All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s03e16_the_novel

Not me!

coffee machine.

Brock Wilder sat gazing at his captors,
knowing full well if he divulged the

information, his life would be valueless
to them. Someone's discard note out.

I'll take it. I'm closer to the trash.
Maybe this is important.

Did anybody lose this?

Brock Wilder sat gazing at his captors,
knowing full well... Oh, good heavens,

Frank, it's mine.

What is it?

Something I've been working on, that's
all.

A novel.

A novel? You wrote a...

Stop it, Frank.

I just started writing it as a lark,
something to fill up my free time. Well,

what's it about? Who's this Brock Wilder
guy?

He's a CIA agent caught up in foiling an
attempt by terrorists to seize control

of nuclear arms. May I have that, Frank?
Tall, lengthy, a man of few words.

Brock would not let his facial
expression betray the emotions churning

him.

Gee, now who does that sound like?
Please, Frank.

I'm not quite ready to show it around.

I finished it last night and I came to
the office to make a copy for Doris. Oh,

sure. You'll let your wife read it, but
not me. Your friend.

Someone once shared with you a poem he
wrote for Darlene in research.

A very personal poem.

You showed it to me because you needed a
word that rhymed with stamina.

Let me read it. I'm already hooked.

Please.

Oh, all right, Frank. You can read it.
Read it.

Did you get that memo Miles sent about
the annual sponsors meeting? Yes. Looks

like it's our turn to make the keynote
address.

I have time to work on it tonight, if
you're free. It's a date. My shirt,

Thanks. Jim wrote a novel. Oh, repeat.
He wrote a novel? Jim, get out of here.

How come you never mentioned it?

Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure it's very
good. I just finished it. It needs

polishing. Say no more. Writing a novel
must be a very private thing. But when

you're ready to have your friends read
it, I'd be honored to. Thank you for

understanding, Murphy. Hey, Murph.

It's about the CIA agent Brock Wilder.
Kind of the strong, silent type.

Oh. You let Frank read it? He offered to
give me his opinion. Counting Doris,

that makes two. I wouldn't be
comfortable showing it to more people

right now. I hope you understand.

Of course I do. I understand perfectly.

Hey, you know what I'm thinking now?

That time you checked me into the Betty
Ford Center and I told you about my

deepest fears of failure, which I guess
is nothing compared to the time Frank

gave you the name of a good car wash.
But if you prefer Frank to me... Are you

going to make me guilt -ridden and
miserable until I show it to you? You

All right, you can read it.

Read what?

Jim's written a novel, but he's really
not ready to show it yet. He said we

could read it.

We can!

book, The Story of a White House Dog.

I'll make copies for each of you, but
please don't mention it to anyone else.

Morning,

people. Oh, all right, Miles.

There'll be a copy on your desk tonight.

Oh, hi, Frank. Hey, did you watch the
Bullets play last night? Bernard King

playing like a Hall of Famer. What are
you doing?

Just looking at your hair.

Dear smoky blonde shoulder -length
treasures, you smell like the warm

nights of lost youth.

And I want to look at those legs that go
on endlessly and look as though they've

been carved on a lathe in heaven.

What are you talking about?

Jim's novel.

Did you read it? Oh, yeah.

Geez, all that intrigue and sex.

I didn't know Jim had it in him. The
writing wasn't bad, although I

Hey, I'm not looking for a literary
review here. I'm talking about the woman

Jim's character meets skin diving in
Rio.

The foreign correspondent named Monique.
The one he has the hot, passionate

affair with.

It's you.

What? Oh, come on.

Don't tell me you didn't notice.

Monique is a successful, outspoken
journalist with a fiery temper who

plays to win.

Frank, you've been starting up your car
with the garage door closed again.

I just think it's interesting that all
these years, Jim has had a secret

attraction towards you, and I missed it.

Hey, Murph, what about that elevator
scene? I never thought two people could

actually make it.

Hi. Oh, hi, Miles. You're just in time.
Frank's gone insane. Let's watch.

This isn't a social call.

I have something important to discuss
with you, Monique.

Murphy, I see the potential for a
certain amount of awkwardness that could

disrupt the synergistic balance among
certain people who must work here

together, side by side, day after day.

So I hope no one would do anything to
encourage anything or anything.

Am I making myself clear? No! What kind
of language is that? Encourage what?

Goings on and such.

