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1
00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:09,381
[intro music]
2
00:00:09,461 --> 00:00:13,541
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:13,621 --> 00:00:18,581
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given
4
00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:21,061
by him upstairs.
5
00:00:21,140 --> 00:00:24,381
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:30,861
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
7
00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:33,900
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
8
00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:38,260
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
9
00:00:38,341 --> 00:00:42,940
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:47,220
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:47,301 --> 00:00:51,381
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:51,461 --> 00:00:55,860
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:59,421 --> 00:01:02,741
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:01:02,821 --> 00:01:05,420
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:09,621
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:13,780
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:13,861 --> 00:01:15,060
[laughing] [cough]
18
00:01:15,941 --> 00:01:17,341
Scatter!
19
00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:18,821
Party!
20
00:01:24,381 --> 00:01:26,101
[eerie music]
21
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,780
[Frank] Forget your tracker mortgages
and your ISAs,
22
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,741
your pension schemes,
saving for a rainy day,
23
00:01:34,821 --> 00:01:37,140
you know, planning for your old age.
24
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,901
Chances are you'll be off
your fuckin' trolley anyway,
25
00:01:39,981 --> 00:01:41,981
brain ravaged by dementia.
26
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,621
You'll have all that money in the bank
but won't be able to remember
27
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,101
which fuckin' bank you put it in.
28
00:01:46,181 --> 00:01:47,621
And even if you did,
29
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:51,500
some shitbag politician
will claw the lot back in taxes.
30
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:54,981
So, enjoy the here and now,
31
00:01:55,060 --> 00:01:59,301
this day, this minute, this second.
32
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:03,981
Carpe diem, I say.
33
00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:06,860
Well, not me, you know,
Seneca, to be precise.
34
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:08,820
Seize the day.
35
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:11,461
Well, some of it.
Obviously need to get some time out
36
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,741
for a few scoops,
bit of shut-eye, bit of how's your pater,
37
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,941
but you get my drift, yeah?
38
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,501
Drop 'em.
39
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:25,341
I said, drop 'em.
40
00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:27,820
[James Bond theme]
41
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,421
-[Jamie] Say my name!
-Oh!
42
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:47,061
Oh! Seven... and a half!
43
00:02:52,061 --> 00:02:53,061
[gunshot]
44
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,741
[James Bond theme]
45
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,781
[Frank groans]
46
00:03:28,781 --> 00:03:32,221
-[mumbles]
-[Debbie] Oh, for God's sake!
47
00:03:32,301 --> 00:03:35,741
Just pay attention a minute,
we need to sort out Liam's trip tomorrow.
48
00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:36,901
Are you gonna come or not?
49
00:03:36,980 --> 00:03:38,741
There needs to be a parent present
and I don't want--
50
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:42,741
Norm, have you got any thick sticky tape?
Only I want to strap this to me thigh.
51
00:03:46,181 --> 00:03:47,581
What's going on?
52
00:03:51,301 --> 00:03:52,741
Right, show it me!
53
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,260
[Carl] Give it to me!
Pass it here, pass it here!
54
00:03:55,341 --> 00:03:56,540
Debbie!
55
00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:58,100
[Debbie] Dad, hide it!
56
00:03:58,181 --> 00:03:59,741
[all] No! Not the school gerbil!
57
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:00,901
[indistinct shouting]
58
00:04:03,061 --> 00:04:04,221
[Debbie] Okay, okay!
59
00:04:04,301 --> 00:04:07,420
Look, I entered Liam into a competition,
and he's down to the last three.
60
00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:08,820
[microwave beeps]
61
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,380
-Blackpool.
-Tomorrow.
62
00:04:10,461 --> 00:04:12,621
It's to be the face
of a nationwide ad campaign,
63
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:15,621
but they do a few test shots,
see how he looks, make their decision.
64
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,060
If he wins,
they do the shoot there and then.
65
00:04:18,141 --> 00:04:20,420
And how come I was the last to know?
66
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:25,421
We didn't think you'd approve.
You know, exploitation of a minor an' all.
67
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:29,581
Well, look what child stardom did
to the Artful Dodger from Oliver.
68
00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:32,461
You know,
and then there's poor Nicholas Lyndhurst.
69
00:04:32,541 --> 00:04:34,060
Well, he's not dead.
70
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,740
Yeah, but have you seen
the fuckin' state of him?
71
00:04:35,821 --> 00:04:37,021
And I get paid if I win.
72
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,581
So... what time do we leave?
73
00:04:44,661 --> 00:04:45,821
[Liam sighs]
74
00:04:49,861 --> 00:04:52,341
You're in sunny lbiza
and we're off to Blackpool!
75
00:04:52,421 --> 00:04:54,261
I know, yeah, gutted for you.
76
00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:56,620
You'll walk it, Liam, mate.
All the best, pal.
77
00:04:56,701 --> 00:04:57,541
[door opens]
78
00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,901
Stella's due a feed,
bottle's in the fridge.
79
00:04:59,981 --> 00:05:02,821
Now it's Liam's big day tomorrow,
so he needs an early night.
80
00:05:03,381 --> 00:05:05,940
You could do with one too,
you look like death warmed up.
81
00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:07,261
Bye, Monica!
82
00:05:07,821 --> 00:05:10,021
I want us all making a good impression!
83
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,461
This could be
the start of something for Liam,
84
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:15,701
chance of a future without minimum wage,
stamped all over it.
85
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,740
[Ian] Hiya, Mum!
I can hear you a mile off.
86
00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:18,661
Ah!
87
00:05:19,661 --> 00:05:20,861
I meant to text ya!
88
00:05:21,461 --> 00:05:26,141
I know what those Mediterranean types
can be like, straight, gay or bi,
89
00:05:26,221 --> 00:05:28,341
I imagine they're all the same,
so use a condom.
90
00:05:28,421 --> 00:05:29,341
Out!
91
00:05:29,421 --> 00:05:32,341
And no matter how much they might try
and convince you otherwise,
92
00:05:32,421 --> 00:05:33,981
don't swallow!
93
00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:36,581
[Liam] Can you catch an STD through oral?
94
00:05:36,661 --> 00:05:38,141
[James
eme]
95
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,901
-[indistinct chatter]
-[music playing]
96
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,821
[Jamie] All right, Lillian?
97
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,221
You okay?
98
00:05:57,301 --> 00:05:59,101
Think it's just a bit of wind.
99
00:06:03,461 --> 00:06:06,461
I know it's gonna be a late one,
but if you stick to regulars only,
100
00:06:06,541 --> 00:06:09,060
and keep the music down,
we'll turn a blind eye.
101
00:06:09,141 --> 00:06:10,500
Nice one, Stan.
102
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,661
[tapping]
She's got the hots for you there, Micky.
103
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,940
Oh, not my type.
