All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s01e22_the_morning_show

Each night before you go to bed, my
baby,

whisper a little prayer for me, my baby,

and tell all the stars above,

this is dedicated to the one I love.

It's one thing I want you to do.

Announcement to make.

This is my 200th day without a
cigarette.

200 days.

Pretty good, huh, friend?

Bet you didn't think I could do it, did
you, Marv, you old skeptic?

Okay, everybody, back to work. We're
going to have cake later.

Chip, guess what? I know, Mary B.

Everyone knows.

200 days.

Yesterday you told us 199 days.

Well, it seems like only a week ago it
was 193 days.

What I'm trying to say, Murphy, is that
as much as we love you and we do love

you, we're wondering whether this is
going to go on forever.

Jim, when was the last time you had sex?

Oh, God, it shows.

Doris and I were having a little problem
in our marriage. We don't seem to be

able to...

get in step with each other lately.

Maybe you'll need to put a little
romance in your life. You know, flowers

candlelight, a hotel with cable.

It's true.

After 25 years, we do start to take each
other for granted.

And since the show is preempted this
week, maybe it is a good time to plan

something nice.

There you go.

Morning, guys.

I'd say this is one of your better
Mondays. Looks like we'll be able to log

serious goof -off time.

By the way, did any of you get a chance
to see the promo for that mini -theory

that's pre -empting us this week?

You mean Power and Passion?

It's nothing but an exploitative,
pandering piece of trash that follows

airwaves, eating away at our
intelligence until the cerebral level of

country is about the size of a gnat's
butt.

There's a guy who hasn't sunk a putt
lately.

I'm Murphy Brown. Welcome to my desk.

Yes, ma 'am, I know. I'm Edward Preston.
Pleased to make your acquaintance, ma

'am.

Do people ever tell you you remind them
of someone?

Well, yes, ma 'am, they do. A lot of
folks say I favor Roy Orbison.

Murphy.

Hi. Miles Silverberg, executive
producer.

Welcome to FYI.

Edgar Preston. Pleased to meet you, sir.

I thought you said it was Edward
Pressman.

Yes, it is. It's Edward Edgar Pressman.

Oh, excuse me. I got to go mail
something.

You know who he reminds me of?

An older Jay Leno. Am I right?

So, Murphy.

I just stopped by to ask you something.

Actually, I came by with an interesting
proposition.

You know the show Another Day America?

The morning news show that was taken
over by the entertainment division and

come to symbolize the threatened demise
of broadcast journalism as we know it?

That Another Day America?

That's the one.

Susan Sidwell starts her maternity leave
this week.

And Bob Bates is still recuperating from
that incident at the tanning salon.

So guess what?

The network would like you to fill in as
host for the week.

Isn't that great?

No, it's not great.

Now, don't look down on this, Murphy.

It takes a special kind of person to
host the morning show.

Someone with style and charisma.

Someone who can generate the kind of
ratings you do.

Besides, one week on the morning show
will expose your audience to a whole new

side of you.

I want you to read my lips.

I'd rather walk barefoot through hot
coals than be on the same broadcast as a

weatherman who wishes happy birthday to
people's pets.

Gee.

Mr. Kinsella. Silverberg.

Murphy, I know that Silverberg has
talked to you about hosting the morning

this week. I'm sorry, Gene. She's
playing hardball on this one. I'm afraid

issue is dead key.

Well, I certainly wouldn't want to force
you into something you're set against,

but I think you should know that another
day America is a very important show to

the network.

We need someone with style and charisma,
a person who can generate the kind of

ratings you do.

I don't know, Jean. I don't think I'm
the right woman for this. You see,

stars like you are very few and far
between.

The big ones like yourself and Connie
Chung have reputations... Wait a minute.

Connie Chung?

I'm a much bigger star than Connie
Chung.

Of course you are. We all know that. No,
I only bring up her name because if you

say no to this, we'll ask her next.

Now, frankly, she's already expressed
interest.

Yeah, she thinks it would be good for
her audience to see another side to her.

Hey, that's Connie.

No, you make up your own mind, and I
certainly would understand if you want

pass.

Well, you have made a couple of good
points, Gene.

And actually, it's only for a week.

I guess it wouldn't kill me. Well, good,
then it's all settled.

