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1
00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:07,110
Hold it! Hold it!
2
00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:11,030
Jeez.
3
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,970
Could you make some room, please?
4
00:00:13,290 --> 00:00:17,050
Is it possible to cram any more people
in here? I'm sure we're over the weight
5
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,049
limit, sir.
6
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:19,430
God help us. Are you through?
7
00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:20,990
No, not yet.
8
00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:25,550
Um, ma 'am, did you put on enough Estee
Lauder this morning? Not only can I
9
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:26,950
smell your perfume, I can see it.
10
00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:29,790
Could you push 12, please? The exercise
would do you good.
11
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:33,170
Someone press that button. She's sucking
out all the oxygen.
12
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,600
I know that voice.
13
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:37,860
Hey, lady.
14
00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:40,840
Lady, will you watch it? That's an
umbrella, not a thermometer.
15
00:00:42,780 --> 00:00:44,160
Hey. Jerry?
16
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:47,140
Jerry, go as I live and breathe. Hey,
Brown.
17
00:00:47,540 --> 00:00:48,720
What's it been, like six years?
18
00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:51,940
Oh, God. So how's Germany been treating
you? Well, nothing could be sweeter than
19
00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:54,800
to be a Jew in Germany. I've got the
number one dog show. I'm driving a
20
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400
with a personal license plate that reads
Juden 1.
21
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:03,540
Wow. Who digs? Well, it's about time.
22
00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:06,010
Oh, we like them. Our own little window
on the world.
23
00:01:06,230 --> 00:01:07,230
Yeah.
24
00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:09,750
Hey, Jerry, it's great to see you. How
come you're in Washington?
25
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:14,150
Oh, a little business, and as mouth
-watering as German food is, I'm
26
00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:16,210
homesick for one of Phil's big, greasy
cheeseburgers.
27
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,190
Want to join me? I'm still a big eater.
I have an expense account now.
28
00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:22,170
Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you,
but Phil's no longer takes Deutschmarks.
29
00:01:22,390 --> 00:01:24,330
That's okay. I'll put it all on my
master race card.
30
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:26,370
Oh, sure.
31
00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:28,790
Jerry Gold.
32
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:29,850
Jerry Gold.
33
00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:31,210
Jerry Gold.
34
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:32,630
Oh, I missed you, too.
35
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,260
So, what's new in your life? Still
married, or did your husband decide he
36
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:37,380
some intellectual stimulation?
37
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,180
Why are you here, anyway?
38
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,140
Who's watching Gates of Hell?
39
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:44,300
Hey, guys, look who came to visit.
40
00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:46,400
Long time, Fontana.
41
00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:48,380
Hey, Terry.
42
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:51,400
Still the weakest grip I have ever felt.
43
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,600
I guess you never got around to using
that little squeezy thing I gave you,
44
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:58,480
And dial, you big old wax figure, you.
Give me a hug.
45
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,020
Jerry.
46
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,140
Now, you see, this is a grip. Oh, oh.
47
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,180
So what can I do to town? Well, I'm
just, you know, catching up with some
48
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:08,919
friends. So I guess it's going to be a
short visit, huh?
49
00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:12,540
Well, don't be surprised if when you
return to Germany, the wall is back up
50
00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:13,880
higher and electrified.
51
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,300
All right, I'm done.
52
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:18,840
Well, Dial, let me guess what is new in
your life, huh?
53
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:20,220
Nada, am I right?
54
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:23,160
For your information, Buster, plenty has
changed in my life.
55
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,100
For one, Doris and I are separate.
56
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,820
Really? So she came out of her coma?
57
00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:31,140
Boy, this is great, isn't it? Just like
old times.
58
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:36,440
What about you, Fontana? How's life for
you? Well, for your information, I am
59
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,900
dating a beautiful woman named
Elizabeth, and we're very happy. Thank
60
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,040
Really? Well, put her there.
61
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,020
Nice to meet you, Elizabeth.
62
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:45,460
Okay,
63
00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:52,700
enough of these fond
64
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:55,460
reminiscences. Come on, Gold, I want to
show you my new office. Good morning,
65
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,600
all.
66
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:57,740
Well, hello. Hello there.
67
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:02,960
Okay, this is Jerry Gold. I know who he
is. Jerry Gold, I love your talk show. I
68
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,560
get it on my dish at 4 a .m.
69
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:08,820
I'm Kay Carter Shepley, executive
producer of FYI. Nice to meet you, Kay.
