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1
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[intro music]
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:11,541
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:11,621 --> 00:00:16,581
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given
4
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:19,061
by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:22,381
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:28,861
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
7
00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:31,901
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
8
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:36,260
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
9
00:00:36,341 --> 00:00:40,940
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:41,021 --> 00:00:45,220
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:49,381
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:49,461 --> 00:00:53,860
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:57,421 --> 00:01:00,741
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:01:00,821 --> 00:01:03,421
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:07,621
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,780
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:13,060
[laughing] [cough]
18
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,381
Scatter!
19
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,821
Party!
20
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:25,461
[Micky] You know what they say,
a change is as good as a rest.
21
00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:27,261
Well, who's "they"?
22
00:01:27,341 --> 00:01:30,780
Never really been into all
that philosophy bollocks, if I'm honest.
23
00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:34,461
Mam says it's cos I'm the type
what calls a spade a spade,
24
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:37,420
but what the fuck else
are you gonna call it?
25
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,821
Sometimes you just wake up
and want to do something different.
26
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,821
And you've got to go with it,
27
00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:45,700
cos if you ignore it,
you get fucking nowhere.
28
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I've got something to tell ya.
29
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[Paddy] Sounds ominous.
30
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:52,541
[Micky] I don't want you to judge me
or disown me.
31
00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:54,780
Somebody's been watching
too much Jeremy Kyle.
32
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:57,261
I'm serious!
33
00:01:57,341 --> 00:01:59,700
I just need to get it out in the open.
34
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:02,580
Saves any sneaking about or bullshit.
35
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,941
-College?
-Study? You?
36
00:02:23,021 --> 00:02:25,100
-I knew this would happen.
-And what about the business?
37
00:02:25,181 --> 00:02:29,260
-It's only part-time.
-Studying what, exactly?
38
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Film.
39
00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:32,781
-And who's going to pay for that?
-I will.
40
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,941
-A qualification, like?
-Obviously.
41
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:39,301
[Paddy] To think we fought all our lives
to bring you up right, son,
42
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:43,501
for you to just go throw it all
back in our faces by turning to education!
43
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,501
[Jamie] Karen!
44
00:02:47,741 --> 00:02:49,061
Karen?
45
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,501
[Jamie] Where's me shin pads?
46
00:02:52,581 --> 00:02:53,820
Karen?
47
00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:55,621
-I'm busy.
-Well, have you seen them?
48
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:59,341
-Have you looked?
-Yeah, I can't find them anywhere.
49
00:02:59,421 --> 00:03:00,941
Since when did I become your mam?
50
00:03:01,021 --> 00:03:03,581
-Oh, forget it!
-You've not even looked properly.
51
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:06,380
Here's me working me tits off
to sort this party
52
00:03:06,461 --> 00:03:09,061
-and all you can think about is footy.
-You're paying people to help you.
53
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,901
-It'll be fine.
-It won't be fine!
54
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:16,420
You can't just keep
burying your head in the sand.
55
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:19,181
-What do you want me to do?
-Make more effort.
56
00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:20,661
That'd be a start.
57
00:03:23,221 --> 00:03:24,181
[door slams]
58
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:26,741
[Frank] Debbie! Debbie!
59
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:28,781
[suspenseful music]
60
00:03:28,861 --> 00:03:30,341
Please!
61
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,861
Please, come on! Just a fiver!
62
00:03:32,941 --> 00:03:36,181
-Hey, last time, promise.
-It's always, "Last time, promise."
63
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,820
Come on,
I'm doing me bit for the credit crunch.
64
00:03:38,901 --> 00:03:40,861
You still owe me a tenner from Tuesday.
65
00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:48,501
Hey, how does it go? "The only man
who sticks closer to you in adversity
66
00:03:48,581 --> 00:03:50,501
other than a friend is a creditor."
67
00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:53,461
-Don't talk shit!
-[Frank] Yeah, but you're me daughter.
68
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,741
You are far closer
than any friend of mine.
69
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,741
You haven't got any friends, Dad.
70
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,700
[suspenseful music]
71
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:10,980
-[Frank] Is that clown harassing you?
-[sighs] Nothing I can't handle.
72
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,461
[suspenseful music]
73
00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:22,620
[Micky] It was me mate what made me come.
74
00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,141
He's gone away.
75
00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:30,461
It's made me realise
you've got to grab stuff while you can.
76
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,421
You know, go for it.
77
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,541
And when you watch a film...
78
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,221
Well, that takes you away, doesn't it?
79
00:04:36,821 --> 00:04:39,261
So, I thought, "I'll try this."
80
00:04:39,981 --> 00:04:43,021
You know, learn something new.
Which is ace, innit?
81
00:04:44,341 --> 00:04:45,461
[teacher] Thanks, Micky.
82
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:50,341
Good to know it's not just cos you think
Will Smith's dead fit, eh, Clare?
83
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:55,781
What do you think?
84
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,381
Stunning.
85
00:04:59,661 --> 00:05:01,221
I missed footy practice for this!
86
00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:05,861
Hey, Karen...
How about a stripper for the party?
87
00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:07,261
We could charge 'em more.
88
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,940
Not bad... for you.
89
00:05:10,981 --> 00:05:12,261
Nice move!
90
00:05:14,541 --> 00:05:15,661
Ah! [in pain]
91
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:17,781
You all right, lad?
92
00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:19,141
-What have you done?
-[Carl] Ah, me arm!
93
00:05:19,221 --> 00:05:20,341
[Norma] Shit!
94
00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:23,180
Jesus! [panting]
95
00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:25,901
That's a bairn?
96
00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:28,101
Get rid of it.
97
00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:29,781
[both] What?
98
00:05:29,861 --> 00:05:30,940
It's not mine!
99
00:05:31,021 --> 00:05:33,380
-We should call the police.
-No way!
100
00:05:33,461 --> 00:05:34,620
[Karen] They'll shut us down.
101
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,620
Get rid of it. You get that seen to.
102
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:39,541
And you... take over!
103
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,261
[ominous music]
104
00:05:43,221 --> 00:05:45,461
[front door opens and shuts]
105
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:54,821
[Mimi] Homework?
106
00:05:55,461 --> 00:05:56,821
It's part of me assignment.
107
00:05:57,341 --> 00:05:59,740
An assignment? Very clever!
108
00:05:59,821 --> 00:06:04,021
I just want something for myself!
Why do you always have to take the piss?
109
00:06:04,541 --> 00:06:06,701
-I'm not, son.
-No, you've got Dad!
110
00:06:06,781 --> 00:06:08,940
Jamie's got The Jockey, Shane's got Kelly,
111
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:10,861
Mandy's got Katie... What have I got?
112
00:06:11,661 --> 00:06:13,901
A few pairs of shit-flickers,
and a pink car?
113
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,701
Tell you the truth,
I've thought about studying for years.