But I want you to know the only reason
I'm saying yes is I know it would mean a

lot to Miles.

Well, I certainly am glad to see that
this relationship is working out.

Murphy, thank you.

Silverberg, let's have lunch.

Why did you say that?

I don't know, Miles.

Sometimes Donna Reed comes in and takes
over my bar.

Let's not question it.

Thank you, Murphy.

I owe you one.

Hey, wait a minute. I forgot to ask. I'm
not going to host the show alone. Who's

my co -host going to be?

Murphy, I just heard the news.

We are going to have so much fun!

Hello,

Murphy. Pull up a chair.

I got news.

I'm going to host the morning show.

The morning show?

They asked me to host it once.

As if I really wanted to get up at 3 a
.m. to interview some flash -in -the

starlet or health food nup for the sole
purpose of entertaining late -to -work

slackers of the chronically unemployed
and cooking them on a day -long spree of

soap operas.

Jim, did you book a hotel yet?

No.

What's this I hear about you hosting the
morning show?

God, Phil, is there anything you don't
know about?

I was a day late on the quail
nomination, but... That was more of a

psychological denial situation.

Hi, Murphy. Hi, Jim.

Well, I got the segment list for our
week.

I was really excited when I saw it.

We get to interview Charles Pritchard.

Who?

Murphy, he's a very distinguished
author.

He won the Children's Book Award this
year. He wrote China Berry Chuckles in

Land of the Woogies. What the hell's a
woogie?

Here's a copy of the book. Make sure you
study it. And take a look at this list.

There's some challenging things on it.

Gifts you can make for Father's Day. How
to get your dog to respect you.

Corky, there's no studying here. This
stuff's a snap.

Well, I'm glad you know everything there
is to know about spring.

fashions for thick -waisted women.

Me, I have to do my homework.

And I'm making it a short day.

I'm going to bed early so that getting
up at 3 .30 isn't a shock to my system.

Think about that, Murphy.

You know how you retain water when
you're tired.

I hate this.

I have to be in a makeup chair in five
hours and I can't sleep.

Why don't you try reading a book? That
usually works for me. I tried reading

that one, but I couldn't get through it.

China Berry Chuckles in the Land of the
Woogies.

Why don't you lie down on the couch?
I'll read to you.

That's stupid, Eldon.

Hey, it's a once -in -a -lifetime offer.
What have you got to lose?

Comfy? Just read it, Eldon.

And so, China Berry Chuckles gathered up
all his worldly belongings.

and went in search of his dear old
friends, the Fee -Fees.

He knew that Kelbo, their leader, would
help him on his fearful mission.

You know, I had it figured out by page
three.

Any fool could guess that China Berry
Chuckle finds the magic key in the

cave and the woogie's Christmas is
saved.

Well, thanks a lot.

If I were reading Anne of Renina, you'd
probably tell me not to get too attached

to her.

really nice about getting up before
everyone else. You get so much done.

I was up at three, did my aerobics, made
a good breakfast, did my hair and

nails, and still had time left over to
organize my notes.

I brushed my teeth.

You know, you should floss too, Murphy.

A middle -aged mouth is just a
playground for gum disease.

Look, Murphy, it's Clint Goodman, the
weatherman. He's my favorite.

I'm going over to introduce myself.

Hi, Mr. Goodman.

I'm Corky Sherwood.

You know, I've been watching this show
for a long time, and what strikes me is

no matter how bad the weather is, your
sunny disposition just comes right

through that screen.

Oh, tell it to someone who cares, okay?

And thanks for taking away my one big
shot at the couch.

You know how long I've been waiting to
feel those cushions under my butt?

since you were a child, babe. But no,
I'm stuck with this stupid weather crap

while a couple of tootsies from some big
-deal primetime show get the anchor

spots.

Jenny!

I got all cat birthdays here. Now get me
some dogs or I'll get letters.

Places, please.

Thirty -second stare.

Look what they send me.

Pathetic. Pathetic.

Hey!

Wait up!

This is morning!

don't mess around down here. These
people are my people, so don't cross me,

okay?

Five seconds there.

Four, three, two.

Good morning, and welcome to Another Day
America. I'm Murphy Brown.

And I'm Corky Sherwood, filling in for
Susan Sidwell.

Hope it's a girl, Susan.