70
00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:10,620
Even you have a better grip than
Fontana.
71
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,540
Okay,
72
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,000
so there's a sexual history, am I right?
73
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,620
Sexual but fraught with deep political
differences.
74
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,980
He's a jerk, if that's what you mean.
What Murphy's on that TV shock jock,
75
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:27,980
never understand.
76
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,020
Well, I think he could be really good
for Murphy.
77
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,540
What exactly don't you like about him?
78
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:35,160
Where do I start?
79
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,280
The rudeness. The self -absorption. The
uncanny ability to just walk into a room
80
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,280
and take it over.
81
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,020
Are we talking about Murphy or Jerry?
82
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,940
As far as I can see, they're perfect for
each other.
83
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:50,980
I can't believe you walked back into her
life now. She's at her most vulnerable.
84
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:55,070
Hey. I don't have anything on my
schedule, so Jerry and I are going to
85
00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:56,250
hockey. I'll see you guys tomorrow.
86
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:59,510
Listen, it was great seeing you again,
wasn't it?
87
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:01,990
See ya.
88
00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,630
Wow, Brown, I love what you did with the
place.
89
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:13,550
I haven't done anything. It's the way it
always was.
90
00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:14,850
Really?
91
00:04:14,970 --> 00:04:16,250
Is that fireplace always there?
92
00:04:16,769 --> 00:04:18,149
Yeah, ever since 1847.
93
00:04:18,709 --> 00:04:19,970
Well, you're doing a good job with it.
94
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,130
Oh, and...
95
00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:23,810
Here's that sweet little girl of yours.
96
00:04:24,210 --> 00:04:25,210
It's a boy, Jer.
97
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:27,970
Well, good, because she's looking a
little butch.
98
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:33,990
So, tell me, Brown, how are you doing?
99
00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:38,090
I have good days, and I have not -so
-good days. But today's a good day.
100
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:40,270
you look good. Really? Yeah.
101
00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:42,750
Really? Yeah, you look beautiful.
102
00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:44,570
Even with this thing on my head?
103
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:48,490
I like it. And do me a favor. Save that
wig hat, because by the time your hair
104
00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:49,550
grows out, mine will be gone.
105
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,840
And I've often wondered what I'd look
like as a frosted blonde.
106
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,980
I'll tell you who you'd look like. Nancy
Sinatra.
107
00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,800
Really? Well, thanks.
108
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:06,300
So, did you... Did you think you were
going to die?
109
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,080
Well, it crossed my mind.
110
00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:11,010
I mean, to tell you the truth, it still
does.
111
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:13,910
Usually after I've walked down a 7
-Eleven hot dog.
112
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:18,490
You know, I've got to get you over to
Germany. There's this little place off
113
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,790
Autobahn in Baden -Baden or some kraut
name like that.
114
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:26,050
They make the world's greatest hot dogs.
I mean, you would love them. You bite
115
00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,910
them to them and they snap. They're so
delicious. You get a pint of beer.
116
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,750
You know, it just doesn't get any
better.
117
00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:34,470
You don't get any better, Jerry. It's so
good to see you.
118
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:36,550
Did it hurt?
119
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:38,370
What? You know, when you had your
operation.
120
00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:42,070
Yeah, it hurt, but it doesn't hurt now.
121
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,690
I hate to think of anything hurting you.
122
00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:47,050
Did it leave a scar?
123
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,170
Just a little one. You'd barely notice.
124
00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:55,170
It's just a teeny scar, is what it is.
It's just teeny tiny.
125
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:56,770
Do you want to see? No, no, that's okay.
126
00:05:58,710 --> 00:06:02,070
Really, it's okay. In the last few
months, I've been opening my shirt for
127
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,410
doctor, nurse, technician, and once for
a guy who turned out to be a well
128
00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:06,830
-dressed pharmaceutical salesman.
129
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,780
He was the most complimentary.
130
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,880
Plus, I got a ballpoint pen that says
Prozac.
131
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,620
Well, you know, I don't know if I want
to see a scar that you're showing to
132
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,160
everybody. I always thought I was
special.
133
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,580
No, you'll see. It's nothing.
134
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:21,620
Okay, I'll take a look. Just a peek.
135
00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:31,900
I don't know if the wig enhanced the
experience for me, but it
136
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:32,900
certainly didn't hurt.
137
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:35,960
I had a lovely time.
138
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,520
What the hell are you doing?
