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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,499 --> 00:00:11,380 I'm just not good at this sort of thing. Oh, come on, Jim. 2 00:00:11,780 --> 00:00:14,960 If Doris were going on a trip and she wanted to leave you a little love note, 3 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,640 what kind of thing would you want her to say? 4 00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,800 Well, I don't know. There's turkey salad in the fridge. 5 00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:20,260 That's not romantic. 6 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:23,120 It is if it's in the shape of a breast. Now, please, Gorky, ask someone. 7 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,420 Ask what? What are you doing? 8 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,590 Well, since we're all going away on location, I thought... leave a romantic 9 00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:33,030 little note for Will to open each of the four days I'm gone. That way he won't 10 00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:33,909 miss me as much. 11 00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:36,730 I've written all the messages, but I'm not happy with the last one. So what 12 00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:39,310 you got so far? Frank, we have a lot to do today. We don't have time for this. 13 00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:40,610 Day one. 14 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:43,990 Dear Will, I'm counting the days until I'm back in your arms. 15 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:45,309 Day two. 16 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:48,430 Honey, I'm thinking about your wonderful kisses all the time. 17 00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:50,170 Day three. 18 00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:53,530 Sweetheart, I had a dream about you and I can't wait to make it real. 19 00:00:54,390 --> 00:00:55,289 Day four. 20 00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:56,310 Clean the cat box. 21 00:00:58,190 --> 00:00:59,169 Murphy, put the notes away. 22 00:00:59,170 --> 00:01:01,750 Clean the cat box, darling. Put the notes away. Put the notes away away. 23 00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:06,410 All right, now. 24 00:01:06,770 --> 00:01:10,490 I just wanted to get you all together once more before we leave for 25 00:01:10,490 --> 00:01:11,490 tomorrow night. 26 00:01:11,850 --> 00:01:13,430 In a minute, Murphy. Let me finish. 27 00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:19,530 The network has laid out a very impressive ad campaign because they 28 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:23,510 I, that the idea to profile a small American town is a very important one. 29 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:28,000 I have here the entire itinerary for you and your segment producers, including 30 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,580 your air tickets. What, Murphy? 31 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,760 What could you possibly have to say that could be so important you can't wait 32 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,579 until I'm finished? 33 00:01:33,580 --> 00:01:35,360 I don't think we should go to Pottersville tomorrow. 34 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,000 What are you talking about? 35 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,980 I think we should leave for Pottersville tonight. 36 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,260 We can't leave tonight. 37 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,640 Come on, you guys. We're devoting an entire hour to coverage of life in a 38 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,800 town. We can't do that in four days. I say we take a fifth day and leave 39 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,290 tonight. First of all, we don't have the budget for five days of location work. 40 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:55,910 Secondly, I have planned our schedule very carefully to cover as much ground 41 00:01:55,910 --> 00:02:00,270 possible. And thirdly, it's Audrey's birthday tonight. We have reservations 42 00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:01,270 Sardellas. 43 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:06,170 So this is our priority now. Gee, America, sorry we couldn't bring you FYI 44 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:09,810 tonight. But let's go now to Sardella's where an angry Miles has just discovered 45 00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:10,810 beets on his salad. 46 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:14,950 Oh, come on. If I thought for one minute that staying an extra day in 47 00:02:14,950 --> 00:02:17,150 Pottersville would make for a better story, I'd be there. 48 00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,630 I think Miles is right, Murphy. This schedule seems to include all the 49 00:02:20,630 --> 00:02:24,090 areas. Community life, civic affairs, cultural activities. 50 00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:28,670 Although I noticed you have me covering the annual frog jumping contest. 51 00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:32,430 I don't have to touch the frogs, do I? No, Jim. Oh, good. So it seems as though 52 00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:36,570 an extra day really isn't necessary, especially since Doris has the flu and I 53 00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:37,910 wouldn't mind taking care of her tonight. 54 00:02:38,370 --> 00:02:40,510 Oh, that's so sweet. 55 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:45,290 Guys, what is this neurotic obsession with loved ones? 56 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:49,630 I mean, are you going to sit at the Emmys next year and watch CNN and 57 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:50,650 walk away with everything? 58 00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:53,910 Murphy's right. We've been doing our own research, and there are a lot of great 59 00:02:53,910 --> 00:02:57,910 details we should be covering. For instance, there's a weekly poker game 60 00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:01,610 Scotty's gas station. Those guys talk about everything from the war in the 61 00:03:01,610 --> 00:03:02,610 to women's hemlines. 62 00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:05,510 If that poker game goes, so will the rest of this country. 63 00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:09,310 Right. Now, what about Mayor Foley? Are we just going to set up a camera in his 64 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:12,850 office and let him tell us what a wonderful place Pottersville is to 65 00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,530 are we going to find out why there's been an increase in teenage drug 66 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:19,050 Miles, it's easy for them to leave tonight. They have no one in their 67 00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:21,830 Frank has just one meaningless encounter after the other. 68 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,700 Look, you two, you've both made some very good points, but I still don't 69 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:32,700 it's necessary to leave tonight. 70 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:37,340 Oh, well, that's just swell, Miles. And you call yourself a journalist. Well, 71 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,480 let me tell you, if I were running this show, I'd have us on the next plane. 72 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,280 The man's judgment is in his shorts. He's not confident to leave this 73 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,840 Next thing you know, he'll be planning our assignments with a Ouija board. I'm 74 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,780 telling you, the man has lost touch with reality. 