All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s06e05 The Young & the Rest of Us

Look, Frank, I'm not saying Peter isn't
arrogant and brash and hard to get along

with, but the fact is our audience
really responds to him and he tested

with the focus groups. Let me see that.
Look at those results.

They're interested in his choice of
stories, they admire his gutsy style of

reporting, and a surprising number of
them want to see him with his shirt off.

Oh, sure.

But how does he test with the men?

Frank, those are the men.

Oh, God.

Miles, what... is the meaning of this
memo. The network is taking 20 seconds

my commentary so they can promote
another funny home video special.

I say if you weigh 300 pounds, you have
no business riding your dog in the first

place.

Jim, I know this guy reports from
Lebanon, Iraq, South Africa. Now, what

have in common?

They are all places you can get a great
suntan. That's what these people are

responding to. You send him off to
Alaska to one of my pipeline stories,

take off his shirt so he wants to look
at it. Frank, I just dropped this. You

see the latest issue of TV Guide? It's
got that article on the women of

primetime news you suggested I do. It's
a nice picture, huh? Look, there's

Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, Connie
Chong, Leslie Stahl.

Oh, oh, wait a minute. Who is that
peeking out from behind Maria Shriver's

It's me.

This isn't a publicity shot. It's a
where's Waldo.

Stop it! Stop it right now!

Jim, I don't have your 20 seconds.
Murphy, I didn't take the picture. And

this obsession with another man's chest
is starting to affect your work.

Well, here it is. Another show night.
Aren't we the luckiest people in the

to be doing something we love with
people we care about?

Corky, can I see you?

You're so sweet.

You're the best. Every single one of
you.

John, Doug, Brian, Leonard, other Doug,
Steve, Mitch, Kieran, Kenny,

other John.

I can't believe Corky didn't mention her
birthday was tomorrow.

I can't believe that guy's name is
Kenny.

He gave me the Heimlich five years ago.
I've been calling him George ever since.

She could have had the decency to drop a
hint. Everybody drops hints. Well,

maybe it's not that big a deal to her.
She's two years younger than I am. That

means she's turning 30. Tell me that's
not a big deal. Okay, at the next

commercial, we'll give her a cupcake.

We can't just give her a cupcake. The
crew gave her a cupcake. We make a lot

more money than they do. We should get
her a whole cake.

And some ice cream.

Neapolitan is always a popular choice.
40 seconds, people.

We should throw her a party. That's what
we should do. Oh, how do you know she

even wants a party? Maybe she's
comfortable about turning 30. I know, I

even remember my 30th birthday.

Well, of course not. You were smashed
out of your mind.

Okay, but that wasn't because it was my
birthday. Back then, I'd celebrate 430.

The point is, just because you people
are all morbidly fixated on birthdays

doesn't mean she... Heads up. Going live
in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Good evening and welcome to FYI. For
your information tonight, Murphy Brown

reports on the 203rd session of the
Supreme Court, Frank Fontana goes

exposing fraudulent health care clinics,
and Peter Hunt is on assignment in

Columbia. First, some say the American
educational system is a foundering ship.

Tonight, Corky Sherwood introduces us to
three young Americans who are sailing a

different schooner. Corky?

Thank you, Jim.

Tonight, we're proud to have with us
this year's recipients of the National

Association of Teachers Award for
America's Best and Brightest.

Sanjay Kandwala, Suzy Ahn, and Kwan
Chang.

Your families must be just thrilled
about your achievement. Now, I

that you're all high school seniors.

How old would that make you exactly?

17.

17.

That is such a special age.

I myself was 17 when I was chosen to
represent Louisiana in the Junior Miss

pageant. It was the fulfillment of a
young girl's dream.

So what kind of dreams do you have,
Susie?

I'd like to study the burgeoning field
of recombinant genetics, specifically

it relates to the pathology of
neurological disease.

That's nice, too.

It's just so hard to sit here with all
of you and not...

Think about how few years there are
between 17 and, oh, 29 or 30.

12 or 13 years, Mr. Wood.

Thank you, Quan.

You're just a human calculator, aren't
you?

So, looking down the road, what would
each of you like to be doing when those

or 13 years have passed?

I would like to go to medicine.

All doctors.

Isn't that cute?

I would like to follow in my father's
footsteps and be the second Kondwala to

win a Nobel Prize.