139
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:39,980
I'm having a smoke.
140
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,160
Come on, Murphy. You know, the bedroom
after sex.
141
00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:45,640
There's got to be one place you haven't
declared smoke -free.
142
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,720
That's right. You're European now. So
have you stopped seeing a dentist, too?
143
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,380
Why are you holding your cigarette like
that?
144
00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:56,559
Like what?
145
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,580
Like you're in a foxhole with Sergeant
Schultz.
146
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,460
All right, all right. I'll put it out.
147
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,880
Is, uh, potpourri flammable?
148
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:06,889
Oh, no.
149
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:08,410
It's just dry twigs. Go ahead.
150
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:15,130
Jerry,
151
00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:19,030
there's just something I want to say,
you know, just so there's no
152
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:20,210
misunderstanding. Yeah?
153
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,990
This was really nice, you know.
154
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:29,610
Well, it was great, in fact. I just
don't want you to get the impression
155
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:34,710
this is going to become some long -term
serious relationship because, you know,
156
00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:35,730
it's not who I am.
157
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,100
No, no, I feel exactly the same way. Oh.
158
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:40,539
Oh, great.
159
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:41,800
So we're on the same page.
160
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,420
Absolutely.
161
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:47,980
Besides,
162
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:50,540
I'm getting married this weekend.
163
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,800
Oh, come on. Come on, Brown. No, no.
Brown, please.
164
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,120
I've got to hand it to you, Gold. This
sure beats the hell out of those
165
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,340
impersonal wedding announcements you get
in the mail.
166
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,580
Now, look, I was going to tell you right
after I touched your breast.
167
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,680
Let's just dissect that sentence and see
if we can't find that hidden flaw in
168
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,560
logic. Oh, come on. Oh, no.
169
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,960
Look, you said yourself that you didn't
want a serious relationship.
170
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:22,400
Come on, it's always been this way with
us. You know, we're friends.
171
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:26,980
Friends who, you know, every once in a
while... Every once in a while what? Get
172
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:28,420
together and share a hoagie?
173
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:32,950
regional food reference, but yes.
174
00:08:33,309 --> 00:08:36,549
Now, look, look, this is not why I came
here.
175
00:08:37,169 --> 00:08:39,549
I mean, this just sort of happened.
176
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,990
I came here to ask you if you'd be my
best man.
177
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,270
Best man?
178
00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:51,550
You sleep with me and ask me to be your
best man?
179
00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:54,210
Well, if you sleep with the flower girl,
you go to jail.
180
00:08:56,590 --> 00:09:00,870
Look, there is no one in the world
closer to me than you.
181
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:05,230
And you know how much I care for you. I
mean, what do you think that whole seven
182
00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:06,290
minutes was about up there?
183
00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:10,130
Six and a half of that was me.
184
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:17,050
Look, please, Murphy, will you stand
next to me at the altar?
185
00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:18,570
Please.
186
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:23,110
Well, tell me about the lucky gal, Jer.
187
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:25,210
Clearly she's not a smart woman.
188
00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:28,190
Oh, I can't wait till you meet Elka.
189
00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:29,410
Elka?
190
00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:30,630
She's German.
191
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,820
Don't look at me like that. Her parents
are farmers.
192
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,180
So we're at the little far line now,
waiting patiently on the Rhine, carving
193
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:38,180
cuckoo clock?
194
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,580
No, she's at Bloomingdale's being fitted
for a wedding gown.
195
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:42,880
She's here?
196
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:44,420
She's here?
197
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:48,560
Bloomingdale's? Well, you and I... We're
sharing hoagies.
198
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,000
Do you have any idea how wrong that is?
199
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,900
We are having sex and your wife -to -be
is across town buying a wedding dress?
200
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:59,420
How many commandments do you think we
broke up there in those seven minutes?
201
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,440
Why not just worship a golden cow? All
right, all right, all right.
202
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,660
Listen, I didn't plan this.
203
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,760
It just happened like spontaneous
combustion.
204
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,280
I mean, we're like a firework shack in
the middle of July, and it's hot.
205
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,640
And it's raining gasoline?
206
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,520
Yeah, like that.
207
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:18,840
Oh, come on, Brown.
208
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,340
Please, will you be my best man?
209
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:23,840
Well,
210
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,700
what can I say?
211
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:31,260
Traditionally, it's the best man's job
to get the groom laid. And doggone if I
212
00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:32,720
haven't come through with one card.