114
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,740
I'd love to do something like this.
115
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,180
What have you got to do, then?
116
00:06:27,581 --> 00:06:29,180
What they do in Hollywood.
117
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:32,261
You've got to put the whole film
into one sentence,
118
00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:33,820
and see if it sounds like a goer.
119
00:06:34,981 --> 00:06:38,500
What, like, "Mad-fuck mummy's boy
gets giddy with a knife"?
120
00:06:39,661 --> 00:06:41,301
[laughs loudly]
121
00:06:43,301 --> 00:06:44,461
Carl Gallagher?
122
00:06:45,661 --> 00:06:47,421
[soft sweet melody]
123
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,661
They pay you fuck all for this.
Why do you do it?
124
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:57,301
Always wanted to help people.
It's my vocation.
125
00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:58,661
Your what?
126
00:06:59,301 --> 00:07:02,221
Like a calling.
Some jobs you just have to do.
127
00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:08,701
It's a very attractive personality trait,
Carl, having a vocation.
128
00:07:08,781 --> 00:07:11,180
I'm just like that. Help anyone, me.
129
00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,620
-Really?
-Runs in the family.
130
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:18,021
My brother's abroad at the moment.
Works for Save The Children.
131
00:07:18,101 --> 00:07:20,260
[techno music playing] [all cheering]
132
00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:28,620
We're always looking
for volunteers here, you know.
133
00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:35,740
"My mouth slipped off her hardened nipple,
134
00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:39,101
and I kissed and licked my way
down her tight body.
135
00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:44,141
Her skin tasted like sweet vanilla,
and I wanted to devour her.
136
00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:46,740
As I went to my knees,
137
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:50,781
my fingers slipped inside
as she whimpered with pure pleasure."
138
00:07:51,861 --> 00:07:53,260
[Mimi] How are you getting on?
139
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,500
[stammering] I can't do it!
140
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,661
"Classic animation
is not just for children,
141
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:04,940
and is an equally legitimate
dramatic tool as film.
142
00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:05,901
Discuss."
143
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:07,541
See?
144
00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:12,421
I'll tell you what this needs...
a sharp, analytical mind.
145
00:08:13,581 --> 00:08:14,781
I'll do it for you, son.
146
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,541
He just needs a bit of encouragement
every now and then.
147
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:24,901
He can be a bit stubborn.
148
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:28,620
Go on, mate. Your move.
149
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:29,661
[nurse] Stubborn?
150
00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:30,620
My Walter?
151
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:33,381
You wouldn't know
the meaning of the word, would you, love?
152
00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:40,060
Eighteen or eighty...
you are all the same.
153
00:08:42,141 --> 00:08:43,141
[nurse] Carl's move.
154
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:45,301
Sorry.
155
00:08:45,381 --> 00:08:48,781
What are you apologising to me for?
Fast as a leopard, this old-timer.
156
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:49,821
I keep telling him,
157
00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:52,621
if I were ten years older,
and he were ten younger,
158
00:08:52,701 --> 00:08:53,861
we'd probably be together.
159
00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:56,501
We just clicked, didn't we, babe?
160
00:08:56,581 --> 00:08:57,460
Bollocks!
161
00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:58,421
Serious.
162
00:09:00,781 --> 00:09:02,021
Fucking wadded.
163
00:09:12,821 --> 00:09:15,340
I could just tell you a lie,
or I could just be honest.
164
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:16,301
Are you with me?
165
00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:19,621
Not really, Miss.
166
00:09:19,701 --> 00:09:22,181
You shouldn't have got my story
in with your assignment.
167
00:09:23,821 --> 00:09:24,781
That was yours?
168
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,061
Yeah. I wrote it.
169
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:28,741
I do it on the side, just...
170
00:09:30,701 --> 00:09:32,421
short stories with a twist, really.
171
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:33,381
Not bad.
172
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:38,301
It's just a hobby, and they pay me.
[nervous laughter]
173
00:09:38,381 --> 00:09:41,421
Aw, nice one.
You know, getting paid for a hobby.
174
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:43,541
It's not quite as simple as that.
175
00:09:43,621 --> 00:09:45,581
They're just words. It can't be that hard.
176
00:09:48,181 --> 00:09:50,141
Have a go yourself, then,
if you're so sure.
177
00:09:55,741 --> 00:09:57,781
-What, now?
-I'm waiting.
178
00:10:00,181 --> 00:10:01,061
All right.
179
00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:09,220
How about, "His thrusts pumped harder
as his seed boiled in his balls,
180
00:10:09,301 --> 00:10:11,741
ready to spill out into her velvet chasm"?
181
00:10:13,421 --> 00:10:15,821
Bloody hell, that's great, Micky!
182
00:10:16,701 --> 00:10:18,621
Hey, do you reckon they'd pay me and all?
183
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,220
Maybe we should go back to mine,
184
00:10:22,301 --> 00:10:23,901
-grab a coffee?
-Yeah.
185
00:10:26,701 --> 00:10:29,301
There's not much difference
between his world and ours.
186
00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:33,821
His mother was a single parent,
his father was permanently AWOL.
187
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:37,021
Poor little bastard
had fuck all stability.
188
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:40,901
-Makes you think, doesn't it?
-Yes, love.
189
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:43,941
[sniffling] We've done all right
by our kids, haven't we?
190
00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:46,980
-Of course we have, love.
-[Mimi] Even if I did get shot, I mean,
191
00:10:47,061 --> 00:10:48,381
at least you'd still be here,
192
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,821
not like that fucker,
out gallivanting, flashing his horns.
193
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:56,261
You know, he had exactly the same shit
on his plate as us,
194
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:58,061
did that Bambi!
195
00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:02,061
I'm just, er...
popping out for a pint, love.
196
00:11:02,141 --> 00:11:03,421
[sobbing] Okay.
197
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,541
-[front door opens]
-[indistinct chatter on TV]
198
00:11:16,621 --> 00:11:18,301
-[door shuts]
-[Stan] Hiya.
199
00:11:18,381 --> 00:11:19,621
Hiya, love.
200
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,381
[kiss]
201
00:11:24,661 --> 00:11:28,220
-Good day at school, Ches?
-Depends what you class as good.
202
00:11:32,661 --> 00:11:34,021
I said the wrong thing again.
203
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:37,381
Come on, was it really that long ago
since you were his age?
204
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:38,421
[Stan] No.
205
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:41,860
You could make more of an effort,
at least try and bond.
206
00:11:41,941 --> 00:11:44,941
Like I haven't been doing?
207
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:47,061
I'm sick of this!
208
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,941
All I want is a bit of harmony.
209
00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:54,100
You're both male.
You must have something in common.
210
00:12:11,701 --> 00:12:13,141
Jamie!
211
00:12:19,621 --> 00:12:20,941
[dance music playing]
212
00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:22,980
We've hardly got anything to say any more.
