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DING!
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They look worse to me on Monday morning.
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Thanks a lot, Sarge. You ain't exactly
no oil painting yourself.
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Quiet, mullet. I don't want you to tell
Castro all the slobs.
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Zimmerman! Goverman! No.
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Goverman!
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Goverman! Did you hear your name? What's
the matter with you?
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Sarge, I got a stomachache. It hurts in
here.
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In here? How far in? About three feet?
Four feet?
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Stop gouging yourself a wound right in
there.
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And, uh... Yep.
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Forbes! No.
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Who's Forbes?
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New man, came in Saturday. New man?
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Forbes. Hey, how's Forbes?
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Hey, this is a large one.
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Welcome to the outfit, Forbes. I think
you'll like it here. If you play ball
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with us, we'll play ball with you. We
work hard, but we take time for little
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pleasures. You'll find there's always
time for a friendly game of poker, 21
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roulette, off -track betting.
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Oh,
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this is going to be a problem.
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What's that?
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Don't you see it? It's obvious.
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Chest, wide shoulders, clean uniform.
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He stands out in this platoon like a
healthy thumb.
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What's the problem?
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The problem? I can't have them lusting
up my outfit.
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Suppose there's a full inspection.
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They come in, they see Fender, Doberman,
Fleishman, and in the middle of them, a
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human being.
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That's real bad. I've got to protect
them.
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They're nothing much, but I've got to...
Take that jacket off. Come on. Let's
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see what we can do with you. We've got
to casual you up a little. You know what
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I mean? You don't want to be... Oh, my
trouble. He's got muscles yet, too.
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No, then don't go bucking for...
Let's... Doberman.
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Give me that effect. Push it out. Push
it out.
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All right. Pass it back the line.
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It doesn't have to be so neat. What do
you want to be?
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That's much better. All right, back in
line.
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Hey, Sarge, you're going to finish the
wrong call. It's almost time for chow.
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Chow? Thought you had a stomachache.
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I think it was hunger pain.
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This? This!
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You really worried about Forbes, then?
Not really. Two weeks in a motor pool,
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he'll look like a tall dog.
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Colonel Hall wants to see you in his
office right away.
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Colonel wants to see me? Sounds like
trouble.
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Hey, was there any gambling in the
barracks while I was away? How could
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be? You beat him out of every cent
before you left. Hey, Sarge, maybe he
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out about your Jefferson Davis Day
raffle. What was wrong with it? It was
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legitimate. I gave a $100 dollar prize.
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Yeah, but you paid off in Confederate
money.
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That was weeks ago. What does he want
now?
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Look, Ernie, it's just an outside
chance, but maybe it has something to do
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the Army.
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The Army, of course. I keep forgetting
about the Army.
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I'll get right to the point. There's a
new man in your army. outfit named
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Forbes. Have you seen him yet? Oh, yes,
sir. Good, basic soldier material, sir.
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I'll whip him into shape.
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No, Bilko, you've got it wrong. He's
going to whip you into shape. You and
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platoon of rambling wrecks.
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Oh, sir, I'll admit they're not
picturesque, but... But nothing, Bilko.
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They're in terrible condition.
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I want them to go into training.
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Regular hours. Early to bed.
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Early to rise.
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Exercise. The works. Oh, sir, they get
plenty of exercise, sir. Bilko, I don't
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call bending over to pick up dice
exercise.
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Quiet, Bilko.
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Forbes was a physical training
instructor in civilian life. That's why
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assigned him to your platoon.
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But, sir, what was I to... See that he
gets your full cooperation.
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There still may be time to save
Doberman.
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Save Doberman? Well, you know as well as
I do, he's only 500 calories away from
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exploding.
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Maybe a month of clean life will put you
in condition when we go on Bivouac.
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Midlack, sir? I didn't expect you to
understand.
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It's a military term.
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Oh, my colonel is judging me.
