All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s06e24 My Movie With Louis

Frank, you don't know what you're
talking about. I'm telling you, Julia

was giving me the eye.

She was sitting in her chair, she looked
over her shoulder, and she gave me the

eye. You were yelling, hey, pretty
woman, over here. Trust me, Frank, she

giving you something, but it wasn't the
eye.

You saw Julia Roberts?

Mm -hmm, and Armand Vasanti. They were
filming outside the Supreme Court. She

gave me the eye. Oh, wonderful.

Another invasion from Tinseltown. Every
time it's the same thing.

A gaggle of ponytail Hollywood types
walks into town, block off traffic for

hours, and then run off to have orgies
in their trailers.

Isn't it exciting?

Come on, Jim. This isn't your typical
Hollywood trash. This is a political

thriller being filmed by Louis Mao.

I mean, his stuff is always so
intelligent and...

and protective and subtle. I could just
get five minutes with the guy. No,

Frank, don't tell me you want a cameo in
this thing, too.

I heard that Wolf Blitzer hand
-delivered a dozen roses, Ted Koppel

producers a magnum of champagne, and
Connie Chung did everything but show up

a catwoman outfit.

He's right.

Reputable journalists stumbling over one
another so they can play themselves in

a movie. I tell you, it tarnishes all of
us.

It blurs the line between journalism and
entertainment.

If we keep this up, soon we'll have
Peter Jennings behind the wheel of a

car and the Fresh Prince of Bel -Air
reporting live from the Mideast.

On the other hand, sometimes it can be a
really good thing.

When? Oh, well, sure, Jim. You can pick
apart any argument with those old debate

-themed tactics of yours.

They offered you a part in this movie,
didn't they?

Maybe. Oh, you lucky!

You're not going to do it, are you?
Well, I'd be lying if I told you I

tempted, but clearly there are some
strong arguments against it. I can't

the time. It could damage my
credibility, and it raises some valid

questions.

Yep. You're going to have to mull this
one over.

She's going to do it. Oh, gee, Frank,
you think of course I'm going to do it.

Hey, Frank, you've got the veggie
burgers, porky, you've got the tuna and

yam, tuna and rye.

Bill, there's no ketchup.

So what do you say, Frank?

You want me to go down 17th floor, go
across the street, grab some ketchup,

back across the street, come back up
17th floor just so you can have some

ketchup? Is that what you're saying,
Frank?

No, I'm just saying, hey, look, no
ketchup.

Well, as they say in Hollywood, that's a
wrap. The deal is closed. I can't hear

you on the carport. I'm going through a
canyon.

They didn't happen to ask about my
availability or anything, did they?

didn't come up. But listen to this.
According to the producers, I have a

but pivotal role.

In fact, they said I'm a plot point. I'm
not sure what that means, but I think

it means they can't cut me out of the
movie.

Why don't you believe it?

The producers of All the President's Men
told me that if I let him shoot in

films, I can hand Redford his coat in a
seat.

Oh, yeah, that was a good deal.

Lost a whole week's worth of business
for the privilege of seeing my left

finger on the silver screen.

You met Robert Redford? What was he
like?

Like being in the presence of an angel.

You should hear yourself.

It's nothing but movie this and movie
that.

As if any of this even matters.

Look at all the hoopla attached to those
Oscars. It's only been two months, and

I'll bet not one of you can even
remember what won Best Picture.

Schindler's List.

Best Actor.

Holly Hunter.

Best Short Subject.

Live Action or Animated.

Time for you to get married again.

Hey there, Miles.

Hey there, Phil.

Hello, people, and greetings from our...
Affiliates in New England. You should

have seen me. I pressed the flesh at six
stations, swung by the L .L. Bean

factory, got myself some chinos, and
still had time to pick up four jugs of

maple syrup for the best news team in
the business.

Oh, God.

Oh, forget your gooey pants, Miles.

Murphy's got some pretty exciting news
to tell you.

I'm going to be in a Louis Mal film next
week.

Really? I'm starring in the next
Spielberg movie.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Beth
Shalom.

Starring in it, I have a small but
pivotal role.

You're serious? You really think you're
going to be in this movie? I'm not going

to just be in it. I'm a plot point.

No, you're not. The network won't let
you. They have a policy.

What policy?

They instituted it last year.

News people may not appear in
entertainment telecasts or movies. I

the network wants to maintain the image
of its journalists, but I'm not about to

do something that would damage my
reputation.

I'm a mature, responsible adult capable
of deciding what's appropriate for

Murphy Brown. And I expect, no, I demand
to be treated that way.