I read the elevator scene.

Look, you guys, you're just reading
things into this that simply aren't

But if you don't believe me, why don't
you go talk to Jim about it? Talk to Jim

about something as personal as this?

You've got to be kidding me. That'd be
like talking to my father about sex.

Look, Jim's obviously had certain
thoughts about you buried in the back of

head. Only now they've come to the front
of his head and out of his hand and

onto paper. If we don't get this thing
in the butt, something bad is going to

happen. I'm not going to listen to this
anymore. You know, you guys are both

crazy.

The Walk.

Did everyone have a pleasant evening
last night? Anything of interest or note

occupy your time? Jim, I just want to
say I read your novel, and I'm seeing

name right at the top of the bestseller
list. Did you really like it, Murphy?

I'm so glad.

Did anyone else read it?

We liked it. Oh,

Jim! I just finished reading your book,
and it was really, really good.

Why, thank you, Corky. I'm very
flattered. But there's something I want

you about the blonde woman, the one
Brock has the affair with in the

the aggressive, overbearing, pushy one
who always steps all over people to get

what she wants. Yes?

Did you realize you were writing about
Murphy at the time, or was it just an

accident?

Murphy? You think Monique is Murphy?

That's preposterous. Ha! I told you.

So you two also thought, oh, this is
rich.

How could any rational person entertain
such a notion?

Hello, everyone.

Doris. Doris, Doris, Doris. It's Doris.

How lovely to see you here. I didn't
expect a visit from you, but it's always

welcomed, always.

Well, actually, I stopped by to see
Murphy. Murphy? Murphy? Murphy? Murphy?

I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to
have lunch with me today. It's been so

long since we've done that.

Actually, I promised some orphans I'd
take them. I really want to do this,

Murphy. I really want to have lunch.

Okay. After all, it is the second most
important meal of the day.

How about Phil's at one? Oh, good.

That'll give me time to run a few
errands.

Well, good seeing all of you.

Goodbye, dear.

Murphy, see you at one.

So pleased you were able to break away
so the two old friends might have lunch

together. Me too.

So how about these two old friends go
take a table? Lead the way, old friend.

So, see, I had some luck at the shopping
game.

Oh, yes, there are some lovely shops on
Connecticut Avenue.

I found a luggage store that I know Jim
would like.

Although he certainly isn't on the road
as much as he was when we were first

married 30 years ago.

A different person might have worried
about her husband being gone so much,

not me.

Of course, some woman might cast her
spell over him and draw that sweet,

unsuspecting man into her clutches.

But I know I could invite that woman,
whoever she is, to the hardware store

that's next to the luggage store and put
her head in a vice.

I think I'll have the chef's salad.

Doris, I know what this is about, and
all I can say is...

Monique is just a character that Jim
made up.

Impossible. Jim simply does not have
that kind of an imagination.

A man who owns 17 pairs of brown socks
does not suddenly wake up one morning

think, now there's something I'd like to
try in an elevator.

Doris, I want you to listen to me
because I value our friendship very,

much. Now, there are things I'll never
know about Jim that you do, and there

things I know about Jim that you never
will.

I know how he taps his knee under the
anchor deck three times for luck before

every broadcast.

And I know that he didn't want anyone to
see he cried when we did our piece on

Vietnam veterans.

I know he always orders lemon shrimp and
fried rice from Woe Pigs on show night.

And I know something else. I know Jim
Dial loves Doris Dial very much.

And he loves me, too, as a friend.

The Jim we both know isn't going to
jeopardize either of these

I feel more than a little foolish.

Like some jealous housewife.

Murphy, I... I don't need to apologize.

Hello there.

Jim.

Hello, Jim.

And I'm happy to see you too, Doris.

Ah, you've done some shopping.

What have we here?

Oh, good heavens.

Oh, here you are, having lunch.

Jim, everything is fine.

It's fine, dear.

Fine? Well, I knew it would be. I was
just passing by because I wanted the

pleasure of seeing your lovely face in
the middle of the afternoon.

But I've seen it now, so I'll just be on
my way.

Oh, Jim, what time can I expect you home
tonight?

Oh, you shouldn't wait up. Murphy and I
have to finish a project together, and

it could go pretty late.

I see.

Well, don't work too hard, dear.

And, Murphy, after lunch, perhaps we'll
stroll by that hardware store, just so

you know where it is.