104
00:06:21,661 --> 00:06:23,940
It's got a fanny,
what more your type do you need?
105
00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:25,060
Go on, buy her a drink.
106
00:06:25,141 --> 00:06:27,500
-Aw...
-If he doesn't want to!
107
00:06:27,581 --> 00:06:29,221
Once he gets a little sniff of her,
108
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,500
his brain'll switch off,
and his cock'll kick in.
109
00:06:31,581 --> 00:06:33,380
Guaranteed!
110
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,021
[Kelly and Carl laugh]
111
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,421
Mayday.
112
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,261
-Eh?
-View To A Kill.
113
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,940
-And you are...?
-Er, Micky.
114
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,981
I mean, right, yeah...
115
00:06:47,221 --> 00:06:49,021
Daniel Craig, innit?
116
00:06:49,101 --> 00:06:50,820
Er... James...
117
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:54,141
Casino!
118
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,180
I need a slash.
119
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:04,581
-Vast improvement, Frank.
-[mumbling] Fuck off!
120
00:07:04,661 --> 00:07:06,541
-I could do you for that.
-[mobile rings]
121
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,060
-In your dreams.
-Evenin', all!
122
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:12,620
-[Tom] Stan, Stan!
-Tom?
123
00:07:12,701 --> 00:07:16,060
[Tom] They've got me, the lock-ups,
back of Stansfield Road!
124
00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:18,981
5-7-0-5 to base, backup required!
125
00:07:23,421 --> 00:07:25,861
I was hoping that wasn't all padding.
126
00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:27,981
Oh, look, I'm sorry. I can't!
127
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:29,820
I mean, I'd love to, but...
128
00:07:29,901 --> 00:07:31,981
me girlfriend's at home, pregnant,
you know what I mean,
129
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,380
with triplets and that,
she's due any sec...fuck me!
130
00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:36,581
[giggles] You wait your turn.
131
00:07:36,661 --> 00:07:39,861
But how did you know I was...
you know, how could you tell I--?
132
00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,661
You were the only man in there,
other than me,
133
00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,861
who knew all the words
to "Diamonds Are Forever."
134
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:47,861
Now... what's on offer?
135
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:50,221
I'm packing eight.
136
00:07:50,301 --> 00:07:54,341
And we're talking lmperial, not metric,
if you get my [in pain] drift!
137
00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:55,901
[James Bond theme begins]
138
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,421
[breathing nervously]
139
00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:24,461
[suspenseful music]
140
00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:38,861
[shouting] Aargh!
141
00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:42,741
Oh, no, no! Fuck!
142
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,701
[sobbing] Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!
143
00:08:45,781 --> 00:08:47,861
Fuck! Fuck! [slamming]
144
00:08:55,181 --> 00:08:56,421
[chuckling]
145
00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:01,220
[panting] [giggling]
146
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,301
-[indistinct chatter]
-[music playing]
147
00:09:07,501 --> 00:09:09,301
There's Pinky and Perky!
148
00:09:09,381 --> 00:09:11,781
-Your cozzy's spot on.
-Thank you.
149
00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:13,021
-Same again?
-Yeah.
150
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,061
Give the lad a hand.
151
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,021
-I just wanted to see you again.
-Well, it isn't exactly the best place.
152
00:09:28,781 --> 00:09:31,781
Please, go! I'll call you.
153
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,261
What? What!
154
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,781
I'd forgotten how nice
your smile was, that's all.
155
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:39,340
[people laughing]
156
00:09:39,421 --> 00:09:40,541
[clapping]
157
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:47,340
See you tomorrow, yeah?
And wear something casual.
158
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,901
And don't forget to shave.
159
00:09:51,701 --> 00:09:54,100
Have a break.
I'll check on you when it settles.
160
00:10:01,741 --> 00:10:03,261
Sexiest women on the estate.
161
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:09,661
I only made it to number 17?
162
00:10:09,741 --> 00:10:13,860
It's all down to points, apparently.
Face, tits, arse, legs.
163
00:10:13,941 --> 00:10:15,541
Yeah, my Kelly's got all of them.
164
00:10:15,621 --> 00:10:17,541
And what do you mark
the blokes out of, then?
165
00:10:17,621 --> 00:10:19,340
Personality, intelligence?
166
00:10:19,421 --> 00:10:23,100
Length, girth, stamina, if you must know.
167
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:26,220
Which is the reason why
my little black book's so fuckin' empty.
168
00:10:26,301 --> 00:10:28,220
-[Kelly laughing]
-What's the S stand for?
169
00:10:28,301 --> 00:10:29,661
If I've shagged 'em.
170
00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:33,340
B for a blow job, W for a wank,
F for finger.
171
00:10:33,421 --> 00:10:34,541
What's UTS, then?
172
00:10:34,621 --> 00:10:35,541
Up the shitter.
173
00:10:35,621 --> 00:10:37,301
Micky, look after the bar
for five minutes, will ya?
174
00:10:37,381 --> 00:10:38,701
I'm on a night out!
175
00:10:38,781 --> 00:10:40,261
Harry Potter?
176
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,301
Cock off, Harry Potter!
177
00:10:42,381 --> 00:10:45,860
I'm Boris Grishenko, Goldeneye!
178
00:10:45,941 --> 00:10:47,581
Listen, no freebies and no credit.
179
00:10:49,141 --> 00:10:51,821
Leave 'em on. Put 'em on, they look good.
180
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,061
[ominous music]
181
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,740
[Jamie] Karen!
182
00:11:09,821 --> 00:11:11,740
Ambulance, quick!
183
00:11:18,501 --> 00:11:19,860
[indistinct chatter]
184
00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:24,220
Me and you, son,
we'll go in the ambulance.
185
00:11:24,301 --> 00:11:26,581
-I'll get the car, follow with the boys.
-What about this place?
186
00:11:26,661 --> 00:11:27,621
Leave it with me.
187
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,541
[Carrie] No, no. Panic over, panic over.
188
00:11:36,621 --> 00:11:38,781
[Tom] Idiot, wasting our time.
189
00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:40,581
How'd you get to be this childish?
190
00:11:40,661 --> 00:11:43,340
Ask Stan, he started it.
191
00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:47,141
Salt in my tea, porn mags in my file.
[chuckling]
192
00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:49,381
You're lucky
I didn't leave you there all night!
193
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:52,220
They pulled that unit from a near riot
in Ancoats for you.
194
00:11:52,301 --> 00:11:54,340
First thing you do,
go grovel to the Super.
195
00:11:54,421 --> 00:11:57,781
-Second, find Stan and apologize.
-He'll be fine.
196
00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,181
[chuckling] You know Stan,
he's probably watching us now,
197
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,740
pissing himself laughing.