Well, that is a pretty persuasive
argument.

Yeah. Just add the phrase, give me back
that bottle, and it's the same speech he

was screaming in the lobby right before
they carted her off to Betty Ford.

You know,

you really didn't have to come with me.
If I can handle heads of state, I think

I can handle the head of a network.
Strength in numbers, Murph. And besides,

this is a battle I'm probably going to
have to fight one day myself.

Yeah.

Probably. Hi, Mrs. O 'Brien. We're here
for our 5 o 'clock with Mr. Lansing.

You're late.

Oh, no, we're not.

You're late and your watch is broken.

Take a seat.

Mrs. O 'Brien, I'm pretty sure this is a
no -smoking building.

Uh -huh.

And, well,

you're smoking.

As am I, sweetie.

I've been secretary to every president
of this network for the past 40 years.

Now, if you think I'm going to go sit in
that utility closet they call a smoking

lounge every time I want to drag, you're
nuts.

Hey, I don't give a... Oh, we'll just
take a seat.

Murph, if you want to get in to see God,
it's probably not a good idea to tick

off St. Peter.

That little gnome. Bet that's not even
her own hair.

Here you go.

It doesn't matter where you sit.

I can hear you.

And you can tell the parents of those
Tolan twins that if their identical

butts are not back on the set by noon,
I'm going to get two jockeys to replace

them.

I'll buy me two jockeys and get them the
same haircut.

Murphy, how are you? Come right in. Come
right in. Thanks for seeing us, Stan.

We won't take up much of your time. Oh,
I owe you. I always have time to see

you, Murphy. And Frank, I've been
meaning to tell you. You know that piece

did when you rode with the cops on the
drug bust?

Unbelievable.

Nobody does life -threatening stuff like
you do.

I'm telling you, you're on the top of
your game.

Oh, thanks.

I wish I could say the same thing about
my golf game.

Tell me about it. I'm still trying to
break 90 these days. Well, you do what I

do. You just quit after 14 holes.

How's that lovely wife of yours, Jean?

We're divorced, Fontana.

She took me for everything I owned.

My mother died last year. You want to
ask me about her, too?

Murph? Well, yes, Stan. The reason we're
here is that I was offered a role, a

small but pivotal role, in Louis Mal's
new film, and to make a long story

I said yes.

I gather you were not aware of our new
policy.

Exactly. So you see, what an awkward
position this puts me in. I've agreed to

the movie. Say no more. I completely
understand the situation. I knew you

Stanley. Just blame me for the whole
thing. And you'll just have to

that network policy is network policy.

What? Frank, have one of those
shortcuts.

They're Belgian.

Okay. Sure.

It's going to melt right in your mouth.

You know, Stan, when I said awkward
position, what I meant was that I...

one. Who said two?

Nobody raised by wolves.

Don't put it back. Nobody wants used
chocolate.

Eat the bread. Eat the whole thing. He
just ate your chocolate.

Anyway, Murphy, if that solves your
problem, let's get on to another crisis.

Well, actually, Stan, it doesn't.

I want to do this movie.

Oh, I see.

Well, if I could make an exception, I'd
do it for you, but policy is policy.

The policy stinks.

I'm sorry you feel that way, but we need
the policy in order to maintain network

integrity.

Excuse me? The same network that put on
He's Not My Monkey is suddenly going to

maintain its integrity?

Well, what are you saying? That we're
not doing art here? What does this lose

me?

We got a single mother with three kids
at 8 o 'clock. I got a single father

three kids at 8 .30.

I got a black single mother with two
kids at 9 o 'clock. I got a stand -up

that nobody ever heard of with no kids
at 9 .30. And over here, we got the crap

slot.

Nothing works here.

But we're fighting for our lives to beat
the other guy's crap slot.

But the news division is a totally
different story.

It's our prized asset.

And I'll do everything that I can do to
protect it. And I applaud that.

But I think I'm capable of deciding what
material is appropriate for me. So

forgive me if I have trouble complying
with some blanket, arbitrary policy that

treats me like a child.

What the hell are you doing, Fontana?
Get away from that.

That's not fair.

Really? Maybe if I were to put this one
right over here. No, no, no. Get away

from me.

Stay over there.

Give me back 8 .30, 9 .30, 10 .30.

Murphy, I hate to put it to you in these
terms, but when you signed your

contract, you agreed to abide by the
policies of this network.

Well, Stan, I hate to put it to you in
these terms, but what if I just ignore

the policy and do the movie anyway?

I would be very disappointed.

I think I could live with that.

And I would dock you two weeks' pay.