Now, why don't we open with that
demographic chart of our audience, and

sponsors will know who's seeing our ads.

Sorry. My fault. Go ahead.

I don't know, Jim. I'm not sure if we
should start with a lot of facts and

figures.

It'd be better to end with this one.

That's an interesting point. Maybe we
should just begin by talking about the

great tradition of legs in broadcasting.

FYI has great staying power, thus the
use of the term legs, meaning, you know,

to still be there while others have long
ago tried to kill themselves.

I know what you meant, Jim. What else
could you have possibly meant?

I'm just going to go get a cup of sex.
Coffee!

Look, all the information we need is
here. We'll just put this after this.

Go here, go there.

What's this part? I can't read this one.

It's the quarterly report of incremental
ratings expansion. You'll read it

across like so.

Jim, did you just smell my hair?

Oh, dear Lord, no. I was merely clearing
some dust from my nasal passages.

Would you like to go to Phil's? Yes.

It'll be good to see Phil.

Very good to see Phil.

He's much better on a full stomach.

Can I have a large lunch?

Cookie!

Oh, hi!

I know you two are busy, but I thought I
could just tit -toe in for a fresh cup

of coffee. Oh, you did? Well, now my
train of thought is shot to hell.

Blasted, I can't work like this.

Enjoy your evening.

Oh, my God, it's Murphy.

What's Murphy? Monique. Monique is
Murphy, and Murphy is Monique. Oh, geez.

was right. You wrote about Murphy. I
don't want to hear anymore.

Okay, what happened?

There I was in the office with good old
Murphy.

Suddenly, she began to look different to
me.

And I found myself with certain
healings. And?

I smelled her hair. Oh, God, no.

That's it. Starting tomorrow, nobody
writes anything down, and all the women

wearing hairnets. Okay.

Looking at women and thinking about
women is perfectly normal.

Even if it's Murphy. What do you say,
Frank? You walk around fantasizing about

every woman in the office?

Well, yeah.

It doesn't mean anything. It's like when
I first met Murph. I tried to pick her

up. Then she opened her mouth and it
pretty much killed the fantasy format.

Jim, the important thing to remember
here is that this is not going to change

your relationship with Murphy at all.
It's just a little game between the ears

that men get to play.

Miles, has this ever happened to you?

Well, remember the time Murphy chewed me
out in front of the crew for not

approving her travel expenses?

That night, I dreamed we were on
American Gladiators.

He was wearing my bathrobe and beating
me with a pugil stick.

I liked it.

And you're worried?

Don't you see the situation is different
with me? I put my thoughts about Murphy

in print.

Men, we're nothing but animals.

Can any women sit around and talk about
us this way? Are you kidding? It's not

in their nature.

And on a scale of one to ten, I'd give
Frank's butt a seven.

When I first met Frank, he tried to pick
me up. He was kind of cute, but he was

wearing pants that were baggy in his
seat. That pretty much killed it for me.

Do you think Jim has hair on his chest?
It seems right.

Oh, God, Jim.

Okay, let's quit stalling. I know
there's a way to handle this. I just

knew what it was.

Well, Murphy, it's so obvious.

He clearly wants you. You have to get
that fantasy right out of his head.

I didn't ask for this. Men have always
been attracted to me. It's a curse.

Murphy, let's deal with one fantasy at a
time.

Now, you respect him, but he's a man.

He has no control over himself.

You're a woman.

It's your responsibility to try to heal
the relationship.

Otherwise, you're never going to be able
to face him. I know. We're supposed to

work together tomorrow night. How am I
going to do that? What am I going to say

to him?

Hey, Jim, pass me a pencil and try to
ignore my ripe, inviting lips that make

man want to forget his own name.

Murphy, you'll talk about this problem.
You have to get it out in the open.

Confront him.

Discuss it. It's the only way.

Now, remember, Jim, avoidance is always
the answer.

She'll probably try to get you to talk.
Women always do that. But be a basic.

Keep moving. Don't let her pin you down
on anything. Work talk only, Jim. No

chit -chat. Chit -chat is death.

Uh, Jim, before we get to work, we have
to talk about something. Oh, hey, Lane,

gotta go.

Murphy, I really don't think there's
time to talk. We've, uh, got a lot of

ahead of us. Really a lot, and an
incredible amount.

Jim, what I have to say can't wait.

I'm telling you, we have too much to do.