198
00:12:19,661 --> 00:12:24,781
[sighs] Bar person,
another three pints, on my tab.
199
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:26,941
Cash only tonight, pal.
200
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:28,781
Worth a try.
201
00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:30,821
[puffing]
202
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:33,181
Jesus, it's like a morgue in here!
203
00:12:34,661 --> 00:12:36,061
[music playing over the radio]
204
00:12:36,141 --> 00:12:39,501
[Frank] Oh, fuck me!
Bang on cue, Goldminger.
205
00:12:39,581 --> 00:12:41,220
Oh, you look great, Lillian.
206
00:12:41,301 --> 00:12:43,501
Must've taken a bit of time
to get all that together.
207
00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:46,701
[Lillian] No, I've had this for years.
Used to wear it for my Brendan.
208
00:12:46,781 --> 00:12:48,620
-[Monica] Oh?
-[Lillian] You know, Sunday nights, like.
209
00:12:49,821 --> 00:12:50,781
[slam]
210
00:12:57,661 --> 00:12:58,821
[machines beeping]
211
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,340
-She'll be okay.
-I hope so.
212
00:13:03,501 --> 00:13:06,980
I didn't even know
you were trying for a baby.
213
00:13:07,061 --> 00:13:08,980
-We weren't.
-Course you weren't.
214
00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:13,181
No Maguire man tries for a baby.
I only had to hang my kecks on the bedpost
215
00:13:13,261 --> 00:13:17,181
and your mother was up the spout.
You'll all be the same.
216
00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:18,261
Well...
217
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:24,381
Have you been to the toilet?
218
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,261
-[Liam] Mhm.
-Good lad!
219
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,581
[Frank] I'm all dressed up, you know?
220
00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:30,220
[Debbie]
No, come on! Where you going? Out!
221
00:13:30,301 --> 00:13:33,181
-What do you mean, "Where you going?"
-No, not that way! Out!
222
00:13:34,261 --> 00:13:35,381
[Frank] Bloody hell!
223
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:39,980
We'll go via the A roads.
224
00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:42,061
[Frank] Fuck! That'll take forever.
225
00:13:42,141 --> 00:13:44,381
No, it'll be nice driving
round the countryside.
226
00:13:45,181 --> 00:13:47,581
[Frank] We've got three hours
to get to Blackpool,
227
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,021
we're taking a longer route,
for what, aesthetics?
228
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,301
[engine running]
229
00:13:52,181 --> 00:13:53,860
[Frank] Am I being ignored here?
230
00:13:56,141 --> 00:13:57,460
I'll take that as a yes.
231
00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:00,381
Guys!
232
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:01,821
[Stella cries]
233
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,740
[pensive music]
234
00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:34,061
[tires screeching]
235
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,061
Shit!
236
00:14:48,661 --> 00:14:49,620
[Paddy] Full Irish.
237
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:50,781
White pudding, the lot.
238
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:53,141
I don't wanna be eating
any of that hospital food,
239
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:54,340
end up in a fuckin' coma.
240
00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:58,100
-Thanks, Mam.
-How is she?
241
00:14:59,381 --> 00:15:01,901
The doctor said
she should be discharged this morning.
242
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:03,021
And she's okay?
243
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,061
Yeah, she will be.
244
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,421
[Paddy] Brings it all back.
245
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:13,340
You lose a child,
your life's never the same.
246
00:15:18,181 --> 00:15:20,181
We'll wait for her,
bring her home together.
247
00:15:20,261 --> 00:15:23,301
Show her we care,
that the whole family's behind her.
248
00:15:23,941 --> 00:15:26,661
-She doesn't like much fuss, Mum.
-Or says she doesn't.
249
00:15:27,581 --> 00:15:28,901
But at a time like this.
250
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:32,261
I tell you what might be
a better idea, Mam.
251
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:33,901
How's about we go back
and get pub ready, eh?
252
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,740
Your mother says we wait, we wait.
253
00:15:35,821 --> 00:15:38,061
But Karen's not gonna wanna
come back to...
254
00:15:39,181 --> 00:15:41,941
Well, you know?
No-one's cleaned up yet, have they?
255
00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:46,100
You're right. We've got things to do.
256
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:48,661
We'll make sure the flat's spick and span.
257
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,340
[kiss] There won't be a pin out of place.
258
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,181
[soft music]
259
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:07,740
[grunting]
260
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,901
God, you're still glowing
like you've had a fortnight in Chernobyl.
261
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,220
Do you think we should flick it
with some Holy Water?
262
00:16:14,301 --> 00:16:17,061
You know, in case he's still there?
Give him a bit of a send-off?
263
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,581
There's not gonna be much
of that here, is there?
264
00:16:18,661 --> 00:16:22,100
Could get some soda water or summat,
I'll give it a blessing.
265
00:16:28,781 --> 00:16:30,301
[Micky] Ugh! Aargh!
266
00:16:33,061 --> 00:16:34,220
You two all right?
267
00:16:34,301 --> 00:16:35,740
Fine, thanks.
268
00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:41,701
We got you one
with a mattress protector on it,
269
00:16:41,781 --> 00:16:47,021
so if you have any mishaps in future
you just give it a quick wipe, sorted.
270
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:48,620
Sorry, mate.
271
00:16:49,781 --> 00:16:50,701
I...
272
00:16:52,581 --> 00:16:54,740
I know what it is
you're going through, mate.
273
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:55,941
You reckon?
274
00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:58,980
Kelly had that phantom pregnancy,
remember?
275
00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:02,500
Felt like I'd been robbed.
276
00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:05,781
Beaten senseless and... robbed.
277
00:17:07,061 --> 00:17:09,061
And no one knows that pain, mate.
278
00:17:09,781 --> 00:17:11,541
Unless you've been there, that is.
279
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,261
You should've said.
280
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:17,180
-Not like you could've done owt, is it?
-[sighs] No.
281
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,581
We could go out for a drink
sometime, couldn't we?
282
00:17:22,461 --> 00:17:24,340
-Head into town, maybe?
-Yeah.
283
00:17:25,781 --> 00:17:26,701
Yeah, that'd be good.
284
00:18:04,861 --> 00:18:07,021
[Jamie] What's with the fucking flowers?
285
00:18:08,861 --> 00:18:11,341
I know this couldn't have come
at a worse time.
286
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,221
[Paddy]
The lad you left in charge last night...
287
00:18:17,301 --> 00:18:18,741
Joe?
288
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:21,501
We checked the safe. It's empty.
289
00:18:21,581 --> 00:18:24,461
God knows how much of you
took over the bar last night.
290
00:18:24,541 --> 00:18:27,741
I've not seen people knocking 'em
back like that in a long while.
291
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:32,781
Straight to voicemail.
292
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,101
[Mimi] Tried ringing Mandy.
293
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:37,341
She's not answering.