75 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,260 And if we really care about him, the kindest thing we can do is to call the 76 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,360 authorities and have him locked up before he hurts somebody. 77 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:57,620 I'm finished. 78 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:00,839 Amazing, isn't it? 79 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,180 That such a loud noise could come out of such a small opening in the head. 80 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,020 I hear that voice in my sleep. 81 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,100 Maybe they should pipe it into cornfields to scare the crows away. 82 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,260 She's killing me, Jim. 83 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,459 I have mail locks delivered to my house by the case. 84 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,420 I'm blinking constantly for no reason. Just blinking. 85 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,640 Blinking all the time. 86 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,020 I'm going to be deaf all the time. I'm 30. You just have to make it to 32. 87 00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:25,360 That's my number in the office pool. 88 00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:31,750 Always side with her. I know what goes on. You call each other at night to plot 89 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,030 little ways to drive me crazy. 90 00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,870 Well, guess what? It's not going to work this time. You know why? 91 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:40,230 I'm going to send you both to Potterville tonight. Just the two of 92 00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:43,390 there. Never come back for all I care. That's all I have to say. This meeting 93 00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:44,390 adjourned. 94 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:51,890 Hello again. 95 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:55,250 I'm sorry to interrupt you. Have you decided what you're having for dinner? 96 00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:56,630 Chicken. Chicken. 97 00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:58,010 Good. 98 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,120 And what about you, sir? 99 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:00,400 Well, I'm not sure how is the chicken. 100 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,680 Oh, just awful. 101 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,840 There's only one order left, but I'd be happy to set it aside for you. Oh, would 102 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:12,120 you really? That's very nice of you, Vicki. Oh, I'm pleased to do it for you, 103 00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:14,260 sir. Oh, please, call me Frank. 104 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,280 I know who you are. 105 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:20,940 I watch you on television every Wednesday night when I'm not flying. 106 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:24,480 Tell me, Vicki, do you live in Washington? 107 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:30,890 No, I live in Chicago, but I spend a lot of time in Washington. You know, I get 108 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:34,590 to Chicago a lot during the year. Maybe the next time I... Oh, come on, Frank. 109 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:38,250 You have me to sit near the window? Now you're practically in my lap. Aren't you 110 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,570 behind all the salads? And where's my ginger ale? 111 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,190 I'll check on it. 112 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:46,250 Would you like an extra bag of nuts, Frank? He's got more nuts than he knows 113 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,250 what to do with. 114 00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:55,170 Nice going, Murph. I was this... Close from a date with an angel. You are so 115 00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:58,590 easy, Frank. You fall all over the woman just because she says she'll save you 116 00:05:58,590 --> 00:06:01,810 the last order of beef. How could it be the last order of beef? We're in the 117 00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:02,809 first row. 118 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:06,390 Oh, so it was the old last order of beef trick. You think I didn't see through 119 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:10,350 that? She has incredible eyes, doesn't she? I don't usually get around to the 120 00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:12,250 eyes right away, but hers are way above that. 121 00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:15,190 You are some piece of work, Frank. 122 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:16,710 I know. 123 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,960 Oh, this is great, isn't it? You and me on assignment together. 124 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,920 Gee, we haven't done this in a long time. No, and we're going to do a great 125 00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:28,740 too. We're going to get out there and give those 60 -minute guys a run for 126 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,340 money. I really love the road. 127 00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:31,439 Me, too. 128 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,940 New places, new faces, no commitment. That's getting the story. 129 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,760 And if you get a good hotel, they leave a little piece of candy on your pillow 130 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,340 at night. I really love that. 131 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,460 We're out of ginger ale. Here's a V8. 132 00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:47,100 And here's a little something for you, Frank. 133 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,659 Slipper socks. 134 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,380 Oh, yeah, she wants me. 135 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,160 Okay, Frank, hypothetical question. 136 00:06:55,580 --> 00:07:00,620 What if you went out with her and, say, over dessert or whatever, suddenly you 137 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,300 realized this is the one? 138 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,180 What? The one what? 139 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:08,420 The woman. The person that turns you around, makes you want to change your 140 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:09,840 You mean settle down, me? 141 00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:11,140 Forget it. 142 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,280 Except for the fact that I haven't played wide receiver in the Super Bowl 143 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,780 would say that my life is pretty perfect. 144 00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,140 What about you? 145 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,500 Gee, I'd love to stay and chat, but it's only an hour until we land, and I still 146 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:24,500 have a question. 147 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:28,160 Sure, she can dish it out, but she can't take it. Well, that's fine. I've got my 148 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,860 New York Times crossword puzzle here. 149 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:34,320 And you know what? I am going to fly in the face of fate. I'm going to do it in 150 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,320 ink. 151 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,320 Was that a little lightning or something? Yeah, probably. 