
410
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:24,891
# And grace my fears relieved #
411
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:30,603
# How precious did #
# that grace appear #
412
00:21:30,616 --> 00:21:35,311
# The hour I first believed. #
29944
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