Wait till I get my hands on her.
294
00:18:42,781 --> 00:18:44,861
You stupid, stupid bastard!
295
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:48,061
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
296
00:18:48,141 --> 00:18:50,660
-It was a joke!
-A joke?
297
00:18:50,741 --> 00:18:53,341
Led Stan to believe you'd been murdered
just to get one up on him?
298
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:55,101
I'm as disgusted as you are.
299
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,061
I tried his mobile earlier,
he isn't picking up.
300
00:18:59,141 --> 00:19:01,261
Well, he might answer
when he sees it's me.
301
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,660
-[mobile rings]
-[door opens and closes]
302
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:04,821
[Yvonne] Stan?
303
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:08,981
-[screams in panic]
-[Yvonne] No, It's okay!
304
00:19:09,061 --> 00:19:10,341
[Tom] I'm not dead!
305
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,461
-Stan, it was a joke!
-[Carrie] It was a wind-up!
306
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,700
Where've you been?
We've all been worried sick.
307
00:19:14,781 --> 00:19:15,621
[gagging]
308
00:19:20,101 --> 00:19:23,700
-I think you'd better go.
-[Carrie] Call me, when he starts talking.
309
00:19:23,781 --> 00:19:26,821
[Tom] Stan? Mate, I'm sorry!
310
00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:41,261
-[Yvonne and kids cheering]
-Well played!
311
00:19:41,341 --> 00:19:42,781
[laughing]
312
00:19:42,861 --> 00:19:44,261
You two keep your mouths shut,
313
00:19:44,341 --> 00:19:46,541
and there'll be plenty more
where that came from.
314
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:51,021
-[Stan] Round one to us, I think!
-Thank you!
315
00:19:51,781 --> 00:19:52,660
[kiss]
316
00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:54,900
[engine stops suddenly]
317
00:20:02,061 --> 00:20:04,381
Norma, we've got
less than two hours to get there!
318
00:20:04,461 --> 00:20:05,660
You think I don't know that?
319
00:20:05,741 --> 00:20:07,660
Well, call the breakdown services.
320
00:20:07,741 --> 00:20:09,420
My membership ran out a month ago.
321
00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:13,741
Well, look, let's pool our resources
and see how much we've got, eh?
322
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:14,781
We won't have enough.
323
00:20:14,861 --> 00:20:17,461
And even if we had the cash,
time's totally against us.
324
00:20:18,621 --> 00:20:19,621
-Great!
-Debbie!
325
00:20:20,861 --> 00:20:21,741
I'm sorry!
326
00:20:23,621 --> 00:20:27,180
Just imagine...
Liam's whole life could've changed,
327
00:20:27,261 --> 00:20:29,180
[snaps fingers] just like that.
328
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,861
Happens, doesn't it?
329
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,101
I said I'm sorry.
330
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:36,101
His chance to escape... that place.
331
00:20:36,180 --> 00:20:38,021
Those people!
332
00:20:38,101 --> 00:20:39,741
We are those people.
333
00:20:42,861 --> 00:20:43,861
[smacks lips]
334
00:20:49,341 --> 00:20:50,261
[kid] Oh!
335
00:20:51,741 --> 00:20:53,221
[tense music]
336
00:20:54,341 --> 00:20:55,660
-It was a joke!
-[punch]
337
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:18,021
There's plenty of time for kids.
338
00:21:18,101 --> 00:21:20,981
You're both young, healthy...
Plenty of time.
339
00:21:21,061 --> 00:21:23,940
Mam, I'm all right, honest.
340
00:21:30,261 --> 00:21:31,781
[mobile beeps]
341
00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:57,341
[Liam] Ah, yes!
342
00:21:57,420 --> 00:22:00,061
Hey, no smoking! Can't you read?
343
00:22:00,141 --> 00:22:02,900
Yeah, that's why
I don't work in a fuckin' café.
344
00:22:02,981 --> 00:22:03,981
[mouthing]
345
00:22:05,621 --> 00:22:06,981
[Frank] So what now, Einstein?
346
00:22:07,061 --> 00:22:09,301
We'll need a fucking miracle
to get there on time.
347
00:22:09,381 --> 00:22:10,821
[heavenly music]
348
00:22:12,301 --> 00:22:14,061
[heavenly choir chanting]
349
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:31,900
[Frank and Norma arguing]
350
00:22:51,101 --> 00:22:52,381
[imitates driving]
351
00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:55,460
[engine starts]
352
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:58,741
Norma! Norma, it's started!
353
00:22:58,821 --> 00:23:00,460
[Norma] All, come on!
354
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:09,460
[Frank] Heh, heh!
Loaves into fishes! Water into wine!
355
00:23:09,541 --> 00:23:10,700
-[Monica] Wait!
-[tires screeching]
356
00:23:10,781 --> 00:23:12,221
-[Frank] Blind men can see!
-Wait!
357
00:23:12,301 --> 00:23:13,621
[Frank] City win the league!
-[Monica] Wait!
358
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,301
Hurry up!
359
00:23:15,381 --> 00:23:16,861
For fuck's sake!
360
00:23:25,301 --> 00:23:28,101
[Monica gasps deeply] Oh, I'm shagged out!
361
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:32,621
Hey, Blackpool,
here we fucking come, mate!
362
00:23:50,301 --> 00:23:52,261
The wailing wall's gone, thank fuck.
363
00:23:53,861 --> 00:23:55,061
I said your mam's gone.
364
00:23:55,741 --> 00:23:58,261
We need crisps,
cheese 'n' onion and cashews.
365
00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:05,021
Jamie... cheese 'n' onion and cashews.
366
00:24:05,101 --> 00:24:07,861
-I'll get down the cellar.
-We're out.
367
00:24:08,420 --> 00:24:11,221
-Cash 'n' carry, then.
-No time.
368
00:24:12,501 --> 00:24:14,821
Nip round to Yvonne's
and see if she can sub us.
369
00:24:18,581 --> 00:24:20,621
You are all right about all this,
aren't ya?
370
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:23,621
Yeah, fine.
371
00:24:27,101 --> 00:24:28,541
Wasn't like it was planned.
372
00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:31,700
If it had've been, I'd be gutted.
373
00:24:31,781 --> 00:24:34,541
We got things to do, places to see.
374
00:24:36,381 --> 00:24:39,061
It's gonna be a lot easier
doing that round-the-world trip
375
00:24:39,141 --> 00:24:41,261
without a nappy bag and a buggy, eh?
376
00:24:43,581 --> 00:24:46,660
I know I've never really talked about it,
but, well, kids,
377
00:24:48,101 --> 00:24:49,741
cards on the table, Jamie,
378
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,541
I've never really wanted any.
379
00:24:54,261 --> 00:24:56,341
-You?
-[sniffs] No.
