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Baron, you and your organization time
off for us.
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You don't mind if I just call it tofu,
do you?
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You gals over there at tofu, you want
leave of absence with no risk of losing
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your job every time you've got a bun in
the oven.
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I mean, what do you think of that, huh,
gang?
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Oh, shut up, you!
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Good Lord, I'm yelling at a television.
You see what this man does to me?
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I can't believe Murphy ever went out
with Jerry Gold. He's crude and nasty,
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you just know he's got one of those
really hairy backs.
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I don't even want to think about it. I
was so repulsed by the relationship, I
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spent three months in therapy talking
about it.
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Three months talking about somebody
else's sickness.
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That's not sick, I don't know what is.
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If I live to be 100, I'll never
understand what Murphy Brown saw in that
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Well, for starters, the sex was pretty
good.
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Murphy!
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Our good friend and colleague, wearing
those shoes that make no noise.
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We were absolutely not talking about
your affair with Jerry Gold.
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Unless you heard everything we said, in
which case, Jim started it.
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Look, guys, it's all right. Right. We
only dated for a couple of weeks. I
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expect you to understand how the
relationship happened. I'm not sure I
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understand it either. But it's been over
a year, and I'm finally over it. I
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think it's time you got over it, too.
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Hi, everybody.
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That's it.
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As you all know, this is our last show.
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Maybe Oprah and Waldo don't mind
spending their time listening to every
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weirdo that comes down the pipe, but
after eight years, I have just had it.
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did it that is unbelievable jerry gold
left a 30 share show let the villagers
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rejoice oh good you're all here so you
get right
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to these few minor announcements first
some of you have been parking too close
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to the edge of your space making it
difficult for others to get in and out
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their car second jerry gold's joining
our show third cafeteria tray should not
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leave the cafeteria wait a minute
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Did we just hear you say Jerry Gold is
joining FYI? That's not what you said,
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it? That couldn't be what you said,
could it?
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Sometimes I really hate this job.
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How could you do this?
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How could you? He trusted you.
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Traitor! Traitor!
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I didn't think I'd feel about it.
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I hate the idea just as much as you do.
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The network says we're getting too much
mail accusing us of having a liberal
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bias.
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They say that bringing Jerry on with his
unique viewpoint will balance that.
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This is a nightmare.
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I always have this kind of dream when
the blanket gets all twisted and I can't
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move my arms.
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He's not going to be sitting at our
anchor desk, is he, Miles? I don't want
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that. It's our desk. You have to build
him his own little desk and it can't be
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touching ours.
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Murphy, you're not saying anything.
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How do I feel about this?
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How do I feel? I want you to know I
really fought the network. On the one
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it could be horrible.
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On the other hand, I could rise above
it.
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I could do it as a test of my character.
I could accept a situation like a
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professional journalist. Oh, I hate
that. No, guys, I'm sorry.
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I'm surprised to hear myself say this,
but the idea of seeing Jerry Gold again
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doesn't affect me one way or the other.
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For the first time, I really know it's
over.
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I don't believe this, Murph. You don't
care if Jerry Gold is on FYI? Of course
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do. I hate the idea of giving him and
his politics airtime. But if Miles said
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did everything he could, then what else
can we do?
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You did threaten to quit, didn't you,
Miles?
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Oh, you bet.
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Well,
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hi there, co -workers.
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Jerry's here.
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Yes, the happy day has finally arrived.
And who'd have thought it, huh?
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Jerry Gold on FYI.
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You know, I wish I'd brought my camera.
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I mean, talk about your Kodak moments.
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Welcome to FYI, Jerry.
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We want you to know that even though
we've had our differences in the past,
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we're willing to give it a shot if you
are.
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Well, I'm touched, really.
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00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,370
I don't know what to say except, oh,
what the hell.
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I know, Jim.
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It feels good to me, too.