213
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,200
Frank, I'll be in editing if anyone
needs me. Oh, too bad. You're going to
214
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,500
Elizabeth. I'm taking her out to lunch.
215
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:42,720
She's coming here?
216
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:44,260
Oh, then editing can wait.
217
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,060
I'm going to stick around and finally
meet her. Oh, great. You know, because
218
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:50,060
Elizabeth is just unbelievably special.
Don't go anywhere. I'm just going to
219
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:51,900
slap on a little aftershave for
Elizabeth. I'll be right back.
220
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,180
Brown, I'm going to pay you back for the
tuxes. I'm good for it. Yeah, so much
221
00:10:58,180 --> 00:11:00,100
for your Bank of Dresden credit card.
222
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:04,060
You know, I've seen them cut people's
credit cards in half before, but I've
223
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,920
never actually seen them set one on
fire.
224
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,720
Jerry!
225
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,360
Congratulations!
226
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,780
I hear you're getting married, and not
to Murphy.
227
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,960
You're not even marrying a United States
citizen.
228
00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:17,420
Yep, it's a great day for the red,
white, and blue.
229
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,900
Look, everyone, it's Stonehenge!
230
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:25,890
Murphy, I'm going to use your phone and
call a florist.
231
00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:31,710
Jim, Jerry has low blood sugar. I hope
it keeps dropping.
232
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:36,030
Don't you guys go anywhere. Frank's
Elizabeth is coming.
233
00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:39,670
Oh, yes. Oh, after all this time, you
mean we're finally going to meet the
234
00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:40,670
elusive Elizabeth?
235
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:43,670
Murphy, look.
236
00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:45,010
It's Elizabeth.
237
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,290
She's gorgeous.
238
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:50,310
Boy, I've got to hand it to Frank for a
guy who spent so much time trying to
239
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,070
find the perfect woman. It just goes to
show good things do happen to good
240
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:55,980
people. Excuse me, I'm looking for Jerry
Gold.
241
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,580
I'm his fiancée.
242
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:58,820
And sometimes they don't.
243
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,200
Elka? Yeah?
244
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:06,540
Oh, Elka, it's very nice to meet you.
I'm a friend of Jerry's, Murphy Brown.
245
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,400
Yeah, Murphy. Jerry told me all about
you.
246
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Oh. Let me introduce Corky Sherwood and
Jim Dial. Hello.
247
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,940
Yes, it's nice to meet you. Best of
luck. Really.
248
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,580
I guess you're probably here to see
Jerry, so I'll just go get him. No, no,
249
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:25,280
I want to get to know you. We can talk.
250
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,520
Jerry, Elk is here.
251
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,400
It's a little awkward, yeah?
252
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,080
Awkward? No, no. I mean, you're the
bride. I'm the best man. There's no
253
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,080
to be awkward.
254
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,360
Murphy, I know about you and Jerry.
255
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:41,619
You do?
256
00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:43,320
Yeah, I know that you slept together.
257
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,900
Well, you're right. It's awkward. Jerry!
258
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:54,190
And I think it was no big deal.
259
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:58,710
Yeah. Well, it was no big deal. It was
years ago.
260
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:03,910
In fact, I think it went Adam and Eve,
me and Jerry, and then the Crusades.
261
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,630
You know,
262
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,590
Brown, this is two -thirds of a great
fantasy.
263
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,150
He is so vulgar, isn't he?
264
00:13:14,370 --> 00:13:15,370
Oh, yeah.
265
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:19,650
Hey, Frank and I are heading out to
Chinatown. We're going to eat until we
266
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:20,710
sweat. Any papers?
267
00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:23,210
Jerry, you're back to visit Murphy.
268
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:24,550
Isn't that great?
269
00:13:24,790 --> 00:13:26,630
Funny how they're drawn to each other.
270
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:31,470
You and Murphy should come along with
us. Okay. This is Elka, Jerry's fiancée.
271
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:33,630
Fiancée?
272
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:35,730
Well, that just jams the crapper.
273
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,170
Congratulations.
274
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:42,570
Thank you.
275
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,550
All right, who's eating? Let's go.
276
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:51,220
waiting for your girl. Oh, well, she can
make it. Something about a cracked
277
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:52,220
filling.
278
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,320
What? Frank, are we ever gonna meet this
girl? Wait a minute, wait a minute,
279
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,140
wait a minute. A cracked filling? Now,
that is a new one, Fontana.
