All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s02e04 TV or Not TV

Who's that gal? I think you know her.
She's a real -life liar and she'll

go her own way.

She's a nut, she's a gal, she's a big
newscaster. If you need a friend, just

on and ask her today.

Yeah, it's Murthy, Murthy, Murthy,
Murthy Brawl.

The lady's a tramp.

The lady's a brawl.

There's no one else in the whole darn
town who can make you laugh when you're

feeling down.

It's Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy
Brown.

Hi, I'm Murphy Brown. You must be my new
secretary.

Please tell me you. And let me just say
that I'm here to serve you in any way.

Now, I'm a guy who's fly.

So look me in the eye. and tell me what
you need, then let me say ha, ha, ha,

ha. Say it again.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. One more time.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Okay.

Morning, everybody.

Sorry I'm late. I got tied up in a
meeting.

The guys from the entertainment division
are in from L .A. They spent the first

20 minutes talking about how death
starts in the colon before we got down

business. Can we make this meeting fast,
Miles? I've got a shoot at a toxic

waste site, and I want to get there
before the wind shifts.

Okay, okay.

I have some information for you.

The network has given the green light to
a new situation comedy series.

Now, they're very high on it, and they'd
like our help.

Our help?

Sorry, Miles.

We don't get involved with people who
sit in a room all day and think up

stories about talking horses.

What kind of job is that for a grown
-up?

No, no, you don't understand.

It seems this show is set in a newsroom.

Oh, a newsroom.

What kind of newsroom, Miles? A live
weekly magazine show. It centers around

anchorwoman. What kind of anchorwoman?

Bright, ambitious, tough, driven, at the
top of her profession.

Can they do that without my permission?

Before you jump to any conclusions,
they've assured me she's not modeled

anybody. She's a combination of a lot of
people.

Anyone from Leslie Stahl to Sam
Donaldson.

What's her name?

Kelly Green.

I'm going to kill you, Mike.

I have nothing to do with this.

You know how I feel about the news
division.

It's sacred.

But the head of the network overruled me
and gave them permission to come in and

study us.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm
not... I'm about to jeopardize my

credibility as a journalist for some 30
-minute sitcom.

Who's in it?

They just closed the deal with Julia St.

Martin. Oh, that does it.

Julia St. Martin?

I love her.

Come on, Frank. The woman made a fortune
playing a nun in a push -up bra.

it isn't. It's an intrusion. How are we
supposed to get anything done with her

hanging around here flicking her hair
and wetting her lips?

Did she need a ride from the airport?

I don't know, Murphy.

At least there are two of us left who
refuse to allow our journalistic

to be tarnished. I better get back to
work before the network decides to give

a wacky sidekick.

And I said to him, Jack, this is an
important speech for you.

I've seen this wall affect everyone,
East, West, even the Americans.

And in a sense, we're all Berliners.

Of course, we were speaking German at
the time.

You know, Jim, this is so exciting for
me to get to sit here and experience the

man behind the icon.

There's a warmth and a passion.

I don't show that side to many people.

I played a merry townsman in my high
school production of Brigadoon.

Murphy, you're here.

Hello, Murphy.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Julius A. Barton, Murphy Brown.

Murphy, I am so pleased to finally meet
you. I feel like I know you.

I mean, after all, we did once share the
cover of the National Enquirer.

I was abducted by a UFO, and Murphy was
having Bigfoot's baby.

Nice to meet you, too.

Do you think I could have my chair back?

Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry.

I was just getting the feel of your
office, studying the details. It really

help an actress to construct a
character.

Uh -huh. Well, I'm sort of busy
constructing a story for next week's

time's a little short. You know, I love
her directness. That ability to just cut

right through it. I really want to try
to use that. Wonderful idea. Just

wonderful. Knock, knock.

Here's that cafe au lait. you wanted,
Julia.

I brought it up from the commissary
myself.

Miles, thank you. You didn't have to do
that.

I'm sure you have much more important
things to do than run around and get me

coffee.

Not really.

Hey, Murph, how are you?

Oh, hello.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you had
company.

The Temple of Doom is that way.

Let me introduce myself.

Frank Fontana.

Investigative reporter.

Julia St. Martin.

Actress. You know, my time is awfully
short with all the crime and things

on. But I might be able to manage to
clear some time and pick you on a

Yeah, there should be lots of
opportunity for comedy at a cyanide

Well, I just think she should get an
overview.

That's all. Well, if she wants an
overview, she should be able to read all

wiretaps. Do we have to hose you down?
Come on, guys. I'm busy here.

Fellas, I think we should just get out
of Murphy's way.

I'm going to go into that news area
there and just see what's going on.

We call it the bullpen.

Like in baseball.

Everybody, I'm here to research a role,
and I can't do that unless all of you

just ignore me and go back to your work.
I'm not here, okay?

Oh.

Thanks.

I know you!

Hi. I know you, too. Hi. Judith St.
Martin.