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want the others to get jealous doing and
fontana my compliments to you on a
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fascinating piece you did on the fight
of the farmer but you have to tell me
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it turns out because i dozed off while
you were riding the tractor and sherwood
84
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:07,530
tell me something have you ever figured
out why drive -in movies don't have
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00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:08,530
matinees
86
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How have you been?
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Well, just fine. Thank you.
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Good. How's life treating you?
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Oh, can't complain.
90
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:27,390
Well, that's good. Good.
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00:05:28,030 --> 00:05:29,030
Okay.
92
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,790
Now that we've all had the opportunity
to say hello, maybe we can get to work.
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Good thinking. Sounds fine to me.
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Take any chair you like.
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We don't stand on ceremony.
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Just one big happy family.
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That's how we like to think of
ourselves.
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So, Jim, maybe you'd like to tell Jerry
about some of the stories we've been
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working on. No.
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00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,740
Oh, come on, guys.
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Jerry's been hired to do a job. How
about at least giving him the chance to
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it? Thank you.
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00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,600
You know, I've been kicking around a few
ideas, and I've got some thoughts how
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00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,180
to get this show out of its liberal rut.
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00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:04,700
Excuse me, Jerry.
106
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,780
I wouldn't say the show is in a liberal
rut. Our stories are always very well
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balanced. Oh, really?
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00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,860
Like that wimpy pro -environment piece
you did last week on the...
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logging in the Pacific Northwest? That
was a well -researched look at how greed
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is depleting a precious resource.
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Oh, my heart bleeds. The logging
industry is forcing Bambi and all of his
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friends to move to the city and share a
condo. There it is. The kind of short
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-term thinking that's destroying the
ozone layer. Oh, the ozone layer.
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A few scientists desperate for a
research grant make a big deal out of
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next thing I know, I'm standing around
with my arms in the air waiting for my
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roll -on deodorant to dry.
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it stay out of this i'm getting an idea
here this is right off the top of my
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head so bear with me murphy jerry what
do you think
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if you two went head to head in an
unscripted freewheeling debate kind of
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just like this every week forget it mile
yeah why would i want to Give up part
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00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:08,090
of my precious airtime just so Brown
could get on another one of her liberal
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bandwagons. It's lousy television,
Miles. The guy's completely overmatched.
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have him on the ropes in no time.
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Wait a minute.
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Am I hearing a challenge?
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What's the point? You already said no,
so I guess we're not doing it. Well, now
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it sounds like you're backing off.
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Afraid I'm going to show you up on
national television?
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Any topic, any time.
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You're on.
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FYI expands its format to include a new
segment.
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For years, Jerry Gold made headlines
with a controversial talk show. We saw
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all, from a shouting match on gun
control to a segment in which a doctor
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confessed an ongoing love affair with a
dead person.
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00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,480
Well, now he's here.
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With us.
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Every week. Where he would debate Murphy
Brown on important issues of the day.
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Join us now for Nose to Nose.
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Thank you, Jim.
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00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,080
Federal funding for the arts. A lot of
people think that because the government
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gives money to the National Endowment
for the Arts, it should have the right
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dictate what the artist does with that
money. In other words, to censor. Look,
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if some guy wants to dance naked with a
pig on the Pentagon steps and call that
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art, that's his business.
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But don't expect a taxpayer to pay for
it.
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You want to avoid censorship?
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I say cut the NEA completely.
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You can't be serious. Every great
society has helped support the arts.
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would Greece have been without
Sophocles? Or Italy without Da Vinci?
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tell me Jesse Helms would have
considered Picasso's work suitable for
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Hey, if you've got talent, you'll find a
way. You don't... Forget it. Do you,
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Gold? Without funding from the state, we
might not have the music of a Mozart.
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Without programs... Hey, do you mind? I
wasn't finished.
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You know, you urban intellectuals always
think you know what's right. But it's
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John Q. Public that knows what's... Oh,
that's right. I forgot. We've made our
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contribution to culture. We invented the
fast food restaurant.
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00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:05,710
Thank you, Murphy and Jerry, for this
stimulating and provocative discussion.
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We look forward to more of them in the
future. Thank you for joining us.
