All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s04e08 It Came From College

Shooting down straightaways, dodging and
weaving through tons of roaring metal,

my racing instructor taught me a lot
about courage and coolness.

in the rearview mirror while driving 140
miles an hour.

Thank you, Corky, for some amazing
footage.

And I'm sure our viewers will understand
you meant no disrespect by invoking the

name of the Lord so often and with such
vehemence.

We'll be back after these messages.

And we're into commercial.

Okay,

people, listen up.

Does this look familiar?

Oh, no.

That's right. It's the sign -up board.

Now, as you all know... for the next ten
days I'll be entertaining the young

daughter of an old college friend of
mine. Now, I've asked all of you very

politely to commit two hours of your
time to help me take care of this fine

young girl.

As of nine o 'clock tonight, I have had
the following people sign up.

Manuel Noriega, Cher, and the Emperor
Charlemagne, who I happen to know is out

of town.

Now, Veronica's plane arrives in one
hour, and I want to know what you all

intend to do about that.

Corky, what about you? You said Will's
locking himself up to work on the last

chapter of his book. What are you going
to do with all that free time?

I'll probably spend a lot of it in
physical therapy.

Good. She can drive you.

Absolutely not. Coming back in ten
seconds. I don't understand teenage

I don't want to.

They have holes in their clothing and
they travel in packs through shopping

malls.

Giggling at the most inane things.

like a person who shoots.

What's so damn foolish about a perfectly
good pair of oxblood wing tips?

Thank you for joining us. This has been
another edition of FYI.

And we're out. Good show, people.

John, hey, where are you going? You're
great with kids. I need you.

See, Murphy, what's that, Bob?

A fruit bat got into the control room
and it's caught in your hair.

My God, how many times does this have to
happen before something's done?

I'll be right there.

Come on, Frank.

You owe me big. Remember last Friday
when you stepped in front of my car in

parking garage and I swerved to miss
you?

I wasn't even in town last Friday. Well,
then it was someone else. The point is,

a life was saved and I should be
rewarded.

God is this pathetic.

You see what happens when a Gentile
tries to use guilt?

It just doesn't work. You're either born
with a natural ability or you're not.

Okay, Miles, I guess you're right.

It's just that I feel so bad for the
kid.

She's an idealistic young journalism
student, traveling all this way, hoping

just get a glimpse of her heroes.

Well, I guess she'll get over it
someday.

Gentile, Gentile, Gentile.

It's funny, Murph. If some of you are
going to be having a kid of their own in

seven months, you're working awfully
hard to try to palm this one all upon

everybody else. What's the matter? Are
you getting a little nervous about

motherhood?

Don't be ridiculous, Frank. I'm not
nervous.

I'm going to be a great mother with my
own kid.

But I haven't seen Veronica since she
was two.

What the hell am I supposed to do with
her for ten days?

I promise I'll try to make it as
painless as possible.

Hi, Murphy.

Everybody.

Veronica?

What are you doing? Your plane wasn't
supposed to land for another hour.

I was so psyched about coming, I talked
to a guy who was waiting for an earlier

flight into playing five -card draw for
his ticket.

Not bad, kid. Not bad at all.

Everybody, this is Veronica, although
her mother calls her Ronnie.

Nope, I dropped Ronnie back when Reagan
was elected. Now I go by Mika, as in

Nicaragua, in support of the workers'
struggle in Managua.

A social conscience. I like that.

God, this is incredible.

You guys probably hear this a lot, but
FYI is without a doubt the strongest

team in the business.

My journalism class studied your
retrospective of the fall of the Soviet

That was definitely one of the finest
hours of television news ever done.

God,

having a child on your own, that is such
a huge commitment.

But then from the stories mom tells
about your college days, you've never

afraid to tackle anything.

You know, you're practically a legend in
our house. A legend?

Oh, come on. Abby Hoffman was a legend.
Jerry Rubin was a legend. I was, at

most, a legendette.

How can you say that?

You are one of the most courageous and
committed journalists in the world.

Hey, I'm just a reporter doing my job.

You want to see where a bullet grazed me
in Afghanistan?

That's incredible.

I would give anything to have a life
like yours.

But if Mom has anything to say about it,
that'll never happen. Everything has to

be by the rules.

