All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s03e15_hoarse_play

But like a heart.

collection. She already bit the head off
of Mary Todd Lincoln.

I don't understand, Corky. Why is Murphy
using the phone in your office?

Excuse me?

Could somebody please explain how a 120
-pound woman could destroy a phone

that's been tested under 3 ,000 pounds
of pressure?

What does she do? Take it out of the
parking lot? Drive a car over it? Oh,

I'm sorry, Pete. I guess Murphy's having
a rough day. Yeah, well, I'm running

out of phones. That woman needs her hold
button popped.

If you know what I mean.

Morning, Pete.

Oh, I see she got another one. Poor
little fella never had a chance.

Hey, guys, is Pete still here? I had a
little accident.

All right, that's it.

Miles, I want a deadbolt on my door by
noon.

Murphy, this has got to stop.

Building services says the next time it
happens, they're going to make you use

the pay phone in the lobby. Is that what
you want? You're right, Miles. I

shouldn't get so excited. So what if my
story on the education crisis is in the

toilet?

What do you mean it's in the toilet? We
screened the rough cut two days ago and

we all thought it looked great.

Well, I don't. That's why I'm trying to
reach President Bush. I need to confront

the education president on camera and
then we'll have a story. But the White

House keeps giving me the runaround.

Murphy, are you sure you're not letting
your ego get the better of you here?

Oh, please, Jim. Since when has my ego
ever been a problem?

Murphy.

If you really think you need a statement
from Bush, why don't you just go to the

president's press conference on Friday?

You won't get an interview, but at least
you'll get a quote.

Good one, Miles. Very good. You're
right, Merv. Go to the press conference.

What? What's the big joke?

How come I'm the only one who doesn't
get it?

Don't feel stupid, Miles. I don't get it
either.

Oh, good. That makes me feel much
better.

Just see who has the last laugh. I'm
calling the White House for a press pass

right now. Yeah, right.

They're never going to let you in. Of
course they'll let her in. Why wouldn't

they let her in? Because she was banned
from White House press conferences ten

years ago. What was the official reason?

Malicious mischief with intent to
inflict bodily harm, wasn't it?

Oh, come on, Jim. That was a totally
trumped -up charge, and you know it.

Press credentials, this is Murphy Brown.

I need a pass for Friday.

Yeah, I'll hold. Bodily harm?

What did you do?

Every time I asked Reagan a tough
question, he'd do that little hand -to

-ear thing like a helicopter was landing
in the press room. Then he'd give me

that aw, shucks grin and move on to the
next reporter. I had to do something.

Yeah, right. When Reagan ignored her
again, she asked him that Grecian

question.

The man actually stopped breathing for a
minute.

When the Secret Service came after her,
she tried to create a diversion by

yelling that Helen Thomas had a gun in
her purse.

Okay, I admit I went a little overboard,
but it's a different administration.

I'm sure they've forgotten all about
that.

Yeah. Yeah, this is she.

Oh, come on. That was ten years ago, you
bunch of elephants. Don't you forget

anything.

Oh, forget it, Murph. It's no big deal
until you don't have a quote. I saw the

piece. It's terrific just the way it is.
What's the matter, Frank? You don't

think I can get in?

And who took only 15 minutes to get us
two fabulous seats to tonight's sold

Aretha Franklin concert? Murph, a
presidential press conference is a

harder to get into than an Aretha
Franklin concert. Well, it shouldn't be.

man can't sing Respect to save his life.

I am telling you, you're never going to
get in.

Okay, Frank, you want to make a bet? Put
your money where your mouth is.

Ten bucks. Ten bucks says you can't do
it. Ten bucks? You call that a bet?

Okay, 20.

50. Please.

Murphy. Frank.

This is childish.

A hundred dollars. That's a man's bet.

Okay, you're on.

All right, who else wants to lose some
money?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I want this stopped right now.

We should be supporting each other, not
placing wagers on whether one of us

succeeds or fails.

Five to one says you can't do it. Sorry,
Murphy.

Baby needs a new pair of pumps.

Hey, I mean it. I mean it.

This story is my number one concern
right now.

Now, Murphy, are you sure you can get
in?

