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1
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[intro music]
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:11,541
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:11,621 --> 00:00:16,581
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given
4
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:19,061
by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:22,381
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:28,861
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
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00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:31,901
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
8
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:36,260
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
9
00:00:36,341 --> 00:00:40,940
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:41,021 --> 00:00:45,220
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:49,381
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:49,461 --> 00:00:53,860
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:57,421 --> 00:01:00,741
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:01:00,821 --> 00:01:03,421
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:07,621
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,780
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:13,060
[laughing] [cough]
18
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,341
Scatter!
19
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,821
Party!
20
00:01:26,021 --> 00:01:29,621
[Frank] A good friend once said to me,
Bob the Bullshit, I think:
21
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"Everybody's at it.
And if they're not, they should be."
22
00:01:35,341 --> 00:01:39,901
Meaning, I suppose,
that nobody is actually who they seem.
23
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:46,500
We're all of us deceiving each other,
and ourselves, most of the time.
24
00:01:46,581 --> 00:01:49,821
-[door knocking]
-Pretending to be something, or someone,
25
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:50,901
that we're not.
26
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,301
And nothing is what it seems.
27
00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:58,420
Do you ever give up, Tom?
28
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Please, not now.
29
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:02,541
Don't flatter yourself.
30
00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:04,420
-Where's Frank?
-What's he done now?
31
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Jesus!
32
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,581
-[Frank grunts]
-Leave it out!
33
00:02:15,661 --> 00:02:17,260
-What are you doing?
-He's wanted.
34
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:19,301
Does he look like
he's ever had a credit card?
35
00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:22,260
Over 20 grand owed on his Visa.
36
00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:26,341
Another 12 on a new car, two on a plasma,
four on a fortnight in Dubai.
37
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,061
Hello? Sunkissed?
38
00:02:29,141 --> 00:02:31,941
-Three different addresses.
-And Frank's details on them all.
39
00:02:34,141 --> 00:02:35,100
[Frank] Sorry.
40
00:02:35,861 --> 00:02:37,141
Well done, Dad.
41
00:02:38,181 --> 00:02:40,540
-It'll be a mistake.
-There's no need to manhandle him.
42
00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:42,260
[Liam] Why the bad manners?
43
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We know it wasn't you.
44
00:02:43,421 --> 00:02:45,380
So why the brutality?
45
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:47,741
Yeah, harassment.
46
00:02:48,581 --> 00:02:51,461
Lorraine Kelly here going all
Regan and Carter.
47
00:02:52,181 --> 00:02:53,901
Your identity was stolen.
48
00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:56,100
My identity?
49
00:02:56,181 --> 00:02:59,100
-Have a look at this.
-[sighing] Is nothing sacred?
50
00:02:59,181 --> 00:03:00,260
It's your civic duty.
51
00:03:01,021 --> 00:03:04,221
You ignored three summonses.
We had no choice but to collect you.
52
00:03:04,301 --> 00:03:06,461
Duh! I'm exempt.
53
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:10,581
Special dispensation,
by-product of a colorful existence.
54
00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:12,181
You haven't got a criminal record.
55
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,661
I haven't. I haven't? Of course I haven't!
56
00:03:16,741 --> 00:03:18,501
Not now, anyway.
57
00:03:18,581 --> 00:03:22,100
The system crashed and was unable
to differentiate where the ID theft began.
58
00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:24,061
Couldn't specify which crimes were yours.
59
00:03:24,941 --> 00:03:25,980
So they all got wiped.
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00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:28,581
[Stan]
You're a very lucky man. Clean slate.
61
00:03:28,661 --> 00:03:30,980
[Tom]
A whole world of employment opportunities.
62
00:03:31,901 --> 00:03:34,341
And eligible for jury service.
63
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:44,661
All right, Frank?
64
00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:46,301
All right, Dessie.
65
00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:51,181
Hiya, Frank!
66
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:52,461
All right, Phil.
67
00:03:59,581 --> 00:04:02,700
[Shane] Step this way, lads,
for the Amazing Madchester Music Tour.
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00:04:02,781 --> 00:04:04,181
Guaranteed to see some stars.
69
00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:06,501
Easy money, mate.
70
00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:07,901
This clip's banging.
71
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,661
MC Tunes in the pink limo crib.
72
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Manchester vibes in the area!
Let's 'ave it!
73
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,820
-Fuck's sake!
-[whistling]
74
00:04:14,901 --> 00:04:16,300
How do you spell "provocateur"?
75
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,701
Oi, got punters out here.
76
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,261
You know, like, in the posh knickers?
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All right?
78
00:04:23,821 --> 00:04:25,661
These babies will reach all your parts.
79
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:27,740
["Wrote For Luck"
by Happy Mondays playing]
80
00:04:27,821 --> 00:04:29,381
Make yourself comfy.
81
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,381
[Micky] Don't drive too fast!
82
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,060
[car stereo blares]
83
00:04:44,981 --> 00:04:47,221
Hacienda. Used to love it in there, me.
84
00:04:47,301 --> 00:04:48,461
[boy 1] Those flats?
85
00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:52,180
The Sex Pistols played there in the '60s,
and loads of other bands saw them.
86
00:04:52,261 --> 00:04:54,620
Not 1976? The Free Trade Hall?
87
00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,461
Nah. That's an hotel.
88
00:04:57,541 --> 00:04:59,500
Where's Canal Street from here?
89
00:05:00,221 --> 00:05:01,861
What do you want to know that for?
90
00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:09,180
[sighing]
It was terrifying the first time.
91
00:05:10,861 --> 00:05:13,421
-It's a sensitive area.
-It's my role though, Pat.
92
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,581
This could be my last chance.
I'm a good mother. It's what I excel at.
93
00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:20,021
Loads of men have them reversed.
94
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Realise they've made a mistake.
95
00:05:22,661 --> 00:05:25,661
It wasn't a mistake.
We've had enough for a hurling team.
96
00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:26,661
And lost one.
97
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,940
We don't want any more
at this stage in our life.
98
00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:31,940
We should be content with our grandchild.
99
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:34,620
-But she's not here.
-She's two doors away, Mimi.
100
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,581
-[baby cries in distance]
-[Paddy] Listen.
101
00:05:37,261 --> 00:05:39,581
But it doesn't feel like enough, Paddy.
102
00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:41,620
Why's she always crying?
103
00:05:41,701 --> 00:05:44,620
God knows what that Liam's doing
when Mandy's not looking.
104
00:05:44,701 --> 00:05:48,421
That was a definite error of judgement
forging a union with that pikey gene pool.
105
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,101
Mercy, she's such a doll.
106
00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:51,740
[baby cries louder]
107
00:05:54,301 --> 00:05:55,581
They'd be better off here.
108
00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:57,060
There's hardly the room.
109
00:05:57,141 --> 00:06:00,261
I'd happily kick out Scooby or Shaggy.
110
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Maybe that's what I need
to stop the yearning.
111
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,261
And if you're shirking
your genetic responsibility.
112
00:06:06,341 --> 00:06:08,341
Hey, I've been a prolific provider.
113
00:06:08,421 --> 00:06:11,380
She might come home here.
Her and the baby.
114
00:06:12,341 --> 00:06:14,221
What do you think? It could be a plan.
115
00:06:15,861 --> 00:06:17,901
Why's Shane dressed like Buddy Holly?