213
00:12:23,061 --> 00:12:24,501
Wait till they start with the baby oil.
214
00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:26,901
He's getting right on me nerves.
215
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:30,661
I never quite got that.
Rubbing up a complete stranger.
216
00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:33,501
Some of these women
haven't had a shag in ten years.
217
00:12:33,581 --> 00:12:34,501
So?
218
00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:37,460
So, they pay me a fiver
for a ticket to see a bit of cock.
219
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:40,181
There's no crime
in wanting to break the routine.
220
00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:42,340
Seven-year itch? Already?
221
00:12:42,421 --> 00:12:45,301
It just all seems a bit flat.
222
00:12:45,381 --> 00:12:48,460
Karen? I've found an article.
223
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:52,581
The previous landlord was shacked up here
with some bird that topped herself.
224
00:12:52,661 --> 00:12:55,701
Er... Gloria someone.
225
00:12:55,781 --> 00:12:59,381
-Guess why?
-Why, Norma?
226
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:02,261
She never got over the death of her baby.
227
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:06,620
Everyone has bad patches.
It will pass, you know?
228
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:10,021
I keep hoping it will,
and things will just perk right back up.
229
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,021
You two are solid. You'll just ride it.
230
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,220
Who says I want to, though?
231
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:23,220
She'll calm down.
232
00:13:23,301 --> 00:13:26,061
It's best if I just keep out
of her way for a bit, Dad.
233
00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:28,460
You know what women are like.
I do know it, son.
234
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,901
-[Shane] What are you doing here?
-Giving the missus a wide berth.
235
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:33,581
[Paddy] He's having a breather.
236
00:13:33,661 --> 00:13:36,181
-Trouble?
-Yeah, sort of.
237
00:13:36,261 --> 00:13:39,740
-[Paddy] Morning, Hitchcock.
-She finally kicked you out, then?
238
00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:41,501
You're not getting a divorce, are ya?
239
00:13:41,581 --> 00:13:43,220
Am I fuck! No, it's nothing.
240
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,061
It's just... Well, you know how it is
when everything you do is wrong.
241
00:13:47,141 --> 00:13:49,661
Where's your spine?
You sound like a right poof.
242
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:51,421
[Paddy] He's right, for once.
243
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,620
Pussyfooting won't get you anywhere.
244
00:13:53,701 --> 00:13:55,501
Take the upper hand.
Act like a man for a change.
245
00:13:55,581 --> 00:13:57,460
Show them who's boss. They love that.
246
00:13:58,581 --> 00:13:59,501
You're a Maguire!
247
00:13:59,581 --> 00:14:01,740
Balls of steel. Like your father.
248
00:14:01,821 --> 00:14:02,980
Coco Pops, sweetheart?
249
00:14:07,021 --> 00:14:08,821
Lose the sock, Pablo.
250
00:14:09,821 --> 00:14:14,261
-[Mandy] It's not Pablo, really, is it?
-No. Alan.
251
00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:16,460
And you're not from Rio de Janeiro?
252
00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:18,220
Wigan, actually.
253
00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:20,620
[stripper] Sorry.
254
00:14:23,141 --> 00:14:24,100
See ya.
255
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,581
[derisive laughter]
256
00:14:27,661 --> 00:14:29,340
No-one wants to see that.
257
00:14:29,421 --> 00:14:31,901
-It was your idea in the first place.
-I meant a bird.
258
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:32,901
Typical.
259
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:35,980
The women round here
are gonna love that, aren't they, girls?
260
00:14:36,061 --> 00:14:38,301
We're supposed to be bringing people in,
not driving them away!
261
00:14:38,381 --> 00:14:40,980
Like I don't know that,
after all the work I've done!
262
00:14:41,061 --> 00:14:45,220
-You're not the only one grafting.
-You have painted a wall, Jamie!
263
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:47,141
Nothing's enough, is it?
264
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:51,781
[gags]
265
00:14:52,821 --> 00:14:55,500
-[nurse] Come on.
-[Carl sighs] Thanks.
266
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:58,460
-Shit's not one of my strong points.
-[nurse laughs]
267
00:15:00,581 --> 00:15:03,781
-You're supposed to be on the ward.
-The poor lad just needs easing in.
268
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,781
I think he can look after himself,
can't you, Carl?
269
00:15:05,860 --> 00:15:06,701
Yeah.
270
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,740
-Shift it, you.
-All those wasted years at charm school!
271
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:13,421
Listen, lady,
if those beds aren't done by one,
272
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,021
it's me who gets it in the neck,
273
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:18,181
and I won't be taking the rap
for some two-bit auxiliary, alright?
274
00:15:18,261 --> 00:15:19,860
Don't talk to her like that!
275
00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:21,821
-Excuse me?
-Leave it, Carl.
276
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:23,381
No! What right has she got?
277
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:27,620
I must admit, Carl, I thought
you were a man of more seasoned taste.
278
00:15:27,701 --> 00:15:30,701
You know what? Fuck off!
You can stick your shit job.
279
00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:33,261
You'd have to be mental
to do this for nowt.
280
00:15:36,941 --> 00:15:37,901
[nurse] Carl!
281
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,421
Thanks for sticking up for me.
282
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:46,141
I should have just got on with the job.
I was well in there.
283
00:15:48,421 --> 00:15:49,901
[dramatic music]
284
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:51,021
Have you talked to her?
285
00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:54,620
So she can tell me again how shit I am?
286
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:59,340
I can't do right for doing wrong, Dad.
It's relentless.
287
00:15:59,421 --> 00:16:01,821
I just want to scream at him all the time.
288
00:16:01,901 --> 00:16:05,701
You're good mates, you two, underneath.
That's got to count for summat.
289
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,220
Nah!
290
00:16:07,781 --> 00:16:10,181
Wrong time of the month,
that's all it'll be.
291
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:14,181
-You do love him, don't you?
-[Karen] Not as much as I can hate him.
292
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:16,380
I feel like I could kill him,
293
00:16:17,421 --> 00:16:20,781
like actually pick up a knife
and slash his throat.
294
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:22,541
[Kelly] That bad?
295
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:26,021
-[Paddy] Have you checked the tides?
-You're talking shit, Dad.
296
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,661
On my life, son.
297
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,021
Leave the bog seat up
in our house of a full moon,
298
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,261
and your mother
turns into a screaming banshee.
299
00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,421
But it's romantic, what you did.
300
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,460
The novelty soon wears off.
301
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:42,500
He couldn't give a shit any more
about me or this place.
302
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,500
I don't get it.
303
00:16:44,581 --> 00:16:48,021
[chuckling] It's marriage, son,
you're not supposed to.
304
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,980
I think I'm losing him, Kelly.
305
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:08,380
What do you think?
306
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:15,620
-Where did you get this?
-Perks of the job, that's all.
307
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,741
It's for you.
308
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:19,701
Wouldn't be my first choice.