Not only will I get in, I'm going to get
a quote, and then, just for a little

thrill, I'm going to leave a kick -me
sign on John Sununu's butt.

Good. Now that that's taken care of,
let's make some easy money!

Thirty bucks if she gets in!

Hey, I want you to get me a list of
everyone in the White House press office

who's been married for more than seven
years, and let me know if any of them

have joined a gym recently.

What do you want to know that for?

You show me a guy who's joined a gym
after seven years of marriage, and I'll

show you a guy who's found a new reason
to keep in shape. And when I find out

her name, I found my way in.

Ooh, I taste victory.

All right, all right, all right, calm
down.

I'm having a hard time understanding
you.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Okay, I'll give it to her as soon as she
gets in.

No! thank you.

Yes!

Jimbo Corkster! How deep are those
pockets today? Because you're going to

digging all the way to the bottom. It's
payoff time.

What are you talking about, Miles? I'm
talking about the press conference. The

press conference that your colleague and
mine, Murphy Brown, has just been

cleared to attend.

I don't believe it. How did this happen?
Some guy from the press office just

told me there's a pass waiting for
Murphy at the door. And to make sure she

knows that he's going to stop seeing
Debbie right after the weekend.

So pay up, guys!

Well, all right.

But this is a dubious achievement,
Miles. The woman blackmailed her way in.

besides, it doesn't mean she'll get to
ask Bush a question. Are you doubting

her, Murphy?

Of course she'll get to ask him a
question. In fact, I'm willing to put

it. What about you?

Double or nothing.

Baby could also use a great big bottle
of Chanel.

You're on.

Oh, look who's here.

That's right, you owe me many dollars.
Murphy got into the press conference.

What? Do not despair.

I'm willing to make you an offer.

Certain people who shall remain nameless
doubt whether Murphy will get to ask

Bush a question.

Double or nothing says she will.

Double or nothing, huh? That she gets to
ask Bush a question. I don't know, I

don't know. It sounds kind of risky to
me, but okay. Okay, you are on. Kiss

money goodbye, Frank, and
congratulations, Murphy. How does it

in the White House? It feels great,
Miles.

Why are you talking like that?

Why is she talking like that? Well,
somebody got a little excited at

concert last night.

She was singing so loud, she threw off
the band.

Isn't that right, Murph?

It's no big deal. I just drained my
voice a little. It's not that bad.

Not that bad?

The press conference is in two days. How
are you going to ask Bush a question

with a lawnmower in your throat?

You knew, Frank.

You knew and you doubled the bet.

Just wait till I find the new parking
spaces. You're going to be so far away,

you're going to need a passport to get
to work.

Don't you think you're blowing this out
of proportion?

Come on, everybody.

Let's go buy a lottery ticket. I feel
lucky. Yeah.

Murphy, I can't believe you did this.
I'm going to call a doctor right now.

No.

No, I'll be fine in a couple of hours.

Miss Brum?

I'm so sorry I'm late. I'm Claude
Phelps, your new secretary.

Hello, Claude. Nice to meet you.

That's your desk.

Let me know if you need anything.

All right.

I need you to punish me.

What?

I've been a bad boy.

A very bad boy. I was late. I should be
punished.

Look, I really don't have time for this.

Oh, I get it.

You're making me wait for it.

Good, good. I like that.

Owen, that thing you're doing with your
voice, that's very exciting.

That's it.

Call a doctor.

You're whistling.

That's good.

Means it isn't serious, right? If it
were serious, you wouldn't be whistling.

So you're obviously not concerned about
those little red bumps back there.

You do see them, don't you? Right back
there?

Right underneath that little hanging
thing? Hey, hey, hey.

Do you want me to give you a shot?

I have needles in my bag.

You're right, you're right. I'll get out
of your way.

Geez, I hope you don't bring this guy
along when you come in for your pap

Okay, Murphy.

Shut your mouth.

Boy, do I enjoy saying that.

Money, Elliot. You must be a riot.

You always have to have the last word,
don't you? Well, now it's my turn. You

have a severe inflammation of the vocal
cords, and every time you speak, you

aggravate the condition.

How long is she going to be like this?

Unfortunately for us, only a few days.