280
00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:02,620
It used to be when your dates didn't
show up, they were just overinflated.
281
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,760
Now, you know, I would like you to meet
my, in the flesh, real fiancé.
282
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:09,820
Really? Hello.
283
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:11,540
Hello.
284
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:12,980
You know, uh...
285
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:17,990
Mono to mono, Fontana, the thing that I
absolutely love about Elke is that after
286
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:20,130
sex, she just rolls over and goes right
to sleep.
287
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:22,450
She doesn't even want to be held.
288
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,030
I hate you.
289
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,630
You know, Kay, Elke's from Germany.
290
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:31,609
Oh, yeah?
291
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:32,610
Yeah. Uh -huh.
292
00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:35,230
Best to be held in the air, Augen auf
der Spitze.
293
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,130
Then he's been high for a long time.
294
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,070
Oh, so sagen Sie.
295
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:41,130
Brücken Sie dort vor.
296
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,590
Oh, yeah, yeah.
297
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,490
Is that Jerry Deutsch?
298
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:46,230
Nein.
299
00:14:46,870 --> 00:14:47,870
Wunderbar.
300
00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,230
Speak English. Speak English. Come on,
Elke. We've got to meet that minister.
301
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:56,210
Goodbye, everyone. I will see you in the
church. And the wedding is Saturday.
302
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:59,550
Fontana, my best man, will fill you in.
I want everyone there at one o 'clock.
303
00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:00,830
Hey, can I bring Elizabeth?
304
00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:03,090
Oh, sure. You bring Elizabeth. I'll
bring the Pope.
305
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,610
Murphy?
306
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:15,450
Well, how did you let this one get away?
Get away? I barely escaped.
307
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,650
Oh, come on. I see the way you look at
one another.
308
00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:21,290
Does it bother you that they're getting
married?
309
00:15:21,910 --> 00:15:24,810
Kate, believe me, Jerry Gold is not the
one that got away.
310
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:27,170
So there's nothing between you guys?
311
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:28,830
We're just old friends.
312
00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:32,390
Oh, well, then that certainly explains
why he came all the way to Washington to
313
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,530
see you before he got married.
314
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:36,670
I'm sure he had his reasons, and I
really think you're reaching.
315
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:37,970
Huh.
316
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:40,890
Because I would have bet that you two
ended up in bed yesterday.
317
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:42,800
My mistake.
318
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:45,540
One last chance.
319
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,800
Do you want to tell me the truth, or do
you just want me to know it?
320
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,240
Mom.
321
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,360
Good Lord, Frank, what happened to you?
322
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:06,740
I don't know, Jim. Could it be that it's
raining outside and this FYI
323
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:11,090
umbrella... That K got us all for
Christmas just happened to break after
324
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,110
seconds. It was a parasol.
325
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:14,790
It's not meant for the rain.
326
00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:20,770
Oh, gee, you know, what a great
Christmas gift. I mean, you know, what
327
00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:22,050
can have too many parasols?
328
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,370
Where's Elizabeth, Frank?
329
00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:31,030
Oh, well, she can't make it. But you
know what? She's cooking me a big, big
330
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:32,230
lasagna dinner tonight.
331
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,170
It's going to be great.
332
00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:35,790
Is that right, Frank?
333
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:40,180
Mm -hmm. Yeah, because you know why? I
love garlic, and she loves garlic.
334
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,520
And the two of us are just going to be
at home. We're going to light a little
335
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,460
fire, open a bottle of Chianti. Frank,
stop it.
336
00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:49,520
We all know there's no Elizabeth.
337
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,440
And we know how hard it is for a single
man in his 50s to admit that there's no
338
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,440
Elizabeth in his life.
339
00:16:56,620 --> 00:17:00,680
Wait a second, Corky. You saw Elizabeth
at that marathon that we both ran in.
340
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,550
You pointed in the general direction of
a hundred women, Frank.
341
00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:07,589
Look at this. Look at my neck. Look at
this. I love bite. Look at this here.
342
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:08,529
Right here. Hickey.
343
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:13,109
It starts with pinching yourself on the
neck and then it ends with you doing one
344
00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:14,109
of these in the doorway.
345
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:21,589
You know, when I was a kid, I used to
always get nosebleeds whenever it
346
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:23,530
Why? Because it was so cold out?
347
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:27,270
Yeah, that. And when it's cold out, the
other kids are less receptive to
348
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:28,270
criticism.
349
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:31,140
What's the matter, Brown?