309
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,021
[Stan exhales]
310
00:17:24,261 --> 00:17:26,501
-[tapping]
-[Stan humming]
311
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,581
[Mimi] Years I made Shane wear
that patch to sort out his squint.
312
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,821
That's all she was doing for Dumbo.
313
00:17:41,821 --> 00:17:44,821
How's it her fault
he's got big fuck-off ears?
314
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,261
Mole, sweetheart.
315
00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:49,621
And when she sticks up for him,
he gets even more shit,
316
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,660
cos they've branded his mam a nutter!
317
00:17:54,221 --> 00:17:56,261
How do you ever get over
that sort of thing?
318
00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:57,900
Imagine it!
319
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:01,701
-All rise, it's Spielberg.
-All right?
320
00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:05,581
B.
321
00:18:06,221 --> 00:18:09,381
B? [yelling] I got a B!
322
00:18:09,461 --> 00:18:11,541
[laughing with joy]
Did you hear that, Paddy?
323
00:18:17,301 --> 00:18:18,301
[knock at door]
324
00:18:23,741 --> 00:18:25,301
Fuck me, you look nice.
325
00:18:25,381 --> 00:18:27,741
Good job I do, cos you're taking me out.
326
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:30,581
-Hiya.
-Hi.
327
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:32,861
It's the least you can do,
328
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,461
since I saved you
from the clutches of that silly boot.
329
00:18:35,541 --> 00:18:36,781
This is Maxine.
330
00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:38,900
-Hi.
-Oh, hiya.
331
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:40,501
Is she yours?
332
00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:42,981
-[Monica] Yeah.
-Won't be a sec.
333
00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:44,180
Can I have this one, Mon?
334
00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,381
Uh-huh.
335
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:48,061
You look amazing
for a bird that's just sprogged.
336
00:18:48,141 --> 00:18:49,660
-Oh, thanks!
-[Stella crying]
337
00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:52,821
Norma, what are you doing?
338
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:53,821
Nowt.
339
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,261
[fast-paced upbeat music]
340
00:19:11,061 --> 00:19:13,581
-Get your coat, you've pulled.
-[Carl panting]
341
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:16,061
[Maxine] My Auntie Julie's into all this.
342
00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:17,341
She sells door-to-door.
343
00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:19,621
You should see the boot of the car,
boxes full of creams.
344
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:20,621
What creams?
345
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,940
Anti-wrinkle, anti-blackhead,
anti-cellulite.
346
00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:25,781
Auntie Julie's got a cream for it.
347
00:19:25,861 --> 00:19:29,141
-Anti-cellulite?
-Amazing. Honest.
348
00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:31,021
[Maxine] See?
349
00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:33,621
[Maxine] So, where you off?
350
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,461
Just to The Jockey. Got a bit of a do on.
351
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:38,501
-Dressed like that?
-They've done it up. About bloody time.
352
00:19:38,581 --> 00:19:41,061
Love a good do, me.
We'll all go, shall we?
353
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,180
-[Maxine] What's that smell?
-[Debbie] It's not me, it's Carl!
354
00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:45,261
[Carl] What smell?
355
00:19:45,341 --> 00:19:46,461
[door slams]
356
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,900
-[dance music playing]
-[people cheering]
357
00:19:54,581 --> 00:19:55,461
All right?
358
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,581
-Hiya, mate.
-Hiya.
359
00:19:57,660 --> 00:20:00,021
-That's Joe, the new footy captain.
-Hi!
360
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,821
-Hi. Mandy.
-All right?
361
00:20:05,981 --> 00:20:08,061
[women cheering]
362
00:20:10,581 --> 00:20:14,541
If I wanted meat and two veg with me pint,
I'd drink at the Berni Inn.
363
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:17,700
-He's got a point.
-He's just doing his job.
364
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,621
What's wrong with a lap dancer?
That's entertainment!
365
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:21,861
[men cheering]
366
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:23,541
-[men] Off! Off! Off!
-[Carl] Off! Off!
367
00:20:23,621 --> 00:20:25,021
[man shouts] Get off!
368
00:20:25,101 --> 00:20:26,420
Time's up!
369
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:28,621
[men] Off, off!
370
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:31,981
-Bloody hell! Is it always this lively?
-You call this lively?
371
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,061
We're losing customers, Karen.
372
00:20:37,141 --> 00:20:38,541
Sling it, you muppet.
373
00:20:38,621 --> 00:20:40,420
Fuck it. Fuck it. Turn it off.
374
00:20:41,821 --> 00:20:43,301
-[music stops]
-[man] Get off!
375
00:20:43,381 --> 00:20:45,501
-See?
-So, it's gone a bit wrong.
376
00:20:45,581 --> 00:20:49,141
-[Jamie] It's a total disaster, Karen.
-[Karen] We're busy, aren't we?
377
00:20:49,221 --> 00:20:53,061
-You should've listened.
-[Karen] One piddly suggestion, Jamie!
378
00:20:53,141 --> 00:20:55,501
It's took a lot more than that
to pull this lot off.
379
00:20:55,581 --> 00:20:57,461
It's not my fault nobody wants to see it.
380
00:20:58,221 --> 00:20:59,781
Well, some of them do. Look.
381
00:20:59,861 --> 00:21:01,581
[women singing]
♪ How do you like it? ♪
382
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,501
♪ Oh, oh, oh! ♪
383
00:21:02,581 --> 00:21:04,221
[woman] Them lot are gagging for it.
384
00:21:04,301 --> 00:21:06,581
I just wanted
everyone to have a good night.
385
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,301
Well, I'm having a good night.
386
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,381
Look, most of them are that desperate,
they'd pay to watch anything strip.
387
00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:22,541
I'm sorry about that, everyone.
If you can just be patient with me,
388
00:21:22,621 --> 00:21:25,301
I'll have some more entertainment
sorted in a minute, so...
389
00:21:27,101 --> 00:21:28,900
[dance music playing]
390
00:21:31,221 --> 00:21:33,741
That's more like it! Yeah!
391
00:21:33,821 --> 00:21:36,461
[people cheering]
392
00:21:46,301 --> 00:21:48,061
[crowd] Off, off, off!
393
00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:55,221
-Moral support!
-She's smart, that one.
394
00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,621
-[men cheering]
-[whistles]
395
00:21:59,781 --> 00:22:00,781
[groaning]
396
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,381
Go on, girls!
397
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,821
Can't let the side down.
398
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,741
-Whoa, neddy.
-Dad, I'm not ten!
399
00:22:11,821 --> 00:22:13,221
I'm not your little girl any more!
400
00:22:17,261 --> 00:22:19,501
Surplus to requirements, Lillian.
401
00:22:19,581 --> 00:22:20,981
Yeah!
402
00:22:26,341 --> 00:22:28,700
What good am I for her these days?
403
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:30,261
She'll come round.