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No, my sergeant. I was never more
serious. The new regime starts tomorrow
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morning at 6 a .m. 6 a .m., sir? Well,
even in the New Guinea campaign... You
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heard me, Bilko. 6 a .m. But, sir, my
eye doctor has warned me about the
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sun. 6 a .m., Bilko. That's an order.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
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exercises. Let's go now. Come on here.
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Come on. Let's fall in. Let's go.
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Let's go. 6 a .m.
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Let's go. Come on.
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Sergeant Bill called. 6 a .m.
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I'm sorry, Sergeant. Let's go.
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Come on, man. Let's fall in here. Let's
go.
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Where is he? Where is he? What are you
doing, Forbes?
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You better fall in, Sarge. It's
Colonel's orders. Let's have some
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Calisthenics. Let's go.
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start off this morning with some deep
breathing exercises.
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Let's get some of that fresh morning
air.
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Come on. Way up on your toes and deep
breathe.
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And again.
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That's good.
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All right, men. Now let's have some deep
knee bends. All right. Arms up.
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Stretch. And one.
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Elbows up.
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Double time.
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Pause.
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Hey,
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you know, Berto's the only guy that
don't feel good. Yeah, you know.
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Well, Sarge, what'd the doctor say?
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Bad news.
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I'm gonna live.
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Hey, Sarge, don't you think that Forbes
got a better physique than any of these
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guys? Why do you bother me? What do you
want?
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Besides, Dino and I were having an
argument. Yeah, a movie studio was
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for a new Tarzan.
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They're offering a $100 ,000 contract.
And I said that Forbes got these... Will
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you please stop bothering me about
Forbes and his muscles, okay?
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Forbes.
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Sarge, Sarge. What do you got against
Forbes? Nothing. He's going to be out of
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here in a few days. This is a solemn
promise I made to my aching muscles. I
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don't need this.
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$100 ,000.
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Who's looking for a new Tarzan? Who?
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That's a production.
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Forbes would be perfect for this.
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Where is he?
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Where's the body beautiful? He's working
out in the gym right now. Get him here
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on the double. Move it.
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Look. Ernie, do you really think that
Forbes is... I'll talk to you in my
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I don't want anybody stealing my idea.
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Those movie companies make 2 ,000 or 3
,000 pictures a year. Forbes will be
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famous all over the world. Yeah, but
Ernie, how do you know we can act?
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What act? You don't have to act. All you
have to learn how to do is stab animals
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and say two lines.
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Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.
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What's good for you? Me, rich.
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Hey, Sarge, how do we go about all this?
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Take a letter.
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Sarles' Productions Incorporated. Yes,
Sarge.
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Hold it. Come in.
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Do you want to see me, Sergeant? There
he is. Is he beautiful, boys? I ask you.
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Is he beautiful?
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He sure is. Boy, I could go for you
myself if I was a girl or a gorilla.
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here.
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I'll be right on the line.
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How would you like to be the new movie
Tarzan?
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Me? Tarzan? See that? He knows the part
already.
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Big companies are making a national wide
search for a new Tarzan. I happen to
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think you've got talent enough to do it.
Now, would you like to make a screen
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test this weekend?
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Does it have to be this weekend?
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Why, you got a date? Break it. This is
more important.
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It's not a date, Sarge. I entered the
Mr. Universe contest at Santa Monica
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this Saturday.
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Mr. Universe?
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Yeah, that's why I was over at the gym
working out on the weights. That's
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perfect. That's even better. As Forbes,
he's a nobody.
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But as Mr. Universe, we've got a selling
point.
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Wait a minute, Sarge. Look, I've seen
some of the competition.
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I don't even think I'm going to win.
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Really? Let me worry about that. Get
back to the gym and do your set -up
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exercises. Be careful. Wear a robe. I
don't want you catching a chill. Move
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Stay in shape now.
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Look, Ernie, are you going to fix the
contest?
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Hanch, would I do anything underhanded?
Yes.
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Then stop asking foolish questions.