116
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[barrister]
The seriousness of these accusations
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cannot be overestimated.
118
00:06:25,461 --> 00:06:29,180
Selling counterfeit merchandise
is indicative of the insidious methods
119
00:06:29,261 --> 00:06:33,180
criminal networks employ
to fund their illegal activities...
120
00:06:33,261 --> 00:06:35,541
Pay attention!
121
00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:37,781
And don't you dare drool on me.
122
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[puffs] He's a scouser.
123
00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:42,740
All day.
124
00:07:03,421 --> 00:07:05,261
[woman clears throat]
125
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Yeah.
126
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:14,500
-Came prepared?
-As always.
127
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Helen.
128
00:07:16,221 --> 00:07:17,180
Frank Gallagher.
129
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:19,981
-First time?
-Bored off my tits.
130
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:22,180
It can get tedious.
131
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:25,301
-You're familiar with the surroundings?
-I come whenever I can.
132
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But only the public gallery.
133
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,981
Yeah, been a regular myself.
134
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:33,260
Only the cheap seats, though.
If you know what I mean.
135
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:44,581
[barrister] I would imagine
if I were selling counterfeit goods
136
00:07:44,661 --> 00:07:48,141
to raise funds for a terrorist cell
or a drug cartel,
137
00:07:48,221 --> 00:07:51,781
I would also be afraid
to assist the police in their enquiries.
138
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,701
["Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before"
by The Smiths playing]
139
00:07:56,781 --> 00:07:57,981
This is where The Smiths met.
140
00:07:58,861 --> 00:08:02,060
They sometimes come back round here
for inspiration and whatnot.
141
00:08:02,141 --> 00:08:03,500
[Micky] Look! There he is.
142
00:08:03,581 --> 00:08:04,541
That's Morrissey.
143
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:05,981
-No way!
-Wow.
144
00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:12,620
Bloody hell!
145
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[giggling]
146
00:08:16,461 --> 00:08:18,221
[Micky] Did you see him? I told you...
147
00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:21,380
I just don't know who you might
run into round here if you're lucky.
148
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-Way!
-[boy 2] What!
149
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,901
This is mental. All right?
150
00:08:29,981 --> 00:08:31,500
-[boy 2] Hello, mate.
-All right.
151
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:32,980
[camera shutter]
152
00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:37,820
What's that knobhead waving at?
153
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:41,261
[indistinct chatter]
154
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:43,940
Liam's good as gold!
He's brilliant with Katie.
155
00:08:44,021 --> 00:08:45,100
[Paddy] I'm sure he is, sweetheart.
156
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:49,421
Your mother's just feeling sensitive.
We hear Katie crying a lot.
157
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:52,061
It's what happens when children compete.
158
00:08:52,781 --> 00:08:55,181
She's just going through a phase.
159
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Talking about having another baby.
160
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[puffs] No danger there.
161
00:08:59,621 --> 00:09:02,100
But she's got this notion
that you and Katie moving in
162
00:09:02,181 --> 00:09:03,581
will be an adequate surrogate.
163
00:09:06,141 --> 00:09:08,421
There's no space. She's in her own bed.
164
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:09,901
I understand.
165
00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:13,860
[kiss] But you know your mother.
She wants her little girls home.
166
00:09:15,901 --> 00:09:18,781
That looked a bit serious.
Daddy and his princess getting along?
167
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:20,100
Would you move back home?
168
00:09:22,421 --> 00:09:24,741
-I might need a favour.
-All right.
169
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:33,141
[all] ♪Ooh, aah, ooh, aah! ♪
♪ Ooh, aah, Cantona! ♪
170
00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:35,781
♪ Ooh, aah, the Cantona! ♪
171
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:39,701
[giggling] Yeah, man.
Yeah, me mate can get you tickets.
172
00:09:39,781 --> 00:09:44,100
Yeah. That's who he named the band after.
As well as the ginger pubes on his head.
173
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:48,340
He still visits his family round there.
These were his local shops.
174
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,061
-[boy 2] Where's he live now?
-How should I know?
175
00:09:51,141 --> 00:09:52,781
[boy 2]
I've heard he's got a place in Milan.
176
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,701
Wit woo.
177
00:09:53,781 --> 00:09:57,021
Simply Red wasn't exactly
Madchester, though.
178
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:57,980
Who says?
179
00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:59,181
Well, everybody.
180
00:09:59,781 --> 00:10:00,621
Go, go, go!
181
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,581
[boy 1]
Neither was Morrissey, as it happens.
182
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:03,941
He definitely was.
183
00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:09,021
Look! Look! Take some photos!
Mick Hucknall in the area!
184
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,021
[Micky] Two out of two.
185
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:14,501
Did you see him? That was ace.
Tell all your mates.
186
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:15,941
-[boy 1] No way!
-[boy 2] Kerching!
187
00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:16,941
[boy 1] Wow!
188
00:10:18,821 --> 00:10:20,860
[barrister]
With offices around the country,
189
00:10:20,941 --> 00:10:25,501
invariably pointing to sellers like this
being involved in something more sinister.
190
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,541
The higher up the chain of supply
we're able to venture...
191
00:10:32,061 --> 00:10:34,581
-There's a strong case against him.
-[puffs]
192
00:10:34,661 --> 00:10:39,061
Liverpool. City of Vultures.
The whole town's counterfeit.
193
00:10:39,141 --> 00:10:41,901
They all wear fake clothes?
194
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:44,661
No, it's a simile. But probably.
195
00:10:44,741 --> 00:10:48,941
Chipmunk-Cilla's features.
Tarby's "humour"?
196
00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:51,501
"Community spirit in the face
of adversity."
197
00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:54,021
How many of them actually work?
198
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:59,421
Dark Side Of The Moon while smoking weed,
playing Xboxes all day long.
199
00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:02,501
Nothing is as it seems
down the East Lancs...
200
00:11:02,581 --> 00:11:07,021
Fake football shirts, Helen,
are the tip of his particular iceberg.
201
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,460
The slave trade. The Three Graces.
202
00:11:10,541 --> 00:11:13,021
Icing on the crown of the Scouse nation.
203
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,340
-My dad's from Liverpool.
-No offence.
204
00:11:15,421 --> 00:11:16,661
It's okay.
205
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,860
I never really thought of it like that.
206
00:11:21,901 --> 00:11:23,860
[snickering]
207
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:28,980
[Carrie moans] Oh! Yes!
208
00:11:29,061 --> 00:11:32,541
[passionately] Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes!
209
00:11:32,621 --> 00:11:35,460
[Bill moans]
210
00:11:35,541 --> 00:11:37,701
[Bill] Bingo! [sighs deeply]
211
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:47,181
-You're on lates?
-Still got plenty to do.
212
00:11:47,261 --> 00:11:48,460
Coffee?
213
00:11:58,381 --> 00:12:00,340
Sorry about any confusion yesterday.
214
00:12:14,781 --> 00:12:16,661
[Tom] Frank? Frank, come on.
215
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,781
[Maxine grunting]
216
00:12:25,581 --> 00:12:27,141
Frank, you've got a lift to court.
217
00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:34,340
-Frank!
-Let him have it! Let him have it!
218
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,980
-What is your problem?
-Stalker!
219
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,740
[Frank] Been reading Catcher In The Rye?
