All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s02e09_roasted

Well, it had to be back in 1952.

As I remember, I was at Washington
National Airport. We were waiting for

MacArthur to return from Korea. And
suddenly I felt someone tapping me on

shoulder. And it was this tall, gangly
young kid.

And he said, Walter Cronkite, I'm Jim
Dial. Is there any advice you can give a

struggling young reporter?

I told him he was too skinny for TV.
With that voice, he just might have a

career in radio.

I didn't see him again until the
Democratic Convention in 56.

All the network hotshots, of course,
were leapfrogging all over each other

trying to get the big story.

But it was Jim Dial who got the first
live interview with Jack Kennedy after

he'd lost the vice presidential
nomination.

This time, I introduced myself to him.

But perhaps my...

My most vivid memory goes back to the
night man first landed on the moon.

I was so full of emotion that night. I
could hear my voice start to waver. But

all I could think was, if I lose it now,
Dyle will never let me hear the end of

it. And that's the way it was.

You're wrong, Frank. This isn't the
Redskins here. Their whole offensive

too conservative for... Oh, God.

Another one.

I can't take it anymore, Frank. I just
can't take it. Look at him. What?

He's an axe murderer. I know he is.

You're being ridiculous. Murph, the guy
looks perfectly normal. But if you want

me to check it out... Please, Frank.
Please.

Hi there.

You must be Murph from the Secretary. I
just thought I'd introduce myself. Frank

Fontana. Oh, hi. Kenneth Herman.

I just want to say it's an honor to be
working here. I've watched FYI for a

time now, and in my opinion, it's the
most informative and well -produced

magazine show on the air.

Well, great.

Thanks very much, and nice to have you
with us.

I think you got a winner this time.

Thanks, Frank. Another brilliant job of
investigative reporting.

Say, Murph, notice anything unusual
around here? Yeah, there's mint in the

coffee. Okay, who's the wise guy who put
the mint in... No, Murph.

Jim's mug.

It's still sitting here.

Jim is always the first one in every
morning, and what's the first thing he

gets?

Bone dry.

Now, Frank, let's not panic until we get
the ransom note.

You joke if you want, but I'm telling
you, Jim didn't join us last night at

Phil's after the show either. And do you
remember the excuse he gave? Yeah, he

said he was tired and he was heading
home. He said he was tired and he was

heading home. And he expects us to buy
that. I'm telling you, something is up

with him.

You guys, is something the matter with
Jim?

You see?

What have you got?

Well... I saw him downstairs in the
coffee shop. He was just sitting in a

booth all by himself.

I knew it. No dishes, no silverware. The
waitress said he'd been there all

morning just sorting the sugars.

One sweet and low, one regular.

One sweet and low, one regular.

God, don't you two have enough to do? If
you want to solve a mystery, try

explaining Deborah Norville.

Morning, Hope.

Morning, Jim.

How you doing, Jim?

Yes, Jim. How are you doing? Fine.

It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

I drove by the river on the way to work.
I love that route.

The sun peeking above the bank.

The Potomac still shrouded in fog.

Ah, mint.

Oh, Frank, you're crazy. He's fine.

Okay, so I was wrong.

Are you guys blind?

Look at this.

He just left it here.

Jim never leaves a mess.

And why was he using a spoon anyway?

He forgot to pour in the milk. I'm
telling you, this is not the Jim I know.

Something's definitely going on with
him.

Morning, everybody.

Anybody see the Jim man around?

Yeah, he's in his office, but I don't
think you should bother him right now.

What's wrong?

He left his spoon on the counter.

Did you call 911?

Miles, I've known Jim a lot longer than
you, and something's not right with him.

You're just going to have to trust me on
this.

Oh. Oh. You mean it's something I'm too
dense to fathom? Something along the

lines of, oh, maybe it's Jim's 25th
anniversary with the network, and he's

because none of us have said anything
about it. 25th anniversary?

How'd you know that?

Because I, the dense guy, stay current.

I'm in touch, and Time Magazine wants to
do a story about him for their

milestone section.

Poor Jim. No wonder he's upset. This is
such an important event.

We did miss it. But it's not too late.
We can still do something big.

Really mark the occasion.

Oh, not another one of your chili
parties, Frank.

All right, what do you say we reserve a
segment on FYI for a Jim Dial

retrospective? No, it's too self
-promoting. Jim won't go for it. Come

else? Wait a minute.

I think I've got it. I know I've got it.
Oh, this is too perfect.

We'll throw him a roast. We'll make it a
surprise.

Yes. Great idea.

You mean where we all get up and say
funny things about Jim?

Not just funny, funny.

Insulting funny. We get all his friends
together. We stick him up on a dais and

we skewer him till he begs for mercy.
He'll love it. Okay.

Now, I just want to go over the plans
for Friday night. It's going to be an

bigger turnout than we expected. People
are flying in from all over the world.

Great. How are we going to get Jim to
the roast? He thinks he's going out to

dinner with me.