And we all send our best wishes to Bob
Bates for a speedy recovery.

You know, I hear he's peeling now,
Murphy, but he's going to talk about his

accident when he gets back.

Maybe through his hardship he can help
others.

Well, anyway, we have an exciting week
lined up for you.

We'll be starting our five -part series
of visits to celebrity homes.

Today, Earl Holloman.

But first, here's our favorite
weatherman, Glenn Goodman.

Well, thank you, Corky, and I must say,
what a pleasure it is to have two

gorgeous stars from FYI here with us
this week.

Then we'll be back with a complete
weather picture later.

But first, we have a special guest in
our studio, Charles Pritchard.

Mr. Pritchard is the author of that best
-selling new children's book,

Chinaberry Chuckles in the Land of the
Woogies.

This is the fourth in the series,
correct, Mr. Pritchard?

Yes, and it's so gratifying that the
character has been so well -received.

Well, I, for one, couldn't help noticing
that the male -dominated woogie kingdom

seems to mirror our own adult struggle
for sexual equality in the workplace.

Oh, I wouldn't call the woogie kingdom
male -dominated. In fact, I don't know

that the woogies have a particular sex.

Tell me, aren't the fee -fees actually
an oppressed minority of sorts?

Oh, no.

The fee -fees are very happy little
creatures.

Well, I'm sure that's what you'd like us
to believe.

There's a subliminal message being sent
here. Case in point, Chinaberry chuckles

himself. He shows up, does nothing to
liberate the peepees, just passes out

Christmas presents, and only to the rich
woogies.

Do you have little ones, Ms. Brown?

I think I can intelligently discuss your
37 -page book without the benefit of

having experienced childhood.

where the big woogie cried because there
would be no Christmas.

Oh, did you?

I hear there's going to be a sequel.

Well, yes, there is. China Berry
Chuckles is going to have a rematch with

ogre.

You know, there's so many ways of
looking at these things.

It is possible to see the ogre as a
symbol of the unregulated growth of

government power.

I, for one, would like to remember him
as just a great big hairy fellow who's

been misunderstood.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Charles Pritchard, we're out of time.

I hope you'll be writing books for years
to come.

Murphy?

And in our next half hour, Brad Heflin,
a real news guy, will have an interview

with the new Secretary of Health and
Human Services.

It's very short.

Murphy, you're just going to have to
lighten up, and that's all there is to

We're not doing meet the press. You're
dragging me down out there.

I was being light.

Well, then why did you insist to that
poor actor that he's always being

typecast? Who cares?

He always plays the same innocent kid.

He's 10.

Now, Murphy, you're just going to have
to get better at this.

I can't do all the work by myself out
there.

Frankly, you're embarrassing.

Oh, hello, ma 'am.

I just want to say I've been enjoying
your work on a morning show very much.

Oh, thank you. Isn't that sweet?

And you are?

Elwood Pressler.

Happy to make your acquaintance, ma 'am.

Excellent job you're doing. Everyone
upstairs is highly impressed, and the

audience response has been very
favorable.

Well, thank you, sir.

I'm doing my best. Oh, please, please.

Call me Gene.

Hi, Gene.

Hi, Brownie. Been watching you on the
show.

Yes. Lighten up.

Come on.

I'm not that bad, am I?

Jim?

Frankly, Murphy, I've rarely seen anyone
so ill -suited for a situation as you

are for the morning show.

You're acerbic, humorless, inflexible,
and unprepared.

In a nutshell, you make Sam Donaldson
look like Pinky Lee.

Jim, I thought you went to a hotel with
Doris last night.

I did. It was great.

Thanks for the advice, Murphy.

But you still suck.

Murphy, I feel terrible about this.

It's all my fault.

Whoever knew you could be so bad at
anything?

I'm not bad, Miles. I'm just not good.

The morning show is harder than you
thought, isn't it? Yes.

It takes a certain kind of person to
ease people into their day.

Corky knows how. I hate that.

Ah, Murphy.

Maybe you'll just have to accept the
fact that there are some things you'll

never master.

What do you mean?

You think I can't do morning?

I can do it.

I can do it great. You just watch
tomorrow.

Corky gave me the gardening segment.

I'm going to tell you everything you
ever wanted to know about bulbs.

People will be talking about mulch on
their way to work tomorrow.