A Nobel Prize!

Well, that would be a very special and
wonderful achievement, Sanjay.

But what about after you win the Nobel
Prize?

What then?

You have a Nobel Prize, and you're 30.

Do you think that will make you happy?

I'm not sure.

What about you, Juan?

Susie, will you be happy?

I don't know. I haven't quite thought
this through, have you?

Well, it looks like maybe you're going
to have to do a little more homework

before you're ready for the real world.

Hmm?

Can't hear you, Kwan.

Okay, maybe she does need a party.

I just want to help people.

Okay, so that's three dozen crab.

of pastries and 25 servings of lemon
duck on arugula?

Great. All right, so we're going to need
that at 1 o 'clock.

Today? Well, okay, if that's pushing it,
we can make it 1 .30.

Hello?

They call themselves professional
caterers. It's no wonder our small

are failing.

What in heaven's name did we get in this
position?

Isn't there someone around here who
keeps track of birthdays?

Yeah, Corky.

pull this together and do it ourselves.
We've had parties without caterers

before. Yeah, but Corky's always thrown
them. I miss Corky. Frank, is this

supposed to be helping?

I think I know what Frank's feeling.

Corky's always been there for us.

Happy, funny little Corky.

Here's our chance to repay her. A simple
acknowledgement of the day she sprang

to life. And we blew it.

We don't deserve Corky.

I'm in the canoe and I'm paddling by
myself.

Look, I'm due at the Senate in half an
hour. hour. Frank's got an 11 o 'clock

with Ralph Nader. So can we please just
focus on showering Corky with love and

attention as quickly as possible so we
can all get on with our lives?

Well, I've always thought colorful
decorations were the key to a festive

atmosphere. That and Neapolitan ice
cream.

Jim shoots, Jim scores. I'll handle the
decorations.

Wendy, can you fly down to the
drugstore, pick up some streamers,

know, your basic happy birthday
assortment.

Okay, decorations are done. Was that so
difficult?

A cake? A cake, right. I was going to
get to that.

What, too much cologne?

Hey, it's Peter, everybody.

Peter's back from Colombia. Isn't it
good to see him? Welcome back. You're

tracking mud.

I missed you guys, too.

I brought you a little souvenir from the
Medellin airport.

My Spanish isn't what it used to be, but
I think it's either a dried apricot or

a human ear.

Neat, huh?

Thank you, Peter.

How did everything go south of the 23rd
parallel?

Oh, it was a little dysentery, a few
minor snake bites, a strip search at

gunpoint, when you can get a one -on
-one with Major Paolo Panero.

You got footage of Panero?

I don't believe it.

Columbia's most notorious drug lord,
exclusively on FYI. Way to bring it

Peter! Yeah, well, you know what they
say.

You gotta crack the toughest rinds to
savor the sweetest fruit.

Oh, how true.

Nice tan.

It's amazing, isn't it?

12 hours ago, I was sitting in mud
drinking coffee out of a rusty tin can.

Now I'm drinking Swiss mocha amaretto
out of a Snoopy mug.

How can you people live like this?

Here you go, Petey.

Anything to make you feel more
comfortable.

North American mud, just not the same.

Look, I didn't mean to imply that you
people live a dull life around here. You

seen me working on something pretty
intense when I walked in. Why don't you

bring me up to speed?

What's the topic?

Cake?

Cake?

Yeah, too hot for me. I'm going back to
Columbia.

Yes, yes.

But have your laugh. But the fact is,
it's Corky's birthday and we're throwing

small celebration because that's the
sort of people we are. We care about

other. And we're having Neapolitan ice
cream.

Okay, I'm in. What?

I like Corky. I get a kick out of her.
And I'm a part of FYI, so I'm in. Well,

how about that, everybody?

Peter wants... Wilson, isn't that nice?
Let's let him in.

She's our Corky. Frank, we're letting
him in.

Fine, fine, you're in. But since we know
Corky a little better than you do, I

think you should just stand back and
observe.

Now, where were we?

Cake.

Right. What kind does Corky like?

Chocolate. Oh, chocolate.

Wow, you guys are close.

All right, we'll get back to it. Any
thoughts on a gift? Something pastel.

Pink. Look at all the pink stuff she has
in her office.

It's like the inside of a bottle of
Pepto -Bismol.