404
00:22:30,341 --> 00:22:34,381
I was the same at her age,
like an uncontrollable tiger.
405
00:22:34,460 --> 00:22:36,301
I'm no different now, if I'm honest.
406
00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:47,940
-[all quiet]
-[Lillian] Hello, boys!
407
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:52,221
[crow croaking]
408
00:22:52,301 --> 00:22:53,301
[laughing]
409
00:22:53,381 --> 00:22:55,261
[Carl whispers]
410
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:57,940
[laughing]
411
00:22:58,021 --> 00:22:59,700
Debbie?
412
00:22:59,781 --> 00:23:01,061
Oh, sorry, I've got a date.
413
00:23:01,141 --> 00:23:03,741
-Who?
-So have you.
414
00:23:03,821 --> 00:23:05,541
Subtle.
415
00:23:05,621 --> 00:23:07,061
[giggling]
416
00:23:07,141 --> 00:23:09,221
My kind of bird.
417
00:23:09,301 --> 00:23:12,341
-Back to mine?
-What for?
418
00:23:13,741 --> 00:23:15,420
-Coffee?
-Coffee?
419
00:23:16,781 --> 00:23:19,861
-[groaning]
-[moaning]
420
00:23:24,341 --> 00:23:27,141
[both moaning intensely]
421
00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:30,141
[Carl grunts]
422
00:23:30,221 --> 00:23:33,221
-Oh! Sorry. Are you all right?
-Shh! Keep going.
423
00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:37,981
[Maxine moaning]
424
00:23:38,061 --> 00:23:41,700
[all laughing hysterically]
425
00:23:41,781 --> 00:23:43,621
She's built like a brick shithouse,
426
00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:46,261
and she's grabbing hold of them like this,
and she's got big hands,
427
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:50,261
like fella's hands, all big and veiny,
and she's shouting at me.
428
00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:54,061
-I'd have told her to sling it.
-[Debbie] Did you get 'em back?
429
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:55,940
Hiya, babes! Toast?
430
00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:03,101
[indistinct radio chatter]
431
00:24:12,021 --> 00:24:12,940
Jamie!
432
00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:17,581
Stop following me.
433
00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:19,940
[sighing]
We're bound to bump into each other.
434
00:24:20,021 --> 00:24:23,101
Sitting in your car watching me
isn't us bumping into each other.
435
00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:25,981
But this is!
436
00:24:26,061 --> 00:24:27,541
Just stay away.
437
00:24:27,621 --> 00:24:30,621
You should be with me enjoying yourself,
not bringing her up.
438
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:33,021
I'm not bringing her up.
439
00:24:33,101 --> 00:24:34,821
You're old before your time, Debs.
440
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,781
At least when you were with me
we had fun, didn't we?
441
00:24:37,861 --> 00:24:39,700
Don't kid yourself, grandad!
442
00:24:46,021 --> 00:24:47,861
[girls shouting]
443
00:24:49,741 --> 00:24:52,420
[Carrie] Hey, break it up, now!
444
00:24:52,501 --> 00:24:53,581
Now!
445
00:24:54,541 --> 00:24:55,420
[Carrie] Away!
446
00:24:55,501 --> 00:24:56,981
What are you with fighting girls for, huh?
447
00:24:57,061 --> 00:24:58,101
He was helping me!
448
00:24:58,180 --> 00:24:59,940
-They jumped me!
-She jumped us!
449
00:25:00,021 --> 00:25:01,101
Hey!
450
00:25:01,180 --> 00:25:02,221
They've got my mp3 player.
451
00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:04,660
Look at my face!
She nearly scratched me eyes out!
452
00:25:04,741 --> 00:25:07,381
-What's going on, Meena?
-[Chesney] That's right, take their side.
453
00:25:07,460 --> 00:25:09,141
-You're all the same.
-It's not about sides,
454
00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:12,141
you're committing a public order offence,
not to mention assault.
455
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:13,660
Now clear off, you two.
456
00:25:14,381 --> 00:25:16,861
[Chesney]
See? That's it. Let the white girls go!
457
00:25:16,940 --> 00:25:18,660
-Well, that's enough.
-Schoolies, too.
458
00:25:18,741 --> 00:25:20,981
-Just your type.
-Why are you so angry, eh?
459
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,341
I've seen what it's like for you.
460
00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:24,501
You don't go short,
you spoilt little bastard.
461
00:25:24,581 --> 00:25:26,501
It's got nothing to do with colour!
462
00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:29,460
[shouting]
We just expect this bollocks from you!
463
00:25:29,541 --> 00:25:30,541
Come on.
464
00:25:30,621 --> 00:25:32,781
We'll sort it out down the station, yeah?
465
00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:40,180
[Micky] She was desperate
to get hold of it once more.
466
00:25:40,261 --> 00:25:41,981
It wasn't the longest she'd seen,
467
00:25:42,061 --> 00:25:45,180
but the fact that she couldn't get
her hand round it told a story.
468
00:25:45,261 --> 00:25:46,621
[laughs]
469
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:50,220
They couldn't wait a minute longer.
470
00:25:50,301 --> 00:25:53,861
She reached for his belt
as he tore off her shirt.
471
00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:55,420
I bet she isn't wearing a bra, is she?
472
00:25:55,501 --> 00:25:57,420
-No.
-Dirty bitch!
473
00:25:57,501 --> 00:26:01,940
She looked up at his chest,
all glistening with sweat. [panting]
474
00:26:02,821 --> 00:26:04,741
His hard abs, and full pecs,
475
00:26:04,821 --> 00:26:08,021
rolling up and down with his deep,
manly breathing.
476
00:26:08,101 --> 00:26:09,940
You're making us wait, aren't you?
477
00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:12,101
-Yeah.
-Criminal.
478
00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:17,741
As she ground him down, [slapping]
faster and harder,
479
00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,261
he bit on her erect nipple as the blood
480
00:26:20,341 --> 00:26:22,621
rushed excitedly into his dick--
-Cock!
481
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:24,420
-Cock!
-Does he fuck her then?
482
00:26:25,101 --> 00:26:26,301
-Yeah.
-How?
483
00:26:26,381 --> 00:26:27,660
Up the arse?
484
00:26:28,781 --> 00:26:30,101
I meant "from behind".
485
00:26:30,981 --> 00:26:33,180
I absolutely love it doggy!
486
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:37,220
I think I'd prefer
it if these two were face to face.
487
00:26:37,981 --> 00:26:38,821
[door opens]
488
00:26:42,501 --> 00:26:43,781
Hi, darl'.
489
00:26:47,861 --> 00:26:51,581
[Karen] Grow up! It's just me tits.
I kept them drinking, didn't I?
490
00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:53,741
-It's not just that.
-What is it?
491
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:58,700
Everything. All this!
492
00:26:58,781 --> 00:27:01,940
It's a constant battle. [sighs]
493
00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:04,460
-It doesn't last long, does it?