Corky Sherwood. This is really exciting.

loved you in None on the Run.

Although, I think I liked None on the
Run 2 even better.

Listen, Corky, I know you must be very
busy, but it would really help me if I

could experience the world of
broadcasting through the eyes of someone

out there every day, living it and
breathing it.

Oh, of course, I'd be happy to help you.

The blonde leading the blonde.

If you had one piece of advice to give
me as a journalist and a woman, what

would it be?

Don't wear pleats.

Corky, I won't keep you any longer.

You've really been very helpful. Thank
you.

If there's any other way I can assist
you in your search for accuracy, I'm at

your service.

I should have just put out that exercise
video when I had the chance.

Oh, come on, Murphy. Throw me a
lifeline.

Look, Julia, I know you have a job to
do, but so do I. I'm in the middle of a

very hot story, and it has to come
first.

What is it?

Oh, it's a little complicated. I don't
know if you'd understand.

Well, try me.

I've uncovered some information on the
Korea River Dam project.

The senator sponsoring the bill stands
to make a pretty good profit if the

government purchases the land involved.

It's what we in the media call a vested
interest story.

I knew there was something that wasn't
right about that project.

The Sierra Club said that dam would
devastate agriculture in three adjoining

states as well as threaten the habitat
of 23 migratory birds and 17 species of

fish.

And Jane Fonda told me I was paranoid.

Look, Murphy, can I just be honest with
you for a minute?

For most of my career, I've had to
accept whatever roles they handed to me,

I've hung in there, but now for the
first time, I get to choose.

And I choose you.

I really want to be proud of this. I
really want Kelly Green to be modeled

the best reporter on television.

Don't make me go to Maria Shriver, the
woman married Conan.

Well... Okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt
for you to watch me for one day, but

let's keep it low -key. Oh, thank you,
thank you. Oh, I won't be in a way you

won't even know I'm here.

So, let's get going on that story. We
really should take a closer look at

environmental impact studies. Do you
think we could fit another desk in here?

I'm right behind you, Murphy. I know.

Get me Senator Poirot.

I'll get him for you now. You don't have
to tell me how. If you say it to me

nice, you don't have to say it twice.

Foray. Today.

Make way. Okay.

Hello. Senator Foray? Murphy Brown.

About that Carrillo River Dam project.

Yes, I know you're a busy man, Senator.
Anyone holding down two jobs usually is.

And tell me, Senator, just what exactly
does the third executive vice president

of Waterside Realty do?

Senator, when you say you have no
comment to me, that's one thing. But

repeat that to 16 million viewers,

10 .30 tomorrow would be fine.

See you then.

God, that was perfect.

That's everything I want Kelly to be.

Murphy, do me a favor. Trade places with
me for just a minute.

I just want to capture that moment.

What do you mean?

Oh, come on, get up. Here, lower your
glasses.

Great. This is an acting exercise. It's
called sense memory.

Just give me a minute to prepare and
then cue me. You be the telephone. Say,

ring, ring.

This is ridiculous.

I don't want to be a telephone. What if
someone walks in?

This is Kelly Green.

Yes, the Kelly Green.

Oh, I think you'll find time to talk to
me when you hear why I'm calling.

Yes, I know you're very busy. Most
people who hold down two jobs are.

Mm -hmm.

Even one who's a silent partner in the,
uh, Waterside Realty Corporation.

Right.

Well, no comment is something you could
say to me, Senator, but I think our 15

million viewers are going to have some
pretty... colorful comments of their

10 .30 is fine.

See you then.

Unbelievable.

Is it Murphy or is it Memorex?

Oh, that felt good.

It felt right.

Oh, this is so exciting. I have bonded
with the character.

Murphy, this is all you're doing. You've
been such an inspiration.

Oh, well, gee.

Oh, wow.

What? What? I have got an idea. This is
so incredible.

You're not going to believe this.
Listen, Murphy Brown meets Kelly Green

premiere episode.

You do a walk -on.

Oh, it would be so great.

We have a real -life newswoman walk into
our fictional world. Now, tell me this

isn't the best. Oh, now wait a minute,
Julia.

It's been really great having you here,
but we really frown upon our

correspondence doing entertainment
programs.

Oh, but Miles, a new show needs all the
help it can get.

And besides, having a huge star like
Murphy Brown would practically guarantee

a 40 share.

Oh, Julia, I don't think it would mean a
40 share.

Julia, aren't you forgetting something?

Murphy isn't an actress.

Isn't an actress? Let me tell you
something. The one thing you cannot

actress is charisma.

Oh, I have watched this woman week after
week on television.

Talk about someone who really knows how
to fill up a screen.

I would kill for her presence.

I don't really think I'd be any good.

Would I? Oh, you'd be great.

You would be wonderful.

Miles, we're talking 10 million new
viewers for FYI and a cover of TV Guide.

Guide? Julia, you're putting Murphy in a
tough spot, but I'll be the bad guy.