380
00:25:00,821 --> 00:25:02,061
-[kiss]
-Crisps, yeah?
381
00:25:19,621 --> 00:25:22,781
Thought I'd get this back to you
before you sent the sniffer dogs out.
382
00:25:23,301 --> 00:25:24,700
Got your messages.
383
00:25:24,781 --> 00:25:26,900
And the other eleven from my mother.
384
00:25:26,981 --> 00:25:27,940
Nice to be trusted.
385
00:25:28,021 --> 00:25:30,420
-Sorry, things've been, you know--
-No matter how they are,
386
00:25:30,501 --> 00:25:31,821
I'd never rob my own brother.
387
00:25:31,900 --> 00:25:34,781
I'm just glad to see the back of it.
I haven't slept all night.
388
00:25:34,861 --> 00:25:37,381
-And the till roll's in there.
-Nice one, Joe.
389
00:25:38,541 --> 00:25:40,781
-I'm sorry, Sis.
-Forgiven.
390
00:25:40,861 --> 00:25:43,381
Best phone Mum and Dad,
let them know you've surfaced.
391
00:25:45,541 --> 00:25:46,660
Listen, if you're not doing anything,
392
00:25:46,741 --> 00:25:48,501
I could do with a hand
getting this place ready for tonight.
393
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:49,460
Sure.
394
00:25:49,541 --> 00:25:51,700
And cheers for last night, man,
you're a lifesaver.
395
00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:53,581
And I'm sorry too, mate.
396
00:25:55,261 --> 00:25:57,021
I don't really know what to say, but...
397
00:25:57,981 --> 00:25:59,781
A kid would've just cramped me style.
398
00:26:03,341 --> 00:26:05,981
-I said I'd give Jamie a hand.
-It'll have to wait.
399
00:26:06,061 --> 00:26:08,301
-We need to be somewhere.
-Where?
400
00:26:17,821 --> 00:26:19,541
Jamie and Karen should be here by now.
401
00:26:20,061 --> 00:26:23,501
Mandy's been in touch.
They're not up to it, God help them.
402
00:26:24,341 --> 00:26:26,061
Hit them hard. Knew it would.
403
00:26:26,781 --> 00:26:27,660
[Micky] Mam...
404
00:26:27,741 --> 00:26:28,660
Dad.
405
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:34,581
This... is my girlfriend, Grace.
406
00:26:35,581 --> 00:26:38,741
-Grace Jones.
-Jones? You Welsh, then?
407
00:26:40,460 --> 00:26:41,541
Sorry for your loss.
408
00:26:41,621 --> 00:26:43,460
Thanks. Would you like a drink?
409
00:26:43,541 --> 00:26:45,220
No. I'm all right, thanks.
410
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,900
Seen the size of her feet?
411
00:26:53,621 --> 00:26:57,781
-I thought you said it were a miscarriage?
-[Micky] Oh, that? It's symbolic.
412
00:26:57,861 --> 00:26:59,381
Some bollocks more like.
413
00:27:00,180 --> 00:27:02,700
[Yvonne]
If you ask me, you've had a lucky escape.
414
00:27:02,781 --> 00:27:04,261
Me? I wouldn't be without mine,
415
00:27:04,341 --> 00:27:06,220
but parenthood isn't all
it's cracked up to be.
416
00:27:06,301 --> 00:27:09,660
Look at Angelina and Brad
tripping about with their brood in tow,
417
00:27:09,741 --> 00:27:11,621
make it look like a piece of piss.
418
00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:13,581
All flip-flops and cheesecloth.
419
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:15,021
I'll get you a box back tomorrow.
420
00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:16,660
Hey, you can guarantee,
when they're at home,
421
00:27:16,741 --> 00:27:18,180
straight off to the nanny's.
422
00:27:18,261 --> 00:27:20,900
Angie and Brad feet up,
couple of cans, watching telly.
423
00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:24,101
Can you imagine her
changing a shitty nappy?
424
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:25,101
Can you?
425
00:27:25,180 --> 00:27:28,101
With those nails,
she'd rip their arse to shreds!
426
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:29,581
[store door opens]
427
00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:36,301
[melancholic music]
428
00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:43,940
[slamming]
429
00:27:51,061 --> 00:27:52,700
He used to be so full of life.
430
00:27:52,781 --> 00:27:55,261
Now, since Tom's...
431
00:27:56,101 --> 00:27:57,700
-Prank.
-Prank.
432
00:27:57,781 --> 00:28:01,261
It's like...
there's a light gone out in his eyes.
433
00:28:01,341 --> 00:28:03,101
[Meena] He's not half the man he was.
434
00:28:03,180 --> 00:28:04,981
[sighs] Don't overdo the tears.
435
00:28:05,061 --> 00:28:06,660
So how much are we making on this?
436
00:28:06,741 --> 00:28:09,981
While Stan's on full wages,
30 pounds a week each.
437
00:28:10,061 --> 00:28:12,301
If he gets compensation, a 10% cut.
438
00:28:13,021 --> 00:28:15,621
Two-week, family holiday a year, Florida.
439
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:17,741
-But--
-Not open to negotiation.
440
00:28:18,341 --> 00:28:19,660
And a Christmas bonus.
441
00:28:19,741 --> 00:28:22,381
-Yeah, but we don't do Christmas.
-Stan does.
442
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:24,341
Anyway, if it all goes tits up,
443
00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:26,420
it'll be six months
in Strangeways for fraud.
444
00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:31,781
Sorry.
445
00:28:36,861 --> 00:28:38,021
Nine.
446
00:28:40,741 --> 00:28:42,381
[relaxed music playing]
447
00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:46,021
-What the fuck's that?
-[Shane] Pressie for the nipper.
448
00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:47,940
Manchester United?
449
00:28:50,301 --> 00:28:51,741
Fuck that!
450
00:28:57,101 --> 00:29:00,220
-[Shane] Celtic?
-Name me one football team from Belfast.
451
00:29:10,420 --> 00:29:11,301
What?
452
00:29:18,940 --> 00:29:21,180
I know it's mental, you know it's mental.
453
00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:23,101
Just go along with it for my sake, yeah?
454
00:29:34,621 --> 00:29:38,301
[Mimi] Named him after the patron saint
of unborn children, Saint Gerard.
455
00:29:38,381 --> 00:29:39,220
What, Stevie?
456
00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:41,980
Gerard Majella.
457
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:47,460
Someone just told us in the pub.
458
00:29:47,541 --> 00:29:48,781
I didn't believe it.
459
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:51,660
I don't know why I didn't believe it!
460
00:29:51,741 --> 00:29:53,621
-I thought you'd told them?
-How could I tell them?
461
00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:56,021
You knew about this?