220
00:12:40,821 --> 00:12:43,340
It's a misunderstanding.
I just came to give him a lift.
221
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:47,141
Is that a copper's job?
Or has he been fast-tracked to judge?
222
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:50,541
And to apologise for yesterday.
Being rough.
223
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:54,781
Get past it, Tom. We're o-v-e-r.
224
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:57,021
You're freaking me out now.
225
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,381
[car stereo blares]
226
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,740
-No, thanks.
-It's all right.
227
00:13:05,821 --> 00:13:08,340
It's not really my thing.
228
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,220
But it makes the tour more real
if you know what I mean.
229
00:13:11,301 --> 00:13:14,220
Without these little beauties,
there wouldn't be a Madchester!
230
00:13:14,301 --> 00:13:16,220
I said, I'm not interested.
231
00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,220
[woman] Check!
232
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,301
[officers giggling]
233
00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:38,301
How's that funny?
234
00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:43,181
[Stan laughing] Can't you take a joke?
235
00:13:48,421 --> 00:13:50,021
Do you think that's funny, Bill?
236
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,821
Men taking advantage of pubescent girls?
237
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:55,421
All the same.
238
00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:00,381
[Stan]
I was just trying to lighten the mood.
239
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:01,581
Make you smile.
240
00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:06,620
But you shouldn't have gone round there
this morning.
241
00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:08,381
It won't do either of you any good.
242
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,740
I mean, Frank can't expect a--Urgh!
243
00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:13,261
-What's that?
-[Tom laughs]
244
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,141
-You cheeky little--
-Touché.
245
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:18,181
-You don't know what you've started.
-What I started?
246
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:32,821
[Micky grunts]
247
00:14:35,381 --> 00:14:37,141
-What you up to?
-It's a free country.
248
00:14:38,381 --> 00:14:39,901
-Who are these?
-Mates.
249
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,381
-You two okay?
-They're sound.
250
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,541
I asked them.
251
00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,100
[Carrie] Girls?
252
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:47,901
[girl] We're fine, thanks.
253
00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:54,220
Can't switch off.
Needs a truncheon up her--Aaagh!
254
00:14:54,301 --> 00:14:56,421
Not the day for it, Maguire.
255
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,421
Agh, fuck!
256
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,220
[Frank] The classic syndrome, Helen.
257
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:05,500
Rob their pensions, medical cover...
And who ends up with the yacht,
258
00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:08,381
-Ferrari and Spanish villa?
-Scousers?
259
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,421
Scou...
260
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,701
Well, yeah, sometimes it's scousers,
the rich ones,
261
00:15:13,781 --> 00:15:18,460
but whoever it is, I guarantee
they won't come from places like we did.
262
00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:20,701
I've never met anyone who talks like you.
263
00:15:21,781 --> 00:15:24,620
I can't believe I'm here,
in the beating heart,
264
00:15:24,701 --> 00:15:27,901
with such wonderful people,
and actually getting money for it.
265
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,220
Well, my pearls falling
on appreciative ears
266
00:15:32,301 --> 00:15:34,581
-has helped numb the tedium.
-That's nice.
267
00:15:37,581 --> 00:15:40,581
[sighs] Home beckon...
What do you mean: "getting money for it"?
268
00:15:40,661 --> 00:15:44,661
You must have been asleep.
The expenses. Match your wages. Fantastic!
269
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,581
-Why are we still here?
-We're ready now.
270
00:15:57,781 --> 00:15:59,500
Look! Frank Sidebottom!
271
00:15:59,581 --> 00:16:01,661
-[girl] Who?
-Frank Sidebottom.
272
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:04,141
-What does that mean?
-Him, there. Off the telly.
273
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:05,541
[slams]
274
00:16:13,781 --> 00:16:15,061
-What?
-[girl] Refund.
275
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,100
-Why?
-Look,
276
00:16:16,181 --> 00:16:18,380
we didn't say anything
to that policewoman,
277
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,581
but aside from trying
to force drugs on us,
278
00:16:21,301 --> 00:16:22,860
this is a total crock of shit!
279
00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:27,701
[Kelly] Where you going?
280
00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:30,500
It'll be me they come looking for.
281
00:16:30,581 --> 00:16:31,860
-[girl shouting]
-Shouldn't be so stupid.
282
00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:33,781
Hurry up!
283
00:16:40,141 --> 00:16:41,100
Let me guess.
284
00:16:42,941 --> 00:16:45,421
Hey, Yvonne,
how much do you pay your workers?
285
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,460
You've got no chance.
286
00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:49,661
-It's not Remploy.
-I shall ignore such slander
287
00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:51,860
in the interests
of my business proposition.
288
00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:52,901
Lend us that.
289
00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:56,460
-Jury expenses.
-How much?
290
00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:59,061
Just leave that to me.
Started the job yesterday.
291
00:16:59,141 --> 00:17:00,380
80/20 split.
292
00:17:31,981 --> 00:17:34,061
[indistinct police radio chatter]
293
00:17:34,141 --> 00:17:34,981
[car door closes]
294
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,501
[Carrie screaming loudly]
There's no way out!
295
00:18:11,701 --> 00:18:14,701
[loudly] Make it easy on yourself,
and I'll make it easier on you.
296
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,101
Back-up's on the way.
297
00:18:28,781 --> 00:18:31,261
Ripping innocent people off again?
298
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:33,981
You lot never learn.
299
00:18:35,021 --> 00:18:36,261
[wood creaking]
300
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:43,981
I've called the dogs,
301
00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:49,180
so, if you don't want
an Alsatian's teeth around your member...
302
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,061
[Micky] Oh!
303
00:18:51,141 --> 00:18:52,621
[Micky screams]
304
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,180
I'm blind!
305
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,501
I'm blind! My eyes!
306
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,660
[Micky] What was that for?
307
00:18:59,741 --> 00:19:01,821
[Carrie] Right, get up, Saul.
I'll support ya.
308
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,741
-[Carrie] Come on!
-[Micky struggling]
309
00:19:06,261 --> 00:19:07,141
[Carrie screams]
310
00:19:08,141 --> 00:19:11,700
-What's happened?
-What's it look like? [sobbing]
311
00:19:11,781 --> 00:19:15,821
-I can't see!
-Stop whining and pull me out!
312
00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:20,021
-[grunting]
-You're stuck.
313
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:23,461
[Micky] Argh!
314
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:29,221
[judge] I shall now ask the jury
to retire, and consider their verdict.
315
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:47,700
Does anybody have any specific desire
to take the role of foreman?
316
00:19:52,861 --> 00:19:53,861
Hmm, all yours.
317
00:19:57,660 --> 00:20:01,541
Well, can I suggest we start
with a quick show of hands?
318
00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:03,180
I presume we're all feeling the same.
319
00:20:03,261 --> 00:20:05,180
Probably be out of here in no time.
320
00:20:05,781 --> 00:20:08,461
So, all those who think
the defendant's guilty?
321
00:20:17,021 --> 00:20:19,501
And all those who think
the defendant's not guilty?
322
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,741
Looks like we'll be back in the morning.
323
00:20:32,621 --> 00:20:33,501
[Micky groaning]
324
00:20:33,581 --> 00:20:35,741
[Carrie] I can't find the keys.
Now stop rubbing!
325
00:20:35,821 --> 00:20:39,101
-[Micky] Just let me go and get some help.
