All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s03e06 Bob & Murphy & Ted & Avery

And it was just so great the way we
stole the first interview with the

right out from under Nightline's noses.
I'm telling you, special editions of FYI

are my favorite thing. I just love being
on the air all night. Really love it.

Don't you love it, Miles?

Where's the aspirin? And Frank was so
great, wasn't he? The way he got that

background on the Iraqi terrorists in
just a few hours. I'll bet you have

sources Dan Rather could only dream
about. Just dream about.

Only... dream about i'll give you five
dollars if you stop talking i can't live

coverage of a late breaking story it's
just so exciting really exciting

extremely exciting isn't that right jim
murphy we've just been on the air for 24

hours living on nothing but coffee and
adrenaline and right now the sound of

your voice is grating on my nerves like
fingernails on a blackboard so why don't

you put your peppy little butt in a
chair settle down and be quiet

Everyone's nerves are on edge, but no
matter how tired we are, I think we

take a moment to pat ourselves on the
back and enjoy the good feeling of a job

well done.

There's no coffee!

Somebody drink all the coffee!

I want them fired!

Why not wait in the fire in a mile?

There's no coffee!

Corky. Corky, it's okay.

Come on and sit down.

We'll get you some more coffee.

When? When will we get some?

Look, I know we're all tired, but before
we can wrap it up this morning, we need

to have a meeting.

Everybody take your seats.

Great. I'm right here with you, Miles,
in my chair, ready to go.

Anything you need, I can do it. Will
somebody shoot her?

Okay. I think we need to find a way to
include yesterday's events into next

week's broadcast.

Maybe we should shell the piece on the
head of the Federal Reserve and plug in

profile of the hijacked pilot.

Sounds like something Murphy could do.
What do you think, Murphy?

Okay, that's a wrap. We'll pick this up
at lunch.

I was forced to disarm a rude security
guard in the lobby.

Somebody return this to the proper
authorities.

See you.

Lovely to see you.

Murphy didn't mention that her mother
was coming to town. Now, that sounds

the kind of thing she'd be sure to tell
us about. I like to surprise Murphy, and

I'm one of the few people who can do it.

Do you have other clothes?

You seem to wear the same thing over and
over.

Nice hat.

So, I bet you want to see your daughter.
Well, she is right over here.

Boy, I can't wait to see the look on her
face when she finds out who's here.

Look at her. She looks like an angel
when she's sleeping.

Not that I've ever been with her when
she's sleeping.

We don't have that kind of relationship.

It's not because I don't find her
attractive or I'm not attracted. It's

kind of a mutual fear of intimacy that
they say goes way back to childhood.

Mr. Fontana, you're boring me.

Nice hat.

Murphy?

Murphy, wake up.

Surprise.

You've got to stop doing this.

Other mothers call ahead. I know they
do. I've been told this.

Murphy, people are watching.

I think you should give me a hug.

Oh, Mother, you know this never goes
well.

I know we'll get the hang of it one day.
I know we will.

But now, I need to discuss something
with you.

But we need our privacy.

May I have everyone's attention, please?

My daughter and I need to talk.

Everyone must leave for ten minutes.

I have a better idea.

Why don't we go in my office?

I don't think that's funny.

Have a seat, Mother.

All right.

So. So?

So, what did you want to talk to me
about?

Well, in a nutshell, I've lost my will
to live.

What? When I get up in the morning, I no
longer have anything to look forward

to. No new mountains to climb.

So I've made a decision.

I'm going to change the scenery of my
existence.

I think that's a great idea. I'm going
to move in with you.

Hold it. Flag on the floor. You mean
live with me in my house?

Isn't this a little hasty? And forgive
me for asking, Mother, but does this

anything to do with the fact that Dad
recently remarried?

Did he?

Mother, I think maybe it's time to start
dating again. You know, seriously.

Now, why would I want to do that?

I don't know. It just might be a more
fun way to spend Saturday night than

sitting in that big house in
Philadelphia watching Fatal Attraction

over.

Look, Daddy's obviously moved on with
his life.

I think you should be able to move on
with yours.

Well, I'll think about it.

You're never going to believe what's
happened. I may just self -destruct

in this chair. You will never believe
it, never in a million years.

I'll bite. What's going on? What's going
on?

What's going on? Oh, nothing much.

My mother just announced she's moving in
with me. Not for a few days, not for a

few weeks, forever.

Other than that, my life is just swell.

Your mother wants to live with you?

Why would anybody want to do a thing
like that?

Oh, good, Miles. Walk up to a bear and
poke it with a stick.

Now, Murphy, it sounds to me like your
mother's just a little lonely.

She's been divorced for how long?
Fifteen years? That's my theory. She

start dating again.

Of course, we're talking about the
pickiest woman I know.

Oh, who am I kidding? She's never going
to start a relationship now.

All right, I found one.

Mother, I thought you were at the house.

Found one what?

A man.

talking about? You left the office less
than two hours ago.

Well, what you said made perfect sense,
and there was no point in wasting time,

so I took a taxi to the National
Gallery, and I stood at the foot of the

escalator and watched all of the men
that rode up or down, and then I picked

one. Oh, God, my mother's gone crazy.