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Next thing, you've got to get him one of
those tight -fitting loincloths. Let
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that skin think that they're wet.
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Fender, I've never massaged one since
you, Fender.
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Skin? Don't you get it? There's going to
be movie scouts at the Mr. Universe
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contest, right?
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And if the winner happens to be dressed
like Tarzan, would that hurt us?
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Would it? Would it hurt us? What do you
want, Bill? Good boy, look. Here's what
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I want you to do. Can you make me a
tight -fitting loincloth to fit Forbes?
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Sure. What's a loincloth?
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It's a male bikini. You know, the thing
that Tarzan wears in the movies? Oh,
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yeah. Only I want this made out of
leopard skin.
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Leopard skin? Yes. Why not mink? Are you
nuts?
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Tarzan is brave. He ain't rich. You
don't find mink in the jungle. You don't
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find leopards in the army either.
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Leopard skin on this post.
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00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,740
Somebody's got a leopard skin. I've seen
it. It's in my...
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Emma Ritzick. Emma Ritzick. Sarge, she
may be a beast, but she ain't got spots.
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That old Levitskin coach she's got, she
must be 15 years old. She'll be able to
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tear it up. You make a loincloth. Yeah,
but what makes you think she's going to
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give it to you? You don't know Emma like
I do. She's got a heart bigger than her
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mouth.
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Emma, I've got to hand it to you. This
is a perfect finish to a lousy meal.
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A lousy cup of coffee.
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take your slippers and your newspaper,
go into the bedroom and drop dead.
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Why, did you cry your eyes out? Try me.
Go ahead, just try me. Oh, there's
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somebody at the door.
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Wouldn't you know it.
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Company. Just when we have a chance for
a nice, quiet evening at home.
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Come in. Ah, Rupert. And Emma, how are
you? What do you want, Bilko? We're
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helping out with a worthy charity. You
see, we're collecting clothes for the
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00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:04,510
needy. Leave me alone, Bilko. Oh,
surely, Emma, you have an old dress you
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00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:06,990
spare? Oh, sure I have an old dress, but
I can't spare it.
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00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,520
Say, Bilko, I got a pair of old slacks
you could have.
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00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,580
Say, that's very generous of you,
Rupert. Well, I hope you don't mind
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00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:17,220
rip in one leg. That's where Emma bit
me. Well, we'll take that.
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Emma, safely you can spare some old coat
or something like that. Are you
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kidding? And tell me, who are you
collecting this for?
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The Salvation Army.
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00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:26,060
Well, what a coincidence.
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That's where I buy my clothes.
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Everybody knows you're one of the ten
best, best women in camp.
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00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:35,340
Ha, that's a laugh. Do you want to see
my fabulous wardrobe? Do you want to see
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what I've got to show after 15 years of
married life?
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make me generous and never need to show
all the clothes that you're talking
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about. There, that's my fabulous
wardrobe. Oh, surely you can spare this
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00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:48,400
old coat. Don't be silly. Who are you
kidding? What will I have to keep me
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in the winter?
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Antifreeze? Oh, Antifreeze.
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00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:55,300
After the anniversary present that
Rupert is going to give you. What? Oh, I
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00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,620
and gave away the secret.
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00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:58,940
What do you mean? Rupert's going to get
me a new coat?
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Thank you very much, Steve. We'll see
that you get your receipt the first of
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00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:22,130
week.
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00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:29,890
Where'd he go? Oh, Rupert, I'm sorry I
yelled at you before. You're really very
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00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,770
sweet. What are you talking about?
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00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,030
Never mind.
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00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,210
I can wait till next week.
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Emma, if I had known it happened years
ago, I'd swear you were losing your
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00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,780
Let me see. Got to give a little dip
here, a little carelessness.
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That's what I want. Now, let me see.
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00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,780
Give me the hairspray. Oh, hairspray.
Now, look, this is for your own sake
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00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,520
All righty, comb.
227
00:10:57,860 --> 00:11:00,500
A little dip for Rooney. Ah, that's it.