152 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,120 Looks like we're running into some weather. 153 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:54,500 It's uncanny, isn't it? The turbulence always starts right before the meal 154 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,500 service. 155 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,860 These people are unbelievable. 156 00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,920 Hey, could you keep it down, please? I'm trying to get some work done. 157 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,740 You pay for first class. 158 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,740 Murph, I think we're losing altitude. 159 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:09,360 Oh, it's just an air pocket. 160 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:10,580 A big air pocket. 161 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,580 It's probably nothing. 162 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,580 How many miles have we logged between us thousands, huh? 163 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,760 I'm sure if there was a problem, we would have heard from the pilot. 164 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,600 Here comes the pilot, Murph. 165 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,140 He seems calm, though. 166 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,300 Seems like there's nothing wrong. 167 00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:34,140 Not a good sign. 168 00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,860 Murph, I think you ought to put that thing away. 169 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,440 Frank, nothing's going to happen to this plane. 170 00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:41,740 I'm on it. 171 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:44,800 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention for just a minute? 172 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,400 We have a minor technical... 173 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,920 It seems we've lost power in our number one and two engines. 174 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:54,860 Now, there's no cause for alarm. We can land the plane safely as long as we have 175 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,400 our number three and four engines. 176 00:08:58,820 --> 00:08:59,820 Uh -oh. 177 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,000 Frank, what's going on? 178 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,240 You always do this. You don't pay attention, and then I have to repeat 179 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,680 everything for you. We're crashing. We're going down. 180 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,840 No, that's not possible. It's not possible. 181 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,460 Do not panic. 182 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:12,000 Do not panic. 183 00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:13,940 Everyone, take a pillow. 184 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,340 Place it on your lap. 185 00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:21,420 You might want to take this time to review the safety cards in your seat 186 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:25,280 Where? What safety card? I didn't get one. Someone took mine. The woman hates 187 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,620 me. I don't have a safety card. She didn't give me slipper socks. 188 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,340 Okay, so last words, last words. I need some good last words. Help me, ma 'am. 189 00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:32,920 I'll give you last words. 190 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,380 This is Murphy Brown talking. If anyone at the FAA is listening, I paid for 191 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:41,440 first class. My seat back didn't recline. I never got much injury. I make 192 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,580 of bad ones once in a while. And another thing. 193 00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:47,250 Mylon's public account president for the full length of this trip. I don't care 194 00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,630 if we wind up splattered all over Father John's weekday. 195 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:51,730 Oh, 196 00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:54,370 what's the use? This is pointless. 197 00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:57,590 We're going down. These could be our last minutes. I know. What do you do 198 00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:59,210 your last minutes? What do you think? What do you say? 199 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:02,770 Oh, I don't know. I can't believe I didn't settle down. I don't have any 200 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:03,770 don't even have a dog. 201 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:05,570 Huh? 202 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:06,870 Let's get married. What? 203 00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:10,750 We don't have much time left. We could still do it just to know we did it. 204 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:12,870 We don't even need a reverend. We can marry ourselves. 205 00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:17,240 Murphy, do you take me, Frank, to be your lawfully wedded husband? 206 00:10:17,460 --> 00:10:20,860 The sickness that it held for richer or poorer? I'm not sure. What do you mean 207 00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:23,240 you're not sure? Plunging to our death. What are you going to do? Wait for 208 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,240 somebody better to come along? 209 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,660 Frank, I'm not thinking straight. 210 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,020 I can't believe it. I never made out a will. 211 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,640 Who's going to wind up with my shoes? 212 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,120 Strangers. 213 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:33,960 Vicki. Hey, Vicki. 214 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,820 What, Frank? Vicki just didn't catch. Where are all the exits? 215 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,820 Do you want to know where all the exits are? 216 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,300 Now? 217 00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:49,690 Oh, you just sat there, wondering when the bar cart was coming out. 218 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:55,050 Didn't you, Mr. World Traveler? Mr. I -Know -It -All -My -Heart. And now you 219 00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:57,110 want me to tell you where all the exits are? 220 00:10:57,370 --> 00:11:00,530 Well, I told you once, and I'm not going to tell you again. 221 00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:03,090 I never liked her. 222 00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:05,710 Okay, listen up, people. 223 00:11:06,130 --> 00:11:10,150 Keep your seatbelts securely fastened. I'll carry on baggage and be stowed 224 00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:11,150 the seats in front of you. 225 00:11:11,410 --> 00:11:15,450 Damn! What was the other one? I just had it. Return your table and put your 226 00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:16,450 seatbelts... 227 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:32,880 All right. 