A few days? You don't know what you're
talking about. The man doesn't even have

a license. He's got a big picture of a
duck over his desk.

Keep it up, Murphy. The more you talk,
the longer it's going to last. Dr.

Bishop. Murphy has to be at a press
conference in two days. Isn't there

you can give her? Aside from a muzzle?

Look, what she really needs is to give
those cords time to heal. That means for

the next 48 hours, she can't say a word.

Nothing. Nada.

Zero.

Zip. Zip.

You know, I haven't had this much fun
since I figured out how to write off my

sailboat as medical equipment.

Bye.

Come back here, you horse doctor.

Why don't you just spay me while you're
at it?

What are you doing?

Didn't you just hear what the man said?
No talking.

I thought you really wanted that quote,
right?

There's a lot riding on this.

That's more like it.

I want you to do everything that doctor
says.

You think you can handle that?

Okay.

Let's go out there and tell everybody
what's going on.

Oh, Miss Brown, you remember that letter
you asked me to type? Well, it

completely flipped my mind.

Isn't that awful?

I've been so naughty.

For me!

People, I'd like to make an
announcement.

Murphy has an inflammation of the vocal
cords, and the doctor has ordered her

not to speak.

for the next 48 hours.

Thank you, but next time wait till I'm a
little closer. I still have some

hearing left in one ear.

Hello? Can I help you?

Yeah, this is her house.

No, she can't talk right now. She blew
her voice out a couple days ago. Who can

I say is calling?

Joel Jordan from the Presidential
Committee on Education?

Well, Joel, congratulations.

That certainly got a reaction out of
her.

So, you're working on education, huh?

Maybe you can answer a question for me.

What was the point of Tetherball? What
were we supposed to learn from that?

Ah, she's ready.

Okay. The lady needs to know the results
of the national education survey that

you've been conducting.

Okay, Joel.

All right, he says you're going to have
to wait. The result's coming out next

week. No, she's not very happy about
that.

Uh -huh. No, she doesn't have a lot of
patience.

No, I'm not her husband. What a horrible
thought.

Huh?

Uh -huh.

All right.

Ah, a bulletin.

Okay, just give me something.

You will be...

Any mouse. What's that? I don't know
what that means.

Anonymous. Well, thank you very much.
Now, I don't like a fool telling the man

it'll be any mouse.

Yeah.

Yeah, Joe, I'm still here.

I'm still here.

The answer's still no.

Oh, great. Now she's mad she's going to
take it out on me.

Huh?

No, Joe, yes, Joe, I realize that that's
not your problem, but there's no reason

to get all snippy about it.

Joe?

Joel, may I tell you something in
confidence?

Are you listening, Joel?

You see what you made me do? And the
Bernikes were never a violent people.

I'll get that, and if it's a Jehovah's
Witness, I'm just going to stand there

and listen. That's how bad I feel.

Hi, Eldon. Yeah, yeah. How's Murphy?

She hasn't said anything today, has she?
Not a word, but don't let it fool you.

It's not as pleasant an experience as
one might think.

Good luck.

Hey there, Murphy. How's it going?

Come on.

You're not still mad at me for sending
you home yesterday, are you?

I just couldn't let you keep firing off
that starter's pistol every time you

wanted a new pot of pee.

The whole office was getting these
shakes.

Just wanted to make sure you were all
right.

And I'm sure when you go to that press
conference tomorrow morning, you'll be

terrific voice.

But just to be on the safe side, I
brought you some methylated cough drops,

Chinese Tiger Balm chest rub, vitamin C,
B6, B12, and Ms. Iron, just because

you're a woman.

Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, you don't have
to thank me.

Seeing you get better is all the thanks
I need.

Worried about your lousy bet? Murphy!

I am shocked!

You think I'm here just because of a
stupid bet?

That hurts me deeply.

Okay. Okay.

I know this is frustrating.

I know how tempting it must be to want
to talk.

So that awful feeling of not knowing
would go away and we could all get a

night's sleep.

But talking now would be wrong.

Clearly against doctor's orders.

Not that medicine is an exact science.

I heard a funny joke today.

Knock, knock.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay, so I guess I should go and leave
you to heal.

Have a good night, Murphy.