Take an umbrella. It might rain. Don't
walk on the grass.

You know, she actually slows down for
yellow lights. Well, mothers can be like

that. Mine was no different.

Stand up straight. Keep your elbows off
the table.

Don't drink the Chivas. It's mine.

I don't think it's these things. Anyway,
is there some sort of mother's

newsletter they send around to each
other? Yeah, mom's cliche, monthly.

Things to say when you're losing.

I don't have to have a reason. I'm your
mother.

Right, right. And how about, you have
such a pretty face. Why do you hide it

under all that hair?

Oh, that's a good one. But this is my
favorite. As long as you're living under

my roof, you'll live by my rules, young
lady.

Oh. That is the killer. Young lady. I'm
fine with young. I'm fine with lady. But

you put those two together and boom,
bad. I swear I will never use those two

words with my daughter.

That's why I think you're going to be
the coolest mom who ever lived.

You're progressive.

You believe in basic freedoms.

Have you got an ashtray around?

A what?

An ashtray.

Oh. You smoke?

Yeah. You wouldn't believe the flack I
get from Mom.

Oh, well, she's probably just trying to
protect you from things you may not be

aware of, like... You know, lung cancer.

But what she doesn't understand is that
I'm an adult and I should be allowed to

make my own decisions, right?

So have you gotten that straight?

Gee, I think I got rid of them when I
quit.

Right after I started hacking up that
black tar -like substance.

Besides, with the baby, I really
shouldn't be around smoke.

Oh, sure, no problem.

I'll just stand over by the window.

This is going to be such a cool visit.

Getting to see how a great TV news show
works.

Getting to hang out with you. I'm
already having a great time. Good, good.

Ah, the smoke's still blowing in a
little bit. Would you mind going all the

out? It's a little chilly out there.
Well, you've come a long way. Maybe a

more feet won't kill you.

You just can't wait to see what the rest
of your day is going to be like.

Oh, come on, Murphy. This is Public
Enemy, the greatest group in the world.

Their music is the music of the streets,
kind of an urban folk poetry.

You want to talk about urban folk
poetry?

Let's talk about the master himself,
little Bobby Dylan.

Once upon a time, you dressed so fine
through the bombs of dime in your prime,

didn't you?

I'd like your public transportation to
write something like that.

public enemy's a little more relevant
than some old geezer who spent the last

few years wandering through traveling
Wilburys' videos looking like a rabbi.

Can you tell me that you find this
pseudo -political macho posturing

don't even... Wait a second.

I don't believe it.

Are we having a generation gap thing?

It was a close one. I almost fell right
into it.

Oh, boy, you know, I just flashed back
to my mother lecturing me on how Eddie

Fisher was vastly superior to the
Beatles.

Yeah, like a hard day's night doesn't
stack up to, oh, my papa.

Well, it's not like I'm like my mother.
I'm open, I'm available, and I'm ready

to listen to Public Storage.

Who are you listening to?

There's a fetus in the room.

I can't believe that you're listening to
rap music in front of a little one.

It's going to take six months of Mozart
to undo the damage you may have done.

The world is kind and loving, and the
arts are fully supported by

an enlightened federal government.

so I lied.

Now, from you two, I want happy
thoughts. Happy, happy thoughts. I'll be

listening.

I think it's so cool you were actually
willing to give rap music a chance.

Mom would never do that.

Hey, that's just the kind of person I
am.

Anyway, I remember what it's like being
a teenager.

Never being listened to, never being
respected, and worst of all, never being

trusted. Yeah.

Can I borrow your car?

What? Your car. Can I borrow it?

Uh, oh.

My car.

Well, let me just ask you a minor
question.

And I'm not asking you this as a non
-trusting, parental figure, Mike. I'm

asking you this as the owner of a new
Porsche. Why do you want it?

This makes you feel uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable? I am not uncomfortable.

It's a perfectly reasonable request. How
could I say no? How could I say no?

I'm just going to grab a cup of coffee
first.

Oh, God. Really?

And here's the topper. This morning,
just to be nice, I asked little Nika if

she'd like to take a look at the final
cut of my piece on the cattle industry.

Big mistake. Well, tell me about it. An
hour later, she comes back with four

pages of suggested cuts, including the
45 seconds of me roping a steer. She

it could be construed as narcissistic.
Can you believe that? It's the best

in the whole piece.