228
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:01,820
Very good. Now, wait a second.
229
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,560
Eyebrow pencil. Oh, no, not that. Now,
look, I happen to know that Price
230
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,840
Westmore won two hours a day on Buster
Crabbe. Now, let me help you with these
231
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,580
things. A little sweep, a little look of
innocence. Up.
232
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:12,840
Surprise.
233
00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:15,110
Prize on this side.
234
00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:15,909
Very good.
235
00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:17,670
Very good. Give me the merit. Well, what
do you think?
236
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:20,790
Well, maybe the contest winner will take
me out to dance.
237
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,210
Excuse me.
238
00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:26,810
The dame, the one who's supposed to
paint when Forbes is announced, she's
239
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:27,810
outside. Good.
240
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,630
All right, hence, where is she?
241
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:30,850
Over here, miss.
242
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:34,150
Perfect. Perfect.
243
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:36,210
Wide -eyed, giddy look.
244
00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:40,010
Miss, do you know what she's supposed to
do for your $5? I think so. You mean
245
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,190
you think so? It's got to be better than
that. This is very important to me.
246
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:43,610
We'd better rehearse this. Now, look.
247
00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:47,250
When Chuck Forbes comes out on the ramp,
I want you to scream and then to faint.
248
00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:47,929
You understand?
249
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:51,010
We better rephrase it once. The
announcer will say, in our next entry,
250
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,010
Forbes!
251
00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:58,990
I said Forbes, not Frankenstein. I want
the screen to be drawn out, you know,
252
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,350
full of desire, ecstasy. You understand?
Let's try it.
253
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,580
to me. We're going to be on television.
All your friends will see you.
254
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,620
Have you ever been on television before?
255
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,360
You're not going to be nervous, are you?
Nope.
256
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:22,599
Good, good.
257
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,940
Now look, maybe this will help you.
258
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,760
Here. This is for you. Oh, thank you,
sir. Wait a minute. We didn't do
259
00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,240
Did you tell her what this is? Oh, look.
260
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,320
This may help you. Think of this
mentally. When Chuck's Forbes comes out,
261
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,780
you scream and faint, visualize this in
your mind.
262
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:41,840
This guy is six foot two, and he is
handsome like a Greek god.
263
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:44,920
He tapers down to practically nothing in
the waist.
264
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,720
Broad shoulder and a deep chest.
265
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,279
Rippling muscles.
266
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,780
A Latin lover type of battle.
267
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,780
Oh, that's perfect. Hey, Ernie. What?
This thing really fainted. Are you
268
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:55,780
kidding?
269
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,540
What is this, a real nut? Get her out of
here. All right.
270
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:02,300
Ah,
271
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:06,000
beautiful. I feel sorry for the
competition. Don't waste your sympathy.
272
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,340
What do you mean? Take a look at the
competition. They just came in.
273
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,190
Is that important to you? You think
that's manly, big, ugly muscles?
274
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,170
Ernie, Bob, we're in trouble.
275
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,110
All right. He stands amongst them. He
looks like Mr.
276
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:18,390
Malnutrition.
277
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:22,370
I have a lot of fellas in the contest. I
suppose you know all the rules.
278
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,790
Each contestant must speak at least
three foreign languages.
279
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:25,990
I suppose you know that, didn't you?
280
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:27,610
Oh, yes. Any three languages at all.
281
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:28,529
Everybody dressed?
282
00:13:28,530 --> 00:13:29,209
Yeah, what's up?
283
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:31,670
One of the judges wants to take a
picture before the contest begins.
284
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,010
This way, ma 'am.
285
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:35,750
Well, this is Ursula Thorndike, editor
of Body Health magazine.
286
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:39,830
Hello, boys. This will only take a
moment. I just flew in from New York,
287
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:42,250
want to get a nice group picture for my
magazine.