-[Carrie] You won't come back.
326
00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:41,821
Well, I'll just phone me dad
to bring the bolt cutters then.
327
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,221
Woo woo!
328
00:20:44,061 --> 00:20:45,621
I would leave you here, anyway.
329
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:52,461
-I bet there's spiders.
-So?
330
00:20:52,541 --> 00:20:53,461
[sucks teeth]
331
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:58,141
I'm making a complaint about you
on unnecessary force. Again!
332
00:20:58,700 --> 00:20:59,900
[mobile phone rings]
333
00:21:02,741 --> 00:21:03,940
[Micky grunting] Aaagh!
334
00:21:09,261 --> 00:21:10,660
[door opens]
335
00:21:10,741 --> 00:21:12,940
-Where's my baseball bat?
-In your wardrobe.
336
00:21:18,301 --> 00:21:20,501
-[Monica sighing]
-[Stella crying]
337
00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:21,861
[Katie] Mummy!
338
00:21:24,781 --> 00:21:26,261
That's Stella waking Katie.
339
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,781
[Katie] Mummy!
340
00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:38,061
[screams in despair]
341
00:21:39,981 --> 00:21:41,141
[door slams]
342
00:21:42,461 --> 00:21:43,700
[Katie] Mummy!
343
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:52,061
-[Katie cries in distance]
-[Stella cries in distance]
344
00:21:57,741 --> 00:21:58,700
That's it!
345
00:22:13,341 --> 00:22:16,180
-Mimi!
-What's the mad bitch up to now?
346
00:22:16,261 --> 00:22:17,981
-Show some respect.
-Ow!
347
00:22:18,061 --> 00:22:19,741
-It's stuck.
-What's going on?
348
00:22:19,821 --> 00:22:20,900
[Paddy] I don't know.
349
00:22:20,981 --> 00:22:25,180
If I just make room, and clear it,
she'll come!
350
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,141
Mum!
351
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:28,180
Whoa, whoa, whoa, not Butch!
352
00:22:28,261 --> 00:22:33,660
It's for you, babe. Please come home!
I can't bear what they're doing to Katie.
353
00:22:33,741 --> 00:22:34,940
[Debbie] What who's doing?
354
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:37,261
Damien over there, and who knows who else.
355
00:22:37,341 --> 00:22:38,621
Watch what you're saying!
356
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:39,900
-What's it got to do with you?
-Leave it.
357
00:22:39,981 --> 00:22:42,861
-No, we love Katie.
-So why's she so unhappy?
358
00:22:42,940 --> 00:22:45,460
Stella cries, Katie cries sometimes.
It's a small house.
359
00:22:45,541 --> 00:22:48,981
That's the point.
We would love you to come home.
360
00:22:51,981 --> 00:22:53,061
[Frank] This'll do.
361
00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:56,700
[Kelly screams in fear]
362
00:22:56,781 --> 00:22:58,741
-[metal clattering]
-[indistinct shouts]
363
00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:02,861
Maybe the pub.
364
00:23:06,861 --> 00:23:08,021
Usual, Karen.
365
00:23:08,101 --> 00:23:12,821
One for yourself, and... your dearest.
366
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:14,261
Someone's in a good mood.
367
00:23:14,341 --> 00:23:18,861
Well, it's nice to share the wealth
when fortune smiles on the brave.
368
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:22,940
And a tipple
for my delectable other half as well.
369
00:23:23,021 --> 00:23:26,821
So, did the Scouser get a guilty?
370
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:30,460
-Well, I may have been a tad hasty.
-Oh, quelle surprise!
371
00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:33,700
They're much maligned,
you know, Liverpudlians.
372
00:23:33,781 --> 00:23:35,061
Cousins, really.
373
00:23:35,141 --> 00:23:37,460
Many a worthy contributor
for the general good.
374
00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:38,541
You reckon?
375
00:23:38,621 --> 00:23:41,301
-Oh, definitely.
-Such as?
376
00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:46,900
Ehm... You know... Grobbelaar?
377
00:23:46,981 --> 00:23:48,381
Hatton!
378
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,821
-There was a heavyweight in his field.
-He's a welterweight from Stockport.
379
00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:53,940
No, Derek.
380
00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:55,341
-So?
-[Frank squeaks]
381
00:23:55,420 --> 00:23:57,781
Who was the dizzy-looking bitch?
382
00:23:57,861 --> 00:24:00,101
-Who?
-[slams]
383
00:24:00,180 --> 00:24:01,061
What?
384
00:24:01,141 --> 00:24:06,581
Oh, um, you know... the thingy...
Foreman of the jury on her way to hers.
385
00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:08,381
Bit mental.
386
00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:09,541
[Carrie] What are you doing?
387
00:24:09,621 --> 00:24:12,900
[puffs] Smoking the evidence.
388
00:24:12,981 --> 00:24:14,581
[Carrie sneezes] Stop it!
389
00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:18,021
Better than being gassed. Have some.
390
00:24:18,101 --> 00:24:20,301
-It's illegal!
-So?
391
00:24:20,381 --> 00:24:22,781
-I'm a policewoman.
-Everybody does it.
392
00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:24,821
But I don't.
393
00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:28,660
-Never tried?
-Never!
394
00:24:28,741 --> 00:24:30,460
Don't know what you're missing.
395
00:24:32,101 --> 00:24:34,261
[inhales deeply]
396
00:24:34,341 --> 00:24:35,861
Stop!
397
00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:38,061
Might chill you out.
398
00:24:38,741 --> 00:24:39,621
[Carrie gibbering]
399
00:24:45,101 --> 00:24:47,301
Dunno what all the fuss is about.
400
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:52,221
-So why do you keep laughing then?
-[both giggle]
401
00:24:56,141 --> 00:24:57,061
[sirens wailing]
402
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,261
[Carrie] How come I've never seen you
with a girlfriend?
403
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:05,381
I've never seen you with a boyfriend.
404
00:25:06,541 --> 00:25:07,381
So?
405
00:25:09,581 --> 00:25:11,141
I don't want one at the moment.
406
00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:13,700
I'm concentrating on my writing.
407
00:25:14,381 --> 00:25:16,101
-Can't you write?
-Course!
408
00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:19,061
I mean... stories and that.
409
00:25:19,660 --> 00:25:22,420
Yeah? What kind of stories?
410
00:25:25,660 --> 00:25:26,541
Erotica.
411
00:25:26,621 --> 00:25:28,821
[coughing]
412
00:25:34,420 --> 00:25:35,821
-Sorry.
-It's all right.
413
00:25:37,781 --> 00:25:41,821
Personally, I think it's overrated.
414
00:25:42,581 --> 00:25:44,180
-Erotica?
-Sex.
415
00:25:44,861 --> 00:25:45,821
You reckon?
416
00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:49,341
-I prefer a good arrest.
-Typical Dibble.
417
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:53,501
Hardly typical!
One day I'll be far from here.
418
00:25:53,581 --> 00:25:56,501
Chief Super, [sighs] somewhere fitting.
419
00:25:56,581 --> 00:25:58,061
Yeah. I will too.
420
00:25:59,341 --> 00:26:01,261
-What?
-Be far from here.
421
00:26:01,341 --> 00:26:02,581
Yeah, right.
422
00:26:02,660 --> 00:26:04,460
-Stretford?
-No!