Let's order dinner. How about wolf
pings? I like the lemon shrimp.

Jim, you want me, and we have to talk
about it.

And the fried rice is good. I think I'll
have that.

Jim. We can't just ignore what's going
on between us. We have to talk about it

because it's not going to just go away.

Now, I think you have a little crush on
me.

I think you'll feel better if you admit
it. No.

Jim, I want you to look at me.

Come on.

Look at me.

Jim,

please. You know how important this is.

Now, come on.

Look at me.

And tell me what's going through your
mind.

Good.

Good. Now, what are you thinking?

I was thinking how attractive those
glasses look on you.

Well, thank you.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Now, let's go a little deeper.

In fact, why don't I start?

You know, once I was sitting next to you
at the anchor desk, and just for a

flash, I wondered what kind of underwear
you were wearing.

Really? Yes, I did.

You see, once you get these things out
in the open, it seems sort of silly,

doesn't it?

Yes, I guess it does.

Now it's your turn.

Have you ever imagined anything about
me?

Well, actually... Come on, I know this
is hard.

I was... Just now, thinking about
something.

Yes, go on.

About you and me. Right.

Making wild, crazy love in this chair.

Or maybe on the Xerox machine.

Ernie, the janitor, is in the next room.

Okay, this has been very helpful. Now,
why don't we get back to work?

Oh, Gerard, what was I saying?

Where did that come from?

There's too much talking here. Let's get
back to work. No, no, no, no.

There's no going back now. Murphy.

We have to work this out. We have to
talk this through.

No, no, no. We just ignore it. It'll go
away.

I've obviously been carrying around a
lot of very strong feeling for you.

Buried so deep I wasn't even aware I had
it.

When did it start?

Probably in Rome when we found that
little cafe when we were researching the

Vatican Bank scandal.

Remember that?

Rome? Little cafe?

Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.

I remember it so vividly.

I watched the way you ate your pasta
primavera with such passion.

Then we walked outside into the hard
rain, your hair

all wet and tousled.

Then you got into a fight with that cab
driver.

Oh, yeah.

He tried to overcharge us. I got out of
the cab and cracked his headlights with

my umbrella.

Oh, that was fun.

Fun?

The man was only slightly smaller than a
refrigerator.

He punched me. My nose was bleeding all
over my new custom -made shirt. You have

a way of antagonizing people, Murphy.

Every time we travel, I have to defend
you every five minutes. Imagine an

life like that.

It could be exciting.

The blood always racing, like that time
in Paris. What time in Paris?

We had just finished our story on
Mitterrand. We were exhilarated. We went

that little cinema to see Après Amour.

I remember.

Sitting there in the dark with you, the
smell of your perfume enveloped me.

Then you started yelling things at the
screen.

Hey, the pictures stink, okay? A bunch
of people smearing each other with brie

isn't my idea of good storytelling.

I had to get out of there.

Oh, yes, I remember you driving us back
to the hotel. My whole life flashed

before me. We're going through traffic,
driving up on the sidewalk in front of

the Louvre. Men don't like that, Murphy.

That and you're never letting people
finish a sentence when they're in the...

That's not true.

You see?

God, you and me.

I could just see myself in ten years
talking to strangers in the park just to

hear the sound of my own voice once in a
while.

And I could forget about buying
furniture I like.

Maybe if I were lucky, I could keep one
of my Peggy Lee albums.

God, what was I thinking? I must have
been insane.

Lord, I'm feeling much better.

Like some awful fever has broken.

You were right, Murphy.

I'm so glad we talked. Aren't you?

Oh, yeah.

I feel really great about myself now.

Maybe I'll just top off the night by
trying on a bathing suit under

light.

Now that that's settled, let's finish
this up so I can get back to work on my

novel. Your novel? Wait a minute. Isn't
that how all this trouble started?

Oh, don't worry, Murphy. It's just a
little rewrite.

Monique is going to be a lovely and, I
hope, forgiving redhead that Brock's

married to for 30 years.

I like it.

I like it a lot.

Thank you, Murphy.

It's so nice to know I can count on you
even after I've made a complete ass of

myself.

Hey, you've always been there for me.

I love you, Jim.

I love you, Murphy.

So, should we get some work done,
Slugger?

By the way, Miles told me something at
Phil's last night about a dream he had.

You were in it, and, well, you may want
to have this same conversation with him.