288
00:13:42,610 --> 00:13:45,610
Now, gather in close. Oh, excuse me,
Miss Thorndike. May I offer my
289
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:48,070
I'm used to this. I've done so many of
this for the army, you see. If a group
290
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:50,850
picture doesn't have the proper
dimensions, you've lost the whole
291
00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:53,950
better be out, because you've taken...
Oh, let me pose them for you. Will you
292
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:56,550
get down on your knees and give me a
determination pose? Down on your knees.
293
00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:57,990
Now, face this way so we get a good
profile.
294
00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:01,910
And you look up and turn. And you put
your name for it. Right in there. Right
295
00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:04,410
there. Now, you, will you turn your
back? I'm giving you a look over the
296
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,410
shoulder.
297
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:09,550
That's a good one. There you are. Just a
minute, if you don't mind. I'd like to
298
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:10,449
do this myself.
299
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,950
Get up, boys. Get up. Now move in
closer.
300
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:15,250
Oh, skinny, you get at the end.
301
00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:18,050
Oh,
302
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:20,770
nice.
303
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,070
Now run out with the picture, please.
304
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,840
Thanks, Alice. Thank you, boys. It was
splendid.
305
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,720
I'll see you all later. Oh, excuse me a
moment, Miss Stornike. Yes? As a devoted
306
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,560
reader of your magazine, may I ask you a
personal question, please? Well, what
307
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,640
is it? What is the circulation of your
magazine?
308
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,460
We have about 15 ,000 readers.
309
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,980
15 ,000. Oh, that's disgraceful.
310
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,960
May I ask you another personal question?
311
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,480
Yes. And please listen to this question
very intently.
312
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,060
How would you like to have a
circulation?
313
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:46,849
Of two million.
314
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:48,770
Two million? But where would they come
from?
315
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,270
Same place this Forbes comes from. The
army.
316
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:52,309
The army?
317
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:56,070
Yes. I can personally guarantee you,
should a soldier win this contest, a
318
00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:58,630
grateful Pentagon would make your
magazine required reading.
319
00:14:58,970 --> 00:14:59,970
What? What? Huh?
320
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:05,550
I see. Now, let me understand this. In
other words, you want me to help your
321
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:06,449
to win.
322
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,610
That's right, Osella. Oh, those eyes and
that hair. Who does your hair, my dear?
323
00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:10,810
Now, just a minute, Sergeant.
324
00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:15,170
And for this favor, you will guarantee
me a circulation of two million.
325
00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,010
I certainly do, my dear. And what do you
say?
326
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:19,730
Well, what can I say, Sergeant? Say it.
Say it.
327
00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:21,030
Very well.
328
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,430
Police! Yes,
329
00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:28,240
ma 'am? trying to bribe me by saying to
him that I made his man Forbes the
330
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,020
winner. I'm not giving out to tell you
who I am. I'm from the FBI. I was just
331
00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:34,160
giving out the honesty test. And may I
say, she's as honest as she is lovely.
332
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,300
It's all right. He's lying. It was an
out -and -out bribe. What are you
333
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,300
about? What?
334
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:45,270
Did it hurt when they dropped you? Well,
fortunately, my fall was broken by the
335
00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:48,730
flaw. Why don't we give up and go back
to camp? No.
336
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,410
He's still going to be the new Tarzan.
337
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:51,690
But he's been disqualified.
338
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:54,530
It's not a lot, but it'll renew
interest. We'll start a publicity stunt,
339
00:15:54,530 --> 00:15:55,910
gimmick. Sarge. What?
340
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,110
I got an idea.
341
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:59,530
Who is the guy playing Tarzan in the
movies now? Gordon Scott.
342
00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:02,530
Okay. Why don't we take Forbes to
Hollywood? Let him pick a fight with
343
00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:04,630
Scott in some public place, and boom,
we're in the headlines.
344
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:05,949
Not bad.
345
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:08,810
But not good enough. We've got to have
him fight an animal. An animal? Yes, the
346
00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:10,190
most ferocious animal there is, a
gorilla.