The words tuberous begonias will be on
everyone's lips.

Elwood, get me the Georgetown nursery.

No, no. I said the jumbo bucket of
chicken.

Miss Brown, we've had a change of plans.

Mr. Kurtz, the plant expert, he had an
accident on the I -95.

A load of potting soil shifted in his
truck jackknife.

He's okay, just so you know. It's just
he's stuck in Virginia until sometime

this afternoon.

But, um, we got another gardening guy,
right?

Actually, we got Ida Mae Johnson.

She does green things, though, right?
Plants, little growing green things?

Says she's a winner of the 1988 National
Bake Off.

That sounds like cooking.

Do you mean cooking?

gardening segment. I bought a little
spade and those goatskin gloves.

I read everything ever written on
perennials. Mr. Kurt's jackknifed. What

you talking about?

The garden guy.

He's been replaced by a lady who bakes
things.

Murphy, this is no reason to panic.

So we've been thrown a curveball.

We're professionals.

We'll handle it.

Listen, you don't understand.

The last time I baked brownies, I had to
call in an industrial cleaning service.

Do we have any idea what Mrs. Johnson is
going to bake?

Well, judging from the ingredients and
the utensils, looks like a dessert

souffle.

Why don't we just build a Titan missile,
for God's sake?

Murphy, it's all right. We'll get
through this.

Just tell yourself, I can do this.

We're here this morning with Ida Mae
Johnson of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,

of this year's National Bake -Off.

That's right, and Mrs. Johnson is going
to show us how to make an orange

souffle. Now, Mrs. Johnson, this is the
recipe you won with, right? Oh, no, that

was my fruitcake.

But this was on a kind of short notice,
and my nuts have to be rum -soaked for a

week.

I see.

As you can see, we've melted the butter,
and now we're going to blend in the

flour. That's right.

We've melted the butter, and now we're
going to blend in the flour.

Pour the flour.

We blend the flour.

Notice the way in which she blends.

Nice, even strokes, stirring, I believe,
counterclockwise.

Uh, Mrs. Johnson, what exactly is that
utensil Corky's using?

A spoon.

No special name for it? No special kind
of spoon?

No.

Just an ordinary common spoon.

You know, some people think a souffle is
hard, but it isn't really. Not as long

as you have the right utensils and you
time everything just right. So what's

next? While we're waiting for the milk
to boil, we need to separate four eggs.

Well, why don't you do that while I
grate the orange peel?

Oh, okay.

Separate the eggs, huh?

Would you like me to do that, Murphy?
No, no, no. It's okay. I can handle it.

Here we go.

way to separate egg. It's all in the
wrist.

Watch this.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Let me try that.

No, Murphy, you stir the flour. No, no,
I can get this.

That's two out of three.

Now, see here, it's time for the milk,
and this girl still not got the flour

mixed in.

Murphy, why don't you tell everybody
about the importance of keeping your

countertops tidy?

Here's a sponge. Just one more egg. You
girls settle down now. We gotta beat the

egg whites.

I'll beat the egg whites. No, I'll beat
the egg whites. I don't care who beats

the egg whites. Just beat them.

Beat them. They gotta go into the sauce
now.

Oh, those whites won't beat. Those
whites won't beat. They'll yell at you.

They'll be a little yellow.

Well, you don't even know what you're
doing. You ruined my souffle.

Well, there's a butcher knife. Why don't
you just cut my...

It's been fun, but we need to shut the
studio down.

Okay, okay. Just one more.

Murphy, I'm sorry I had to get rough
with you on set.

I hope you're not mad.

Nah. Actually, I should thank you for
taking that meat mallet away from Mrs.

Johnson.

Good. See you upstairs.

Hey, Corky.

Um...

I've been meaning to tell you something.

You really surprised me this week.

You were good.

Oh, Murphy.

Thank you for saying that.

It means a lot to me.

I wish I could say the same about you.

It's okay. I've accepted my
shortcomings, sort of.

You know, this week you're probably
feeling a lot like I do most of the

Somebody throws you into a situation
you're not prepared for and you fall on

your face a lot.

But I believe a person can learn if they
study hard and really apply themselves.

At least I hope they can.

I really would love to be like you,
Murphy.

Gee, I guess that's about the nicest
compliment anyone's ever given me.

Come here, Murphy.