462
00:29:56,101 --> 00:29:58,501
I just thought it'd be best
to get it out the way
463
00:29:58,581 --> 00:30:00,460
and hopefully you'd never find out.
464
00:30:00,541 --> 00:30:03,061
-You'd never know.
-Well, it's a bit late now, innit?
465
00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:10,621
Fuck right off.
466
00:30:11,541 --> 00:30:13,581
That's the grief talking.
467
00:30:13,660 --> 00:30:17,301
-Have you been sniffing your own produce?
-You're upset, but watch your mouth.
468
00:30:17,381 --> 00:30:19,581
You gonna let her talk to us like that?
469
00:30:19,660 --> 00:30:21,581
Are you gonna cancel
this fuckin' carnival?
470
00:30:21,660 --> 00:30:22,900
A child died.
471
00:30:22,980 --> 00:30:25,180
It wasn't at the stage
to be a boy or a girl, Dad!
472
00:30:25,261 --> 00:30:27,700
It was a boy.
A Maguire's first born is always a boy!
473
00:30:27,781 --> 00:30:31,541
I was three weeks late for my period.
For God's sake!
474
00:30:33,381 --> 00:30:34,980
This is warped.
475
00:30:35,061 --> 00:30:37,781
Gerard had a soul, and we're saving it.
476
00:30:40,141 --> 00:30:42,420
I should be fucking furious,
477
00:30:42,501 --> 00:30:45,220
but d'you know what? I'm not.
478
00:30:45,301 --> 00:30:47,541
Because I had a lucky escape.
479
00:30:47,621 --> 00:30:50,541
Imagine giving birth
to anything with their blood in it.
480
00:30:50,621 --> 00:30:53,341
You'll thank us come Judgement Day!
481
00:30:53,420 --> 00:30:55,900
No grandson of mine's
knocking about in purgatory.
482
00:30:55,980 --> 00:31:00,021
I want him at God's side
before the Devil knows he's dead!
483
00:31:00,101 --> 00:31:03,741
I was gonna ask them, did they want
to put anything in the coffin?
484
00:31:03,821 --> 00:31:05,861
Did you put my pressie and letter in?
485
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,660
I'm sorry, I can't
486
00:31:25,741 --> 00:31:28,741
-But I thought you liked me!
-I did... I do.
487
00:31:28,821 --> 00:31:32,900
But this? I never thought
I'd say this, but all this?
488
00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:35,341
It's just too fucking weird.
489
00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:37,061
[dramatic music]
490
00:31:38,781 --> 00:31:40,101
[Paddy] Micky!
491
00:31:47,021 --> 00:31:48,381
[upbeat music]
492
00:31:48,460 --> 00:31:49,781
[Norma] I love the seaside.
493
00:31:49,861 --> 00:31:52,261
There's something quintessentially British
about it, don't you think?
494
00:31:52,341 --> 00:31:54,980
[Liam] What's quintessential mean?
495
00:31:55,061 --> 00:31:56,141
[Frank] Crap!
496
00:31:56,220 --> 00:31:58,621
[Norma] No, I love it here.
497
00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:02,021
[Monica] It's got a certain charm,
but I prefer Lesbos.
498
00:32:08,501 --> 00:32:11,700
[woman] We're delighted you allowed Liam
to attend, truly delighted.
499
00:32:11,781 --> 00:32:15,261
-So, er, what are his chances?
-Good. Very good.
500
00:32:15,341 --> 00:32:17,621
In fact...
501
00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:19,220
he's the last of the boys
to be seen today,
502
00:32:19,301 --> 00:32:21,660
and, well, to be honest,
I think the best, facially.
503
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:23,061
So, is it you who decides?
504
00:32:23,141 --> 00:32:25,700
-It's a joint decision.
-[Monica] And when will you make it?
505
00:32:25,781 --> 00:32:28,821
Well, we'll take a few test shots,
see how he looks, about half an hour?
506
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:30,460
Oh, so he could win it?
507
00:32:30,541 --> 00:32:33,940
[woman] Well, it depends on how he reacts
in front of the camera, the pressure.
508
00:32:34,021 --> 00:32:36,381
You know, a lot of boys
don't like that much attention.
509
00:32:36,460 --> 00:32:39,740
Oh, he loves it, loves being the centre
of attention, doesn't he, Frank?
510
00:32:39,821 --> 00:32:41,381
Yeah, a born performer.
511
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:44,180
And a fantastic face!
Tells its own story, don't you think?
512
00:32:44,261 --> 00:32:46,101
[Monica giggles]
513
00:32:46,180 --> 00:32:48,220
[Yvonne] All right, Carl?
514
00:32:48,301 --> 00:32:50,261
-Seventy p, love.
-[coins clinking]
515
00:32:50,341 --> 00:32:53,501
[Carl] Sorry... You can keep the change.
516
00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:55,821
Five...
517
00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:58,341
-[Yvonne] What?
-Er, nothing.
518
00:33:01,541 --> 00:33:03,541
Cheeky bastards, the lot of them.
519
00:33:03,621 --> 00:33:06,501
-They're my family.
-That's worse.
520
00:33:06,581 --> 00:33:09,740
I don't want 'em in here, Jamie.
I don't want 'em anywhere near me.
521
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:13,220
-Can't bar them, Karen.
-I can and I fucking will.
522
00:33:13,301 --> 00:33:15,861
Wait until you've calmed down
before you do anything, eh?
523
00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:18,341
You know, one thing guaranteed
to make my blood boil
524
00:33:18,420 --> 00:33:22,061
[yelling]
is being told to twatting calm down!
525
00:33:26,021 --> 00:33:28,341
How many out of ten did you give Karen?
526
00:33:28,420 --> 00:33:32,220
Nine. She's fiery! She'd be a right goer.
527
00:33:32,301 --> 00:33:33,660
What did I get?
528
00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:37,740
I'm not in there?
529
00:33:49,341 --> 00:33:50,980
Eight out of ten.
530
00:33:54,141 --> 00:33:54,980
Five.
531
00:33:55,061 --> 00:33:57,900
But let's see
if we can improve on that, shall we?
532
00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:04,900
-[tense tone]
-Who the... ?
533
00:34:04,980 --> 00:34:09,300
Oh, since the girls on the estate
heard what you were doing...
534
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,101
Six?
535
00:34:11,180 --> 00:34:12,981
[Carl] And Shane's got fuckin' seven?
536
00:34:13,061 --> 00:34:14,501
Me dad's got fuckin' five!
537
00:34:14,581 --> 00:34:17,141
-Whoa, we're losing altitude.
Six?
538
00:34:27,021 --> 00:34:29,981
[Frank] Liam, I want us to go
for a real sad look now, please.
539
00:34:30,061 --> 00:34:31,780
-[Norma] Sad. Look at the camera.
-[Frank] Like Norma.