Although, I could stay overnight. I had
pajamas in the bag. Will you get the

hell out of here?

You talked.

You can talk.

This is so great, Murphy. A perfect
voice.

A normal voice. Oh, I'm so happy. Don't
say another word. You save it for

tomorrow. I'm gone. I'm out of here.

Maybe just one little bye, Miles, so
that we can...

Yes, we got the tape.

Okay, go ahead.

That's it? Just go ahead?

Come on, Joan, aren't you going to
announce me? I haven't been back in ten

years. I remember.

You're lucky I don't do a strip search.

Move on.

Hey,

Bill, Ted, how are you doing?

Oh, no.

We finally got rid of Donaldson, and now
the other big mouth is back.

Madam Murphy, an hour of prime time on
FYI every week isn't enough for you? You

have to come down here and try to steal
my lousy minute and a half?

Nice seeing you, too.

Geez, I'd forgotten how hostile the boys
can be when one of us wants to get into

the clubhouse. How do you stand it? My
God, could that hair be any bigger?

You better not be sitting in front of
me.

Oh, good, you're in the last row.

Attention, please.

This is your 30 -second warning.

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

Oh, hi, Murphy.

What? You're not going to give me a hard
time like everybody else? I'm sorry.

I'm just a little bit distracted. My
wife is about to have her first kid. Oh,

well, Alan, that's great.

Listen, if you want to switch seats, I'm
in the back row. That way you'll be

near the door in case anything happens.

Gee, thanks, Murphy.

Have you tried this on everyone, or do I
just look exceptionally stupid?

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of
the United States.

Morning, everyone.

I won't be making an opening statement
today.

So why don't we just go to the first
question?

The continuing instability of the Soviet
republics, do you feel the need to

reaffirm the security of the borders of
the Western European nations, in

particular Poland?

Well, we have recognized under Helsinki
existing borders, and I have no problem

reiterating that, but whether that
requires some kind of international

it, I just have no judgment on that.

Do you feel comfortable with your
environmental package, even though there

call for a specific reduction in carbon
dioxide emissions by a specific date, as

some of our allies have done?

Tough question. Who wrote that? His
Republican mother?

Mr.

President!

Terry, and then, uh, then Helen.

No, Frank, come on, Helen!

Then Charles, then we'll see.

Geez, what do I have to do, shoot off a
flare?

About time.

Mr. President, do you feel that... Do
you mind? He was pointing at me.

Oh, he wasn't. I was pointing at Bill.
Go ahead, Bill.

There are still a number of Republicans
who are very upset... Why do you stand

it? He never calls on the back row. Why
do you even show up?

There's free food.

How do you reconcile your new position
with those critics within your own... I

reconciled it. I was elected to try and
fulfill a platform and programs I

believe in.

That's my personal choice.

That doesn't mean I have a lack of
respect for others.

Go out and whatever it happens to be.
Oh, my God. My wife's in labor.

I've got to go.

That's more like it.

Next question, please.

Oh, geez. What do I have to do already?

You have to stop waving your hand in my
face. I see you, Murphy. I'd have to be

blind to miss you.

You confirm, as recent publications have
reported, that there is some

disagreement... It's a little harder
than FYI, isn't it, Murphy?

You don't get to sit in your cushy
little chair with your makeup and your

lighting. Down here in the pits, it's
every man for himself. Oh, give me a

break. I earn my stripes just like
everybody else. Don't blame me just

you're a lox on camera.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I wasn't
looking. That's not fair. He distracted

me.

Purpose, you cheater. All right, now.
Settle down, Murphy.

Come on, it was my turn. Admit it. Let
me see that question you take.

Get back back.

Ha! You call that a question? I was
asking tougher stuff than this on a high

school paper.

Why don't you just ask him his favorite
color? No wonder you're still a print

journalist. A lot of nerve.

And I suppose it was Hugh Downs that
broke Watergate. Oh, don't make me

You guys don't do half the job with me.
You watch my job around here.

Interviews? That was the last time you
were on the subway.

Looks like the only way we're going to
get out of here is let Murphy ask her

question. This better be good.

What is it?

Come on, Murphy.

I don't have all day.

All right, that's it. Thanks for coming.

If I ever see her in here again, you're
history.