228 00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:37,220 Hold my hand. 229 00:12:08,290 --> 00:12:10,150 So what brings you to Washington? 230 00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:11,670 A job, maybe. 231 00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:13,470 I got an audition across the street. 232 00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:15,550 Murphy Brown audition, take one. 233 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:20,290 Arvin Johns, executive producer of FYI. Frank Fontana. 234 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,250 Murphy Brown. 235 00:12:22,970 --> 00:12:27,810 So you're going up for one of these spots on FYI, huh? Right. You too? 236 00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:31,230 Yeah. I tell you, I'm kind of looking forward to it. I've never been on camera 237 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:32,230 before. No kidding. 238 00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:33,329 What's your background? 239 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,970 I'm a reporter for the New York Times. 240 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,800 Frankie! Frankie! 241 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,860 Where do you think you're going? 242 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,520 I'm going out. 243 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,560 And you don't say anything to anybody? 244 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,680 You just walk out the door and let us all think that you've been hit by a car 245 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,540 and you're lying dead in the gutter somewhere? 246 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,200 I was just going out, that's all. 247 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:53,980 Frankie, I told you, no stickball. It's a very dangerous game. I mean, you could 248 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,940 get hit in the face. You could lose an eye. Mom! 249 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,880 Officer Stice, can you tell us anything about the safety of the seven hostages? 250 00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:02,680 Well, they're okay, but the government won't release anyone unless we can make 251 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,920 statement to the media. I've got a clue. I can go in. Now, wait a minute. You 252 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,080 don't know what's going on here. Dan, stay close. Let's go. 253 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,100 Sullivan! 254 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,460 We have a reporter going in. 255 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:13,919 Where's your jacket? 256 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:14,920 It's freezing outside. 257 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:19,080 I spent good money on that jacket. You don't even wear it. I can't wear it. The 258 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,360 guys make fun of me. Why? 259 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,400 You said you wanted a leather jacket. I bought you a leather jacket. I said I 260 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:29,120 wanted a black leather jacket with metal studs and chains and zippers on the 261 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:33,860 sleeves. You bought me a brown leather jacket with buttons and fur on the 262 00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:34,860 collar. That's right. 263 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:38,820 I didn't go through 12 hours of labor to give birth to a son who dresses like a 264 00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,780 hoodlum. Frankie, I want you on me for the street lamps. Come on. 265 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,520 Frankie, you better stay away from that subway. 266 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:45,880 You hear me? 267 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,500 Oh, my God. 268 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,860 Oh. Oh, my God. 269 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,440 That Frankie? 270 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:54,840 What's he doing? 271 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,740 He's riding a bike. 272 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,500 Is he insane? 273 00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:17,380 Daddy? 274 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,100 I think that is me. 275 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,190 Daddy, look at this. 276 00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:24,350 I got a B -plus on my report about Khrushchev. 277 00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:26,470 B -plus. 278 00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,750 Should have been an A. 279 00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:36,790 Good, good, good. 280 00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:12,560 Frankie, what are you doing? 281 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,760 Nothing. Just riding. 282 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,240 You like me, don't you? 283 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:18,780 Don't make me laugh. 284 00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:21,040 I'll bet you want to kiss me. 285 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,660 I do not. 286 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,640 You know what? 287 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,200 Your mother bought me a bra yesterday. 288 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:32,560 Don't you want to kiss a woman? 289 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:41,719 You know what this means? 290 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,140 We're going study. I want to tell everybody at school. 291 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:47,380 Now you have to take me to the junior dance on Saturday. My father can bribe 292 00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:48,860 Oh, and wear that brown leather jacket. 293 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,220 I really love that. 294 00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:52,100 Hey, I gotta go. 295 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,060 Hey, where are you going? You better call me, Frankie. 296 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:56,900 Frankie! 297 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,880 Wow, 298 00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:07,380 Murphy. 299 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,520 You look beautiful. 300 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,019 They look ridiculous. 301 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,080 This dress is so stupid and everything itches. 302 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,300 Are those some nylon? 303 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,260 Brian, why are you acting like some space alien? 304 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,960 Listen, why don't we just forget about going to Lisa's birthday party and just 305 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,000 duck behind the garage and smoke? 306 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,040 She could go through my dad's camels. 307 00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:28,700 I sort of want to go to the party. 308 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,960 Lisa's parents took half of their furniture out of the rubbish room so we 309 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,220 dance. They have Johnny Mathis record. 