423
00:26:09,141 --> 00:26:10,021
Go on then.
424
00:26:10,541 --> 00:26:12,101
Where do you want to be?
425
00:26:12,180 --> 00:26:13,141
I don't know.
426
00:26:15,101 --> 00:26:15,981
Maybe California.
427
00:26:16,061 --> 00:26:18,061
Writing novels in a cabin by the ocean?
428
00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:22,700
Not a cabin. One of them
steel and glass minimum houses.
429
00:26:22,781 --> 00:26:25,621
-Hollywood starlets round the pool.
-Defo.
430
00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:30,180
Dancing all day, plenty of weed,
rubbing sun cream on each other.
431
00:26:30,261 --> 00:26:32,420
[sighs] Sounds like one of your stories.
432
00:26:32,501 --> 00:26:35,541
Yeah, tanned and toned.
[excitedly] Proper hard bodies.
433
00:26:35,621 --> 00:26:36,741
Easy.
434
00:26:36,821 --> 00:26:37,861
You'll get me going.
435
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,341
Well, it'll be wasted on you anyway.
436
00:26:41,781 --> 00:26:42,621
Don't know.
437
00:26:43,940 --> 00:26:44,781
Sounded good.
438
00:26:44,861 --> 00:26:46,861
You can't be totally frigid then.
439
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:48,900
Watch it!
440
00:26:50,621 --> 00:26:53,420
-You must be a bit.
-Why?
441
00:26:53,501 --> 00:26:55,660
"Sex is overrated". You said it.
442
00:26:55,741 --> 00:26:59,501
Well, it is.
Better channelling the energy into work.
443
00:27:00,220 --> 00:27:01,101
Or the gym.
444
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,460
What about...
445
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:06,861
orgasms?
446
00:27:08,381 --> 00:27:09,301
What about 'em?
447
00:27:09,381 --> 00:27:10,460
Ever had one?
448
00:27:10,541 --> 00:27:11,621
Course.
449
00:27:14,061 --> 00:27:16,301
-I reckon.
-You'd know if you had.
450
00:27:18,101 --> 00:27:19,381
I bet I can give you one.
451
00:27:20,061 --> 00:27:20,900
Watch it!
452
00:27:20,981 --> 00:27:21,861
No!
453
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:23,821
I mean with this.
454
00:27:25,261 --> 00:27:26,220
This is my new one.
455
00:27:26,981 --> 00:27:29,460
-Don't be mental.
-Don't you believe me?
456
00:27:29,541 --> 00:27:31,180
-Course not.
Do you wanna bet?
457
00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:36,501
-Won't it be embarrassing?
-No.
458
00:27:37,460 --> 00:27:38,341
Just...
459
00:27:40,460 --> 00:27:42,101
Just chill and get in the mood.
460
00:27:47,501 --> 00:27:49,501
[indistinct chatter]
461
00:27:51,301 --> 00:27:53,660
-[indistinct chatter]
-[rock music over the radio]
462
00:27:57,861 --> 00:27:59,541
[all in silence]
463
00:28:02,301 --> 00:28:04,821
Got to take
such responsibilities seriously.
464
00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,101
You know, massive stakes.
465
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:09,700
Someone's liberty here.
466
00:28:10,381 --> 00:28:12,700
Cost to the taxpayer
of miscarriages of justice?
467
00:28:12,781 --> 00:28:15,660
-[scoffs] It's astronomical.
-[car horn outside]
468
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:21,981
It's probably just thingy, your foreman.
469
00:28:28,141 --> 00:28:30,220
[foreman] The prosecution's adamant
470
00:28:30,301 --> 00:28:33,261
that almost every time they follow
the chain of counterfeit goods,
471
00:28:33,341 --> 00:28:35,700
such as those football shirts,
back to its source,
472
00:28:35,781 --> 00:28:40,381
it's in some way implicated
into a much larger criminal framework,
473
00:28:41,061 --> 00:28:46,460
invariably linked to drugs,
guns, people-smuggling or terrorism.
474
00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:50,341
If that boss-eyed Mickey Mouser
is Al-Qaeda,
475
00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:55,341
then, I'm...
[stammering] Al... Alcohol-free!
476
00:28:55,420 --> 00:28:56,781
[people giggling]
477
00:28:56,861 --> 00:28:59,180
His name's Graeme McEwan.
478
00:28:59,261 --> 00:29:00,581
[scoffs]
479
00:29:00,660 --> 00:29:04,581
Well, isn't it enough that our Graeme's
admitted possession and...
480
00:29:05,460 --> 00:29:08,980
selling snide gear? Eh?
481
00:29:09,061 --> 00:29:11,101
He'll get a hefty fine for that anyway.
482
00:29:11,180 --> 00:29:12,501
Rightly so!
483
00:29:12,581 --> 00:29:17,700
But, as he swears,
isn't it possible that he was ripped off
484
00:29:17,781 --> 00:29:20,061
and didn't know
the football shirts were fake?
485
00:29:20,141 --> 00:29:22,741
Would he risk openly selling them
on Longsight Market
486
00:29:22,821 --> 00:29:24,980
if he honestly thought they were snide?
487
00:29:25,061 --> 00:29:29,741
Hey, I'd give Mr McEwan ten years
just for selling United kits,
488
00:29:29,821 --> 00:29:31,141
but, hey, that's personal.
489
00:29:32,501 --> 00:29:33,660
[Frank] Ah!
490
00:29:34,381 --> 00:29:35,621
[relieved] Ah!
491
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:37,581
[man clapping] Fantastic!
492
00:29:40,301 --> 00:29:44,101
[Micky] "Her truncheon probed his balls
as he flicked his tongue
493
00:29:44,180 --> 00:29:46,741
through the black lace
of her best La Senza knickers...
494
00:29:46,821 --> 00:29:47,660
[Carrie sighs]
495
00:29:47,741 --> 00:29:49,900
'Spread 'em,' her deep voice whispered,
496
00:29:50,501 --> 00:29:51,861
as she removed the handcuffs
497
00:29:51,940 --> 00:29:54,061
to allow him access
to her youthful beast."
498
00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:55,741
Spelling again.
499
00:29:56,460 --> 00:29:59,541
"Youthful breasts, and moist loins.
500
00:29:59,621 --> 00:30:01,581
She grabbed the cell bars,
501
00:30:01,660 --> 00:30:04,381
trousers round her ankles,
La Senza's to the side,
502
00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:07,741
hat perched cheekily
on her short brunette hair.
503
00:30:08,460 --> 00:30:09,781
The prisoner stood.
504
00:30:09,861 --> 00:30:13,301
Ten years of press-ups
had given him the body of an Adonis,
505
00:30:13,381 --> 00:30:16,781
a decade of yearning and the fullest pair
of bollocks she'd ever seen...
506
00:30:16,861 --> 00:30:17,741
[moaning]
507
00:30:18,781 --> 00:30:20,501
That's really well put, Micky.
508
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:24,861
"He slapped her pert buttocks
with enough force
509
00:30:24,940 --> 00:30:27,021
-to hint a threat of pain."
-Oh!
510
00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:29,821
"He gazed at the window,
dreaming of his release,
511
00:30:29,900 --> 00:30:32,220
and cried out in glory: 'Agh!'"
512
00:30:32,301 --> 00:30:33,180
Agh!