350
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,600
Stupid tie. I can't get it straight.
351
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:34,820
Here, here, here.
352
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,760
That's easy. There you go.
353
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,700
So, are you nervous?
354
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,140
Nervous? Are you?
355
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,879
Oh, great.
356
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,260
Lightning. Now, that has got to be a bad
sign.
357
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,940
Let's just cut this whole thing off.
What is going on with you? Oh, nothing.
358
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,680
You're having second thoughts, aren't
you?
359
00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:57,280
Me, having second thoughts? Hell, I
barely have first thoughts.
360
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:01,080
You came back to Washington, isn't it?
You wanted me to tell you to call this
361
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,080
whole thing off.
362
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:03,260
You are so wrong.
363
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,800
Oh, yeah? Well, then why didn't you get
married in Germany? Why'd you come all
364
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:06,619
the way back here?
365
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:10,820
Look, I can get married wherever I...
You know, I'll tell you what's really
366
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:11,820
going on here, Brown.
367
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:14,780
You are having a problem with me getting
married.
368
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,920
Me? Believe me, no one wants to see you
get married more than I do.
369
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,520
Okay. Then it's showtime.
370
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:21,720
Yeah, showtime.
371
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,520
Look, that's okay. We don't need lights.
Right. We don't need lights. We don't
372
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,960
need music. Come on, Alka. Let's go.
Schnell, Schnell.
373
00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:46,580
Everybody. Here comes the bride.
374
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:48,900
Da, da, da.
375
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,200
Da, da, da.
376
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,220
All right, Father.
377
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,480
Take it away.
378
00:18:56,020 --> 00:19:00,760
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to join this man and this woman in
379
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:01,760
holy matrimony.
380
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:06,120
If there is anyone who feels that they
should not be wed, let them speak now or
381
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,120
forever hold their peace.
382
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:13,530
All quiet on the Western Front, Father.
383
00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:15,510
Thanks for the help.
384
00:19:17,810 --> 00:19:18,910
Elke Hasengut, sir?
385
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:22,330
Do you take this man to be your lawfully
wedded husband?
386
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:24,070
Yeah.
387
00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:28,050
And do you, Jerry Gold, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
388
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,150
Oh, Maya.
389
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,150
I'm getting a nosebleed. What?
390
00:19:33,770 --> 00:19:35,110
Oh, it's a great party, huh?
391
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,550
Come on, Brown. I want you to help me
here.
392
00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:41,250
A nosebleed?
393
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,110
What's the matter, gold chickening out?
394
00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:47,050
Yeah. Oh, don't give me that. You know,
you act like you're so... Look, I told
395
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:48,050
you. You were right.
396
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:54,190
Oh, Brown, I don't know if I should be
doing this.
397
00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:57,750
Are you nuts? You're in the middle of a
wedding. I know. Your wedding. I know, I
398
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:58,750
know. It just hit me.
399
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:02,330
After I say I do, we lose each other,
you and me.
400
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:03,890
Yeah.
401
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,650
You know, we had a pretty good thing.
402
00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:09,370
It was easy, comfortable, it was safe.
403
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:10,670
Yeah.
404
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,800
Safe.
405
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:14,420
But you know, Jared, there's no such
thing as safe.
406
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,160
Even if you're standing still, there's
no such thing.
407
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,760
What I went through the last six months
taught me that. It also taught me
408
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:25,180
there's no such thing as standing still.
So if you love her, you've got to do
409
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,179
this.
410
00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:28,520
The question is, do you love her?
411
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,020
I don't know.
412
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,560
What is love anyway?
413
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,400
Is it feeling?
414
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,840
Comfortable enough to be making love and
then stop to hear who's leaving you a
415
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,980
message on the answering machine?
416
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:46,220
Or that she still wants you after she's
seen you naked in broad daylight?
417
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,460
Or that you buy her flowers just because
it's Tuesday?
418
00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:53,380
I think so.
419
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:58,000
Well, then I love her.
420
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,280
But this is so crazy. I mean, here we
are, the two of us, at a church.
421
00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:05,230
And it's not our wedding.
422
00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:08,050
Yeah, but you know what would happen?
423
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,950
Two weeks after we'd tie the knot, one
of us would be carrying the other's body
424
00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:13,630
parts in a bag down to the freezer.
425
00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:20,050
I love you.
426
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,570
I love you, too.
427
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:25,870
Your zipper's down.
428
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:29,750
So is yours.
32582
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