310 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,950 Marv. I could be at a baseball game with my father right now. 311 00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,750 He was going to take me this time. 312 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,990 He always says he's going to. He never does. 313 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,250 But this time he was really going to take me. 314 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,130 What's in the box, Brian? 315 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,850 This? Oh, it's something I was going to give you later. 316 00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:53,510 Really? What is it? 317 00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,070 Here. 318 00:16:58,090 --> 00:16:59,090 A ring? 319 00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,010 What kind of ring is this? What does this mean? 320 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:04,490 It doesn't mean anything. 321 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,640 Yeah, it does. 322 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,440 It's a friendship ring. It means we're friends. 323 00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:11,180 No, special friends. 324 00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,420 That's all. 325 00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:15,800 And maybe in, say, 10 or 15 years, we'll get married. 326 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,640 Married? Brian, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm never getting married. 327 00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:22,720 I'm never having children. I'm never picking up anybody's socks or cooking 328 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,760 anybody's dinner or looking out the window and waiting for somebody to come 329 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,760 so I have someone to talk to. 330 00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:30,960 I guess I can accept that. 331 00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:34,000 But next time I kiss you, can I put my tongue in your mouth? 332 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,240 Yeah, okay. 333 00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:49,040 I met Jake at the Democratic 334 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,280 Convention in 68. 335 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,440 We were married and it didn't last two weekends. 336 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,080 But it was the most exciting time of my life. 337 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,460 I just don't know who to talk to, Dad. 338 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,320 I really like Teresa, but... 339 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:05,560 I don't think I love her. 340 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,160 What do you mean you don't love her? 341 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,620 You're engaged to her. I know, but I don't know how that happened. Everybody 342 00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,260 kept pushing me to do it. I'm 21 years old, Dad. 343 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,120 You're a man, Frankie. It's time to settle down and raise a family. That's 344 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,340 you're supposed to do. That's what I did. I'm not you. 345 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:25,160 All I know is I'm getting out of bed every night in a cold sweat and throwing 346 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,160 up. 347 00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:28,140 Oh, Frankie, Frankie. 348 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,720 You just got a case of cold feet, that's all. 349 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,080 It's perfectly normal to throw up. 350 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:36,210 I myself swore before I married your mother. 351 00:18:36,790 --> 00:18:41,910 I have known you five minutes already. I don't like you. I mean, it's very 352 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:44,170 possible we could both land this job today. 353 00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:46,030 We're both away from home. 354 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,250 We've got no one to celebrate with. 355 00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,890 Maybe we could have celebrated together. 356 00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:53,480 Nice restaurant, bottle of champagne. 357 00:18:53,980 --> 00:18:54,980 Now it's ruined. 358 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,580 You are trying to pick me up, aren't you? Of course I'm trying to pick you 359 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,660 It's a spontaneous thing that guys do. 360 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,980 It's a primal urge, like how we invented fire. 361 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,300 Doesn't necessarily have to mean anything. 362 00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:08,780 Don't waste your time, okay? Go try it in a disco. 363 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,080 I've never been to a disco. 364 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,960 Come on, you got Bee Gees written all over you. I hate the Bee Gees. Admit it, 365 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,000 you took hustle lessons. 366 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,400 And what do you listen to? Casey and the Sunshine Band? 367 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:28,840 a record made past 1968 oh yeah johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine 368 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,740 i'm on the pavement thinking about the government man in a trench coat badge 369 00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:36,500 laid off says he's got a bad cough wants to get it paid off look out kid it's 370 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:43,400 something you did god knows when but you're doing it again okay you pass 371 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,000 Mer? Where are we? 372 00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:18,760 I have no idea. 373 00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:23,340 Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me what's going on here? 374 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,900 It must be in New York, Frank. 375 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,660 Sir, whose funeral is this, sir? 376 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,600 Geez, what a bunch of stiffs. 377 00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:36,780 Oh, here we go. This might tell us something. 378 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,740 So long, Frank and Murphy. 379 00:20:45,889 --> 00:20:47,410 No. It can't be. 380 00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:49,670 Can it? 381 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:52,630 Bobby! Hi! 382 00:20:52,790 --> 00:20:53,790 It's me, Murphy! 383 00:20:54,650 --> 00:20:55,810 Lynn! Hi, Lynn! 384 00:20:56,010 --> 00:20:57,010 Right in front of you, Lynn. 385 00:20:58,510 --> 00:20:59,930 Marv! Marv! Hands up, Marv! 386 00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:01,790 Marv! Right over here, Marv! 387 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,010 Right over here! 388 00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:08,030 Frank? 389 00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:09,990 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 390 00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:13,110 Oh, come on. There's got to be some explanation. 391 00:21:14,719 --> 00:21:15,719 There it is, Frank. 392 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,320 We're dead. 393 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:21,640 Oh, man. 394 00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:26,940 I love you. 395 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,680 We're dead and we're here at our own funeral. 