513
00:30:34,061 --> 00:30:39,940
"And plunged his throbbing member,
deep and hard, into the grateful copper."
514
00:30:40,021 --> 00:30:41,460
[moans]
515
00:30:51,261 --> 00:30:52,581
[moaning increases]
516
00:30:54,501 --> 00:30:57,700
[moaning] Oh my...
517
00:30:58,301 --> 00:31:00,301
fucking word!
518
00:31:00,381 --> 00:31:02,581
-Language!
-Give me that.
519
00:31:05,061 --> 00:31:06,940
-[wood creaking]
-[Carrie] No!
520
00:31:07,021 --> 00:31:08,980
Nooooo!
521
00:31:09,061 --> 00:31:11,381
-Hey! [moaning]
-A double?
522
00:31:12,141 --> 00:31:14,900
-[Carrie] No!
-Yes! See what I've started?
523
00:31:14,980 --> 00:31:17,021
Someone's nicking my boots!
524
00:31:18,301 --> 00:31:20,621
-[Carrie grunts]
-[wood creaking]
525
00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,261
-[both scream]
-[rumbling]
526
00:31:25,541 --> 00:31:27,341
-[Carrie coughing]
-[Micky grunting]
527
00:31:27,420 --> 00:31:29,061
[both spitting and coughing]
528
00:31:33,220 --> 00:31:34,621
How long you been down here?
529
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:36,861
-[man giggles]
-[Carrie] I'm nicking ya!
530
00:31:38,460 --> 00:31:39,781
[Carrie] Oi! Oi!
531
00:31:39,861 --> 00:31:40,980
[Micky laughs]
532
00:31:42,341 --> 00:31:45,021
-Buzzin'!
-[Carrie laughs]
533
00:31:47,581 --> 00:31:49,420
[Paddy] One, two...
534
00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:53,301
three, four, five.
535
00:31:53,821 --> 00:31:54,781
She loves it here.
536
00:31:54,861 --> 00:31:58,940
I know she does, and I do too.
And it's a treat for us all.
537
00:31:59,021 --> 00:32:02,220
-But it'd be different if it's permanent.
-Why would it?
538
00:32:02,301 --> 00:32:04,861
-Why do you think that?
-It's about my confidence, too.
539
00:32:04,940 --> 00:32:07,180
Moving home
would feel like moving backwards.
540
00:32:07,261 --> 00:32:09,740
You can't stay in that shithole for ever!
541
00:32:11,821 --> 00:32:13,541
That's why I'm moving in with Jamie.
542
00:32:14,700 --> 00:32:15,781
You can't!
543
00:32:16,460 --> 00:32:18,420
Won't that just be treading water?
544
00:32:18,501 --> 00:32:20,141
I can help out, and earn extra cash.
545
00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:22,220
At least it'll feel
I'm achieving something.
546
00:32:22,301 --> 00:32:23,420
We can help with money.
547
00:32:23,501 --> 00:32:26,420
I know you can, Dad,
but it's also about my independence.
548
00:32:27,141 --> 00:32:29,141
[knocking]
549
00:32:30,061 --> 00:32:34,220
[Mimi] A pub's a terrible environment
to be bringing up a little girl.
550
00:32:35,021 --> 00:32:38,940
And what sort of example
is that spoon-faced slag gonna be setting?
551
00:32:41,861 --> 00:32:44,420
-Here you are, lad, 30 quid.
-Nice one.
552
00:32:46,980 --> 00:32:50,740
Ninety-nine, a hundred.
Coming, ready or not...
553
00:32:52,101 --> 00:32:53,781
[Frank] It's the grey market.
554
00:32:53,861 --> 00:32:58,381
No one can tell what's fake any more,
cos it all comes from the same suppliers.
555
00:32:58,460 --> 00:33:00,781
You sound like a conspiracy theorist.
556
00:33:00,861 --> 00:33:02,700
Pardonnez-moi, who wouldn't be?
557
00:33:03,261 --> 00:33:06,581
Classic smokescreens,
diverting suspicion...
558
00:33:06,660 --> 00:33:09,541
[clears throat]
Thingy's name... Er, Saint Bob.
559
00:33:10,341 --> 00:33:13,101
New album every Live Aid. Pro Bono.
560
00:33:13,821 --> 00:33:16,940
Always opposing those in charge?
I bet you'd do better.
561
00:33:17,021 --> 00:33:20,220
Probably legalise drugs, prostitution.
562
00:33:20,301 --> 00:33:24,900
It isn't just Baghead Billy
recording 50 DVDs at once.
563
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:28,660
[Frank] Baghead Billy comes in The Jockey
564
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:32,381
with a rucksack of pirate DVDs
every Saturday.
565
00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:37,460
Often, the big boys are in on it,
so they can wholesale cheaper.
566
00:33:37,541 --> 00:33:41,980
I don't think legitimate companies would
deal with grey-market manufacturers!
567
00:33:42,061 --> 00:33:47,341
What? It's the same people!
China, India, Philippines, Mexico...
568
00:33:47,420 --> 00:33:50,180
The lot, churned out of sweatshops.
569
00:33:50,740 --> 00:33:54,460
Little baby immigrants
knitting their fingers to their widgies
570
00:33:55,261 --> 00:33:58,420
for ten pence a day,
to make your handbags.
571
00:33:58,501 --> 00:34:05,061
Globalisation condemning billions
to... disability and potlessness.
572
00:34:05,141 --> 00:34:06,581
You're diverting attention.
573
00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:08,260
I'm still to be convinced
574
00:34:08,340 --> 00:34:11,421
that Graeme McEwan
isn't part of a wider team!
575
00:34:11,501 --> 00:34:13,421
I'm still to be convinced he is!
576
00:34:13,501 --> 00:34:16,021
[Frank] Okay. Okay.
577
00:34:16,101 --> 00:34:19,101
Let's forget the free-trade conundrum,
578
00:34:19,180 --> 00:34:23,621
and concentrate on poor Graeme, right?
579
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:30,180
He's admitted possessing and selling
counterfeit goods, and he'll be punished.
580
00:34:30,260 --> 00:34:34,260
Regarding the bigger accusation,
let's suppose...
581
00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:39,780
that Graeme does know
where the shirts came from.
582
00:34:39,860 --> 00:34:44,021
Even if he knew,
does that mean he's closely involved
583
00:34:44,101 --> 00:34:46,820
in the workings
of a bigger criminal network?
584
00:34:46,901 --> 00:34:48,101
The police say so.
585
00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:50,541
Picture the scene.
586
00:34:50,621 --> 00:34:55,260
The boss-eyed Scouser
sells a fake shirt down the market
587
00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:57,541
to another lickle immigrant.
588
00:34:57,621 --> 00:35:03,501
What if the punter also knows, deep down,
589
00:35:03,581 --> 00:35:04,981
that it is a fake?
590
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:12,981
Isn't that...
some degree of culpability...
591
00:35:15,661 --> 00:35:16,860
Edith?
592
00:35:18,461 --> 00:35:19,860
I suppose.
593
00:35:19,941 --> 00:35:22,581
[Frank] Wouldn't that imply, by extension,
594
00:35:22,661 --> 00:35:25,581
that the punter
who buys the shirts off Boss-Eye
595
00:35:25,661 --> 00:35:28,381
is also part of a bigger criminal network?