347
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,800
But Ernie, you'll get killed.
348
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,700
Not with this gorilla. This gorilla
won't hide or fly.
349
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,020
Who's it going to be? Who else?
350
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:16,420
Doberman.
351
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,220
What's the matter, dear?
352
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,620
My stomach feels upset.
353
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,700
Must have been that Welsh rabbit we had
for dinner.
354
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,540
You look like you've just seen a ghost.
I wish I had.
355
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,499
What do you mean?
356
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,500
I think I just saw a gorilla.
357
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:31,560
Black rabbits, gophers, coyotes, maybe
an occasional mountain lion.
358
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,180
How about an occasional gorilla?
359
00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:35,360
The cradle is pulling my leg.
360
00:17:35,980 --> 00:17:40,000
Barker, look over there about a mile
away near that clump of trees.
361
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,320
Yes, sir.
362
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:42,700
What do you see?
363
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:44,580
Nothing, sir.
364
00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:46,220
Are you sure?
365
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,180
I don't see anything, sir.
366
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:49,840
Oh, that's a relief.
367
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,960
Barker, before I forget it, take a memo.
368
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:53,900
Yes, sir. Miss Sergeant Ritzig.
369
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,740
Under no circumstances is Welsh rare of
it to be served at Camp Fremont.
370
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:00,920
I don't care what you say, Parker.
371
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:04,980
I could have sworn I saw a gorilla
through these binoculars. Sir, you must
372
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:06,840
overtired. It might have been an optical
illusion.
373
00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,780
Magnificently. I'll take a look.
374
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,760
Quick, sir, the phone. The phone! Sir!
375
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,280
Sir! Sir!
376
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,840
What's he, Colonel?
377
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,660
I was just talking to the gorilla. I
mean, I was giving orders.
378
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,500
Is there anything I can do to help? Sir,
I have a suggestion.
379
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:25,620
Why don't you invite... The general will
stay here at command post so while you
380
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:29,540
personally lead the men into the field.
You go ahead, John. I'd be glad to help
381
00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:32,820
out. Lean on, Colonel Courageous. Your
men would follow you anywhere, sir.
382
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:36,380
And you can believe me, General, the
community can rest in peace because I
383
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:39,540
promise you by tomorrow morning that
gorilla will be hanging in the colonel's
384
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:40,540
trophy room.
385
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,060
Well, Forbes, I'm sorry it didn't work
out, but I think you'd have made a great
386
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,060
tossing. Oh, that's all right. Keep in
shape, kid. We'll think of something
387
00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:53,060
else.
388
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,480
Yeah, Bilko, you've got to sign this.
389
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:56,479
Sign what?
390
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,580
This is an application for a bank loan
for $300, and you're the co -maker, and
391
00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,840
you've got to sign right here. You must
be out of your mind, Robert. I quit
392
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,900
signing things the minute I signed my
enlistment papers.
393
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,120
Yeah, but you got me into this.
394
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,800
$300? What's that for?
395
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:11,260
For the new coat that you promised Emma
that I would buy her. Oh, now, will you
396
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,360
just tell her I was drinking, I was out
of my mind, I didn't know what I was
397
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,500
saying, and she'll forget the whole
thing. You think she'll believe that? Of
398
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:16,500
course she will. Good.
399
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,920
Then you tell her. Tell her what I...
She's here. Bilko, I'm sick and tired of
400
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,400
having you interfere in my private life.
Now, you came to my house and
401
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,680
personally ruined a brand new...
402
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:39,100
Also seen in tonight's cast were Kenneth
Vaughn as Forbes, Joey Ross as Sergeant
403
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:43,320
Ritzig, Beatrice Ponds as Mrs. Ritzig,
Edith King as Ursula Thorndyke, John
404
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:47,540
Alexander as General Alexander, Nick
Saunders as Captain Parker, Fred Herrick
405
00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:49,820
the Hunter, and Hope Sandsbury as Mrs.
Hall.
34867
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