And I was great in those chaps. What is
wrong with her?

She's insane.

I do not trust her. She's always
following me around, asking questions,

notes. So eager to learn. So eager to
have my job.

And she'll get it, too. The network
loves people like her. Young,

willing to work for nothing. And I
should know. That's how I got in.

You know who I blame for this?

Murphy. You're right. It's Murphy's
fault. She hasn't put any limits on

Children need limits.

I'll tell you what she needs.

An electronic bark collar. Like the
times we got our dog Trickster to keep

from going crazy on trash can day.

Every time Nika opens her mouth, we give
her a jolt. That would keep her in

line.

Hi, guys.

Is Nika here yet?

She's having such a great time with you
that I asked her to join us. I hope you

don't mind.

Murph, we've been having a little
problem with Nika.

We hate her.

Come on, guys.

I know Nika's a little overzealous, but
she's just a kid. She's just so eager to

experience life. We can fix that. Tell
her about the collar. The point is, she

needs some discipline. You're in charge.
Take control.

Listen to you guys.

Discipline, control. That's exactly how
not to deal with a kid. Now, I'm

treating her like an adult, and I can
tell you, I think I'm really having an

effect on her.

Oh, boy. Here she is.

Isn't that Dawn from editing?

See? She's interested in every facet of
the business. Isn't that great?

Good holy moly.

Okay, Ogie, let's just all relax.

It's just a little goodbye kiss.

She's just testing her boundaries,
that's all.

Searching for her identity.

Searching for Don's uvula.

Hi, everybody.

Sorry I'm late, but I was making up a
list of story areas I really think the

show should tackle. And we would love to
hear them, but, um... But, uh, Louise,

the cafeteria is retiring and we have to
go say goodbye.

Yes, good old Louise.

The steam table won't be the same
without her.

Wait for me!

Ow!

Gee, looks like you and Don are really
hitting it off.

Interesting guy.

37, married four times, sleeps in a
coffin.

Hey there, Murphy.

This must be your little friend, Nica.

Actually, it's Nica, as in Nicaragua.

Really? Well, I'm Phil, as in
Philadelphia.

What can I get you?

I'll have a chef's salad and a cup of
hot tea, thanks, Phil.

I'll have a chef's salad and a scotch
rocks.

Scotch?

She wants a scotch. You wouldn't have to
have an I .D., would you? An I .D.? He

wants an I .D. This happens all the
time. I guess I just look younger than I

Here you go.

Very nice.

I especially like the way you switched
to three in 1973 with the zero and the

serial number.

Excellent technique.

That is totally legit.

Look, kid, you're traveling down a
dangerous path here.

First it's faking IDs, and then it's
school documents, and pretty soon the

comes easier.

The next thing you know, you're a
lawyer.

Two chef's salads and two teas coming
right up.

I'll just keep this for my collection.

Can you believe that?

I'm old enough to serve in the military,
but I can't have a drink.

After a hard week, the laws in this
country are so stupid. I'm going to have

cigarette. I believe it's illegal for me
to do that.

Teenagers, God's punishment for enjoying
sex.

This is terrifying.

I've got one of those things growing
inside me.

Oh, Murphy, don't worry.

It's not like your kid's going to be
born a teenager.

You've got years to get ready. Well, by
the time you have to deal with an 18

-year -old, you'll be... Wow.

62?

Oh, my God. What have I done?

another 68 cents after taxes.

Oh, by the way, the lint tray in your
dryer looks packed. Now, I would clean

that out for you myself, but then how
would you learn?

Elvis, I don't have time to discuss my
lint tray.

What is this?

When your child drives you crazy.

Don't blame mother.

What to do when your teenager laughs in
your face.

So have we finally decided to do
something about the bad seed?

Look, Eldon, I know things have been a
little difficult with Nika, but that's

all about to change. Why?

Research, the reporter's tool.

Everything I need to handle her is in
these books. Listen to this from talking

to your team.

The key is to put the problem out in the
open in a clear and nonjudgmental way.

Step one, before beginning your
dialogue... Place two chairs of equal

facing each other to ensure a sense of
equality.

Okay, let's say you just have one chair
and a sofa.

Does the kid end up operating the tilt
-a -whirl on Route 9?