540
00:34:31,860 --> 00:34:32,901
Shut up!
541
00:34:32,981 --> 00:34:35,260
[Norma]
Always witty, Frank. Always witty...
542
00:34:37,260 --> 00:34:41,981
So, um, [clears throat] if Liam's chosen,
he'll be the face of what exactly?
543
00:34:42,941 --> 00:34:45,461
A national campaign aimed at highlighting
544
00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:48,621
the misery of a small
but significant section of society.
545
00:34:48,700 --> 00:34:49,581
Who?
546
00:34:49,660 --> 00:34:51,021
Those without voices.
547
00:34:51,101 --> 00:34:52,101
Westlife?
548
00:34:52,180 --> 00:34:53,220
The invisible.
549
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,220
Could you be a little more specific?
550
00:34:56,981 --> 00:35:02,181
If Liam is chosen, he'll be giving hope
to thousands, maybe even millions.
551
00:35:02,261 --> 00:35:05,340
The numbers of those suffering
are almost impossible to calculate.
552
00:35:05,421 --> 00:35:07,661
-Suffering what, exactly?
-Abuse.
553
00:35:08,501 --> 00:35:10,581
He'll be portraying an abused child.
554
00:35:11,381 --> 00:35:15,661
So, when you look at my son, Liam,
that is how you see him?
555
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:17,941
-Not at all. I see--
-[Monica] A fantastic face,
556
00:35:18,021 --> 00:35:19,461
telling its own story!
557
00:35:19,541 --> 00:35:20,421
Monica!
558
00:35:20,501 --> 00:35:23,221
-I think there's been a misunderstanding.
-And what a story!
559
00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:26,421
Knocked about,
beaten by his unloving parents,
560
00:35:26,501 --> 00:35:28,421
neglected, without a voice, without hope.
561
00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:32,461
Does he look unhappy? Malnourished?
Knocked about? Does he?
562
00:35:32,541 --> 00:35:34,780
I think you're blowing this
out of all proportion.
563
00:35:34,860 --> 00:35:37,501
You want a face
for a national campaign about abuse?
564
00:35:37,581 --> 00:35:40,021
If you don't get out my fucking way,
you'll have one!
565
00:35:44,381 --> 00:35:45,741
Projecting abuse?
566
00:35:45,820 --> 00:35:48,181
He's never been smacked in his life!
567
00:35:48,261 --> 00:35:50,581
People don't take
that much notice of faces, Mon,
568
00:35:50,661 --> 00:35:52,501
it's the message that sinks in,
569
00:35:52,581 --> 00:35:56,501
and if Liam's face can help
that message get through, who knows?
570
00:35:57,340 --> 00:35:59,941
It could help to save
some poor kiddy's life.
571
00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:04,300
Not only that,
they said they'd up his fee to a grand.
572
00:36:05,141 --> 00:36:06,780
What? He's got the job?
573
00:36:06,860 --> 00:36:09,780
They've sent all the other lads home.
He's just what they're looking for,
574
00:36:09,860 --> 00:36:10,780
apparently.
575
00:36:12,340 --> 00:36:15,141
Oh, come on, let's just get
this thing done and get home, eh?
576
00:36:16,780 --> 00:36:18,221
[mimicry]
577
00:36:19,340 --> 00:36:20,181
[mimicry]
578
00:36:21,701 --> 00:36:24,501
-Cash!
-That's not possible.
579
00:36:24,581 --> 00:36:26,021
Liam, in the van!
580
00:36:26,581 --> 00:36:29,501
Where are we going to raise money
with such short notice?
581
00:36:29,581 --> 00:36:33,381
Ha! You've got cash cards,
credit cards, expense accounts.
582
00:36:35,141 --> 00:36:36,141
Cash.
583
00:36:36,221 --> 00:36:37,421
[Frank] Come on, Liam.
584
00:36:38,101 --> 00:36:38,941
Come on.
585
00:36:40,941 --> 00:36:43,381
The doctor said,
as far as Stan's concerned,
586
00:36:43,461 --> 00:36:46,101
he's locked in the moment
of discovering you hanging.
587
00:36:46,181 --> 00:36:47,300
So what's the next move?
588
00:36:47,381 --> 00:36:49,340
If I can get him to stop crying
for long enough,
589
00:36:49,421 --> 00:36:51,661
I might be able
to start talking him round,
590
00:36:51,741 --> 00:36:52,661
but until then...
591
00:36:53,701 --> 00:36:55,860
Tell him I'm really sorry, Yvonne.
592
00:36:57,021 --> 00:36:58,981
-I went too far.
-I will.
593
00:36:59,061 --> 00:37:00,221
When he's lucid.
594
00:37:08,621 --> 00:37:09,581
[door shuts]
595
00:37:10,181 --> 00:37:11,300
He could lose his job!
596
00:37:11,380 --> 00:37:14,300
That's his fault, not yours!
You could've had a piggin' heart attack.
597
00:37:15,261 --> 00:37:16,860
I like having you around.
598
00:37:16,941 --> 00:37:19,621
-Brew?
-My turn. You put your feet up.
599
00:37:25,581 --> 00:37:28,300
Okay, and again, please, Liam,
right this time,
600
00:37:28,380 --> 00:37:32,581
I want you to imagine your dad's a drunk,
an old junkie, okay?
601
00:37:32,661 --> 00:37:35,981
Your mum's run off with someone
and you haven't seen her for years,
602
00:37:36,061 --> 00:37:37,021
[camera shooting]
603
00:37:37,101 --> 00:37:39,780
it's just you and your sister
all alone at home.
604
00:37:42,380 --> 00:37:43,621
He's just not getting it.
605
00:37:43,701 --> 00:37:47,221
Liam, think of something really sad.
Like something terrible's happened.
606
00:37:48,340 --> 00:37:49,780
And a little less panto?
607
00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:52,101
[woman] Any advice?
608
00:37:52,181 --> 00:37:54,860
He's a happy soul, as he should.
He takes after me.
609
00:37:54,941 --> 00:37:56,981
Yeah, but if we don't get a shot
we can use--
610
00:38:06,981 --> 00:38:08,981
[woman]
Okay, looking this way please, Liam.
611
00:38:10,340 --> 00:38:12,141
That's it, it's brilliant!
612
00:38:14,421 --> 00:38:15,621
[Monica] What did you say?
613
00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:17,340
It worked, didn't it?
614
00:38:20,181 --> 00:38:21,340
Sorry about before.
615
00:38:21,941 --> 00:38:24,541
You know what me mam's like. You okay?
616
00:38:26,061 --> 00:38:26,981
I'm fine.
617
00:38:28,261 --> 00:38:29,141
I will be.
618
00:38:31,820 --> 00:38:33,261
It's just kids.
619
00:38:34,061 --> 00:38:34,941
I dunno.