I followed my selection up to the third
floor. I noticed he was quite attractive

with a nice head of hair.

And he wore no wedding band on his
strong spatulate fingers, although he

perfect. He wore those pants with no
belt loops, but I could work on that.

Anyway, I engaged him in conversation
and invited him to dinner, and he

accepted. Mother, you can't do this. You
can't stalk innocent people in a

museum. Besides, you have no idea who
this man is. He could be a bigamist or

axe murderer.

He's a lovely man.

And recently he sold a small appliance
company for quite a lot of money. And,

Murphy, best of all, he has a son.

A son? Did you hear that, Murphy? He has
a son!

Mother, I have an awful feeling I know
where this is going, and the answer is

no. Oh, Murphy, don't be so scodgy. Take
a little of your own advice.

Everyone needs companionship, and this
could turn out to be Mr.

Right. Tell her, everybody.

Tell her!

Murphy,

it's 7 o 'clock. Why aren't you dressed?

Because I don't want to go, Mother.

Dating is painful.

Men see me on TV every week being tough
and competitive, and they assume that's

all there is to me. They wind up being
intimidated, and I never hear from them

again. Besides, we don't even know these
guys' names, do we? Of course we know

them. My date's name is Theodore Wilkes,
and his son's name is Bob.

Exciting name, Bob.

Spelled backwards as Bob.

Mother, I want you to promise me
something. That when these guys get

you'll tell them I'm not feeling well
and that I'll be excusing myself early.

They're here. Promise me, Mother.
Promise me or I'm going right out the

window. All right.

How could I raise such a prude? Open the
door.

Theodore, hello again.

And hello to you, Avery. Boy, you look
just great.

Oh, thank you very much, Theodore. So do
you.

Oh, I see you're wearing a belt. I like
that in a man.

Oh, hi.

I'm Theodore Wilkes.

You must be Avery's dog. Right. Nice to
meet you.

So, I guess old Bob couldn't make it,
huh?

Oh, no. He's here. He's parking the car.

Say, has anybody ever told you that you
have Murphy Brown's face?

This is Murphy Brown's face. I'm Murphy
Brown.

Well, I'll be a son of a gun.

This is more exciting than the time I
saw Kay Ballard at the car wash.

I can see where you get your good looks.

You're going to make me blush, Theodore.

I almost forgot. I brought you a little
something.

For me?

It's a travel blender. One of my biggest
sellers.

It's got a frap speed.

None of my competitors have a frap
speed.

How lovely and yet practical.

And I do love a good fan.

I had to park around the block. One jerk
with a white Porsche took up two

parking spaces.

Is that Bob? Is this Bob? Are you Bob?

That's me, Bob.

Well, hello, Bob.

I'm Murphy, the jerk with the white
Porsche.

Good one, Bob. Mind if I go out and try
this entrance again?

Oh, there's no need to do that, really.
There's just no need.

Uh, do you know my mom?

Uh, Bob, Mom, and do you know your dad?
Well, yeah, I guess you do.

Shall we go into the living room and get
acquainted?

Bob, why don't you tell Murphy what you
do for a living?

I'm sure that whatever it is, she'll
find it fascinating.

Well, I'm not sure how fascinating it is
sitting in an office with a view of

Millie's doghouse.

I'm one of the White House
speechwriters.

No kidding.

Wow. You didn't by any chance have
anything to do with Barbara Bush's

the Wellesley graduates, did you?

Well, sort of. I wrote it.

Wow. I'm impressed.

That was one of the most brilliant
speeches I've ever heard.

Well, thanks. Thanks a lot.

You know what, Bob? A funny thing
happened earlier. Your father said to

said, you have Murphy Brown's face.

How about that, huh?

Good going, Dad.

I am Murphy Brown, you know. I know.

Oh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't make a
big deal about it. You know, once you've

seen the president making French toast
in his underwear, you get a little blasé

about celebrities.

I hope I didn't insult you. Oh, you
didn't.

Good, because I lied.

My palms feel like wet sponges, and if
I'd ever seen you make French toast in

your underwear, I know I'd never forget
it.

I know I should mention that...

Murphy isn't feeling well, and she may
have to make her early apologies.

Oh, actually, Mother, I'm feeling great.
Remember how just before Bob got here,

I said I was feeling better? Remember
that?

No.

I'm starting to forget things, too.

So, what are we going to do tonight?

Oh, this isn't what I'm wearing. I just
didn't want a wrinkle.

Don't you think it would be fun to do
something new and exciting? I don't know

exactly what. We could all get in the
car and drive around.

And I think we'll recognize it when we
see it. What do you say?

Let me get this straight, Mother.

You just want to cruise around in the
dark until you find some action

That's right.

Yes, sir.

Are you sure this is the way you want to
spend the evening? I feel a little

overbreast. I knew I'd like this place
the minute I set my eyes on it. It

dangerous. I just want to mention once
more, we passed a really cute little ice

cream parlor a few blocks down.

They had antique ceiling fans.