Step two. Use a gentle touch, such as a
hand on the shoulder, to remove any

sense of separation.

Step three. Make direct eye contact and
calmly begin the dialogue. This is

terrific. Okay, but if that doesn't
work, there's always the old Bernanke

method. which is Off for a Weekend with
Aunt Lottie, a woman who in 1932 punched

out Max Schmeling for cutting in front
of her at the bakery.

Those are the old ways, Eldon, and these
are the new. Just a few key points on

these three -by -five cards and a little
furniture rearranging. I know it'll

work.

involved with this Charlie's Angels
rerun. I lost all track of the time.

I'm glad you're awake because I have
something I really need to talk to you

about. Oh, well, that's good because I
want to talk to you, too.

So why don't we just walk over to these
two lovely chairs? Oh, I can't sit when

I have a lot on my mind. I have to pace.
Oh, no, that's not good. Pacing's not

good. Sitting is good.

I paid a lot of money for these chairs,
so why don't we just sit in them? Come

on, sit.

Okay.

So the thing is that I... Wait, wait,
wait, wait. You're jumping ahead.

Just hold on and soon we'll be
conversing back and forth in a free

open dialogue.

Here we are in two comfortable chairs,
eye to eye, making contact.

Feeling good and ready to go.

Yeah, sure.

So the thing is that I was... No, no,
no. You don't talk yet.

First, we state the purpose of our
conversation.

The purpose of our conversation is to
clear the air and establish a firm basis

for communication.

Why are you talking like that? You sound
like you're reading something out of a

book. I do not. I sound perfectly
normal.

Step four, I will ask you a question.

Now, you can choose to answer the
question. Oh, for instance, it could be

something like, say, what were you doing
till four this morning?

That's what I've been trying to tell
you. I've spent the whole night walking,

walking and thinking.

You were walking and thinking.

What were you thinking?

Nikan.

This may sound crazy, so I'm just going
to say it.

I want to drop out of college.

You see, everything was going so well,
and then you left the chair.

I mean it, Murphy.

The time I've spent here has been so
incredible, I don't want it to end. And

tonight, I realize that it doesn't have
to.

Oh, my God, this is getting worse. I
really wish you'd sit down.

I have learned so much about TV
journalism this week. Why should I waste

years in school when I can be out in the
real world doing the work that I love?

But it's such a big decision, I need
your help.

Murphy, what should I do? Oh, sure, now
you're sitting.

Please, Murphy.

I need to hear from someone I can trust,
someone I know will be honest.

Okay.

You want to know what I think?

I'll tell you.

I think you have a real shot to make it
as a journalist, with or without a

degree.

But college is the last chance you have
to learn just for the sake of learning,

without worrying how you're going to use
it in your next story.

So what are you saying, that I should
stay in college?

You know, Nika, if I look at you and I
see myself 20 years ago, take it from

Life goes by awfully quickly.

If I were you, I'd just slow down and
enjoy it.

Are you kidding me?

Stay in school. You sound just like my
mom. God, Murphy, I am so disappointed

you. That is the most predictable,
stupid advice I have ever heard.

Well, you know what?

That's the best advice I know how to
give.

And don't use that tone with me.

Forget it. I'm going to bed.

Oh, no, you're not.

You get your little keister right back
here, young lady, because you've got

explaining to do. Do you know that for
the last five hours I've been worried

that you were lying in a ditch
somewhere?

I didn't think that you would be... Oh,
you didn't think.

I suppose you didn't have 20 cents for a
phone call. You'd lose your head if it

wasn't attached.

You know, young lady, there's a lot of
things... Remember you said it. You

called me a young lady twice, actually.

I did, didn't I?

I said young lady.

And you know what?

I liked it.

Oh, God, you're turning into one of
them.

It feels right.

Like some kind of torch has been passed.

I'm going to bed. And tomorrow morning,
you're going to catch the first plane

back home to your mother.

But first, clean up this pigsty. You
think a genie's going to do it for you?

And don't give me that look. If you keep
making that face, it'll freeze that

way. And don't run with a stick you can
put out an eye.

it murphy you're scaring me i'll give
you something to be scared about turn

some of these lights you think i'm made
of money behind those ears you can grow

potatoes back there hey i'm on a roll
here i'm gonna write some of these

down