I've read something with animals. She
does seem fond of animals.

Okay. Something pink with an animal
motif that she can wear.

That should practically jump off the
shelf.

What are you doing from noon to one? Oh,
let me guess. Dragging Ralph Nader

through Neiman Marcus.

All right, Miles. You take Corky to
editing and then bring her down here at

Okay, but I'll need some kind of a
signal.

I know, I know. I'll cough three times
when we're in the hallway.

Three staccato coughs.

Great. I'll call Phil and... Wait a
minute, wait a minute. You weren't

listening, were you?

We're in the hallway. We're in the
hallway.

We scream surprise, Corky squeals with
delight, and his whole nightmare is

Now that has to be it. Going once. And
what about the cake? Oh, jeez.

Carrot. Excuse me?

Corky likes carrot cake. Well, how did
you know that?

I'm a reporter. I notice things.

I've seen her order carrot cake three
times at lunch. Same way I've noticed

order jello and pudding on alternate
days. Miles asks for his sandwiches with

lettuce. Frank says he shouldn't order
fries and does, and Murphy just steals

off of everybody else's plate.

See ya.

Lucky get.

Look at this.

Who would have thought a Halloween sale
could provide such a lively decor?

And what a stroke of luck that all three
drugstores Wendy went to were out of

Happy Birthday in English.

Having it in Spanish adds that
international flavor.

I would say festive is the word that's
more to the point.

Who are we kidding?

This party's going to be about as
festive as an evening with Dr.

The man of the hour arrived.

I tell you, Murphy, I did the best I
could.

But next time you've got to give me a
little more warning. I'm a chef, not a

magician. But you made it, Phil. We can
always count on you. In keeping with

Corky's Louisiana roots, the burgers are
black and Cajun style.

They just look burnt to me.

Okay, Murphy, they're burnt.

You tried cooking 20 extra burgers
during the lunch hour. For crying out

my place is so crowded it looks like a
Clinton half -brother reunion.

Hey, Phil.

Aren't you going to stay for the party?

No, Frank.

I'm jetting to the Riviera.

It's lunchtime.

Nobody understands the restaurant
business.

I was all over town and ready to give up
when I struck gold. I didn't even have

a chance to have it wrapped.

What do you think?

It's pink.

It's something she can wear. And it has
this feathery part which looks like it

came from an animal.

Even flame retardant Nader liked that.

Here, feel it.

You hate it, don't you? Well, why'd you
send me for this in the first place? You

know, it's not like I am known as a
shrewd shopper.

The minute you asked me to go, I knew
this present was going to be a bust, and

was going to be the one to take the
blame for it. Look, next time, you just

somebody else, okay?

Who decorated this place? Sylvia Plath?

So this is the party, huh?

And I chipped in 40 bucks.

You don't mind if I see the receipts, do
you?

Okay, the party stinks.

We all know it stinks. We're busy
people. We did the best we could. And it

stinks. Thank you, Frank.

But can we all at least get the hide
-and -yell surprise thing right instead

Corky walking into the world's most
depressing, pathetic surprise?

Did no one hear me coughing? My throat
is raw from coughing.

Now, Corky, I know what you're thinking.
This looks like one lame excuse for a

birthday party, and it is. But I can
explain. You see...

Oh, no, she's crying. Oh, Corky, don't
do that.

Corky, I know this seems like a bad
party, but we've all seen worse.

Why, there was that one where Trunkite
walked through a plate glass door.

At least you don't have lacerations
about your head and neck. That's

to be happy about.

No, it's not the party.

The whole thing is beautiful.

You're the best friends I could ever
hope for.

Was Frank in charge of the gift?

me. It's almost like they wanted me to
fail.

It's lovely.

Probably just the kind of thing a
woman's supposed to wear when she's 30.

Oh, hey.

Hey, Corky.

I know turning 30 is a tough one.

Suddenly you're not the wonder kid
anymore.

You look around and people even younger
than you are nipping at your heels,

right?

No, that's not it.

alone, right? And you figure if you're
alone at 30, you might just be alone for

the rest of your life.

No, that's not it either.

Is it perhaps that you realize that
you're one year closer to death?

No, but thanks, Jim.

Then what the hell is it? You've got
fame, money, glamour, professional

recognition. What's the...

The rest of you can't understand.

You were smart.