Could be a lot of fun. What do you
think?

I want to stay here.

Good for you, Avery.

Come on, Dad. Let's get some drinks and
some pretzels.

If anybody gets you any trouble, you
just tell them you're with that big guy

over there.

You're so great, Mother. You're
absolutely right. Sometimes you just

shut your eyes and jump in with both
feet.

If I could give you a little advice,
Murphy, try to act like a lady.

Men don't like women that are too
aggressive or know more than they do or

their own car doors.

Beer, soda, and plenty of pretzels.
Everybody help themselves.

We picked out four poles, one for each
of us.

These are called tubes.

Can you see this little piece of chalk
here?

Take this and you rub it.

On top of the cue, like so.

And we do that so the cue doesn't slip
when we contact the ball.

Ted, you know so much about this.

Okay. How do you say we play teams, two
against two? Great idea. Although I just

feel I should tell you up front, I'm not
exactly a novice at this game. I spend

a lot of time on the road with crew.

Then it wouldn't be fair for you and me
to be on the same team. My four years at

Yale, I was unbeaten. Well, what do you
say we play boys against girls?

Fine with me. Okay with me. I'm for
that.

Well, ladies, what's your pleasure?

How about a little game of eight ball?
Eight ball?

It's for amateurs. Now, nine ball,
that's a game of skill. You need the

a surgeon for nine ball.

Unless you really like to play eight
ball, that would be fine. Nope, nine

fine. Let's make it even more
interesting.

We have to call our shots.

What do you say we let the ladies have
the first break?

It was all yours, wasn't it?

Okay, mother.

Watch me very carefully.

Oh, nice break. You really have done
this before.

Step aside, gentlemen.

Deuce in the corner.

Yes! Who is she?

Good one.

Touch. You know what I like about you,
Murphy?

You don't feel you have to let the man
win just to boost his ego.

Three in the side pocket. I mean, it's
great that men and women have gotten to

the point where they don't have to be
threatened by each other. Ha! You

I guess it's my turn.

Three in the corner.

That's my boy.

Look -de, look -de, look -de.

Very nicely done.

Four in the side.

That's not fair. Somebody coughed.

And this table's not level. Look, it
should have gone in. Should have, but I

could have. Give us some room. It's my
mother's shot.

Are we winning?

Yes, Mother. Now, you just try to get
that purple ball into that pocket over

there. You don't have to hit it hard.

Here, Avery. Let me show you.

Now, you just, uh, just let it slide
right through your fingers.

You see?

Like so.

Oh, poo.

But she was very close, wasn't she, Bob?

Very close.

They're patronizing us, Mother. It's a
cover. You know why?

Because they're scared.

Well,

ladies, looks like you're about to lose
your fifth game. Or is it sixth? I've

lost track. What are these, cobwebs?

Can I get you something to read while
you wait your turn?

Maybe war and peace?

I hate this, Mother. The brown women are
being humiliated. You're handling it so

well. I don't know how you do it. Wish I
could follow your lead.

After all, it is just a game.

Ouch!

Well, all good things must end.

But not for long.

Your turn, Avery.

Don't worry, honey. Nobody expects too
much from you.

Remember, this is a man's game. It's in
our genes.

What an interesting theory.

You two gentlemen will want to find
chairs and sit in them.

I may be here for a while.

Eight in the corner pops.

Lucky shot.

Not my ass.

Well, they won't be doing.

How are you doing it?

You remember your father's pool table?

Well. If it's 1952 and your husband
doesn't want you to have a career and

at home with a child, you find something
to amuse you.

This was mine.

I'll be sure to put this in my memoirs
under the chapter Great Men Who Run

Screaming Out of My Life.

Oh, God, Mother, what is it with us?

Why can't we take the easy route once in
a while?

Because it's boring and dishonest and
uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of

shoes all day that pinch your feet.

I know, but sometimes I wish I were a
different kind of person.

Mother, did you ever think you might be
alone forever?

Oh, yes.

Many times.

Your father and I, one of our favorite
things to do on a Sunday afternoon was

make a big fire and just sit by it and
read.

I haven't done that for a long time.

Sometimes I start to make a fire, and
then I think, but there's only me now.

What's the point?

It's foolish, I know.

Well, he's to be married now.

Well, at least you can say that for
however long it lasted, you've been in

I mean, really in love once in your
life.

I don't think that happens to everybody.

Murphy, I never read you fairy tales as
a child.

The knight in shining armor doesn't
always ride up on his white horse to

us.

We have to make our own way.

Well...

This has been quite a day, hasn't it?

And now I think we should try to get
some sleep.

I have to catch a plane tomorrow.
Mother, you're going tomorrow?

But why?

I suddenly feel much better about
everything.

It seems that I can still shake things
up at my age.

And frankly, I'm not sure that we're
compatible as roommates.

You don't seem able to keep up with me.

Oh, Mother, you don't have to go home
tomorrow. Stay a few days more. We could

talk.

We could go back to the pool hall.

My daughter, you have your own life.

And it's a very good one.

Now, let's get our beauty sleep.

Although... It is a nice night for a
fire.