-What?
494
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:06,061
The honeymoon.
495
00:27:06,141 --> 00:27:08,940
-Karen...
-What, Norma?
496
00:27:09,021 --> 00:27:12,341
I googled that Harris bloke.
He did 15 years for murder!
497
00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:15,141
-So?
-He probably did away with both of them.
498
00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:18,781
If I can find out where he is, he might
be able to tell us about Gloria's baby.
499
00:27:18,861 --> 00:27:21,420
-Gloria's fucking baby?
-Calm down.
500
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:23,420
I just want closure, Karen.
501
00:27:23,501 --> 00:27:26,021
Have you heard yourself?
Who the fuck is Gloria?
502
00:27:26,101 --> 00:27:27,900
I told you to dump the fucking baby,
503
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:30,301
so, why haven't you dumped
the fucking baby?
504
00:27:31,501 --> 00:27:33,581
I just... want... closure.
505
00:27:36,861 --> 00:27:37,700
Look...
506
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:40,700
You two should have a night out.
507
00:27:41,501 --> 00:27:43,220
Out of this place? Doubt it.
508
00:27:43,861 --> 00:27:46,861
Well, I can cover for you.
One night wouldn't hurt.
509
00:27:49,021 --> 00:27:50,101
Told you.
510
00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:53,101
[stammering]
Look... I could stay over, if you like.
511
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,821
You could have a late one.
512
00:27:56,741 --> 00:27:58,501
-Would ya?
-Course.
513
00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:02,180
We should do something.
514
00:28:04,660 --> 00:28:06,861
You can put one of them in the loos,
if you want.
515
00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:09,741
You all right, Karen?
516
00:28:10,861 --> 00:28:12,021
Pay day.
517
00:28:12,981 --> 00:28:14,821
Hey... top night.
518
00:28:21,021 --> 00:28:23,981
-Eyes up, pal!
-[Karen] Jamie!
519
00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:35,940
Oh, here he comes, PC Patronising.
520
00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:39,660
Listen, kids.
521
00:28:39,741 --> 00:28:41,821
It's his fault we're here,
in the first place.
522
00:28:42,501 --> 00:28:43,381
That's not fair.
523
00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:46,301
Where did you get the mp3 player?
Lost property box?
524
00:28:46,381 --> 00:28:47,220
You're all snides.
525
00:28:47,301 --> 00:28:49,301
Give it a rest for a minute, Chesney!
526
00:28:50,141 --> 00:28:51,621
I've had a word with the Sarge.
527
00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:53,460
-So?
-I'm taking you home.
528
00:28:53,541 --> 00:28:55,420
Oh! So you can grass to Mum?
529
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,900
-Why would I do that?
-Cos you're a copper?
530
00:29:00,741 --> 00:29:02,700
And make things even tougher for meself?
531
00:29:09,861 --> 00:29:11,021
This is brilliant.
532
00:29:12,581 --> 00:29:13,501
Cheers, mate.
533
00:29:14,180 --> 00:29:16,541
-Good enough to submit, isn't it?
-Definitely.
534
00:29:17,741 --> 00:29:18,781
Where to?
535
00:29:18,861 --> 00:29:22,101
Online. There's a few different sites,
depending on what you're good at.
536
00:29:22,741 --> 00:29:23,581
What like?
537
00:29:24,700 --> 00:29:27,541
Couples, swingers, animals...
538
00:29:28,781 --> 00:29:29,660
Gay.
539
00:29:32,261 --> 00:29:33,781
Want to stick around for a beer?
540
00:29:34,341 --> 00:29:37,821
I am genuinely sorry
you think I've been ignoring you.
541
00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:44,381
But don't think of me badly, please.
We need each other,
542
00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:48,420
cos things are gonna be better
from now on, for both of us.
543
00:29:49,940 --> 00:29:53,061
I mean, we can join forces, kid.
544
00:29:53,741 --> 00:29:55,621
You know, you and me versus the world.
545
00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:01,341
Hey... our special pact!
546
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:03,420
-[Carl] Debbie?
-[Debbie] Yeah?
547
00:30:04,141 --> 00:30:06,341
-What do you think you're playing at?
-What?
548
00:30:06,420 --> 00:30:09,101
-Arranging to go out with my bird.
-It's just a drink.
549
00:30:09,180 --> 00:30:10,741
I were gonna take her out tonight.
550
00:30:10,821 --> 00:30:14,341
-[Debbie] Oh, you're not jealous, are you?
-Am I fuck.
551
00:30:14,420 --> 00:30:15,301
[giggling]
552
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:17,861
[door shuts]
553
00:30:18,581 --> 00:30:21,660
Promise me you'll always be there for me.
554
00:30:21,741 --> 00:30:24,061
-[opens can of beer]
-[Stella giggles]
555
00:30:29,541 --> 00:30:31,460
-[burp]
-[Stella giggles]
556
00:30:31,541 --> 00:30:33,101
One thing it has done, Paddy,
557
00:30:33,180 --> 00:30:36,101
is make me look at life
from an animal's perspective.
558
00:30:36,180 --> 00:30:38,381
Fuck Badger Watch! That's just boring.
559
00:30:39,061 --> 00:30:41,180
[Mimi's voice muffled]
It's weird how it sucks you in.
560
00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:44,141
They make you really feel
for the character, don't they?
561
00:30:44,220 --> 00:30:46,341
Just a splash of colour
and a squeaky voice,
562
00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:48,660
[snapping fingers]
and that's it, you're there.
563
00:30:48,741 --> 00:30:50,940
I could go on forever about this, Patrick.
564
00:30:51,021 --> 00:30:52,141
For infinity.
565
00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:56,460
You see, now I know
how it must have felt for Buzz Lightyear!
566
00:30:56,541 --> 00:30:58,821
-Mimi, would you do me a favour?
-Yeah.
567
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,341
Shut the fuck up.
568
00:31:03,980 --> 00:31:05,021
He likes us.
569
00:31:06,621 --> 00:31:07,581
He's bright.
570
00:31:07,660 --> 00:31:08,541
[toilet flushes]
571
00:31:08,621 --> 00:31:09,460
He's cute.
572
00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:13,261
Your very own prodigy.
573
00:31:14,621 --> 00:31:15,741
Imagine. [chuckling]
574
00:31:16,660 --> 00:31:19,180
-Reckon he's game?
-Know he is.
575
00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:25,861
Micky, mate...
576
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:29,301
Ever heard of a fuck buddy?
577
00:31:36,741 --> 00:31:37,900
Is anyone home?
578
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,021
[indistinct TV chatter]
579
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,581
[Meena laughing]
580
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:45,821
-[video game playing]
-[Stan] Yeah, got it!
581
00:31:47,180 --> 00:31:48,660
What's going on in there, then?