396 00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:37,060 Maybe it's just me, but I'm having a lot of trouble accepting this. I think it's 397 00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:38,060 normal, Murph. 398 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,760 You know, I don't see Barbara Walters here. 399 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:45,180 a real slap in the face. Isn't it not showing up at my funeral? 400 00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:48,360 She better have a real good excuse or I'm going to haunt her. 401 00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:51,580 I bet I'd be really good at that. 402 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,720 You know, I don't see Koppel here either. 403 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,140 Or Donaldson. Or any of the guys from my poker game. 404 00:21:58,580 --> 00:22:02,480 Sure, they come to my house, drink my beer, throw up in my yard, but do they 405 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,160 want to pay their last respects? No. 406 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,060 I say we start making a list, Frank. We should hit Donaldson's house tonight, 407 00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:11,400 walk around his attic, rattle some chains, give him one of these. 408 00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:13,100 Get out! 409 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,340 I don't know. So, what do you want to do? Do you want to hang back here, or do 410 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,820 you think we should mingle? 411 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,520 Oh, let's mingle. It's the polite thing to do. 412 00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:27,200 Such a tragedy. 413 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,980 They were so young. 414 00:22:32,260 --> 00:22:33,260 Hey. 415 00:22:34,580 --> 00:22:37,620 Look, there's Alan Dunn, our videotape editors. 416 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,520 Oh, poor guys. 417 00:22:40,190 --> 00:22:41,910 They were really attached to us. 418 00:22:42,190 --> 00:22:45,530 And can you believe how cold the bullets were in that last quarter? They 419 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:49,270 couldn't sink a lamp with a ladder. Are you telling me? I had 50 bucks on the 420 00:22:49,270 --> 00:22:50,310 game. 50 bucks! 421 00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:53,970 I don't want to talk about that. It's not what we're here for. Yeah. 422 00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:57,250 Hey, you ever get that transmission problem solved? 423 00:22:58,570 --> 00:23:00,370 I'm just going to fix it good enough to sell it. 424 00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:02,450 Let some other poor schmuck deal with it. 425 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,760 Sometimes guys talk about cars to hide their sorrow. Yeah, right. 426 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,320 Don and Al, voices in the closet. 427 00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:19,000 When do you think this service is going to start? 428 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,920 I don't know. But maybe we should go have a look at ourselves. 429 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,300 What? Are you serious? 430 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:27,260 Oh, come on, Frank. Aren't you just a little bit curious? Come on. I want to 431 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:30,600 if I look like I'm sleeping. This is sick. This is really sick. 432 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,200 Wait a minute. 433 00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:34,300 What's this? 434 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:36,920 There's only one casket here. 435 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:42,060 That means that one of us is in that vase. 436 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:47,180 It's an urn, Frank. Urn, vase, what's the difference? It's small, it's dark, 437 00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:48,180 I don't want to be in it. 438 00:23:48,780 --> 00:23:52,840 Go look in the casket. Maybe we're both in there. Maybe that's what they thought 439 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,140 we'd like, being best friends and all. 440 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,780 Come on, take a look. 441 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,960 Put it this way, Frank. 442 00:24:06,090 --> 00:24:07,150 I'm sleeping alone again. 443 00:24:09,150 --> 00:24:11,670 How did this happen? How did it happen? 444 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:13,310 Yes, it's just awful. 445 00:24:13,770 --> 00:24:14,770 Really awful. 446 00:24:15,550 --> 00:24:20,310 They say if Frank had taken the time to learn where the exits were... Don't 447 00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:24,350 blame this on me, Frank. I offered you the aisle seat, but no, you wanted to 448 00:24:24,350 --> 00:24:25,350 near the window. 449 00:24:25,370 --> 00:24:28,830 Isn't it strange how they found Murphy's hands around that stewardess's neck? 450 00:24:29,350 --> 00:24:31,750 You think you've got problems, Frank? Look at me. 451 00:24:32,110 --> 00:24:33,210 That doesn't look like me. 452 00:24:33,450 --> 00:24:35,810 Oh, what are you complaining about? At least you've got a face. 453 00:24:36,130 --> 00:24:38,210 It looks like Marilyn Quayle did my hair. 454 00:24:38,430 --> 00:24:39,510 And those clothes. 455 00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:41,830 That jacket doesn't go with that skirt. 456 00:24:42,830 --> 00:24:45,510 And the shoes are all wrong. Who dressed me? 457 00:24:46,070 --> 00:24:50,590 It was so difficult going through Murphy's closet trying to decide what 458 00:24:50,590 --> 00:24:52,890 should wear for her very last public appearance. 459 00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:55,730 I never really liked her sense of color. 460 00:24:55,950 --> 00:24:58,490 And she didn't seem to know how to hide her flaws. 461 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,400 I think the peplum jacket and the dickie work. 462 00:25:02,660 --> 00:25:06,140 What? I hate that dickie. I wouldn't be caught dead in one. 463 00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:09,280 And now, look, dead in a dickie. 464 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,840 What do you think I'm wearing in there, a smoking jacket? 465 00:25:15,820 --> 00:25:16,719 Take away. 466 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:17,579 Take away. 467 00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:19,780 Come on, watch your backs. Watch your backs. Coming through. 468 00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,020 Now what? 469 00:25:22,660 --> 00:25:26,780 Excuse me, I just brought some things from home I thought that she might want 470 00:25:26,780 --> 00:25:27,780 be buried with. 471 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,220 Oh, that's very nice. 472 00:25:29,420 --> 00:25:30,420 of you, Eldon. 473 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,580 Like this thing. 474 00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:41,800 I caught her sleeping with it once, so it must mean something. 475 00:25:45,380 --> 00:25:47,640 Bag of her favorite chocolate chip cookies. 476 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,520 A few extra pounds won't hurt her now. 477 00:25:59,470 --> 00:26:00,630 I don't know, in case you meet somebody. 478 00:26:08,530 --> 00:26:12,210 Oh, great. Nice outfit. A dickie and a garter belt. 479 00:26:12,510 --> 00:26:14,730 I'm going to look great at the orientation meeting. 480 00:26:16,410 --> 00:26:17,910 Whoa, what happened to this guy? 481 00:26:18,850 --> 00:26:19,809 I'm sorry. 