620
00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:37,021
There's no law says you have to have 'em.
621
00:38:37,101 --> 00:38:38,181
That's just it.
622
00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:39,741
I don't...
623
00:38:41,021 --> 00:38:42,181
I don't know.
624
00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:44,380
Just not with Jamie.
625
00:38:46,941 --> 00:38:48,141
When I look at him,
626
00:38:49,380 --> 00:38:51,021
he doesn't say "Dad" to me.
627
00:38:52,261 --> 00:38:54,621
I shouldn't be telling you this.
You're his sister.
628
00:38:55,461 --> 00:38:58,141
He's a bloke. I'm your mate.
629
00:38:59,501 --> 00:39:01,621
I just don't know what I want any more.
630
00:39:03,741 --> 00:39:05,061
I just don't know.
631
00:39:13,820 --> 00:39:15,261
[woman] Well done, Liam.
632
00:39:15,860 --> 00:39:17,981
Even more,
if you can find a little bit more...
633
00:39:18,061 --> 00:39:20,701
-Look, can't you just?
-[woman] Frank, we're okay here.
634
00:39:20,780 --> 00:39:22,581
[Frank] No, just...
Can you just finish up?
635
00:39:22,661 --> 00:39:24,181
-[Frank] The lad's upset.
-Nearly there. Just let us get this shot.
636
00:39:24,261 --> 00:39:26,101
[Frank] No, no, I said leave it!
637
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:30,701
I said, he's had enough!
638
00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:32,141
[Frank] Right? Fuck off!
639
00:39:32,221 --> 00:39:33,221
[camera shooting]
640
00:39:35,141 --> 00:39:39,101
[laughing with joy]
Great team we make, eh, son?
641
00:39:39,181 --> 00:39:42,261
Dad did his bit,
and got paid into the bargain.
642
00:40:32,901 --> 00:40:36,021
[Debbie] Norma, pull over!
I'll just nip in and get a bit of steak.
643
00:40:45,461 --> 00:40:47,581
[Monica] I don't really fancy cooking.
644
00:40:47,661 --> 00:40:49,380
No, but I'll cook and you can wash up.
645
00:40:49,461 --> 00:40:52,901
I fancy that even less so,
why don't we park and go for a meal?
646
00:40:52,981 --> 00:40:55,021
No, I thought it'd be nice
to have the family round the table.
647
00:40:55,101 --> 00:40:57,141
I know you think
we should put the cash aside,
648
00:40:57,221 --> 00:40:59,061
in case he wants
to go to Oxford or Cambridge,
649
00:40:59,141 --> 00:41:01,141
but 50 quid isn't gonna
put paid to that, is it?
650
00:41:01,221 --> 00:41:03,901
-That wasn't the deal.
-[Monica] Wasn't aware there was a deal.
651
00:41:03,981 --> 00:41:05,501
[Debbie] We decided, if he gets the job,
652
00:41:05,581 --> 00:41:07,340
he gets the money,
and spends it on what he wants.
653
00:41:07,421 --> 00:41:10,941
-How come I wasn't party to that?
-Cos you weren't there again!
654
00:41:11,021 --> 00:41:12,541
[Monica] Well, where was I?
655
00:41:12,621 --> 00:41:14,340
[Debbie] Pub, getting your nails done,
656
00:41:14,421 --> 00:41:16,340
getting your hair done,
getting your bits waxed?
657
00:41:16,421 --> 00:41:18,461
-[Monica] You're not his mother, Debbie.
-And you are?
658
00:41:18,541 --> 00:41:21,061
Oh, stop it, there's no need!
659
00:41:26,941 --> 00:41:28,541
[Monica] Well, come on!
660
00:41:29,780 --> 00:41:31,380
Pizza?
661
00:41:31,461 --> 00:41:33,581
You could get that Wii box
you've had your eye on.
662
00:41:33,661 --> 00:41:37,021
That PlayStation, that Xbox,
you can get all three if you like.
663
00:41:46,581 --> 00:41:48,221
Well, don't wait up.
664
00:41:49,421 --> 00:41:50,780
[mouthing]
665
00:41:50,860 --> 00:41:54,300
[Frank] Carpe diem! Seize the day.
666
00:41:54,380 --> 00:41:55,661
Enjoy it while you can.
667
00:41:55,741 --> 00:41:58,901
But... be careful.
668
00:41:58,981 --> 00:42:01,941
Because, as a truly great poet once said:
669
00:42:02,021 --> 00:42:04,701
"You don't know what you got
till it's gone.
670
00:42:05,941 --> 00:42:08,021
And as we all know,
671
00:42:08,101 --> 00:42:12,461
once it's gone,
there's no getting it back,
672
00:42:12,541 --> 00:42:14,541
even if you wanted to."
673
00:42:17,901 --> 00:42:20,221
[children playing in distance]
674
00:42:24,860 --> 00:42:26,181
Frank!
675
00:42:29,221 --> 00:42:30,981
-Yeah!
-[grunts]
676
00:42:31,061 --> 00:42:32,981
[falls to the ground]
677
00:42:33,061 --> 00:42:34,581
Bernard White. Benefits officer.
678
00:42:34,661 --> 00:42:36,101
Strangeways, here we come.
679
00:42:36,181 --> 00:42:39,061
What the hell's the benefits officer doing
in Debbie's bed?
680
00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:40,901
Ideally, waking up to a new life.
681
00:42:40,981 --> 00:42:42,300
-Maureen?
-Patrick.
682
00:42:42,380 --> 00:42:43,661
Now, c'mon, you can untie me now.
683
00:42:43,741 --> 00:42:45,780
This is not what it looks like.
684
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:48,101
-Let's fuck 'em up then.
-Yeah!
685
00:42:48,181 --> 00:42:49,701
-You're shit.
-You're shit.
686
00:42:50,741 --> 00:42:53,181
-The fuck you staring at?
-Could ask you the same question.
687
00:42:53,261 --> 00:42:55,541
-The Irish love singing, don't they?
-How the fuck should I know?
688
00:42:55,621 --> 00:42:57,421
[shouting]
What did I say to you about language?
689
00:42:57,501 --> 00:42:58,380
He's trying to kill me.
690
00:42:58,461 --> 00:43:02,621
Fuck's sake, Micky. I don't give a shit!
Just wish you were better at football.
691
00:43:02,701 --> 00:43:04,501
[theme music playing]
692
00:43:42,261 --> 00:43:43,981
[James Bond theme begins]
693
00:43:45,461 --> 00:43:46,380
[gunfire]
694
00:44:12,941 --> 00:44:13,780
[slap]
695
00:44:15,541 --> 00:44:16,621
[shouts] Ah!
696
00:44:16,701 --> 00:44:17,820
[James Bond theme ends]
77995
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