582
00:31:48,741 --> 00:31:50,980
It's just a stew, you know. [giggling]
583
00:31:52,420 --> 00:31:53,700
[Meena] Come on, Chesney.
584
00:31:53,781 --> 00:31:54,940
Good day at school, Ches?
585
00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:57,101
Yes, good.
586
00:31:58,740 --> 00:31:59,660
Brilliant.
587
00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:01,141
-[bell rings]
-[Chesney] Yes!
588
00:32:01,740 --> 00:32:02,581
[exhales]
589
00:32:03,381 --> 00:32:05,541
-Didn't think you had it in you.
-Piece of piss.
590
00:32:10,781 --> 00:32:13,621
[dance music playing]
591
00:32:27,141 --> 00:32:28,141
[snorts]
592
00:32:54,420 --> 00:32:56,541
[Debbie] Right. One...
593
00:32:56,621 --> 00:32:58,821
-[Maxine] Two... [laughter]
-[Debbie] Three, go!
594
00:33:14,821 --> 00:33:17,700
Prowling grease monkeys at three o'clock.
595
00:33:17,781 --> 00:33:20,021
Eugh! He's old enough to be my dad.
596
00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:25,460
He just took his wedding ring off!
597
00:33:25,541 --> 00:33:27,501
[Debbie] Oh, the slimeball.
598
00:33:27,581 --> 00:33:29,980
-No harm in getting a drink out of it.
-Aw!
599
00:33:34,501 --> 00:33:35,781
[Kelly laughing]
600
00:33:39,501 --> 00:33:40,700
[indistinct conversation]
601
00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:57,541
[indistinct conversation]
602
00:34:02,781 --> 00:34:05,541
[groans] Read him the riot act, didn't I?
603
00:34:05,621 --> 00:34:09,300
He'll forgive a flash of tit
if it means that we're back on track.
604
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,180
And are you?
605
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:14,421
-What?
-Back on track.
606
00:34:14,501 --> 00:34:16,220
Sort of.
607
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:17,981
[sniffs]
608
00:34:18,061 --> 00:34:20,101
Do you always do that?
609
00:34:20,180 --> 00:34:24,180
-What?
-Pout.
610
00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:26,581
-No.
-[chuckling]
611
00:34:26,660 --> 00:34:29,061
-Do you know what?
-What?
612
00:34:30,941 --> 00:34:34,340
I think you're dead fit.
613
00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:46,941
-[laughter]
-Fuck off!
614
00:34:47,021 --> 00:34:48,541
[indistinct conversation]
615
00:34:55,941 --> 00:34:57,941
[indistinct tv chatter]
616
00:34:58,021 --> 00:35:01,901
-She's been following me round.
-That's not good.
617
00:35:01,981 --> 00:35:03,820
Nightmare.
618
00:35:03,901 --> 00:35:05,741
She's round every corner.
619
00:35:07,101 --> 00:35:10,661
I think I was clingy
with my first big split.
620
00:35:10,741 --> 00:35:13,661
Something a bit pathetic
about all that, though.
621
00:35:13,741 --> 00:35:15,621
Don't you think?
622
00:35:18,181 --> 00:35:20,941
I thought you were really good today.
623
00:35:25,221 --> 00:35:26,820
[dance music playing]
624
00:36:03,061 --> 00:36:04,340
[Maxine shouts]
625
00:36:04,421 --> 00:36:07,061
[Debbie] Leg it! Drive! Quick! Go, go, go!
626
00:36:07,141 --> 00:36:08,581
She's got me fucking wallet!
627
00:36:10,621 --> 00:36:12,701
-Slags!
-Oh, fuck it!
628
00:36:22,101 --> 00:36:24,021
[laughter]
629
00:36:29,701 --> 00:36:30,541
Freak!
630
00:36:38,221 --> 00:36:40,701
All right! It should've been a woman.
631
00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:42,820
Ha! Can someone tape this?
632
00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:45,981
-Here, say it again.
-It doesn't matter now.
633
00:36:46,061 --> 00:36:49,501
-It's history.
-Yeah. It were a top night in the end.
634
00:36:49,581 --> 00:36:50,820
Does that mean I get an apology?
635
00:36:50,901 --> 00:36:52,981
-Oh! This I will have to film!
-[chuckling]
636
00:36:53,061 --> 00:36:56,421
I am the first to apologise
when I've done something wrong.
637
00:36:56,501 --> 00:36:59,221
[laughing out loud] Did you get that?
638
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,380
-Leave it, Shane.
-"Leave it, Jamie," don't you mean?
639
00:37:06,340 --> 00:37:07,581
Mandy?
640
00:37:09,340 --> 00:37:10,820
Listen, I'm gonna take her home.
641
00:37:11,421 --> 00:37:14,181
-[all] Oh!
-No! Just take her home.
642
00:37:14,261 --> 00:37:16,261
[laughter]
643
00:37:22,981 --> 00:37:24,421
I'm off to bed.
644
00:37:25,340 --> 00:37:26,221
What, so early?
645
00:37:27,061 --> 00:37:30,380
-I'm knackered. You coming?
-In a bit.
646
00:37:34,941 --> 00:37:35,981
[sniffing]
647
00:37:40,820 --> 00:37:42,141
[laughing]
648
00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:45,340
Tequila?
649
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:47,421
-Yeah!
-[both laughing]
650
00:37:48,541 --> 00:37:50,541
[Kelly laughing]
651
00:37:54,901 --> 00:37:56,780
[Kelly] Shh! In here!
652
00:38:02,421 --> 00:38:04,261
[Norma] What the...? Oh!
653
00:38:08,101 --> 00:38:09,021
Norma?
654
00:38:10,981 --> 00:38:14,101
Poor little mite will be in limbo forever
if I don't do something.
655
00:38:14,181 --> 00:38:15,141
What?
656
00:38:15,701 --> 00:38:16,581
Dead.
657
00:38:17,541 --> 00:38:18,501
All alone.
658
00:38:18,581 --> 00:38:21,941
My God! Stop being so fucking morbid!
What's the matter?
659
00:38:23,421 --> 00:38:24,261
A little baby.
660
00:38:24,981 --> 00:38:26,141
Someone's baby.
661
00:38:26,701 --> 00:38:28,621
It's not a baby. It's a fucking cat!
662
00:38:29,581 --> 00:38:30,421
[Norma] No.
663
00:38:30,501 --> 00:38:33,541
[Shane] Straight up, Norma.
Look, the ribcage is flat on both sides.
664
00:38:33,621 --> 00:38:36,380
The limbs are the wrong proportion.
It's a fuckin' moggy is that.
665
00:38:36,461 --> 00:38:39,421
[Kelly grunts] He's amazing, isn't he?
666
00:38:42,541 --> 00:38:44,380
[both laughing]
667
00:38:55,941 --> 00:38:57,661
-[Kelly] Shane!
-[Karen] Shh!