Well, then you better call accounting.

Let's go, Frank.

Wow, she's a pretty tough cookie.

I guess that's the kind of moxie we pay
all the big bucks for.

Yeah.

Well, uh, you know, I couldn't live with
myself unless I spoke up about this

policy, too.

I'm with Murph. I think I think.

We don't pay you for your moxie,
Fontana. Get out of here.

And close the door. What were you, born
in a barn?

And he docks me two weeks' pay? You
know, Frank, it starts like this.

Policy restricting our personal
freedoms, and the next thing you know,

calling each other comrade and launching
Sputnik. You know,

why do they even bother putting paint
stripper on the patio door? I could just

point you in that direction and let you
shriek for five minutes.

Here, this came for you. I bet it's the
script.

Ooh, look.

Deadline. Get it? It's a murder mystery
and it involves news people.

Deadline. Clever, huh?

Look, it came with a hat. Oh, cool. Can
I have that?

Is the name Frank Fontana on this
package? Is the name Frank Fontana on

package? What's the story of this stupid
movie, anyway?

Oh, it's great. Armand Asante plays a
cop who tries to solve the death of a

senator, and Julia Roberts is a
biochemical engineer who helps him trace

murderer through his DNA.

We're supposed to buy Julia Roberts as a
biochemical engineer?

Yeah. Apparently she wears glasses.

Not me.

Not me.

Not me.

Oh. Baby, I get grilled by Armando
Sante.

I was the last person to interview the
dead guy.

Hey, Frank, read through my scene with
me. All right, but I get to be Armando

Sante. Sure. Ellen?

What? Come here. I need you to play his
partner.

Get out of here. Why not?

What? I'm not going to act.

It's embarrassing.

Oh, come on. Nobody's watching. I'll
give you 50 bucks.

Let me see it. I'll write you a check.
Just do it. Start, Frank.

Yellow me's brow.

It is a pleasure meeting George.

What are you doing?

I'm reading the part.

You're supposed to be playing Armando
Sante, not Ricky Ricardo.

I'm not playing Armando Sante. I saw
Mambo Kings. That's how he talks. He was

playing a Cuban in Mambo Kings. That's
not how he normally talks. Just do it in

a regular voice, but sexier, and act
more with your eyes.

Okay, fine. I'll do it the boring way.

Hello, Ms. Brown.

It's a pleasure meeting you.

I'm Detective Murdoch, and this is my
partner, Detective Wong.

Go easy on him. It's his last day before
retirement. Oh, great. I'm going to

die.

Whenever it's their last day, they die.

They won't act in the first place, and
I'm going to die.

Kelvin, you're ruining my concentration.

Now, Ms. Brown, you were the last person
to see the senator alive.

Do you remember any details that could
help with our investigation?

Well, it was a pretty standard
interview. I asked him questions. He

answering them. Ooh, that's good. I
would say something like that.

Did he seem at all agitated?

He kept fidgeting with it. I think it
had some kind of orange rubber top on

Dulles Airport locker. I am on it. Give
me the car keys.

There it is. The car explodes.

Two lousy lines of bam.

People are wiping me off their
eyeglasses.

I hate accidents.

Just go on, Frank.

Well, Ms. Brown, I guess it's true what
they say about you.

You're as observant as you are
beautiful.

Wow, this is really good writing.

Yeah, brilliant.

Say, you know what would really help me
out here? If I could take a look at your

notes from the interview.

No problem. I'll go get them. Oh, yeah,
right. Like I'd really give up my notes.

It's good writing, and it's funny, too.
Well, I don't think it's a joke, Murr.

Well, sure it is. I'd never give up my
notes. No self -respecting journalist

would. Well, apparently you would,
because right here, the next page, you

them your notes.

I don't believe this.

I actually hand my notes over to a cop.
It's totally unreal.

You know, this is the problem with
Hollywood today, Frank. They don't care

being real.

That's why people stop going to those
Billy Jack movies, you know.

After a while, they just stop being
real.

You know, Murph, this may not be as big
a problem as you think.

You know, maybe you're right, Frank.
Maybe it's not that big a problem.

Maybe sacrificing my journalistic
integrity in front of millions of people

good thing.

What's your idea?

Can I have the hat?

What's your idea? Oh, you just go to
Louis now. You tell him you have a

with the script.

Give me back the hat. No, I didn't even
know that there's something inaccurate

in there.

Oh, maybe you're right.

Maybe it's worth a shot because I sure
can't do this stuff the way it's written

now.

I could.

Did I say that out loud?

You know, we weren't expecting you until
Friday.