You waited to be famous until you were
old.

Corky, if it'll make you feel any
better, I tasted success at a pretty

age, and I had some of the same fears
you do.

But then look at all I've experienced
since then.

You became an alcoholic.

You had to dry out at Betty Ford.

You had an illegitimate child.

It's why I don't help people.

All right, all right. Coming through.
May I, please?

Court.

Court.

You can't remember the last time
something took your breath away, can

No. You stopped feeling that rush you
felt the first time you filed a story.

Or took an overseas assignment.

Or made it over the wall of a foreign
prison.

Uh, let's change that last one to, uh,
what?

to a Scientology meeting to get an
interview with Tom Cruise.

Close enough.

And you felt that rush of adrenaline,
didn't you?

Didn't you?

But now life is just one big seen it,
done it, lived it. Am I right?

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Then there's only one thing left to do.

Jim, you're tied.

What? Come on, we're wasting time. Let's
go.

Oh, well, all right. But now, you just
be careful with this.

It was a gift from Miles.

Yes, well, it's very nice.

Thanks. I picked it out.

Of course. Why didn't I think of that?
There's nothing like a nice game of pin

the tail on the donkey to yank her out
of the spirit.

Come on, Corky. I'm going to show you
how to really celebrate your birthday.

Where are we going?

You're just going to have to trust me on
this.

We're having cake and ice cream.

Corky, this is insane. He blindfolded
me.

explanation and you're just going to go
off with him?

I guess.

San Salvador.

One minute I'm sleeping off some bad
tequila and the next we're being strafed

anti -aircraft fire.

Before I know it, somebody's slapping a
parachute on my back, shoving me out the

hatch and yelling at me to count to ten
and pull the cord.

That afternoon I came this close to
dying.

you had no idea you'd be 10 ,000 feet up
staring eternity in the face with a guy

you barely know.

But that's why I brought you up here. To
realize that life's great pleasure is

never knowing what's around that next
curve.

20 seconds to jump run.

South Ferry, last stop.

or seen her since she was here with you.

Courtney!

He's crippled her!

What's the foot? What's the foot? What
did you do to her?

Frank, it wasn't his fault.

I didn't follow instructions.

I kept telling her to relax and bend her
knees, but she was all pent up.

And with all my weight on top of her,
uh...

You're a dead man.

diving. I landed wrong, compressing my
spine, spraining the transverse ligament

in my ankle, and having, without a
doubt, the best birthday of my life!

It was good for me, too.

You mean skydiving? And it was
wonderful!

Peter knew exactly what I needed,
because on his 30th birthday, he was on

routine assignment when his plane was
strafed by anti -aircraft fire, and he

to parachute out!

Because of Peter, I will always remember
that life... is never knowing what's

around that next curve.

And an ankle is a delicate balance of
tendons and ligaments.

I am so grateful.

Really, really grateful.

All right.

Don't worry, Corky.

He is not going to hurt you anymore.

Has anyone ever told you that you have
tremendous upper body strength?

Not that I'm complaining.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I guess I'm still a little bit
lightheaded.

I don't know whether it's the
painkillers or the fact that my life has

deeply and profoundly changed forever.

Come on, Corky. What you need is to just
get off your feet and have a nice cup

of tea.

Chamomile. Oh, chamomile. My favorite.

I knew that.

Well, what do you know?

The guy with all the answers actually
had the answer.

Well, what can I say? If there's one
thing I know, it's how to take a woman

screaming to new heights.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't brag about it
until you can do it without a pilot, a

control tower, and an air -sick bag.

One other thing.

Corky is a vulnerable and trusting human
being. None of us would take kindly to

someone who might try to take advantage
of that.

I hear you, Sheriff.

Wrapped by anti -aircraft fire?

Too much?

I wasn't sure when I threw that in, but
it seemed to do the trick.

I knew it. So what did you really do on
your 30th birthday? Have a few beers

with your buddies? A pizza with a candle
on it? Actually, I spent the day bound

and gagged in the trunk of a Volkswagen
in Beirut while my captors argued over

which of my fingers to include in the
ransom note.

Well, at least you've saved something
for Corky's 40th.

The new season's here.

It starts with a B. Well, all right.

Along with the Pinto Beats.

Tuesday.

It's half, half, nine. Maybe my Pinto
Beats. Pinto Beats.