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This has been another edition of FYI.
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And we're clear.
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Hot show, guys.
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Fantastic show, guys. That was
television with a capital T. It was raw,
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electric, and it was my idea.
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Okay, people, I want to see everybody
over at my place. I plan a celebration
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welcome Jerry to the show.
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00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,620
Well, that was quite a workout, Brown.
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You didn't miss an opening.
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You went so bad yourself.
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Dance naked with a pig.
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Pretty good comeback.
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So, are you going to this party?
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Well, a girl's got to eat.
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Well, come on. I'll give you a ride.
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And did you see the stage manager waving
his arm for us to wrap it up? I thought
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he was going to dislocate his shoulder.
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00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:01,570
No, we definitely need more air time. I
was just getting warmed up. Okay, Brown,
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what are we going to do for an encore?
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00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:06,110
How about flag burning? We can really do
something with that. Not bad. But what
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00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:09,070
about... Jerry, I just want to say...
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Nice show.
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00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,590
Doesn't mean that I like you, Jerry, but
good is good.
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00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:15,470
Thanks a lot, guys.
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00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:20,020
I was thinking about the Supreme Court.
Nine judges. That's nine weeks' worth of
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arguments right there.
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00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,160
Somehow I get the feeling finding things
to argue about is never going to be a
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00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,280
problem for us. Tom's here. However, I
think we ought to lay down a few
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00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,500
questions. What are you two going to do
next week? Yes, you interrupted me. I
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00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:31,500
mean, that wasn't fair.
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00:10:31,820 --> 00:10:35,160
Oh, that's all? What do you want, a
referee present to guard against Billy?
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00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,160
show, guys.
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Everybody's talking about it.
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00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:41,180
You know, there were other segments on
the show, segments with rages,
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court fires.
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Could have gotten killed.
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00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:50,360
are we all talking about you know brown
i had forgotten how much i liked arguing
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with you i mean we always generated a
lot of heat i'd forgotten how good that
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feels it's been a long time doing it in
front of 30 million people added a nice
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little kick
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00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:06,720
look at
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00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:11,200
him he giggles at everything he says
he's not funny i'm funny
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Murphy is a professional. She knows she
has to work with the man. She's just
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00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:21,050
trying to make it as comfortable as
possible. I just love her so much.
203
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:23,590
We all do, Colonel.
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00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:24,690
Now, if you'll excuse me.
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People, if I could have your attention.
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00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:34,850
Frank, I'd like to make a toast to a new
segment of FYI that is going to be
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00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:37,410
providing major excitement for a very
long time.
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Here's the nose -to -nose and the two
people who make it happen, Murphy and
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Jerry.
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00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,700
Oh, God!
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00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,800
What is it, Carl? They're in there.
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Carl found them. They're in my bedroom.
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00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,460
In my bedroom.
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00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:18,700
Dear Lord, the image that has burned
into my mind. It will take me a lifetime
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00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:19,700
erase it.
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00:12:20,209 --> 00:12:21,209
One more look.
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00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:25,470
I think you better go home. I'll give
you a ride. Good night, Miles.
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00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:29,230
Frank, you can't leave now. You're her
friend. You can go in there. Please.
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00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:30,890
I just got new Jeffy Bean sheets.
220
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,190
What are you complaining about? My
leather jacket is on that bed.
221
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:39,490
Porky, Porky, why don't you hurry? The
party's just starting. There's plenty of
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00:12:39,490 --> 00:12:42,150
food. Don't leave me. I have to go feed
my cat, Miles. Goodbye.
223
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,450
Jim, can I stay at your house?
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00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:46,990
Good night, Miles. Lovely party.
225
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,250
Get out of my way.
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00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:26,810
Welcome back to FYI.
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00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:31,630
And now a segment that generated
enormous attention last week. Join us as
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Brown goes nose -to -nose with Jerry
Gold.
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00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:35,330
Murphy?
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00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:40,450
American aid to Eastern Europe. Many
think it's a wise investment in
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00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:43,530
new markets. Others believe we could be
aiding old enemies.