Oh, I know. I just came by to talk to
Mr. Mal. They asked me to wait over

Okay. Well, he's right in the middle of
setting up a shot and we're running a

little behind schedule.

But I'll make sure he knows that you're
waiting.

Hi. Murphy Brown.

I'm in the movie. Small but pivotal
role.

Terrible. We've wasted the whole
morning.

How come nobody told you that Senator D
'Amato was such a dead fish?

Excuse me, Mr. Mal.

Oh, Murphy Brown, hi.

I'm delighted you'll be working with us.
Thanks for dropping by.

We'll see you Friday, okay?

Yes, you will, but I just wondered if we
could discuss the script. I have some

questions. Uh -huh, script questions.

And you say you've never acted before.

Just petite things, really, but I'm sure
you want to be as accurate as possible.

Of course.

Well, here on page 78, you refer to my
managing editor when what I think you

mean is my executive producer.

Uh -huh.

And FYI, the new show I'm on, we don't
pre -tape. We go out live.

I'm embarrassed we got it wrong.

Consider it fixed.

Thank you. See you Friday. Actually,
there's just one more thing.

I would never give my notes to a
detective.

Uh -huh.

But you understand he must have the
notes.

Well, yes, but it's just not something a
good journalist would do. It would

compromise my integrity.

Oh, we certainly don't want to do that.

But you see my problem. What is Armand
going to say?

She won't give me her notes.

I can't solve the murder.

Maybe I'll just go home.

Or a very short movie with little chance
of a sequel.

No, I see that that wouldn't work, but
maybe there's another way he could get

the notes.

Maybe he could get a subpoena. No, that
would take too much time.

Maybe he could break into the newsroom
at night. No, he's a cop. He wouldn't do

that.

Boy, this is tricky, but I know we can
get it if we just put on our thinking

caps. Louie, they're ready for you.

They'll be there in a minute.

Now we have our thinking caps on.

No breaking in, no subpoena.

What if he sleeps with you, then goes
for your notes before you wake up?

Hmm.

We can do that. That would mean firing
Julia Roberts.

And we've already paid her a lot of
money.

Well, now you're kidding me.

Although, I have to say, when you cast
Julia Roberts, isn't she just a little

bit young for him? I mean, I realize I'm
talking to the man who directed Pretty

Baby, but... Since you seem to have so
many problems with the movie...

You know what? Why don't I take a look
at the script, noodle around with it,

see what I can come up with? Is there a
trailer I could use?

You want to rewrite the script?

Could you do it quickly?

Because then I may need you to help me
set up my next shot.

Well, now you're being sarcastic. Louie,
the lights are pretty hot and Armand is

wearing a wool suit.

I'm beginning to think this may not work
out. You know, I'm just trying to give

you a little friendly criticism.

Believe me, when the reviewers do it,
they may not be so kind. And I am a bit

a film buff.

Are you familiar with the Billy Jack
movies?

Billy Jack!

She's talking to me about Billy Jack.

Sit for me, sign me.

Get off the mail, dude.

I think you can understand French well
enough to know what you just said, and I

don't appreciate it. You know what the
problem is? You don't understand the

American culture. Not to mention there
are subtle shadings in our language that

you clearly don't comprehend.

How's this for shadings? Your history.

Vamoose. Happy trails to you.

You're firing me?

Bingo.

Call Diane Sawyer. Ask her if she'll
reconsider.

You know, I'm glad this happened
because, I admit it, I was being vain. I

blinded by the glitter and the glamour.
But this has opened my eyes.

Journalists should never cross that line
into entertainment.

Thank God I still have my integrity.

Why are you still talking?

I'm going, but part of me will always be
here reminding you of the truth you

chose to ignore.

I pity the man who lives with her.

Murphy, hi.

Oh, Dan, hi. Look, if you came to talk
me out of being in this stupid movie,

can save your breath. I'm not doing it.
Well, actually, I... They're ready for

you on set.

What? You're in the movie?

Hey, I have no on -air integrity to
protect.

Besides, how can I pass up a chance to
play poker in a scene with Armand

I get to shuffle, go over and out cuts.

They need me.

Louie, motor me!

Sorry, detective, but I got three aces.

Cut!

A little more excited, please.

It's three aces. That's a good thing.

Poker scene, take 16.

Ha, ha, ha!

Sorry, detective, but I got two aces.
Cut! I know, three aces, I made a

Gore distracted me.

Poker scene, take 17.

Sorry, detective, but I got three...
Cut! Cut! Why is someone walking behind

that window?

I'm going, I'm going.