668
00:39:02,701 --> 00:39:05,661
[both chuckling]
669
00:39:10,981 --> 00:39:13,380
-Sorry, I can't.
-Yeah, you can.
670
00:39:13,461 --> 00:39:17,021
-I'm married.
-Yeah. To a moron.
671
00:39:18,021 --> 00:39:20,340
-What?
-Sorry, but--
672
00:39:20,421 --> 00:39:22,461
Get the fuck out of me pub!
673
00:39:23,901 --> 00:39:25,181
-What?
-Now!
674
00:39:33,141 --> 00:39:34,901
[Micky] I don't think I'll be coming
to class anymore.
675
00:39:36,941 --> 00:39:39,860
-[woman] Oh, no. Why not?
-It's not really my thing.
676
00:39:42,141 --> 00:39:45,380
I think you found your "thing" tonight,
though, don't you?
677
00:39:45,461 --> 00:39:46,741
Well, we're all good at something.
678
00:39:46,820 --> 00:39:50,461
It just takes some of us a little longer
to suss out what it is.
679
00:39:53,661 --> 00:39:54,860
Exactly.
680
00:39:54,941 --> 00:39:59,621
You could give my place
to someone what really needs it.
681
00:39:59,701 --> 00:40:00,941
Yeah, I could, really.
682
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,741
Beer?
683
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:08,380
[inhales] Yeah, go on, then.
684
00:40:08,461 --> 00:40:10,421
One for the road.
685
00:40:10,501 --> 00:40:12,141
You twisted me arm.
686
00:40:43,021 --> 00:40:44,380
Sorry for being a cow.
687
00:40:49,581 --> 00:40:50,701
I'm sorry, too.
688
00:41:05,261 --> 00:41:06,181
[Jamie moans]
689
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:28,780
Nothing happened.
690
00:41:30,380 --> 00:41:32,541
-Good job.
-I'm a gent, you know.
691
00:41:34,061 --> 00:41:36,621
Be a right shame if we had,
and I couldn't even remember.
692
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:46,221
Brew?
693
00:42:16,661 --> 00:42:17,541
What?
694
00:42:18,701 --> 00:42:19,541
Good night?
695
00:42:20,581 --> 00:42:21,461
Yeah.
696
00:42:23,820 --> 00:42:25,181
What are you playing at, Carl?
697
00:42:31,061 --> 00:42:31,981
Did you cop?
698
00:42:33,981 --> 00:42:36,300
Listen, Carl, we're mates, aren't we?
699
00:42:36,380 --> 00:42:39,101
"Mates"? With a bird? What about--?
700
00:42:39,181 --> 00:42:43,141
So we shagged! You were great.
But you're not me fella!
701
00:42:43,221 --> 00:42:46,141
So, don't go all moody-bollocks
just cos I got off me tits,
702
00:42:46,221 --> 00:42:48,340
and had a laugh without you,
because you can't.
703
00:42:50,701 --> 00:42:53,300
We might as well be mates, though,
if we like each other, don't you think?
704
00:42:55,021 --> 00:42:55,941
Suppose so.
705
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:01,061
There might be the odd night...
706
00:43:01,141 --> 00:43:04,741
if you're lonely... and I'm lonely.
707
00:43:05,701 --> 00:43:08,021
You made me squeal.
708
00:43:08,101 --> 00:43:10,701
I'd be a fool not to.
709
00:43:10,780 --> 00:43:12,340
When you put it like that...
710
00:43:14,941 --> 00:43:18,581
Right. Any chance of a shag, then?
711
00:43:25,261 --> 00:43:26,501
[slurps]
712
00:43:39,221 --> 00:43:41,181
[Karen screams and laughs]
713
00:43:43,701 --> 00:43:45,141
-[Jamie] Whoa!
-[Karen screams]
714
00:43:45,860 --> 00:43:49,300
[Micky] Maybe, after all,
I am into all that bullshit.
715
00:43:49,380 --> 00:43:51,860
Just another way of looking at things.
716
00:43:51,941 --> 00:43:57,380
Things happen for a reason.
The best things come to those who wait.
717
00:43:57,461 --> 00:44:00,820
Sounds so fake, though, dunnit?
718
00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,661
-"'Check out the girth on that', she said,
-[slapping]
719
00:44:03,741 --> 00:44:06,501
as he put the big black stallion
back in its stable.
720
00:44:06,581 --> 00:44:07,380
[whinnies]
721
00:44:07,461 --> 00:44:11,820
She tossed back her glorious mane of hair,
and opened the top two buttons.
722
00:44:11,900 --> 00:44:15,061
'I'm hot, baby,' she said.
723
00:44:15,141 --> 00:44:18,101
As he caught a glimpse
of the top of her huge tits...
724
00:44:18,181 --> 00:44:20,141
[Micky]
I'll tell you what my philosophy is.
725
00:44:20,221 --> 00:44:22,780
You're born. Then you die.
726
00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:25,701
In between,
you might as well do whatever it takes
727
00:44:25,780 --> 00:44:28,461
to get as much of a buzz as you can.
Dead simple.
728
00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:30,541
[teacher] So, if you look at all three...
729
00:44:35,701 --> 00:44:37,101
[all] Whoo!
730
00:44:37,181 --> 00:44:38,181
[snoring]
731
00:44:39,541 --> 00:44:41,061
Fuck!
732
00:44:45,061 --> 00:44:48,900
[Stan] You are a very lucky man.
And eligible for the jury service.
733
00:44:48,981 --> 00:44:50,581
-All right, Frank?
-All right, Dessie.
734
00:44:50,661 --> 00:44:52,941
And all those who think
the defendant's not guilty?
735
00:44:53,021 --> 00:44:54,340
-What you up to?
-It's a free country.
736
00:44:54,421 --> 00:44:55,501
[screaming]
737
00:44:56,261 --> 00:44:57,661
There's no way out!
738
00:44:57,741 --> 00:44:59,101
[screams]
739
00:44:59,181 --> 00:45:00,340
[slam]
740
00:45:00,421 --> 00:45:01,541
I'm concentrating on my writing.
741
00:45:01,621 --> 00:45:03,421
-What kind of stories?
-Erotica.
742
00:45:03,501 --> 00:45:04,421
[spews]
743
00:45:04,501 --> 00:45:09,541
"And plunged his throbbing member
deep and hard, into the grateful copper."
744
00:45:09,621 --> 00:45:10,860
[screams and moans]
745
00:45:52,061 --> 00:45:53,900
That's fucking brilliant, bud.
746
00:45:55,340 --> 00:45:57,261
Get on, Micky! Your turn.
747
00:45:57,340 --> 00:45:58,820
-[whinnies]
-[slapping]
748
00:46:02,340 --> 00:46:03,860
[slapping]
749
00:46:03,941 --> 00:46:05,701
Yeah!
750
00:46:06,340 --> 00:46:07,741
Whoo!
82726
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