482 00:26:19,810 --> 00:26:21,490 I didn't bring anything for you. 483 00:26:22,990 --> 00:26:25,130 All I got is this tic -tac. 484 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,960 This is not going well at all. This is not how I pictured my funeral. 485 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,140 And I thought Mary Hart would show up. She knows how I feel about her. 486 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,640 Okay, so she's married now, but I'm dead. I have no hands. How much of a 487 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:51,640 could I be? 488 00:26:51,940 --> 00:26:54,960 I know what you mean. I thought there'd be more outpouring of emotion. 489 00:26:55,300 --> 00:26:59,900 You know, the beating of breasts, the rending of garments, that kind of thing. 490 00:26:59,940 --> 00:27:01,120 This is very disappointing. 491 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:12,540 We're done with grief. 492 00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:14,820 Poor thing. 493 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:18,240 Look how he misses us. This is so heartbreaking. 494 00:27:19,180 --> 00:27:20,180 Oh, Miles. 495 00:27:20,980 --> 00:27:23,140 Try to hold yourself together, okay? 496 00:27:23,620 --> 00:27:24,720 Can you do that? 497 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,660 Do you think you'll be all right? 498 00:27:27,060 --> 00:27:28,060 I don't know. 499 00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:30,800 I never thought something like this could happen. 500 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,460 The valet just sideswiped my car. 501 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:46,720 any good if everyone will take their seats please we can begin the service 502 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:53,060 just go sit okay ladies and gentlemen i 503 00:27:53,060 --> 00:28:00,020 have been asked to lead this service today a dark day as we bid farewell to 504 00:28:00,020 --> 00:28:04,860 our friends and colleagues murphy brown and frank fontana 505 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,320 We had actually asked Walter Cronkite to lead the service, but he was unable to 506 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,320 reschedule a haircut. 507 00:28:13,020 --> 00:28:17,140 Don Hewitt, unfortunately, had tickets to Phantom of the Opera, which he had 508 00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:18,400 paid for three months ago. 509 00:28:18,820 --> 00:28:23,060 And Willard Scott was in Orlando celebrating the birthday of Mrs. Sylvia 510 00:28:23,060 --> 00:28:24,740 Clyman, who is 101 today. 511 00:28:27,420 --> 00:28:32,220 Before I begin the service, there are a few telegrams I would like to read to 512 00:28:32,220 --> 00:28:34,420 you from Dan Rather. 513 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,820 The world has lost a shining light, a person of great courage and integrity. 514 00:28:41,580 --> 00:28:45,000 Never again shall we see the likes of, insert dead person's name here. 515 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,840 Here's one from Diane Sawyer. 516 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,100 I thought I'd miss you, but I don't. 517 00:28:58,020 --> 00:28:59,560 I'm sure she meant that as a joke. 518 00:29:01,460 --> 00:29:03,540 Finally, this from Arlene Bartow. 519 00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:05,530 head of the network secretarial pool. 520 00:29:07,730 --> 00:29:09,150 Enough telegrams for now. 521 00:29:10,650 --> 00:29:17,090 You know, I had a very difficult time deciding what to say here today. 522 00:29:17,610 --> 00:29:23,310 And that was because I knew Murphy and Frank would never even want a funeral 523 00:29:23,310 --> 00:29:28,550 service. They would have been uncomfortable having all these people 524 00:29:28,550 --> 00:29:30,910 giving long, melancholy speeches. 525 00:29:31,610 --> 00:29:34,190 They really hated that sort of thing. What if it's our funeral? Come on! 526 00:29:34,410 --> 00:29:38,290 Murphy once told me she would never want a show of emotion. Yes, I would! 527 00:29:38,590 --> 00:29:41,630 Which is why, in her honor, I will not shed a tear. 528 00:29:41,970 --> 00:29:47,010 Cry, you son of a... Now, I know that there are people here who would like to 529 00:29:47,010 --> 00:29:49,650 say a few words, so I'm going to throw this open to the room. 530 00:29:50,710 --> 00:29:54,450 Just feel free to stand up and make some remarks, if you wish. 531 00:30:02,830 --> 00:30:07,070 The last time I saw Murphy and Frank was the day before yesterday. 532 00:30:08,310 --> 00:30:13,450 We were in a story meeting, and they were giving me a hard time, like they 533 00:30:13,450 --> 00:30:14,450 usually do. 534 00:30:15,650 --> 00:30:18,290 But on that day, I just exploded at them. 535 00:30:19,090 --> 00:30:20,970 I let them rearrange their flight plans. 536 00:30:21,790 --> 00:30:23,710 I told them I never wanted them to come back. 537 00:30:41,260 --> 00:30:43,320 the rest of my days working through this guilt. 538 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,860 I'll never have a decent night's sleep. 539 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:47,280 Ooh, ooh. 540 00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:54,360 I'll get another ulcer. 541 00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:56,900 I'll develop premature hair loss. 542 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,280 Oh, I'll marry, but I'll alienate my wife with tortured memories. 543 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:15,640 Kill myself. 544 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,740 I'd like to say something. 545 00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:22,120 Yes, go ahead, Phil. 546 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,300 All right, finally. Somebody's going to do justice to our memory. 547 00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:34,100 I just wanted to say that I 548 00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:37,000 really loved Murphy and Frank. 549 00:31:39,660 --> 00:31:43,580 And I hope that wherever they are, 550 00:31:44,910 --> 00:31:49,430 that they're happy and getting the big scoop. 551 00:31:49,770 --> 00:31:51,250 We love you too, Phil. 552 00:31:52,650 --> 00:31:58,670 I also wanted to say I don't know if this is the appropriate time, 553 00:31:58,830 --> 00:32:05,230 but Frank has an outstanding lunch tab of $47 .22. 554 00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:08,430 Now, who would be taking care of that? Would it be you, Miles? 555 00:32:10,210 --> 00:32:12,250 I'm sorry, Phil. That was a... 556 00:32:12,510 --> 00:32:14,250 Personal expense, and I can't approve it. 557 00:32:16,190 --> 00:32:20,650 Well, somebody has to pay it. I mean, I love the guy, but why should it come out 558 00:32:20,650 --> 00:32:24,690 of my pocket? Phil, Phil, maybe we should settle this later. 559 00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:25,910 Oh, sure. 560 00:32:25,970 --> 00:32:29,010 You'll run around. I can see the handwriting on the wall. 561 00:32:29,210 --> 00:32:31,030 Please, Phil, take your seat. 562 00:32:38,850 --> 00:32:41,190 No, before I conclude this service... 563 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,140 that anyone would like to say? 564 00:32:51,460 --> 00:32:52,460 Yes. 565 00:32:52,740 --> 00:32:57,060 Now that they're gone, does that mean that there are job openings? I'm the 11 566 00:32:57,060 --> 00:33:00,040 'clock anchor from the affiliate in Denver, and I brought a tape with me. 567 00:33:37,450 --> 00:33:39,090 I've never played that good before. 568 00:33:41,650 --> 00:33:42,650 It's over, Frank. 569 00:33:44,530 --> 00:33:45,530 I know. 570 00:33:46,550 --> 00:33:48,530 You know, I swore I'd never do this. 571 00:33:48,730 --> 00:33:52,910 I swore that when my time came, I'd never look back with regrets, but I 572 00:33:52,910 --> 00:33:53,789 help it. 573 00:33:53,790 --> 00:33:56,070 There are so many things I didn't get to do. 574 00:33:56,630 --> 00:34:00,390 I learned to speak Italian, read Moby Dick again. 