596
00:35:30,101 --> 00:35:37,061
What if the punter was a young woman
who bought a pair of "Gucci" sunglasses,
597
00:35:37,141 --> 00:35:38,981
and she only pays 20 quid for them,
598
00:35:39,061 --> 00:35:42,221
so there's no way she could
have mistaken them for the real deal?
599
00:35:42,300 --> 00:35:47,461
Does it then follow
that any of these regular punters,
600
00:35:47,541 --> 00:35:50,981
or any of us
who've ever bought "designer" clothes,
601
00:35:51,061 --> 00:35:56,421
you know, at a car boot,
are we also members of a terrorist cell?
602
00:35:56,501 --> 00:35:58,701
Or a Colombian cartel?
603
00:35:58,780 --> 00:36:01,181
Sex-trafficking triads?
604
00:36:01,261 --> 00:36:06,461
The halting of which is a massive reason
to legalise prostitution, by the way.
605
00:36:06,541 --> 00:36:12,340
Not forgetting the brand probably copied
more than any other on the planet,
606
00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:16,101
the fake Louis Vuitton handbags.
607
00:36:17,741 --> 00:36:19,021
Oh!
608
00:36:19,101 --> 00:36:23,901
This is real,
you stinking, smart-arsed tramp!
609
00:36:35,381 --> 00:36:36,581
Hey.
610
00:36:40,461 --> 00:36:41,701
One condition.
611
00:36:48,221 --> 00:36:49,421
Not quite.
612
00:36:53,340 --> 00:36:54,661
That's two.
613
00:37:00,661 --> 00:37:02,701
[Helen] Let's vote again, then.
614
00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:05,380
All those who think Boss-Eye's innocent.
615
00:37:10,941 --> 00:37:15,661
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight...
616
00:37:15,741 --> 00:37:17,300
nine.
617
00:37:17,380 --> 00:37:18,981
Majority!
618
00:37:19,061 --> 00:37:20,380
The Scouser's free!
619
00:37:21,221 --> 00:37:22,701
-We're free!
-[Frank] Whoa, whoa!
620
00:37:22,780 --> 00:37:23,741
Hang on a minute!
621
00:37:25,061 --> 00:37:29,981
Yeah, it's coming back to me now.
Something the prosecution mentioned.
622
00:37:30,061 --> 00:37:32,061
[stammering] It's a niggling doubt.
623
00:37:33,340 --> 00:37:35,501
Oh, how stupid!
624
00:37:36,541 --> 00:37:38,421
Forgot all about it.
625
00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:42,101
-I'm going to have to sleep on it.
-[all sighing]
626
00:37:42,981 --> 00:37:45,181
No. Better not count mine just yet.
627
00:37:45,981 --> 00:37:47,181
Abstained!
628
00:37:56,261 --> 00:37:58,141
[Bill] What's got into you tonight?
629
00:38:08,701 --> 00:38:09,820
[moaning passionately]
630
00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:17,701
-Read it to me.
-Why?
631
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:20,421
[kiss] Just read it to me. You'll see.
632
00:38:21,421 --> 00:38:22,300
Hang on.
633
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:23,461
Specs.
634
00:38:23,541 --> 00:38:25,581
-Since when?
-Only sometimes.
635
00:38:29,860 --> 00:38:30,981
Don't you like 'em?
636
00:38:35,340 --> 00:38:36,181
[sighing]
637
00:38:36,820 --> 00:38:38,621
[boy on TV] I wanna be a cowboy! Look...
638
00:38:38,701 --> 00:38:39,541
Mum, Mum!
639
00:38:40,901 --> 00:38:42,261
[kids laughing on TV]
640
00:38:43,461 --> 00:38:47,101
[Mimi on TV] Let him join in, Shane,
stop being a horror. Come on.
641
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,261
-Brew?
-Yeah.
642
00:39:00,621 --> 00:39:01,581
I've been thinking.
643
00:39:03,300 --> 00:39:06,221
Please mum, I know you're unhappy,
but don't drag us down too.
644
00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:07,621
I've made my mind up.
645
00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:09,141
It's okay.
646
00:39:10,021 --> 00:39:10,901
What is?
647
00:39:11,901 --> 00:39:12,741
Open it.
648
00:39:17,581 --> 00:39:19,141
Me mam handed it down.
649
00:39:19,221 --> 00:39:21,300
Bits and bobs from when I was growing up.
650
00:39:22,621 --> 00:39:25,820
And I carried it on,
with stuff from when you were a baby.
651
00:39:34,261 --> 00:39:36,741
I think it's time
you started collecting for Katie.
652
00:39:42,181 --> 00:39:45,141
Right, here we go. Do you want a seat?
What do you want?
653
00:39:45,221 --> 00:39:46,380
-Malibu and Coke.
-Okay.
654
00:39:47,860 --> 00:39:51,221
Karen, pint, Malibu and Coke and an E.
655
00:40:00,581 --> 00:40:01,860
[Karen] Back room.
656
00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:06,380
Stick it on the slate.
657
00:40:11,181 --> 00:40:14,101
[chuckling]
These make me want to sing and dance.
658
00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:17,661
-[glass tinkling]
-Are you married, Frank?
659
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:21,541
Yeah.
660
00:40:21,621 --> 00:40:24,221
Kind of. She might pop by later.
661
00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:26,261
-You?
-Engaged.
662
00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:30,421
Hank Jake Johnson III.
Never get to see him, though.
663
00:40:30,501 --> 00:40:33,621
Because of his long hours,
or your courtroom fetish?
664
00:40:33,701 --> 00:40:35,380
[giggling] He's in Alabama.
665
00:40:35,461 --> 00:40:39,061
-Oh, would be. Online romance?
-Just letters.
666
00:40:39,141 --> 00:40:43,421
Ah! Billet-doux! Traditional!
I'm all fingers and thumbs with computers.
667
00:40:43,501 --> 00:40:46,461
Oh, I can use one. So can Hank Jake.
668
00:40:46,541 --> 00:40:49,340
He's just not allowed to, on Death Row.
669
00:40:49,421 --> 00:40:51,541
-[Helen] Oh!
-[tense music]
670
00:40:52,901 --> 00:40:54,421
Isn't he handsome?
671
00:41:01,340 --> 00:41:02,261
What did he do?
672
00:41:02,340 --> 00:41:06,141
Butchered, barbecued,
and ate 24 homeless homosexual junkies
673
00:41:06,221 --> 00:41:08,701
in San Francisco,
over an eight-year period.
674
00:41:09,941 --> 00:41:11,380
But I know he's sorry now.
675
00:41:15,541 --> 00:41:16,581
You want another drink?
676
00:41:16,661 --> 00:41:21,221
I'm going for a candlelit vigil
with the local church next month.
677
00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:23,581
Should get another postponement.
[chuckling]
678
00:41:26,021 --> 00:41:28,021
-[Helen groaning] Well...
-[Frank squealing]
679
00:41:33,181 --> 00:41:36,860
[door opens and closes]
680
00:41:41,981 --> 00:41:43,621
[Paddy] Did you give her the box?
681
00:41:45,261 --> 00:41:46,581
No tears?
682
00:41:48,701 --> 00:41:50,221
No painful adjustments
683
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:52,380
of my reproductive organs
being considered?
684
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:57,221
No, she's right, Pat. And you're right.