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00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,970
Look, the communists thought they were
going to bury us. But now they're in our
233
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faces begging us for help. If they want
to be capitalists, let them do it on
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00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,630
their own, like we did.
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00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:54,430
At least that's my opinion. I'm not
saying I could be wrong.
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understand why you might feel that way
after all it was their military i know
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00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:04,550
exactly where you're going and i think
oh i'm sorry i interrupted you didn't i
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00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:08,870
it's okay what were you going to say
what are they doing they're apologizing
239
00:14:08,870 --> 00:14:12,250
each other well it's just that every
time we win a war you know it seems like
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00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:16,890
wind up giving away more than if we lost
i mean look at germany and japan i mean
241
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,430
maybe what we're stating this a little
bit i don't know what do you think i can
242
00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:23,050
certainly see your point of view she
sees his point of view what did she say
243
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:28,610
yell at him yell at him I think it's
important to recognize that the world
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00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:32,590
become one marketplace, and the stronger
all the players are, the better it is
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00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:33,469
for everyone.
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00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:34,349
Don't you think?
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00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,350
Sounds good to me.
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00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:39,590
As long as we don't put ourselves at a
disadvantage.
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00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,370
Oh, no, we wouldn't want to do that.
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00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:48,530
You can worship.
251
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,270
Oh, God, where was my backbone?
252
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:56,040
All I needed was a cardigan sweater, a
pair of slippers, and the sheet music to
253
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,480
It's a Beautiful Day in the
Neighborhood.
254
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,020
Hello, young lovers.
255
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,160
If I may stretch the meaning of both
words to their utmost.
256
00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:11,720
Eldon, this really isn't a good time.
Time? Time doesn't matter when
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00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,240
strikes. You might want to cover your
heads. I'm experimenting with a new
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00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,240
splatter technique.
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00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,840
Eldon, you don't understand. Jerry and I
have to talk.
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00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,260
Go ahead. Don't bother me.
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00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:24,710
Eldon, go home now. Get in your truck,
drive away, don't look back. See you
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00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:25,710
tomorrow.
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00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:27,990
Okay.
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00:15:28,810 --> 00:15:30,210
Let me leave you with this thought.
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00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,970
Getting it on a regular basis has not
helped you at all.
266
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,890
You know, this is pretty scary.
267
00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:43,630
I've never had a problem separating my
work from my personal life.
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00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,310
Until now.
269
00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:46,590
Me either.
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00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:49,750
There were so many times when I could
have nailed you tonight, but I didn't
271
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,790
to. This is not good, Jer.
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00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,450
Not good at all.
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00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:56,790
What are we going to do?
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00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,010
I think we both know.
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00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:02,710
We're going to have to choose.
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00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:07,130
The job or the relationship.
277
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:10,730
Well, look.
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00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:13,830
Somebody's got to put this on the line,
so here goes.
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00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:19,250
Being on FYI, I mean, that's the first
time I've ever been taken seriously.
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00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:21,590
And that's important to me, Murphy.
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00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:26,750
And I know you understand because you
and I are both the kind of people that
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00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,850
always put work ahead of relationships.
283
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:33,410
So clearly there is only one decision
that can be made.
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00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:37,170
Ah, to hell with it. Let's go with the
relationship.
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00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:39,270
Chair, you do that?
286
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:42,030
You give up FYI?
287
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,350
In a New York minute.
288
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:47,430
Well, congratulations, Gold. You've
finally done it.
289
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,310
You've left me speechless.
290
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:51,350
Really?
291
00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:52,750
I better take advantage of this.
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00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:06,490
Hello,
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00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:10,190
Larry's House of Carpets. No one's
available to take your call right now,
294
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:13,650
you hold on, one of our operators
will... What is it, Miles?
295
00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:17,950
Jerry can't come to the phone right now.
He's...
296
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,680
He's busy unloading the dishwasher. It
could take him hours.
297
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:24,440
He won't go away.