I cannot endorse anything that might
damage Murphy's credibility as a

journalist. I'm going to have to say no.

Come on, don't be so dodgy. I mean, if
the entertainment division needs our

help, how can we refuse?

So let's get started.

Okay, this is our newsroom set, our
bullpen.

What we're going to be filming here,
Murphy, is the very last scene of the

Kelly will say her line to her co
-worker.

That will be your cue to enter from the
elevator.

You'll come down, you'll come down.
Down, enter from the elevator. Down to

spot. Down to this spot that we have
marked on the floor, babe. Okay?

Now, you'll say your line. We'll freeze
frame.

Show's over. Series runs seven years. We
run out of places to put all the Emmys,

okay?

Murphy.

Murphy, have you seen your line yet?

Yes, I have, and I have to tell you, I
think it's pretty funny. Great. Can we

put it on a cue card for you? Actually,
I've memorized it, something I do. I

frequently memorize several pages of
copy.

Hey!

waiting for. Okay, good show, everybody.

Roll cameras.

Rolling. Kelly Green.

Scene eight, take one.

And action.

Boy, you make one little comment about
the competition and the next thing you

know it's on page one of the post.

Murphy Brown.

I got your letter of apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with
herring.

Cut.

Great, great. Now that we've got it
once, let's try to relax

and have some fun with it, okay? One
more time, just from the elevator,

I'm ready.

Scene eight, take two.

And action.

Murphy Brown.

I got your letter of apology, Kelly. Now
I'm sorry I filled your car with

herring.

Great, great. Much, much, much, much,
much, much better.

Let me suggest something.

Try to punch the words car.

and herring. Car, herring.

That really makes the joke hit home. Oh,
oh, I see what you mean. Of course,

that makes it much funnier. Thanks for
the tip.

Roll cameras.

Rolling. Kelly Green.

Scene eight.

Take three.

And... action.

Murphy Brown. I got your letter of
apology. Apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with
herring.

Cut. I missed my mark. I knew that. I
guess I was thinking so much about

punching the right words.

You know, this is harder than I thought.
I've been watching you. You hit your

mark every time and you seem so natural.

Well, Murphy, maybe it will help if you
just try to forget about the cameras and

all the people out there. You know, all
the times we've talked the last few

weeks. Just think of this as just
another one of those conversations.

Great, I'll try that.

The woman is a redwood.

Hey, Alvin. Hey, how you doing? Hello
there. Hi there, Alvin.

Hello.

So, we meet again.

Hello, Alvin.

It's Alvin.

But I can be Alvin.

Hey, everybody.

Wait up.

So, everybody, ready for the world
premiere of Kelly Green?

Where's Julia?

I thought she should be here. Did you
invite her, Murph?

You know, I bet you'd love to watch the
show with all of us.

She and I were getting pretty close
there at the end.

Faith and Frank, right now the woman is
sitting in a hot tub with Emilio

Estevez.

This is why I don't own a television.

I braved three wars and eight
administrations so I could see myself

comic tour de force for Peter Graves.

Okay, I know the show's a little
contrived, but didn't you think there

few good moments?

What about that last scene? I thought
that was pretty funny.

Did you hear the way I punched the joke?
That's an acting term, punching the

joke.

Oh, come on.

What did you think of me?

Hey, look at the time.

I'll call you back.

Before you start, I got something to
say. So I'm going to say it now and get

out of the way. I want a good assistant
before I'm retired. And that's not you.

So guess what? You're fired.

Good morning, Murphy.

I got your ratings from your show. It's
not my show, Miles.

Kelly Green came in a distant fifth in
the ratings.

You were behind the other two networks,
Fox, and a Superstation broadcast of the

incredible Mr. Limpet.

Give it a rest, okay? I just wanted to
point out that had you listened to my

advice, you wouldn't be suffering
through this humiliation.

Look, Miles, it was a one -shot deal. I
just tried to have a little fun.

The fact is the American people aren't
sitting around right now discussing my

performance.

Okay, so they are.

But tomorrow somebody will spot Elvis at
a 7 -Eleven and they'll forget all

about me.

Hi.

Hi.

Gee, it's great to see you. What brings
you to town?

Oh, I was just here for some bureau
meetings.

Hey, I saw you on TV last night. Really?
What did you think?

Murphy, can I be honest with you?

I think it's wrong for a journalist of
your stature to appear in a sitcom.

What? You crossed that line. You
undermine your credibility. I feel so

about that.

Well, Connie, that sounds awfully noble
and righteous, but I bet if you'd been

in my place and those network people
came to you begging you to help their

show...

Offering you the chance to do something
a little different, a little intriguing.

Something tells me you'd be singing a
different tune. I bet I know what you

would have told them.

Exactly what I did tell them. No thanks.

I don't know how many people realize
this, but the kid from the Sixth Sense

played your son on the show. Yeah.

Haley Joel Osment, really talented kid.
Tell me, does that kid give you the

creeps? No. But he sees dead people.

Are you a real journalist?