I want to make sure everyone's material
is great. I've been working on mine all

week, honing, sharpening. It's got some
killer lines in it, really classic

stuff. Oh, yeah?

Let's hear it. Nope, I'm painting it for
the roast.

Well, okay, just one.

You know, there's a reason why they made
Jim anchor at FYI.

Because he drags down the rest of the
show.

I tell you, if Jim were any more
stoic... No, no, I'd better wait.

If he were any more stoic, he'd be dead!

Okay, so what have you got?

Well, I don't know about the rest of
you, but I've come up with a good story.

real zinger. Tell us.

Ready?

Well, one time I was leaving work, and
my car got a flat tire, so Jim offered

help me change it. You know how much he
loves those expensive Italian suits of

his. So, he carefully took off his
jacket and rolled up his sleeves and

on the tire.

Well, he didn't get any grease on his
suit, but when he finished, he had this

tiny...

working on the setup but blah blah blah
i don't want to say jim's conservative

but when he got off the plane in hawaii
he immediately tied his leg into a

windsor knot windsor knot can i be
honest with you

guys you stink at this Come on, the man
has been with this network for 25 years.

25 years. Doesn't that mean anything to
you? The events he's been a part of, the

careers he's nurtured, the tireless work
he's done for charities, and you can't

think of one rotten thing to say about
him? What kind of friends are you? Come

on, let's do this for Jim. Show him how
much we love him. Let's fry his butt.

I think nobody says anymore.

I can't help it. I'm excited.

You should see the rumor.

Everybody who's anybody is in there. If
a bomb fell on this building, Phyllis

George would be back in the news
business.

You got parking the car. Now, will you
get back in there? He'll be here any

second. And tell Sam Donaldson to keep
it down. I can hear him from the street.

This is going to be great.

Sam, shut up.

Sorry for the delay, Murphy, but there
was no way I was going to leave my car

with a valet who was licking McNugget
sauce off his fingers.

Boy, am I starving. I can't remember
when I've been this hungry.

What do you say we go in? You know, you
really shouldn't handle a hat by the

brim. Oh.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to lash out at you. I
apologize.

Please, please forgive me.

Do you want it back?

No, no, no. You're doing a fine job.

Carry on.

Did you hear how I tore into that poor
woman and over a hat?

Well, it's no big deal, Jim. Now, come
on, let's go in. You know how this place

is. You're a five -minute plate and they
give away your table. Dear God, what is

happening to me?

Jim, are you all right?

Yes.

Oh, I don't know.

You know, Murphy, I have been with the
network for 25 years.

25 years today.

No kidding.

25 years?

And right on this day, you say? 25.

Sounds pretty impressive, doesn't it?

Until you realize my entire life has
gone by.

unexplored options have vanished.

Jim? I told myself I was going to hold
it together. Don't I always hold it

together? I don't know why, but this
time it's just too much. I'm flooded

self -doubt. I feel painfully
vulnerable.

Oh, Murphy, I'm so grateful to you for
inviting me for a quiet dinner tonight.

We've been friends so long, I think you
sensed my need for a safe place where I

could finally open up. Gee, Jim, I knew
there was something going on, and now

that I know exactly what it is...

I think the oak room here isn't the
right place for us to be.

What?

Well, for one thing, it's not really
oak.

It used to be oak.

But then after the fire, they redid it.

With pine.

Painted like oak. Oh, sure, they did a
nice job. Nobody really knows the

difference. But do we really want to pay
$4 for cheesecake in a place called the

oak room that, let's just say it, has no
oak? Let's go to Phil's. Phil's? No,

Murphy, not tonight.

I don't think I could handle a chance
encounter with anyone I know.

Come on.

This will be fine. Jim.

Jim,

I'm so sorry. I'm really, really sorry.
I thought

you'd like a little party. Just a few
friends.

200 people who truly care about you.

I'm sure a lot of you have written
speeches for tonight, but hey, we all

Jim, so what's the point in a lot of old
stories?

There's a great band next door at the
Jefferson Lounge. What do you say we all

head over there?

Tough room.

Okay, then.

I'd like to welcome you to a very
special night.

We're here to honor Jim Dial, a man we
respect and care for very much.

Very, very much.

reason why they made jim the anchor
because he's really very good at what he

does if jim were any more stoic we'd
still like him

okay i guess it's someone else's turn
remember the briefer the better

after all the time you take simply takes
time away from others so why don't we

start off with uh

Tell the tire story.

Thank you, Murphy.

It is such a thrill to be up here
honoring Jim in his 25th year at the

Oh, I know he can come across as rigid
and stiff, but not in the bedroom.

Just ask his wife.

How many of you here remember where you
were the day

Jim smiled?

Look at the two of them, huh?

Murphy Brown and Jim Dial, better known
as Beauty and the Deceased.

You know, very often they ask him to do
television commercials.

Actually, I did see him on the tube. He
was promoting a cemetery.

Hi, I'm not a corpse, but I play one on
TV.

And it's always great having Jim at the
bar.

Gives people something to hang their
coats on.

Jim actually started out as an actor.