298
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,220
Gee,
299
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,000
Silverberg, what a pleasant surprise.
300
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:34,960
Yes, we know we stunk.
301
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,140
What else?
302
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,100
What?
303
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:44,320
Yeah. You have the cutest ear. It's like
a little question mark.
304
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,340
Yeah, I got it. Look.
305
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:52,430
I would love to chat with you more, but
Murphy's just put on the G -string and
306
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:53,430
the tassels.
307
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:55,470
Hello?
308
00:17:57,990 --> 00:17:59,690
Well, guess what?
309
00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,650
The network hated the show as much as we
did.
310
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,850
They said I came across like an ethnic
Merv Griffin.
311
00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:10,350
So they fired me.
312
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:11,809
They did?
313
00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,170
Oh, honey, that's great.
314
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:16,570
I mean, now you won't have to go through
the legal hassle of getting out of your
315
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:17,930
contract. Oh, well.
316
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,120
They're not letting me out of my
contract. They've got other plans.
317
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:21,940
What kind of plans?
318
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,160
Well, you're not going to believe this,
but they offered me a late -night talk
319
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,660
show. I mean, I can be my old,
aggressive self. Jerry!
320
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,720
And listen to this. They want to put me
up against Carson. Can you believe it?
321
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,820
Carson! This is so fantastic!
322
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,120
What a night!
323
00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:38,200
What if the two of us celebrate?
324
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:41,820
I know just the way.
325
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:44,060
Perfect. Wait a minute.
326
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:45,800
There's something else.
327
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,540
The job...
328
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:49,890
is in Los Angeles.
329
00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:52,810
What?
330
00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:54,650
Don't worry. I'm going to turn it down.
331
00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:58,850
Turn it down? Oh, come on, Jerry. We
both know this is the opportunity of a
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00:18:58,850 --> 00:18:59,850
lifetime.
333
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:02,690
What's going to happen to us? I mean,
we're going to be 3 ,000 miles apart.
334
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:04,730
Well, it doesn't have to be a problem.
335
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:08,070
All it takes is a little planning, a
little patience.
336
00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:09,950
Now, let's see.
337
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:14,330
You'll be busy setting up the show, so I
could fly out to L .A.
338
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:19,270
Okay, next week I'm going to Geneva for
the World Bank conference and then Egypt
339
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,270
for the Mubarak interview.
340
00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:24,490
So that means I could come out in seven
weeks.
341
00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:28,450
Unless the Gulf situation is still hot,
in which case I'll be doing a Christmas
342
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:33,110
in Saudi Arabia piece. So it's seven
weeks, eight weeks tops.
343
00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:36,070
Nine weeks at the absolute outside.
344
00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:39,290
Nine weeks.
345
00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:40,910
But there's always a telephone.
346
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,120
We can talk every day.
347
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,320
Every day.
348
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:45,820
Every day.
349
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,420
You know, when we can. Right, when we
can.
350
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,260
At least for the first few weeks.
351
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:53,900
Until one of us misses a call.
352
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,560
Then the other one will feel guilty
about missing the call.
353
00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:01,120
Then they get angry about feeling
guilty.
354
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,000
And whoever it was would get even by
missing a birthday.
355
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,580
And the next thing I know, the Enquirer
announces that Amy Irving is carrying
356
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:10,920
your love child home.
357
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:15,160
We're better than this.
358
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,880
Let's just do it clean and simple.
359
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,880
I don't know why this is so hard. It's
not like we haven't had practice.
360
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,860
Well, let's look on the bright side.
361
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,690
You're going up against Carson.
362
00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:34,150
He'll be back in three months.
363
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:40,430
Give us a kiss.
364
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:50,910
Stay around, okay?
365
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:57,590
By the way, Murphy.
366
00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:00,150
There's one thing I want to say to you.
367
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:07,970
I... I love... I love...
368
00:21:07,970 --> 00:21:11,730
I love your shoes.
369
00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:16,690
I love you.
370
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,610
I love your shoes, too.
31283
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