575 00:34:01,260 --> 00:34:04,780 Clean out my hall closet. Oh, God, people are going to open that thing and 576 00:34:04,780 --> 00:34:06,100 that video of love story. 577 00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:10,840 Strange, isn't it? You always think you have all the time in the world. 578 00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:12,540 Someday, right. 579 00:34:15,460 --> 00:34:18,620 I used to talk to the married guys on the road. 580 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:24,480 I used to love to complain about the wife and kids, because that's what 581 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:29,199 supposed to do when you're a reporter in some hotel bar in Panama or Tehran or 582 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:30,199 Detroit. 583 00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:32,989 They said they envied me. 584 00:34:33,590 --> 00:34:40,210 Then they'd all go home to their families and have dinners together and 585 00:34:40,210 --> 00:34:44,190 go to PTA meetings and wash the dog in the yard. 586 00:34:45,469 --> 00:34:49,429 And I always thought, well, someday. 587 00:34:52,350 --> 00:34:53,850 I work too hard. 588 00:34:54,310 --> 00:34:55,670 Why did I do that? 589 00:34:56,350 --> 00:34:58,570 Why couldn't I just learn to putter? 590 00:34:59,310 --> 00:35:02,730 You know, just putter around the house like other people seem to do. I never 591 00:35:02,730 --> 00:35:04,030 could get the hang of that. 592 00:35:04,250 --> 00:35:07,950 Oh, we wanted to leave our indelible mark. We wanted to go down in history. 593 00:35:08,450 --> 00:35:10,670 Now look, our funeral's over. 594 00:35:10,970 --> 00:35:12,730 People are at Phil's having a beer. 595 00:35:13,590 --> 00:35:15,650 Tomorrow morning, the sun will come up. 596 00:35:16,090 --> 00:35:17,210 People will go to work. 597 00:35:18,050 --> 00:35:20,310 Life will go on just fine without us. 598 00:35:20,510 --> 00:35:23,290 Now wait a minute, Murph. We weren't like everybody else. 599 00:35:24,010 --> 00:35:25,870 We were different. We were special. 600 00:36:05,550 --> 00:36:06,790 trying to tell us something. 601 00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:09,750 Life is a blip on a radar screen. 602 00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:13,770 You know, you are a real downer. Are you going to be like this for the rest of 603 00:36:13,770 --> 00:36:16,450 eternity? Because if you are, I'm going to have to find somebody else to hang 604 00:36:16,450 --> 00:36:17,450 out with. 605 00:36:17,530 --> 00:36:22,610 All I'm saying is, is that if I had it to do over again, maybe I would have 606 00:36:22,610 --> 00:36:24,310 gotten off my high horse a little bit. 607 00:36:25,030 --> 00:36:27,830 Maybe I wouldn't have bulldozed my way through everything. 608 00:36:29,100 --> 00:36:32,520 Maybe I wouldn't have let the air out of Spiro Agnew's tires. 609 00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:35,040 Man, I still would have done that. 610 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:39,780 No point in talking about it now. 611 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,760 Can't go back and rewrite history. 612 00:36:44,620 --> 00:36:46,400 Come on, let's get out of here. 613 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:48,600 Good idea, Frank. 614 00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:51,660 And where exactly are we supposed to go? 615 00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:54,080 Well, I don't know. I've never been dead before. 616 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,860 Maybe they've got some... Kind of check -in counter or something. 617 00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,100 Frank, can I tell you something? 618 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,340 I'm really glad we're pals. 619 00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:20,400 You're the best friend I've ever had. 620 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,320 or something? Shh. I think it's the engine. 621 00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:33,500 I think we're leveling off. 622 00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:35,500 Oh, please, please, oh, please. 623 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,700 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to tell you that we've regained engine 624 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:45,300 I'll be radioing ahead to Chicago to clear us for a priority landing. 625 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,900 We'll get you folks onto another plane and you'll be on your way. 626 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,760 I hope this little incident won't keep you from flying our airline again. 627 00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:55,700 There'll be no charge for the headsets. 628 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,300 Tell me about it. 629 00:38:04,060 --> 00:38:09,520 I would have to say that that is the closest I have ever come. 630 00:38:10,180 --> 00:38:11,180 Me too. 631 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:18,880 Say, Frank, what were you thinking about a few nights ago? 632 00:38:23,060 --> 00:38:24,060 Nothing. 633 00:38:26,260 --> 00:38:27,980 How about you? 634 00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:39,350 Actually, I was thinking about something. 635 00:38:41,250 --> 00:38:43,730 I was thinking that I should take my dad fishing. 636 00:38:45,610 --> 00:38:47,150 Funny what pops into your head. 637 00:38:48,310 --> 00:38:49,310 Yeah. 638 00:38:51,310 --> 00:38:53,230 How long do you think it would take to learn Italian? 639 00:38:55,010 --> 00:38:57,990 For you, three, maybe four hours. 640 00:39:00,030 --> 00:39:03,610 Frank, I really owe you an apology. 641 00:39:04,940 --> 00:39:10,520 I don't usually yell at the passengers, but we appear to be crashing, and all of 642 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,440 a sudden I looked at you, and I saw the kind of guy who stands up in the aisle 643 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,520 to take his things out of the overhead compartment before the plane has come to 644 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,300 a full and complete stop. That really ticks me off. 645 00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:22,540 But I'm okay now. 646 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:24,640 I'm sorry. 647 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,500 Oh, don't worry about it. It's forgotten. 648 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:29,640 Thanks. 649 00:39:31,060 --> 00:39:32,060 Hey, Vicki? 650 00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:36,980 The next time you're in Washington, would it be okay if I took you to 651 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,200 I'd like that. 652 00:39:40,700 --> 00:39:41,700 One other thing. 653 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:46,560 How do you feel about marriage, kids, and dogs? 654 00:39:48,940 --> 00:39:50,840 I'm not ready. I'm not ready. 655 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:52,280 And I'm allergic. 656 00:40:03,530 --> 00:40:05,030 Some piece of work, Frank. 657 00:40:05,350 --> 00:40:06,350 I know. 658 00:40:08,190 --> 00:40:12,130 So, Frank, what do you say we fritter away some time? I got a deck of cards 659 00:40:12,130 --> 00:40:13,130 here. You're on. 660 00:40:14,110 --> 00:40:17,710 Although, we're going to be landing in a few minutes. Maybe I should finish 661 00:40:17,710 --> 00:40:18,790 those interview questions. 662 00:40:21,630 --> 00:40:22,630 Nah. 663 00:40:23,350 --> 00:40:24,350 Let's fritter. 664 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,860 They're actually two families, but they're really one big happy family. 665 00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:41,940 Most of the time. 666 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:45,680 Watch Who's the Boss every night on Nick at Night. 55252

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