His first play, he had a lead in Romeo
and Juliet.

But the director had to replace him when
Juliet insisted on killing herself at

the beginning of the play.

Jim went to Hawaii recently.

When he stepped off the plane, he
immediately tied his lay into a Windsor

this brings us to our last guest it's a
real honor to have him with us tonight

he's flown in specially for this
occasion one of our most noted names in

journalism ladies and gentlemen Irving
R. Levine you know Jim

and Irving go way back I'm sure when
Irving thinks about all they've been

through together he has plenty of warm
memories you know Jim always told me how

very very much he admired you just
remember that Irving thank you Murphy

If you don't mind, I'd like to be
serious for a moment.

I'd like to say a few words about a man
who's a legend in this business, someone

who is a model of journalistic integrity
and respectability, a man I'm proud

to call my friend.

But since David Brinkley couldn't be
here tonight, I'll just take a few shots

Jim.

I won't say that Jim's stiff, but... He
does moonlight at a dry cleaner as an

ironing board.

Jim and I played tennis together once.
He was doing pretty well until he got a

cuff link caught in the net.

And that voice, the only time... Thanks
for coming. I'm not finished.

It's late. These people have to work
tomorrow. I was just getting to my

Bush material. Sit down, Irving. Who
died and made you Leslie Stahl?

So thanks for coming, everyone, and good
night.

Hey, what about Jim?

Well,

I guess you all think you're pretty
funny.

You're just wasting your time in the
news business.

Why don't you go on Star Search where
you belong?

Our brave investigative reporter, Mr.
Daredevil, why don't you take a flying

leap?

Miles, if only he wouldn't. You, FYI, is
answering to Howdy Doody.

And I should be lectured to by Korsky
Sherwood, a woman whose idea of good

literature is a stop sign.

But Phil has something to say about the
way I...

My oldest friend.

I'm going to kill you, Irving.

What are you going to do, bore me to
death?

All right, fine. Have your little jokes.

And as far as I'm concerned, you can all
go to hell.

And tourists start running up and down
the steps, clicking cameras, dropping

litter, styrofoam cups, cigarette butts,
the little foil ends of lifesaver

rolls, that brown licorice that people
buy because they think they're going to

like it, but they don't, so they throw
it on the ground.

How'd you know I'd come here?

You told me once at Phil's, remember?

It was the night we all got together to
celebrate the end of disco.

He said you like to come here at the
feet of the great man and reflect on the

poetry and power of his words.

It was after we drank the tequila
shooters and before we sang the Bill of

Rights.

Do you mind if I sit down?

If you'd like.

The steps are cold.

So,

you must be pretty mad at me, huh?

You?

I must have looked like an old fool up
there tonight.

Are you kidding? You were a hit. There's
talk of you emceeing Mike Wallace's

roast.

You know, Jim, asking people about their
problems isn't my strong suit.

Well, not much for talking about mine.

Jim, what do you think these steps are,
40 degrees?

It started a couple of months ago.

A strange tightening in the chest and
shortness of breath.

Then last week, I woke up in the middle
of the night.

My heart pounding so badly, I had to ask
Doris to drive me to the doctor. And?

Good news.

I wasn't having a heart attack.

There's nothing physically wrong with
me.

I'm just going nuts. Isn't that a
relief?

I'm at the top of my profession.

I've seen wars, dined with kings, buried
presidents.

I have friends who respect me and a wife
who loves me.

Seems like I have it all, doesn't it?

It always seemed that way to me.

Murphy, it feels like all the best years
are behind me.

My passion has been replaced by an
anemic pride that comes with a job well

a pat on the shoulder, and a gold watch.

Murphy, I want my passion back.

Then get it back, Jim.

Do something new.

Find a hobby.

Like, I'm no good with tools, and I hate
to fish.

Then travel. Write a book.

I've been everywhere.

I tried writing.

Geez, Jim, paint pictures of Elvis on
velvet. I said I was no good at this.

Okay, we don't have the answer now, but
we'll work on it. We'll get it.

I mean, I've got a lot writing on this.

You know, you may not have noticed, but
I'm no as you know anymore.

My up -and -comer days are behind me, so
if you're going to tell me life ends at

50, then I'm going to leave here, go
over to Phil's, order a double scotch

chain smoke.

Because there's no point in trying
anymore if you don't believe that life

better. Do you get what I'm saying, Jim?

Don't give up. Keep looking for the
passion.

Just go for it.

Oh, God, did I say that? I hate that
expression. I've never used those three

words together. New Year's, 1979.

Well, it's late. I'd better get home,
grab a couple of hours of sleep. Come

I'll walk you to your car.

Oh, my.

The reflecting pool is certainly
beautiful.

It's like a mirror, as if you could walk
on it.

You know, I've often wondered what it
would feel like to go wading in the

reflecting pool.

But no, not Jim Dial. People would
stare.

What would they think?

What would they think, Murphy?

That you'd gone nuts.

Or that you were just feeling a little
passionate about water.

That one ends right, Nick.

You're on.