685
00:41:58,380 --> 00:41:59,541
They need to fly.
686
00:42:01,101 --> 00:42:02,541
And I've had enough.
687
00:42:03,461 --> 00:42:04,780
Kids, that is.
688
00:42:09,261 --> 00:42:11,061
[mellow music]
689
00:42:11,141 --> 00:42:14,021
-[dog whining]
-[Mimi excitedly] Aw!
690
00:42:14,901 --> 00:42:17,021
Look at you!
691
00:42:17,741 --> 00:42:20,860
-Oh!
-[loud kiss]
692
00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:24,021
Guess it must be the sense of danger.
693
00:42:25,061 --> 00:42:27,061
I just love the thrill of that threat.
694
00:42:27,981 --> 00:42:29,860
Certain men exude it.
695
00:42:30,901 --> 00:42:32,061
You exude it, Frank.
696
00:42:32,860 --> 00:42:35,820
You're intelligent,
but I know you're unpredictable too.
697
00:42:37,421 --> 00:42:39,860
-Thank you.
-It excites me.
698
00:42:39,941 --> 00:42:42,820
It turns me on,
not knowing what you're gonna do next.
699
00:42:44,981 --> 00:42:46,941
Surprise me.
700
00:42:47,021 --> 00:42:49,061
Show me something dangerous.
701
00:42:51,221 --> 00:42:53,101
-Like what?
-Anything, Frank.
702
00:42:54,901 --> 00:42:55,780
Now?
703
00:42:55,860 --> 00:42:58,661
Right here, right now. Whatever you want.
704
00:42:58,741 --> 00:43:02,061
[sighing softly] Be dangerous, Frank.
705
00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:08,941
Agh!
706
00:43:09,021 --> 00:43:10,380
[Helen moans]
707
00:43:12,461 --> 00:43:16,021
Forgive me, Hank Jake,
I know not what I do.
708
00:43:16,101 --> 00:43:20,021
Harder, Frank, harder!
709
00:43:20,101 --> 00:43:22,300
-Bang to rights!
-[cheering]
710
00:43:22,380 --> 00:43:23,941
[laughing hysterically]
711
00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,981
["Wild Thing" by The Troggs
starts playing]
712
00:43:31,061 --> 00:43:32,701
[all cheering]
713
00:43:32,780 --> 00:43:34,261
[Helen squeals]
714
00:43:36,981 --> 00:43:38,061
Yeah, baby!
715
00:43:38,141 --> 00:43:40,101
[all cheering and whistling]
716
00:43:41,941 --> 00:43:43,860
[Helen squeals]
717
00:43:49,820 --> 00:43:52,461
[all cheering and whistling]
718
00:43:57,061 --> 00:43:58,780
[Frank laughs]
719
00:43:58,860 --> 00:44:00,501
[all cheering and whistling]
720
00:44:00,581 --> 00:44:02,501
[Frank shouts] Party!
721
00:44:07,501 --> 00:44:10,340
♪ Wild thing, I think you move me ♪
722
00:44:11,701 --> 00:44:14,380
♪ But I wanna know for sure ♪
723
00:44:14,461 --> 00:44:15,780
[Helen] Wohoo!
724
00:44:15,860 --> 00:44:18,621
♪ Come on, hold me tight ♪
725
00:44:20,181 --> 00:44:21,261
[thud]
726
00:44:21,340 --> 00:44:22,941
♪ You move me ♪
727
00:44:23,021 --> 00:44:24,701
[rooster]
728
00:44:25,780 --> 00:44:29,621
[Frank] So,
Bob the Bullshit had a point, didn't he?
729
00:44:29,701 --> 00:44:32,340
Whether we're aware of it or not,
the fact is,
730
00:44:32,421 --> 00:44:35,461
unless we're asleep,
we're probably talking shit.
731
00:44:35,541 --> 00:44:37,421
I'll stay.
732
00:44:37,501 --> 00:44:38,780
Stay!
733
00:44:44,900 --> 00:44:47,820
Frank, where's your girlfriend?
734
00:44:47,900 --> 00:44:49,221
In a coma.
735
00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:50,780
All right...
736
00:44:52,501 --> 00:44:55,701
I intend to present...
737
00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:59,300
a case for the defense.
738
00:45:00,701 --> 00:45:01,900
Go on, then.
739
00:45:01,981 --> 00:45:05,621
What chance does he have in a society
740
00:45:05,701 --> 00:45:10,340
that worships material wealth
to such a degree?
741
00:45:12,701 --> 00:45:17,421
It's not what's inside
that counts anymore.
742
00:45:17,501 --> 00:45:22,380
How shiny you appear on the outside
743
00:45:22,461 --> 00:45:26,461
is all that matters
to the youth from today.
744
00:45:26,541 --> 00:45:29,941
-Let's have a vote.
-Great.
745
00:45:30,021 --> 00:45:31,421
Guilty?
746
00:45:31,501 --> 00:45:33,221
-[all] Guilty.
-Yes.
747
00:45:33,300 --> 00:45:37,421
[Frank] So when somebody wants
to shake on it, have this as your motto:
748
00:45:37,501 --> 00:45:39,701
Me hand's me heart, me head's me arse.
749
00:45:39,780 --> 00:45:41,181
Guilty.
750
00:45:41,261 --> 00:45:42,181
[thud]
751
00:45:42,261 --> 00:45:43,860
[people laughing]
752
00:45:43,941 --> 00:45:45,221
[theme song]
753
00:45:47,061 --> 00:45:47,941
The fuck you doing?
754
00:45:48,021 --> 00:45:51,101
I still need love.
Seven kids I've given you!
755
00:45:51,181 --> 00:45:52,501
When have I ever cast it up?
756
00:45:52,581 --> 00:45:54,380
You really are a useless prick,
aren't you?
757
00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:55,900
-I'm not.
-You're going to lose her.
758
00:45:55,981 --> 00:45:57,941
-I can't piss.
-Clinic.
759
00:45:58,021 --> 00:45:59,741
And I'm itching so much
that I'm scratching myself raw.
760
00:45:59,820 --> 00:46:03,061
I do this two days a week until
they can get me full-time at McDonald's.
761
00:46:03,141 --> 00:46:06,300
-What are you doing?
-I am helping.
762
00:46:06,380 --> 00:46:11,141
Fine! I'll stay in, again!
Like the Prisoner of fuckin' Zenda!
763
00:46:11,221 --> 00:46:12,380
-[people cheering]
-[kiss]
764
00:46:12,461 --> 00:46:15,541
He's not the possessive type,
if that's what you're wondering.
765
00:46:15,621 --> 00:46:16,741
I've only got chlamydia.
766
00:46:16,820 --> 00:46:18,021
[theme song]
767
00:46:59,141 --> 00:47:00,261
[knocking]
768
00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:12,661
[indistinct chattering]
769
00:47:12,741 --> 00:47:14,461
I'll take a 1,000.
770
00:47:14,541 --> 00:47:16,261
[indistinct laughing and chattering]
771
00:47:18,461 --> 00:47:22,101
-[loading gun]
-[indistinct conversation]
772
00:47:24,421 --> 00:47:26,380
Go.
773
00:47:26,461 --> 00:47:29,541
Hey, what's going on?
What's up with this guy?
774
00:47:29,621 --> 00:47:31,181
Crazy bastard!
85600
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